Latest / 20 Percent Berlin Podcast / #017: Ad-free Berlin and topless water playgrounds

Transcript

#017: Ad-free Berlin and topless water playgrounds · 20 Percent Berlin Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to the 20% Berlin podcast.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: I am Maurice Frank,
0:10
one of your hosts and co-founder of the 20% Berlin newsletter
0:13
and I'm joined by
0:14
SPEAKER_01: Andrew Boakley in my kitchen.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: On the hottest day of the year I think so far, election.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how are you feeling about the weather?
0:24
SPEAKER_01: I've been inside all day, it's fine, it's cool here.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I also live in a cave-like apartment on the ground floor.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: You were just complaining about that.
0:31
Yeah,
0:32
I wish I had a balcony,
0:33
but I also wish I lived on the ground floor.
0:35
SPEAKER_01: Basically, I just want to live in a house in the suburbs of the garden.
0:39
We have two balconies,
0:41
and I have 4,000 square meters in front of America.
0:44
Okay,
0:44
yeah,
0:45
you are part of the upper middle class property owning 1%,
0:49
I guess.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: Somebody's got to screw people over.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: Right.
0:52
SPEAKER_02: What's on your mind these days, Maurice?
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: Hey, we're back after summer vacation.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: Where did you go, anyone?
0:58
SPEAKER_01: You always thought it was important to explain what this is.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
1:00
this is a podcast that accompanies the 20% Berlin
1:05
English-language newsletter for
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Berlin,
1:07
SPEAKER_01: which is a barrel of laughs if you haven't read it yet.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: It comes out Tuesday, Friday.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: It's pretty funny.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: You get to find out about what Berlin's about.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: I guess we have to apologize.
1:22
We haven't had a podcast in a while because we did a live
1:24
podcast recording and we
1:26
SPEAKER_02: had some technical errors.
1:28
SPEAKER_02: So what we did was a live podcast without the recording.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: Like a panel discussion.
1:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was a panel discussion.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: It was like fucking funnier than a panel.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: We had some great guests.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: We had Catnip.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: We had Elizabeth Rushton.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: And we had Mateos from the Next Day Berlin newsletter.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: But thanks to everyone who came.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: It was an exclusive.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Only the people who went there got to experience that.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Now we know what the problem is.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Next time, there won't be the technical.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Next time, Andrew, we'll press record.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: I pressed record.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: I just used the wrong mics.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: I forgot about the, we had a power failure.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: I forgot about that.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: That's also true.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: And it was raining until two minutes before the show.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, act of God, whatever.
2:13
SPEAKER_01: Hey, the future is bright there, Andrew.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: Today, we want to talk about a few things in the Berlin News.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, number one, what do we have?
2:22
SPEAKER_02: You want to talk about Vamble 5 Berlin, yet another, uh, lefty.
2:26
Let's collect some signatures and show that we know how to look
2:29
better than everybody else.
2:30
So what this is about is basically getting rid of most
2:34
obnoxious outdoor advertising.
2:37
It began about eight years ago when this non-profit called
2:43
Werbefrei Berlin
2:44
SPEAKER_01: collected around 35,000 signatures.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: They were all validated and counted by the government.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: And now it's come out that the Berlin parliament,
2:56
SPEAKER_01: our local legislature,
2:57
SPEAKER_01: has to actually consider the legislation that they are proposing,
3:01
SPEAKER_01: which would mean if they pass it,
3:04
SPEAKER_01: basically get rid of all giant billboards,
3:06
SPEAKER_01: all outdoor digital advertising.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: And only sort of poster-sized ads on bus stops,
3:14
SPEAKER_01: outdoor toilets,
3:14
SPEAKER_01: stuff like that would be permissible.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: And 50% of those ads would have to be for events or non-profits.
3:23
So actually what it would do is spark a large court case that
3:26
would take 8 to 10
3:28
years to finally make its way through the courts and then have
3:30
the law ruled
3:32
SPEAKER_02: unconstitutional.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: Right.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Well,
3:34
SPEAKER_01: so what's going to happen is this,
3:35
SPEAKER_01: is that the parliament will reject this proposal,
3:38
SPEAKER_01: which means it will likely go to a citywide citizens' referendum,
3:44
SPEAKER_01: which we,
3:44
SPEAKER_01: like Berliners,
3:45
SPEAKER_01: at least people with German passwords,
3:47
SPEAKER_01: will get to vote on this proposal.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: Do you want obnoxious outdoor advertising or not?
3:51
Like giant posters,
3:53
like with iPhones on them,
3:55
on the cathedral,
3:57
stuff like that.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: Was there ever an iPhone ad on the cathedral?
4:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:00
okay maybe a gal like a samsung galaxy ad i don't know what was
4:04
this is your
4:05
example was there what okay on on any building being renovated
4:09
there's like big
4:10
buildings that's usually a giant poster ad for like vault or
4:14
uber needs or some
4:15
phone company right some people don't like that andrew yeah
4:19
that's some things i
4:20
SPEAKER_01: don't like either just ban everything you don't like yeah
4:24
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm kind of with you on this.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: I think it is kind of a waste of time.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: There's other issues out there.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: It does remind me a little bit of car-free Berlin,
4:33
SPEAKER_01: Berlin autofrein,
4:34
SPEAKER_01: in that it's sort of pie in the sky,
4:36
SPEAKER_01: like it's never going to happen.
4:37
But I almost think this is more likely to have success than the
4:42
car-free Berlin
4:44
SPEAKER_01: campaign,
4:45
SPEAKER_01: which is proposing basically getting rid of cars within the ring realm.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: I like the car-free thing.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Cars are basically the white men of Berlin.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: There's also white men in Berlin.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: You could take away 10% of cars' privileges in Berlin.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: You could take away 10% of white men's privileges in Berlin.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Neither would notice.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: Because they have so many advantages.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: They have so many privileges.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Well, isn't outdoor advertising also the white menopause?
5:15
The only outdoor advertising I care about is when these greedy
5:18
landlords put up
5:18
SPEAKER_02: those huge billboards on a building that maybe is being renovated,
5:20
SPEAKER_02: but it's still lived in,
5:22
SPEAKER_02: and the people living in it can no longer see out.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: That should be banned.
5:25
Right,
5:26
and those landlords are getting like 5,000 euros a week just to
5:29
have it.
5:30
It actually happened here while me on the corner at Danziger
5:33
and Rieke Schrasse,
5:34
SPEAKER_02: they put up a big for the new...
5:38
was that me with the minions what is those movies oh yeah
5:41
impossible me whatever
5:43
yeah so then they they put that up there that the uh paco said
5:47
either you remove it
5:48
or we will remove it in charge of it it was gone in a couple
5:50
days and so like that
5:51
stuff i hate that stuff but the rest of it's just like it's
5:55
what's living in it i
5:56
mean that's what we live in the city is it's just ass fun fact
6:00
my ex-wife's sister
6:01
SPEAKER_01: is the producer of those movies okay
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, lives in LA?
6:04
SPEAKER_02: No, no, Paris.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Continue.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: How is she the producer of those movies that are produced?
6:08
SPEAKER_01: Is there a maid in Paris?
6:10
SPEAKER_02: Uh, anyway, so she's rich and your ex-wife is just a pain in the ass?
6:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh, are you going to edit that out?
6:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay, Andrew, what were you saying?
6:17
SPEAKER_02: I don't have a problem saying that.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: I think that's a pretty open, uh, secret in Berlin.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God.
6:24
SPEAKER_02: Andrew, what were you saying?
6:25
SPEAKER_02: Your ex-wife.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: No, like before that.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and there's so many ads, you don't even see them anymore, you know?
6:32
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know, but I mean...
6:34
SPEAKER_01: Like,
6:34
SPEAKER_01: I don't know,
6:34
SPEAKER_01: will there,
6:35
it'll be like a drop in GDP if we ban ads or they're going to
6:40
be like 300 people
6:40
SPEAKER_01: out of work,
6:41
SPEAKER_01: people who work,
6:42
SPEAKER_01: like the people who stick up,
6:43
SPEAKER_01: hang the posters,
6:44
like those industrial climber guys who hang giant posters off
6:48
of buildings,
6:49
SPEAKER_01: some graphic designers,
6:51
SPEAKER_01: some printers maybe.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: I just feel like, you know, just don't bug people, we're fine.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: The thing is,
6:57
SPEAKER_01: once you start like banning anything that greedy people make money on,
7:00
SPEAKER_01: you know,
7:01
SPEAKER_01: it's a slippery slope.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, you can't buy a tank.
7:05
SPEAKER_02: You can't buy a tank?
7:06
SPEAKER_02: You, Maurice, cannot buy a tank.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, as far as I think you should also ban SUVs, ban ugly nails.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: You know, here's the truth.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: Ban cosmetic surgery.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
7:17
The truth is,
7:17
I was kind of like,
7:18
yeah,
7:18
maybe this ban,
7:19
that sounds all right.
7:19
And then comes the thing of like,
7:21
and 50% of the ads have to be for charitable.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: You just think like, get over yourself.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: They're throwing a bone to the ad industry.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: No, it was like, it had to be charitable.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: It's like, they're not throwing a bone to the ad industry.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: They're like trying to get free advertising.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: Well,
7:34
SPEAKER_01: look,
7:35
SPEAKER_01: none of these things ever pass,
7:36
SPEAKER_01: except the only one that ever passed was the Tempelhof one.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: Now they're trying to overturn that.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: You're in favor of that.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm in favor of that, because I think we just pave it over, man.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: Pave it over,
7:46
SPEAKER_01: build some high-rise,
7:47
SPEAKER_01: like a lot of high-rise hotels and luxury flats,
7:50
SPEAKER_01: and then like a ton of cheap social housing to complement it.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that won't happen.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: No, I know.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Fun fact, Tempelhof is almost exactly the same size as Central Park.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, let's get rid of it.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: Let's make sure we pave over that.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: Let's get rid of anything that makes it new Berlin.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: A little bit.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: Central Park is, like, surrounded by skyscrapers.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: Like, surround Templehof with skyscrapers.
8:11
SPEAKER_02: But it's there.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah?
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, I don't know.
8:12
We're not allowed to build skyscrapers in Berlin because of the
8:15
Berlinertshaus.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: You're only allowed to have five-story buildings.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Except in some locations.
8:20
yes apparently yeah that can be changed apparently not moving
8:25
on what else is on
8:26
the agenda andrew so no so no no new year's party at the brown
8:31
and brigade there's
8:32
this crazy party at brown and brigade with pop stars that
8:35
nobody except germans and
8:36
mid-sized german towns have ever heard of helena fisher all
8:39
right i was trying to
8:41
SPEAKER_02: make a joke but it's not true uh
8:44
SPEAKER_02: Guenino was there once.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so there's this big part there.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: It ends with fireworks.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: It's carried live on ZAF.
8:51
The thing is,
8:52
it was apparently subsidized like hundreds of thousands of
8:54
euros.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Berlin gave hundreds of thousands of euros to this thing.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: And if you ever went down there,
8:59
SPEAKER_02: the entire Parisa Platz,
9:01
SPEAKER_02: Prairie Square,
9:02
SPEAKER_02: behind the Brandenburg Gate,
9:03
SPEAKER_02: depending on your geological perception of the Brandenburg Gate,
9:07
SPEAKER_02: it's closed off of the backstage area.
9:09
SPEAKER_02: There's like a VIP, what's that called?
9:12
SPEAKER_02: Tribuna VIP seats.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Like it's a big deal.
9:14
SPEAKER_02: Like a big thing.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Because they get hundreds of thousands from Berlin plus.
9:18
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what a ticket costs.
9:19
SPEAKER_02: 30 bucks, 40 bucks.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: Isn't it free?
9:22
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: You have to buy a ticket.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: This is the thing.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: Why do we subsidize it if there's a ticket?
9:26
SPEAKER_01: We just increase.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, this is exactly so.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Raise the ticket price.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: So now Berlin, we're short 3 million, 3 billion.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: We had about 5, 3 billion.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: Then three months later, we passed a record budget with record deficits.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: And then Kai Wegner said, this is all Berlin.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying we were out of money.
9:45
SPEAKER_02: Now we've got more money than ever at Berlin.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Now Kai Wegner says, it's not Berlin's job to subsidize a show like that.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: Are there any subsidizing to the tune of a few hundred thousand?
9:54
SPEAKER_02: This is what I think.
9:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm usually on Kai Wendner's side of this thing,
9:57
SPEAKER_02: but I think Berlin has such bad press in Germany.
10:01
SPEAKER_02: It's just negative what's about Berlin.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: Finally, we have something positive.
10:05
SPEAKER_02: Everybody watches this thing that happens in Berlin.
10:07
There's tens of thousands of people doing selfies with the
10:10
Brandenburg Gate in the background.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: Like I finally think like,
10:12
SPEAKER_02: you know,
10:13
SPEAKER_02: maybe that's what,
10:14
SPEAKER_02: you know,
10:14
maybe don't put these dumb posters all over Germany advertising
10:17
Berlin with cute
10:18
SPEAKER_02: sayings.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: You know, the same kind of sayings we have on our trash cans here.
10:22
SPEAKER_02: Berlin seems to be like a factory of cute sayings.
10:24
SPEAKER_02: Berlin was producing memes before there were memes.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm about sexy.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: All that stuff.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, Boverite said that.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: But that was a meme.
10:34
But these things of like,
10:36
in Berlin,
10:36
you can be somebody and nobody at the same time.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: Whatever these little sayings are that they've got on posters.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: And when I'm on tour around Germany, I see them all the time.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: I just think, who cares?
10:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think take that money and put it into this event.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And then that will go viral by itself.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know about that.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm not worried about the viral.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: People post stuff about it like crazy.
10:52
Just a nice New Year's party where Berlin gets a good image and
10:54
it only costs you,
10:55
SPEAKER_02: you know,
10:55
SPEAKER_02: 100,000 to a city is pocket change.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: So wait, the organizer or the promoter has canceled it?
11:01
SPEAKER_01: He canceled it.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you know what I think is going to happen?
11:04
SPEAKER_01: I think there's going to be some behind-the-scenes deals.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: He's going to go ahead with it anyway.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: In October, he's going to announce he's going to do it anyway.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: Double the ticket price of BMW as a sponsor.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: I think he tried that.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: What's going to happen?
11:18
SPEAKER_02: This discussion was already going on for a while.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: He said, I need to know now because I have to plan this thing.
11:23
SPEAKER_02: He already made that threat, it seems like.
11:25
SPEAKER_02: I remember with you, usually that's what happens.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: What else is he going to do?
11:29
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: I think it's Deutschland Entertainment AG.
11:32
SPEAKER_02: I think that's the company that does it.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: Okay, they have some other... Yeah, they do big things.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: I think they do those... I don't know who does those.
11:39
I think it's Stage who does those musicals in Hamburg,
11:40
which I still don't understand.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: Who's going to Hamburg to see a musical in German?
11:45
SPEAKER_02: An American musical.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: People from Lübeck.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: I like Lübeck.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Everywhere...
11:49
SPEAKER_01: here is more provincial than, you know, everywhere in Germany.
11:54
SPEAKER_02: Take a ferry across the Elbe River and watch a musical.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: Man.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: I was wondering about this.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like the Blue Man Group.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: Why would you pay money to see that?
12:03
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever met somebody from the Blue Man Group?
12:05
SPEAKER_01: Um, I heard, I met somebody who dated Blue Man.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: And she had a blue?
12:09
SPEAKER_01: Nope.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: The joke is right there.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: What's the joke?
12:14
SPEAKER_02: She constantly had blue around her mouth.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she had the blues and they broke up.
12:19
SPEAKER_02: There's these jobs in Berlin.
12:21
One of those tour boat captains,
12:23
those dudes who drive those boats on the spray.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:26
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever met one of those guys?
12:27
SPEAKER_02: I kind of wish I'd been one of those.
12:29
SPEAKER_02: But have you ever met one of them?
12:30
SPEAKER_02: No.
12:30
You would think that after you lived here for years,
12:32
you would meet one of these people.
12:35
SPEAKER_02: I did crowd work one night.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: There was a guy who worked at the BMW Motorcycle Factory.
12:38
SPEAKER_02: I felt it was the same way.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: I was like, wow, you were like a leprechaun.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
12:42
We live in this ridiculous bubble of ex-cats,
12:45
web developers,
12:46
and layabouts.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't think you're detail-oriented enough to be a tour guide captain.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Me?
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: No, wait, just... No, no, not the tour guide, but the actual captain.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: The guy driving.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: The guy driving a boat.
12:58
You would forget to put the little thing down going under one
13:00
of the low bridges.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: I went sailing this summer in the treacherous seas of Scandinavia.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: You're out in the open water.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about like you're cruising this boat down the thing.
13:12
Sometimes you have to lower the cabin because the bridges are
13:15
so,
13:15
have you been on one?
13:15
SPEAKER_02: There are these crazy cabins that lower because the bridges are so low.
13:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: I almost died one day.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm too tall for the.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: And you would just be standing there talking to somebody,
13:24
SPEAKER_02: your ex-wife,
13:24
SPEAKER_02: for example,
13:25
SPEAKER_02: you would be fighting with your ex-wife and then you'd be like,
13:27
SPEAKER_02: oh shit,
13:28
SPEAKER_02: here's the bridge and he took
13:29
SPEAKER_02: When I'm out at sea, I'm very focused.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: This is my point.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: There is no sea in Berlin.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: You're on a river.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: You're on a canal.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: You take us.
13:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm not that aggressive.
13:38
I'm just pointing out I don't think that that's a realistic
13:41
career for you.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:42
I mean,
13:42
there's only,
13:43
you know,
13:44
once I met somebody who works at a Google data center.
13:47
SPEAKER_01: See?
13:48
SPEAKER_01: He just sits around in the Google data center.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: He couldn't tell me where it was.
13:52
How many jobs are there realistically where people actually
13:54
work eight hours a day?
13:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
13:56
SPEAKER_01: just imagine being one of those industrial climbers that hangs,
14:00
SPEAKER_01: like,
14:00
SPEAKER_01: telecom ads on the TV tower.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's crazy.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: Do you do that eight hours straight?
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Their office actually used to be right on the street.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: I kind of missed them.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: Navraki urban climbers or something.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
14:10
I think they,
14:11
though,
14:11
they're definitely lobbying against Berlin Web of course.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: But, yeah, office jobs.
14:18
Does anybody who has an office,
14:20
honestly,
14:20
like,
14:20
you're working two hours tops.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: The rest of the time, looking at Reddit, reading our newsletter.
14:26
hopefully i don't know too much time in the bathroom yeah
14:29
you're not in the office
14:30
you're at home anyway yeah i have nobody yeah i'm so shocked
14:33
every time i because i
14:34
have to do these why i have to your chat you're like you're
14:36
asking chat gpt how to
14:38
do your job yeah but like i do these corporate films and stuff
14:41
sometimes the office
14:43
is so empty now every office empty corporate films you yeah
14:47
with that haircut yeah
14:48
SPEAKER_02: yeah that's exactly really yeah do you wear that red sweater
14:51
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what happened to the red sweater.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if Holger came in my apartment and stole it.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
14:57
SPEAKER_01: You're in a corporate movie for what?
15:00
SPEAKER_01: Like Duskman or something?
15:02
SPEAKER_02: No, I think I have to sign NDAs.
15:05
SPEAKER_02: You can't say what it's for.
15:06
SPEAKER_02: A medical equipment company.
15:08
They had a photo database that just did not work like so many
15:13
databases and
15:13
SPEAKER_02: companies and they replaced it with a new one that didn't work.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: So I was like, it was like,
15:18
SPEAKER_02: It was like that mockumentary style.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: Like they were interviewing me about how bad this photo thing was.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: And then suddenly they get the new one in like.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: Like it's a video for internal use.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: In German.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: In German.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: That's hilarious.
15:29
SPEAKER_02: But every time.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: And then like I did a gig at a certain.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: Can I just get an AI to do that?
15:33
SPEAKER_02: Another one.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: AI replicant.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: You can.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: It's not that good anymore.
15:38
SPEAKER_02: Anyway,
15:38
SPEAKER_02: then I did a comedy gig at a car factory,
15:40
SPEAKER_02: which I decided in India about that,
15:41
SPEAKER_02: so I can't really talk about which car factory.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: The one that begins with tea?
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Also empty.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Can't say.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: Also empty.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, you go in there, and you're like, wow, this is empty.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: The person who's like your guy,
15:49
SPEAKER_02: and he's like,
15:50
SPEAKER_02: yeah,
15:50
SPEAKER_02: yeah,
15:50
SPEAKER_02: no,
15:50
SPEAKER_02: everybody,
15:51
SPEAKER_02: you know,
15:51
SPEAKER_02: they repeat a lot of good work from home.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: But they're all coming back.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: They're all coming back.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: You're like, dude, nobody's coming back.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: This is a desert of monitors.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: Right.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: Every one of them, there was nobody there.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: They were like bored lunch women.
16:03
So that's why there's not going to be a New Year's party at the
16:06
Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.
16:07
SPEAKER_01: Okay,
16:07
SPEAKER_01: well,
16:07
how does this news sort of intersect with the news that maybe
16:12
we're going to get a
16:13
SPEAKER_01: fire rod ban?
16:14
SPEAKER_02: I don't think that's off the table.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Like,
16:18
SPEAKER_01: you think if you can't set off your own fireworks,
16:20
there should be more public firework displays where people can
16:24
pay some money and
16:25
SPEAKER_01: enjoy fireworks without having to set them off themselves.
16:29
Now,
16:29
they might be tempted to go to Poland and buy some illegal
16:32
fireworks.
16:32
SPEAKER_02: I read a really interesting article.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: The ban,
16:34
SPEAKER_01: not that the ban is actually coming,
16:36
SPEAKER_01: but...
16:36
SPEAKER_02: And the New York Times said,
16:37
SPEAKER_02: like,
16:37
these fireworks that you can get in Poland are a problem in the
16:40
Netherlands now.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: Like,
16:42
SPEAKER_02: explosions,
16:43
SPEAKER_02: like setting up bombs near people you don't like,
16:46
SPEAKER_02: it's,
16:46
SPEAKER_02: like,
16:46
SPEAKER_02: part of Dutch culture now.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, we could set off a bomb at your ex-wife's house.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: Let's not bring her up again.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: I saw it in India.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, see?
16:54
SPEAKER_02: Same thing.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: Is that the ex-wife that starts with an N?
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, God.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh, my God.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm not thinking it tricks what.
17:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm one of the two people in Berlin.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: I'm not thinking it tricks what.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not.
17:08
SPEAKER_01: Didn't you miss this podcast?
17:09
SPEAKER_01: You can just trash me and my exes.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: I like the exes.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: It's plural.
17:15
A very good point that you made that I did not is there were
17:17
fireworks at this New Year's thing.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: There's a big public...
17:20
SPEAKER_02: Fireworks displays.
17:21
SPEAKER_02: I admit, I never got anything from these things.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: I never understood fireworks.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: I understood setting it off myself.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: I never saw these things.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: But if you're pro-fireworks, you kind of need to be for those fireworks.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: You know, I pivoted to being anti-firework.
17:33
And I feel like maybe the foxes of Tiergarten and the birds of
17:36
Tiergarten,
17:37
SPEAKER_01: the rodents of Tiergarten,
17:38
SPEAKER_01: they're happy about this.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: My cat.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because of that one.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, the fireworks, where do they set them off there even?
17:44
SPEAKER_01: At the Zegasolder?
17:45
SPEAKER_02: I think at the Zegasolder.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: Shouldn't we?
17:49
SPEAKER_01: It is, the fireworks are pretty dumb.
17:50
Like,
17:51
oh,
17:51
it's something that makes a funny sound and it makes bright
17:54
lights.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: I guess it goes back to our reptile brains as well.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of reptile brains, there is no air conditioning on the Ubon.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: Sure ain't, man.
18:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm avoiding it like the plague.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: You know,
18:05
I very rarely have to take the subway because of some events
18:08
that are coming up
18:09
SPEAKER_02: that I cannot yet talk about.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: I took it again.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: And NDAs in the comedy scene?
18:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:16
SPEAKER_02: Riding the subway in Berlin is part of the Berlin experience.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: And I used to ride the subway so much.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: We didn't work in houses, but I worked in them as well.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: I guess when we were at Berlin at Zeitum, did you ever think?
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I took it down there, yeah.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: I must have taken it.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: There's no way I did not not take it.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: The rickety old U2.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: I can't remember which one I took.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you would have had to get off at Klosterstraße, huh?
18:34
SPEAKER_02: No, like the next one, Markt or whatever it is.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: Spittelmarkt.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: Spittelmarkt.
18:39
SPEAKER_02: No, it was the museum.
18:40
SPEAKER_02: I'd get out of Spittelmarkt.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe I did.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: I don't remember.
18:44
SPEAKER_02: I had to have taken it.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: And...
18:46
Because I work at home or I'm doing comedy,
18:48
I don't really take the U-Bahn anymore.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I take it in the winter when I can't ride my bike.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: The U2 is still the worst subway.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:56
That's some refreshing take after all the crap that the UAF has
19:01
been getting.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: The U-Aktu is just a nightmare culture.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, it's just where the belly of, it's the asshole of Berlin, really.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Right.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: Where all the mess just gets crouched together.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: Like a big intestine, large intestine.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, it connects like a bunch of important neighborhoods.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Whereas the U-Zwai is just the world's slowest U-Bahn.
19:18
Half of those stops in Mitta,
19:19
we can just do,
19:20
nobody gets on,
19:20
nobody gets off.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:22
SPEAKER_02: America's just a museum,
19:23
SPEAKER_02: except for me getting off to go to Berlin outside,
19:24
SPEAKER_02: and nobody gets off there.
19:26
SPEAKER_02: It's true.
19:26
SPEAKER_02: There is no reason.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: And now, historically.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: And it's like really shaky, too.
19:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just a nightmare.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: No AC.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: And you know why none of the ubans have AC?
19:33
SPEAKER_01: This is actually why... The tools are really low.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: This is why... So they can't install AC on the roof.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the only place you could put the AC.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: This thing, I guess you don't look at social media.
19:43
Every city that has a subway has exactly this thing on social
19:47
media at the moment.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: There's no... Same thing in London.
19:50
okay even though the one even though the tube like comes above
19:52
ground at certain
19:53
points the thing's like an element yeah i mean it's also the
19:56
ceilings are even
19:57
lower i mean can you imagine me and the tube like especially
19:59
the northern line
20:00
where it's like this actual tube but there has to be as likely
20:04
this is 2025 we all
20:06
just we go oh that's oh that's so true yeah that's true there
20:09
yeah so there's they
20:10
SPEAKER_02: can't put air conditioning up i'm sure that's true
20:12
I mean,
20:13
they have to make the tunnels higher or the trains lower or
20:16
just redesign the train.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: I think you could add an AC and air conditioning car, you know?
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Or just pipe it through the whole train.
20:22
I mean,
20:23
S-Bahn also,
20:24
for the most part,
20:25
doesn't have it,
20:26
except for the rigging bomb.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: I was in a regional train.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's saying the regionals are like S-Bahn's or ground.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: In the bottom of the road back, it was like, it was cold.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: It was like standing in the dairy aisle of an American supermarket.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: That's funny.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they'll have the AC on,
20:42
SPEAKER_01: but then there's some rule that you're not supposed to use it too much.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: It can only be like three degrees lower than the outside temperature.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: It's just like in the trams especially.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: If they have AC there, they just use it a tiny bit.
20:59
you could knock out the entire German population with a solid
21:02
air conditioner.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: They all get the sniffles.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: The second, it's like three degrees below.
21:06
SPEAKER_02: The other thing, air conditioning, it's not just cold, it's also dry.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: And it's a trick of air conditioning.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean,
21:11
SPEAKER_01: when I used to visit the United States,
21:13
SPEAKER_01: you know,
21:14
SPEAKER_01: Germans would always say,
21:15
SPEAKER_01: you should need to pack a sweater if you go to the movie theater.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: Which is true.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Because it's like,
21:20
SPEAKER_01: it is like a walk-in,
21:21
SPEAKER_01: one of those walk-in coolers in a restaurant kitchen,
21:24
SPEAKER_01: you know,
21:24
SPEAKER_01: when you go in there.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: You're just making, it's, I love that.
21:28
It's a lot outside,
21:29
then you walk in there and it's just like,
21:31
comfortable.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: No, you're freezing.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: It's all right.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: Like, you're wearing like a tank top and this bathing suit outside.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: And then you're like,
21:39
SPEAKER_01: You're physically like getting pneumonia, like in your own sweat.
21:42
This regional was so cold that I intentionally,
21:44
I'm like,
21:44
I'm not going to put my sweatshirt on.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm just going to sit here and get too cold because it's too hot out.
21:49
So I'm going to have an extra five minutes of feeling like a
21:52
human before I become a
21:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm surprised you don't have an ice maker on your fridge.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you guys from America, you need ice to fuel.
21:59
SPEAKER_02: We were going to get the big,
22:01
SPEAKER_02: we actually wanted the big double door refrigerator,
22:04
SPEAKER_02: but then we looked at how much energy it uses,
22:05
SPEAKER_02: and so we did.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: I could hook up an ice maker with that thing, actually.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: See, that's it.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: Like,
22:09
SPEAKER_01: strict German energy taxes,
22:13
SPEAKER_01: like,
22:13
SPEAKER_01: preventing Andrew,
22:15
SPEAKER_01: the decadent American,
22:16
SPEAKER_01: for,
22:16
SPEAKER_01: like,
22:16
SPEAKER_01: wasting energy on ice.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to do with taxes, it just has to do with energy.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, not high energy prices because of energy taxes.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: It was more about the energy usage than that.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: So actually, that was just your spa, folks, German side.
22:28
SPEAKER_02: There it was, my spa inside.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: We're running out of time.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: Really?
22:33
SPEAKER_02: What?
22:34
SPEAKER_02: Look, I just got here.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: Do you want to do the fourth one?
22:36
SPEAKER_02: Are we going to be a little bit long today?
22:38
SPEAKER_01: What's the fourth one?
22:39
SPEAKER_02: So,
22:41
SPEAKER_02: this was a bit falsely reported by the Berlin media,
22:44
SPEAKER_02: that Schwarzsauer,
22:45
SPEAKER_02: one of my favorite,
22:46
SPEAKER_02: probably my favorite,
22:47
SPEAKER_02: like if you did the math on it,
22:49
like how much time this bar spent at my number one in my whole
22:53
time here in Berlin,
22:54
SPEAKER_02: probably my favorite bar in Berlin,
22:56
SPEAKER_02: Schwarzsauer und Kastaneinalei.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: The media reported as this guy sued Schwarzauer,
23:02
SPEAKER_02: one,
23:02
SPEAKER_02: sued people,
23:03
SPEAKER_02: he sued the bar and said people cannot be out on the sidewalk in front of
23:07
SPEAKER_02: Schwarzauer after 10 p.m.
23:08
SPEAKER_02: That is not actually what happened.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: He actually sued the Patsy Exempt.
23:14
SPEAKER_02: He sued the neighborhood,
23:15
SPEAKER_02: said the neighborhood has to enforce the existing noise regulations,
23:18
SPEAKER_02: which does not allow bars to have people on the patio after 10 p.m.
23:22
SPEAKER_02: And it just so happened that Schwarzauer joined the lawsuit with the
23:26
neighborhood because they have a good lawyer and want that is
23:29
the only way to get
23:30
something enforced and well it is to basically sue the
23:33
authorities i'm actually
23:34
going to turn in my citizenship application i think next week
23:37
and i'm so looking
23:38
forward to suing berlin because they're not of action can you
23:41
sue them oh wait i'm
23:43
suing them because they're not quick enough yeah and actually i
23:45
should have done
23:45
this with my kids uh driver's licenses and regret it so much
23:49
that i'm looking
23:50
SPEAKER_02: forward to suing in this time
23:51
SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be German to sue.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: No.
23:54
SPEAKER_01: Why?
23:55
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: It's just government interaction.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: Right, right, right.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's kind of like this.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: There was this guy who I hate, even though I've never met him.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: He was going around in Slowerberg,
24:05
like maybe suing the Ordnungsamt for not enforcing Sunday
24:10
grocery sales in
24:11
SPEAKER_01: Spirties.
24:13
Like you're not,
24:14
Spirties can be open on Sunday,
24:15
but they're not allowed to sell groceries.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't think they even can in town hall.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: But I know they... No, some of them still do, actually.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: But for a while, this guy was terrorizing the spitties.
24:24
And there was like one spittie near me where they had like a
24:26
curtain that went down
24:28
SPEAKER_01: over the groceries.
24:29
But then they would just let you take stuff from behind the
24:30
curtain anyway.
24:32
SPEAKER_02: That's how all of them are.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: There's actually an organic grocery store here that's also a bakery.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: I know.
24:37
SPEAKER_02: And that's what they do.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: They have a curtain that's across the grocery store.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: So you'll have to go behind the curtain.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't know.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: I mean, they're kind of dicks, so yeah, it's not an idea.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but that's the thing in Berlin.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: It's like these rules, but they're just, you know, recommended.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Andrew, I just noticed Andrew has a cup.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: It says city and state of Berlin.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: What the hell is that all about?
24:59
SPEAKER_01: Berlin's a Stadtstadt.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: Did you make that cup?
25:02
SPEAKER_02: I did, and that's actually the same.
25:03
SPEAKER_02: You know how it's the city and county of Denver?
25:06
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: This is the exact same design that's on the trash cans.
25:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:10
SPEAKER_02: So that was such a fabulous design.
25:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: The trash cans had never looked really great.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: It's like a copy to a city and state of Berlin.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh, so anyway, so he sued.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: So I kind of see his point.
25:20
His point,
25:21
this guy's point was the people sitting outside just exploded
25:24
after Corona.
25:25
SPEAKER_02: He's sick of it.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: And you cannot use the argument that, oh, he just moved here.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: He's lived in the building since 1990.
25:29
SPEAKER_02: So he sort of moved here, but.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: He just got old.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: He just got old.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: And I see his point a little bit.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: And then I was thinking about the other day,
25:34
there's actually a beer garden right around the corner where
25:36
you could sit there
25:37
SPEAKER_02: and tell.
25:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't like the beer garden anymore.
25:39
SPEAKER_02: It used to be a great beer garden.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: My number one beer garden, much in the way Strata was my number one bar.
25:43
SPEAKER_02: Now I trust him.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: From Prata?
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: You know what I hate about them?
25:46
SPEAKER_01: There's three different queues to get a drink.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: But you have to get a queue to get your font back,
25:52
SPEAKER_01: then you have to pick up your drink,
25:54
SPEAKER_01: and then you have to queue again to pay for the drink.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: Is that how it is now?
25:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, it's expensive, too.
26:01
SPEAKER_02: It's just dumb.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: It used to be fun.
26:03
SPEAKER_02: Now it's just, eh.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: But so, I don't know.
26:05
SPEAKER_02: I guess, like, you don't want to be, but also, it's Kastanian.
26:08
SPEAKER_02: Like, Eberswalder Straße, the U-Bahn, is right around the corner.
26:12
SPEAKER_02: That's just chaos.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: That's anarchy.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: You should be glad it's not that loud where you live.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I live in the boring armpit of Prenzfalver.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: I went to a concert in Trinobank last night.
26:20
SPEAKER_02: Right.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: It's so much more urban than where we live.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: It's so much nicer.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: I was like, maybe I should move.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: What's urban about it?
26:29
SPEAKER_02: We went to the grocery store like midnight.
26:31
SPEAKER_02: What?
26:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:32
SPEAKER_02: It was like people were doing their,
26:33
people we were at the concert with were suddenly doing their
26:35
like weekly shopping.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: What was the concert?
26:38
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: Sophie Ellison or something.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: We just were like, we were trying to go to more concerts.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
26:44
SPEAKER_02: Sophia Ellison.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: Hey, you're best dangerous, man.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: So are you.
26:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:49
I don't know what the...
26:52
It was funny because it was like a woman's singer.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: It was all mostly 22-year-old women.
26:59
SPEAKER_02: More power to them.
27:00
SPEAKER_02: It was great.
27:01
SPEAKER_02: It's like a safe space for them.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: She even said at one point,
27:03
SPEAKER_02: she's like,
27:03
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe the number of grown men that come to my concert.
27:06
SPEAKER_02: And she wasn't critical about it.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: She just laughed about it.
27:08
And then I wanted to say,
27:09
well,
27:10
half of them are fathers from women who wanted to see you.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: And then my wife brought me here.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: It was good.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: It was nice.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: Metropole Theater, horrible concert venue.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: Uh, isn't the, I wonder if the venue like vaguely Nazi or something.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: It was some sketchy security.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: And it was a horrible concert venue.
27:27
SPEAKER_02: It was supposed to be here in France, which is right over there.
27:28
SPEAKER_02: But that was the idea was we could just walk down there.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
27:31
SPEAKER_02: So anyways, but I just was surprised at how urban Strindbeck fathoms.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so sweaty Urbans here to stay.
27:36
Well,
27:36
yeah,
27:36
fun fact,
27:37
every bus is allegedly...
27:40
We had moved on to Schwarzauer.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: Every bus.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: We moved on to Schwarzauer.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: I know.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Schwarzauer is not air-conditioned either, and it's really smoky.
27:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's why we don't go there.
27:49
SPEAKER_01: That's why I don't really go there.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: You know,
27:51
SPEAKER_01: I used to go there in my first two,
27:54
SPEAKER_01: three years in Berlin when I worked at Deutsche Welle,
27:57
SPEAKER_01: like every second expat of our generation.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: And like after the shift, ended at like 12 or 1.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: Schwarzau.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's best.
28:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:06
SPEAKER_01: All right.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: So on to the final and last category of our podcast.
28:11
SPEAKER_02: What's it called?
28:12
SPEAKER_02: I can't think of English anymore.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: It's called the Bear's Knees.
28:24
two things we like about berlin because we spend so much time
28:27
complaining about
28:27
berlin what's your bear's knees this week i'm sorry to say but
28:30
it is child related
28:31
and um i'm i'm kind of like in this like zoma like this sort of
28:38
terrain vague uh
28:41
this sort of sort of like nondescript was that a french was
28:44
that a frenchism
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Was that something your ex-wife almost said?
28:47
SPEAKER_01: My name is Maurice, you know, I can say French stuff.
28:52
It's like a sort of no man's land between the end of the quita
28:56
season and the
28:57
SPEAKER_01: beginning of first grade for my son.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: So there's no quita, there's no school.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: And me and my kids, man, we are just roaming town.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: So is your bear's knees your children?
29:09
SPEAKER_01: No.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: And we went to...
29:11
SPEAKER_01: We went to the Planche in Plentalwald.
29:15
It's like this outdoor water playground with showers and
29:20
fountains and sprinklers
29:22
SPEAKER_01: and stuff where children can run around hysterically.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: They run around making it.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: You know,
29:28
SPEAKER_01: that's the funny thing,
29:28
SPEAKER_01: you know,
29:29
SPEAKER_01: you'd think they'd be naked,
29:30
SPEAKER_01: but actually my son was the only one that was naked.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: The German anything's going away.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: It really is.
29:35
And,
29:35
you know,
29:36
me like the Anglo-Saxon irony of ironies as the naked child.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, basically he is underwear.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: I got wet.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry to take off.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
29:44
SPEAKER_01: well,
29:44
SPEAKER_01: you know,
29:44
SPEAKER_01: the fun thing about that plancha,
29:47
SPEAKER_01: that was where,
29:48
SPEAKER_01: what,
29:49
SPEAKER_01: two,
29:49
SPEAKER_01: three years ago,
29:49
SPEAKER_01: a French woman was arrested,
29:52
SPEAKER_01: or at least fined,
29:53
SPEAKER_01: per sunbathing topless.
29:56
SPEAKER_01: Was she fined, or she was just asked to leave?
29:58
SPEAKER_01: Asked to leave, right.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: I didn't notice her this time.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: I haven't seen anybody sunbathing topless in years.
30:04
And then you need to go to,
30:06
like,
30:06
certain corners of fights back,
30:07
like Victoria Park.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: You might see some naked folks.
30:11
SPEAKER_02: Do you know back,
30:12
SPEAKER_02: remember when the,
30:12
SPEAKER_02: where the Humboldt Forum is now,
30:14
SPEAKER_02: there was just a big grass field?
30:15
SPEAKER_02: It was just grass for a couple of years?
30:17
SPEAKER_02: Humboldt Forum, yeah.
30:18
SPEAKER_02: The palace that it probably could be, to be honest, what it was.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: There were people someday they knew there, back in the day.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I almost felt like, again, my son was naked.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: I almost felt like it was weird for him to be doing it.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: I mean, in Berlin, I don't know.
30:30
SPEAKER_01: Times, they are changing.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
30:33
SPEAKER_02: My bare knees, I'm just going to go with... I know, it's really great.
30:35
I'm just going to go with the New York Times this week and say
30:37
the English comedy
30:39
SPEAKER_02: scene in Berlin.
30:40
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
30:40
I think,
30:41
like,
30:41
if people go to a lot of shows,
30:42
they get tired of the same jokes.
30:43
SPEAKER_02: I think there are a lot of questionable quality comedy in Berlin,
30:48
SPEAKER_02: but overall,
30:49
it's a pretty crazy scene where you can get a lot of stage time
30:53
with actual
30:54
SPEAKER_02: audiences,
30:55
and it's already starting to draw comedians from America and
30:58
London who are moving
30:59
SPEAKER_02: here and then trying,
31:01
SPEAKER_02: like,
31:02
SPEAKER_02: they haven't broken through yet,
31:03
and they come here to just kind of perform and wait till
31:06
they've broken through,
31:07
SPEAKER_02: and they probably,
31:07
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if they go back and live here,
31:09
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: I thought...
31:10
SPEAKER_02: But that's already happening.
31:11
SPEAKER_02: Like, there's some big names here now.
31:13
SPEAKER_02: Like Andrew Bulkley.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: Well, Drew Portnoy.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't know how big he is, but he's big on the German scene.
31:17
SPEAKER_02: It's the problem.
31:18
SPEAKER_02: He needs to do more English.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:21
Is there a website where you can find out about English comedy
31:24
shows,
31:25
Andrew?
31:26
SPEAKER_02: Comedy in Berlin.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Can you name, drop some names?
31:33
SPEAKER_01: I don't like dropping names because it...
31:34
Because you know all of them and won't be offended if they
31:37
weren't dropped.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, and I feel bad for the ones I forget.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: Can I name one?
31:41
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: Like Catnip, who was on that podcast.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: For example.
31:44
I'm actually,
31:45
because I'm trying to do more English shows,
31:46
I'm doing a show.
31:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm doing her show Saturday at The Wall at 9.15.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean you're doing her show?
31:52
SPEAKER_02: It's her show.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: You're emceeing?
31:54
SPEAKER_02: She produces it.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm performing it.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: You're performing it.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: Where is it?
31:59
SPEAKER_01: At The Wall.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: The Wall?
32:00
SPEAKER_01: Like the Berlin Wall?
32:00
SPEAKER_02: It's called The Wall Comedy Club.
32:02
SPEAKER_02: What's that?
32:03
SPEAKER_02: It's in Friedrichsland.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
32:05
SPEAKER_02: Right by Boxy.
32:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
32:07
SPEAKER_02: Good club?
32:08
SPEAKER_02: It's a very good club.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: That could be your best news.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: Because we know we need the actual location for these birthdays.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: Cosmic Comedy.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: I'll give you Cosmic Comedy.
32:18
SPEAKER_02: Is that a place?
32:19
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's a kookaburra.
32:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know why they haven't renamed it Cosmic,
32:22
SPEAKER_02: because it's a kookaburra,
32:23
SPEAKER_02: which was a journey club.
32:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure now it's out there.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: We'll just put all the comedy clubs in there.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: Those are the two.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: There's apparently a third English language comedy club opening.
32:31
SPEAKER_02: What's that?
32:31
SPEAKER_02: It used to be Caracas Bar over in Schoenbeck.
32:33
Speaking of Schoenbeck,
32:35
and actually Caracas Bar was legendary,
32:38
and even in West Berlin.
32:39
SPEAKER_02: What David Bowie went there?
32:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if David Bowie went there,
32:43
but there used to be that other super schicke club that's now
32:46
Gleisland Park.
32:47
SPEAKER_02: Was it Payon Anoints or is that Munich?
32:50
SPEAKER_02: I get these things confused.
32:51
There used to be a super schicke club right there that's now at
32:53
Gleisland Park.
32:54
SPEAKER_02: And if you didn't get in there, then you went to Caracas Bar.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: So it's apparently going to be an English comedy club, I don't know.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: All right.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for coming over.
33:01
SPEAKER_01: Hey, when's our next podcast, Andrew?
33:03
SPEAKER_01: Weekend and a half.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: Weekend and a half.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: Are we going back to Mondays?
33:09
SPEAKER_01: I guess so.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: All right, guys.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: Hey, thank you.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: Please subscribe, like, share, and all that good stuff.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Sign up for the 20% Berlin newsletter.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: You will not regret it.
33:29
Bye.