Latest / Mount Eaton Church / Biblical Manhood & Womanhood - 1 Timothy 5:1-14 - Foundations of Biblical Leadership - How To Care & Honor Widows

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Biblical Manhood & Womanhood - 1 Timothy 5:1-14 - Foundations of Biblical Leadership - How To Care & Honor Widows · Mount Eaton Church

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  Very important that when we are given the word
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  that we do it. It's one thing to be given it
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  and not do it. That's rebellion. But to be given
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  the word, you must do the word. It's a very important
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  thing. One, it commands us to do it, right? Go
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  and make disciples of all nations, baptizing
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  them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy
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  Spirit. A lot of guys stop at that because they
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  don't like the second part. Teaching them to
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  obey all that I've commanded you. Like a real
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  disciple is one who is obedient. That being said,
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  when we get into Timothy chapter 5, this is a
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  very important command by which God gives to
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  the church that we must do as a church, especially
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  as elders. And so before we do that, I'm going
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  to pray, and then we're going to dig in. Are
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  you guys ready? Father, I want to thank you so
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  much for your goodness and faithfulness. Thank
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  you, Lord, for your word. You are faithful and
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  good. You love the widow. You protect her. And
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  you care for her and you support her and give
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  her all her needs. And you have commanded the
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  church to do the same. We are your body. And
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  the religion that you consider pure and faultless
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  is to care for the orphans and widows in their
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  distress. And to keep oneself from being polluted
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  by the world. To keep ourselves holy. Lord, we
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  praise you and thank you. To you be honor and
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  glory. May the full counsel of your word be spoken.
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  Lord, help me and help us to rightly divide it
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  to see your heart and care for those who have
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  difficulty doing it on their own and have not
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  meant to do it on their own. Lord, we praise
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  you and thank you in Jesus' name. Amen. So I'm
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  going to start off first and foremost by reading
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  something in John chapter 19. Jesus does this
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  same thing. It's interesting when you read it.
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  Chapter 19, verse 28. And this, Jesus knowing,
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  oh, sorry, oh, I did that same thing on first
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  service. It's actually verse 24c. So go there.
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  Verse 24, the last part. So the soldiers did
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  these things by standing by the cross of Jesus,
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  where his mother, his mother's sister, Mary,
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  the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. And when
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  Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he
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  loved standing nearby, he said to his mother,
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  Woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple,
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  Behold your mother. And from that hour the disciple
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  took her to his own home. Now the question I
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  had asked earlier was, Why, if Jesus has brothers,
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  James and Jude, would Jesus not give the responsibility
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  to his brothers? I mean, after all, that would
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  be what you would consider the Jewish responsibility,
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  is to care for the mother when the mother has
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  no one to care for her. Jesus, being the older
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  brother, is dying. His father has died already.
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  But Jesus doesn't give his responsibility of
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  the mother to James and Jude. We know it's James
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  and Jude. Because they were the ones that wrote
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  James and Jude. Why would he give it to John?
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  And here's why. John was a believer and James
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  and Jude were not. I want you to hear that. The
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  responsibility of the widow is on you, the church.
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  It's on no one else. God has given us that responsibility.
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  That being said, turn to 1 Timothy. So I've already
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  given you the command in James 1 .27. Let's read
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  what God says concerning the widow. Now, Paul
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  gives Timothy some very important things. He
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  starts off in verse 13 of chapter 4, and I'll
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  read that. Verse 13 of chapter 4. Until I come,
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  devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture,
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  to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the
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  gift you have, which has been given you by prophecy
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  when the council of elders laid their hands on
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  you. Practice these things, immerse yourself
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  in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep
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  a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.
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  Persist in this, for by doing so you will save
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  both yourself and your hearers. Do not rebuke
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  an older man, but encourage him as you would
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  a father. Younger men as a brother, older women
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  as mothers, and younger women as sisters. in
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  all purity. So let's start off with verse 1 and
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  2. Godly leaders are careful to shepherd not
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  only in action, but especially with words. Godly
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  men are leaders and must be careful to shepherd
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  not only in action, but especially in words,
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  and especially those who have been called and
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  ordained as elders. In Leviticus 19 .32, it says
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  it this way. You shall stand up before the gray
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  head and honor the face of an old man, and you
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  shall fear your God. I am the Lord, Leviticus
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  19 .32. You shall stand up. When an older man
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  walks in, you show him honor. You stand up face
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  to face. You give respect to him. I think that's
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  missing today, especially in young people. You
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  hear that, little ones, younger ones, teenagers,
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  young adults? Show the respect. These men have
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  lived life. Give honor. Respect them. Face to
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  face, man to man. That's the idea here. And what
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  he says here concerning Timothy, he says, Timothy,
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  understand he's 19, 20 years old, shepherding
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  a church. And Paul says, Timothy, do not rebuke.
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  Do not chastise. With your words. Though you
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  are a godly man, though you have biblical authority,
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  though you are the shepherd, the under -shepherd
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  of this church, you, Timothy, are not to chastise
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  older men, but encourage him as you would a father.
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  How many of you guys got nasty with your dad?
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  Same thing. I asked everybody else that, and
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  nobody would admit it. Many. It's important you
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  honor these men as you would your father. Younger
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  men as brothers. I mean, brotherhood is important.
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  I know that when you grow up with many brothers
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  and you want to hold on to those relationships
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  and keep them strong. Older women as mothers.
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  It's interesting. I was sharing this earlier.
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  You know, it's really upsetting as a man, as
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  a father. You raise your kids. You teach them
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  football. They get famous. They stand in the
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  camera. And you ask my boy, and all of a sudden
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  he goes, thank you very much. Hi, Mom. What happened
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  to all the work? That's him honoring his mother.
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  She carried him for nine months. You didn't.
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  She dealt with all his sicknesses and his hurts
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  and his scraped knees and his crying and his
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  frustration because he wasn't doing well in school.
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  And all of the times he never listened because
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  we like to climb trees and pick up snakes. And
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  younger women as sisters. Being careful to protect.
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  But do it in all purity, it says. Do it in a
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  sinlessness life. A life that's not characterized
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  as sinful. That is how you should be handling
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  your relationships with older men and younger
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  men and older women and younger women. How we
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  communicate. I will tell you, it's something
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  that I work hard at. My wife will tell you sometimes
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  I screw up. But it is important to me to honor
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  her and to love her and my kids. Godly leaders
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  manage the care of widows and purpose to exhort
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  them to cling to Christ. Fathers of the fatherless,
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  protector of widows is God in his holy habitation,
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  Psalm 68, 5. Do you get that? That where God
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  is, God is the father to the fatherless, and
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  he protects the widow. What's interesting about
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  the word widow, as I said earlier, is men are
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  not widows. Men can't be widows. I know in today's
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  society. When a wife dies, the man goes, I'm
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  a widow. No, you're not. Because a widow means
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  barren, means without care and support, a city
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  with no inhabitants. Men can, to the very last
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  breath of their life, typically take care of
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  themselves. And will suffer through, and some
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  even die doing their work. But not so when it
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  comes to women. Why? Well, I'm sure the feminist
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  movement would say, we can do. Everything a man
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  can do. No, that's not true either. That's a
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  lie. Women can't do everything a man can do.
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  And I will tell you this, men cannot do what
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  women do. When we come home from work, the wife
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  has cleaned the house, cooked dinner for you,
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  managed the kids, educated the children, disciplined
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  the children, went out and played with the children,
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  taught the children the word of God. And you
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  come home to a dinner. And when she's done all
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  this work, you aren't to be sitting watching
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  her work. You need to take over. See, you couldn't
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  do that for 14 straight hours. Women do. And
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  they do it because it's God's given gift to them
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  to be a mother. We read that in chapter 2. So
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  let's go on. Chapter 5, verse 3 through 16. Honor,
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  temeo, to revere or venerate. Honor widows. Kera
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  is the word here. It means barren, without care
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  and support. A city with no inhabitants. Who
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  are truly widows. What does it mean to be truly
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  a widow? A widow who is truly a widow. is one
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  who cannot take care of herself. She's older.
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  Her husband is gone. Her kids are gone. She is
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  left alone. And if she is not taken care of,
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  supported, shepherded, provided for, she will
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  die. Because the man would go out and get all
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  the food and work and bring the money home and
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  then give it to her and she would make it. That's
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  the way it was back then. Now, you go to Chick
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  -fil -A. But in reality, Older women are truly
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  widows. But, it says in verse 4, but if a widow
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  has children or grandchildren, let them first
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  learn to show godliness to their own household.
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  Isn't that interesting? That there's two things
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  here, I think, that we need to be thoughtful
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  and considerate of. First, is that she must...
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  continue to show godliness to her own household,
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  and the children and grandchildren should learn
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  to show godliness to the widow. It means this
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  term, show godliness to their own household,
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  is to act piously, reverently with their family.
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  How many have you seen where their widows and
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  their left And they're wondering, why am I alone?
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  How come nobody loves me? Why is no one caring
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  about me after I've given everything I can to
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  them? What do you think happens? They get bitter,
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  angry. That can't be in the church. And it will
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  not be in this church. So let's keep reading.
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  They must show godliness, act piously, revantly
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  with their family, and to make some return to
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  their parents. You're like, what? So let's say,
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  A woman, her husband dies, and she has a mom
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  and dad. Guess where she should go? She should
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  go back home to her mom and dad because she has
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  no one else now to care for her, to help protect
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  her, to help support her, to give her guidance
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  when she needs it. You're not meant to live life
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  alone. If that was true, then why would God create
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  a helper fit for Adam? We're not meant to be
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  alone. And so this is a very important thing.
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  Make sure or make some return to their parents.
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  Notice it doesn't say all. It says some. Those
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  who cannot take care of themselves. Those who
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  need support. Those who need protection. Especially
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  in those days. For this is pleasing in the sight
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  of God. God is pleased with this. What would
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  the feminine movement say today? You can do it
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  on your own, girl. You're going to be just fine.
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  Go get a job. Okay. It's more than that. Next,
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  it says in verse 5, she who is truly a widow,
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  left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues
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  in supplications. She has no one else. She is
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  left truly alone. There is nobody there for her.
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  She has no family. She can't go home to nobody.
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  She is by herself. And look at what it says.
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  She turns to God as her hope. For widows, this
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  is what I want to give you. Turn to God as your
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  hope. He will take care of you. I promise you
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  that. And when you turn to him, you seek him,
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  you ask him, and you entreat. Lord, you said
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  you would take care of me. And then it says,
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  and prayers, addressing God. God, you are my
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  provider. You are. king. You have a cattle on
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  a thousand hills. You own everything. You know
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  I cannot do this on my own. I need you. That's
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  the idea here. And that's the type of woman this
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  particular widow is. Then he says, but, and she
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  does this night and day, mind you. It's not just
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  when she needs something. She's throwing up supplications
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  and prayers all day long. But, The woman or the
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  widow who is self -indulgent. Spataleo is the
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  word here. It's one who gives oneself to pleasure.
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  She is dead even while she lives. So what happens
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  sometimes with women who lose their husbands
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  if they're young, they give themselves over to
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  pleasures. They self -indulge themselves with
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  things and men. She doesn't realize that the
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  very life giver she has walked away from, the
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  one who would fulfill her pleasures, her needs,
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  her cares, she's now turned to the things that
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  are fleeting and dying, and she lives as if she's
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  dead. That's what it means here. Zeo nesko is
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  the word here, or thnesko, to live without life.
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  You're not going to live for God, you're going
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  to live a... lifeless life. And look what he
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  says here to Timothy. He says, command these
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  things as well, so that they may be without reproach.
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  So that no one can bring an accusation against
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  any of these widows. So that society doesn't
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  say, you're a burden on us. The church takes
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  on that burden. But if anyone does not provide
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  for his relatives, and especially for the members
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  of his own household, He has denied the faith
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  and is worse than an unbeliever. If you know
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  there's a widow in your family, your mother -in
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  -law, your mother, and you don't care for her,
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  you're worse than an unbeliever. That's what
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  it says here. For those who are caring for them,
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  praise God, godly men. Now, for those mothers
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  who refuse, like, no, I've done this all my life.
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  There's nothing you can do. And here it is. You
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  guys ready? So there is a way out for some of
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  you. You can't make your mama do it because that's
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  mama. And this is what it says. Let a widow be
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  enrolled. This word enrolled means choose to
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  be listed for care. Let a widow choose to be
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  listed for care if she's not less than 60 years
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  old or 60 years of age. So if she is 60 years
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  or older, you must allow her, if she chooses,
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  to come for care, care, protection. Why? Because
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  she was a wife of one husband. She has no one
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  else. She also is a woman of a good reputation.
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  She's having a reputation for good works. If
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  she has brought up children, has shown hospitality.
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  Here's the list of good works. Reputation of
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  good works. Brought up children. You hear that,
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  ladies? Keep raising your kids. It's good work.
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  What else does it say? Has shown hospitality.
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  You've been a good hostess. Thank you for caring
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  and sharing. Thank you for ladies' fellowship.
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  These ladies do good work. Look what else it
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  says. Has washed the feet of the saints. Spiritually
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  speaking, they wash our feet all the time. Has
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  cared for the afflicted and has devoted herself
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  to good work. That woman should be cared for.
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  Provided for, protected. There should never be
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  a need. If you can't pay the mortgage, we'll
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  pay it. If you can't feed yourself, we'll feed
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  you. All you have to do is go to caring and counseling
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  and they will take care of you. That's why we
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  have it. Whatever your need is. But look what
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  it says about the next woman. I promise. I'm
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  going to end at 14 because I can't get it all
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  in. Okay? Look what it says here. It's in the
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  next woman. But refuse to enroll younger widows.
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  Ouch. Why? Why can younger widows not be on the
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  list? Here's why. For when their passions, when
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  they want to act on impulse of sexual desire
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  is what this means. It's what it means. Draw
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  them away from Christ. This passion they have,
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  because they're young, they need to live out
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  this impulse to be desired. It draws them away
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  from Christ. Christ is no longer the source.
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  Younger women should not be on the list because
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  what happens is men are the ones that usually
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  come in and take care of the need. You ever thought
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  about that? It's one of the reasons why we drive
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  them to caring and counseling and caring and
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  sharing and ladies' fellowship. We drive them
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  to deaconesses. Very important. We want them
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  to be cared for, but we also want to empower
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  them to live holy. That's the idea here. That's
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  exactly what Paul means here to Timothy. And
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  then he says this. Why do they do this? Why do
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  they desire or why do their passions rule them?
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  Because they want to be married. They don't want
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  to be alone. I can tell you, it's one of the
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  things I've noticed about some of the young widows
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  that I've done ministry to. They don't want to
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  be alone. And then look what it says here. And
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  as a result, and so, verse 12, and so incur condemnation,
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  judgment of God, for having abandoned their former
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  faith. What does that mean? They have abandoned
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  what has been previously reliable, persistently
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  faithful, not pulled away. See, when they are
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  safe, When a woman is secure, when she knows
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  she's provided for, when all her needs are in
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  through the man by which God provides through
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  that man, and he is gone, she wonders what's
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  going to happen with me now. This is what it
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  says next. It says, besides that, they learn
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  to be idlers. They learn to be inactive or at
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  leisure. I will tell you, I've seen this happen.
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  They just give up. I don't want to do anything.
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  They go about. From house to house, it says here.
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  And not only idlers. This idea is they go about
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  the home alone and inactive. Not taking care
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  of her responsibilities. You remember what I
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  said in chapter 2? That she will be saved through
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  childbearing. It's not that she is born again
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  through childbearing. It means that she finds
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  her wholeness as a woman. In being busy doing
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  what women are created to do. Support and help.
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  It's the beauty of... of biblical feminism. It's
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  not the idea that I can run a business or I can
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  be the CEO of a large company, that I can make
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  thousands and thousands of dollars. Guess what
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  you miss out on? You miss out on the rearing
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  of your children and the joy of sharing life
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  with somebody because your life becomes your
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  business. And then it says this, she's not taking
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  care of her responsibilities, which means that,
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  but also gossips. She becomes a babbler. talking
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  and doing silly things. It's true. And busybodies
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  saying what they should not. This word busybodies
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  is neglecting the important things and busy not
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  minding their own business. They get into other
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  people's stuff because they have nothing else
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  to do. Remember, they're just being inactive
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  at home. They're not taking care of their responsibilities.
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  What else do I got to do? Hey, girl, did you
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  hear about this guy? Look, I know this girl.
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  She's with this guy like down the street. It's
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  exactly what happens. She needs to live for Christ,
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  desire him, seek him out in all things. She needs
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  to see the example of the widow who goes before
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  God, who is her hope, literally begging the Lord
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  to take care of her and giving him praise for
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  doing so. Verse 14, and I will end with this.
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  So I would have younger widows marry. That makes
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  sense. Here's what I mean. How many of you guys
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  married because you loved your spouse? I just,
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  I love them. If I didn't love you, I'd have married
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  you. Don't believe that. I'm going to wreck you
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  right now. I'm so sorry. You don't marry because
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  you're in love. You ever notice that the marriages
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  that quote unquote start off with love always
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  end in hate. But marriages that start off in
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  a commitment, understanding two very important
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  principles. Okay, you ready? You get married.
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  Because that person loves God more than they
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  love anyone else. The only person that matters
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  is Jesus. So I don't need you to fill my life.
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  I need you to partner with me. Fit my life. He
• 23:23
  created a helper fit for him. The second is she
• 23:27
  fits my life, right? She is like hand in glove.
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  She helps me. She is willing to sacrifice and
• 23:34
  do everything that she needs to do to help me.
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  become all I can be in Jesus, and I do the same.
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  I say this a lot, and I know it drives my wife
• 23:43
  crazy, but it's the truth. When I look at my
• 23:45
  wife, 25, 26 years, be 26 years this June, 26
• 23:49
  years, and I said, honey, I love you. When I
• 23:52
  look at my life now, my love for her now, it's
• 23:55
  not even close. I liked her a lot. I liked her.
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  Attraction isn't love. It's not a love. Attraction
• 24:03
  is a lust. It's a desire. It's what God has given
• 24:07
  us that we would desire one another. But love
• 24:10
  demands not only that we live it, it demands
• 24:14
  that it's a person. Love is Jesus. My love for
• 24:20
  her is way different today than it was when I
• 24:24
  first met her. So why should younger widows marry?
• 24:27
  Because they learn to love. You learn love in
• 24:32
  marriage. You have no idea, young people, what
• 24:34
  love is. You have no clue. When you are at the
• 24:39
  bedside after three miscarriages, you learn what
• 24:43
  love is. That's love. When you stick through
• 24:48
  thick and thin watching your mom pass away from
• 24:51
  cancer, that's what love is. Feelings come and
• 24:54
  go. Love is eternal. True love. It requires sacrifice.
• 24:59
  So when I say I love her, I love her even when
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  at times I don't like her. And vice versa. I
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  mean, how many of you ladies know that your husband
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  gets on your nerves? Do you honestly really like
• 25:22
  him at that moment? Okay. Donna's like, oh, pastor,
• 25:28
  you should love her anyway. I do. I stay with
• 25:31
  her. I'm willing to die with her. I want to be
• 25:38
  the notebook guy holding hands as we both die
• 25:41
  in bed together. So let me end it with this.
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  So I would have younger women marry bare children.
• 25:51
  Why? She finds her. She fulfills her purpose
• 25:55
  and her wholeness in being a mother. There is
• 25:58
  no greater vocation for a woman than to be a
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  mom. And understanding that, even with PRC here
• 26:08
  today, we should do everything we can to fight
• 26:11
  for life. Because there is no greater calling
• 26:14
  on any woman than that one calling, to be a mom.
• 26:18
  Lastly, she must manage their households. Learn
• 26:21
  to be busy at home. Learn, develop, grow. There
• 26:26
  is no greater CEO, administrator, nurse, cook,
• 26:32
  housekeeper than the woman. My wife can outwork
• 26:37
  anybody. Lastly, and this is the end of this
• 26:43
  verse, and give an adversary no occasion for
• 26:48
  slander. See, when a young woman goes back into
• 26:51
  her God -given role and responsibility, she eliminates
• 26:55
  false accusations about her. As a matter of fact,
• 26:59
  do you remember that woman that the Pharisees
• 27:02
  brought before Jesus, caught her in adultery?
• 27:06
  What did he say? We caught this woman in adultery.
• 27:10
  How would you know? Were you watching through
• 27:11
  the window, you little dirty dog? You know what
• 27:18
  else? There's another story. The woman at the
• 27:20
  well, where's your husband? Why are you over
• 27:23
  here getting water? How come your husband's not
• 27:25
  doing the work? It's his job. Why are you asking
• 27:27
  me for water? I'm a woman. Go get your husband.
• 27:30
  I don't have a husband. You're right. You have
• 27:32
  five. This is an example. Isn't that interesting?
• 27:35
  When a woman's not busy living out her God -given
• 27:37
  purpose and responsibility, her calling, her
• 27:40
  ordained vocation, she gets busy doing other
• 27:44
  things. Enjoy being a woman, especially being
• 27:47
  a beautiful woman of God. Father, I want to thank
• 27:50
  you so much for your faithfulness and goodness.
• 27:52
  To you be honor and glory. We give you praise.
• 27:55
  You are God. And we thank you for the women in
• 27:59
  our lives. Help us as a church to be faithful
• 28:01
  with the widow. And to encourage the young widow
• 28:04
  to continue to live out her role as a woman.
• 28:09
  To take back biblical feminism. That you would
• 28:13
  be high and lifted up and glorified in every
• 28:15
  way. We praise you and thank you in Jesus' name.