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62. Is Comparison Stealing Your Joy as a Christian Leader? · Believe & Become | Ministry, Biblical Encouragement, God's Will, How to Change, Holy Spirit

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Have you ever watched someone else succeed and suddenly felt so much worse about yourself? Comparison has this way of stealing our joy because it usually pushes us in one of two directions. Either we go to pride thinking we're doing better, or jealousy when we think someone else has what we should have. Today we're talking about how to break free from comparison, celebrate other people without feeling threatened and coming back into alignment with what God says about you. It's gonna be a good one.
• 0:34
  Speaker B: If you're tired of leading others while secretly battling doubt, discouragement and mental warfare,
• 0:39
  Speaker C: and you want practical tools to renew your mind and walk boldly in your
• 0:43
  Speaker B: calling as a leader, you're in the right place. Welcome to believe and become.
• 0:47
  Speaker C: We're Josh and Corina your spirit filled coaches, here to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and lead others confidently.
• 0:54
  Speaker B: If you're ready to hear God's voice more clearly, to step into your purpose and find joy and strength in the
• 0:59
  Speaker C: everyday, step silence those Bible app reminders judging you from your lock screen and let's jump in.
• 1:11
  Speaker D: I remember a few years back when we first came to ministry school. We came into an environment of, oh, how many people were there?
• 1:21
  Speaker C: 600.
• 1:22
  Speaker D: 600 people. We had come, we were worship leaders at our church for, you know, at least 13 years. We'd been in ministry for a long time. We came into this room of 600 people and it turns out that pretty much all of them are worship leaders. And we were surrounded by so many gifted, talented, anointed, amazing people all around us. And naturally it made me go start comparing myself to all these other amazing people. It's like, do I stack up? How do I compare? I'm not, oh, I'm not as good as that person. I'm not as talented as that person. Wow, look what that person can do. And it actually started to steal my joy of being able to lead worship or just to enter into God's presence and worship him. How I had loved it. I was so passionate about it for so many years. It actually was a season where it was pretty difficult because I allowed that comparison to steal my joy and to steal just what I loved, what I loved to do. Because I was like, I don't have what some of these other people have, or maybe I have something that they don't have, but I'm not getting opportunities or there's just all these things that happen when we start looking at other people. And what I found through that process is that God has gifted us all individually, he has created us uniquely, and we all have our Own special calling and our own special sauce that only we bring to what we do. So when I lead worship, it's different from when Corina leads worship, or when one of our friends does, or one of the other 598 people at our ministry school leads worship. We all bring something unique. We all carry something different. And so I went through this process of figuring out what the Lord, when I lead worship, when I play an instrument, when I play bass or whatever I'm doing, what do I bring that's unique to me? I bring freedom. I break chains. I release a sound that sets people free to enjoy God's presence. And I release this incredible peace. And that's the process that the Lord led me through to say, you know what? Don't look at anybody else. Just know what I put inside of you that's unique, that is special. That is the talent that I've given you, the anointing that you have that no one else on the planet has, not even not just people in your ministry school, but no one else on the planet has that unique background experiences. All the different things that I put into your heart that you've lived through, that you've overcome, that you're overcoming right now, all of those things make this special blend of who you are and you are so uniquely created. And once I began to understand that and to live out of that and to minister out of that, it completely changed the way that I approached worship. It completely changed the way that I approach just worshiping God. It's like, oh, wow, I have a special unique relationship with him that no one else has. And then I didn't have to look at anybody else. Sure, it's hard when maybe you don't get the opportunity that you wanted, but that's something that you can bring to the Lord and process with him. And maybe he has something different for you. He is always opening other doors when certain ones close. His plan is just so special and so perfect for each one of us. But that really changed my heart. And it brought me to a place of where I had the joy again. I had the joy of being able to worship him. Whether or not I was leading, whether or not I was in the back playing bass or just in the congregation worshiping, I knew that God had put something special in me. And whatever anyone else was doing didn't take anything away from what he put inside of me.
• 5:04
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's so beautiful. What would you say is the lie that you believed and then the truth that overcame it?
• 5:13
  Speaker D: So the lie I was believing Was that maybe I wasn't good enough or, you know, it's the enemy whispering to, why, why? Why would you even try to lead worship? Look at those people. They're so much better than you. They're more anointed and gifted, and there's no reason for you to be up there. You should just probably give up. You should stop doing that. You should stop ministering.
• 5:34
  Speaker A: You should stop releasing freedom and peace into people's lives by being who God made you to be.
• 5:39
  Speaker D: Right? So that's the lie. And it sounds laughable, right, that we laugh at those lies once you can kind of articulate them. Because the enemy, those lies are silly. He's like, well, yeah, you probably. You shouldn't release freedom or peace or break chains with your worship because, yeah, it's not going to work.
• 5:57
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 5:57
  Speaker D: So that was the lie that I was believing. But the truth that God led me into is that, yeah, I am uniquely created and anointed. When I lead worship. When I minister, something special happens that no one else can do. And I'm called to minister to certain group of people that no one else can reach. And once I understood that, and then I went through this whole process that the Lord led me through of understanding that I don't work for God. I work with him. I don't have to earn his favor, his attention, his love, all that. I have that because I'm a son that was really powerful. And we've talked about that on other episodes. But once I had that understanding of my uniqueness and that no one else can speak like I do, no one else can lead worship like I do, no one else can pray for people like I do. That led me into freedom.
• 6:50
  Speaker A: I think we've all been there. We have all experienced those situations where we thought we were really good at something. And then we step into a group where everybody's really good at it. Or maybe you're the top dog at your, you know, whatever, whatever. You belong to your club, your organization, your job, your church. And then suddenly somebody else shows up and they're starting to get the, oh, my gosh, you're so good at that. And wow. And they're getting promoted and they're getting acknowledged, and that can steal our joy. That we've all heard that saying, comparison is the thief of joy. And that's really what happens. And I think it really does either leave you prideful when you're the top dog and everybody's like, wow, you're amazing. This is so cool. Like, we love having you, or it Makes you jealous when that other person comes in or when you step into a room full of other people who can do exactly what you can do. And you're like, well, why? Why them? Why not me? What. What do they have that I don't? And so this idea of comparing ourselves to others, I think it happens naturally. I don't think it's a sin to. To notice things that are different about us, because I think our differences really are what make us unique. What is special about you is only you. And I love that you said, nobody can do it like me. Nobody can lead worship the way I can and bring what I carry and all. All of my experiences. Nobody can say it like you. Nobody can do the thing that you do the way that you do it, because that's who God made you to be. But I think when we recognize that about ourselves, then you can take joy in whoever is being acknowledged or praised, and you can take joy in when you get that position or that thing that you were hoping to get. But you can celebrate it all because we all get to win together. I think that's really cool.
• 8:43
  Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, look at the disciples, right? They were always comparing, right? Which to me, I love that that's in the Bible, because it is so comforting to know that even these 12 guys that hung out with Jesus 247 for three years were still like, who's Jesus? Who's the greatest? No, I'm better than you. They still struggled with that. And I think that's natural. When you get world changers all in a room together, there's gonna be a little bit of like, who? Okay, you know, this comparison. But ultimately God wants to break off of that comparison. That's not where we're supposed to stay. We might start in comparison, but he wants to set us free. Because a John can't reach the people that a Peter can reach or that a Paul could reach. You know, once he, you know, he wasn't which of the original 12, but, you know, Peter was called to the Jews and Paul was called to the Gentiles. They had unique ministries and they. What if Peter and Paul were like, well, I'm better than you, or, you know, I'm not as good as him. They wouldn't have serve their purpose in the kingdom. And ultimately in the kingdom, there's more than enough to go around. God has a unique calling for you. He has a unique purpose for you, and he's leading you into that. And so if you're spending your time saying, well, I'm not as Good as that person, or I'm way better than that person, then that's the. Our focus is on the wrong thing. Our focus should be on God and what he has uniquely created you to do. Once you figure out that calling, then the comparison falls off and you go, whoa, look at what God's doing in that person's life, what he's doing through that person. That's amazing. That's incredible. I could never do that. But they're walking in their purpose. That person's walking their purpose. Maybe we're in a similar lane. That's amazing. Let's go together. We can do way more together than we can if we're stuck just saying, well, I'm better than you, or, oh, my gosh, I'm so intimidated by that person.
• 10:36
  Speaker A: I think it's actually in First Corinthians where Paul addresses this, and he says, you guys are arguing about who baptized you and who you follow. And. And he's like, we're all one in Christ. We're all the same. It's not Peter. It's not Paul, it's not Apollos, and it's. It's Jesus. And I think when we can really grab hold of that, it changes everything.
• 10:55
  Speaker D: Yeah.
• 10:56
  Speaker A: So we want to share some tips to overcoming this comparison thief, because we know that anything that is steal from you is coming from the devil. And so we want to overcome through the way that we engage with our thoughts about other people and the way that we engage with them. So one of the ways that we can really begin to overcome comparison. This is something that helped me so much because I was one who would. I. It's like one of those, like, I don't live for the praise, but the praise kind of feels good. And then when somebody else would get it, it was like, well, why did they get it and not me? I allowed it to, like, go deep or take root. I never allowed it to turn into jealousy or envy, but it would just kind of prick. And I didn't like that. I didn't like feeling that way. And so when I learned this, that I could celebrate others and that the jealousy would actually. Those. Those comparison and jealous thoughts, they actually just had to go away. It changed everything for me. So whenever somebody around me was doing really good, I could be like, yes, I am so happy for you. That's amazing. When somebody would compliment somebody else to me, like, oh, so and so did really good on that, or I really love that about them, I would be like, yes, me too. That's so cool. Isn't it amazing what God is doing in them. And. And when I could celebrate others, then I stopped being like, it's not even jealous. It's just that comparison, that jealous voice that tries to come in. And I think, like, in everything that we talk about and that we face those thoughts when we have those thoughts, it's so easy to identify ourselves with them and to think, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm jealous. I can't believe I'm thinking this. And then we give more and more attention to it instead of just nipping it in the bud and being like, not today, Satan. Right. Because that's really what it is. It's the enemy trying to entice you to think like he does. And so celebrating others really was a huge key for me.
• 13:00
  Speaker D: Yeah. The joy of the Lord is our strength. And so anytime we can celebrate and enter into joy, that's going to strengthen us internally. It's just a mindset shift that we have to do. We're all on the same team. We're not competing against each other for this little 1% of whatever. That's what it feels like. It's like that person's taking away some opportunity from me or they're getting the favor, they're getting the attention, and I'm not getting anything. When ultimately we're all working on the same team. We're all part of the the kingdom and we are all moving forward together. So when you see when someone else wins, I win too. I get to enter into their victory. That really changes everything. And I found that just gratitude is such a powerful weapon. I think it's one of our strongest and most overlooked weapons that God has given us to defeat the enemy whenever we're thankful. Thank you, God, for what you're doing in that person's life. Thank you for the success that they're having. Thank you, God, that you're blessing their ministry, that it's expanding. Thank you for what their leading in the kingdom. That's incredible. That just. It just breaks off of that comparison. Thank you that I get to benefit from what they're learning, what they're. What they're teaching.
• 14:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Speaker D: That is huge. That has helped me a lot to just be grateful and to celebrate these wins of other people. It. It, it breaks that comparison thing right off of you.
• 14:26
  Speaker A: Yep, it really does. And I love that we all get to succeed together. Right. When I'm celebrating somebody else, that's really in a team setting. If you win, I win. Like, we're all winning together. And so we can celebrate each other and then that not only creates a better environment in your team, but it actually makes you feel happier and it actually promotes like health giving, life giving benefits in your. In yourself versus envy and jealousy which literally like eats you away inside and rots you from the inside out. Celebration makes you more joyful and excited and people will want to be around you when you're constantly celebrating them. Good job. Way to go. That's amazing. That is going to invite people closer because they're gonna want to be celebrated by you. So I think celebrating others, the ones who are doing better, who are maybe surpassing you or doing things that you could never do, but then the next thing is to encourage the ones who are coming up behind you. Encouragement is a huge tool. We've talked about it a lot. But it is so valuable and so important that we encourage not just the ones who are coming behind you, because everybody in your sphere, everyone you know, could use a little encouragement. So encour encouraging people along their journey and in their skill sets and what they can do and calling out that gold, like we like to say that is going to be a huge boost to your morale and the morale of your team.
• 15:54
  Speaker D: Yeah. And I actually saw this a lot. I used to work as, I spent five years as a manager kind of in the defense industry. And I would see it all the time. People would be jockeying for position or I don't want to help that person out. I'm going to even withhold information that they probably need so that they fail and I look better than them. But that always showed up like, it would always be like, well, why didn't you talk to that person? Why didn't you tell them what you know? And they would always get. It wouldn't. It would backfire on them. And so the people that would encourage others and especially the managers that were always building their team and empowering their team and lifting them up, those were the managers that were really successful because other people would go, oh, that I want to work with that guy. He's awesome. Look at the leaders that he's developed and raised up. And then you would get recognized by the upper management because they say, well, you have this team of leaders. We have like five choices for your replacement. Of course we're going to promote you. But the other people that kept tamping down all their workers and saying, well, I'm going to get all the glory, I'm not going to, I'm not going to help you out, you know, I'm going to actually make your lives harder. You know, they were the ones that, well, if we promote you, who's. We've made a huge hole in our organization. We don't want to do that. And so I saw that over and over again. The people that were really focused on their team, celebrating their successes, empowering them, giving them the tools that they needed to be successful, those were the ones that really shined. And everybody was like, oh, that person's great. They have a great attitude. They're so much fun to be around. They really work well with people. That's a great team.
• 17:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 17:40
  Speaker D: And that got a lot of recognition.
• 17:41
  Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that goes in pretty much any workplace. If you're leading people, you want to be working to replace yourself. I think most moms would love that opportunity, but. Just kidding. But you know, in any place that you're leading, in church, in the marketplace, even on teams, like, if you're playing a sport, this. This is such a good way to lead, where you're like, hey, let me show you the ropes. Let me show you how to do what I'm. When I'm sick, you're the next one in line. When I'm promoted, I'm going to recommend you, and you're bringing people with you so that everybody is growing and everybody really wants to work with you because they know they're going to be better leaders for being led by you.
• 18:25
  Speaker D: And the last thing that we want to do is repent. And repent just means to change the way that you think. I'm changing my thoughts. I'm actually going to be intentional and think the way that God wants me to. And so we're going to repent to the truth. It's not just confessing sins. It's like, okay, I realized that I was thinking a wrong way. Now I'm going to change the way I'm going to think. So in this case, when you feel that comparison crop up, you go, oh, you know, we all know what that feeling is. Like, Go, oh, actually, God, I'm sorry for that. I'm going to think different. Show me what I need to think. Show me how to celebrate that person. Release the power of joy and gratitude in my life for what you're doing in that person's life. And even go to them. This is the hardest thing, is to go and go, wow, congratulations. I'm so proud of you. Or, I'm so excited for what God is doing. Have a conversation with them about that. That is really powerful when someone gets recognized and you just go, wow, that's incredible what God has done in your life. Or congratulations on that promotion. Maybe it's the one that you wanted. You say, you were the right choice. I'm so glad. And you want to be sincere about it. You don't want to just be doing it, but you want to get to the place where you're like, God, change my heart so that I can be sincere in congratulating that person. And that's just that repentance process. I'm going to change my thoughts.
• 19:46
  Speaker A: I love that you said you want to be sincere, because I think that can feel like the hardest part. When we don't feel that way, then we feel like, well, I can't say that because I don't feel it and that inauthentic. But I think what we can do is we can take it to the Father. And it doesn't mean you have to go to them right then in the moment. Like, you can take your time. You can say, like, oh, that kind of stings. I'm going to go sit with the Lord on this, and I'm going to repent until I can approach them with authentic celebration. Sometimes simply the act of celebrating somebody else is really all it takes. Because sometimes it's just, you need to shut down that voice that's lying to you. But if you've partnered with comparison and jealousy, this kind of trap for a long time, that's gonna be something that needs some work. Sit with the Father and say, God, what are the lies that I'm believing that are causing me to feel envious or jealous of this person? Why can't I celebrate them authentically and just listen to him? Because that's where we can begin to overcome those strongholds in our minds, those strongholds in our hearts, the places inside of us that have agreed with a lie for too long. We want to get in there and want to dig up that lie. And so, God, what am I believing that's causing me to feel envious? And I. I think that speaks to the process that you went through during ministry school of recognizing that you were believing that there's not enough to go around that if somebody else is getting the recognition, then I don't get it, or that you deserve something that somebody else got. I think when you recognize those lights and really what it comes down to is the enemy saying you're not good enough, right? It's like there's that root lie. And so when you can recognize the lie, you can break agreement with that and you can begin to replace it with the Truth. And sometimes it's really hard to recognize those lies by ourselves. And that's actually why we created a free hope quiz. It helps you look at four areas of your life and identify where you might be believing something that's stealing your joy or your hope. And if comparison has been triggering you, this could really be a helpful next step. So you can take that quiz@joshandkarina.com coaching that's J-O-S-H-A-N-D C O R-I-N A.com coaching and just take our free hope quiz. That might help you begin to identify that the areas where you're struggling to really engage in celebration with for others. So go to joshandkarina.com coaching and take that free hope quiz. We would love to help you identify those hope areas and help you walk into the truth of what God says about you.
• 22:28
  Speaker D: So, yeah, that's the first step is just identifying, is there a lie that I'm believing? And then the next step is, what does God say about that? What's the truth that I need to believe? And that is so powerful. He's great at identifying those lies, and he loves to destroy them and do that exchange. Give me that lie. You don't need that anymore. And I'm gonna give you the truth. It's like a little gift that we get to open from our heavenly Father that releases us from a lie that's been holding us in chains for too long. It's like he wants us to be free because his truth sets us free. So you can just ask God, okay, is there a line believing about another person or about myself, that comparison is bringing up. And then what's the truth that God wants me to believe? God, what is unique about me? Show that to me. Give me a picture of that. And then you just want to renew your mind with that truth. And you ask God, how do I partner with this truth? What does it look like to embody that, to live that out every day of my life? What does it look like to make that part of me? We help our clients write declarations. What are things that you can say every day? And we harness the power of our tongues to renew our minds. That's just a little glimpse into the process that we love to lead people through. And the reason that we do that is because it has worked so well in our lives. It has transformed us. And we are so excited to see everybody else. We want everybody on the planet to experience the freedom that comes when you identify lies and replace them. With God's truth. So right now, I just sense actually God's grace coming on you to destroy that lie of comparison, that either you're not good enough or you're better than everybody else. Those are both lies. You're actually just uniquely created to be you. And right now, he's setting you free in whatever context you find yourself, whether it's ministry, family, your job, wherever you are. He created you uniquely and on purpose. And no one else can say it like you can. No one else can minister like you can. No one else can do your job like you can. He's created you uniquely to reach the world around you. And so he's just releasing his grace for you to do that right now, to embody your true identity, your true self, to discover that and live in that every single day of your life.
• 24:51
  Speaker C: Hey, friend. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share this podcast with someone who may need encouragement or practical tools for fighting their battle?
• 25:02
  Speaker B: Then rate and review this podcast. Help us spread the message of transformation far and wide.
• 25:07
  Speaker C: All right, time to walk back into the noise with peace, purpose, and maybe a tiny bit of guessing.
• 25:12
  Speaker B: We'll meet you back next Thursday for another episode.
• 25:15
  Speaker D: Bye, Sam.