Latest / Mommywood / Tristan Cunningham: Doing Everything Right… and Still Wondering If It’s Enough

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Tristan Cunningham: Doing Everything Right… and Still Wondering If It’s Enough · Mommywood

0:02
Welcome to Mommy would, the podcast where motherhood meets
0:06
Hollywood, real moms, real talk, no scripts.
0:10
I'm your host Emily Bolt, and we are talking about the messy,
0:14
funny and unfiltered side of being a mom in the entertainment
0:18
industry. On this episode of Mommy Would,
0:20
I am joined by the incredibly talented and so, so lovely
0:25
Tristan Cunningham, someone you've probably seen without
0:28
even realizing how much she's has already been shaping the
0:31
stories that you're watching. She is a working actor in the
0:35
truest sense of the word, constantly auditioning,
0:37
building, constantly living in a space.
0:39
Also that so many of us don't talk about enough.
0:42
The in between times you you definitely know her from the
0:48
Hulu Series A Reasonable Doubt, where she brings such depth to a
0:55
world that is a messy, it's high stakes, it's emotionally
0:59
charged. But what I love about her work
1:01
is that it never feels performative.
1:03
It feels very lived in. And that's really what we're
1:08
getting into today. Not just the roles we see on
1:10
screen, but the reality behind them, the uncertainty, the
1:14
pressure, the comparison, the moments where you're working and
1:20
still somehow wondering if you're quote UN quote on track.
1:25
We also talk, of course, about motherhood and identity and what
1:29
it looks like to build a creative life while raising a
1:32
family. Tristan is a single mom, so her
1:35
story is definitely different and more unique.
1:39
And I love her story and the way she talks about her daughter.
1:44
It's just so beautiful and she's such a powerhouse, such an
1:51
amazing woman, such an amazing actor, such an amazing mom.
1:55
We we talk about how all of this stuff shifts when you become a
2:01
mom, how you, how you see your career, how you see your time,
2:05
how you see yourself, how all of that shifts.
2:10
So if you've ever felt like you're doing everything right
2:13
and still questioning if it's enough, and then this
2:16
conversation is really going to hit home.
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Tristan was so incredibly warm and open in our conversations.
2:29
It was so lovely to talk with her and I love her so much.
2:36
So I know you are going to love this episode of Mommy Wood with
2:41
Tristan Cunningham. Tristan, I'm so excited to have
2:46
you as a part of Mommy Would. We've had to reschedule because
2:50
Babe was sick. How's she feeling now?
2:52
She's feeling good. Thank you for that.
2:54
That's like a a lesson as as a mom that I've learned.
2:58
It's like sometimes your plans get derailed and you're like,
3:00
I'm going this way today. You got to do it, You got to do
3:03
it. Can you tell us her name and
3:07
age? Yeah, my daughter is named
3:09
Jelena Joy Cunningham, and she's 20 months old. 20 months old.
3:14
Wait, so when is her birthday? June 14th.
3:17
Mine is June 6th, my daughter's is June 16th.
3:20
What? OK birth.
3:22
They're almost birthday twins. Close just two years apart.
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So here's two days, two days. That'll be easy to.
3:31
Remember, what's a year? Yeah, it's bad, but Oh my gosh.
3:36
And you are a single mom, Yes. Yes.
3:40
And is that, is that by choice? Was there a what?
3:45
What's the story of, you know, motherhood?
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Yeah, I would love to share because I like to talk about it
3:51
openly. Like sometimes there's some
3:52
shame around it and I don't think that that's necessary.
3:56
You know, we're all sort of in our own situation.
3:58
Some people are with a partner and still single mom.
4:00
So yeah. So Jelena was, I don't like to
4:05
say. I like to say like a surprise,
4:07
not a mistake because I I didn't have plans.
4:10
I'm I'm having a child. But she came into my life and
4:16
her father chose to not be in her life.
4:19
So it was a choice. And I had sort of made it clear
4:22
like I, I would like to have this child.
4:25
And so he went on his way. He hasn't been in her life
4:28
since. He's never met her or seen her
4:31
even on her birthday. Her name is Jelena Joy
4:33
Cunningham. I'm Tristan Cunningham.
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So I got to name her after myself, which is kind of a treat
4:38
in the mix of things. And I had tried prior to this,
4:45
I, I knew I wanted to be a mom for a long time.
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So I had done in vitro before and it didn't work.
4:51
So I kind of like had emotionally prepared on like,
4:54
what would it look like to do this by myself already?
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And so I was sort of lucky in that way that I had done the
5:00
like spiritual emotional work, like, is this possible for me?
5:04
Is this something I want? So I was like, all right, well,
5:06
I'm, you know, I did, I, I had done it a year prior.
5:09
So I was like, I already did that sort of like grounding work
5:12
to be prepared for this. So here we are.
5:15
Wow, that's. Amazing, that's that.
5:19
That's so strange how that tends to work out.
5:22
I've heard that so many times. Where?
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People come and. Go and then it just happens and
5:27
it's like obviously amazing, but it's like I know that that that
5:33
is not cheap and it's not an easy route for anyone to take.
5:38
So it's probably a little bittersweet of like things
5:42
happening on their own. You're like, yes.
5:45
No, I appreciate you for saying that because I had to be like
5:48
really. But then I was like, really, you
5:50
know, like it happened, you know, and, and I think these
5:53
things sort of like there's so many ways to be a parent, you
5:56
know, if it comes through you or through somebody else or
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whatever, you know, we're sort of like taught that there's only
6:02
one way, but I think there's a lot of different ways.
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And I was like, this is OK, this is the way that it that it
6:06
happened. So I'm going to be OK with that.
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But I have my moment of like, you have to be kidding me, you
6:13
know? I would also have that moment
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and that goes with finding that motherhood life in general, that
6:20
some multiple multiple things can be true at the same time and
6:25
so many different feelings can happen all at once.
6:28
Like as parents we're always like I love my kid but they're
6:34
being really annoying or I. Am very frustrated.
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Exactly. So are you OK so?
6:44
Yeah, ask me anything. Let's OK, so we'll get back to
6:49
the single motherhood. Let's go back to where you're
6:53
originally from and tell me about the circus.
7:02
You said that so gently. I appreciate you.
7:04
People are like, are you a clown?
7:05
Let's just get real. Yeah.
7:08
So I was born in Vermont, which is also like people are like, is
7:13
there black people in Vermont? Does that exist?
7:15
And there is there's a small population of Jamaican families
7:17
there because some Jamaicans came to pick apples.
7:21
And so there's a there's a few of our families there.
7:26
So I was born in Vermont. I went to school before.
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I went to school for acting way before, you know, it's very high
7:35
level in gymnastics. I just like knew my body and I,
7:38
you know, you know, school was tough for me, like sitting down
7:41
and being still. But when it came to movement and
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music and and acrobatics, I was like, really, I really excelled.
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And my mom saw that I actually grew up with a single mom too.
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And so she got me into this circus called Circus Smirkus.
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And you leave school a little bit early.
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You train intensively in a barn. You live in a barn with a bunch
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of other youth that have been picked out of thousands.
8:02
You train. Sorry, go ahead.
8:05
How like what age is this like? This.
8:07
Yeah. So it ranged.
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I started when I was 9. It ranges from 9 to 18.
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Once you're 18, you you've graduated out.
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So it is a it is a the youth circus.
8:17
And then we tour around New England in a giant tent and
8:20
perform. You have like responsibilities
8:22
like a professional artist. So it was like, you know, I give
8:25
I always, you know, thanks circus Marcus, because they
8:28
really made me the person I am today.
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And like, you know, there was a lot going on in my sort of
8:35
upbringing and in my childhood, but in the circus ring, you
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know, that narrative didn't follow me.
8:39
I got to be a star. And so I really found my my
8:42
wings as as an actor in the circus ring.
8:45
And they were kind enough to tell me like you might, and I
8:49
still do circus. I still teach circus.
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But they were kind enough to be like, you're an actor because I
8:54
would get really into the themes and like create a character name
8:56
and they'd be like, Tristan, it's time for you to, you know,
8:58
for your ACT. I'd be like, I'm not Tristan.
9:00
I'm queen da da da. Like I was really into it.
9:03
And they were like, we think you're an actor.
9:06
So I went from there. Once I, once I got old enough, I
9:09
went to audition at SUNY Purchase in the Theatre Arts and
9:12
Film Conservatory. And it was funny because I did,
9:15
I did a Shakespeare monologue, one of the witches from the
9:19
Scottish play, and I did a bunch of like backflips and stuff like
9:21
that. And they were like, OK, come
9:23
back with just like the words because I was like flipping and
9:27
turning and they're like the words we want.
9:31
That was awesome. Let's have a monologue.
9:35
So I ended up going back. I got called back and then I
9:37
ended up getting in to SUNY Purchase and their Theater Arts
9:41
and Film Conservatory. And then wait, what did you ask
9:47
me? I got excited about the circus.
9:48
Oh, how I got in the circus. Yeah.
9:49
So then I, you know, kind of transitioned into acting, but I
9:53
always still did circus. It's been a real tool for me.
9:57
And like, you know, the ebbs, the hi baby, the ebbs and flows
10:02
of our careers. It's and, and circus has been
10:05
something that is, you know, sustainable in that and also
10:08
still taps into the performer side.
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So like, cuz I, you know, in, in New York, right when I
10:16
graduated, I got a restaurant job like the rest of my friends,
10:18
cuz that's what actors do. And I was like, you know what,
10:21
I'd rather juggle on the side. You know, it's been, you know, a
10:26
really solid thing for me as I negotiate what, what Hollywood
10:31
is these days and what not. Yeah, no, it's so amazing to
10:34
find something that you love to do.
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That's also performing. That can also be kind of a day
10:45
job or like an in between thing that you can come back to as
10:49
well. I have the utmost respect for
10:53
you because I cannot even do a cartwheel.
10:56
It's so, so sad. And we can work at Emily.
10:58
Don't worry, it's in there. It's funny because now at this
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point, I'm like, I'll break every bone in my body and like
11:07
my first acting class, I mean, in college they were like, I
11:12
guess it wasn't, it must have been an acting class, but they
11:15
were like, you have to learn to juggle or else you can't pass
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this class. I did not learn how to juggle,
11:20
but I did pass. But I was like, I could, I could
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I just so man, kudos to you because I, it is not, I mean,
11:30
even just those things and those are the bare minimum of things
11:33
to be able to do. I, it's possible to me, I cannot
11:38
do it. And I've put my daughter in
11:39
gymnastics because I will not have her be like me and not be
11:43
able to do anything. No, it's so good.
11:45
Like that stuff, just knowing your body in that light is
11:48
really good. And that teacher was harsh.
11:50
Like learning to juggle takes time, but I do think it's it's
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useful. And I've gotten Emily to use it.
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Like there was a series of commercials I did for a bank in
12:00
Canada and I got it because I could juggle.
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And when I went into the audition, they were like few.
12:06
So many people said they could juggle and couldn't.
12:08
You actually can juggle. So in in the pandemic, I was
12:11
giving free Zoom juggling classes because I was like,
12:13
actors listen, it's helpful. I should have taken it you.
12:17
Might get a national commercial because you can juggle and
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they're like, yeah, Tristan, you just want someone to juggle
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with. And that's true too.
12:23
That is true too. But.
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That's amazing. So what brought you from the
12:31
East Coast to the West? I mean, obviously acting, but
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what was your reason for coming out to LA?
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Yeah, it's a great question. Yeah.
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That's where we sort of left off.
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Thank you. I was like, and where am I in my
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life story? So, yeah, I was on the East
12:48
Coast for a while in New York. You know, I love New York, but
12:51
it's it it can be brutal, especially if you're sort of not
12:54
work. I was stuck in the like do
12:56
theater for stipends kind of area and I got an opportunity to
13:00
do a theater, a youth theater piece in the Bay Area and I plan
13:04
to go back to New York. I was like sublet my apartment.
13:07
I will be back New York, don't you worry.
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And then I came to Oakland and I was like, oh this.
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So first of all the weather, I was like this, I can't.
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New York winters are brutal. Sorry, New Yorkers, I love
13:22
y'all, but it is brutal and I noticed in the Bay Area, you
13:27
know, they have this really amazing thriving or or they did
13:30
at the time it shifted now, but like thriving theater community
13:34
and I saw that I could like become equity and that's
13:37
something, you know, not judging anybody who doesn't want to be
13:40
in the union at all, but it was something that was important to
13:42
me to be in SAG and to be in the AEA like the for theater as
13:47
well. And so I saw the ability to do
13:50
it. So I was like, oh, this is where
13:53
this is where I'm going to be. And I did a bunch of theatre up
13:55
in the Bay Area, really, really amazing pieces.
13:59
And then I started getting auditions for like Grey's
14:02
Anatomy and stuff. And I would drive down to LA and
14:04
like roll in there. Those are probably some of the
14:06
worst auditions they ever saw. It's like, hi, I just drove 6
14:11
hours. Where should we start?
14:12
You know? And so I was like, OK, I, I'm
14:15
seeing the signs. It's time to to come to LA and
14:19
show and sort of shift to film and television.
14:22
And I think there's like a narrative or at least I was
14:25
telling myself this. So I say it for anybody else.
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Like I didn't think I was good enough for LA or was I like
14:31
pretty enough or thin enough or whatever, all these things.
14:36
And I had like created this LA beast like, but then when I came
14:40
down here, like it didn't, it didn't exist.
14:41
That was sort of a narrative that I was creating or maybe
14:44
others were creating. And I, and you know, of course
14:48
it takes time here. I've auditioned 1000 times and
14:50
gotten very little. But it also is approachable.
14:54
Like if you want to be in LA and, and and work there, you
14:56
can. I just want to say that because
14:58
it took me years to really get the confidence to be like I'm
15:00
worthy of being here. Well, I'm glad and you
15:03
definitely are. Definitely.
15:06
And I I feel the same way about the when I moved out here too, I
15:10
was thinking I was like, oh shit, everyone's going to be a
15:13
supermodel. Everyone's going to have big
15:15
fake boobs. Everyone's and don't get me
15:17
wrong, a lot of people are supermodels and and gorgeous,
15:21
but it is like you find your people and it's also like not
15:27
like these supermodels are like walking down the street in like
15:32
runway outfit. I don't know.
15:34
I had the same like type of, you know, I think what maybe the
15:41
majority of people who have never been here or aren't out
15:45
here kind of have that vibe about LA.
15:47
It's very, you know, shallow, shall we say, is I think what
15:54
people just assume. But yeah, you find your people
15:58
and it's not. And I think if you're coming and
16:04
you're not the shallow person, you're like, oh, no, we're here.
16:06
We're really like, really want to act.
16:09
And I feel like especially coming from New York to where
16:13
it's like, you know, they have the same vibe of like or not
16:17
vibe assumption that it's like we're serious actors in New York
16:22
and we do. Plays like theatre, yeah.
16:25
Study. Yeah, yeah.
16:27
Yeah. LA we just want to be in TV and
16:29
movies and be pretty and make money and Delilah and it's like
16:33
OK, but as actors are we're in both places, right?
16:39
All actors want to be OK generalizing, but all actors who
16:44
are actor actors want to be good actors They want to do the work
16:49
they want to do that, but also like actors and people want to
16:56
make money have a living. Some people want to be famous.
17:01
You want to be good looking and whatever all all of the things
17:05
again it goes back to everything being true at once.
17:11
Amazing. So you're out in LA, you're
17:13
doing the auditions, you've now we are in our worthy, worthy
17:22
thinking. So how and you?
17:25
Were. You have been working and like
17:29
like Connor's NCIS like that stuff.
17:32
What brought you, how did reasonable doubt come up?
17:35
And is that more of like the first thing that's been more
17:43
regular? Yeah, yeah.
17:47
And it took, it took a minute. Thanks for asking all this.
17:50
I have to say, it's nice to share, you know, like we're just
17:53
doing our self tapes and our journey all by ourselves.
17:55
And it's nice to be like, this is what I experienced.
18:00
Yeah. So when I first came to LA, it
18:03
didn't happen right away. It takes time, you know, and I
18:05
had a lot of people say it's a numbers game and I and I think
18:07
that's true and not true. Like I think some casting
18:10
directors got to know me and, and, and one of my acting
18:15
coaches, her name is Lilac. She's incredible.
18:16
She's always just like our goal is not to book everything.
18:19
It's just to get on the shortlist.
18:20
Like an actor. They know that they can get a
18:22
strong tape from and see if you fit because you don't fit
18:24
everything. And that was that was hard for
18:27
me. And then also like learning
18:29
where to fit because, you know, you start with Co stars and I
18:32
would get a Co star and like, you know, tape with her and I'd
18:35
be sobbing and she's like, you know, I you're a strong actor,
18:38
Tristan, that's great. That's not what this is.
18:42
You are the wallpaper. You just need to be a nurse who
18:44
relays the message that their partner passed away.
18:47
You are serving the star of the show or the character in this
18:50
show. So that was hard for me too,
18:52
because my ego want to be like, but I can I can give you all
18:55
this. And it it it it it Co stars
18:58
aren't that. So that was a learning curve for
19:00
sure. And maybe some people come to LA
19:03
and they start booking guest stars or recurring, but that,
19:05
you know, I was only getting Co star auditions in the beginning.
19:09
So I had to kind of learn like what what does the show need and
19:12
what are the writers like telling me already as opposed to
19:16
like what I want, as opposed to me being like, I'm talented, you
19:21
know, So that was a big. But once I sort of understood
19:24
that and like put my ego a little to the side, I I started
19:28
booking some Co stars and it was great.
19:30
And it was it was really nice just to like be on set again,
19:34
those narratives like feeling like I was worthy to be there,
19:37
feeling more comfortable. You know, you, you go on set and
19:39
there's 40 people and you do a rehearsal and there's, you know,
19:44
everyone's moving fast and someone's tugging you and fixing
19:47
your wardrobe and you're like, and then in the midst of that,
19:52
you're trying to like remain calm and cool.
19:53
You're like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
19:55
And inside, you know, like the first sitcom I did for the
19:58
Connors, you know, that was that was with a live audience.
20:00
I mean, that was like a whole experience.
20:04
But we'll get into all that. So I started in, you know, with
20:08
some Co stars here and there and then I got kind of like stuck in
20:12
Co star land, which I was OK with.
20:14
And I think as you probably know, guest stars are kind of
20:17
switching into Co stars. They were like some pretty meaty
20:20
Co stars that maybe like in the past would have been guest
20:23
stars. But my manager was definitely
20:26
like, all right, we got to get out of costar land.
20:28
So she pitched me for reasonable doubt, which was awesome.
20:33
But I was also like, all right, am I ready?
20:35
You know, am I ready for a guest star?
20:37
Which I totally was. So if anybody is like
20:39
questioning that, just know that you are.
20:42
And if you're not, you won't get it.
20:44
But if it's meant to be for you, you will.
20:47
And they, and it's funny because I always thought guest stars are
20:51
reoccurring. They're going to bring me into
20:52
the office, of course, like they have to see in person.
20:54
I did it all on Zoom. I did the original audition was
20:58
a self tape and then the callback was on Zoom.
21:01
And I went to log in for the Zoom and the first little square
21:05
that came up was Kerry Washington.
21:06
And I was like. I literally just got chilled.
21:10
I think I would throw up like how that's so hard.
21:12
I guess once you're in the, that's what did you do.
21:17
I know. I was like, remain calm and and
21:19
the thing with auditioning on zoom for me, I'm I'm a I'm a
21:23
energy person. So I already feel a little
21:26
disconnected when I'm on zoom and I'm always thinking in the
21:29
back of my head, Emily, is the Internet connection good?
21:31
Is it glitching? Is it is the Internet like I I
21:34
get out of the the scene because I'm worried like is it can you
21:39
hear me? OK, good.
21:40
And I'm back. You know, I guess that's.
21:42
So fair. I'll think that too, because I
21:45
mean, even even in like when I'm talking to people on Zoom, like
21:50
for an interview, because I want to give people breath to, you
21:55
know, speak. But then it's like, if there's a
21:58
little like lag, then too, I'm like, I'm like, there, are they
22:04
pausing or did I stop? Like, you know, sometimes.
22:07
Right. Is it frozen?
22:08
I feel that. It's so hard.
22:12
I wonder if maybe that helped, though, not being in the room
22:18
because like, we're used to seeing Kerry Washington on our
22:21
screen. So maybe that was a little.
22:23
I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
22:25
You know, I will say like with the reason about doubt team
22:28
across the board, they really make, you know, on set and just
22:33
cuz I know them well now because we're, you know, going into
22:35
season 4, like they make you feel comfortable and they
22:37
definitely did in that audition. I got to do it several times.
22:40
It was 7 pages. So I felt like I got to show
22:43
what I got. The curl Seton was the director
22:46
of that episode. He gave me many different
22:48
versions, things that we didn't end up doing it all.
22:51
But I think just to see like do I want to work with this person,
22:54
you know, or what? Who knows what was in his head.
22:56
I shouldn't assume, but they made me feel very comfortable,
23:01
so I was able to sort of like calm down and, and, and, and,
23:06
you know, do what I do. Yeah.
23:07
What season did you sorry? What season did you come in for?
23:12
I came in season 1 but later not till episode 7.
23:16
Right, because because I was wondering how it was, I was
23:19
like, I know you're not in the very beginning, but it was what
23:22
was it like kind of stepping into that world that like
23:26
because the show is very it can be intense and layered, but
23:30
like, what was it like stepping into it?
23:35
I mean, I guess you weren't like later, but not being like in the
23:40
first episode or you know what I mean?
23:42
Yeah, I, I totally feel and I think it's like.
23:45
Yeah. You know, for where I met in my
23:48
career, and I'm not saying I I won't be a number one on a call
23:51
sheet at some point, maybe I will.
23:52
And I would love that. But like when you're like #37
23:56
you know, I think it's a really good question.
23:57
Like how do you like stay grounded and like understand the
24:00
show, but you have so little information.
24:03
I mean, my friends don't believe me.
24:04
They'll ask me stuff about the show and I'm like, I only got to
24:06
read the episodes I'm in and they're like, no, you know more.
24:10
I'm like, I don't we're we're given so little information.
24:16
You know, I think the number one obviously in the showrunners,
24:18
they, you know, are number 23. They probably know more or some
24:22
big name actors. But yeah, and I will say this
24:27
like when I came on to reasonable doubt, you know, it's
24:30
it's it's a it's a very black show.
24:32
So immediately, you know, that was a place of comfort for me
24:36
for sure. But like.
24:39
We're not in Vermont anymore. People have.
24:41
No, I'm not. Your girl is not I think it was
24:45
Shannon actually who you did an interview with prior.
24:48
I think Shannon was like, I went to go in the makeup chair and
24:51
they were like, Shannon was like, hey, you know, she's the
24:53
kindest, most welcoming person ever.
24:54
She's like, hey, what's up? And then she was like, you know,
24:56
we don't like Tony, my character, because, you know, I
24:59
mess with the with the lead of the show for y'all who haven't
25:03
seen it. I won't give a spoiler alert,
25:05
but I am not you know, I'm hated going to the stories.
25:09
I am hated. I've been yelled at on the
25:10
street. But yeah, I think it was
25:13
Shannon. She was like, but we don't like
25:14
Tony. So already I realized, you know,
25:17
this is a set where it's like, we can play.
25:20
They're welcoming. I see my people.
25:22
So that really helped me to feel more comfortable.
25:26
And then most of my stuff is with McKinley Freeman, who is
25:28
the kindest human being in on the planet.
25:32
And we had to get intimate really fast.
25:34
You know, I'm sure you've done intimacy stuff.
25:36
I mean, it's intense. It's like, hi, I'm Tristan.
25:39
OK, let's kiss. You know, it's like.
25:42
I know. So we got tight really fast just
25:45
because he's been in the game for a long time.
25:48
I think he knew, you know, that I wasn't new to acting, but like
25:51
a little bit more new to television and the and how fast
25:54
the process is. So he was he was just always
25:55
like, are you cool? You OK with this?
25:57
You know, like, does this feel OK?
26:00
So that, you know, all that stuff helped.
26:02
And then the showrunner, Rama Muhammad, you know, she is just,
26:05
she just holds a wonderful space.
26:07
So I was able to to, you know, sometimes on set I feel like I
26:11
can't ask questions or I've always, you know, felt like
26:15
that, especially as a Co star because they're like, you are
26:16
the bottom of my list. Your line hit your mark.
26:20
Exactly. And do what you do.
26:21
And I and I think, you know, don't over ask questions.
26:24
You know, I'm not giving it actors any advice, but I think,
26:27
you know, we've all been with that person that over asks and
26:30
it's like, OK, but I think like, I just want to say like it is OK
26:34
to ask questions. And I felt that unreasonable
26:35
doubt, like, Hey, I have this line and like, can I, you know,
26:39
is there a little context about the history?
26:41
Oh, that makes it make sense. But that's not I wouldn't know
26:44
unless I read all the episodes, right.
26:47
And I felt like I could ask that on that set.
26:50
And then I was just really blessed with like, I don't think
26:54
this is a spoiler alert for anybody, but like my so I ended
26:58
up getting pregnant right as circling back and that and it
27:02
was this lovely surprise. And you know, I was nervous.
27:06
I think it's, I think it's tough as a as, you know, a female
27:10
identifying human when you get pregnant.
27:12
Like, uh oh, what about my career?
27:14
And you don't want to be shallow like that, but it's a reality.
27:17
And booking this was huge for me, you know, as a game changer
27:20
for my career, for my finances, for my joy and spirit of acting,
27:26
because it's such a fun show. And I thought, OK, I'm going to
27:30
having a child is what I'm going to do.
27:32
And so I, I'm willing to have them write me off, You know, I'm
27:35
going to, and it, and I will say this, sorry to my team, but I'm,
27:39
I'm an honest person. They were like, don't tell them.
27:42
And I wasn't comfortable with that because you're going to
27:46
know. And also what about my body?
27:48
And what if I can't deliver what they need on the show?
27:51
You know, I'm just not that type of person.
27:53
I'm like, I cannot hold a secret like that.
27:56
So I told, I think I told Rama, I just went directly to the
28:02
showrunner and said, you know, or no, it wasn't Rama.
28:05
I'm lying to you as the wardrobe person was like, hey, we want to
28:08
do a fitting for Season 2 with you.
28:11
And then I said, I have to tell you, I'm four months pregnant
28:13
and I get I got a text from Romla.
28:16
I think it was a text or a call. And they were like, let's have a
28:19
zoom. And I thought, OK, they're going
28:20
to fire me. That's what's going to happen.
28:22
And that's OK. You know, I'm creating a life
28:24
like that's what's important. And it so it turns out that she
28:29
had written that my character got pregnant.
28:31
No. Before I even had a baby, before
28:36
I was, before I even got pregnant.
28:38
I'm going to cry. I know like and so and.
28:43
It just work. Wow.
28:47
And it just the timing worked perfectly with how Tony was
28:51
pregnant on the show. So I got to be, I know I got to
28:55
be really pregnant as my character and as myself.
28:59
And I'll just share this with you too, because she said, and I
29:03
said, you know, my team didn't want me to tell you, but I
29:06
really wanted to be honest. And she said, either way, I
29:08
would have made it work. And that speaks to who Ramla is,
29:12
but it also just speaks to, like, the fear of, like, trying
29:16
to hide it or feeling like you can't be a woman and work.
29:21
She said, either way, I would have made it work.
29:25
And so I really like to share that because, you know, I was
29:28
terrified. And I was ready to just be like,
29:32
goodbye to this. Maybe I'll never work again.
29:35
They're probably going to be livid with me.
29:38
And then the stars align that my character was pregnant.
29:41
And and one last thing. Sorry, I'm going down a tangent.
29:43
But all these all these people wrote like, oh, I don't like the
29:48
way her stomach looks on television and they got to work
29:51
on her belly. And I don't usually answer, you
29:53
know, to social media because you can get really lost in that
29:55
loophole. But I did write to people, hey,
29:57
guess what? I was really pregnant.
29:58
And sometimes we don't see real bellies on television.
30:01
But yeah, babies sit in different places.
30:03
And that was a real pregnancy. And so I also just love that I
30:07
got to be really pregnant because it wasn't a perfect
30:10
rounded stomach that we see. Like when you're pregnant, their
30:13
kids are old. They can be high, they can be
30:14
low. Like this is real.
30:16
This is a real body, folks. But Oh my gosh, that's so funny.
30:20
I feel like I can a lot of times when you see pregnant people on
30:26
TV, I'm like, is that real? Like that's a real perfect
30:30
belly. They're probably probably not
30:33
really pregnant. OK, so go back.
30:34
OK, so. Yes, yeah, sorry.
30:36
That was a lot, Emily. No, no, no.
30:38
Thanks for. That entire journey.
30:40
I'm that is what I'm here for. I'm I love it.
30:44
So just the timeline. OK, so you've told told them you
30:48
were pregnant when you were like four months or something.
30:51
I also love that you told the costume person kind of first,
30:54
because obviously they need to know first.
30:56
Really, I was like, listen, we're going to have to do
30:58
stretch. A little stretchy pants.
31:01
Sizes are not the same. They're like, they probably know
31:06
before we know. I'm sure what?
31:11
How far had you been in the show then at that point?
31:17
Or like how many? Yeah, that was season 2.
31:22
So I had only been in one episode.
31:25
And I'm not sure they planned we, we would have to ask Rama
31:28
for sure, but I'm not sure they planned on bringing Tony back
31:31
after the first episode. You know, you, you never really
31:34
know, But I, I think I heard a rumor that they that that wasn't
31:39
a plan. But I got so much hate.
31:40
People were so invested in hating my character that they
31:43
were like, well, we got to bring her back.
31:46
Keep it coming. Yeah, that hate is paying my
31:48
bills. Seriously, that's so that's so
31:54
complicated though for you to be like, like you said that this
32:00
show is for you is career changing also financially like
32:06
amazing. And and then having the like,
32:13
OK, but I might have to let it go.
32:16
And those are the things like that we want, especially
32:21
financially once we're starting a family.
32:23
Like, Oh my goodness, that must have been a very complicated,
32:29
emotional couple of months, or however it was until you had to
32:35
wait for that Zoom call. Oh my gosh.
32:39
It really was it really was. I mean, it's like so many
32:46
feelings and it ended up being, you know, I'm I'm just so lucky
32:49
because I got to work up to being nine months pregnant.
32:51
Reasonable about shoots in Atlanta and so they literally
32:54
Hulu and Disney, they're very if you are pregnant, they're very
32:57
careful about, you know, how you're treated unsaid and timing
33:03
and then flying. So I had to you know, I shot in
33:05
Atlanta till like 9 and then I had to go to the doctor's right
33:08
before I flew to make sure I wouldn't go in labor in the four
33:11
hour flight. They checked everything they're
33:13
like OK, then straight to the airport and then home.
33:16
So I really got to shoot until she basically came out, which
33:20
was such, you know, people are like, Oh my God.
33:22
But you know, I was treated so well that it didn't feel taxing.
33:25
And then, you know, financially that was such a blessing to like
33:29
make money until the end. Because, you know, once you have
33:33
a kid, you're, you're sort of out for a little bit, or at
33:35
least I was, you know? Technically.
33:36
Wants to even like reply to an e-mail.
33:40
Yeah, I was going to ask you then.
33:42
OK, so we have shooting in Atlanta while you're pregnant
33:47
and then come back and have this sweet little Angel girl and,
33:53
and, and then what? And then how did?
33:57
And then what? Yeah, well, yeah.
34:03
I mean, you never know if you're going to be back each season or
34:07
at least for where I'm at in my career, you know, being guest
34:10
star trying to reoccurring. So you know, I didn't, I didn't
34:15
know but I tried to and obviously when you have a child
34:20
like I thought and I thought I would have Jelline in the
34:23
hospital and then the stomach would be gone.
34:24
That is not we are lied to folks.
34:27
That is not the case. I still looked pregnant for like
34:30
4 weeks afterwards like full on. So I was like.
34:35
A lot of stuff going on that doesn't just go back.
34:39
It does not at all. I mean the liquids and the
34:42
things, I mean that's we'll have another zoom where we're going
34:45
to all that. But I wanted to be in case I was
34:49
going to be asked back for season 3.
34:52
I wanted to and not, you know, Tony just had a baby too.
34:56
So I felt some freedom of like I maybe I'll show my body looking
35:00
differently than season 1 and good, like let's show what it
35:03
really is like. But I wanted to feel, you know,
35:06
I had a lot of brain fog when she was first born.
35:08
I wanted to feel ready and how, you know, being from circus, how
35:12
I do that is through exercise. So I did in case I got the call
35:16
for season 3. I was, you know, trying to get
35:19
back into my yoga and just it made me a better mom anyways,
35:23
you know, but just taking care of myself, I did a lot of like
35:26
yoga online with Jelena sleeping right next to me or below me or
35:31
over her body so that I could feel like, OK, I'm ready.
35:37
And then I got the call to come back for season 3.
35:40
But I was like, how I'm going to do this?
35:41
I'm a single mom. Like if we shoot in Atlanta and
35:45
they were amazing. They were like, you can bring
35:48
her. We will, you know, the travel
35:50
person was like, I'll make sure it's a flight where she can
35:52
sleep. You know, the, the cast, Tiffany
35:57
in the cast you should also talk to because she's incredible.
36:02
She was like, my mom's in Atlanta.
36:05
If you need a child. Yeah, she's been on.
36:08
She's. She was on.
36:09
I was just going to say that she she was the one who was like,
36:16
ask for everything but the kitchen sink.
36:18
I think she was the one who said it.
36:20
She was like, they can only say no.
36:22
So I love that they're yeah, that she.
36:25
Has taught me that and y'all out there, Tiffany has taught me ask
36:29
for, you know, there's like I have so much shame around asking
36:31
for help or like I don't want to be a bother.
36:34
It is not a bother. She really taught me that all
36:38
they they'll just say no if they can't do it, but maybe they can.
36:42
You know, she's like, she's so business smart too and she takes
36:46
care of her family because they all go down there.
36:49
I, I shouldn't share all her story, but they all go down
36:52
there when she shoots, you know? So anyways, she was like, my mom
36:55
is there. We'll figure out childcare.
36:58
There was another person on set who would like bring Jelly into
37:01
the trailer. She'd hang out with her in the
37:02
trailer. So it they made it because you
37:06
feel like, OK, wow, you know, I got through the pregnancy.
37:08
Is this possible by myself? You know, but they made it
37:12
possible. Maybe not every show is like
37:14
that, but like Tiffany said, you know, ask you're worthy of it.
37:18
They want you and and my daughter comes with me on the
37:21
package deal, you know. Yeah, that's so nice to hear
37:26
because I feel like, you know, and and it's fair like you said
37:31
and maybe not, not all shows are like that, not all people are as
37:37
accommodating. But to to hear that it is
37:43
possible and that people in this industry can also be kind and
37:50
welcoming to families because most of them also have families
37:53
and understand. And I feel like that is, is such
38:01
a like not talked about, just not talked about where you're
38:06
going to assume I can't, I can't bring my daughter or I'm just
38:11
going to assume it's going to be a no.
38:13
And it's like, well, yeah, it's a no If you're not asking, it's
38:16
definitely. Right.
38:18
That's your no. Yeah, that's a good point.
38:21
So have it's true. So have you.
38:23
So you have brought her? Oh yeah, every time.
38:27
That's isn't it so magical to like have that?
38:31
I mean, obviously she's not going to remember maybe all of
38:36
the moments yet, but that's so like to probably have like
38:43
pictures of her on set with you as like a baby or like all of
38:48
those things, like as an actor, like maybe she won't care.
38:52
Who knows, who knows? Our kids don't.
38:54
Right. Like I hate you.
38:55
Why'd you do that to me? Like it is.
38:59
So, so great for for us for to see that, like for ourselves to
39:07
see that we can do it to share with other people like, oh, they
39:12
did it. It can seem possible, like even
39:15
to hear like from Tiffany, like having other people see her
39:20
show. I will also say I'm generalizing
39:22
here, but I feel like having a female showrunner to helps.
39:29
You can say it's safe with me. It definitely.
39:32
Helps. You know, I feel like we just
39:35
need and we're seeing more women in these positions.
39:40
And I feel like, and I think was it Jennifer Lawrence?
39:44
And one of the round tables was talking about, you know, having
39:48
moms do the like, scheduling and stuff.
39:51
She's like, it's just so efficient.
39:54
And I'm like, yeah, we're good at that time.
39:57
We want to be home for dinner or whatever.
40:00
Yep, bags are packed with the snacks.
40:03
Like, Yep. Yeah, of OK, so you're back here
40:10
now. What is it?
40:12
OK, wait, no, I'm going to I'm going to stick in Atlanta.
40:15
And what was it like for you being in Atlanta and having to
40:20
having to do the work of an actor and also a mom?
40:26
How did you did you have. Oh, you said you had somebody
40:31
who would help in the trailer, but like how mentally an emotion
40:38
for you because that's a lot. It's a lot.
40:40
Yeah. No, it's true.
40:41
It's different. You know, whenever, you know,
40:43
when I went to what we shot the first season in LA but I've
40:46
flown to other places to shoot other things and it's like a
40:49
vacation, right? You're like woohoo will be a pay
40:52
to be in this hotel. It's a little different with
40:55
your daughter. And when I went to Atlanta for
40:59
the first for the second season for the first time, when when
41:03
the show moved to Atlanta and I was super pregnant on the the
41:07
scripty on set, he called me in a nice way.
41:10
He called me baby brains because we would be running.
41:12
And these were long court scenes.
41:14
There was a long court scene where Emma Yahtzee would was
41:17
coming for me. It's when she figures out that
41:19
I've done things and things and things to, you know, quote my
41:24
friend, but her best friend and. Yeah, watch it.
41:28
Watch it. There's a lot of those long and
41:31
the way they shoot the court scenes, it's like long full
41:34
takes or Anton Cropper like that's that's how he shoots.
41:37
It's like long and I and he was like the script.
41:40
He was like, I always see this look on your face with like, and
41:44
he would just mouth the word because you know, when you're
41:46
super pregnant, it's like. Yep.
41:50
And there was one time when, when I was supposed to say to
41:53
Emma Yahtzee, I don't think I'm a liar.
41:55
You know, I, I, I don't think I'm a liar.
41:56
I was supposed to say that. And I wasn't saying.
41:58
And she was like, are you telling me that you're a liar?
42:02
And I was like, no, she was like, I, I'm asking you if
42:06
you're telling me I'm a liar. It's like, I I just said no,
42:09
like I couldn't. And she was trying.
42:11
And they cut and we just cut up everybody.
42:15
She was like, girl, I gave it to you so many times.
42:17
I was like, I'm sorry, y'all, I'm so pregnant.
42:20
I'm so lost. So, you know, there was that for
42:25
sure. But again, being on the set
42:27
where it's really loving and. And it was funny, Anton, after
42:31
that, he was like, but it was good.
42:32
That was like, real. And I was like, oh, yeah, I was
42:34
fighting for my life. Yeah, it was real good acting.
42:36
That was definitely real. But then later, when Jelena was
42:42
there, what I struggled with the most is finding time to sit with
42:47
the, with the, with the script. You know what I mean?
42:51
Like talk about. You just don't have it.
42:54
You don't have it, you know, and you might plan and then there's
42:56
a poopy diaper or they're sick or like didn't like that dinner.
43:00
Let me shift and make something new You.
43:02
I mean, you know, and it's like all that script time goes away.
43:06
So I've had to get really comfortable with like, I know
43:09
the meaning and I know the the sort of gist of my lines.
43:14
And I'm not suggesting anybody, you know, writers work really
43:17
hard, so we respect them. But I've had to get comfortable
43:20
with walking on set like that. And Emily, before that I was a
43:22
rehearser. I knew every word.
43:25
I had looked it up. I had done like, because I think
43:27
I came from theater where you have a, you know, seven week
43:31
rehearsal process. I was very, but I've had to get
43:34
comfortable with like I know this, you know this, trust your
43:37
years of experience. You may not be as prepared as
43:40
you want, but like, I'm not going to go in there and
43:42
apologize for how prepared I am, you know?
43:45
Do you think, I mean, obviously, I mean, I would assume and I
43:49
shouldn't assume, but do you think that that is because of
43:53
motherhood? Because Can you imagine, not
43:57
like not being prepared, but not being a mom?
44:00
I feel like, not that we're using motherhood as an excuse,
44:03
but you know what I mean? I feel like, do you think that
44:06
that's the reason you're like, I have more important, not that
44:10
our jobs are not important, but our lives, the, the, the lives
44:15
that we've created are more important.
44:18
Do you think that was a huge factor in that?
44:22
Absolutely. And I love that you said it's
44:23
not an excuse, but it is a reality, right?
44:26
Like, and and I think so across the board.
44:29
You know, I shared this with one of my friends.
44:30
It's it's helped me as an actor in the way of like just big
44:34
picture, like an audition. You know, I used to not get
44:37
auditions that I really worked on and be crushed, you know,
44:40
like crushed like what, what, how could I not be 1?
44:43
Like it just brings reality into the mix of like, OK, I got a
44:48
deal here and she just started walking.
44:51
And like, this is, you know, I, I think it's just, it is helpful
44:55
because it brings in what's the word perspective?
44:57
Yeah. You know, and, and like reality,
45:01
like, yeah, I might not be super prepared for the scene.
45:04
I'll get there. I my daughter was up all night,
45:07
you know. Yeah, yeah.
45:10
That'll that'll change some things.
45:13
Do you feel like motherhood obviously changes how we're able
45:18
to rehearse and prepare and stuff?
45:20
Do you feel like it's changed how you and it's so interesting
45:25
that like you have that connection now with your I've my
45:30
brain has split in two places right now.
45:33
But it's so interesting that your character having been
45:38
pregnant too and like being able to, you know, so connect with
45:45
that and that it's happening simultaneously.
45:48
But then like the motherhood part of it, like being your
45:53
reality. How how has that changed your
45:59
the way you get into character and like just the the actual
46:06
like acting part of it. Do you feel like you there's
46:09
more depth or to say not to say that like, again, multiple
46:15
things can be true. I'm not saying that actors who
46:17
don't have kids, who are pretending to be parents don't
46:20
have right? You're not a real parent and I
46:26
know how that sounds, but. You don't really know what it's
46:31
like. No, no, I know exactly what you
46:32
mean. And, and this is the theme of
46:34
our of this episode is multiple things can be true.
46:36
That this is our we're not offending anyone.
46:40
Right. We're not trying to.
46:42
No, I think, no. I love that you asked that.
46:45
And I think you asked it really well, I think.
46:47
Long. Windedly, but no.
46:49
No, but you have to, because we have to be careful.
46:51
Because, you know, someone can play a mother without being a
46:53
mother for sure. And I did it a bunch.
46:55
But like, I think there is a depth that I am definitely
46:59
attached to now or that I can attach to as an actor now that I
47:04
didn't quite have before. I've always had, you know, an
47:06
ability to kind of connect to emotions.
47:08
Maybe my, you know, pulled from for my life being a little bit
47:12
tough and stuff like that. But there is a depth, you know,
47:16
I can think about her and, and cry.
47:18
So there's a depth there. And I and I will share 22 quick
47:24
things. So I'll start with The funny
47:25
thing. I remember doing a play before I
47:27
had a child where my character was pregnant.
47:29
The play is called Skeleton Crew.
47:31
It's by Dominique Moore. So she's a playwright from
47:33
Detroit. She's incredible, everybody.
47:34
So you should know her. And one of the characters is
47:38
pregnant. And the director had me walk
47:40
around Emily with a, with a, with a sandbag for hours all
47:45
through rehearsal, getting enough make sure you, you know,
47:51
like that. And then I was really pregnant
47:53
and I was like, you know, I was nine months pregnant.
47:55
Like woo fan kick, you know what I mean?
47:58
Oh my God. I think back to that like, wow,
48:01
I was really acting it out. So I do think it's helpful to,
48:06
you know, as helpful as Tony to really be pregnant because I
48:09
moved like me. And that's how a pregnant woman
48:11
moves. You know, I didn't have to like
48:14
show that I was pregnant. But the other thing I'll share
48:18
and and no, this is a slight spoiler alert, but I don't, but
48:22
I don't think it is, you know, well, I was actually pregnant.
48:25
I had to sort of go through. Well, there's two things.
48:28
I did a film when I was 5 months pregnant before I went to
48:32
reasonable doubt. I did not tell this crew that I
48:37
was pregnant. It was a 15 day shoot.
48:38
I was like, I think we'll be OK. I told I told wardrobe and there
48:46
was a sexual assault scene and that was tough to do just to
48:50
sort of hold that space. Well, creating a child, you
48:54
know, and I sort of did like a ritual with myself after like
48:57
this is pretend. Don't let this sort of because
49:01
you're so you know, you're so connected.
49:03
It's like her heartbeat, you know.
49:06
So that was definitely, and I, and I don't know that I would
49:09
want to do that again. And also just like the, you
49:13
know, I was really stern with the actor about how the
49:16
physicality is and you should be anyways if you're pregnant or
49:18
not. But he definitely was like,
49:21
you're like really, you know, sort of strict about your body.
49:23
And I was like, Yep. Also, that's a weird thing for
49:27
someone to say like. Yeah, yeah.
49:31
And I was, I mean, I was like, don't you can't grab me like
49:33
that. You cannot grab me like that,
49:35
you know, So I think it, it probably would have been better
49:38
to to, to, to share in the context of that film.
49:44
But I will say I also had to shoot a scene where while I was
49:53
pregnant, where somewhere she loses her baby.
49:57
And that was tough. I.
50:01
That was tough. Imagine so.
50:03
That was tough, but I was really able, you know, I'm really
50:07
judgmental of my work as we are, you know, not judgmental, but I
50:12
really try to learn from watching myself.
50:14
And I think, you know, that that's not for everybody, but
50:17
it's a real tactic for me. I can see little things and I
50:20
and I just want to be better. You know, I like, I like this
50:22
line of work because we can always grow.
50:25
But that scene when I watch it, I'm like, oh, that was real.
50:28
Like the fear of that actually happening to me.
50:30
Because I feel like your whole pregnancy is a little bit like,
50:32
are they OK? Do you hear the heartbeat?
50:35
So I watched that scene and I'm like, oh, that was that was
50:37
real. So just to circle back to your
50:39
question, you know, for those couple things, it layered in
50:44
intensity for sure that I don't know I would have gotten there
50:47
without actually having that fear of like.
50:51
Yeah. He's in there right now while
50:53
I'm pretending I've lost somebody, you know?
50:57
Wow, that's yeah, that's wild. And it can go.
51:00
It's interesting because going back to when you were saying
51:03
the, you know, with the, you know, Co star part where it's
51:08
like you can't, you know, I'm crying, I can act and I can do
51:11
all the things and it's like, well, you have to serve the
51:14
story. I find that too.
51:16
I just hadn't an audition where whereas like something happens
51:22
to a little girl and I was like, like, it's not, I'm not.
51:26
The story is not about me, right?
51:29
When I was working on it by the woman I was coaching with, she
51:34
was like, it's a 40 year old man, it's not a girl and it's
51:37
not a little girl anymore. And I was like, okay, yeah,
51:40
that's we should do that. So it's right there.
51:43
Yeah. Because how?
51:44
I can't. So I was like, I did 2 takes
51:46
where I was like 1, I am a mom. And then one I'm like, yeah, no
51:50
like. You have to.
51:53
But it's like it's, it's a double edged sword, I guess.
51:58
I don't know. I don't know if that's the right
52:00
term, but but yeah, wow, that's that's.
52:06
Yeah. Those are a couple.
52:07
And I was super supported. I will say that, you know,
52:10
therapist there on set. So it wasn't like I was, you
52:13
know, out in the woods by myself.
52:14
But yeah, it was it was a good job.
52:17
Yeah, that's thank God again, you I feel like you've gotten a
52:21
lot of like great support and great people to work with too.
52:28
And I feel like that's so again, nice to hear as like women and
52:36
moms, we get a like we get afraid of like, Oh well, what a
52:39
you know, if what if, what if? And, and to hear the stories of
52:45
the support and all of that is so nice.
52:51
And again, obviously every set and every person that we work
52:56
with is going to be different, but to have that story shared is
53:03
like, is nice, nice to hear. Yeah, it is.
53:07
And I think it's important to share it because, yeah, I think
53:11
historically women haven't been treated well in those situations
53:15
or, you know, have lost jobs or people aren't willing to deal
53:19
with, you know, it's extra to them or more work, you know,
53:22
which is ridiculous. It's not.
53:24
It's the it's dealing with the human being that's in front of
53:27
you, you know? Yeah.
53:29
Well, Speaking of things that like we that need to be talked
53:33
about more, what is, what do you feel like something?
53:35
What do you feel like? Is that something that you wish
53:40
people had talked about more or do you wish they do talk about
53:45
more when it comes to working moms in this industry?
53:48
What do you feel like you wish you knew?
53:53
Oh, I love that. Yeah, I'm still, you know, I'm
53:58
still sort of answering that question, but I wish, and maybe
54:04
this wasn't externally, maybe it was internally, but like this
54:07
idea that it's not possible. I think it is possible.
54:12
But also like just, you know, me and Tiffany have had this
54:15
conversation of like more awareness, more community minded
54:21
would be great. Like if there was something on,
54:27
you know, LA casting where you could say, you know, working
54:31
Mama and we schedule the auditions at the same time so
54:34
that one person is with the strollers and, you know, and I
54:37
think that stuff would be easy. But oh, right.
54:42
So circling back, you know, but also I think people have stepped
54:48
up and I used to do this before I had Jelena.
54:50
If I saw somebody coming to an audition with a stroller, I
54:54
would always say I can stay. Yeah, I work with kids.
54:57
I teach kids. You know, I'm CPR certified.
55:00
I have I always did it because I love kids and I love babies.
55:05
And so it was really more selfish and that has come back
55:08
to me. So, you know, maybe I would
55:11
share that to people are are are willing to help.
55:15
You know, I probably had somebody offer and I'm really
55:18
only going in for commercial auditions these days and it
55:20
seems more self tape, but I've had someone offer every audition
55:25
I've gone into with her. Do you want me to stay with her?
55:28
Do you need help? You know, even the person
55:29
checking in, you can leave her right here.
55:32
And so I do think, I guess what I would say, the advice I would
55:36
give myself many years ago is it is possible.
55:38
I don't think it's easy. Like we said, there's totally
55:42
different factors to it and things shift and change and you
55:45
got to be willing to shift and change, I think, and go with the
55:49
ebb and flow. We can't hold on to what we used
55:51
to have. It's not there.
55:52
Anymore, I think that's also a testament to you though.
55:56
Like it's kind of like like a karma thing.
55:59
Like you, you're getting goodness back because you are a
56:03
good person and you've been through that.
56:06
And that's saying something because so much of like now that
56:10
I'm a mom, I'm like, oh, I wish I would have done XY and Z for
56:13
my friends who had babies, you know, 10 years ago before I did
56:18
like, oh, I wish like, so for you to have the hindsight of
56:24
you, or not the hindsight, but the foresight of.
56:27
Yes, I think it's foresight. Yes, yeah, I got words of
56:32
helping and knowing that before to experience for yourself like
56:40
you don't have to be a parent to know that like this mom needs
56:44
you to hold the door for her when she's pulling a stroller
56:47
just. Right folks, help out.
56:50
We can do it on our own, we just don't always want to.
56:54
It's easier with a little help, help help us.
56:58
OK, let's do a fun little. We'll finish it up with a little
57:02
a little lightning round. So what is the first acting job
57:07
you ever? I was on a show called Oh Acting
57:11
Job or TV? Either 1 you could tell by.
57:16
Lethal Weapon, the TV show, and I shot with Damon Waynes, which
57:20
was a big deal because I was in living color.
57:22
I grew up on a living color. First theater that I ever did.
57:27
Well, I was in the circus when I was pretty young, but the first
57:30
theater piece I ever did. That's a good question.
57:35
We got to circle back on that one.
57:36
Yeah, that's fine. What's your worst audition
57:39
story? Do you have a bad audition
57:41
story? Yeah, Oh yeah.
57:43
I auditioned for at this big grand, beautiful Shakespeare
57:46
Theatre and Amphitheatre in Orinda, CA and my pants ripped.
57:52
So that was fun. During the audition, full on saw
57:56
my underwear. Yeah.
57:57
And I tried to like go with it. And they were like, why don't
58:00
you stop? Like you can, you can go.
58:05
Yeah, they were like, stop, just stop.
58:08
Yeah. So we'll go with that one.
58:11
Yeah. What's the your favorite role
58:14
that you have played? I love, I love playing Tony.
58:17
It's, it's a really fun role. I also have loved I play in, in,
58:24
in in the movie where I'm five months pregnant.
58:26
That character's also named Tony, spelled the same way to
58:29
you and I. I guess I just play Tony's.
58:31
And that. Role was really fun.
58:33
It's a thriller film. It's called a Kill for a Kill.
58:37
It's on To be folks, but it's sort of out of the usual To be
58:41
realm. So give it a give it a go.
58:43
That role was really fun. So my Tonys, I like playing my
58:46
Tonys. So funny.
58:48
What was odd to find it at some point, but there's, OK, I'm
58:52
going to totally mess it up. But there's an actor, he's a
58:56
Hispanic actor and he is like only played like the same names,
59:01
like he works all the time. But it's.
59:03
All it might be like Jose, he plays Jose all the time.
59:07
I. Think I read this or somebody
59:08
sent me this. He's played like 15 Joses or
59:11
something. It's so funny.
59:13
What? A down Jose some.
59:15
New names? That's hilarious.
59:17
What is your coffee order? Or tea, whatever.
59:21
You're Yeah, I'm not a dairy person.
59:24
I found out that for black bodies, it can it cannot sit
59:27
well. So that revelation was wonderful
59:30
for me because I was like, why does my stomach always hurt?
59:32
So I am an oat milk latte, and sometimes I just like it
59:35
straight up. I like three shots in there.
59:36
I like my caffeine. And sometimes I like a little
59:39
bit of vanilla love. It we love what is your mom bag
59:46
essential that like you aren't going to leave the house
59:49
without. Yep, diapers for sure.
59:53
I have baby wipes in every nook and cranny because for the
59:57
diaper but also all the things children have things coming out
1:00:01
of everywhere. What else?
1:00:03
I have bubbles. Bubbles are my.
1:00:07
Go Oh, you're crying Bubbles, they're magical.
1:00:10
What? They're peculiar thing.
1:00:11
Oh, Kazoo. My daughter kazooed for her her
1:00:16
entire thing, and that is like mom's that is it.
1:00:18
That is a trick. It like derails whatever tantrum
1:00:21
and all of a sudden you're really cool and now she kind of
1:00:24
can blow on it. So those are my like random mom
1:00:27
bubbles and kazoos are like my little secret.
1:00:30
So please. Yeah.
1:00:32
Oh my gosh, that's so funny. We've actually just got a just
1:00:35
got a purple kazoo from like a birthday party or something,
1:00:38
like a couple weeks. Keeping it around.
1:00:43
I'm keeping it. What is the show that you're
1:00:46
currently obsessed with or binging or watching?
1:00:49
Oh, that's a good question. So this is my like Achilles heel
1:00:54
is that like I feel and my friends always come from me.
1:00:57
I feel like I don't have time to watch television.
1:01:01
And so the last and I'm like really playing catch up.
1:01:03
I just finished Atlanta. So I'm like Maria out like
1:01:07
Emily, it's bad. But that show, you know, Donald
1:01:09
Glover, I give you all my praise.
1:01:11
That show was is incredible. And then the other show that I
1:01:15
that I'm obsessed with, I'm going to go off camera and I'm
1:01:17
coming back. I'm obsessed with the British
1:01:19
Baking Show. Oh, I mean, aren't we all?
1:01:23
I was just thinking that the other day.
1:01:25
I was like, hello, why are we not having a new season like
1:01:29
every month? I, I need it.
1:01:33
It's like I think I can like do mom stuff and do stuff and then
1:01:37
like come in and out and then, you know, the cupcakes are done
1:01:41
or the cake is done. Like I don't know what it is,
1:01:43
but that show just works for me. And then I love Kathy Bates.
1:01:46
So I, I really like Matlock and I'm careful saying that because
1:01:50
I have had a couple auditions for it, but that's not why I
1:01:53
love it. I just love it otherwise but.
1:01:56
But also putting it out there. Right, right.
1:01:59
Just saying that I love it and I know it.
1:02:01
No, it's a real. It's really good.
1:02:04
No, it's. Really good.
1:02:05
It's just nice to see her doing what she does.
1:02:08
I mean. She's a.
1:02:09
Classic. It's incredible.
1:02:10
I mean, imagine shooting with her.
1:02:12
I was like, I will. I will not even say a line if I
1:02:14
just get to be like. Like can I just write her
1:02:19
presents please? Oh my God, exactly.
1:02:23
She's one of those for me. Oh my gosh.
1:02:25
Well, this has been so lovely. I appreciate you taking the
1:02:31
time. It's I know time is, you know.
1:02:37
Precious. Yeah, that's the word.
1:02:40
No, thank you. It's been lovely for me too.
1:02:42
Thank you for your curiosity and your questions and for what
1:02:45
you're doing. I mean, I think you're part of
1:02:47
making it more like mothers connecting and just talking
1:02:52
about these things that aren't talked about.
1:02:54
So I just want to say thank you to you and I commend you and I
1:02:57
want to support you in any way that I can because you're really
1:03:00
doing something that's special. So thanks for having me.
1:03:02
Thank. You thank you so much for
1:03:05
listening to this episode of Mommy Wood.
1:03:08
Now before you go, if Mommy Wood feels like a place you belong, I
1:03:11
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to my producer and good friend Cecilia for making Mommy Wood
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As always, thank you for being a part of Mommy Wood.
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Please come be a part of the village as well.
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