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Insta Ruined Everything · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Instagram ruined everything. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: One more thing. So I'm.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: Old.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Quite old. I was in high school 40-plus years ago.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: So lots of things could have changed. But I was
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: talking to a woman the other day, and.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: She said, well, I got to get going. I got
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: to finish the poster for my son. I'm such a mom,
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: I'm actually making his poster for homecoming. And I thought,
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: a poster for homecoming?
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? Well, my son's asking this girl
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: out and I have to have the poster done by tomorrow. What?
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't, I was completely unaware of this phenomenon. And
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: then I guess it's all the rage now, or at
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: least for some people. And it gets to the whole,
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I guess, social media, Instagram thing.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I was just going to say, social media had to
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: have done this.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: So I'm at the football game, and this was several
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: weeks ago. And yeah, everybody knows ahead of time that
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: you're going to ask the girl out for the homecoming dance,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and everybody has their phones out, including both sets of parents.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: And then you go up to her with this great
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: big giant sign that says, will you go to homecoming
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: with me? Facing the camera so everybody can see it.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: And then they.
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  Speaker 3: tell you yes in front of everybody and then hug
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: and then everybody's got to post the video somewhere, I guess.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know how that works, but when did that
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: become a thing that you have to have a giant
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: sign to ask somebody to go to the dance? Has
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: that been that way for decades and I just missed it?
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Or has it always been that way and we just
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: didn't do that at my high school?
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: Boy, I hate to ruin the fun, but this horrifies me.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I hate it. Everything is performative. How is that ruining
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: the fun? I agree. Oh, okay.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Great. Well, I'm delighted to continue the fun by pointing
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: out that everything is performative. And it transforms what is
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: a rather intimate and scary one-on-one interaction to a display
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: for the crowd, which perverts it.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: And that's like your first.
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  Speaker 2: Run in with asking someone to be a date, isn't it?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe. Often. Often is, yeah.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: And it's certainly, you know, in the beginning phases of
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: understanding how that whole thing works if it's not the
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: first time you've ever done it. And so I don't
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: actually know. I didn't ask any questions. I'm not judging
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: anybody and everybody seemed very, very happy. But, like, do
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: you work it out ahead of time so you know
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: they say yes? Is it like the proposals at baseball
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: games where you're on the Jumbotron and she feels like
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: she has to say yes because all the cameras are
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: up and then later says, I.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Don't know that I really want to go with you. Well,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: that's why it bothers me so much.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: The expression of interest now becomes a commodity for the crowd,
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: which is about me, me, me. And then her acceptance
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  Speaker 4: or rejection is....
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: A commodity for the crowd and can put.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: A young woman or young man, depending on the roles
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  Speaker 4: being reversed or whatever, in a terribly uncomfortable position.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 3: I never asked anybody out. I never went to a
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: high school dance with anybody or anything anyway. But I
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: considered asking people out. I would have never even considered
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: it if I had to get a big giant sign
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  Speaker 3: and do it in front of everybody and really lay
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: myself out there for rejection in front of everyone with
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: their phones.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: No way I would have done that.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: And would your parents want to be part of this?
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: My parents would never do this.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: Well, if it's, you know, it's the when in Rome,
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I think it's what for a younger crowd, this is
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  Speaker 3: what everybody does. If your kid's going to go to prom,
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  Speaker 3: this is what they do or homecoming or whatever.
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  Speaker 4: So assuming traditional sex roles in this, Katie, I'm going
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: to say something that I would love to hear your
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: thoughts on it. Unless everybody is in on it, including
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: the young lady. It seems extortionate to me. Is that
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  Speaker 4: the right to extortionary extortiony? Um, you're putting them in
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  Speaker 4: a position where if they do not acquiesce, there will
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  Speaker 4: be great emotional anguish for them in that moment and
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  Speaker 4: moments to come.
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  Speaker 1: No, without a doubt. For the girl or for both?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Because the girl could very easily say, oh my God, no,
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: and her friends, I know, right?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: But she's feeling enormous pressure not to.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Well, it depends on the girl, I suppose. But they
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: could do that to the guy. Oh, my God. No.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: They all laugh about how ridiculous it is that he
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: asked her. And now he looks like gain social currency.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 3: Horrible all the way around to me. But but as
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: it was presented to me by the one mom, this
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: has apparently been around for a while. I was like,
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  Speaker 3: you don't know about this.
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  Speaker 1: The signs. This is what you do. So, OK. I
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: didn't like it.
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  Speaker 4: One more reason not to run with the herd kids
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: that you don't have to run with the herd.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: But it works all the ways around though. I mean, uh,
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: so if you're the sort of person that doesn't want
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: to do that, but you realize if I go ask
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  Speaker 3: her out and she's like without a sign or anything,
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  Speaker 3: you're just asking me out.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Right. Well, yeah, that's embarrassing.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And graduating this into the adult world, I mean, when Drew...
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Gender reveal!
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: It's a boy! Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: When Drew asked me to marry him, he did it
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  Speaker 2: very privately in our home, just the two of us.
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  Speaker 1: And every now and then, we'll be watching... Then it
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: didn't happen.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Right. But it was not as good as if you'd
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: done a big video, not nearly as important.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: And I need to comment on the video. Oh my God.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. Yeah. Heart, heart, heart. Sorry.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: We jumped in. You're trying to tell me. You nailed
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: it though.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, well, every now and then we'll be watching
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: some trash TV and it'll be this big elaborate proposal.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And Drew's actually looked over at me and gone, do
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: you kind of wish I did something bigger?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, it was perfect.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: The way it was, the way it was supposed to
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  Speaker 2: be private between us.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I don't, you know, and so it's kind of like
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: that big production thing we've gone into.
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I don't like any of it. God is audio. What
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: do you, man? I don't know. I don't, I don't know.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I don't, I just learned about this like in the
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: last week. So, and I saw my first ones at
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: the high school football game the other night. Are there
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: girls would be like, I'd rather not have all that
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: focus on me, but then if I go out to
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: a dance with somebody who didn't get me a sign,
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: am I a lame-o then?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: That's interesting.
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  Speaker 4: That's a great illustration of what happens when a bad policy, practice,
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: et cetera, gets to a certain point. It has a
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: self-enforcing mechanism to it, and it's difficult to drag your society,
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: as it were, back to, you know, first principles.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: Well, maybe somebody can email us or Texas, like how
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: long text us that how long this has been around
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: probably be roughly the amount of time Instagram has been big. Um, I,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: I can tell you when it's going to go back
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: to the old way.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Never. It's going to be this way forever. I don't know.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: War cataclysm pandemic.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: Uh, so, uh, Katie, I don't know if you know this, but, uh,
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  Speaker 4: Judy and I were both pretty young when we decided
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: we were going to get married.
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  Speaker 1: We were both still in school.
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  Speaker 4: Um, I was just in school when we ended up
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  Speaker 4: getting married, but I don't even remember the original conversation.
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: It was like, uh, we're, we're pretty much never breaking up, huh? Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think ever.
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  Speaker 4: I don't think we will. So, uh, I'm going to
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  Speaker 4: get married. Uh, when do you reckon we ought to
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: do it? I mean, it was that, it was, that
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  Speaker 4: was the conversation.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: And then the band. We're going to stay together. And
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  Speaker 1: then that's when the band started playing or when did the. Well,
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  Speaker 1: not till after the fireworks, you idiot. Why did the
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  Speaker 1: band jump in there?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, no, and just before we told her parents, look,
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  Speaker 4: we're getting married, I think we were joking in her bedroom. Well,
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: I suppose I should ask you to marry me, I guess.
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  Speaker 4: And she's like, go ahead if you want.
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  Speaker 1: I said, will you marry me? She goes, of course
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  Speaker 1: I will. And then we went out and talked to
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: her parents. Well, then can you play us the video
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: of that? Because we'd like to see it. Yeah, I
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: don't really think this happened. The video is in our
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: minds and hearts, Jack. You'd have to subscribe. There's a paywall.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: And then, so how long were the dance lessons to
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: choreograph your dance that you did in unison?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when did the flash mob come out and start
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  Speaker 2: dancing around to both of you?
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  Speaker 4: And all of our friends who we demanded dress in
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  Speaker 4: the appropriate colors and blah, blah, blah, they're in feature.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what was your theme? What was the theme of
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: asking her? You didn't even mention the theme. You were
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: dressed how with what.
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  Speaker 1: Kind of music? The theme was, I really, really love you.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: It's not super clever.
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  Speaker 3: I don't want to be knee-jerk, old person, everything new
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  Speaker 3: is not as good as everything old.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: But in this case, it's true.
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  Speaker 2: This adds a whole layer of complicated to an already
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: very complicated time of your life.
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  Speaker 3: For this in particular, I don't know. The people I
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: was watching all seemed incredibly happy, including the kids. Of course,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: they're the super popular kids. It's a super popular boy
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: and a super popular girl, and everything's wonderful for them.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: For those of us who weren't popular. They were faking
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: their happiness. Watching them, it looks like their lives are
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: always fantastic, which I know isn't true.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: But....
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I gotta think.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: If you're just a regular, regular girl, regular boy, that's
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: gotta be so much pressure.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Holy crap.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: Right. And just the whole, you know, if I were
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: to summarize it again, it's the question of turning a
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: personal relationship into social currency.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I just think that's, it's unhealthy. Just always, always it is.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: But I get your point about, you know, if that's expected. Yeah. Katie,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've heard this story. I know
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Jack has.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: And if I could find this woman, and I might
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: be able to with the help of AI, I would
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: write her a note of apology.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Doing the math.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: 43 years later, really cute girl, bright, talented for some reason,
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: took a shine to me and wanted to go to
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: the homecoming event with me. She had just graduated and
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: I was, I was not advanced in age, but we,
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: it really hit it off. And, uh, We went to
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: a party and I got way too drunk and was
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: a useless.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: And I can picture her rolling her eyes and thinking,
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: I made a mistake. And I've regretted that to this.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Day.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: You idiot!
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Just.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, fumble!
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: I've had those before, not to that level, but as
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: a drunk where... things were going a certain direction and
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: then I got too drunk and I could also see
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: in the face of, oh, okay, you're one of those guys.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: Right. And it's not like I could have bedded her
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: or whatever. It's, it's, she paid me an enormous compliment
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: and I took a crap on it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: And I hate that. You crapped on her compliment. Yeah.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: Bunch of compliment crappers around here.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I took a crap on it. That's a colorful expression. That,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I think you should leave that behind you. I painted
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: a picture. This is a rough draft.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: It's a rough draft in particularly.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: She gave me an enormous compliment. And I don't know.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Somebody help me here.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I'm stuck on the took a crap all over it statement.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: That's just in there now. I think I said on it,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: not all over it.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: See, now you're exaggerating for purposes of mocking me.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I see what you're doing here. Man, oh man,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: oh man. That period of life is... I abused it.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: How about that? I abused it. There you go. That
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: high school period of life is... By taking a crap
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: on it.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Jeez. So difficult as it was, and then to add
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: this extra layer of performance is so what we do
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: now with everything.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Janet, if you're out there, thank you, and I'm sorry. Signed,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: An idiot. Make her a big sign. That's the thing
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: you do. Make her a big sign.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: And then you figure out where she is and you
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: show up to where she is with this big sign saying,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: I apologize for the time I got so drunk 43
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: years ago.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: And she would say, Joe who? As you wipe the
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: mace out of your eyes?
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: Exactly as her husband pounded me.
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: My wife and I this weekend are celebrating our sixth anniversary.
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: I still remember our wedding proposal. I got down on
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: one knee with the ring and I said, we could
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: get some tax breaks and you can stay legally in
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: the country. And here we are today.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I'm choking back tears.
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: Well, I guess that's it.