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Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction · Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Suzanne and you're listening to Sex Advice for Seniors.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And today I am with a sexual health coach.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: who lives in a town in Massachusetts that nobody knows, so we don't even have to mention what it is.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a mysterious town somewhere in Massachusetts.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: His name is Ken Schaffer,
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: and we're talking today about a subject that I know is of interest to lots of people,
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: which is erectile dysfunction.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know, how sexy and horny is that?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, welcome, Ken.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Ken, from a mysterious place in Massachusetts.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thank you for having me.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you said to me just earlier,
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: like a few minutes ago,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: that you've only been a sexual health coach for the past couple of years,
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: which is in my world relatively recently.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me,
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: what was it that prompted you to get into this exciting world of sexual health,
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: especially regarding men?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I got ED many, many years ago, and I did what most men do, at least here in the U.S.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know the healthcare system is different in the U.K.,
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: but here in the U.S.,
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: you go to your primary care doctor,
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: and they proceed,
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: you know,
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I went to a couple specialists,
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: and they proceeded to treat my symptoms without ever really trying to understand
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: what was causing it.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: which is a problem here in the U.S.,
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: at least with our health care system,
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: that they've just started to manage symptoms rather than trying to find the
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: underlying cause.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, they threw Viagra and other pills at me.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And at first they worked great, you know, and I thought, well, you know, this is just how it's treated.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is how you do things.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: But then they stopped working.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that's also a very common experience for men because the underlying condition is not going treated.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so eventually you can't outrun the problem.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I, that started me on a long, I got really frightened.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, you know, I was in my mid fifties at that point.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm not ready to give up on my sex life.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Just,
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I started pouring myself into trying to find doctors who were competent.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I was going through doctors like candy.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's because everybody is conditioned to throw pills at you.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I eventually had to go out of pocket.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: And again,
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know the healthcare system over there is different,
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: but over here we have mostly employer provided insurance and you can go out of pocket,
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: but it's expensive.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And eventually I found doctors who were competent,
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: but in order to practice medicine the way they want to practice it,
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: they had to stop taking insurance.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it was a compromise.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Confidence, you know, the money for the confidence.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I finally found a doctor who really knew what she was doing.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And she's actually a minor celebrity.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: She was on a talk show here in the U.S.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: for a while.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I started working with her.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it was, you know, it was a lot of work.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I learned a lot in the process.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: She also runs a school for clinical sexuality coaching.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I attended her school and became a certified clinical sexuality coach.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I decided to, for obvious reasons, decided to focus on men with ED because that's what I do.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: So...
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: this,
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: so,
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: you know,
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: once I got the certification and,
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: uh,
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: uh,
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: started building my business,
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: that was a couple of years ago and it's,
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: and it's still in the building process at this,
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: this point.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious to know when you went initially to see your doctor before they gave
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: you the little blue pills,
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: did they ask or check for your vascular health?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um,
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: So what happened was I went to my primary care doctor and, you know, that's not a specialty.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So he sent me off.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: I did see an endocrinologist and I saw a urologist.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: The endocrinologist,
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: I went back and looked at the test he gave me and was shocked to find out he didn't
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: even give me all the right tests.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the urologist said,
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: gave me what's called a trimix injection to see if I could get an erection.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a very fast and easy test,
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: basic test for vascular to make sure your vascular can get blood in there.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I got an erection and then he just threw pills at me.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, right.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it was kind of a little bit,
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: like oh we'll do these little quick tests and then and then oh you can get it up oh
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: well done you um here's some blue pills no no no conversation around any of the
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: psychological factors that were going on in your life that might have impacted upon
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: this no actually that never came up uh
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, the conversation with the urologist I went to was, take these pills.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: When they stop working, we'll give you an implant.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Bloody hell.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: As shocked as I was, I just nodded my head and kind of walked out in shock.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: It worked.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: It worked for a while.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, well, this is fine.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just have to take a pill every time I want to have sex.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: But
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Then I discovered through working with a doctor who knew what she was doing that
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: you know, basic health plays a huge role in ED.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Diet is very important.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And here in the US, people have a very terrible diet.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And from what I've seen in Britain, it's not a whole lot better.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's not.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: You keep talking about the UK as if it's like some sort of like amazing place where
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Transformational things are happening, but clearly you haven't been here for a long time.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I can tell you, I can tell you that is definitely not the case.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: We are able,
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: our pharmacies here are able to distribute blue pills just on to anyone who walks
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: into the pharmacy.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: They can just fill in a form.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm providing everything stacks up.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: They just get blue pills.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So like there's even less attention to what the underlying problem is.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just an easy thing to just throw at somebody, right?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing, of course, is that what nobody tells a lot of these people is that
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: blue pills only work if you're actually aroused, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you,
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: if you're not aroused,
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: like the blue pills just going,
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: well,
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: where's the,
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: where's the supermodel turning off or,
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: or whatever you got hooked on porn or whatever,
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: whatever is your little trigger to make your dick go hard.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: They just, if that's not there, like the blue pills just kind of just
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: doesn't necessarily have to work um and as you say like the blue pill may work for
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: a certain amount of time and then it may stop working so then then you're back to
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: the same old place going oh shit now i had the blue pill that was supposed to be
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: the solution the blue pill doesn't work anymore oh crap what do i do now right
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: exactly those are my words exactly um
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a woman, so I get that.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I have Viagra parties with somebody,
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: but they don't take it all the time because they don't need to take it.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But when they want to just stay hard the whole time without thinking about it, then yeah, it's easy.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But that's somebody who doesn't actually really need it.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, it's a whole different ballgame if it's actually a real issue.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people don't realize that
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: One of the reasons why it stops working,
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: as we age,
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: we lose the ability to make a very important substance for the body called nitric oxide.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so nitric oxide, if you're not producing enough, it's impossible to get an erection.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so Viagra kind of works on what it does is it inhibits an enzyme that makes your erection go away.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: So you still have to be able to get an erection, but maintaining it is easier.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: But without the nitric oxide there, nothing's going to happen.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And as we get older, there's less and less there.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's where the nutrition comes in.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: A big part of nutrition is eating lots of vegetables with nitrates.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I did a little TikTok video about foods to avoid if you want to maintain an
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: erection and being a woman and being that it's TikTok and most people don't have
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: much intelligence.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: There was a huge outcry from people going,
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: who are you to tell me that I should eat green vegetables?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And who are you to tell me that I should eat healthy foods and reduce my fats and stuff?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, well, I'm just a person who's done a bit of Google research.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's all.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's not rocket science stuff, honestly, but yeah.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: So,
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: so you went to see this woman and primarily was her focus on moving you more into a
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: healthy lifestyle or was it more in terms of thinking about some of the underlying
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: perhaps psychological causes that may have created,
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: the challenge.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she, she,
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not directly on the psychological part.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: She did give me a lot of
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: She is a therapist of sorts.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: She has a PhD in sexology and she does counsel people on sexual issues.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she did give me a lot of that kind of support.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: But the focus, there were two primary focuses.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: One was getting a healthy lifestyle.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: And again, that's not rocket science, but there is something that a lot of people don't know about that.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And this is worse in the US than it is in the UK.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: We are getting exposed to massive amounts of toxins.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: The government is not regulating them.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a part that a lot of people don't know about.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other aspect was doing therapeutic things.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: So men who cannot get an erection at night, a nocturnal erection,
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: They're the reason why you get them is to get blood in there to feed those tissues.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sure.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you're not getting that nighttime erections, you need to replace it with something.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so men with ED really should be using a pump therapeutically to draw in the blood
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: to help nourish those tissues and help the repair process.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's other therapeutic things you can do,
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: but that's one that if you're a man,
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: you have ED,
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: you really need to get a pump and start using it regularly.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And did you,
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've just had a big discussion with somebody else about this whole pump thing,
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: because it's not clinically proven,
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: but there is a lot of people saying that it's,
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: you should use it,
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: but there's been no
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: no actual clinical studies about this.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's not true, exactly.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's been clinical studies on men who have had prostate removal.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And they can't get an erection.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so in order to maintain the health of the tissue, well, their body is, their nerves are repairing.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And they found that guys who did pump
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: were able to return to normal sexual function and those who didn't pump weren't able to.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they're kind of extrapolating from that.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah, there's still people on the fence.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean,
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I,
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: personally,
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think it makes sense to pump because it would seem like it is,
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: it is increasing the blood flow,
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And increasing the blood flow
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: would seem obvious that it's repairing some of those damaged nerves and it's
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: getting the blood circulating again in that area that may have been damaged.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not completely disputing it.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think it is definitely one aspect that seems to be something that people are doing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I've done stuff about pumps and I bought a pump
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: just myself, just because I was like, Oh, I'm curious to know what this feels like.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of,
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: and it's supposed to do the same thing for women,
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: by the way,
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: although there's,
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: there's not really any evidence or,
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: again,
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: clinical evidence around it,
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: but I quite,
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I thought if you're an older woman,
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: surely a lot of the same things going on and what the pump's doing is it's drawing
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: all that blood into that area and it's maintaining it there.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you know,
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: it may have some restorative effect.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't use it often enough because I use it more as a kind of a bit of a turn on.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: But,
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: but yeah,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to,
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to kind of think it could be,
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've been speaking to somebody and there is,
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: they are going to start doing some studies,
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: some actual proper studies on it because there is,
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: there is certainly enough evidence to suggest that it could be something that
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: that would work I think not all the other thing about it of course is a friend of
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: mine who's who's also got he's got Parkinson's actually but we were talking about
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: using it for that and I think
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing about pumps is they're not all the same.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to try different ones out.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And there's some cheap ones and there's really expensive ones.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And there's ones filled with water, which people seem to really like.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know if you have any preference or suggestions.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know people have asked me a lot about if I could recommend one, which one would I recommend?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I recommend it, guys.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Have it.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: have at least a simple air pump because they travel well and you can use them anywhere.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you prefer a water pump, and you're right, a lot of guys do,
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Have that for your home.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the best water pumps is made there in the UK, Baxaid and Bathmate.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Bathmate, yeah.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: The same company, but two different brands.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Same, basically the same pump.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's considered like the Rolls Royce of water pumps.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I encourage guys, start with a simple pump.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's cheap.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: That way, if it doesn't work out, you're not out of a lot of money.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you go for an expensive pump, you know, that's $300 or $400.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's really expensive.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: So you definitely want to work your way up from cheaper to more expensive.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of crappy pumps out there.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: So there's going to be trial and error.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's no question.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And would you say it's something like,
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: did you see that it took a certain period of time before the ED started to dissipate?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Was it like using it every day?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like from a practical point of view,
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: if somebody's listening and goes,
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: okay,
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to give this a shot.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've got ED.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to, I want to get a pump.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like what is the recommended frequency?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: It varies because you're right.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: No one has, has any protocols that have been tested.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I know one doctor who is like 10 minutes,
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: use it for 10 minutes,
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: rest for a few minutes and use it for another 10 minutes.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Another doctor is use it for a minute, rest for 30 seconds, use it for a minute, do that multiple times.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, everything in between.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: I, I, I think,
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: No one really knows what the best protocol is.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Most doctors will recommend a minimum of three days a week, and some will recommend every day.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, you know, at least split the difference.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Five days a week, you have nothing to lose but a few minutes of time.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean, I think not enough people.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just, I don't even know how I found out about it.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody told me about it.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I told a partner.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, oh, that could be quite fun.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then he did.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, it's quite hot.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Aside from it, from a medical point of view, if you're into that kind of thing, it can be quite hot.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so can the one for the women.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: frankly, but also, you know, clearly some people do actually see some real benefit to it.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think you're right.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's worth giving it a go.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Did you find that when you were doing that, that you didn't use the blue pill anymore?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: I stopped using the blue pill.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um,
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: I eventually went on to get what's called sonic wave therapy.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: That was a turning point for me.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because it had been so long and my tissues had...
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: had degenerated enough where I was going to need more than just getting healthy and
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: doing therapeutic exercise.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to my female doctor, sent me to a urologist that she really expected.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: He did the sonic wave therapy on me.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: And
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: everything turned around at that point wow really yeah yeah it was pretty amazing
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: and it doesn't work for everybody but it worked great for me and uh so i'm very
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: careful to tell guys that you know it's worth trying but for some guys it's going
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: to be magic and for other guys it's
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: there's nothing that's going to happen.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what's involved in that?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know anything about sonic wave therapy after 92 episodes.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: No one's ever mentioned it to me.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's basically they use sound to, and it's a very high frequency.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: It actually feels like, it almost feels like there's electricity at the end of the wave.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: the one that they use.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: And,
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: and so it's,
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: it's supposed to create micro traumas and stimulate the nerves and a bunch of other things.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so by creating the micro traumas, then your body heals that you got new vasculature forming.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's, it's actually fairly popular here in the U S I don't know if it's practiced in
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Outside of the U.S., but it's fairly popular here.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And would you say that this works to some extent as well for men who have had prostate operations or not?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have a definitive answer for you because prostate surgery can be vastly
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: different from man to man.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Some men will never feel, you know, the nerves will be so badly damaged, there's no chance of...
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: As long as the nerves are intact and they work on maintaining the healthy tissue,
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't see any reason why it wouldn't help.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: So now when you work with men and they come to you with ED,
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: do you put together like a protocol for them of all the things that they would need
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: to do to be able to have a healthy erection?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: And is there a psychological component to that or is it mainly kind of nutritional,
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: using a pump?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: whatever, like how does the how how what is involved when when a guy comes to you?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: How do you how do you assess them?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: OK, well, first of all, I try to figure out if it is potentially a psychological issue.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that is usually determined or a very accurate determination for that is are
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: they getting nocturnal erections?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: If they're getting nocturnal erections, it's probably not physical.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would, I'm certainly not qualified to treat the psychological elements and I wouldn't try to.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I would refer them to someone else.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Then what I do is I do two things.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I try to help them find the best doctor available to them based on their resources.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Frankly,
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: that means that a lot of guys are going to have to compromise and have a less than
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: stellar doctor because that's what they can afford.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then I work with them on developing the lifestyle they need to support having
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: erections and maintaining erections.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And similar to your own experience,
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: does that mean generally that most of the people that you're going to refer them to are,
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: as you say,
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: out of plan?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: you know, have you found that there's anybody?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is really difficult, right?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because we've got,
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: we've got similar challenges with our national health system of massive cuts in
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: funding and just not enough resources,
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: right,
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: to be able to deal with this stuff.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: So
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're treating the symptoms and they're just doing something really quick so that
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: they can just get them out of the waiting room and just park them somewhere,
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: right?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so I suspect that, you know, sadly, part of dealing with ED is around how much privilege you have.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, right?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't have the money and you can't afford to see these people and
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: let's face it,
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: medical care in America and like here,
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: private medical care is a fortune.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: Then you're like, well, what's the best?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: What's the best you're going to get?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you've hit the nail on the head with.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: The privilege part.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when I had ED, I had the resources to go out of pocket.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Most guys do not.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: If they do have the resources, I have plenty of doctors I can refer them to.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't, then I work with them.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I help them vet the doctors and help them to find the best one.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: For some guys, they don't even have any choice.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: The insurance company determines who their doctor is.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a struggle.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: But for a lot of guys, ED is a lifestyle issue.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: A large number of cases, especially if it's early in the process.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I knew when I was getting ED,
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: if I knew then what I know now,
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: it would have been a completely different story.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't, and I didn't have good doctors.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well tonight,
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: my,
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: as I told you before we started speaking,
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've just been to a little summit on marketing to the over fifties.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I was on a panel talking about sex and intimacy and relationships and stuff.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: And,
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: and,
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: it was about all the joyful things about having sex in later life and how wonderful
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: it can be.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we should just celebrate the fact that we're older people.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know, honestly, I,
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: After doing this for this podcast for a while, I recognize that not everybody's got it so easy.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there's a lot of people out there who are really struggling.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know who to speak to.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have any vernacular around their own
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: sex life and how to articulate what's going on with their intimacy issues, nothing.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so like, I talk to these people and it's like, I'm saying stuff they've never heard before.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: They've never heard it before.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like somebody's talking to them just straight up about,
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so what's happening with you?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a woman like, oh, you know, are you finding things are a bit dry down there?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, I am.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know there's something you could do about that?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like for a lot of these people, it sounds to me like you have,
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: you've kind of created a space to sit in the middle of a person who's identified
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: they have an issue,
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: doesn't know who to talk to.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you're sort of sitting in the middle there going, okay, what are your financial resources?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on with you?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at what you can actually afford and what's available to you.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's quite a unique little job that you've identified.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: i've never actually met somebody who's like either not solving the problem directly
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: or you know just like a normal kind of counselor right it seems like it seems like
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: you're almost i don't even know how to describe your job it's well if you if you
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: figure out how to describe it please forward that information to me because i'm
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: struggling to describe it um
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: it's like you're a gateway it's like you're you're you're like a section i don't
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: know how to describe that like you're a gatekeeper right you're kind of like this
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: person that sits in in the midst of all of this quite it's quite a unique little
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: job what i tell men is like look i spent 10 years tens of thousands of dollars and
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: went through dozens of doctors
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: And was I mean, I was on the verge of giving up.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, there's no reason why you have to go through that.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I can guide you through the process.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I can't guarantee that you're going to get results.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's no guarantees.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I can guarantee if you do nothing, it's not going to get better on its own.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And a question that I didn't ask before is that,
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sometimes ED is caused by just overusing porn.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is that a question that you ask at the beginning before you get into any of this?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because obviously it's a huge factor, not just with older people, but with younger people as well.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like overuse of porn and just getting completely desensitized.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, when they're in a real relationship, their dick just doesn't behave.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: I do discuss that with the men.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: I actually, I wrote a book called The Practical Guide to Managing Erectile Dysfunction.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have a whole chapter devoted to that because it's all tied in with your dopamine system.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: And these guys are watching so much porn that to get that dopamine level up,
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: It just requires harder and harder versions of pornography.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is definitely an issue, especially for younger guys.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so if that's one of the things,
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: because,
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've spoken to people and they're just like,
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: you just have to go cold turkey,
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: which,
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: of course,
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: is not that easy,
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: but is.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: But at least as a way to kind of figure out,
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: like,
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: if you just take that away,
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: can you can you get them onto a different track?
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but yeah, I realize that's that's a tough one.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: God, Ken, you're going to make me think here about what I should what your title should be.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm like, oh, he is a sexual health coach, but it's not completely.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's got to be a better word for you that we've got to come up with.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe one of our listeners,
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: having listened to this,
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: will write to me and go,
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know what this guy can call himself,
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: and it's not that.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because it is something.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm definitely open to suggestions.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: So if someone out there, hello, if you can give me a better title for
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: please contact me and let me know because what I'm using now isn't working very well.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as you said, you just got started, right?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: And my other side of my life is that I'm a business coach.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm always, you know, and help people to start businesses.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And two years is generally the time that things start clicking into place.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: So
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: typically after two years, you will start to see like, oh, why do people come to me?
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, what's the problem that I'm solving for them?
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, the problem is they don't know how to deal with this.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: They've got a number of different kinds of symptoms and they don't want to,
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: like you say,
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: it's like you don't want to waste thousands of dollars just barking up the wrong
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: tree when somebody can tell you like,
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: look,
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's not going to work for you.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: So let's figure out what will work for you.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that is, yeah, that's the thing.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean,
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: the only thing I would say being a business coach,
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Ken,
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: is that probably you need to get paid referrals from the people that you send
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: people to because
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, it's a kind of one off service.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they go off and they spend a bunch of money with somebody and you don't see any of that.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: So all I would say, it's like you need to figure out some recurring revenue stream here.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: But the book could be that or or something else.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: We can all have a think about that.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm coming to that conclusion.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it's funny that you would mention that.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm very astute when it comes to this kind of shit.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we've reached the end of our... Actually, it's 32 minutes.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: I normally stop at 30, but I was having fun.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, no, thanks very much.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Really, really, really interesting.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: And,
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's always great to hear from people who are trying to solve a problem
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: that they've experienced themselves.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean...
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the best kind of business people, to be honest, because you have firsthand experience.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can talk with genuine knowledge and honesty.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you've been incredibly honest with us about your own challenges with this.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I really do value that.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you very much.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I really appreciated the opportunity to appear on your podcast.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll put, like I always do, all the social media stuff.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if anybody comes up with a really great name for your profession,
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: then we're totally going to let you know.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.