Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Why Most Families Feel Stuck and How to Fix It

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Why Most Families Feel Stuck and How to Fix It · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Today on the Happy Families Podcast, the thing that moves
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  Speaker 1: the needle for us most when it comes to making
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  Speaker 1: family life work. We've talked about it before, but every
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  Speaker 1: time we discuss it on the pod, we get people saying, oh,
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  Speaker 1: my goodness, I've got to try this. This is going
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  Speaker 1: to be a game changer, and it is if you
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  Speaker 1: have a family. If you want your family to function better,
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  Speaker 1: you want to hear what we do every twelve weeks
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  Speaker 1: to make sure that ours is I was going to say,
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  Speaker 1: humming in tune, firing on all four or six. I
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  Speaker 1: have many cylinders. You've got, My goodness, we have eight cylinders.
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  Speaker 1: We've got eight people in our family. Stay with us,
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  Speaker 1: because next we will tell you exactly what it is
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  Speaker 1: that makes our family function best and how you can
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  Speaker 1: do it too. It's the Happy Families Podcast. Next. Hello,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Happy Families podcast, where you get real
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  Speaker 1: parenting solutions every single day. This is Australia's most downloaded
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: parenting podcast where Justin and Kylie calls today it's twenty
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: eight years, honey, twenty eight years of marriage. Obviously you
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  Speaker 1: forgot yesterday that it was today, but.
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  Speaker 2: You're so hard on me.
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  Speaker 1: I did not forget when we said into the podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Misunderstood that we weren't recording our anniversary podcast.
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  Speaker 1: Episode before on the day.
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  Speaker 2: Of our anniversary. You have milked this.
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  Speaker 1: For all and it has been worth a great deal.
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  Speaker 1: It has been so much fun Kylie. Today, we're going
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  Speaker 1: to have a pretty short podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I'm just going to throw you under the bus,
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  Speaker 2: because we went away this past weekend, just gone, and
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  Speaker 2: that was to celebrate our anniversary. Yes, And when we
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  Speaker 2: got to the counter, the lady said, so are you
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  Speaker 2: celebrating anything special? And you said, oh, no, you're just
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  Speaker 2: getting away. I think that is worse just.
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  Speaker 1: Saying well, well it was several days before our anniversary,
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  Speaker 1: so we were not actually celebrating.
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  Speaker 2: All right.
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  Speaker 1: So here's the thing.
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  Speaker 2: We love each other.
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  Speaker 1: Right in the start of this pod, in the introduction,
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  Speaker 1: I've said the one thing, maybe the one thing, one
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  Speaker 1: of the biggest things that we do to make sure
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  Speaker 1: that we're on the same page, that our families functioning well,
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  Speaker 1: that we're firing on all eight cylinders. Because we've got
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  Speaker 1: six kids plus you and I makes eight. What are
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  Speaker 1: we doing? What's happening here? We talk about this from
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  Speaker 1: time to time, and yet every single time we talk
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  Speaker 1: about it, people go, oh, that's a great idea of
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  Speaker 1: Oh that's I remember you talking about that, and I
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  Speaker 1: said I was going to do something and I didn't.
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  Speaker 1: And while we were doing this particular thing just over
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  Speaker 1: the last few days, somebody asked us what we're up to.
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  Speaker 1: We explained what it was, and they were like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: my goodness, I have got to start doing this. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: let me go further. It was a breakfast presenter for
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  Speaker 1: one of the biggest radio stations in the country.
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  Speaker 2: Well, her comment was actually the best. How she says,
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  Speaker 2: I'm not telling him it's quarterly. I'm telling him it's monthly.
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  Speaker 2: I want this in my life. She also did suggest
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  Speaker 2: that when they go out to dinner, she pulls out the.
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  Speaker 1: Notebook and he goes, of course, here we go.
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  Speaker 2: There's an agenda.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so let's get into it. We call
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  Speaker 1: this our quarterly getaway or a quarterly immersion. And the
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  Speaker 1: background is really really simple. Years ago, when I did
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  Speaker 1: a lot more corporate work, I would often talk about
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  Speaker 1: what is the most important thing in your life? And
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  Speaker 1: people would say my family, and I'd say, well, we're
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  Speaker 1: here talking about business. But when was the last time
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  Speaker 1: you went away to a seminar to work out how
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  Speaker 1: to do things better with your family, and everyone will
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, so I said to them, when you
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  Speaker 1: are working in your business, how often do you sit
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  Speaker 1: down and put together your year or your quarter or
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  Speaker 1: your week? Like, what's your rhythm for that? And most
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  Speaker 1: people who are running moderately to highly successful businesses will
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  Speaker 1: tell you that they have quarterly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals,
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  Speaker 1: and they've got their annual big picture. But they tend
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  Speaker 1: to work in quarters. It's quarter one, quarter two, quarter three,
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  Speaker 1: quarter four. Everything's based on quarters, and it's either upscaled
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  Speaker 1: or broken down from there. And they do these quarterly
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  Speaker 1: business meetings, these quarterly strategy sessions. And I said, well,
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  Speaker 1: if your family is the most important thing in your life,
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  Speaker 1: when was the last time you had a quarterly strategy
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  Speaker 1: session for your family? And everyone in this conference just
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  Speaker 1: looked at me like I had eaten a bad burrito.
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  Speaker 1: What is this guy going on about? Where is this
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  Speaker 1: coming from? And I said, no, seriously, what would that
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  Speaker 1: look like? And they had no idea anyway. You and
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  Speaker 1: I had been talking about it, we had been doing
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  Speaker 1: it for a while. This quarterly immersion. I've got a
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  Speaker 1: friend who is very, very highly placed in the finance industry.
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  Speaker 1: When I talked to him about it, he started doing
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  Speaker 1: it with his wife. He got back to me about
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  Speaker 1: a year later and said, we've done four of them.
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  Speaker 1: It's changed our lives. And it's literally as follows, based
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  Speaker 1: on your circumstances, because everyone's going to be in a
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  Speaker 1: different situation. You and your partner disappear for two nights.
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  Speaker 1: If you care well, the kids disappear the kids, the
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  Speaker 1: kids go to the grandparents whatever. It depends on who
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  Speaker 1: you've got to support you and how that will work,
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  Speaker 1: and it depends on the age of your children and
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  Speaker 1: so on and so forth. We didn't do it for
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  Speaker 1: a couple of years because it was just too hard.
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  Speaker 1: But you go away or the kids go away.
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  Speaker 2: And maybe you can't do two nights. I mean that's
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  Speaker 2: the dream, right, two nights. I can't. If you can't
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  Speaker 2: do the nights, just give us up a day. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: but kids are at school and from nine to three
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  Speaker 2: you were just immersed in this.
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  Speaker 1: You take a day of annual leave, or you do
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  Speaker 1: it on a Saturday when the kids are organizing playdates
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  Speaker 1: and you lock in a number of hours, and you
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  Speaker 1: get focused on your family. If the family is the
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  Speaker 1: most important thing in your life, then you get focused
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  Speaker 1: on the family. So you and I our rules are
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  Speaker 1: as follows. We go away for two nights. We try
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  Speaker 1: to get to wherever we're going early afternoon so that
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  Speaker 1: we've got the afternoon in the evening, then all of
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  Speaker 1: the next day because we're going to be checking out
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  Speaker 1: at like ten o'clock the morning of the final day.
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  Speaker 1: Number two, we stay within about an hour of home ish,
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  Speaker 1: and the reason for that is we don't want to
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  Speaker 1: waste a whole lot of time traveling. This is about
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  Speaker 1: getting high quality time together and being focused on what's
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  Speaker 1: going on. Number three, we've got a very clear agenda.
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  Speaker 1: While we want to have a lot of fun, we
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  Speaker 1: want to really enjoy spending time together. We've got stuff
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  Speaker 1: that we've got to talk about. But we also run
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  Speaker 1: Number four want to have some fun. We want to
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  Speaker 1: be able to enjoy it. It's not all business, because
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  Speaker 1: otherwise that'd be less fun. So we want to make
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  Speaker 1: sure we have fun. Have I missed any rules or
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  Speaker 1: is that about it?
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  Speaker 2: No?
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  Speaker 1: That's good, okay, cool, But.
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  Speaker 2: The reality is that it can be hard to find
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  Speaker 2: the balance. Sometimes. Sometimes we've had getaways where it's been
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  Speaker 2: too much fun and we haven't done.
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  Speaker 1: A lot of talking, and I've come home annoyed at
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  Speaker 1: you because you always want to have fun and I
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  Speaker 1: want to be serious and we didn't get the stop
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  Speaker 1: and any.
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  Speaker 2: Other times, and there's I've been other times where it's
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  Speaker 2: been all serious and not enough fun and I.
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  Speaker 1: Come home cranky at me because you didn't get to
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  Speaker 1: have any fun and that was all about the agenda.
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  Speaker 2: So it does take. It takes time to kind of work.
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  Speaker 1: It out, but the balance.
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  Speaker 2: Finding the balance is really important. It's such a huge
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  Speaker 2: touch point in our relationship to be able to have
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  Speaker 2: two nights. It's not worry about the days, just two
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  Speaker 2: nights of uninterrupted time conversations can be had without having
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  Speaker 2: to stop and then forgetting where you were because there's
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  Speaker 2: been three major challenges in the kitchen.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, something's on fire the last fifteen minutes. Every time
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  Speaker 1: we go away, the phone doesn't stop ringing the kids
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  Speaker 1: like she's not being nice.
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  Speaker 2: That is our fault. We could just turn the phones
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  Speaker 2: off and say when not contact.
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  Speaker 1: Well, then I wouldn't be pairing expert. So after the break.
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  Speaker 1: We're going to take you behind the curtain. We're going
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  Speaker 1: to tell you exactly what we talked about on our
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  Speaker 1: weekend away so that you can put your own agenda
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  Speaker 1: together based on this as inspiration hopefully maybe perhaps and
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  Speaker 1: make your quarterly getaways, your quarterly immersions become par for
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  Speaker 1: the course for what your family does, to get on
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  Speaker 1: the same page and to absolutely thrive and flourish statements.
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  Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Families Podcast twenty eighth
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  Speaker 1: wedding Anniversary edition, giving you a peek behind the curtain.
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  Speaker 1: What happened on our weekend away.
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  Speaker 2: Well, you forgot. It was our anniversary celebration.
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  Speaker 1: And we discussed how we could make our family question better. So, Kylie,
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  Speaker 1: you've got the notepad there, you're going to whis us
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  Speaker 1: through it. There are a lot of things that we
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  Speaker 1: talk about when we do this.
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  Speaker 2: I don't want to ski everybody, but there's about thirty
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  Speaker 2: pages of notes, like we're.
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  Speaker 1: Not getting serious work effs and stuff to be done.
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  Speaker 2: This is essentially our first quarter for the year. We're
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  Speaker 2: doing a follow up from the one that we did
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  Speaker 2: just before Christmas to set the year up.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so in December we were like Okay, Christmas coming up,
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  Speaker 1: We've got Christmas sort of, but what's happening in January one?
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  Speaker 1: So Kylie, let's go through the agenda items. What did
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  Speaker 1: we discuss? What should people consider putting on their agenda?
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  Speaker 2: I think the most important thing, first of all, is
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  Speaker 2: to start with a bit of a mind map, sit down,
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  Speaker 2: brainstorm together. What are the areas of your life? Like
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  Speaker 2: all of them, put them all on the page. That's
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  Speaker 2: why there's thirty pages of notes because as we pulled
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  Speaker 2: our lives apart my my mud map, it had each
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  Speaker 2: of our kids' names. There's six things to talk about
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  Speaker 2: all of a sudden, holidays, homeschooling, time with friends, what
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  Speaker 2: does a calendar look like? Screens and devices, What hasn't
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  Speaker 2: gone well? What's worked this year? Answers, extra curricular, our
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  Speaker 2: spiritual lives, family dinners, renovations, physical fitness, babysitting, like it
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  Speaker 2: just keeps going.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that doesn't include all the stuff that we
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  Speaker 1: talk about in relation to the business. So there's the podcast,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and there's the writing and the books and the travel
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  Speaker 1: and everything that I'm doing from a business point of view.
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  Speaker 1: There's a day's worth of conversation just in that easily.
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  Speaker 1: So let's get into the nitty gritty to the well,
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  Speaker 1: we're not going to go nitty gritty, but let's know.
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  Speaker 2: What the exciting thing is. Once you've got that mud map,
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  Speaker 2: you can pull things apart. And some of those things
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  Speaker 2: are going to take five minutes to talk about. Some
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  Speaker 2: of those things you're going to be talking about all
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  Speaker 2: year because there's so much challenge and tension around how.
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  Speaker 1: It works, and there are some things where there's no resolution.
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  Speaker 1: This is just what we do, and so we want
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  Speaker 1: to make sure that we're working towards it. So the
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  Speaker 1: first thing that we picked up was.
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  Speaker 2: I took you down a bit of a rabbit hole.
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  Speaker 2: You don't really like it, but I asked you if
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: you could pick three words that would encompass how you
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  Speaker 2: saw twenty twenty.
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  Speaker 1: Six, how I want to feel at the end of
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  Speaker 1: the year.
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  Speaker 2: What would they be? And I think that has actually
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  Speaker 2: changed the way we came together this time.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to feel vital, We want to be
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  Speaker 1: really intentional, and we wanted to have high levels of connection.
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  Speaker 2: And so as we go through our weekly catch ups
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  Speaker 2: where we come together and we chat and we check in,
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  Speaker 2: we're able to tap in with.
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  Speaker 1: Those three words probably worth highlighting. We do the quarterly immersion,
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  Speaker 1: but then every week we just go through here are
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  Speaker 1: the main things that we talked about. Here we're our goals,
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  Speaker 1: here's our focus.
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  Speaker 2: How do we pages?
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  Speaker 1: No, it is just the summary. How are we going,
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  Speaker 1: what's working, what's not? Where do we need to get realigned?
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  Speaker 1: And that keeps us on track so that every twelve
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  Speaker 1: weeks when we sit down for this, we've got a
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  Speaker 1: really good assessment of where we're up to.
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  Speaker 2: So having that mud map, having that focus then helps
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  Speaker 2: us as we move forward if we use that focus
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  Speaker 2: as the ability to look at each of these areas
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  Speaker 2: of our lives and how they are impacted by what
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  Speaker 2: we want to achieve.
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  Speaker 1: So, Kylie, once we had that set up, what's next
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  Speaker 1: for us?
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  Speaker 2: Spirituality is at the top of our list. That's how
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  Speaker 2: everything we do is governed by that. So we talked
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: about our spiritual lives and what that looks like, and
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  Speaker 2: we broke it down into all the different areas that
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  Speaker 2: make up what we consider our spirituality.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, what are we doing daily and weekly at a
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  Speaker 1: personal level and with the family to make sure that
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  Speaker 1: that's on track and helping me serving people heading in
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  Speaker 1: the direction that matters.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, then we looked at our physical well being. This
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: was a really big one and we've talked about this
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  Speaker 2: a lot throughout the beginning of the year, this journey
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  Speaker 2: that I'm on specifically, but you're joining me in well
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  Speaker 2: being and it does. It's not glamorous, but the idea
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: that we are training for old age. We want to
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  Speaker 2: be strong. We want to be It's not about being
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: muscular and fit and all of that kind of st
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  Speaker 2: It's about being strong mentally, physically, emotionally so that we
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  Speaker 2: can carry ourselves for as long as we hear.
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  Speaker 1: So the critical thing about this, whether it's the spiritual
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  Speaker 1: or physical or anything that you're going to talk about
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: in the next mineral two is we don't just say, well,
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  Speaker 1: what do we want to do. We talk about specific implementation. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so let's say, let's let's stick on physical healthful.
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  Speaker 2: We've break it down right. We looked at diet, We
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: looked at our routine. We looked at exercise and how
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: many days we're going to exercise.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: What are we going to do for exercise, where are
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: we going to be doing it, who are we going
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to be doing it with, what time are we going
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: to be doing it? Like we broke it down so
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: we know exactly what exercise looks like. Same with diet.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: What are we eating, what are we not eating? What's
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: our meal lists, what's our program? How are we going
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: to get it? Do we know enough about the diet
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: that we need macros and micros and all that sort
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: of stuff like this is why we need two days?
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: And then if exercise is huge and diet is changing,
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: which is going to require more of me in the kitchen,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: we actually have to look at routine. How are we
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: going to make this happen.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so if we're going to have food and we're
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: going to be eating at this time and we're going
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: to go for a walk after dinner, that means we've
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: got to have dinner at this time, which means we've
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: got to start prepping it at this time. And how
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: is that going to work? Because we've got busy lives
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: and we can't be at home at this time to
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: get the prep doune, So make sure we have the
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: meal on time. So it's kind of like a reorganization
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: of our lives so that we can achieve the things
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: that we want, or recognizing that the things we want
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: are unachieved, and therefore making the compromises that are necessary
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: to get as close to it as we can given
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: what our life structures demand of us.
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  Speaker 2: So the next big one was finances. This actually spilled
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: over on a few pages. We've set some really big
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: goals this year, and we're working really really hard to
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: achieve them.
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  Speaker 1: There is a bank's not helping us to achieve those goals.
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  Speaker 2: Gosh. But then on top of setting those really big
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  Speaker 2: goals that we then set stretch goals. So we're going
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: to try even harder than our big goals to achieve this.
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  Speaker 2: And what's really cool about the whole goal setting thing
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  Speaker 2: and the idea of stretch goals is sometimes you're not
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  Speaker 2: going to make it. You're going to be completely, like,
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  Speaker 2: just squashed.
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  Speaker 1: Our commitment is we are not fanatical about this. This
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  Speaker 1: is what we're working towards, and simply by being on
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: the same page and working towards it, we get closer
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  Speaker 1: to it than we would if we didn't have these
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: conversations at all, and we were just flying by the
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: seat of our pants. Okay, so we've got spiritual, we've
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: got physical, we've got financial.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Then we looked family holidays. We broke the year up
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: into quarters, and we looked at what we would like
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: to do as a family in each of the quarters.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: So some quarters it's not even about going away. We've
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: booked in family photos for this quarter. This is really
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: important to us or.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: One of the kids seing the grandparents because the grandparents
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: live a long way and how can we get them there.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: We've got a family holiday booked in later in the year,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: but then at the end of the year, we're just
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: doing a family outing together.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I remember speaking to friends and they had their holidays
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: planned for this year and next year. That's going back
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: years ago, and I was like, who plans to holidays
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: that foreign advance. But now we started doing this, it's like, Oh,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: we know where we're going and what we're doing because
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: we've sat down and done the work. It's amazing.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: We talked about renovations and we pulled them to pieces,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: and then we talked about work, the podcasts, blah blah
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: blah blah blah, and then more finances, and then we
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: started talking about relationships. We talked about just you and I,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: what were the things that irked us about each other,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: what we were driving each other crazy.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: A quick note on that, we don't say what's irking
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: you right now, and we don't get into the nitty
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: gritty of how we can be Oh, let's.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Just be real. You said you didn't like that I
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: fart that seriously, we're getting into the nitty gritty here.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And you may have also said at this quarterly getaway
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: that it shows you that I love you the most
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: when I don't fart in front of you. Yeah, there
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: you go.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: That's real sacrifice because you'd feel better if you did, probably,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: but holding it in couple of you said on the podcast.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: We then we actually calendared our quarterly getaways in December,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: so we know exactly where we're going, when we're going,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: how we are going to achieve that.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: So they are locked in, which means that we are
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: going to do this every quarter so that we can
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: stay on the same page.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: We recommitted to monthly date nights and we calendered them.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: They're in the calendar. We know that on the fourth
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Friday of every month that is our night. And we
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: also talked about how our weekly catch ups and how
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: that was important.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And once we've done you and I then we talk
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: about each of the six children, and we all so
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: talk about time with friends. They're kind of.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: The vitality and tension connection. Yep, if those are our goals,
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: then these are the things that matter.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: And so we were planning on making this podcast last
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: for approximately six minutes. We thought we could give you
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: a quick run through of what we do when we
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: have our quarterly getaway so that you can get the
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: vibe and go and do it yourself. But as you
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: can see, it's impossible to even describe it in less
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: than fifteen to twenty minutes because there's so much to do.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: And yet, if I go back to the very first
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: thing I said in the introduction of this podcast, it's
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: these quarterly getaways and having these conversations about all these
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: things that matter to us so profoundly that helps us
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: to be aligned. It helps us to stay on the
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: same page. It helps us to listen to one another
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: and see what's important to the other so that we
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: can consider that in all the decisions that we make.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: And truly, I think that it's, if not at the
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: very core of our success and happiness in our relationship,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: it's certainly one of several fundamentals that makes so difference. Well,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: maybe it is because it allows us to discuss and
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: review and plan for and work through everything that is
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: fundamental to who we are as a couple and what
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: our family is.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: So the absolute highlight from this weekend's getaway was because
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: we put so much effort and intention into December's catch
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: up in setting up our year. As we went through
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: and revisited everything that we spoke about, specifically with the kids.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: That was actually the real powerful part for me was
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: just being able to tickle those boxes and say, oh
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: my gosh, look like by tracking look at the progress
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: of a three months, we can see progress.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: How's it going to be the end of the year.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Because you get you get so caught up in the
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: mundane of everyday life, it's so hard sometimes to see progress.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: But we actually have written proof of the things that
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: we were worried about, the things that we talked about
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: needed to happen, to improve things, and all of those
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: things have happened. And so the last thing is, now
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: that we've done that review, what are the action items
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: moving forward? Because it's about progress, it's about intention, it's
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: about connection.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, So that's what we did, and that's what we
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: think will make a big difference for you in your relationship. Kylie,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: we have a wedding anniversary to go and celebrate, so
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: let's strap up this pod now. And I know we
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: celebrated last weekend, but we need to do something now,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: so let's go. Thanks so much for listening, have a
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: great weekend. Alder Better Tomorrow returns next week as well
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: as the other stuff we've got to talk about on
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the pod, which is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Mim Hammond's provides research, admin and additional support and if
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: you would like to know how to make your family happier,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: please visit us at Happy Families dot com dot au
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: or go to book Topia and pre order the brand
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: new Boys book Boys by Me Building Strong Young Men
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: from the Inside Out at Hit stores in June