Latest / Nonprofit Launch Plan Podcast for Startup, Small, and Growing Nonprofits / When a Donor Says Yes… But the Gift Never Comes (Ep. 65)
Transcript
- Matt Stockman (00:00) donor looks you in the eye and says, I'm gonna give you five thousand dollars to help with this, which you think great. Except a week goes by and the gift doesn't come, and then another week and then a month goes by, and you're asking, now what? Do I call them? Do I send them an email? Or do I pretend that this conversation never happened? And at what point does following up cross the line from being appropriately persistent to just being pushy? If you've ever had a donor tell you they were going to give and then the gift never showed up, which is really common, today I want to give you a simple way to handle the conversation without damaging the donor relationship. Welcome to the Nonprofit Launch Plan Podcast for startups, small and growing nonprofits. This podcast exists to help you build your nonprofit from the ground up on a financially strong foundation by providing clear frameworks, practical tools, and real-world guidance that you can actually put into practice. I'm Matt Stockman. I'm a nonprofit growth coach, and I'm really glad you're here. At Nonprofit Launch Plan, we believe that every successful nonprofit has to be operating at peak performance across six key areas. Those areas are leadership, fundraising, marketing, programs and services, operations, and finances. So on every episode, we focus on one of these core areas to help you make lasting impact in your nonprofit. Before we dive into today's episode, the number one problem challenge you're facing as an executive director of your nonprofit is fundraising. It's everyone's number one problem. How do we get the money we need to do the work that we're called to do? And it can feel really overwhelming not knowing where to start or what to do to secure consistent financial support for your mission. That's why I created the Fearless Fundraising Framework. It's a simple five-step approach that not only equips you with a clear fundraising strategy and plan, but actually gives you the words to say in one-on-one conversations and emails on your website and in all your fundraising communication. That will bring in more dollars and get you more yeses, which means more money to fully fund your nonprofit and achieve your mission. You can schedule a complimentary 90-minute coaching call with me where we'll build your fearless fundraising framework together. You'll leave that session with the problem solution, ask, urgency, action, all five steps all clearly plotted out, giving you the confidence that you need to invite others into partnering with you financially. And we'll also talk about what it could look like to work together on growing your nonprofit. Without it, you're missing out on getting financial gifts from supporters who would gladly support your work if you simply invited them with clarity and confidence. And less money means less people getting the benefit of your nonprofit's work. Imagine leading your nonprofit with a steady stream of funding to power all the programs that you want to launch and making the impact that you dream of making. With support like that, your nonprofit. will thrive for years to come. So if you're ready to transform your fundraising success, go ahead, schedule your complimentary coaching call today, where you and I will build your fearless fundraising framework together so you can start raising the money you need to make the impact that you dream about. go to nonprofitlaunchplan dot com and just click book a call. Again, that's nonprofitlaunchplan dot com and click book a call. Okay, let's talk about one of those awkward situations in fundraising that almost nobody teaches you how to handle. You've had a great conversation with somebody about your nonprofit. They understand the mission. They're excited about what you're doing. Maybe you've even made a specific ask and they said yes. I'd love to help. I want to be involved. I'm going to give you that $5,000 that you're asking for for this project. Send me the link. I'll take care of that this week. So you do. You walk away feeling pretty good about the conversation. You're excited about the future. Then a week goes by. Then a second week goes by. The gift never comes. And this is where you get stuck. You're not alone. A lot of nonprofit leaders get stuck in this moment right here because you don't want to make the donor uncomfortable. You don't want them to think that all you care about is their money. And you certainly don't want to sound like a collection agency chasing down an unpaid bill. So because you're not sure what exactly to do, you wait. And the longer you wait, the more awkward it becomes to follow up. But here's the principle that I want you to remember as we go through this episode. When somebody tells you they intend to make a gift, they've given you permission to follow up. What they haven't done. Is they have not given you permission to pressure them. These are two very, very different things. And we're going to get more into that today. Following up is simply continuing a conversation that the donor already participated in. And there are five things that I want you to think about when this happens. When you get a yes from a donor and then they don't follow up with a gift. The first thing is this make sure that you actually have a commitment from them. The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether the donor actually said they were going to give. Because sometimes our enthusiasm about a conversation can actually get ahead of reality. There's a pretty significant difference between somebody saying, I really love what you guys are doing. I'd like to help sometime. And somebody saying, I'm going to give you $2,500 towards that project next Thursday. One is interest. The other one is intention. And there are plenty of phrases that live someplace in the middle. And here's what I mean by that. Phrases like, hey, would you send me some more information? Or let me talk to my wife about that. Or I'll think about it and get back to you. I definitely want to be involved somehow. none of those phrases are a commitment. So before you begin wondering where the gift is, I do want you to go back and think about what was actually said and be honest about that. This is also why I encourage nonprofit leaders to get comfortable with clarity in fundraising conversations. Here's what I mean. If somebody says, I'd like to help, you can respond with something as simple as, that would be fantastic. What exactly were you thinking? You're not pressuring them. You're just clarifying what they mean, which is a very different thing because vague conversations create vague expectations. So that's number one. The number two thing I want you to consider when somebody is promised a gift, but then you've not seen it yet is assume positive intent. Let me say that again. Assume positive intent. Let's say the donor really did tell you they were going to give. The next thing I want you to do is assume positive intent. I know this is a lot easier said from the seat of a coach than it is done in the moment as an executive director that has about a thousand things that you'd like to spend those funds on. I've been in that place a whole lot of times. It's very easy in a moment like that to just assume somehow that the donor changed their mind, that they found another organization, That they think is cooler than yours. And so they're going to give the $5,000 there instead. All of those assumptions about what might have happened that we can allow our minds to think, we need to put all of those conclusions out of our head right away. I mean, think about your own life. How many times have you told someone, I'll send that email tonight, or I'll make that contact tonight and then completely forgotten? Or you opened a message while you were standing in line at the grocery store and thought, I'll take care of that as soon as I get home. And then three days later, you realize you never did. Your donor has a life as well. They have meetings they they need to deal with. They have kids, they have travel, they have bills, they have aging parents, they have a thousand email to get through. Maybe they intended to make the gift as soon as they got home from your meeting, and then life happened. So don't build a story in your head about what their silence means. And definitely don't let that story change how you treat the donor. This is one reason I think a good first follow-up can actually be an act of service. You're helping somebody complete something that they already told you that they wanted to do. All right, so the number three thing to think through when somebody is promised a gift, but then you've not seen it yet is follow up with them without making it weird. Again, follow up without making it weird. The burning question about following up is always, well, how long do I wait? And there isn't a perfect answer to this because it depends on the conversation. If somebody said, I'll make that gift on Friday and the following Wednesday it still hasn't arrived, I think you have every reason to follow up. But if they simply said, Hey, I am gonna support this without giving you a timeframe, You might want to give them just a little bit more space, but I wouldn't wait for months simply because you're afraid of having the conversation. And when you do follow up, just keep it really simple. You might say something as easy as this. Hey John, I was thinking about our conversation from a couple of weeks ago. In that conversation, you had mentioned wanting to make a gift towards the new program. And I know how easily things can get buried. I just wanted to check with you to see if there's anything that you need from me. That's it. That's all you have to say. Notice a few things that I'm not saying. I'm not calling John and going, hey, where's your gift, John? Or hey, John, you told me you were going to give. Or, hey, John, just wanted to let you know we're counting on that money. We're not saying anything like that because all of those statements immediately change the tone of the relationship. Instead, I'm just reminding them of the conversation and then giving them the opportunity to respond. There's another phrase, too, that I think you can add that I really believe is important. And that is say something like, if circumstances have changed since we last talked, that is completely fine too. I just didn't want to assume either way. That sentence gives the donor room to be honest with you. Maybe something did change. Maybe they just have some questions they need to ask. I had that happen with the donor one time. I said, Hey, listen, if something has changed, totally understand, just didn't want to assume anything. They got right back to me at that moment and they were like, actually, nothing has changed, but I did have a couple of other questions. You are on my list of people to call, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. So thanks for making the contact. And and they ended up making the gift after I was able to answer their questions. Maybe they just had an unexpected financial situation come up or they talked with their spouse. And they just decided this wasn't the right time, or they simply reconsidered. Whatever that reality is, I would rather have clarity than have a donor avoid me for the next six months because they're embarrassed that they never followed through. So that's the third thing. The fourth thing to consider when a donor promises a gift and then you never get the gift is know when to release the gift. Now, what happens if you follow up and you still get nothing? Maybe you send the email, there's no response. A couple of weeks later, you check in again, still you feel like they're ghosting you, still nothing. At some point, you need to release the expectation. I don't think there's a magic number where after exactly two emails and one phone call, you officially stop. But keep in mind this is a relationship. It's not a formula. So there is a point where continued follow-up stops feeling like stewardship of the relationship and starts feeling like you're now trying to collect something. And remember, this person doesn't owe you money simply because they once told you that they intended to give. So follow up appropriately, give them an easy opportunity to complete the gift, give them the opportunity to tell you that circumstances have changed, and then let it go. Most importantly, don't let the missing gift change the relationship at all. If this person was worth calling before they promised you $5,000, Then they are still 100% worth calling afterwards. So keep communicating, keep sharing the impact, keep treating them like somebody who matters to your mission because they do. And because donor relationships should be bigger than any individual transaction, whether the transaction actually occurs or not. Then the last thing to consider when a donor has made a gift and then they haven't delivered on the gift is never spend money. That you haven't received. Let me say that again. Never spend money that you haven't received. There's one other lesson here that I think is especially important for startup and small nonprofits. A promised gift is not the same thing as money in the bank. I'll say it again: a promised gift is not the same thing as money in the bank. If you're not careful, promised gifts can be the equivalent of what I call the nonprofit lottery. The reason the lottery does so well in every state. Is that the feeling a person gets when they purchase a lottery ticket and they start to spend the prize money in their mind is addictive. The feeling of what if is far more powerful than the logical thought that they have virtually no chance of winning the lottery. And the same applies to nonprofit fundraising. If somebody tells you I'm going to give you $10,000, psychologically, it's really easy to start spending the $10,000. You think now we can hire that person part-time, or now we can order that equipment that we need, or we can start to expand this program, or we can launch this new program. And what I'm coaching you to do in that moment is to slow down. Until that money actually arrives in your account, you need to be very careful about building expenses around it. You can certainly forecast anticipated gifts, you can plan for things. And if you have a longstanding donor with a consistent history of giving, you may have greater confidence in what they tell you. But especially in the early days of your nonprofit, hear me when I say this don't allow verbal commitments to create financial obligations that you can't cover if the gift never materializes. There are all kinds of reasons a promised gift might not arrive, and most of them don't have anything to do with you whatsoever. But good financial stewardship requires us to distinguish between money we expect and the money that we actually have. Here's what I want you to take away from all of this. The objective of following up with a donor is not to get the money at all costs. The objective is to get clear. Did they simply forget? Do they need the giving link and they lost it somehow? Do they have some questions about the giving process? Did their circumstances in fact change, or did they simply just decide, I'm not going to give after all? Any of those answers is better than spending three months just scratching your head wondering what happened. And I think there's a larger fundraising lesson underneath all of this. A lot of nonprofit leaders are so afraid of appearing pushy at all. That they end up becoming really unclear and muddy in their communication. They don't make a clear ask. They don't clarify what somebody means when they say that they want to help. And they don't follow up when somebody says they're going to give and then there's a delay. You can be clear without being aggressive or pushy. You can follow up without applying pressure at all on a donor. You can also give somebody permission to say no without being afraid. Of damaging or losing the relationship. In fact, if you handle these things well, these conversations can actually increase trust with your donor because your donor discovers that you're comfortable talking about money, but that their relationship with you isn't dependent upon that money. So the next time that somebody tells you, I'm gonna make a gift, and a few weeks goes by, and later that gift still hasn't arrived, don't panic. Also, Don't make assumptions and don't avoid the conversation. Simply follow up. Say, hey, you mentioned wanting to support this. I just wanted to see where you're at on that and see if you need anything from me. And listen, if circumstances somehow have changed, 100% fine, that is completely okay. Then stop talking and let them answer. What that is, is really confident fundraising. And what it also is, is excellent donor care. That's it for today. Thank you so much for listening to the Nonprofit Launch Plan podcast. And before you go, remember fundraising, no doubt one of the biggest challenges you're facing as you lead your nonprofit. And I'd love to help you build a plan for it. I'm offering a complimentary 90 minute coaching call where you and I will build your nonprofits fearless fundraising framework together. We'll work through the five pieces every fundraising conversation needs problem, solution, ask. urgency and action. And when we're finished, you'll have a clear framework that you can use in donor conversations and in emails on your website and the rest of your fundraising com communication. Because There are people who would gladly support the work you're doing. Sometimes they simply need to understand the opportunity and be confidently invited into it. So if you're ready to get clearer and more confident about raising the money your nonprofit needs, let's talk. Go to nonprofitlaunchplan.com, click book a call. We'll spend 90 minutes together building your fearless fundraising framework. That's nonprofitlaunchplan.com. Click book a call, and I'll see you there. That's it for this episode of the Nonprofit Launch Plan podcast for startup, small, and growing nonprofits. Thank you so much for watching and listening. If you felt like this podcast episode is helpful, would you consider sharing it with another nonprofit leader who might just be getting started and who might need the clarity? Until next time, thank you so much. Keep building wisely and keep making a difference.