Latest / Share Your Fire / Share Your Fire, Ep. 2-6: You Don't Have To Face It Alone (Faith Majors)
Transcript
- John Verrico: Hey there, it's another amazing episode of Share Your Fire. Welcome. And you know, sometimes life just throws you a curveball. Just like, you know, the virtual background I normally use for my podcast just decided to just disappear. So we'll just gonna go raw today. You're gonna get to see my messy background, but that's okay because sometimes life is messy. And, you know, for our special guest today, you're you're gonna love her, but unfortunately she has gone through some real mess herself. And that's what happens in life. But when you get a a really traumatic diagnosis of something like lupus, it really can mess you up. you wind up with all sorts of symptoms and and it takes a while to figure out what's going on too. You wind up with all sorts of of symptoms like debilitating fatigue and chronic pain. And it throws your life completely off because you never know when it's going to strike, when the next flare-up is going to be, and all of a sudden you're you're functioning, you're perfect, everything is great, and then slam dunk, you know, you're down for the count for several days. My guest today is a actress, model. She was a producer, all kinds of things. She's a writer and now she's a speaker as well. Faith Majors was at the peak of her career and still is doing well. But she wound up getting all these symptoms. She couldn't figure out what was going on. And it took a couple of years to figure it out. And that's one of the problems with things like lupus. But when she got that really devastating diagnosis, she refused to sit down and give up. She's still fighting to this day and now she's an advocate helping others with lupus. So let me introduce you to the amazing Faith Majors. Faith Majors: Hi John, how are you doing? Thank you for having me. are you kidding? John Verrico: I'm doing great. Thanks so much for joining me today, Faith, and for putting up with my messy background. Faith Majors: Thank you for having me. It's great to see you. John Verrico: Yeah, I you know, when we first met, we were both co-authors in a book called The Art of Connection, 365 Days of Resilience. And and I had an opportunity to meet you at the book launch in New York City. And when I heard your story about what you went through and your battle with lupus and the challenges of being diagnosed, just that portion alone is just incredible. so I'd love for you to tell people about, you know, how where you were at that stage of your life, what you were in the middle of doing, and then what stopped. Faith Majors: so life was going on as normal, but I have a very high-stress job as many people do, being on the road constantly. And all of a sudden, these mystery symptoms started showing up, you know, saying this debilitating pain, feeling as though I had the flu all the time, not being able to get out of bed when I was someone who was very active. you know, working out on the road, go go lifestyle, and all of a sudden my body wasn't allowing me to do anything. And just again, just feeling as though I was being electrocuted on and off, getting vertigo and lightheaded and passing out. And I thought, what is happening? And it just started becoming more frequent from every few months, every few weeks to a daily episode. and multiple trips to the emergency room and hospital and and that became the beginning of a journey I never thought I would be on. John Verrico: And this stu this started in twenty nineteen is when you first started to have the symptoms. Faith Majors: I'm gonna s I'm gonna say 2017, 2016, 2017 John Verrico: Wow. Faith Majors: started having these symptoms and allergic reactions becoming yeah. John Verrico: that's right. Yeah. That's right. 'Cause twenty nineteen is when you finally get the diagnosis. Faith Majors: Yeah. Yeah. So the one first episode was twenty thirteen, just kind of an off what saying blacking out. and in a public area in the middle of the day, thinking, you know, what just happened? Having all the tests done, everything came back normal. And then two years later, something similar. And then becoming allergic to almost everything I ate. breaking out in hives and pain and no one Could figure out what was going on. And one particular evening, a very big scare with my health sent me to the emergency room and I was admitted to the hospital for several days. And every test possible, including a spinal tap, and was John Verrico: Ooh. Faith Majors: yeah, that was scary, and then told everything looks normal. And I thought, I know I'm not making this up. And I was it was, you know, very frustrating because I'm fighting for my life and trying to get answers and I'm not getting them. And in a year and a half I went to eighty medical appointments and John Verrico: my god, I can't it's just hard to fathom that many appointments. Faith Majors: Yeah. And I dreaded it. I thought, please, not another doctor appointment. I don't want to have to explain myself again or a different specialist. And then one specialist saying one thing, then I would get a second opinion. And he'd say the complete opposite. So then I need a third opinion to kind of find a happy middle. And I felt very discouraged. I felt Scared and lonely, and no one could understand what was going on with my health. People did it not to help me. And it was after being on a trip to Cabo where I had an anaphylactic allergic reaction to shellfish, which again never had a problem. And the doctor there said you need to see an allergist when you get back home, and I I saw an immunologist. And an allergist, and he ran a blood test, and he said, You have an autoimmune disease. I don't know what it is, but you need to see a rheumatologist. And when I went to a rheumatologist, she said, You have lupus. And I was shocked and scared, but also it gave me some relief to know, okay. Finally, someone is confirming everything I'm going through is real. John Verrico: I think that's probably the the scariest of all of it is the the not knowing what is going on with you. I've talked to several folks who who have suffered through autoimmune ailments and and and that's the the biggest challenge is diagnosing the darn thing, figuring Faith Majors: Yes. John Verrico: out what's causing all this stuff. And what sounds terrifying to me is the sudden anaphylactic shock to s reaction to something that you never had a problem with before. Like what has changed in my system to make that happen? Faith Majors: Exactly. And and you know, I'm I'm researching everything I can and as I'm learning now that I have something to finally specific to research. The thing is there is not a single diagnostic test for lupus. There isn't one test, okay, we do this test and we'll it'll let us know yes or no. And it mimics so many other John Verrico: Right. Faith Majors: diseases. So it's you're on a countless, you know. hunt, scavenger hunt, trying to search for answers and I started learning to speak up for myself and advocate for myself and say, you know what, test me for this. I want to be tested for that. And because a lot of doctors weren't. And I learned I'm gonna have to take this into my own hands here, and get some answers and find the right treatment plan. John Verrico: I wonder how I I shouldn't even say I wonder how often because I know it happens way too often that people have an ailment and they go to the doctor and the doctor just blows it off, or they kind of look down the the the the most likely things it is, give you some medication and send you on your way. but they just don't look deeper. I know this happens too with with thyroid problems. There are so many times the basic thyroid tests won't determine what is going on with you and it all checks out fine. No, your tests are fine. It's not that. And it actually is. But they just, you know, they don't dig deeper. And being an advocate for your own health is absolutely critical. You you need to stand up for yourself. You know, it's like when you take the car to the mechanic and it doesn't make the noise it was making, right? No, it Faith Majors: Example. John Verrico: really does make the noise. It does happen. And so you've got to keep pushing. Faith Majors: Exactly. And you know, we go to doctors and we're expecting an answer and we're trusting them, but they're still practicing as I say. I like to say. It is and John Verrico: I was gonna say medicine is a practice, yeah. Faith Majors: and I tell people now, you know your body better than anyone, any doctor. You're living in it 24 7. I knew something fell off. I had multiple doctors dismiss me. you know, I knew this isn't just some random odd feeling and I was not okay not knowing and I wasn't going to stop searching for answers until I got one. Even through the tears, the unknowing, the nights where I didn't know if I would make it through because I needed to fight for myself and rescue myself. John Verrico: Let me ask you, because this I know can be a challenge for people as well, especially when it's ongoing for such a long time. How was the support you were getting from friends, family, colleagues, your husband, you know, what were they going through with you during this whole process? Faith Majors: So initially there, there was concern and but as time went on they're thinking, wait, we still don't have an answer. They they were getting food patient fatigue in a way as I was getting worn John Verrico: Ha ha ha. Faith Majors: out because they felt helpless. You know, here's Faith, she's suffering, there's nothing we can do, we can encourage her. But after a while, that support group got smaller and smaller, and it made the journey even lonier and I couldn't find anyone who had lupus or was going through lupus or an autoimmune and I thought, my gosh, I know I can't be the only one. And so it was very discouraging. And but yes, it's so important to have a support group, but it's not always guaranteed. And I remember friends saying, Well, what did the doctor tell you this week? And I thought, you know, I don't want to be the girl where all I do is talk about my doctor's appointments. John Verrico: Ha ha ha Faith Majors: And but yeah, it was hard. And I will be very honest and transparent. This is when I first started going to therapy because I thought I need extra support here to keep myself going and strong mentally and emotionally, because it was not only a physical battle, it was a mental battle. just trying to get some answers in the right treatment. John Verrico: And emotional as well, I'm sure. Faith Majors: I countless tears calling myself to sleep at night and thinking, is this the rest of my life? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Will I be able to function normally? Will I be able to work again, have a life, travel again, socialize again? So you're thinking all these things because I'm pretty much going to doctors or at home in bed. So John Verrico: Now I I'm gonna throw this out there because Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: for the for for the average person, for people who, you know, have a a a regular job and and all of this in i in their life, everything is important to them, obviously. and then they come up with something like this and it and it holds them back and it and it sets it really can be debilitating. Some people have lost jobs because of it, because they you know, they just couldn't be counted on to be there for For work. Some people have the kind of a job that it requires them to be very physical. They need to be on, you know, people who've actually worked in construction on high skyscrapers and stuff. You know, you can't have dizzy spells and fatigue and things like that happening. So they wind up having to change whole careers and everything else. For somebody like you who was in the I don't want to call it the limelight, but really you're in. the Hollywood circle, right? You're doing all of this stuff. You're having this glamorous life with, you know, Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: with a a a celebrity husband, you're a celebrity yourself. And and this kind of a of a screeching halt just just smacks you right in the face and stops all of those kinds of activities that are so necessary to be functional and successful in your career area. Faith Majors: Yes, and you know, I'm my Faith is very important to me. And there were times, I mean, praying thinking, will I work again? And thankfully I did have the flexibility to go to doctors. but you know, being in the celebrity Hollywood world did not guarantee getting in with the doctor or the right treatment, etc. But it does break my heart and it it was definitely humbling. Very humbling, and it allowing me to show even greater compassion because how much of a toll it takes on your life, on your family, on your finances, and how many people don't have that extra help. And that's where I've now saying kind of done this 180 in my career. Advocating and speaking up for people with lupus because the problem is people see the exterior and think here is someone who looks very healthy, perfect life, and I think it's important for people to know someone's exterior doesn't determine the severity of the war, the physical war. Your body is attacking itself, its own organs, blood, tissues, brain. everything. So people sometimes don't take it seriously because they think, she looks fine. And no, your body is attacking itself. And so I just think it's so important for me now because I know how lonely it felt while I was going through this. And I r I don't want someone else to feel that way. And if I can turn everything I've been through into something meaningful to help someone else on their lupus journey, then is worth everything I went through. Yeah. John Verrico: And that is exactly why I invited you onto the show, Faith, because Faith Majors: Yeah, yeah. John Verrico: you you have such a a big heart and a generous spirit. And you know, you're a very compassionate individual. And and I and I felt that from the moment we met. And Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: just I watched the way you interacted with others, and you talked to other people, you know, who have gone through autoimmune diseases while you were When went when I met you in New York, and I just watched that interaction and I'm like, yeah, this person is just all heart. And that that's the kind of thing that I want to showcase out here with this show. The whole purpose is to show people that there are folks out there just like you that have really, really big hearts and just want to help other people. So and it's especially noteworthy when we're talking about somebody who comes from that that glamorous Hollywood life, because so many times so often people See a disconnect there. Faith Majors: Yeah. Well, for me it's very important the human connection. unfortunately, yes, people see Hollywood and what we have seen is not always positive. But John Verrico: No I know. Faith Majors: what I say is, you know, my husband and I are in that world, but we're not of it. we're still real people, we still face challenges. We grew up You know, we didn't grow up in a luxurious, you know, upbringing and we've worked hard so we understand the the value and just what it takes. but I think it's so important because you know, without tearing up, it was the kindness of strangers that helped me along my path. And we never know what one word, just small encouragement can do to someone because they could be at the brink. Of ready to throw in the towel. And this few words of encouragement, keep going. You know, your now is not your forever, even though it feels like it. and now I look back and think, my gosh, if I had stopped, I wouldn't be sitting here in front of you speaking today. But at the end of the day, we are all human, and that is very important for me. with everyone I engage with, I don't think there's any reason to be other than kind and real because life is hard enough and you know, short and we want that human connection. everyone's life matters, you know. John Verrico: so well said. That's what I say all the time. Everybody matters. Everybody makes a difference. Y you know, you even s you even said, you know, the the Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: slightest word, just just one word can make all the difference in the world. just a smile on your face at just the right moment is all it can take. Faith Majors: Yeah. Yes. makes a yeah. John Verrico: Yeah. Faith Majors: Makes a world of difference. It truly does. And so sometimes we think, they're thinking it, but they don't say it. I say it. you look beautiful today. Or I love your dress. Or thank you for holding the door open for me. Or thank you for your encouragement. Because it doesn't cost anything. And why keep keep that inside? Because again, a smile, a hello. you've got this. Means more to that person than you could ever imagine, especially someone living with a chronic illness who still has days where, as you said, I am down for the count. I have been in a flare even now for four weeks. I've been down for eight days. So I'm happy to see you today. I still have Medical emergencies, I have to see a rheumatologist every two months to monitor my lupus. And I have, you know, another autoimmune called dysautonomia. And that is a malfunction of your autonomic nervous system. And what that does is that regulates your blood pressure and blood volume. And for me, yes, very critical. And John Verrico: Yeah, minor details. Faith Majors: Yeah. And again, this is a a specialty not many people know about, but my blood pressure kept plunging and couldn't maintain a normal level. So it'd go 85 over 56, 90 over 60 and would not raise. So I am on a specialty medication three times a day. To keep my blood volume and blood pressure up, I have to eat a very high sodium diet to keep everything John Verrico: Wow. Faith Majors: moving. So doctors want me to have five to ten thousand milligrams of sodium a day, which I know for most people is the opposite. John Verrico: wow. Yeah, I'm on c I'm on the other side of that track. I have I have that kinda I I'm Faith Majors: Opposite. Baha. John Verrico: on I'm on the border most of the time. It every once in a while it peaks a little bit, you know, so I'd have to take medication and maintain and yeah, salt is like the big no no in the house, but wow. Faith Majors: So it's it's a combination and then learning to manage stress. We all have stress, but how to not allow certain things to set me back even further with my health because that's what it comes down to. If we don't have our health, nothing else matters. And yeah. John Verrico: Yeah, you can't do anything when when your own health is is holding you back. And so many folks that that I talk to, especially people who are like in caregiver status, you know, they're they're so busy helping other people that they neglect to take care of themselves. Faith Majors: Yeah. And honestly, I think a little bit of me and I think for women, just to backtrack a little bit, lupus does affect ninety-five percent of women. And as I I don't know if I mentioned it takes five to seven years to be officially diagnosed, but I think for for women in particular, we you know it's in our nature to give and to serve and to take care. And I didn't take care of myself. I put myself last for years, and I think eventually that contributed and caught up with me towards the the lupus. You know, my body was saying, Okay, enough time to take care of yourself and yeah, it's so important. John Verrico: Now I know that you've been you know, a real advocate and you've been getting involved in a lot of projects, especially working with the Lupus Research Alliance. And you've got an event coming up on the sixteenth of November. as of Faith Majors: Yeah. I do. Yes. John Verrico: this recording, it is still coming up, so folks check it out if you have the opportunity. Go ahead and let's talk a bit about what's come what's going on there. Faith Majors: Yeah, no, I'm I'm truly honored, you know, because I didn't speak publicly about lupus until a year or two ago. And to now be a part of something so important and research and bringing lupus awareness. And I I was asked to be the co-chair of the lupus research alliance, Breaking Through Gala, November 16th, and it will be at the Ziegfeld Ballroom in New York City. John Verrico: Ooh. Faith Majors: So all funds raised go strictly to research, which is so important. Yeah. I know. Yes. Thank you. John Verrico: Wow, I wish I was gonna be able to be in New York. Wow, quite an event. Quite an event. And first of all, I want to point out you mentioned something about you know, that Hollywood life and such like that. I want to mention that one of the things that I found so unique about you too is that Like I said, the human side of you, that that compassionate side of you, you have had something that is pretty unique in Hollywood. And that is a marriage that has Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: lasted for decades, which is just absolutely, you know, it's almost unheard of. most of the Faith Majors: It it's John Verrico: celebrities that I that I know that I've worked with over the years, you know, they kind of bounce around a little a a little bit just to say that to put it bluntly. Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: But you've been together with Lee for thirty years now and married officially like twenty four or something like that. Faith Majors: And yes. No, it's it's crazy because there's times I think, what happened? Wait a minute, how did the how am I here? But I I was 20 years old when I met Lee and I had no idea what I was getting into, stepping into, but it's been a a great journey and and with every marriage there's highs and lows and I think John Verrico: Course. Faith Majors: it's being a team. you know, fighting for the marriage, fighting for each other, not against each other, and supporting each other. And I think we were able to eventually work together. So I put my acting on hold and I ran Lee's production company producing and different things. So we were able to go on location together for film in the middle of nowhere for three months or globally because you know, if an actor is on set making a movie for three months and your spouse is at home in a different state or country, you're not seeing each other and you're with your co-star twelve hours a day. And that's why you, you know, hear these stories. You get very attached and close. So it's a it's important John Verrico: Yeah. Faith Majors: to be there. and I think that has made a difference. And after this Lupus diagnosis and putting everything on hold, it gave me kind of a new fire to work again, but in a different way, and things that are more meaningful and not just any project that's offered to be. And you know, and for women that it's it's not too late, and you can live with a chronic illness and still have a full life. There's still pain. But I can still have a full life. And there are days I have to pace myself. And I'm just so grateful. It has it has been a path I never thought I would go on and be on. And and even the celebrity world, I think now there there is a responsibility in some way. And for me, it's not to get political. I think again to show kindness. You're in a position, And it's yes, how can we help others in a positive way and share good news? Because we're getting fed negative news 24 seven a day. And there is Yeah, because it'll paralyze you with fear. And John Verrico: Which which can be just as debilitating as any disease. it's yeah. Faith Majors: there are good things happening and there are good people and we need to sh highlight that. John Verrico: And that's thus that's why I do this show. So thanks for the plug there. I like that. Well, a lot Faith Majors: Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. John Verrico: a lot goes to say for like the size of your heart. you Faith Majors: Thank you. John Verrico: and and and and Lise too, actually, you know, for for for staying with you throughout all of this and supporting you over the over the years together. And like I said, I know that. Yeah, my wife and I just had our forty first anniversary. So, you know, Faith Majors: Happy anniversary. John Verrico: being being together, being present for each other, putting each other consider considering each other in everything that you do, that's you know, Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: and communication constantly. my wife and I I was in the navy when we Faith Majors: Wow. John Verrico: first got together. So, you know, I was gone for anywhere from six, seven, eight, nine months at a time. Faith Majors: Okay. John Verrico: Of the three and a half years we dated, I only we only spent less than n less than nine months in each other's physical presence. Faith Majors: And John Verrico: and we didn't have emails and and cell phones and things. No, no, no. Faith Majors: Social media and modern technology. John Verrico: Our our courtship was done through snail mail, which was pretty Faith Majors: All right. John Verrico: which was pretty brutal. The interesting thing, just and I've probably told this story a zillion times, maybe even on this show, but She was a very prolific letter writer. So when we get to a port and I would get a bunch of letters, I'd have to look at the postmarks to see which ones to read in what order, you know. So so but I would and I was a navy journalist. So the last thing I wanted to do was write in my spare time. Faith Majors: Right. John Verrico: So I've got boxes of letters from her from this time, and she has a little stack with a rubber band. Faith Majors: That's amazing. John Verrico: But my way of communicating was to when we were overseas, To find the international telephone exchange Faith Majors: I think. John Verrico: and sign up on a four-hour waiting list for an open line back to the states. I didn't carry a credit card back then, and I didn't have a lot of cash, so it was collect calls. So Bonnie Faith Majors: Mm-hmm. John Verrico: was paying $17 a minute. Faith Majors: O may go. John Verrico: So I think she married me just because she invested so much. She's still trying Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: to recoup after all these years. But I mean, imagine $17 a minute in early 1980s time frame, you know, in in the dollars for them, for example. But you know, we Faith Majors: Yeah, that's that's a lot of yeah. I love that. John Verrico: go through things together, but I think you're you pointing out the fact that that being together, being there for each other, is is so important, so critical to relationships, and not just in marriage, but in all relationships. Faith Majors: Yeah, and and relationships change and you can't get too complacent like, you know, we're married, everything's fine. No, you still need to make an effort, you still need to communicate and it doesn't have to be exactly the dating, you know, when you first met, but it can be different and even more meaningful and still having a date night or you know, doing fun things together, still laughing together. I think is important. Absolutely. John Verrico: That's exactly it. Yeah. As busy as I've made my schedule since re since I retired from my day job. I I got busier than when I was I know, isn't Faith Majors: Isn't that funny? John Verrico: that crazy? But I actually set aside one day a week. and weekends are pretty, you know, sacred for my wife and I to spend time together. But also, there's one day a week that I just do not do work at all. try not to anyway. Faith Majors: Yeah. No, it's important. I think it's important. John Verrico: Yeah. Faith Majors: Because we're being pulled at all the time and now with modern technology and emails and text and social media, it's constant. So if you don't make the time, yeah. John Verrico: I I have realized that busy is an acronym for Faith Majors: Yeah. John Verrico: basically underserving yourself. Faith Majors: that's good. I like John Verrico: So Faith Majors: that. John Verrico: yeah, so making time for for others and for the people important in your life and even more importantly, making time for to advocate for your own health is absolutely critical. And Faith, you are such an inspiration. And I'm so glad that Faith Majors: Yeah. Yeah. thank you. John Verrico: you came on the show and and we're we're open and vulnerable and sharing your story. and I know that your words are gonna make a difference for people who are listening to this show. Faith Majors: Thank you. It means so much to me, John. And just I'm so happy we met this year in New York and just to have you as a friend means so much and I appreciate your encouragement through everything. John Verrico: And well thank you. And it's been it's been wonderful. Let me give you an opportunity to break some special news. Faith Majors: Yes. So I am absolutely thrilled to announce that I was asked to be the New York Jets honorary team captain November first for Lupus Awareness Day at MetLife Stadium. And I will be there on the field right before the coin toss. So I am just in awe and humbled to be a part of something so special. And so yes, I'm the New York Jets. Honorary team captain, who would have ever thought? John Verrico: That is so cool. Well, being being a a New York originally from New York, you know, the Jets are special to me. This is very cool. this show will air after the first, but I will you know put a little something out there to celebrate Faith Majors: Thank you. John Verrico: you on the first so we can acknowledge that. Faith Majors: Thank you. That means so much to me. And you're doing amazing work and I can't wait to see what continues for you as well. John Verrico: Well, thanks. Well maybe you know, we'll we'll we will stay in touch. Maybe we'll get you back on in the future and you can give us updates on on what you are learning in your journey and other things that you're doing to help support folks. Faith, if people want to get in touch with you, the best way I know that you're pretty prolific posting on Instagram and LinkedIn about your your your ventures and the things that you're doing for the lupus research alliance and other things. you're out there, you're speaking, meeting with folks, constantly advocating for people to monitor their own health and to fight for for for diagnostics and and help. so what are what are some of the things or is there anything else that you want people to know about before we wrap this up for the day? Faith Majors: I think you know, speak up for yourself if something feels off with your health. It doesn't matter how many no's you get, if you have to ask two, three, four, ten times, keep keep advocating for your health. That is number one. And listen listen to your body and yeah, give yourself grace through the challenges. But your voice matters and it deserves to be in the room with doctors as well. John Verrico: Yes, your voice matters and advocate for your own health. That's absolutely critical. Faith, this has been remarkable. safe journeys. I know you've got a lot of things coming up on your plate and Faith Majors: Thank you. Thank you. John Verrico: congratulations on the gig with the Jets on November first, and for Faith Majors: Thank you so much. John Verrico: for the twenty twenty six Lupus research breaking through gala coming up in New York on November sixteenth. Faith Majors: Thank you so much, John. I really appreciate everything. John Verrico: Take care. Have a great day. Folks, listen to this episode Faith Majors: Thank you. John Verrico: and then go back and listen to it again. Faith has has dropped some really wonderful tidbits and advice throughout the show. And I think you know, you're you're gonna understand her heart, realize what kind of a person that she really is, but even more realize how important it is for you to advocate for your own health and don't take no for an answer. Faith Majors: Okay. John Verrico: All right, take care. Faith Majors: Bye bye.