Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / What If Truth Isn't What You Were Taught — And That's Actually Okay? - A Personal Reflection
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:30) What is truth? This is a question I have googled and studied and thought about a lot. And I went and saw the second half of Wicked tonight. And in one of the songs, The Wizard of Oz mentions that truth is whatever we agree upon. So essentially truth is whatever we say it is. And ⁓ I've thought of absolute truth, subjective truth, and I personally have a hard time believing that there is absolute truth in ⁓ especially non-scientific-y things like Gravity is gravity. Like what goes up must come down. That is true. I would imagine that there are some people or someone out there that would probably argue with that. ⁓ I think there are some points that are harder to argue is true. ⁓ But I do believe in more subjective truth. A lot of this life is based upon our lens, how we see it. I find it fascinating that we could all be experiencing the same concert, the same speaker, the same event, the ⁓ occasion with family, and we would all. say it happened a little bit differently, or you would take something different from it. If you're listening to a speaker, certain messaging from that speaker would stand out to you more than other parts, right? How you internalized it based upon your perspective of the world, what you value, ⁓ the experiences you've had, the biases that you have. I, it's just so interesting. ⁓ And a big part of religion is like acknowledging what is true. And I have a hard, it is hard for me now to use that term truth with religion. Because to me it is just so subjective and it's based on faith, which you don't have. like tangible evidence for. ⁓ It's more internal, which is such for me a beautiful part of religion and spirituality. It's going inward. And what matters to me? What do I want to put my faith in? What do I want to believe? How do I want to? live? What rules do I want to follow? What values do I want to admonish? So truth is an interesting one. In fact, my husband and I, that was probably one of the most emotional, intense conversations we had is when I was in the beginning of my wrestle with my religion that I just was not understanding truth. And I was trying to work through those emotions and that frustration. And he was so sweet and patient with me. Even it was hard that we didn't see it eye to eye, which was new for us as well. Not being on the same page with how we viewed our church, the Church of Jesus Christ, the Latter-day Saints, and how my perspective was transforming and changing. And that was... kind of scary and a big part of my process. And now I'm so grateful and it's been such a beautiful thing and it's not as scary and threatening now, but it certainly feels that way in the beginning. ⁓ When you have held to something as absolute truth and the right way of doing life. And then all of a sudden that doesn't seem true anymore. You kind of flounder for a minute until you settle into what could be. and giving myself that permission and showing myself grace in the process has made all the difference and allowed me to find peace and still be able to participate in my religion. And yeah, I'm very content with where I am right now. There's some days that are harder than others, but even when I was all in, in the traditional sense and believing that everything was true. Some days were hard. Let's be honest. You don't always want to go to church some days. You don't want to prepare your lesson or Give your talk ⁓ You don't want to have to text people reminders about coming to an activity or whatever Those are just part of being a part of a community, right? And when you choose that It's okay to not want to do that some days But ultimately it is what I want to do and that's why I continue to participate and I do love the opportunity to nourish my spirit in that way every week. It works for me. Another big part of the movie Wicked that resonates with me so much is the concept of good and bad or good and wicked, right? We have Alphaba who is the Wicked Witch and Glinda the Good and Alphaba is, her story is so beautiful and how She's trying to do good and make change and be helpful. And yet the people don't see it that way. They see it as scary and harmful and hurtful and fearful. And then she just decides, well, to heck with it. I'm just going to be wicked then. If that's what they expect me to be and how they see me, I'm just gonna be that. And how often Do we see things that way? Do we see the way people are being as bad when they're actually just doing their best? And our best sometimes looks pretty crappy, doesn't it? When we're at a moment of... low and frustration or sad or grief or desperation. Our best can look pretty minimal or pretty awful in the eyes of others and that is where compassion and empathy and grace come in. I've really been trying to see people as God sees them. And you can reframe that however works for you. Try and see people as their true self. Try to see people as their highest self. I'm sure you can think of some other ways of framing that, but. We all have our moments where we don't show up as our true self or highest self. ⁓ But it's still us. we are, all of us are both. We're the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. It's essential. Like we can't know one without the other and we are whole amidst all of it. One of the most influential movies for me right now, other than Wicked, you're gonna love this one, is actually K-pop Demon Hunters, my friends. I did not understand the K-pop Demon Hunter movement that was happening around me until everyone started talking about it. And I was like, what is this? I thought it was a little TV series. for kids and then all the adults were talking about it and one of my friends was like, okay, we need to watch this movie and the music was blown up, right? I didn't even know that a bunch of the songs I was hearing on the radio was in relation to this movie. So I watched this movie with my friend and I was so moved by the songs and the theme and moral of the movie. and the concept of being broken as being like embracing that as a part of you. And I've thought a lot about this, like being broken is a part of your wholeness. Like what if you really could be broken and whole at the same time? Like we're not always humans, we're not always beings that need to be fixed. I think there's change and perspective, like changing our perspective on life, on things. I change is important, but you can't undo what has already been done. You can't undo as far as like experiences you've had, ⁓ things that you... do that you say you can't take them back, you can't erase them, things that have been done to you and said to you. ⁓ Those make us who we are and are integral to our becoming of who we are. You have to have both. have to have the light. You have to have the darkness. And together, That's how we become. unstoppable and empowered and beautiful. That's what I really loved in the song. Is it Golden? I don't remember which song it is. But where she talks about being broken and there's beauty in that. And it doesn't have to mean anything negative about me. And I'm just learning more and more that we can try to show up as our highest best self, ⁓ all the time. like in this moment, I'm kind of wondering like, I guess highest and best self, doesn't mean perfect, not making mistakes, not offending people, not saying the wrong thing, not getting angry. That's not. what my highest self is and yet that's what we tend to think. ⁓ Two episodes ago I talk about living in a higher vibration, which is obviously where we feel more joy and peace and comfort, but we're constantly going through both and that's essential. And when we are in the low, it's important to acknowledge being there, giving it time and acknowledgement and grace. and compassion for ourselves and others that are experiencing lower vibration, lower emotions, and then working our way back up. But you have to have both. can't, you'll never appreciate the happiness, enjoy and peace if you've never experienced the misery and grief and all of those lower vibrations, lower emotions, lower experiences. But all of them are a part of who we are, a part of being our highest, best, authentic selves. And try as we may, I don't know if I could ever be a person that doesn't get angry. And are we ever even supposed to? Like, are we supposed to reach a place where we're just... non combative, not angry, not frustrated. I don't think so. Maybe, maybe, maybe that's what pure enlightenment is and pure peace like Mother Teresa and some of these people, I kind of picture them not getting their feathers ruffled. But I think for most of us, it's learning to Like we don't have to hurt people intentionally. And if when we do hurt people with our words or our actions, try to make peace as quickly as possible. But time isn't necessary too and giving ourselves that time when we are experiencing again, that lower vibration, that lower energy, giving it space, giving it acknowledgement, giving it time, working through it. And then, all right, let's change this. But this is all of me, I'm all of these things. And everyone else around me is all of the emotions, the highs, the lows, the good, the bad, the light, the darkness. And that is what is beautiful about us. We are all of it. And to allow it, obviously we don't need to allow people to hurt us or take advantage of us. And even with that, I find fascinating. Like some person might be like, that was so wrong. You hurt me. And they'll be like, no, I didn't. But how do we, ⁓ in those moments where we don't see eye to eye, how can we still take care of each other? That is the work that needs to be done, I think. So anyway, lots of thoughts, truth. ⁓ Authenticity, being your most aligned self, and embracing every part of you. I think those are the big takeaways from this. And I highly recommend you go watch the first and second part of Wicked because it is beautiful and amazing. And if the broadway ever comes near to you, please go see it. Fun side note, I got to see Wicked back in 2005. 2005 it was because here's the backstory. So I was playing volleyball. It was my junior year. My aunt was going to New York and I was gonna go with her to see Wicked but I had to ask my volleyball coach, tell my volleyball coach actually that I was going and I remember she told me like, okay, you can go but you probably won't be a starter. And I said, okay. And I went to New York anyway and I was not a starter that year but like volleyball was fun for me. It wasn't like something I took super seriously or ever was ambitious to play in college or anything. going to New York was no big deal. But I do find it interesting that like, why is that necessary to hold over kids' heads in sports? I hope we don't do that anymore. I'm sure it still happens. But funny enough, and then I got to see Wicked on Broadway with Kristin Chenowick. who was the original Glinda of Wicked when it came out in its prime. So that it was life-changing and amazing and I love the resurgence of it in the movies. They have such a beautiful message that can impact and relate to all of us. I just, gosh, I just love people so much. my gosh. Boohoo all the time. This is so silly. In fact, I just, I'm learning a little bit about astrology and my sign is cancer. And cancer is in relation to like my word or sign symbol, I don't know, is love. And at first I was kind of annoyed by that. I was like, that's kind of lame. And yeah, I was like, wait, Brynn, your whole mission is to unify. ⁓ Mankind and bring more light and love into the world. I was like, oh, this is actually so cool That my Sign cancer is in relation to love and I need to look more into that. This is very new for me, but I just I think you're all amazing don't even know who's listening to this, but thank you for your time and I would hope that you can find ways to embrace all the parts of you. What you think is bad, what you think is unworthy. What you think is ugly, what you're ashamed of. and also find what you're proud of and what you love about yourself. What you find beautiful and amazing. Because I believe our heavenly parents love all parts of us. I believe my own parents love all parts of me. I'm sure not everyone can say that about their parents or their spouses, but, ⁓ anyone in their lives. But I hope that you take the time to Figure out the kind of life that you want to live and how you want to show up and be in this experience, this life experience, and how you can make the most of it, how you can live an awesome life and embrace all parts of you as you're striving to accomplish living how you want to live. And I am cheering you on. And I think you're amazing just because you are you. And that is enough. Make it a great day. You're awesome.