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What happens when you confront a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist.
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  Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform to raise awareness for NPD, get
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  more people into therapy and also validate the victim,
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  survivors and thrivers. Thrivers of said disorder said.
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  Toxic people said toxic traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  about what happens when if you confront A narcissist.
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  Confronting a narcissist or a toxic person, Very toxic person.
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  Before we hop into today's episode, y'all make sure you if
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  you haven't already, subscribed to the to my newsletter slash
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  e-mail list so you don't miss out on anything.
• 0:46
  The link is in the description of every video and podcast that
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  I do. Check.
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  Click below. But yeah, y'all confronting A
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  narcissist or a toxic person is, you know, what happens, What
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  could happen? What do you what to look out for
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  things of the nature. So first of all, this is from
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  the perspective of a diagnosed narcissist.
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  So ask yourself this question right here first.
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  This is the question you have to ask yourself before anything.
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  How are you going to do it? If you like, for it's to me.
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  To me. To me, it really depends on if
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  you even feel like you really need to do it.
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  Because if you don't feel like you need to confront them, just
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  take whatever information that you have on them and act on it.
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  You know what I'm saying? Whatever information that you
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  have on this person, just act on it.
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  Just act on it. Then this me being realistic,
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  that's just whatever information you have, just go ahead and act
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  on it. Because if you don't act on it
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  like like you don't need to confront them always.
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  You can just act on it. If you catch them cheating, if
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  you catch them lying, you catch them stealing money, whatever.
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  If you can act on it before you confront them, do that.
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  Because a lot of times y'all these, that type of person that
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  you're dealing with, that narcissistic, toxic person can
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  get very dangerous if you confront them.
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  Because what's going through my mind as a narcissist if you
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  first of all, if you give me a signal, yeah, I'm very
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  intuitive. So if you give me a signal, just
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  say, hey, hey, we need to talk later.
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  I'm already my mind is already wondering like what the hell do
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  you know. My mind is already going to that
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  point. Like what do you know right now
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  what what is going on? I'm already thinking about I'm
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  already thinking about what I have done.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm already thinking about what
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  have I done for you to say this What what is what could it
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  possibly what possibly could it be that we need to talk about?
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  You know? I mean, so I'm already thinking
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  about what I have already done. So if you give me a warning,
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  like we need to talk later or can you meet me here?
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  Whatever it is, I'm already in my mind.
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  So what happened to you? Confronted Narcis?
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  If you give them a heads up, they're going to the and you
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  like. If you give them a heads up,
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  they have time to prepare. You see what I'm saying?
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  They have time to prepare for when you come, when you confront
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  them or whatever information that you have they have time to
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  prep for. So if you if they have, if they
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  don't think that you would find out or they don't think that you
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  would know, they might not be prepared to lie or to shift or
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  to blame you or whatever. But if you give them a heads up,
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  like if you give me a heads up and say, hey, we need to talk
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  later, hey be here. And it's not like my mind is
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  already wondering like, OK, what do you know?
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  And I'm thinking about all this stuff that you could hold
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  against me. And I'm focusing on making
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  excuses for every one of them. Now, see, now I have a, now I
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  have a. It's like it's it's like giving
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  me a study guide for a test. It's like telling.
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  It's like letting me know that there's like most of everybody's
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  been to school, most of everybody.
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  It's like letting me know that there's a pop quiz like you in
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  school, like teachers like pop quiz everybody.
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  You just let me know that there's a pop quiz coming up.
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  That's what you just did. If you let because you let me
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  know that there's something going on and now I know there's
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  a pop quiz coming. You gave me a heads up that the
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  pop quiz is coming and it's and what classes then?
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  Like, I only have a certain amount of classes, so I'm
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  already thinking about the bad stuff that I've done, right?
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  I'm already there. So my mind is wondering all the
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  stuff that I've done. So now I have excuses coming up.
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  Now I have. Now I have time to think.
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  You may some narcissism have already thought about lies and
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  excuses. Some of them, some of them think
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  that they're smarter than you and don't think that you ever
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  find out what they've done. But a lot of them, y'all are
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  now. You gave them prep time.
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  Now I have prep time. I'm ready now.
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  Hey, come on. Get it.
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  Bring, bring it, bring it on. You may.
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  It's get to the point where you you they want you.
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  They want you to bring it on. Give me the heat.
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  Give all the people. People say.
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  Give me the smoke. You ain't bring me to smoke or
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  whatever it is that happens so much out.
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  That's why I tell people all the time, like in these spaces, in
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  this mindset, that's what's going to happen.
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  You don't need to warn them that you're going to, that you need
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  to talk. If y'all live together, of
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  course you might need to. If y'all live together, you
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  definitely don't need to do it. But if y'all, if you have to get
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  them to meet you somewhere, you might not want to warn them that
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  you have a conference, that you need to tell them something like
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  and don't give them, don't give them things like that.
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  That's what I just said. I just just be prepared because
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  a lot of times narcissistic, toxic people will do that type
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  of stuff. You mean they just will.
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  That's what. That's how the mind goes.
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  That's literally how it goes. So you have to be prepared to
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  move to make, to make, to make moves to shift when you're
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  dealing with narcissistic people.
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  That's that's just how it goes though.
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  Y'all. And I tell it to people all the
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  time. Like, you got to be prepared to
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  pivot. So if you do confront that
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  narcissistic person, y'all that's when you got to get
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  ready. That's when you got to get ready
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  and prepare it. Because that narcissistic, toxic
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  person is going to they're going to do something to you.
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  Like if you confront A narcissist, what happens when
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  you confront them If they're not ready or if they are ready, the
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  only thing that they can do to you is probably get angry at
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  you. Like I said, the only thing they
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  can do to you. Very rarely will they admit
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  fault or admit guilt or whatever you want to say.
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  But most times, y'all, they're going to blame you for it.
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  Somehow, some way, shape or form is going to be your father if
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  you confront me, whatever you confront me about, they, I'm
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  sorry. They can get super angry when
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  you confront them. They can get super angry.
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  They become super aggressive towards you.
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  They can put their hands on you. And depending on the severity of
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  what you confront them with, they might try to end your life.
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  I don't want to get, I don't want to get super dark with it.
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  But yeah, some of them might try to end your life when you
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  confront them, when you confront them, and like, when you
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  confront A narcissist, you would pretty much bring in shame.
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  It's like you're not walking in the door by yourself.
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  You got shame with you, and shame is so big.
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  Shame has to duck. Shame has to get on his belly
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  and crawl into the house. Shame has to.
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  Shame is so big and tall and strong.
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  He has to turn side or turn on, turn on its side or lay on his
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  belly and slide into the house. He can't stand up.
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  It's so big and it's this monstrous damn being behind
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  saying them, behind you. So narcissistic people are
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  afraid of shame and shame is going to beat them down.
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  They don't want to feel that shame because shame is painful.
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  So you confront them. Shame is doing the talking for
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  you. You see what I'm saying?
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  Shame is already in that narcissist ear saying, hey, you
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  never be good enough. Told you you were stupid.
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  Told you were going to get caught.
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  Now your life is over. Now you're going to get exposed.
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  Now this is going to happen. Like I'm telling you, when you
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  confront them, you have to be careful if you have to.
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  If you feel like you need to confront them, you know what I
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  mean? Be careful.
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  I say you always use discretion. But if you feel like you need to
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  confront them, just be prepared for the the blowback very rarely
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  or they going to be just like you know, just OK, you're right,
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  I'm so sorry, I'll change it. Very rarely does it happen
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  sometimes, but very rarely does it happen.
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  A lot of times they going to yell and scream at you.
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  A lot of times they going to blame you for however, however
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  you found out. However, wherever you got the
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  information from, they're going to blame you for taking using
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  that method to get the information they're going to.
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  You may somehow, like I said earlier, they might yell and
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  scream and hit you, whatever they might put it onto you.
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  Blame your friends and family, blame their friends and family,
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  try to get you to feel sorry for it.
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  They might try to get you. They might try to guilt trip
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  you. Y'all.
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  They might try to make you feel guilty about holding them
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  accountable. They might start crying and
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  begging and pleading, faking like they need to go to the
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  hospital. Something along those lines,
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  y'all. They might very well do that.
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  That's how it goes though. Y'all, in a lot of these times,
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  in a lot of these situations, that's literally how it goes.
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  That's why I just tell people like, you have to prepare for
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  that. Because narcissistic, toxic
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  people are going, y'all, they're going to shake it up.
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  They're going to do toxic things to you.
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  Like another thing, like not all narcissists yelling at scream.
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  I know everybody. Some people are going like,
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  well, leave. My narcissistic partner doesn't
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  yell at me. My, my parent.
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  It doesn't have to be a partner. It could be a parent, it could
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  be a brother or sister, it could be a sibling, it could be a
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  friend. Whoever you're confronting.
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  Y'all, everybody doesn't yell at you.
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  Every narcissistic person doesn't yell.
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  Some of them might give you the silent treatment.
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  Some of them might just be like, look you directly to your face
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  and act like you pretend you don't exist.
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  They don't. They won't talk to you.
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  They'll Stonewall, Stonewall you and act like you don't exist.
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  They absolutely will, you know. They'll act like you don't
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  exist. They'll leave you.
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  They'll give you the silent treatment.
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  They'll threaten to leave you. You know what I mean?
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  They'll walk away from you and they'll talk to you.
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  They'll pretend like nothing happened.
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  They'll just ignore you. That happens all the time.
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  Y'all It really, really does. You know what I mean?
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  It really does. And that's the mind.
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  That's how the mind of a narcissistic person works, that
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  some of them will shut down. Not everybody attacks.
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  Some people shut down. You might shut down, but it
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  doesn't make you a narcissistic. You shut down.
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  Y'all when you confront it. But yeah, narcissists will very
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  rarely tell you the truth. They just want things to go back
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  to normal. They want things to go back to
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  normal. They want things in normal.
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  It's typically abusive. You see how it works?
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  Normal is typically abusive. Normal is typically doing things
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  behind your back that you don't find out.
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  That's what normal looks like to a lot.
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  To most narcissists, y'all Normal is not just like everyday
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  in and out. Y'all doing this type of stuff.
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  Normal is abusive. Normal is toxic.
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  But you might not know how toxic it is and how abusive it is.
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  Abusive it is. But now you do you see what I'm
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  saying? So if you confront A narcissist,
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  just be prepared because not all narcissists are going to react
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  the same. Some of them will absolutely
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  come after you, you know, I'm not trying to scare you.
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  It just some of them. If you confront them they will
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  got an e-mail come through. If you confront them they will
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  like said just react negatively. They will threaten to expose
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  you. They might start a smear
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  campaign on you. The mind of a narcissist.
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  Like I say, if they don't have any prep, the more prep time you
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  give them the probably the the Wilder.
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  The excuses are going to be the Wilder, The lies are going to be
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  the Wilder, the whatever they're going to be saying to you is
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  going to be pretty damn wild. Y'all.
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  So that's what I'm just telling you.
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  Like you don't always need to. Like, I know a lot of people
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  confront them. Ask yourself, why are you
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  confronting them? Do you want a confession?
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  Because if you if as a narcissist myself, if you
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  confront me, I don't like, I don't my mind, I'm afraid that
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  you're going to leave me. But I I don't think you're going
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  to leave me. You know what I'm saying?
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  If you confront me with this information you could have just
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  left, I'm like, damn, they could have just left.
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  But they're talking to me. So I have a chance here.
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  I just have to play my. I just had to play my cards
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  correctly. So if you confront me, I don't
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  think you're going to leave me. If you confront me, I think, I
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  think I have a shot of of of fighting chance.
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  If I don't admit to it, it doesn't even matter.
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  Yo, it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter.
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  Listen to me. It doesn't matter what you
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  think. It doesn't matter.
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  Y'all It doesn't matter what I've done.
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  It doesn't matter As long as I don't need to confess.
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  Whatever. It doesn't matter what proof you
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  have. I don't confess.
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  If I don't confess, it's like I didn't do it.
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  Especially if you don't leave. If you confront me and you don't
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  leave, or if you leave and you come back, you lose.
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  You confront me and you come back.
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  That's like you forgiving me. So what happens when you
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  confront A Narciss? A plethora of things can happen.
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  You just need to be ready to pivot.
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  Just act on it, y'all. Just act on it.
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  Act on the information that you have at hand.
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  And that way it allows you to keep working, that allows you to
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  keep moving forward. That way it allows you to be
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  safe and to be secure and things of that nature.
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  You know what I mean? Just be prepared for y'all.
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  Be prepared to shift. Be prepared to move forward.
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  Be prepared for a lot of different things.
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  This is, ask yourself, why am I confronting this person?
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  Do I need to confront them? Do I need to confront them?
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  Because a lot of a lot of people, a lot of y'all.
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  I can say y'all because it's not a bad thing.
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  A lot of y'all want to confront them.
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  Because you want to know that you matter, right?
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  You want to know that you matter.
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  You want to know that you meant something.
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  You want to know. So it's just like take take the
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  necessary steps in the right direction to power up to be
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  safe, you know, power up, be safe.
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  Take care of yourself y'all made it this for if you made it this
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  for y'all you got to like and subscribe you you have to you
• 12:25
  have to and it also y'all have a big announcement coming as a
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  live show coming up my battery about to die I just saw my
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  camera thing about to die But anyways y'all like and subscribe
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  Mental illnesses. Out peace, What is going on
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  beautiful people. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. Watching it all way through.
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  well to help you rebuild that self love Lee Hammock.
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