Latest / The Permission Slip / S1 | E10 Rich Priddis - Conscious Connection and Intimacy Guide

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S1 | E10 Rich Priddis - Conscious Connection and Intimacy Guide · The Permission Slip

• The Permission Slip - S1E10 - Priddis Matt Kosterman: So, welcome back to the Permission slip. I'm Matt Costman and I'm here today with Rich Pretti. He is a, I'm gonna get this wrong now. Conscious, conscious. You tell me rich conscious connection and intimacy guide, a con, a conscious connection, and in intimacy guide. That's a mouthful. Uh, so thanks for being here, rich. It's great to see you again. Thank you. You too. Um, just as a by way of background, I know Rich through, uh, a retreat through an organization called ista, the International School of the Temple Arts, which I think is loosely headquartered in Sedona, but sort of a worldwide Rich Priddis: web. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Rich Priddis: It's, uh, the nonprofit is in, uh, officially in Arizona. Yeah. In Arizona, worldwide. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: So I, I Rich was a facilitator at, uh, the retreat that I did in the summer of 24 down in the stunning Lake Lan, Guatemala. Um, which is one of my favorite places, uh, on the planet, having been there for about eight days. And, uh, so we're gonna talk about Sacks today. Awesome. Something a little different for the podcast, I would say. I was, when I was, I was thinking about it just before we started it, that, uh. The the Level one retreat was that I attended was the, as powerful or more powerful of an experience that I've had. And I've had many, uh, and especially one that did not include any mind altering, uh, substances. Um, I let go of, uh, uh, I left a tremendous amount of shame, uh, that I didn't really even know I had, um, down in Lake Lan. And, uh, rich was a facilitator along with, uh, a Minta Barber and, and ia. What is ia? It was ia, yeah. Yeah, ia. Um, so. Let me just look over here real quick. So I, why don't we start just, just, uh, give us a little of your background, rich. I know it's, it's, it's rich and storied with your, uh, religious upbringing. Rich Priddis: My religious upbringing. Yeah. So I was born into the Mormon church and, uh, it's a pretty strict religion, uh, as others are around sex, sexuality. Yeah. Uh, but my parents were also strict at being Mormons and, uh, so I, I was raised with a lot of shame around my body. Um. I don't know how graphic and Frank you wanna be, but Yeah. Go. It's, Matt Kosterman: it's rated, it's, it's, it's r rated on all the podcasts. Is it? Okay. Whatever, whatever that's worth these days. Rich Priddis: Well, well, when I was a little boy, uh, my mother would, would shame me if I had an erection, you know, and then she happened to see that, and I, you know, yeah. As a little boy, I didn't know what was going on and, and didn't know how to control it. So I, I then made it my purpose to try to control that from happening. And no matter what I did it, of course, the more I focused on it, the more it happened. Yeah. I was Matt Kosterman: gonna say, have you, have you figured out how to control it yet? Because Rich Priddis: Not yet. Matt Kosterman: In Rich Priddis: fact, now that I'm older, Matt Kosterman: I'm like, Hey, Rich Priddis: yeah, I wish it would be uncontrollable now. Right, Matt Kosterman: right, right. Rich Priddis: But when you're 14, 15, 16, that's, uh, yeah. Well, no, and these, this was when I was a little boy, like, like five or six years old. You know, I'm in the bath bathtub and my mother comes in to check on me and I'm, yeah. Uh, you know, happen to have an erection and. And anyway, so it, it really drove me crazy trying to control that and then, um, feeling unworthy and all of that. That comes with the religious thing and, and it, you know, in, in that religion and probably most others, uh, but especially Mormons, you know, it's a sin to, to self pleasure. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: And, uh, you're not supposed to have any kind of sex unless you're married. And, um, but, but this whole idea that you can't even be with yourself sexually, you know Yeah. Yeah. Is really, uh, challenging to say the Matt Kosterman: least. And, and probably, I don't know a ton about religious doctrine in the religions, but it's similar. There are similar restrictions in, in other religions, but Mormonism happens to be particularly Rich Priddis: Yeah. And, and maybe it just seems extra strict because I went through it. Yeah. That particular one. Right. But, uh, yeah, so that was my upbringing and I was, um, I, I got married. Young. I was a, I was a missionary actually, for the Mormon church in Spain for two years. And then I came home and immediately got married to somebody I hadn't met before, but met her, uh, in April when I got home. Um, uh, no, I, I got home in April. I met her in May, and we were married in August. Matt Kosterman: Wow. So I could have sex. Really? I was just saying it wasn't a shot. It was, it wasn't even a shotgun wedding 'cause Rich Priddis: No, it was, it was, I had to, to be married, to have any kind of, you know, relations and, and, and as a missionary we were not allowed to have any kind of interaction with, you know, women and the opposite sex. So, uh, and then I, I was faithful for 26 years. Wow. And, uh, uh, not all that happy. I mean, we had children. I love my children and I, and I love, you know, my ex-wife and, uh, you know, you can't help but love somebody living with them that long. But, um, that's all I had experienced my whole life. Yeah. One partner. Yeah, one partner. And, and for a lot of people, that's probably okay. I don't know. Yeah. But for me it was because of the circumstances where it was all so controlled and everything. Um, I, so I left the church after I got divorced. Uh, I was 49. I'd been in it my whole life. I raised my children in it. And uh, and then one day I said, Hey, kids. Just kidding. Basically, Both: psych shock. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Wow. And then, and then of all things, I eventually, um, got into this, uh, they call it sex work, but, um, yeah, I, I, I went through a lot of self, um, improvement. From, you know, starting with like landmark education and then getting into, uh, I found Ista and I, uh, the Human Awareness Institute and the Kosh for the Dear Tribe here in Arizona and, you know, all sorts of things. And I felt like I, um, I just, well first it did, it was a lot of, obviously healing for me. Yeah. Personally. And then I wanted to, uh, share that. And so I, I quickly became an organizer for the ISTA events is the spiritual sexual shamonic experience. And, and then I eventually became a, a facilitator before that I, I got certified as a cuddle party facilitator. I thought that would be the best way to introduce this to, uh, the Mormon community. 'cause it's, oh, okay. Same. It's non-sexual. But, but they even had a problem with that. Matt Kosterman: So, yeah. So just expand on that a little. 'cause I don't know that everybody, people outside. A cuddle party. Don't even know what a cuddle party. I mean, it's, yeah. So what's on the tin? But Rich Priddis: yeah, so a cuddle party is nonsexual, but it's a, it's a place where you come and, uh, first of all learn about, um, consent and, um, you know, asking permission to, to interact with another person. That's one of the best parts of it, I think. But then, um, uh, you know, cuddling, hugging, uh, at whatever level, I mean, you could just sit and stroke somebody's hair or give 'em a, a massage on their shoulders or whatever, but, or you could spoon with them. And cloth clothed, Matt Kosterman: typically Rich Priddis: clothed. Yeah. Yeah. It's totally nonsexual. Um, but it's an exercise in, in opening, you know, laying down the walls, letting in this other human being. Um, and, uh, I, I think it's beautiful. Yeah. But yeah, that's, that's one of the things I tried. And that Matt Kosterman: was Rich Priddis: too, that was too much Matt Kosterman: for the warm community too. You were still, you were out of the com, you were out of the church at that time. You were trying to introduce it to your, your Yeah. Friends and relatives, basically. Yes, yes. Uhhuh. Yeah. Rich Priddis: So, you know, so that's the path. And, and now I am, uh, doing one-on-one work with people, um, where they can experience, uh, you know, healing from shame. One of the things that not only only with this, but with Ista is, you know, you can talk to a therapist, you can work things through in your head, and that's, that's good to a certain extent, but then physically stepping into it is really where the, the change happens in my viewpoint. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. The, the embodiment. Rich Priddis: Yeah. And so I work with people where, um, we'll, we'll get physical stepping into whatever it is that's. You know, got them hung up mm-hmm. Around their bodies, around their emotions, around their sexuality, and, um, and, you know, giving them that, I call it a transmission, a, a, uh, an energy that they get. Right. Um, that, that Matt Kosterman: shifts a, a permission, really. Both: Mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And an energetic permission to mm-hmm. To, to shift. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So let, and let me back up. So I just, what, what was the, what was the actual catalyst after 26 years of marriage and a and a lifetime in the Mormon church? What did, what did, what did that look like? Like, was it, well, Rich Priddis: uh, that was really the beginning of my path was that we did six years of marriage counseling. Okay. Before we divorced. That's a long time. And it, and it was an intense, um, work we were doing every single week, a couple times a week sometimes. And I, it was actually my wife's idea. To do counseling. And when I stepped into that, I saw how screwed up I was. Yeah. Just, I used to come out of those, those sessions, just sweating. Just Oh. Just like, uh, it was so much to, to realize Yeah. How messed up I was, meaning, um, I'd been programmed and conditioned in a way that, uh, I was stuck. I was, uh, Matt Kosterman: well, it ran a counter to your nature to human. The program was counter to human nature. Rich Priddis: Exactly. Yeah. And, and so that was the beginning point. And then, uh, when I finally decided, yeah, this, I got married for the wrong reasons, I, I've got to, whatever the reasons Yeah. Decided to, to finally, uh, divorce. Um, then, what was I Matt Kosterman: gonna say? Um. W was the counselor, was the counselor Mormon or not, or non-sectarian? Rich Priddis: They, they, they were, uh, more of a liberal. Matt Kosterman: Okay. Rich Priddis: Mormon. Yeah. She was, uh, she was the, the head, uh, of the psychology department at the, at the local university. And, uh, yeah. So, yeah. But, but, but that was the point where, oh, yeah. I didn't remember what I was gonna say. So when I got divorced, then I suddenly became a leper, I would say, you know, among the, the members of the church, the community, and, and there where I lived in Utah, all my neighbors were Mormon. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: And so that kind of pushed me over the edge to go Wow, Matt Kosterman: you had the scarlet letter, you were, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Rich Priddis: Yeah. And that, I guess, opened the door for me to, to actually explore other ways of, uh, of being besides the, you know, the counseling that I'd done. And so I started on that path of going to workshops and, and doing a lot of studying. And, um, and one day I, I used to do a lot of, uh, trade shows in Las Vegas, exhibiting and, uh, uh, attending in my, my old business of music Matt Kosterman: for music. Yeah, I was gonna say You're a musician. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And, and I, and I had been seeing some information online about Tantra, and I thought, I really wanna experience this somehow. And I thought, okay, I'm gonna be in Vegas. There's gotta be something about Tantra in Vegas. And there wasn't, there wasn't, no, there wasn't Be conscious, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But, but there were these, these few women listed who supposedly would come and give a tantric massage and come to your room. And I was like, wow. I mean, I used to, if I ever masturbated, I growing up would feel this intense shame afterwards, you know? Yeah. It felt great going into it and getting to the end part. And then I would just go into this deep shame and I certainly had never had anybody come to my room and like Vegas and Yeah, but I, but I, I tried it. Said, okay, come to come do this. And, and she showed up. She's beautiful. Um, and she, she seemed to say all the right things about Tantra, you know, but, um, I don't know that she From the script Yeah, yeah. Practitioner. But, um, but it was the most amazing experience for me that, you know, that she, she got naked, I was naked, she oiled me up. She was sliding her body over mine, and, and I got a happy ending at the end. And at the end I was like. I don't feel bad. I feel really fantastic, in fact, and that was a, a huge turning point for me that somehow I, through my counseling and my studies and that sort of thing, I had somehow shifted and overcome that shame. And then stepping into that physical experience was, was, uh, so healing for me. Yeah. To go, wow, there was nothing wrong with this. It was actually beautiful. And, and I don't feel the shame. And that, that was, that was probably the real turning point for me. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. That's amazing. I mean, it's so wild, right? Because humans have been having sex since the beginning of time. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And, and yet there's so much shadow around it. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Yeah. And, uh, and nowadays that just, that just feels pretty tame to me, you know, that I get a, a sexy massage basically. Sure. Um, yeah. And then I just continued on with. With my path and, and I Matt Kosterman: continue on. Continue on. Yeah. It's never ending. Yeah. I mean, you've done, you've, you've led, I mean, it looks like a couple dozen ISTA retreats that you've co-facilitated. Rich Priddis: Uh, I've actually been involved in almost 50 Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Rich Priddis: The years I, I started in 2014 and, uh, I tallied them up and it's actually 47. Matt Kosterman: No kidding. Yeah. That's amazing. Rich Priddis: And Matt Kosterman: all over the world. Rich Priddis: All over the world. Um, places like Turkey and, and like you said, Guatemala, where we met. And Matt Kosterman: you're going to the festival in Cyprus next month? Not, Rich Priddis: not this Matt Kosterman: time. Not this one. Okay. Set this one out. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so, and then how did your, your, um, your life out, you know, so you, you were working as a musician continue to do that or. Pardon me. Rich Priddis: Yeah, I, I actually had a, a record label. Um, it was a, it was a karaoke business. That's right. Yeah. Where, you know, I was one of the first people to make karaoke music in the, in the United States. And if you went into record store and you bought a, a cassette or a cd, it, it could have been mine. Matt Kosterman: So you, you were licensing the, like, the, the content and just playing the, doing the musical track. Rich Priddis: Yeah. We'd get the musicians together and recreate them and, and it was, uh, under license. Yeah. And we had to pay royalty and everything, but we had to recreate the music and, and, uh, Bon Jovi Matt Kosterman: halfway there. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Right, right. Uh, and I, uh, I, I, that was a, I continued to get income from that. It was, uh, back in 1984 when I started that. Matt Kosterman: No kidding. Wow. And, and there's still a stream from that. Both: Yep. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Um. So how, so how do people find you? How do you work with them? You, you're working primarily one-on-one? Rich Priddis: Yeah. I also do, uh, group events, uh, things that we call temples. It's, it's like a play party, but it's a conscious kind of play party where people give permission to experiment and explore their edges and things like that. Yeah. But, but mostly I work one-on-one with people, uh, or couples. And, uh, I have a website under my name, rich prius.com. That's how people can contact me and, Matt Kosterman: yeah. Great. On, I'll, I'll list that and, and let me, let me jump back actually to the con to consent 'cause I, um, there's. You know, I, I found out about this through a woman, uh, who I was dating, and she told me about Ista shortly after we met. And similar to with this podcast, when I, when it was suggested, my whole body lit up. She said, Hey, why don't you, I think you'd enjoy this. You know, like you, I did the landmark, the whole landmark curriculum. I, you know, all these different, you know, a lot of therapy, a lot of psychedelics, which were wonderful and still, you know, love them. And I looked at the schedule, um, after she had suggested, and once again, my body just lit up, I guess. Okay, I guess I'm doing this. Um, and so I didn't really, you know, I, I had this sense sort of like, you have what Tantra, you know, and there's this westernized version of tantra and it tends to get like everything western, very hypersexualized. Rich Priddis: Mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Um, but I had had some shamanic experience and so, but one of the, you know. I think the, the misnomer when people see this, the misconceptions is that, oh, it's, we're gonna go, you know, someplace and just have a lot of sex. Right. And, and that actually couldn't be further from the truth. So, you know, I, I, I maybe a discussion about some of the things like the wheel of consent from, uh, Betty. It's Betty Martin, right, Rich Priddis: right. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Betty Martin. Um, as, as one of the exercises, sort of the anchoring, I would say, almost anchoring exercise of the Rich Priddis: mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Of the retreat. So maybe, uh, say a little bit about, you know, the wheel of consent and how it works in relationships with others. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Actually, um, you know, uh, I, I, I said I have these temples where people have interactions and it isn't just, like you said, a place to go have a bunch of sex, right? Uh, we actually begin the evening with, uh. An hour or two actually of I'd say instruction and experience in consent. And, uh, and so we'll, we'll do it in a, what some people call a Pooja format where there are two circles facing each other and, and you're interacting with a person across from you and then rotating, uh, to do different things. Uh, by the way, I've, I've started, I'm trained in, in Tantra, obviously. And, uh, I've, I've started not using the terminology so much anymore because I've, I've begun to feel like it's almost, um, uh, apologetic instead of just speaking to, to, to use tantra, to use some of the terminology. You know, like, like people who don't know tantra, uh, they don't know the lingham, the word lingham is Right. Or, uh, you know, penis and, yeah. And, um, uh, yoni is, uh, the, the, the vagina and um. Things like that and puja, you know, so I, I've, I, I just feel like, um, I, I like to be more direct and more clear Sure. Because people need that Yeah. To speak in these fancy kinda woo woo terms. I've decided that's not me. That's not, yeah. Just say even though I teach tantric, uh, you know, um, ideas, you know, um, and consciousness. So, yeah. So anyway, we'll sit in this puja, I call it now a connection circle. Matt Kosterman: Okay. Rich Priddis: Uh, makes more sense to people for Matt Kosterman: sure. Rich Priddis: Uh, so, and, and we'll practice, we'll talk about, uh, uh, consent and, and practicing saying no and changing your mind and, and all the different things involved with that. And, and, and we'll have an interaction between the two people facing each other where they can practice that. And then as we. Uh, keep rotating around. It becomes a little bit more intense, more intense until we start getting to things like the wheel of consent, where you go, okay, let's, let's practice this idea of one person serving the other person. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Like if you're, if you're a massage therapist, you would be serving the person you're giving the massage to and they're receiving. Yeah. Um, so that's one axis. That's one part. Yeah. Yeah. And so, so we talk about that and we, we let 'em practice it. And then, uh, you know, and, and for example, sometimes people really get hung up on that because they don't know how to receive, for example. Mm-hmm. They, they can't just be there and, and accept. They, a lot of times they feel like they have to be doing something. Yeah. In response or, Matt Kosterman: um, which then shifts the dynamic if they're, they're uhhuh, if they're, they're not in a receiving mode, you can't. Serve. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And the person serving, sometimes they don't know how to, uh, simply serve so that the whole benefit's going to the person receiving, sometimes, uh, all they know is to take, and they don't realize that they're taking energy, you know, for their, for their benefit. I mean Yeah. In a codependent sort of Matt Kosterman: a Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Sort of a way. Rich Priddis: Yeah. And it's, it's all nuanced. I mean, it's obviously you're gonna enjoy serving somebody, uh, usually anyway. And, uh, but it's, it's this, uh, really, uh, subtle energy thing that we play with. And then, and then we rotate around again and we talk about, uh, taking and allowing, which really, uh, sometimes trips people up. This whole idea of, of taking is like bad, right? Taboo. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, uh, and so we practice that about consciously. Taking where somebody's Matt Kosterman: allowing. Right. It's only tab It's only taboo if you're doing it with, to somebody who's not allowing. Exactly. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And so we, we practice those things. I've actually changed the, the way I talk about it, instead of just taking, I, I call it partaking. So you're, Both: you're Rich Priddis: the person, uh, I, I can do my best as like a, a practitioner to serve somebody and give them what I think they're needing, but then if you switch it around and let them partake of my energy, for example, they know what they're needing. They know what they want, and so they get to practice. Um, doing that, taking the parts. It's not depriving me of something that's taking, but it's, it's sharing. Sure. And, uh, and so they get a chance to partake of what they really want. 'cause they know better than I do. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Rich Priddis: it's, it's fun to play with that stuff. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Oh. And it's all centered around communication, like you said before. Rich Priddis: Totally communication. And, and people sometimes think that that's a buzzkill and when you're interacting with somebody, and the real buzzkill though, is when there's miscommunication. 'cause you haven't been talking enough. Right. And you think that they're wanting something and they're really not, and then you have a problem. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And, and where, I mean, I have my own ideas, but where, where's that, you know, that, that root cause, uh, of this thought that many people have that we can't talk about this stuff. Right. I mean, that's sort of the overlay Rich Priddis: there. I think there are a couple issues there. One is, uh, just not being present. You know, you're, you're, you're not focused on the other person at all. You're just there to, uh, get off. Mm-hmm. Or something. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um. For your own selfish desires and needs. And so, you know, we talk about when you're not present with the other person's energy, then bad shit happens. Yeah. Uh, yeah. The other part of that is, um, oh, I just lost my train of thought again. Matt Kosterman: I mean, to, to me it kind of, it goes back to shades of your upbringing, right? We're not, we, we don't talk about these things. We don't talk about sex. Right. Rich Priddis: Right. Matt Kosterman: We're not, yeah, that's Rich Priddis: what it was. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Rich Priddis: We're not, that's what I was gonna say is it's, it's about, uh, fear really. Yeah. Fear of being rejected. Fear of, you know, you, uh, I always like this image of the old time movies where, you know, there's a couple sitting in the theater and, and the guy yawns and Yeah. And puts his arm around the, the person. And you're hoping that that's what they want, or assuming that that's what they want. And instead of asking, Hey, can I put my arm around you? That's, that's very simple. And they can say yes or no, but, but because of that fear of rejection, I guess. We, we sneak in the sneaky way almost. Yeah. Shadowy, shadowy way. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, move, move our arm around a person and, uh, and yeah. And then maybe because we haven't been taught anything better, you know, we, we don't even know how to ask. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. I mean, I can, I mean, that takes me right back to like fifth, my fifth grade girlfriend, you know, girlfriend, quote unquote at, literally at a movie and like, Ooh, can I get my, can I get my arm around her? I mean, exactly. It's classic, it's cla it's a classic. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. It's, so it's practicing these, it's practicing these things. It's practicing this communication in, in, on the court, as they might say at Landmark. Right? Rich Priddis: Yeah. Right. And, uh, people don't realize too, especially I would say men, and if I were to be appropriate, I'll, I'll say people in male bodies. Yeah. Um, that. The, the, okay. Just from my, from my background, my understanding, my experience, I'm gonna talk about men and women. Okay. So the, the female energy, uh, you, in order to get to sex with a female, you have to go through her heart. Mm-hmm. And if you wanna get to a man's heart, it's usually through sex, right? It's, yeah. It's in it's inverse. Like you got this, uh, this dissonance there, this, this, uh, different way of approaching things. And so this idea of, of talking first is a way of going through the heart. You know, you're showing in real interest and concern and care for the person. And, you know, and, and the guy on the other, on, on the other side of it is like, Hey, let's just get to it. Right? Right. This is, this is why we're here. And it's not always that way. I mean, if, if there's some other kind of. If, if the, the female has already, uh, decided that they like the person, she might wanna just get right to it too. But generally, you know, there's that whole idea of, of warming up and, um, foreplay and all of that. And, and having these kinds of conversations is a great way Matt Kosterman: mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. To Rich Priddis: do that. But, but a lot of guys just don't get that. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Which, which also, which brings me to the whole, uh, I don't know how many letters are in the acronym these days. It keeps getting added to, but the, the, the RBD SMA Uhhuh discussion, is that where we're at now or are there more there more letters. Well, Rich Priddis: and I, you know, I was at a, again, doing a temple trying to explain that, and, and somebody came up with a different acronym. Matt Kosterman: Okay. Rich Priddis: You just changed the letters around and they came up with Body Smart. Oh, body Smart, okay. Yeah. And, and what that is, is the B is about boundaries. So this is a way of remembering. Things to talk about Matt Kosterman: when you're having a conversation with somebody. Yeah. This was very eye-opening. Part of his study. Safer Rich Priddis: sex kind of talk is sometimes what they say. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Rich Priddis: But yeah, b uh, is for boundaries. D is desires. You're basically taking out the, the vowels. The vows, yeah. D d's desire, uh, s is about your sexual history and preferences, things like that. STIs, et cetera. Yeah. M is for the meaning. What, what does this mean if we do this? And, and how do you wanna be cared for afterwards? And then, um, R is for relationships that you Matt Kosterman: have. The A would be the aftercare, right? The smart. But a, is it? Oh Rich Priddis: yeah. Matt Kosterman: Meaning in aftercare, right? Rich Priddis: Yeah. But, uh, buddy, Matt Kosterman: smart body, smart. Rich Priddis: I guess it could be in there. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Aftercare. So aftercare like, do do you need, do you want me to text you? Do we, do I need to call you every week? What you know. Rich Priddis: Then the T is about, uh, trauma, talking about that. Any, anything, be there and, and how do you, if you're aware of it, you know, and how, how can you help if something like that comes up and, um, so anyway, body smart, it's a way of remembering all those. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. That's great. And then it doesn't brand, I know when I've said R-B-D-S-M-A to people and they, they pick out the BDSM and think that we're Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Gonna be kinky. And it doesn't nec it's, that's not necessarily the case. It, it has nothing to do with that. Right. It's simply an acronym. Exactly. Yeah. Um, Rich Priddis: and you know, you can talk about all of those, you know, once you've talked about that, you know, where you're at with the person as far as agreements and relationships and, you know. Right. And Matt Kosterman: each per, and each person, they take turn like mm-hmm. Person number one goes through their body smart. And then person number two goes through their body. Smart. Mm-hmm. And the other thing I think was, was cool. Um. Around boundaries is that the more limiting of the two boundaries is the one that is, goes into effect. So if somebody doesn't want to take their clothes off Yeah. And somebody else does that, we don't take our clothes off. Rich Priddis: Exactly. And, and one of the things I teach is that you can negotiate too. You might have a desire to do something and, and they're like, yeah, I'm not, I'm not up for that. But how about this, you know, we can Yeah. Try way. And so Yeah. Can Matt Kosterman: we do the same thing with our clothes on? Sure. Well, yeah. And, and one of the exercises, uh, to that point that Ista was, uh, the, just the energetic, uh, sex with, uh, breathing. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Uh, yeah. And in fact, that can be, that can be even more intimate, I think, than actual physical intercourse. Is that, uh, energetic. Matt Kosterman: Where you're basically eye gazing, and then one, you're sort of doing a looping breath, right? One person's breathing out as the other person's breathing in, and then you, and then you switch. Rich Priddis: So it's really, uh, a practice in deep presence. You're, you're sinking your, you're breathing together, you're, um, uh, yeah, the presence, and then it, and then it becomes this thing where your bodies vibrate together, like the, the, that's the, the energetic part of it. The, the, the climax of it, I would say is that your, your bodies are vibrating and, uh, and you're actually feeling you can, you can, uh, have a connection with each other's hearts or you can do with your, you know, your, um, third eye or your genitals or whatever. But it's all energetic, you know? It's all energetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No intimate touch. And then if you learn to combine that with actual physical intercourse, then it's like, it's mind blowing because you got that presence and you've got that. Uh, that energy flowing instead of the deep connection and then you add the physical to it. Yeah. Instead of, you know, some people tend to have sex in their mind somewhere else. Right. You know, it's not with that person and Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Matt Kosterman: yeah. Rich Priddis: So it's Matt Kosterman: limiting. Yeah. Ab absolutely. Um, so, and, and are these things when, when you're working with people, say one-on-one is this, you, you go through some of these exercises as well, and this, this sort of theory? Rich Priddis: Yeah. There's, there's always the basic things like that, that, that are important to share. And then really working with people. There's no set, um, like curriculum or anything, or a program. It's, it's based on what it is that they're, uh, they're dealing with. Yeah. And, um, it, uh, let's see. I'll just say this. I, it again, it's gonna be graphic, but. Uh, this one person I worked with, uh, had issues with her, her moon timer period. Yeah. She, she had experiences with men and people that made her feel like it was dirty and that they didn't like being around her, and certainly didn't wanna be intimate with her when, uh, that was the time of the month for her. And so she wanted to, to heal that. And again, we could talk all day long about how it should be and, and all of that. But, uh, but what we did is we, um, actually ended up making love on her, on her moon time, on her period. And not only that, um, we, uh, took the blood and, and smeared it all over each other's bodies and played in it and, you know, oh, wow. Yeah. To, to really, uh, you know, and that, that may sound really graphic. It is. But. It, it was a way of physically shifting the experience. Yeah. It's like, okay, uh, I'm feeling this now in my body, not just in my mind. Yeah. And I'm experiencing that it's okay that it's accepted, that it's a, it's a good thing Matt Kosterman: I didn't die. I didn't, you know, 'cause Yeah, ultimately the shame, you know, the, the, the, the end of the shame is like, I might, I might die. I might cease to exist because of this, this shame. Rich Priddis: And I, and I didn't get, uh, a lightning bolt from, from God or something that, and so, uh, and so yeah, it's very, that kind of thing is very healing. And, and so it just depends on what the person is going through. And then once that is shifted, then uh, the next thing, what's the next layer? What's the next layer? Yeah. Matt Kosterman: So who, so who, who typical, when people come to you, they're having relationship problems. Is is typically where it starts? Or, or it could be Rich Priddis: relationship problems. It could be that, um, they've, yeah, been married and divorced a few times and they, they just, just isn't working. Um, maybe they, uh, have body shame issues. They just, they don't think that they're good enough. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Um, or maybe they just haven't had touch or any kind of intimate interaction for years. I mean, they're, they're so many people like that, that just are dry as far as, as having any kind of intimate experience. Yeah. And so they, um, and, and so this is oftentimes, um, like a, a reference point for them to go, wow, there's something possible that's different than what I experienced in the past. Mm-hmm. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Being treated well. Um, being, um, being, being Matt Kosterman: asked what my, my what I want. Yeah, Rich Priddis: yeah. And, and really, you know, experiencing that presence and, and, um, and, uh, yeah. So there are all kinds of different reasons. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And the, the, the podcast episode I did with my, my friend Laura O'Malley, who's a channel, the, the, the guides that come through her, we were talking about sexual, uh, assault. Rich Priddis: Mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Uh, and, and, and they, their, their number that they threw out was in, in excess of 90% of the people in our country Rich Priddis: at some Matt Kosterman: point have been. And that, that's a right, as you know, it's a range. Sexual assault is a range of unwanted touch all the way through to, you know, to, to full on rape. But the fact that the vast majority of the people, at least in our country, have been assaulted sexually in some way, um, is crazy. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And like you say it, uh. A lot of it can simply be that the, the, it wasn't like rape or anything like that, but the person didn't ask Yeah. Didn't ask to put their arm around them, you know, or didn't ask whatever. It's at the, at the Matt Kosterman: movies. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Right. Yeah. And, and then, um, on the other end of it, they may have a hard time saying no because of their upbringing, you know, or, or they maybe could freeze because of past experiences and they don't know what, what to do and, and so, and, Matt Kosterman: and it's involuntary, the freeze. Yeah. Yeah. And, and yet they can't, you can't undo it. Rich Priddis: Mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: You can't think out, think your way out of it. Yeah. Rich Priddis: So it, so it becomes traumatic. Right. You know, where it may seem like a, a simple thing where you can just say, uh, Hey, I don't want your arm around me, or I, I'd like you to ask permission for something like that. But if they, the person isn't, uh. Doesn't have the tools or the ability to, to do that, then it becomes a real problem for them. Yeah. You know, they, they come out of it, uh, feeling harmed. Matt Kosterman: Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, and so you, you typically work, uh, one-on-one or with couples or both? Both, yeah. And Rich Priddis: you enjoy doing both. Um, it's, uh, easier one-on-one. Sometimes couples, you know, then you're dealing with, um, insecurities, uh, as far as the, the couple and this third person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but yeah, that's part of the work as well is, is to look at that. Yeah. Both: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Helping them, uh, work through that. So for somebody who, who is stuck, what would you, you know, somebody feels stuck in their life, you know, sexually, otherwise, what, what advice would you give the, would you give somebody. Rich Priddis: Wow. Okay. So that's a, that's a big, big range there of, uh, Matt Kosterman: it covers a lot, but I mean, you know, we, you know, we've gone to six years of couples therapy or Both: mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Or, you know, or, or somebody's single and they can't, you know, they're, they're just, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're feeling stuck and it's feeling stuck around their sexuality. Yeah. They're present to that. Rich Priddis: Well, one of the, I think one of the most important things is to somehow learn to stand in their truth, to discover what their truth is. Um, for example, when I was in my marriage and doing that whole thing, it wasn't really my truth. I, I got married for the wrong reasons. And I was more open than just having one person for eternity, basically. Mm-hmm. And, and there's that dissonance there. If we're trying to live one way and really deep inside, it feels another. And so people can get into all kinds of relationships where they stay in it, uh, for the wrong reason, and it's not really their truth. And, uh, that's, you know, that's, that's a tough one. And, uh, yeah. Where I come in is that if they finally decided to make a shift, then physically doing something different helps them to own whatever it is that they, you know, are feeling inside, but not able to live, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matt Kosterman: Um, Rich Priddis: it's, Matt Kosterman: it's, it's the process of embodying. Of embodying the truth of Both: mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: I did, uh, I did a lot of shadow work myself personally, and I love, uh, helping people with shadow work. And the shadow work is, has to do with, um, a person stuffing away things that they don't want to be seen. They don't wanna be seen in a certain way. They're afraid to be perceived a certain way. And, and that's part of not owning their truth. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And, and, and then, and then the shadow and ends up expressing Both: mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Some gets triggered, gets triggered some, somewhere it's gonna, it it's part of you. It's gonna come out. Both: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: So when you say, so shadow work, 'cause that's a, obviously a very popular topic right now. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: As it should be. And what, what does that, what does that look like? Rich Priddis: It's, it's bringing that out into the light and looking at it instead of keeping it. Stuffed away. Uh, and you know, for example, I always use my dirty old man example. That was a shadow that I had that, uh, I was afraid of being, being seen in that way. And in my mind, uh, not that 'cause you were Matt Kosterman: attracted to younger women. To Rich Priddis: had younger women who were partners. And I was in this work, you know, with Ista teaching about sex. And that's not the only thing we talk about in Ista, obviously, but Yeah. Right. Part of it. And then doing his one-on-one work, and I'm of a certain age and I'm, you know, white older male. Yeah. And, and so I had this fear that, um, people would, would think that I'm a dirty old man or, or whisper that to each other or whatever. And so that had me acting in certain ways where I was over trying to over, uh, compensate or, you know, kind of prove that I'm not that. Yeah. And so I was, I was, you know, I, I couldn't just flow. I was, I was You were still in a box. Was in a box. Yeah. Yeah. And so I had to bring that out and, and look at it and go, okay, uh, you know, is this true? And, and can I accept this? Can I love it? And, uh, um, you know, I I finally came to the point that I am a dirty old man. Sure, sure. Because according to other people, the things that I'm doing would, would put me in that, uh, yeah. And, Matt Kosterman: and, and ultimate, ultimately, I think that the shadow is created because there's shame that's being placed upon you for having a, a belief. Mm-hmm. Or, or for having a desire. Yeah. And, and the shame is how do they talk? The shame is externally. Right. Guilt. Guilt is if you do something wrong. Yeah. You violate and you know it. And you feel guilty for having done that. Shame is put on you by society. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And, and if there were something that I was doing in that dirty old man sort of title that was, um, involved guilt, then certainly I need to look at that and, and make changes. But, um, yeah. And then stepping into it physically, I'll give you an example. It was at a training in, uh, ISTA training in Utah. And I had my partner at the time, she was same age as one of my grown children. And, um, she knew that I was struggling with this shadow and that I was trying to overcome it. And so, you know, we have these sharing circles in the morning, right? And she got up in the middle of the sharing circle and she was wearing this t-shirt that said something about Daddy Uhhuh. And, and she with daddy. Yeah. Yeah. And she had me, um, come up into the, the center and. And then she, you know, um, in front of everybody, put her hand on my, my dick, you know? Yeah. And she, I don't, I don't remember what she said, but it was stepping in physically to this thing and going, yeah, this is, this is who you are. Matt Kosterman: Sure. Rich Priddis: Like, I love you and you're an older man, and, Matt Kosterman: and that's okay. Rich Priddis: And deal with it. Yeah. It's okay. And so again, it's one of those things where stepping into it physically, uh, makes a big shift. Matt Kosterman: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Uh, you could talk about it all day long, but that Matt Kosterman: had a huge impact on me. Yeah. How many year, how many years could you have sat in a therapist's college? Oh, yeah, exactly. Trying, trying to, trying to get rid of it. I mean, I, it's, it's akin to I'm, I'm sure I'm, I'm, I'm making up that somebody who's attracted to, uh, same sex, same gender, and the shame that's put on them by society, which is all ultimately just programming. Rich Priddis: Yep. So there are all sorts of things like that, that, and that's a shadow, you know, if somebody who says, I'm, I'm still in the closet. Well, what that's saying is they've got that whole issue stuffed away. They don't wanna be seen. They don't, they, they're afraid. And that's a perfect example of shadow. And, and so you, you bring that out and you go, okay, can I own this? Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Am I bisexual or am I gay? Or am I, whatever it is, um, that you felt that you had to hide you, you bring that out and, and wow. The liberation and, you know, the freedom to finally own that. Yeah. And, and say, yeah, I am. And when somebody says something derogatory to you, you can say, yeah, that's me. That's me. Right. Without the, without the trigger, without the energy that's trying to defend, that's behind it. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Yeah. So it's big. Yeah. One of the, one of the more, uh, powerful experiences at the, the retreat was with the, uh, the aspecting, the shamanic, the shamanic aspecting, um, for releasing that energy, um, that, that process of, of, and, and coupled with that, um, for the listeners out there, you know, the, the, uh, when I think there's five different, um, methods for moving ener emotional energy in your body, the pillow pounding, stamping the feet, the fetal freeze. Rich Priddis: Yeah. We actually have like about, it's, it says it's seven tools, but there's actually like 11. There's 11. Yeah. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Um, but these are just, uh, these are just embodied ways to, to physically get emotions moving through one's body. Yeah. Um, and I think I've touched on this in other, in other episodes, but we, we are so trained. To suppress any emotion, oftentimes even happiness. Um, yeah. And, and not express it. And they, they, I think it's about 90 seconds that an emotion wants to have to physically move through, through a body. And so I know in my case, I was trained to just hold all of this stuff. Well, my pelvic pain was a result of, uh, I mean, firstly playing crazy intense tennis and being angry about it, but also it was shoving everything down and not allowing anything to move through me. And so these exercises of moving the body, stamping the feet, uh, screaming into a pillow, um, a allows them to move. And then the, the aspecting, the shamanic aspecting was this sort of, how would you describe, you're, you're having a conversation with. Another entity on the other side of the cushion. And that could be your mom, your dad, God, yourself, some version of yourself, your brother, your sister, and you, you switch roles. Um, and, and it's fascinating. I was, I was actually, I was doing it with my mother who's crossed over, who's passed back in 2020. And she had a lot of addiction issues. And when I first did this, I got her, when I switched sides and became her, I got her on drugs. I was like, whoa. I was like, I was nonverbal. I was like, what is going on? And then I shook that off. I said, no, no, no, no, no. And then I got her in a lucid state. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: And I was able to, to hear from her what I needed to hear, even though she's, she's not in the physical anymore. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Amazing. And it was, uh, it was super powerful. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. Another way of, like you said, stepping in physically in a way, even though that that person isn't with us anymore. But you, you sort of sit in by proxy Yeah. For them. And, uh, and it's actually, uh, because of that, a physical experience. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Which is you're, you're effectively channeling, which we all, we we're all channels for. Mm-hmm. We're all radios if we know how to tune the, the dial the station. Yeah. Rich Priddis: Yeah. It, it's amazing that, like you said, the, uh, the emotional release, there are also things like breath work, you know, again, that, uh, have that physical effect where it moves things and, and opens you to, to channel. Matt Kosterman: Yeah, absolutely. I had a, my, uh, two episodes ago it was, uh, with, uh, or maybe the last episode with Ben, uh, Goldberg. He's a psychotherapist who wor, who does breath. He leads breath work, seminars, workshops monthly and incorporates breath work with his, his clients. Both: Hmm. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Um. In order to have that physical, that embodied mm-hmm. Energy movement. And you're not just talking. Rich Priddis: And, and that's one of the three main points of, of Tantra, at least though the neo western tantra is, is breath, movement and sound. Yeah. And, uh, like you said, you were taught to, uh, keep all of your emotions in. And when you start learning to, uh, make sound and, you know, express those emotions and, and breathing deeply and moving your body, it's, it's a huge difference. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And, and you get 'em out and then they're no longer weighing you down. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: I mean the, the, you know, the, uh, well, I, I think one of the fun, the most fun parts is that every morning we do the ecstatic dance. Hmm. At, at the. At the retreat, and I had, uh, I had done work with Jonathan Tripod and Sedona, who I, you know, Jonathan, I believe, um, myofascial guy. And, uh, he had told me, oh, there's a, there's ecstatic dances back in 2020, right before the pandemic. There's ecstatic dance every, I don't know how every week or every three days in Sedona, something like that. And I was like, part of me really wanted to do it, but part of me was like, oh, no way. No way are we gonna go, you know, do that. And then I opened to it at, at Ista and, and, and it's great. It's very, it's so liberating Rich Priddis: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: To just be able to flail around however your body wants to flail around. Both: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Um, and so I, I say that by way of, you know, for those people listening or saying like, God, I would never do that. Or, you know, I, I've sat in, in, when I sit in circles sometimes now, or lead them, I, I forget where I was. In, in, you know, ex expressing, like if I, you know, go back to the early work, like at wit in Wickenburg, and I was, you know, I was terrified to say anything. Both: Hmm. Matt Kosterman: Um, and, and it gets better. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and, and, and I think part, a big part of all of this is learning to love ourselves and, you know, we, I personally still struggle with, um, outward validation, you know, wanting everybody to like me and, and, and sometimes we don't wanna stand up and dance because we're afraid of what somebody will say about us. You know? Yeah. But then when we really start learning to love ourselves and, and what our, what we want our body wants, then you know, more and more we can let go of all of that fear of. What anybody's gonna say about it. And Matt Kosterman: Well, and, and don't you find that ultimately that the, the judgment is, is from within? Yes. Right. One, once we let go of the judgment, you know, I, I had an experience at a wedding with my, my daughters who are adults and, and they were roughly at the wedding. And I was, I, I was, I was dancing, you know, which you do at weddings, right? And they were laughing at me. Uh, right. And I, and, and, and at the time, and I think that was, it was prita and it was like, you know, it was like a stake in my heart, right? Yeah. And I don't blame, I'm not putting any blame on them or whatever. But then ha, having done more of this work the next time I, I just, I went crazy at the wedding and I, I didn't care. The first time I cared, I was doing it. I was self-conscious about it, and I got judgment. Rich Priddis: Yep. Matt Kosterman: When I. When I was no longer self confident, conscious, and I didn't give a shit what anybody thought. Nobody judged me. They thought I was great. Oh, look at dad. Yeah, yeah. But they Rich Priddis: didn't change. I changed. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: And, and you had to actually had to step into it and, and dance again in order to get through that, if you had just shut down and said, well, I'm never gonna do this again. And, uh, Matt Kosterman: yeah, you never many how many times. Right. And how many times do we do that in life? We, oh, okay. No. Now I'm gonna go back in my box. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: So that's what Rich Priddis: this Matt Kosterman: work is all about. Stepping into it, stepping into your, your power, like you said, loving yourself. And it's such a, I don't, you know, we, we, we hear that all the time. Oh, you need to love yourself more. And it's like, you know, so what would you say that, how, what does that, what does that look like? What does that, what does that mean? Love yourself more? You know, it's Rich Priddis: funny, when I was going through all of that therapy, the six years of therapy, that's what the. Counselor, the therapist said that I need to love myself more. I literally didn't know what that meant. I mean, okay. I could say, oh, I can say I love me. Yeah. But how does it, how does it actually show up? Because in my religious upbringing, it was all about serving other people. Everything was about the other people. And, and then also, um, uh, we had a checklist of ways of being that we had to, to, you know, do, like go on a mission, for example. Mm-hmm. Be a missionary. I couldn't really choose for myself. And, um, and, and there was a lot of outward, um, judgment about whether we were worthy or not. So I had everything, nothing was about me and what I wanted. And so that was one of the things I sweat about coming out of there was like, well, what, what does it mean? How does it look? And, and I finally, um, when I finally realized that it's little things. You know, putting myself first. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: Uh, maybe like, I, I want to go dance and I don't care what anybody thinks, you know, I, I might be so concerned about other people and embarrassing them or whatever it is. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Rich Priddis: That I'm not loving myself. Matt Kosterman: And, and your, and, and your religious upbringing is really just an extreme version Both: mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Of I think what we all go through as humans. Both: Yeah. Matt Kosterman: It's, you know, in this society, at least in Western society, I think it looks a little bit different over in saving in India. Mm-hmm. Uh, perhaps, but we're, we're raised to think of the other first and what will it look like and what will people think and Rich Priddis: Yeah. Yeah. And you know, so little things like, uh, do I feel guilty if I take time out during the day from my work to go exercise? Matt Kosterman: Or have an app. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Or have an app. And so that's loving myself and I, I, I had no clue Matt Kosterman: those sorts of things. Right, right. You're, you're like, do I buy myself a diamond ring? What do I what Both: mean? Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Valentine cards. What, what is it? What, what does loving me look like? Rich Priddis: And, and yeah. It's, it's a real struggle for so many of us, uh, probably all of us in certain ways to, um, to say, yeah, I deserve to say, go to this retreat and Right. And stretch myself and do these weird things that I never would've, you know, thought of doing before, but I'm just gonna do it because it's what I need. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. I think you, um, I was talking to somebody the other day, was it, and we were talking about this, you know, that, that fear. Uh, you know, there's, there's always, when I, when I go and even when I go, uh, take a medicine journey now, and I've had dozens of them Rich Priddis: mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: You know, there's, there's a little bit of anxiety. Where are we gonna go? What's gonna happen? Mm-hmm. But, and unless you're willing to step into that fear, and it doesn't have to be a massive fear, I'm not saying, you know, jump off the couch and go drink ayahuasca for the first time. Rich Priddis: Right. Matt Kosterman: Um, but you're not really, I think there's, uh, the aliveness is lost if you're not, where's that edge? Where's that little can, can you push just a little bit further than your comfort zone? Rich Priddis: Yeah. And that's something I was, um, just reading about recently, is I'll just say as people get older, um, they tend to stop doing things like that to keep them alive. Right. You know, they, they let the, the fear or the unknown, keep 'em on the couch. And then, and then they die. And then they die because they got, because there, there's no life left. And so, yeah. Um, what, Matt Kosterman: what kind of, so you, you started as, as I did with Landmark. What other, what other stuff do you like that's out there in Landmark? Ista. Kosh? Rich Priddis: Yeah. The Q um, the, the Dear Tribe does the kka. It's a similar thing to what Ista does, but it's only on the week. It's a weekend rather than a week. Yeah. And they, they have a different approach, kind of a Native American way of teaching things with the directions and the elements. Okay. Okay. Uh, and they get more into the, the physical aspects of the body, like. Different types of genitals and what they mean and, you know, all kinds of symbolism. Okay. Yeah. Uh, the Human Awareness Institute is similar where they, they have their own approach. Yeah. It's also weak weekends, they call it the high HAI. Matt Kosterman: Okay. Rich Priddis: The, um, you know, I, I like that. I, I haven't did Oing, do you, do you know, uh, oh, I don't know. Matt Kosterman: Homing. Rich Priddis: What's homing? Oing is, uh, something that was popular for a while where, um, you, there, there's, you're, you're taught as a man to hold space for a woman, and ultimately you're stroking the woman's clit very gently. Okay. And letting her have her orgasmic experience. Oing is, or, uh, or orgasmic meditation. Oh, interesting. Okay. Uh, very interesting. Just another tool in the toolbox, I figured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But big groups would get together and the whole room would be doing this, and the, and the man would just be holding space. Totally clothed. Okay. And, um, and it was all about the woman feeling safe to have this experience and to receive. To receive. Yeah. Um, yeah, lots of interesting things out though. Did I say Shamanic de Armoring? No. Another thing that Deer Tribe does, deer Tribe does that. Yeah. It's a two week event where you, you go in the evenings during the week, so you can still work during the day and then the full days on the weekend for two weeks. And, uh, it's all about, um, you know, uh, shedding this. Protective armor, energetic armor that we have. The, the walls, the blocks, the, sure, yeah. There's Matt Kosterman: also, uh, I, I assisted, uh, at I over in Sweden last summer and the week prior, the retreat center held a, a two week intimacy camp that they do every week. Oh Rich Priddis: yeah. Matt Kosterman: Every summer. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I think it's pronounced Shep, it looks like in English, it looks like skep, SU. Mm-hmm. Uh, but Rich Priddis: yeah. Yeah. So many things like that. And then you mentioned, uh, plant medicine. I've, I've experienced, uh, a lot of that and I am, uh, I'm not really feeling called to it these days so much, but I, you know, I've tried ayahuasca and iboga and Oh, you went the iboga route. Oh, that's intense. Oh, that was amazing. Both: Yeah. Rich Priddis: That's very intense. Yeah. That's still on my list. Um, but, uh, mushrooms, I love, I love some of the experiences I've had. There were, uh, actually. After I left my marriage and had another partner, we had a really hard time communicating about some things and, and once we got on the mushrooms, we could actually talk about it. Matt Kosterman: Oh Rich Priddis: yeah. Matt Kosterman: I mean, MM DM A is another, Molly's another lovely one for couples work. Mm-hmm. For hard opening. Yeah. And, and so there's a, Rich Priddis: there's a, you know, place for all of that too. Yeah. You know, all the plant medicine and, um, and then I just, I've done a lot of studying. Sure. Reading. Yeah. Abraham Matt Kosterman: Hicks and, mm-hmm. Um, uh, I saw, I saw Esther a couple summers ago. She was in Chicago. Yeah. I saw her live too. Did you see her live? It's pretty fun. Yeah. Are you familiar with Paul Sig? No. I don't know. Oh, you might enjoy Paul Sig. Okay. He, I've, I've seen him, I've gone a couple of his workshops this year, and he's a very, very clear channel for Za Deck, which is an order of ascended masters. Both: Hmm. Matt Kosterman: And he's channeled now, uh, for just, I was in North Carolina for the, the conclusion of the 14th book that he's channeled. Wow. The first one is, uh, is I Am the Word. Um, okay. It's called and, uh, it was the, my first experience of reading a book and having energy move through my body. Rich Priddis: Oh, Matt Kosterman: interesting. Yeah. And I was like, oh, there's, there's something to this. Yeah. Uh, so I've, I've invited him to be on the podcast. We'll, see, I would love to have Paul on the podcast. He's a fascinating story. Yeah. And amazing. That's all good stuff. Yeah. Rich Priddis: You know, it's interesting where you find the. Things. I, I remember, uh, before I did Ista, I, I read, uh, think and Grow Rich. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: There's, I think it's chapter 11 where he talks about, uh, sex transmutation. Both: Mm-hmm. Rich Priddis: And Both: I was, Rich Priddis: whoa. That's interesting. And, uh, and somehow I got out of that, this idea where if I pleasure during meditation or prayer, that it raises my vibrations. Okay. More in line with, you know, receiving whatever I need to receive. But, you know, think and grow Rich. That's where I got that idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You never know Matt Kosterman: will it? There's another set of, uh, material called the, the law of one, the Raw Contact ra. Both: Mm-hmm. Matt Kosterman: Um, and it came from the early eighties. It was three people and they were channeling through, there was a, a woman, Carla, and she was the channel. Um, but Ra, who's another entity, a collective entity, uh, uh, taught I wanted, I'm glad we got this opening 'cause I wanted to wrap this back around and they talk about. You know, I mean, sex is ultimately a creative act. It's the ultimate creative act, the act of, of intercourse. Yeah. Um, and it can be used, um, for creativity beyond just a, a child creating another human. Um, but they talked about, to your point about, you know, masturbation during meditation, that the, the sex, the, the act of intercourse, um, when done consciously, and, you know, in the ways that we've talked about is very, very healing for the body, for both bodies, for the physical bodies. Um, yeah. And they would, Carla was in a relationship with at least one of the two men. And, and Rah would say, you know, they, they talked about how yes, they, she had some physical ailments, some arthritis and some blockages and whatnot, but they would have intercourse in order to better prepare her to receive the channeling. Rich Priddis: Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Matt Kosterman: I'm sure some of the people out there are like, you guys have gone off the reservation. Rich Priddis: No, it's, it's true. There's, you've heard of Sex Magic, you know? Yeah. That's, and then, uh, uh, sex is good for transformation. I, I've, I've, I've experienced people, like their body's just rewiring after intercourse after Oh, interesting. Uh, being well fucked, I'll say. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, um, just vibrating and rewiring and, and, um, it's just an amazing thing to experience where they Yeah. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. And it's so, it's so frustrating, you know, fighting against this societal, these norms and these, the, this shaming around this whole idea of the body and, and sex. 'cause it's all very natural as long as it's done with two consenting adults. Rich Priddis: Right. Exactly. Matt Kosterman: Um. Rich Priddis: That's what I'm all about is trying to make it normal. Yeah. Just normalize. Yep. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Well, thanks Rich. This has been amazing. Yeah. A wide ranging discussion. Rich Priddis: Yeah. I enjoyed Matt Kosterman: it. Yeah. It's great to see you. And I'll Yeah, I'll have, uh, I'll have your info, contact info in the little blurbs at the bottom of the podcast so people can get a hold of you. Rich Priddis: Thank you. Matt Kosterman: And, uh, it was great to, to see. Yeah. There's a, Rich Priddis: there's a website I'm on now called sacred aeros.com. I just Sacred aeros. Yeah. Got on there. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. Pop that in there too. And, Rich Priddis: uh, um, so, so where do you live now? Matt Kosterman: I'm in Chicago. Okay. Yeah, because you were talking Rich Priddis: about being in Arizona. Matt Kosterman: I've done, I've done a lot of work and I've been to Sedona several times for work. My, my initial opening, if you will, was at a place called The Meadows in Wickenburg. Yeah. P Melody, inner Inner Child stuff. Okay. Um, so yeah, Arizona's a magical place for me. Rich Priddis: Awesome. I didn't know Wickenburg had anything magical. That's cool. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. It's So you, yeah. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a therapist in Wickenburg. There's all kind of treatment centers. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rich Priddis: Oh, okay. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. The Meadows is a full, it's an addiction treatment facility, and I went for an outpatient week, uh, that they call Survivors Week. I went 16 years ago. Rich Priddis: That was Sedona. Matt Kosterman: Yeah. No, that was Wickenburg. Rich Priddis: Oh, Wickenburg. Okay. Matt Kosterman: They might have, they might, Meadows might have something in Sedona, but I went to Wickenburg and I stayed in a hotel, but I You're, you're with, um, and it's a great program. It really was my first ex, my first experience of an opening. Both: Mm. Matt Kosterman: Where I came out of there and I was transformed. I, I was, you know, walking through the airport thinking, oh, I love you and I love you, and you're beautiful. Yes. Right. You know, and I, I, I came back to the company that I was running and the woman that worked for me, nobody knew where I had gone. I just said I was going to a workshop and she said, I knew you were different when you walked through the door, which was 25 feet away. She said, I could tell you were different. Um, and that was back right before my divorce in 20 2009. Um, so very grateful for that work. It was group, small group therapy, working with the same 5, 6, 7 people, um, all day. And, uh, psychodrama and the stories and um, meditation. That was my introduction to meditation. I came back, my kids were young and I'm like, you know, we're gonna come on kids. And they were like, God, what were they like six, five, and eight? We're gonna do a candle meditation. I'm like, dad, you're fucking crazy. What are you talking about? Both: Yeah, Matt Kosterman: we're gonna stare at this candle for, you know, 20 minutes. No, we're not. Rich Priddis: That's amazing. I, I had the same kind of experience after my first ista. I, I call it like walking on air. I was doing the same thing where I, everybody was just so amazing and I felt like I loved him. It was interesting that I, because of my energy, it felt like people interacted with me differently. Yeah, yeah. And so it's cool that you had that experience. Matt Kosterman: Yeah, I, yeah. Number, I mean, I, I chase those, yeah. I chase those experiences, you know, there. And the pana, uh, 10 day meditation retreat, um, takes you to the take, took me to the same place as, as my first mushroom ceremony. It just took 10 days to get there instead of, instead of three hours, but yeah. Um, but it's, it's all within us. We can, we can tap it, we can access it. That's awesome. Rich Priddis: Well, Matt Kosterman: beautiful. So fun talking to you. Yeah, likewise, Rich Priddis: rich. Great to see you. Be well, we'll be in touch. Okay, you too. Cheers. Bye.