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Modern Dating Part 2 · 4 The Exchange

• LayTheDon: Yo yo yo, what's up? What's up, it's your girl, Lady Don, fourth member of Fo The Exchange. I'm here with my boy Kev. What's up, Kev? Kobe and Mr. Big Bite himself, Gofrito. What's up? Kevin: Yeah, yeah. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: What's good, what's good. Kobi: Okay. LayTheDon: So last episode we landed on a nice little cliffhanger. Little cliffhanger, you know. This is relationship to 2026 part two. You know, you know. so the last question I have for my young gentleman of the group, you know, had a good question, and this can go for the girl side too. I'm gonna give y'all my good answer, but I wanna hear from my gentleman first. What is the deal of both sides? Giving off mixed signals during dating. And do y'all believe that mixed signals gears the direction of relationships in 2026? I'ma throw that ball to Kobe first. Kobi: I'm always the first to get to our questions. GoFredo: Hey boy, y'all was LayTheDon: You know, they GoFredo: beefing last episode. LayTheDon: say hey Kobe, they say you too cold with your answers. You know, we need we we need we need the Kobe too cold answers. Kobi: So, mixed signals GoFredo: Ooh, copy too cold. I like that. Kobi: do steer a relationship nowadays due to the simple fact that both partners in the talking stage, dating stage, or relationship stage, they both might not know what they want. So they could just be leading the other person on until they find what they want or... They both don't know if they won't and they're just stagnant in a roller coaster, a merry-go-round, going around in a circle and can't seem to let go of each other. mixed signals is living in a state of delusion as well when you're dealing with a relationship or talking stage situation, whatever the case may be due to the simple fact that, like I said, you don't know what you want and you're sending love signals to this person but that's not how you really feel about this person. You're just... going along with the flow, even though you have no real intention on following up behind those signals that you're sending. What about you, Fredo? GoFredo: You wanna be honest with you, I do think that mixed signals is is is I ain't gonna lie, I think mixed signals and people not knowing what they want is throwing a whole day in game on. and to be honest with you, I think people it starts with people not being 100 with themselves. Like I used to tell homies all the time and I still tell them to this day, like as a man, it goes to what Kev said in episode one, 'cause what Kev said is the episode one was real, is that men not having the intentions or not leading as they should. Going into relationships or being cowards or what they saying. Like to me, like, it's a lot of men out here that just want some cheeks. And what they lying and doing X, Y, and Z just to get to the cheeks, and then they mad that old girl crazy now. When you could have just told her straightforward, hey baby, I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to clap buns. And you and then people don't understand, like nine not nine times, but a lot of times, Shorty might want the same thing. Like, I'm trying to get my buns clapped too. That's and so it'd just be that. But you out here playing and you giving and like you giving this this false hope or you leading the you leading as if like I'm trying to date you I'm trying to do X, Y, and Z and everything like that, when all in all reality all you doing is trying to clap cheeks. And not every cheeks are supposed to get clapped. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And so like you got men that that's afraid to be but that's afraid to say what they need to say because they like, man, if I tell her the truth, she ain't gonna wanna go. Or if I tell her the truth, she ain't gonna Hey man, bump all that. What you scared of? Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Like go in there, tell the truth, and it don't work out of your favor, it don't work out of your favor. And then you move on to the next. Like, come on, man. It's 8 billion, 8 billion people in counting in this world. Let's just say, for example, it's 8 billion people in counting. Let's say half is women. So that's 4 billion. If you ain't get this one short, you telling me you don't want to go, it ain't somebody else around the corner. People Kobi: . GoFredo: limit themselves. And then they just think to themselves, and then you got you got mothers out here want to keep lying and keep- I ain't- I ain't really with that. So I do think mixed signals is kind of throwing the game off. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And I ain't gonna speak too much on women, I'll be speaking on men because y'all done heard me say this. That stuff irritates me when I'm trying to talk to a woman now and she tells me, buddy lied to me about them. Like, for what? Like for like for what? Jordy, what you lying to her for? Like, just go ahead and tell her the truth, and if she ain't going, she ain't going. But you know, a lot of these, a lot of these dudes out here territorial about about something that Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: ain't theirs. So then that's a whole nother conversation for another day because LayTheDon: That's another conversation. GoFredo: Man, mothers think mother Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: think there's something there's and it's not. Like, come on now. Like that age like I tell people straightforward, that car that you put that car that you put 4K on and you still owe six, Kobi: Thank you. Kevin: Maybe GoFredo: that's not yours. That's not yours. So if you thinking you went on a few days with this shorty and you think the chest yours, no, she not. She not yours. And so it you know, but I'ma let Kev I'ma let Kev go before we end up passing it to you, Late. Go ahead, Kev. What's your what's your points on it? Kobi: it. Kevin: Man, you you hit a lot on the nose real quick, you know I gotta ask what y'all sipping on before I answer this question? Kobi: you LayTheDon: You know I got that good old Kevin: Wait, what you got over there, mate? Kobi: you LayTheDon: arm thing. You know I got that tea. You know I Kevin: right, Fred Fredo, what you got over there? LayTheDon: got tea. GoFredo: I got Bacardi with this cup. Kevin: Alright, he you know he stay with the pinky up when he takes sip. Kobi: you GoFredo: Hey man, listen Hey, hey, hey man, I'm classy. Kevin: Kobe, what you got on over there, bitch? Kobi: I got a little bit Don Julio, that's all. Kevin: Don Julio, okay, okay. GoFredo: He said he acting a fooly yo. LayTheDon: Acker now, GoFredo: What you sipping, game? Kevin: So you know me, I got you know me, I got the l the crown, The crown apple. I can't go wrong with that. GoFredo: He back with the crown. She back with the crown. Kevin: Back with the crown. LayTheDon: Back with the girl. Kevin: man, so now that's a that's a good question. y'all hit a lot of good points already on the mixed signals. and to your to your point, it's just like there's flat out not being honest about what it is you wanted to do in the first place, to your point, you could have just came out and said like, hey, yo, I I'm just trying to, you know. I mean, I'm at a stage where I I don't even get into all that. I don't even get into all that no more. I don't I don I don't have time. I just don't have time to do all that. It takes way too much energy to lie. It takes way too much energy to lie. GoFredo: Bro. Kevin: It just does. You know what I mean? And that's just what it is. When you get older, you just be like, man, like you just start to look for peace. You can't find peace in lying. So I'm I'm just not gonna do that. But yeah, Kobe, I'm gonna throw that to you, bro. I'm gonna throw it back to you, man. GoFredo: Huh hold on Kev, I want hold on, Kev, hold on, hold on, Kev. I wanna say this. Kobi: Cut! Clip it! GoFredo: I wanna say this though. I think people don't find peace within peace in general because they lie not only to the person they dealing with, but to themselves first. I think people ain't even real with themselves. Let alone being Kevin: yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. GoFredo: real with somebody else. People don't even know themselves. Like people out here Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: lying to themselves every single day. Like living in delusional land and whatnot and it's like and I think it come back to now we like live in a society now where people got this main character syndrome. But people think that this like the world Kevin: yeah. GoFredo: just literally activate when they wake up. Like, nah, like when you take a nap, this world is still moving. Like we still life is still happening when you fall asleep. Kevin: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. GoFredo: And s and so I think that it comes to the people don't even want to find Kobi: you GoFredo: peace because they lie to themselves. But my bad, go ahead. Kevin: You you said GoFredo: I just throw that out there. Kevin: You said something real good though. Kobi: So real fast, dudes. Kevin: But I ahead, Cop, go Kobi: We'll back. Kevin: ahead, go. Kobi: That go here? Kevin: No, you got GoFredo: I wanna know what I said real good. Go ahead. I wanna know what I said. Kevin: Nah, I mean you right about you right, LayTheDon: I'm by basic temps. Kevin: you right. Nah, people just not being not being real with themselves, but you you made a good point about it's some guys out here that's trying to put a claim on something that's not even theirs. And I'm like, that's man, you hit something on the news. Like you it's it's it's dudes out here that's that's ready to fight you. For doing something that they wasn't even really on it. They wasn't even really on it. Now they mad at you. Cause you want that girl now. You know what I mean? GoFredo: Hey bro. Hey bro, it's it's dudes out here that's willing to fight you for talking to a girl when they already got three or four other girls they dealing with. What is going on, bro? Like what are we talking about? And then not even just that. I didn't even know she was with somebody. But you taking this up with me. You beefing with me, and I didn't even know she was even with somebody. Kobi: Thank you. Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: Like, come on, man. Like, and I think the game then messed up. I think that I honestly, I think the game then kind of is completely different now. Like, like, and y'all know my motto, these men is soft nowadays. No, I and I'm not even trying to be disrespectful. I'm just being honest. I know a lot of people. A lot of people. I've came across a lot of people. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And the and it's a lot of this emotionally unstable men out here in this world that don't know how to control their emotions. And that and that's just a fact. And that's that's really just what it is. They don't know how to control their emotions, and they walking around with their chest poked out until somebody come push their chest in. And now they looking confused, and now they want to go get the glock, or they want to go get this. And I mean with all that. Y'all know the era we grew up in, you needed two of these. That's how it was. You needed two of these, and and that's what it was. Now all of a sudden it's time to go get the glock. And Now you finna go to jail over a shorty like that's the part that killed me. My pops used say this to me when I was younger. Before I let Lay go. Must go out here and go kill somebody over a woman. And then now you in jail for the rest of your life. What you think she doing? You think she waiting on you? Come on now, let's be for real about it. Like that moment of silence for y'all was for y'all goofies to know. No, she's not waiting on you. Like she's not waiting on you. You're not even coming home. You're not even coming home, doc. What is that even to wait? But you know what? Go go here, Lei, before I go I go too long with my soliloquy. Go ahead, Lei. LayTheDon: All right, so you you hit some good points on you know not people not telling what their real intention is. And then, you know, like I said in episode two, I'm one I am one of them people who will tell you what my true intentions is. But here's the thing. If we date, you know, we then talked about our parameters of the dating, whether we're exclusive or not, XXYZ, whatever. When you're dating, you know, you still should have the ability to be able to go out and you know, see other what's out there. You don't have to be necessarily, you know, just just yant to. Here's my thing if I'm out there doing my thing as a woman and you out there doing your man thing or whatever, and I get mad at you doing your thing, and the first thing you say is, Well, we ain't together, then why is it a problem whenever I say, we ain't together, all of a sudden now you want to be in a relationship? Because I said, Hey, we not together, but you didn't like that I said that, so now you want to be together because you know, us being together stops me from doing what I want to do. So when I say that mixed signals shapes a relationship, that's what I mean. Like, yeah, y'all dating. Y'all still allow to do whatever y'all want to go do, you know, this and the therapy. But the minute is someone says, we're not together as an excuse as to do whatever they want. That's usually when men, for the most part, want to be like, all right, we together, because as long as we together, then you it's some type of power that y'all have over us. And that's why I feel like mixed signals Kobi: Okay. LayTheDon: is is something that It really does gear Kobi: . LayTheDon: relationship. Like it really does. Like I feel like be clear with your intentions. If y'all just trying to smash, if you just want the cheeks, if you just want the you know, let them know enhance because then y'all gonna end up in these relationships, like Kobe said last episode, where y'all just become complacent. Cause y'all never GoFredo: Mm-hmm. LayTheDon: put it out there as what the intentions were. Was y'all planning on a better relationship? Was y'all planning on getting married, or was you smash planning to just get the cheek? So in my opinion. I can definitely say that mixed signals shaped my relationship in the beginning. And that's just me being on a personal level. Like, I am one of them people. I told y'all, I am clear of my intentions. And by and if your intentions don't match my intentions, I'm gonna cut you off. But I am gonna match energy. Now if you get GoFredo: Yeah. LayTheDon: sad later because I decided to cut you off because you didn't want to lock me down, then that's on you. That is strictly on you because I told you what the intentions were in beginning. And you told me what you wanted. And I gave you exactly what you wanted, but now you made. GoFredo: Ooh, hey, I I you said something I wanna pose a question to to us all. I'm gonna I'm gonna we're gonna pass it to Kobe first. because both of y'all said something very, very important. Like we talked about it last week episode and you brought it up again today. And I I just think that y'all know me I'm a man I'm a man of faith and when when when when things just clickin', I gotta ask it. I gotta figure out what's gonna complacency in a relationship. Like, so Kobe, I wanna I wanna start with you. I'm actually, you know, just pose the question to everybody. Like When when you are complacent in a relationship and you sticking around and kind of like trying to figure out what what we doing here, like we've Kobi: you GoFredo: all been in these standpoints, we all been in these relationships where we were complacent. But I would like to I I don't I'm trying to figure out how to word this question, but let me try. Like, at what point in a relationship do you know like we're older now so we can kind of look back on it, but like to help our viewers out that's going to it, especially with the younger generation, like at what point in relationship do like, all right man, this ain't even going nowhere. Like what are we doing here? Like, you got it late? LayTheDon: Let me go first. Let me go first. GoFredo: Go ahead, like. Kobi: Ahem. LayTheDon: I feel like the point you reaching that relationship when y'all just it is not working out is when you are no longer happy, when you have thoughts of cheating, when you have thoughts of stepping out on doing something different than with that person, is when you know that it's done for. But the problem is you become so complacent that you don't understand the words, I don't want to do this no more. You don't understand the signs of why you don't want to do this anymore. And girls. Kobi: Okay. Okay. LayTheDon: have a big tendency of showing you the signs before they actually show their intention. I try promise you GoFredo: Who LayTheDon: anytime a girl steps out or decides she wants to break up or go in a different direction, I promise you she gave you the signs and she told you before she did it. Guys on the other hand who don't necessarily think what they bring, they think what they're, you know what, will GoFredo: Least. LayTheDon: go step out first. before actually communicating what the signs were. Females are better communicators. Guys don't communicate as much. And that's why I feel like in relationships, especially communication, which we said on episode two, it's a big key in relationships. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Kat, Kev, go ahead. Kev got it. Don't worry about it. I Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: know my homie Kev gonna eat the go because you said something. I know Kev, Kev was his man was screwing up top. So I know my homie. Go ahead, Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Kev. Go ahead, rebuttal that. I know you got one. Because you know I got one. So go ahead. I know Kobe got one too, but Kev ain't talked yet. Kevin: Listen man, it's a it's a it's a i it's a it's a couple things. Kobi: Okay. Okay. Kevin: Well I was gonna say you it's it's a couple things 'cause nah, Lei made some Lei made some good points. She made some good points. especially about the communication. especially about that. That's I'll get that to GoFredo: What are you doing now? Kevin: you. I'll get that to you. I'll get that to you. LayTheDon: Mm. GoFredo: I don't agree. Kevin: I so and I say that and I say that because you know what when she she you brought up the point about when a man is cheating versus when a woman is cheating because the reality is I think and I and I I'm just gonna say it like it it comes off more hurtful when a woman cheats because it's so like strategic when it happens. You know what I'm saying? For us, it could just be a bad night. It could be just be a bad night. You know what I'm saying? It don't even mean you're not attracted to your girl no more or nothing like that. It could just be a bad night. Like I I don't know Kobi: Okay. Kevin: you Too many drinks, whatever the case is, and you just you know what I mean? That that could be the thing, but I mean that's up to to you to get that in check. But for for a woman, it's just like one of them things, like they so strategic when they do stuff, you know what I mean? So it's like when she's done with that relationship, and you like you can tell me if I'm wrong. When she's done with that relationship, she'd been done with that relationship for a LayTheDon: No, you you enjoying it. Keep going, Bo. Keep going. Kevin: She she've been doing that relationship for a long time. And I say that because Kobi: Okay. Kevin: and I'm and I and I'm just GoFredo: I should have passed it to Kobe. Kobi: Hey Kevin: and I'm saying that and just in a way because LayTheDon: No, I like you care. I don't care what they say about you. Kevin: Women they be this man, they be, they sneaky for real, man. They sneaky for real when they wanna be, man. But but nah, in all in all seriousness though, nah, I mean you made it you made some you made some alright points. I'm not gonna lie, you did make some some points, but it's it's it's one of them it's one of them weird areas because so for me it's it's one of them things where like I was I was never the type of boy that just went out and just Kobi: you Kevin: was cheating all over the place. So like for me, like I didn't put I didn't put claims on like three women at the same time. You know what I'm saying? Where I was like in a situation. I'm and I'm not saying I've never been in a situation Kobi: Thank Kevin: where let me not say like that. Like I didn't put claims on them. But it was like it was loose. You know what I'm saying? Where it was like, okay, like I know I'm talking to her, her and her. And she starts talking to somebody, I'm not over here about to you know what I mean? I'm not going off on somebody like, what you doing talking to a bro I I I you soft for doing that. Because you know what you know what GoFredo: Come on now. Kevin: comes along with it when you're talking to multiple women and things like that. You you know what comes along with it So you saw forgetting mad if you know she went with somebody else. That's just that's Kobi: Thank Kevin: just a fact. But as far as the the the the claim, let's be real. If you have a real intention with somebody, you gonna put a real claim on it. You gonna put a real claim on it if you got if you have an intention with somebody. That's just that's just reality. But Kobe, I'm gonna I'm gonna GoFredo: Early. Kevin: flip it to you, bro, because we we ain't we ain't heard from you, bro. What what you think, man? GoFredo: Hey, Kobe, my bad, man. We should have passed it to you, man. Care if I was here clearing with Lay. I should have threw it your way first, man. That's my fault. I apologize. LayTheDon: Kev, you did a great job. You did such a great job. GoFredo: Man, he over here trying to be Stephen Curry and she from Half Court and whatnot. Go ahead, Covey. LayTheDon: Mm. Yeah. Kobi: I don't hurt so many good points. I don't lost the question Kevin: I called them liars and called heat. Yeah. GoFredo: no, what I what I was asking was you ain't gonna lie, they didn't threw me off. What I was asking was with the complacency of relationship Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: when it comes to like like leaving. Like what is the signs that were like essentially like what's some signs that you you see and you notice in from your experiences to let you know like alright man, enough is enough. Because like I said, like we all seen it before we knew it was over. Like before we actually said it's over. Kobi: you GoFredo: We knew probably months. I mean in my case it was like years that it that you could see the writing on the wall and whatnot in certain situations or so like what were some signs for you that you seen that you was just like, Man, I should have knew this back then, but I kept giving it a chance Kobi: Okay. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: or kept giving it a try. Kobi: From my personal experience, when I started to notice a downhill, one of the major things was a lack of communication. Personally with my longest situation or my longest relationship, I would say that there were owning off's. So during the times that we were on, we were good. During the times we were off, there was no contact, no nothing until something major in someone, in one of our lives happened, like a passing of family that would reconnect us to us to be good again, then all for it later on down the line to go bad again. So we were in a sense trauma bonding because something dramatic in Kevin: Okay. Kobi: my life happened. And the person that I want to talk to, we're not talking until one of us steps up and confides into one another. And it's a cycle. You're just recycling everything. You get the feelings back. but then they start to diminish later on down the line and it's a merry-go-round. You're at an amusement park. You're getting on the same ride that you are stuck in and complacent in because you're comfortable with that person. So what you have to do is take out that comfortability, sit back and realize your self-worth so that you then can say, I'm tired of this cycle because nothing's ever gonna change. So I know my self worth. Let me take myself out of this situation so I can be a better person for not only myself, but whoever later on comes down the line. GoFredo: Hey boy, you I ain't gonna lie to you. You just cooked. Hey, you just cooked. And he did just cook. Kevin: You did. You did. And I I also I gotta throw one more point in for you though, too, bro. GoFredo: Go yeah. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: So and I cause I cause I I realized I didn't fully answer that that side. So and I'm just speaking from my experience, when you know it's over, when you GoFredo: Yeah. Kevin: go home and it your your peace is just gone because of that person. So like the thought of going home and they there and you just irked because they there they even do nothing to you yet, and you just irked that they there, you GoFredo: Mm. Kevin: that that thing is over with. That thing is over with. You know how and I'm just speaking from my personal experience, you know how bad it is. When you go home and you deceive somebody there and you irk and you're like, Man, I gotta go to the gym or something. I gotta get up out of here. Yo, that Kobi: It's a. Kevin: I'm I'm tired after a long day. LayTheDon: Or you send your car about ten minutes before you walk in the door. Kevin: I ain't walking in the door GoFredo: Yeah, what light? Kevin: yet. LayTheDon: When you sit in when you sit in your car for about ten minutes before you walk in that door. Kobi: Thank you. Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: Hey, hey, how about how about when like you done had you a day and they just text you and you like it ain't even nothing bad. It could be like, hey bang, you my god. Like like like like it'd be that. It be that bad. LayTheDon: You ever delete a you ever delete a message when they did that because you was pissed off? And said you ain't seen it. GoFredo: Have no you wanna be honest with you. I I I haven't done that only be and it sounded like you did, but I haven't done that because I haven't done that just because like she did. I haven't done that because honestly it's just like I'm at I'm at the point where it is what it is. Like I got like y'all, I mean, like I said, Lay, for my situation, you was on the back end of my relationship and Kobe was as well. Kevin: Yeah. Kobi: Okay. Thank GoFredo: But like Kev was there through the whole process. And it was to the point where, like, personally, I was delusional. Like I used to tell Kev. Like I used to specifically tell this man, yeah, she tweaking. I know I said this before, but I used to specifically tell him, like, man, she tweaking, but we gonna be alright. And he be like, Alright. Like he be like, Yeah, we'll be alright. And then she'd do some dumb stuff. And then like like now's to the point, and Kobe had heard me say this before plenty of times, like Kobi: Okay. Okay. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: Now when I like talk to my friends and we giving each other advice on relationships or everything like that, now it's to the point now like once it get repetitive and you doing the same thing, it's like, hey bro, I don't even want to hear that no more. Like cause at this point, like cause I've been in that situation and like you're lying to yourself to make this work. And so now it's just like, okay, you coming to me to ask for advice and I'm giving you some advice on it, and then you're not listening. Like you still going about doing the same thing over and over again, expected insanity essentially. Kevin: Yeah. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: You're doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Like I've been in that situation. And for me, like, like I always say in 11 years where where actually hold on, let me rewind this because Kobe said something and I was just about to say something. Do y'all think a relationship is sustainable when you break up and get back together? Like if it's on and off? And that go for anybody. You don't lay? Why why is that? Why do you think that? Kobi: Okay. Okay. LayTheDon: No. If there is a point in y'all relationship where you feel like y'all needed a break, I don't know why you thought in God's name it would get back, it'd be cool when y'all got back together. Like if you had a moment in your like granted, they say for better or for worse, for better or for worse, when you get married mean y'all don't get a break. Y'all don't get the time. Kobi: you LayTheDon: No, it's it's the whole the whole time. So like if you felt like ever in your relationship that y'all needed a break, then that relationship was never gonna work from the get-go at all. GoFredo: I Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: agree. LayTheDon: There's a lot of relationships. Also to say that ti I wouldn't put a time necessarily on a relationship because there's people who've been together for 50 plus years, they got married, you know, or got together three months in. And there's people who had been together for about ten plus years, got married and it didn't work out at year twelve. So like what I mean, like, I just feel like yeah, no, it it it That breakup to makeup, I don't think I I have I have yet to see one relationship where y'all broke up to make up the breakup to make up and it's it's still going on. GoFredo: Yeah, that's some movie type stuff. I ain't gonna lie to you. I only see that in movies. Like I've been in that situation. I tried, y'all was there. I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried. Mustn't try to pay for trip. Me and Kid was just talking about this the other day about going on a trip and whatnot. Kobi: Okay. you Kevin: Hey. GoFredo: And then he hit my line at work about some stuff that shorty was doing. So it was just it was just that. Like and I agree with you. I think once you get to a point where, you know, y'all wanna break, especially Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Like, especially when it comes from the other person. Like breakups is always easy for the person that's breaking up. Like what regardless of what the situation is. So like it's always easier for that person and and in any facet. So like for them it's always like, okay, I could come back any time or what or not come back but in due time I can go do what I wanna do, Kevin: Mm-hmm. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: especially like if you really care for the person. Like I really had love for s for for Shorty. And so like it was just like, okay, go, you know. And then we got back together. It was always it was almost Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: One of those things where I was like, okay, she finally figured it out. And she that was a lie I kept telling myself every single time. Okay, she finally figured out, we're gonna make it work. And then she didn't. And it was like, okay. And then and it was like one of those things where it was like, you know, one month turn into two months, two months turning to six months, and then you ain't talking to each other for like almost I think eight months was the longest time or something like that. And then Kobe was there for this point, and it was just like, okay, and I remember telling him, Alright man, we're gonna see where it goes. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And then it's just like now we just quote unquote talking. And it goes back to what Kobe said, I think it was either earlier or last episode. And Kobe was even saying, like, y'all in this space where y'all just y'all know y'all not together, but y'all together. And it's just that weird space, and it's just not is as neither party is comfortable in it, but y'all just know, like, okay, y'all can count on each other, but at the same time, both parties can go do their own thing. And so I I Kobi: Okay. Kevin: With me. GoFredo: definitely agree with you. Well, what you guys think, fellas? Kevin: Well, elements you take that, Kobe. GoFredo: We didn't hit a point. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: De LayTheDon: I'ma pose a question because I don't see anybody got no answer. That's a question. GoFredo: We done hit a point. no, no, Lei. We didn't hit a point. I wanna hear what this he didn't, he didn't, he didn't he didn't he didn't scratch his nose, lean his hand back. I wanna hear what he gotta say. LayTheDon: You look like you had a you have something. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: Hey boy, listen. Hey, hey, Lay, that man said. I knew it was gonna be lit. I knew his conversation was gonna get good. Kevin: He he had the look and then it gave me time to get my thoughts together, so I I figured I'll let him go. GoFredo: Yeah. LayTheDon: Well Kobe ain't got an answer. I got an answer for the fellow. Kobi: You just put me on the spot. Go ahead ask your question GoFredo: A question? LayTheDon: we're gonna use your we gonna we're gonna take it to the personal experience because you said something about being the Lulu and I delulu has his ways of creeping into relationships. GoFredo: Mm. LayTheDon: What is the most delulu thing you said or thought or did to make you still want to stay in your relation your longest relationship before you figured out that it wasn't gonna work out. Kobi: One day I'ma marry this woman. That was my delusion. LayTheDon: That was a dilemma. Kobi: That was my delusion. GoFredo: Dang. What about you, Kev? Kobi: That was my delusion. Kevin: Well that's the thing. It's like LayTheDon: Like what was your the Lulu like this gonna work out? Kevin: Well, you know, the problem with relationships is in general, is when your relationship is too too physically based. You know what I'm saying? When it's too physically based, you'd be like, you be in a bad mood, something pop off, and then you'd be like, you know what, she ain't even that bad. You know what I'm saying? And you just and you end up staying again. You know what I mean? That's I'm just being real with you. You'd be like, you know what, she ain't even that bad, man. LayTheDon: Sound like it sounded like she knew how to apologize properly. Kevin: You know what I'm saying? That's that's how it go. That's how it goes. LayTheDon: It sounded like she knew how to apologize properly. Kevin: That's how it goes. She ain't even that bad. You know what? Let me let me You know that's the that's the truth. That's the truth. GoFredo: She knew exactly what hey, she knew exactly what she was good at, and she did it because she Kobi: Okay. Thank LayTheDon: She says long as I apologize, right? GoFredo: I ain't gonna lie to you, Lei. I'm I'm with Kobe. It was one of those things to where it was just like, actually, I I got two ones. The first one to me was at Kobi: you GoFredo: first early, it was like what Kobe said, like, we're gonna we're gonna get married. Like no matter what the situation Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: is, we're gonna get married. And then the second one was after so many times of us, like, it was times we went apart, came back together, went apart, came back together. And it was just one of those things where it was just like, man. The man upstairs just keep putting her back in my life. This must be telling me something. Like I it was one of those things where I used to lie to myself and been like, man, it's a reason the universe keeps bringing us back together. It's a reason the universe keeps having our lives, our lifelines collide with each other. It was a reason behind it. And it w it goes back to my to my first point of we're we're we must be meant to get married too. We must be meant to be to marry each other. Because every time something happened, and it goes to what Kobe said, it was at a certain point. trauma bonding, but like after Kobi: Thank you. GoFredo: after years of dealing with each other and whatnot, it got to a point to where it was just like it was it or it at least felt like more than that. But then it got to the point where now I know like I'm older now and I look back on it like, nah, it was just the good guy that was always there for. That she knew that she can count on me. That's really what it was. So in my mind it was just one of those things like, man, soci not society, but the universe, keep bringing us back together. We must gonna get married. We must gonna make this work out. And then at the end of the day, it's just like, nah. Like, obviously we're not together today. We ain't talked in years. So now it's just like that. But now I also I'm older now and I look back on it to whatever just like, nah, I was just a I was just the first guy that was ever Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: there for her for real. And she knew that she can count on me every step of the way. And that and that's something I know is true for a fact. Like my Kev sitting right there. Kev was there. Kev was sitting right there for the whole time. Kevin: Yeah, yeah. GoFredo: It knew for a fact, like, no matter what the situation was, like she knew for a fact that on some on some like on some real man stuff, no matter what. And I'm like that for air. Like, yeah, y'all know that if I got it, y'all got it. But like for a relationship, it's a whole nother different level, especially for somebody had real genuine love for. So for her, like, Kobi: Okay. Okay. GoFredo: no matter what the situation was, she just knew that I was gonna be there for her. No matter what. But I use that, I'm thinking, as in, you know, we gonna make this work no matter what the situation is. So yeah, that was Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: my delusion. What about you, Lei? LayTheDon: All right, so remember when you know you know when they call me yeah, I I say that, you know when they call me toxic? from you know how and you also know how Kev said we think strategically, right? GoFredo: Make later demon. Kobi: Thank you. you GoFredo: It's really LayTheDon: my Dululu was half my bills was gonna be paid. Let me explain. Let me explain. GoFredo: Yeah, please do. Kobi: you LayTheDon: Because some people ain't gonna like my ass. Kevin: Mm. LayTheDon: Strategically, GoFredo: Like a lot. LayTheDon: strategically, if I want a man who is financially taking care of me, half my bills are paid, Kobi: Thank LayTheDon: we okay with paying put you know having that the Lulu, you know, because the Kobi: you LayTheDon: bills is paid. But when you are a woman who can't financially take care of all the bills yourself, it's the type of people that usually have that type of mindset. So like, I can pay everything myself. I could buy everything I want myself, but if I don't have Kobi: Thank LayTheDon: to, I guess I could put up with you a little bit because I ain't have to, but I can if I ever needed to. So Majalulu was I would be saving some money if I stayed with you. But just know if I ever did not need you, I don't need you. I can keep you curved, but it helps me if I stayed with you. But I really GoFredo: That's definitely a woman answer. LayTheDon: Don't need you. GoFredo: That's definitely a woman answer. 'Cause they're not another LayTheDon: Just say strategically, it makes sense. GoFredo: Hey, hey, I can t I can speak for the fellas when I can say What'd you say, Kia? Kevin: I get you. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: No, I was gonna say I I listen, I I I understand what you're saying. It just the fact that like, you know, it don't work like that for Kobi: you Kevin: us. It don't work like that for us, man. We you probably better say the same thing I was gonna say. Go ahead, bro. GoFredo: That's what I was gonna say. That's what that's what That's what I'm about to say. I Yeah, I was Hey, Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: I was gonna say I can speak for all three of us when I can say, Hey, none of us ever thought to ourselves. she covering all the bills, I can kick my face on a second. Kevin: Right. She's covering all the bills, right? That only works if we we we gotta take out we LayTheDon: Exactly. GoFredo: What? Kevin: gotta take out old old Agnes for her to take care of our bills, you know what I mean? She she 92 years old. LayTheDon: I mean GoFredo: Hey listen, hey listen, hey, I don't know what Kev Hey, I don't know what Kev talk about, but Agnes, hey, listen, I got student loans and all type of stuff. So if Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: you trying to get if you trying to get green, LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: let me know. I got write me a check. Green chat. Kevin: Listen man. That's that's that's go that's the only thing we could do, man. GoFredo: But nah, hey. Kevin: We we we'd be like we we gotta marry him. We gotta marry him old. Our wife gonna be you know, we 30, our wife ninety two. You know that's how that's how we make GoFredo: Seventy seven or something. Kevin: it. GoFredo: Hey, but you know what? Something crazy Kev that I do think I do think Lei had Lei said something I think is real that is real genuine that I noticed a lot of men do is that because they know and I know I think we talked about this one on episode two or I know it wasn't episode three, so I probably was episode two where it was just like with men with finances is because like if I'm paying everything, like I get the ability to kind of do whatever I want. Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: And what and whatnot. So it's just like Lacey at like and then you get like like Lay just told the lady straightforward and we and we know this. So where women to be like, well he covering the bills and whatnot, so I can put up with his nonsense for right now. And and then kind of go from there, but it goes to a point where you get to putting up with the nonsense so much that now the man has become comfortable with it. So now when you speak up, it's like, hold on, babe, wait, boy, your tone around here, you was just cool yesterday when I paid your cause the first thing a dude gonna say. Kevin: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. GoFredo: You weren't saying that when I paid your cotton note off. You weren't saying that I'm LayTheDon: Yep. GoFredo: not cotton off, but when I paid your note, you weren't saying that when I LayTheDon: No, Carnell, too, you are. GoFredo: what I'm that's what that's what the first thing they're gonna say. You weren't saying that when I paid this, you weren't saying that when I paid that. You didn't care about Keisha the other day. You ain't care Tamika. You ain't care about like now you trying to go through my phone and do all this. Like nah. That's the first thing they're gonna throw in your face. But I do believe, like if I ever ever ever have a daughter one day, like what Lei said, like, I want them to have the mindset of being being being able to be a go getter. No matter what the situation is. So no man will be able to throw that in your face and kind of let you know like, hey nah, because that's a whole nother different evil scenario or evil c evil type of thing that I know Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: like these soft cowards do. And I ain't and I'm I'm telling you, I ain't trying to belittle nobody or anything, but like, come on now, like on some real man stuff, like it's men out here that really like throw money because they know for a fact like I she ain't going nowhere. Like because I'm putting money to the table. She can't say nothing to me because I'm doing X, Y, and Z. Like, Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: come on now. We got sugar daddies that put that go get a girl a cop but keep it in her keeping in his name. You wanna know why? Cause as soon as she tweaks, what he gonna do? Gonna take that car from you. Now you on the outside. Come on now. It's women out here standing condos in buddy name. So what that mean? You better play you Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: boy, listen. Come on now. LayTheDon: I'm sure you won't. GoFredo: When you playing spades, you better have Boston or you're gonna be on the outside. And it's really straight like that. It really is. I ain't gonna lie to you. But I mean it's it's it's you know, it's the same way when it comes to like that for like for men that's doing their due diligence and you know, women screwing them over. And that's a whole nother whole nother conversation. Whole nother one. I can cook on them too. Definitely cook on them. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: Yeah, yeah. Listen, listen, bro, and you you you on point because and I and I'll say this, just because of what you were saying and and just make it more personal, because you you had a situation Kobi: you Kevin: and it was one of them things like so f for me, outside in, it's discouraging when you watch Kobi: you Kevin: like another man or like especially when it's your bro going through something, like he's doing all this stuff for this girl, you know what I'm saying? And she just Kobi: Okay. Kevin: all over the place. You know what I'm saying? Like it's like, yo, I don't even want GoFredo: Come on now. Kevin: to why would I want to do that for a woman when I just watch what happened to bro? You know what I mean? It's it's it's it's GoFredo: Come now. Kevin: completely discouraging. That's just that's just the truth. Like I done seen this I don't I done seen GoFredo: It is. Kevin: this story already. GoFredo: Okay. Nah, I ain't gonna lie to you, Kev, another thing is that it's discouraging to even see your homie. Like you don't you should like, Man, I don't even wanna bro, I can't even see you like this. Like I can't I can't even see you like Kevin: Yeah, GoFredo: this. 'Cause I know it's definitely been times where I've been in situations to where and like thankfully, you know, as bad as it may sound, I'm glad we was young at this time because I would hate to be that man now because that wouldn't even be like to come to you and tell you those type of things and be like, All right bro We done been here before. Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: Like, come on, let's figure this out now. And so to go through that that that young man stage and go through all those those as Kobe said, trials and tribulations and that point. Like now I'm at the point now to where like I done been in that situation so many times with just one person I can speak on. Like it's been other times, but on that one person situation, I'd have been in so many situations to be like, man, like like when I look back on it, sometimes like sometimes I'll be getting upset with myself. that I even let that I even let those like that level of anger or let her get to me or even do all the things I did for her and whatnot. But at the end the day, like, that's also me to my core. So I can't even let what happened between me and her change who I am. And I still haven't to this day and whatnot. Like, you know, I'm a I'm a pleaser. I'm a lover boy. I w I wanna be that. But now I'm at the point now to where I'm standing on business when I say something. Now it's just like, nah, we ain't playing that game. Now it's like, hey, if you tweaking, it's time to move around. So it's just that now, because now it's just like it goes to what Kobe was saying, I know my worth. So now it's just like not only do I know my worth, I'm standing on that. Tent toes, and if you don't like it, hey, you Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: there you go, the dough right there. I ain't I I I promise I ain't gonna stop you. I prom I get Charles Barkley, I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Kobi: And don't let it you on your way out. GoFredo: Hey, listen. And listen, I promise you I I'm locking the door behind you. Cause it ain't no you ain't getting back in. You ain't getting back in at all. But you know, we live and we learn though. And that's why we're here talking to the youth. Or j I mean, not even just the youth, to everybody. 'Cause there's people in our age category that's still going through the same thing that we went through in our early twenties. Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: And it's just like you know, I hope they hear what we gotta say. I truly do. LayTheDon: You know, we're gonna continue this conversation in a different light. But to close it out, I wanna end with a question. Cause you know I love to end with a question so y'all can feed back and give me answers and give me, you know, give me some GoFredo: Yeah she goes. LayTheDon: feedback, give me something to talk about on the next episode. Give them something to talk about on the next episode. The question I got. that I'm posing for the next episode to my gentlemen. Cause the ladies want Kobi: you LayTheDon: to know. Why y'all always want us when we ready to leave? GoFredo: Yeah, that's for the exchange, y'all. Kobi: hahahaha LayTheDon: What you're saying, bring out.