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651 | Christ in Every Relationship · The Woman at the Well Ministries Podcast

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Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Woman at the Well Ministries podcast.
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With Kimberly Miller, where we believe that every man, woman,
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boy, and girl must come to Jesus just like the woman at the well in John chapter 4.
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Our highest priority is helping you experience the reality of God in your everyday life.
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Whether you're listening in our app, on your favorite podcast platform,
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or on our website at watwm.org,
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we invite you to sit down with us as we open the scriptures to learn more about
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who God is and to strengthen your daily walk.
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When we give Jesus His rightful place in our lives and make Him Lord of our
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life and King of our heart, then how we live reflects the character,
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authority, and love of Jesus Christ.
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Because Christ is Lord, the gospel transforms how we live in our homes,
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workplaces, and relationships.
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Jesus shines through us in all we do and say.
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Join us in this podcast of Woman at the Well Ministries as Kimberly Miller takes
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us on a journey through the scriptures, revealing the power of God in our relationships.
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Thank you for joining us in this podcast of Women at the Well Ministries.
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I think we often forget our responsibility we have in relationships.
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We are quick to see where people fail us, where they don't hold up their end
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of the bargain, or perhaps they're not being the friend to us that we want them to be.
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But somewhere along the line, we must also realize that we have a distinct,
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responsibility, not just to our friends and family and those that we're having
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a relationship with, but also to the Lord Jesus in how we present ourselves, how we,
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navigate and manage all of our relationships.
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In fact, in John chapter 13 and verse 35, he says this, By this shall all men.
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Know that you are my disciples,
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if you have love one to another.
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And I love how the scripture says love one to another. It doesn't just say love one for another.
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We can love someone and not be treating them with love.
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When we do things that hurt other people, it may be out of anger. It may be out of spite.
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It may be because we just need something inside of us that's telling us we have to win.
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And so we do something to hurt someone else. And clearly there's something wrong
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with that relationship.
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But that doesn't necessarily mean that that person doesn't love you.
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It means at that moment, they are not giving you love.
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There are times that we hurt people and we don't mean to.
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We are trying to do the very best we can to support them, to help them,
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to be the friend, the husband, the wife, the son, the daughter,
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the brother, the sister.
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We're trying to do our best. But whatever we do ends up being the wrong thing and we hurt someone.
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And that's why it's so important in Scripture when you read this verse that
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he tells us that we are to have love one to another.
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Love needs to flow from you to those that are around you through your words,
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through your actions, through your kind deeds, through your thoughts.
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You need to purpose in your heart and in your mind.
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To love one another, and to show love to others. Let's pray.
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Our kind and most gracious to Heavenly Father, Lord, I thank you for this time that we have together.
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I thank you that I know that you love me. And I thank you, Lord,
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that you have a plan for all of us. And it's a personal plan to prosper us and to give us a hope.
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So today, Lord, I pray that you would open our hearts and you would open our
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minds and that you would reveal through this scripture in Colossians exactly
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what you would have each of us to know and that we would do an assessment of our life.
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And Lord, that we would ask you to encourage us, to motivate us,
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and to equip us to give love to others as you would have us to give.
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Lord, we love you, we praise you, and we thank you. And I ask you,
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Lord, to remove me as far as the east is from the west
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from this message so that only your words are heard and we walk away,
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Lord, being changed and transformed by the Holy Spirit through the power of your word.
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And in Jesus name we pray.
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Amen. So as we look at this scripture, and it's kind of the lens I want to use,
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to look at everything else, we need to look at all of our relationships and ask ourselves,
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do we demonstrate love in those relationships?
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And we'll pick out some that are very important because that's what scripture is going to tell us.
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But I want you to use this as a litmus test on all the different relationships
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you have and ask yourself, are you truly giving the love of Jesus,
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to all the people that God has chosen,
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to be in your life?
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Are you treating them with the love of God?
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Now, I know at first glance of listening to this, you're thinking there's just
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some people. There's just some people.
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I just can't give the love of God to. There's just some people that I don't
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know that I can do what you're asking.
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Well, first of all, I'm not asking.
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And second of all, he does tell us in Romans 12, 18, these words.
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If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
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In other words, you do your part. You're not responsible for what anybody else does.
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You're only responsible for what you do.
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So let's get into the word of God in our text today, coming out of Colossians
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chapter 3, beginning in verse 18 and continuing to Colossians 4, verse 1.
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In Colossians 3, 1 through 17, that we spoke about in our previous message,
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we learned that new believers have a different life in Christ,
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that it's a life that is transformed by the renewing of our mind.
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And it is a reasonable sacrifice for us to lay it at the feet of Jesus.
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That we're told in Romans 12, 1 and 2. But Colossians 3, 17 shows us how the
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new man has been transformed.
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And how it's not just what we do in public. It's not just merely a religious transformation.
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It is a complete overhaul of our lives.
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And we are new creatures in Christ Jesus, just as it is reiterated in 2 Corinthians 5.17.
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So as we begin to look at this scripture, beginning in verse 18 of Colossians
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3, I want you to listen to every word written, filtering it through.
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We are to love one another, and we are to give love to one another.
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That is the outward demonstration and the inward proof that you are a disciple of the Most High God.
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Let's read. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
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Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
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Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
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Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
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Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh,
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not with eye service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God.
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And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not unto men,
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knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance,
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for ye serve the Lord Christ,
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that he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done,
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and there is no respect of persons.
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Be very careful as you read these words to not pick and choose which relationships
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you're going to try to hang others with because they're not written for you to use
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as a matrix to decide how all the people in your world are doing,
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they are meant to establish the boundaries in your own life for you to know
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where you stand with the word of God and what it's asking of you.
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And so we're going to look at these as we see them in Scripture.
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The first one he opens up with in verse 18, it says that wives are called to godly submission.
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God has set up a hierarchy in the family.
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He didn't mess around with it.
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He was clear. The man is the head of the house, and the woman is to submit themselves,
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to the head of their house.
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And they both are to do it in a lovingly, godly way.
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Now, this only works if you also follow that he says that husbands are called
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to love their wives with a Christ-like love.
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When he says, submit yourselves to the husband, my friends, He's not saying
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the husband can lord over them.
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He's not saying that the husband has the right to dictate all that is happening.
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What he's saying is that I have given you the woman who is not as fleshly strong
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as you are, who's not as physically fit as you are, even at their absolute best stage.
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We are created differently. Men have a structure that gives them a strong physical stature.
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Women are created differently.
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With a physical stature that doesn't have the same kind of strength.
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And in the hierarchy of God, woman has been given to man for man to love and to protect.
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And in the hierarchy of the family, God has established the structure.
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He's told us that we need to follow his commands.
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It's very important that every woman that's listening understand that God is
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not instructing the man to have any kind of physical authority over them,
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such as abuse or control or ungodly actions or demands or conflicts. That isn't it at all.
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Submission doesn't mean you are inferior to the man, or that you've lost any
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type of dignity, value, or responsibility.
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It is the hierarchy that God has given for the man to be the stronger one in
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the family when it comes to leading.
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The woman is going to have a role that only the woman can control and only the woman can do.
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And that's going to be things dealing with nurturing and love.
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Generally, it's organization and administration of some things.
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But what you have to understand is God is not saying the man is greater than
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the woman, or the woman is lesser than the man, or that the woman has a special
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place and the man doesn't.
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Do not forget, it was a man who carried Jesus in this world.
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It was a woman that carried Jesus into this world, and it had no man at all
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to do with that situation.
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God loves the man and the woman the same.
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He has just given us different roles.
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But it's important that you understand that we are to have godly submission
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from the woman, but the man is to live in a way that they want to do the right thing.
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They are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
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It's not domination. Biblical leadership is a sacrificial responsibility.
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You have to put her before you.
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Her safety has to be above yours.
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The husband's love has to be patient and gentle and faithful and self-giving, as does the woman's.
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But when you begin to look that Jesus said for women to submit themselves to,
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man, but then he tells that man is to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
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That gets to the core of what he's saying.
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In the natural world, the male of the species is the one that can protect the best.
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It's the one that is the strongest. And God has set up the family so that the
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man is more physically strong, has the role of being the leader,
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and getting us through and navigating some of the difficult things in this world.
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But he is to respect his wife. He's to love his wife.
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And if he's got any sense at all, he'll listen to his wife if she is sensible,
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reasonable, and a loving, God-fearing woman.
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It is not meant for domination.
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This love in a marriage, as you see in Ephesians 5, chapter 5,
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verse 25, which reads like this, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
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loved the church and gave himself for it.
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That's the sacrificial part.
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And as we look at that in detail, what we know is that God is asking us to love
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one another as he has loved us.
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And in the world, the structure, the way God has created the family,
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it is the man who's going to sacrifice for the family as the woman has sacrificed
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her body and her life to have her children.
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And it all works together. Marriage should not be governed by selfishness or
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competition or resentment.
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It's founded on love.
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And love doesn't keep score. And love isn't domineering.
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Love is sacrificial. And that's what God is asking.
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And as we look at this, he starts in Colossians 3, in verse 18.
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He starts with the wife, he moves to the dad, and then he sits with the parents and the children.
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We often see parents domineering over their children.
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We also see parents who are trying to reason and do all kinds of business and
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give all this responsibility to the three-year-old, and it's not working either.
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God has told us what we need to do here. He says, children, obey your parents in all things.
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Sometimes you have to just do what your parents are asking you to do,
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even if you don't fully understand.
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They are wiser. They have age and experience.
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And if their commands are not going against what God is saying in his word,
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you need to be grateful that they care enough to try to be watching out for
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you, to be alerting you, to be protecting you from the things in this world.
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And children, you have no way out of it. You have to obey your parents,
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for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.
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It is also the first commandment given with promise.
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He tells us that if we obey our parents, that our days will be extended on our earth.
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Children, you have to obey your mother and father.
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There are still some things that I do exactly the way my mom and dad did.
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And it wouldn't necessarily be wrong or a sin if I did it differently.
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It doesn't go against the word of God.
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But I know that if they were here, it would upset them.
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My dad had certain things that he feared for his children, certain roads he
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didn't want you to drive on at certain times at night.
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And whenever possible, I avoid that road and go the other way.
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Why? Because one, he probably had a very good reason why I shouldn't be on that road at that time.
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And two, how's it going to hurt me to just do the other way?
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Because my parents said no. Sometimes your parents are going to,
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protect you, godly protection, keeping you from doing things that you shouldn't
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do, and you're going to say there's nowhere in the Bible that it says that, but,
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abstain from all appearance of evil is in there, and somehow they feel like this is not right.
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You cannot go against them as a child.
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God has given them to you as parents, and parents, Once he moves on with what
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you're supposed to do, don't provoke them to anger.
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You've been given this child or these children as a gift from God,
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loaned to you to manage him.
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Godly stewardship, they are his, but he's letting you manage their lives.
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He has entrusted them with you to teach them who He is and how to live in this
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world and what they need to do.
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They're a gift from Him.
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Don't take that responsibility lightly and don't give that responsibility to someone else.
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God chose you, mom and you dad.
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To take care of these children, to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
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Children have feelings, and they have faults and opinions, and as a child,
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we often express our opinions far more than we should.
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But don't purposely provoke them. They won't hear what you have to say.
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That constructive criticism you're giving will go right past their heads.
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You cannot parent in such a way that you are constantly discouraging your child constant criticism,
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unrealistic crazy expectations you gotta balance love and grace we all need
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grace and children your parents need some grace.
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They don't always have all the right answers either, and they don't always make
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the right choices, but they're doing it because they love you.
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Don't be harsh or inconsistent with your children.
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And for goodness sake, don't fail to show them love.
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God is love. And as a godly parent, your home should be filled with love.
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It should be a safe place.
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It doesn't mean that children can do whatever they want to.
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It doesn't mean there are not repercussions for things that are done wrong.
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Scripture says, be not deceived. God is not mocked. For whatsoever man soweth, that shall he also reap.
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There are repercussions for every action.
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For every action, there is a reaction.
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And we have to parent with the knowledge that we are responsible for teaching
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them who God is and loving them like God loves them.
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You cannot step out of the love of God.
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Romans 8, 38 and 39 tells us that nothing will separate us from the love of God.
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So as parents, make sure your children know, hey, look, nothing's going to separate
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you from my love. I love you, but I love you enough to correct you.
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Children, don't forget that obedience is...
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Is better than sacrifice in God's eyes.
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And obeying your parents is really good practice and part of the command of God that honors him.
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You practice honoring your parents helps you honor God. He's your heavenly father.
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Don't think that you can have the relationship God intends for you to have with
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your heavenly father, with him and treat your earthly father and mother with no regard,
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with no love.
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Friends, this entire premise about Colossians 3 is about how we are going to
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be different than the world.
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And the love of God is in us, and he's telling us that we are,
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show the love of God to others.
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Parents, as you provide discipline to your children...
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You need to do it in a way that restores them to fellowship with you and with God.
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It's just not punishment for
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the sake of punishment. God doesn't ever punish you just to punish you.
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He punishes you to make you more about what he wants you to be so that you can
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live the abundant life he has promised to you.
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And that, as a parent, is what you need to do for your children.
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You need to love them enough to keep them on the straight and narrow.
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So that all of your discipline and all of your instruction is pointing towards
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the Lord and looks like how the Heavenly Father deals with His children.
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You've got to give them boundaries, and you've got to give them grace.
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And you've got to make sure that you're home.
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From father to mother and mother to children and father to children and children
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to mother and children to father, that all of those familial,
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relationships and dynamics are filled with love,
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constant and good positive communication, truth,
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and encouragement.
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Truth is the Word of God.
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Raise your children on the Word of God, and you don't have to worry whether you did it right or wrong,
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as we begin to look at colossians 3 22 through 25 we see that christ transforms,
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our work and our service it has always been a mystery to me,
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that people felt that however they acted at work was valid because that wasn't
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part of their christian walk,
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or maybe they don't say that but they're paid for eight hours and they slack
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around and honestly work five.
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Or they need a stapler, and they just go off with it.
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Or they have a different way of presenting themselves at work than they do everywhere else.
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That's not true transformation by the gospel in your life.
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You need to serve sincerely and not merely for appearances. Let's read these
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verses in 23 through 25 again.
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And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as of the Lord and not unto men.
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Know that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance,
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for ye serve the Lord Christ.
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But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done,
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and there is no respecting.
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Do you realize that when you call yourself a child of God, people are watching you all the time.
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You are a walking billboard for who God is, and you need to look different than the world.
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You are to obey sincerely, and not only when somebody's watching that you know
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or when it's going to cause you problems.
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Don't be the person that looks different at work when the boss is in the room
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than you look when the boss is gone.
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See, Christian character, who you really are, is going to be revealed when nobody's looking.
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Integrity is what we should live our life with, and it means doing what is right
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even without recognition.
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It's doing the right thing because you do the right thing.
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Everything you do should be seen as work, as service to Christ.
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Whatever you do, do with all you got. Do with all your might.
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Put your whole self in it and do it as to the Lord, not unto men.
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God has given you a job and a task to do, and it's a blessing.
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It is the means at which you are helping to raise and contribute to your family.
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But our ultimate employer, our ultimate boss, the ultimate person to whom we
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are doing service and work is the Lord.
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And when you get that in your heart,
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when you understand that cleaning the bathrooms at church is absolutely,
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as important as any other job God has for anybody, when you see that driving
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someone to the hospital is as important,
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as teaching a Sunday school class, when you understand that God has tasks for
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you to do and your job is to be glad to do it and to embrace it with everything
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you have, understanding fully,
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that God has given you this task and what you were doing is a direct reflection
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of what you think of him and how much you love him and your devotion to God.
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You want to please him. Be happy with what he's asked you to do.
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And do it. Embrace it.
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You do that, when you understand that ordinary tasks gain eternal significance,
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when you do it for Jesus, you'll have a little more pep in your step when you're doing it.
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It's not what somebody else thinks. You're not trying to keep up with the Joneses.
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You're not trying to be like the Smiths.
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You're trying to be who God called you to be and do what he's asked you to do,
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absolutely to the best of your ability.
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See, he sees and he rewards faithful service. You serve the Lord Christ.
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People may not ever pat you on the back. People may even say horrible things
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about what you're really doing.
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They may misrepresent your good deeds.
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Just don't let that be truth.
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God tells us that. You're not responsible for what people says about you.
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You're responsible about the truth of who you are and how well you have handled
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the responsibility that he has given you.
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God sees and he rewards it. He judges impartially.
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And your position and your status isn't determined because of what you have
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here or what job he's given you.
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It's about what you do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
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It's about how important he is to you. It's about how serious you take your
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job with Him. So work honestly and diligently and graciously.
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Don't have your sacred time in front of people and your secular time everywhere else.
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You are one person, a sinner saved by grace, a walking billboard of who God
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is, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for every year of your life.
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Don't get to just separate. And you shouldn't want to.
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You should want to be in the presence of the Lord all the time,
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being all he's asking you to be, doing all you can for him.
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And then let's take a look at leadership. This is where some people go really south.
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I don't know if you've ever worked with someone that was a colleague that got promoted to a boss.
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Sometimes you can't even recognize that person. Don't be that person.
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Those that are given authority those that have been placed in authority have
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been placed there by jesus and jesus understands who they are and who you are
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what needs to be done and he understands the bigger picture,
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so you are commanded as a servant to do what that master says as long as it
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is not contrary to the word of God.
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But masters are commanded to give their servants what's right and fair,
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to treat them well, to love them.
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We are to give love one to another. This is how we know we are as disciples.
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Authority is just the stewardship from God to manage and lead what God has given
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you. It belongs to him. It does not belong to you.
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This can sometimes get very skewed in churches. The church is God's.
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We are the shepherd of his flock.
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We need to show love one to another. Leadership has to be measured by justice
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and compassion and responsibility.
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Earthly authority is accountable to heavenly authority. What you do here in
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your earthly leadership isn't really about the boss in front of you or the people
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that are reporting to you.
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It's still about you and Jesus. It's about you and your relationship with him.
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It's about submitting to the mighty hand of God.
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You have a master in heaven, and if it matters to you, it matters to the master,
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but the master has final say so of all things.
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Jesus knows all things. He's all-knowing, he's all-powerful,
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and he's all-loving, and he's all-present.
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And he has a plan for you, and his commands are not suggestions.
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They are the boundaries that He has given us that we would live our lives in
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such a way that we are able to live the abundant life He has promised us.
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The power with the person has to be used with great prayer, with a lot of love
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and compassion, because you're going to answer, man or woman, to Christ.
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You need to use your authority the way God is giving it to you.
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You need to use your authority to be the best servant you can be to those with
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whom you're leading and not as a weapon of control.
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He said the servants were the greatest.
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He served and demonstrated his love.
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And in Acts 10.38, he was always going about doing good.
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So as you begin to look at this passage of Scripture and go through and read
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it and let it mull over in your head and assess how you're doing with these
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relationships, are you showing God's love one to another?
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You're going to see that Colossians 3.18-4.1 teaches us these things.
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Marriage should reflect Christ's love from the man to the woman and from the woman to the man.
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Children should reflect Christ's love and they should practice God-honoring obedience.
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Parents should nurture rather than discourage to correct out of love,
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to live by example, and to always be pointing their children to the Lord.
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Workers should serve Christ with integrity by the service they give to those,
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they owe it to, and leaders should lead under the authority of the Lord.
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Servant leaders, that's what we all need to be.
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You should act with justice and fairness. The goal isn't simply better behavior.
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Our goal is to live a life submitted to Jesus.
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So where does Christ need to transform your relationships most.
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Your marriage, your parenting, your work, how you use your authority, your friendships.
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Jesus is truly Lord, the way we treat people changes,
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because every relationship becomes an opportunity to honor Him and to give love, His love, to others.
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Remember, you are loved. Jesus loves you.
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Thank you for joining us for today's podcast. You can find quotes and scripture
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references from this episode in the show notes.
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We pray today's message has been a blessing. If it has, please consider leaving
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Your feedback helps others discover the truth of God's Word.
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You can connect with Woman at the Well Ministries through our app at watwm.org
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and on Facebook and Instagram.
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While you're there, learn more about Bible Bits, Kim's Daily Devotional,
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delivered Monday through Friday by text message, and the Bible Bit Podcast.
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Thank you for your prayers and support. Remember, Jesus loves you. You are loved.