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Green Flags In Relationships · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, when you have chosen to tune in, I just want to say thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we have talked on this podcast, I have talked many times on looking out for toxicity in relationships and uh narcissism and those types of warning signs.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: And today I wanted to talk about green flags in relationships.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: So when attempting to enrich our relationship or even possibly save our relationship, most people will focus on what needs to be improved or changed.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, and while it's critical to be aware of those red flags that we've spoken on many times here, especially in the relationship early on, it's also really important to be mindful of the quote unquote green flags or signs that would indicate that your relationship is actually healthy and going well.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because green flags can actually signal that your relationship has the potential to continue to be fulfilling and be a long-term uh part of your life.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, what are the green flags and how do you recognize them?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Building a strong relationship is honestly not just it's not just watching out for warning signs.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: This this sort of leads to this concept of the negativity bias, and I've spoken about this previously, where um as humans, if you think back about on evolution and just over time, um the negativity bias is based in this idea that our ancestors thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago had to constantly scan for dangers or things that could potentially lead to their demise.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so what what uh was acquired over time was this constant scanning for what could go wrong or what things could potentially hurt us.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes, even in relationships, we'll focus on red flags or what we perceive as red flags and decide that we need to leave the relationship because we're trying to protect ourselves.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I say perceived red flags because sometimes things might not be a might not be as they seem initially, and it's about getting um a little more curious about it and and um curious with with a sense of compassion and just um honoring yourself, because it is true that if you truly see a red flag and you truly see an issue with a relationship where you don't feel whole or complete, then yes, those those are definitely red flags that could lead you to down a toxic path.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes the negativity bias, this idea of wanting to scan for how I could get hurt and this part of us that that gets activated and wanting to protect us sometimes sometimes could could lead to us not seeing the good things or the the green flags.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: So some of the green flags in a relationship that you might want to keep an eye out for are when you don't require constant attention from the other person, or you both have separate interests and friendships.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: So you have your separate identity, but then you have the pieces that you that are interdependent that you that overlap.
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  SPEAKER_01: Another green flag is there's no loss of control during an argument, and that's from an emotional as well as physical perspective.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: You are friends, not just physically intimate partners.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because again, physical intimacy, while important, is we also need to have an emotional connection with that person if we're in if we're interested in a deep, long-lasting relationship.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it's about being friends with that person as well.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a green flag.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh feeling comfortable discussing your past, feeling comfortable discussing your goals and dreams.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: There should never be this idea that you have to hide pieces of yourself from the other person.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: In a another green flag is that there's an equal sharing of the chores or the requirements to maintain the household, and that you both are emotionally finished with your previous relationships.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, that is a green flag.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: That there is no, there's one of you is not holding on to something from a previous relationship.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, number one is really about always being yourself.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: When you're in a healthy relationship, you do feel deeply connected on all levels.
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  SPEAKER_01: All of your emotions are welcome in a conscious relationship, and honesty comes first.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: You feel that you can you feel confident in who you are, and you don't feel like you have to mask yourself in any regard in order to maybe um uh there, you know, there's no fear that this person that you're in a relationship is gonna abandon you or leave you if they somehow get get a glimpse of who you really are.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because in a healthy relationship, you're already your authentic self.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's no shortage of laughter.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is a really important one, and I talk about this in the concept of really healing that relationship with self and talking about bringing joy into your life, but in a healthy relationship, there should be a sense of humor, a sense of um happiness and just joy that's brought into the relationship.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, you both have to be honest, you both need to be able to be honest with your feelings.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because in a conscious relationship, there's not a fear that my partner doesn't love me or my partner's gonna leave me if I tell them how I truly feel.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, for instance, if your love language is words of affirmation, hearing your partner say, I love you, you're everything to me can really make you feel appreciated.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so when partners are in a healthy relationship, they're open to discussing their feelings, their needs, and their emotions with one another.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And they're not walking on eggshells with fear of how the other one is going to react and thinking that their partner might somehow abandon them if they were to know how they truly felt.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: You also both have lives outside of your relationship.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course you enjoy spending time together, absolutely, but it's also a healthy, it's a sign of a healthy relationship when you are able to spend time apart, having your separate interests, hobbies, and activities that you get to do on your own or with your other friends outside of the relationship.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that you can make plans for the future together.
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  SPEAKER_01: Sharing common goals and expectations with your partner is another um green flag that would show or demonstrate that you're on a healthy path.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's critical to consider also just the practice of gratitude and being grateful for the positive aspects of your relationship.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: So taking time to acknowledge your partner, taking time to celebrate the connection that you have between the two of you, um appreciating and being grateful for the opportunity to share feelings and then going ahead and sharing them with each other, and really prioritizing being able to spend that time with one another.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: So again, this topic today is really about recognizing that there is, you know, yes, it's important to look for red flags in a relationship.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: I've talked about that often.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that a lot of times we um as humans are afraid to admit if we are in a toxic relationship because there's a fear that people will perceive us as some type of failure or that we perceive ourselves as a failure.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes we do ignore red flags, and that's why I want to just emphasize if there are red flags, it's really important to slow down and take note of them and to investigate further.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: However, in relationships that are also green flags, there are also very there are many healthy relationships out there, and it's just important to give yourself space to recognize when you are embarking on a healthy relationship and not let not let the negativity bias uh keep you keep you down and let those parts that might be uh old parts of yourself that are worried about um the fear of being hurt take over.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so just being open to to being aware of those green flags could be helpful as well.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever feel that you would like to talk about something in terms of supporting you on moving forward, whether it be in your personal life and relationships or professionally, and think that coaching might be a fit for you, definitely feel free to book a time to speak with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.