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How to tell if a narcissist is triggered · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So one question a lot of people ask me is how to tell if your
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  narcissistic partner or parent are triggered.
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  How to tell if you've triggered them?
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  What's going on, Beautiful people.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock and welcome to
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  another episode of Being Narcissist Code.
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  Today's episode is about just that y'all, how to tell if you
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  set off a narcissistic person. Because not every narcissist is
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  going to react the same. Not every toxic individual on
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  this planet is going to react the same, just like any other
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  person out there. They're not.
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  No two people are just alike. You mean just like fingerprints?
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  Like the fingerprints look alike, but they are different.
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  That's why. Hey, give me the.
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  Give me the fingerprint, Fingerprint, fingerprint check.
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  Because there's no two sets of fingerprints that are going to
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  be exactly alike. I don't know about identical
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  twins, but, well, identical twins, Alicia, you can nail.
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  You can narrow it down to to two.
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  You said what? What are two people or triplets
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  or whatever. But yeah, how to tell if a
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  narcissist is triggered? How to tell if you've set off
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  your narcissistic, toxic partner?
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  It's of course Y'all. It's easier said than done.
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  Of course that's just the way it goes right there.
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  One the one it's not. It's not foolproof, it's not
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  fail safe. It's just like, one way to tell
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  if the narcissistic person is triggered is by just, yeah,
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  watch their behaviors. Watch their behaviors.
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  The easy way is if they're yelling and screaming at you and
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  they're raging out at you, right?
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  That's the easy way to tell if they're triggered.
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  That's the easiest way. Like, are they yelling at you?
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  Are they screaming at you? Yeah, that's simple.
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  Are they just, like, you know, talking, sending you crazy
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  messages, you know, texting you long paragraphs about how evil
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  and worthless you are that yet they've been triggered in that
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  space right there. That's the easiest way to tell
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  if they're triggered. That's that's let's get that out
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  the way at first, right. But another way to tell the
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  trigger, yeah watch their behaviour is their body
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  language. Their body will tell you what is
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  on their mind like you can mouth mouth, verbal language can
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  change. I said mouth language, verbal
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  language can change. It can differentiate, right.
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  But your body language is very tough to conceal.
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  Micro expressions are very, very tough to conceal.
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  Like you can't. Like you can tell a lot about a
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  person by their micro expressions and how they react.
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  This is like, like, I wouldn't say micro Microsoft like, but
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  like how they act on a in a vacuum, you know, watch their
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  behaviors, their body language will shift if they're triggered.
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  I say again, they can, they can. They can.
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  Their body language can shift and they can start yelling and
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  screaming at you, or they can just become distant with you.
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  Like they don't want to be around you, Like they act like
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  you know they don't want to be touched or something like that.
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  Like you don't want to touch, like you touch their shoulder,
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  like they act like they're afraid of you or something like
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  that. They act like you got the damn T
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  virus from from Resident Evil. They act like, you know, you try
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  to put the cheeks on them, whatever it is, they don't want
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  it. They don't want any type of
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  touch. They don't want any type of
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  closeness with you. They just create.
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  They just create some distance. They act like every they'll
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  they'll pretend like everything is OK, but they'll just create
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  this distance with their bodies, right?
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  They'll just create this distance, this unique space with
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  their bodies in order to, you know, break it down in order to
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  hurt you or whatever. It's not not necessarily hurt
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  you, but only to break it down, you know, in order to.
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  It's just in order to get you to know that something is going on,
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  Get to. Sometimes they can use it to
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  gaslight you and confuse you and have you thinking that something
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  is going on. But sometimes they just play
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  with you. They like some nurses like to
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  play out. It's like video.
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  It's like playing the video game.
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  Some narcissistic people absolutely like to play with
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  you. They'll mess with you.
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  They just will. They'll just, like, say, turn it
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  back to you. They're just like this.
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  Don't. They won't make eye contact with
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  you. They'll look down and like, they
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  afraid of you. Yeah.
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  Why is their body language? Why their behaviors?
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  Because their behaviors and their body language will tell
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  you everything that you need to know.
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  I promise you it will. Their behaviors and their body
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  language will tell you absolutely everything that you
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  need to know about this situation, will tell you
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  everything about how this person feels, what's on their mind,
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  what they're thinking, and all of the all of this day in the
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  theory, you know. It's just part of how it goes.
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  This is the space of how it goes.
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  Like, they will tell you all of this stuff.
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  It didn't hurt you. They will.
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  I mean, they won't. They won't tell you.
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  Sometimes they just act like nothing is going on.
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  It's just their body has shifted.
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  Their, their. They create this distance, this
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  unnecessary, this uncomfortable distance.
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  Like they won't hold your hand, they won't clap no cheeks.
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  They won't, they won't do anything with you.
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  You mean they don't want to be around you?
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  They take too long to text back. They ignore your phone calls.
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  Like they just, you know, like they're literally, they're
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  still, but they're they're still talking to you like nothing is
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  going on, but their body is telling you that something is
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  going on. They've been triggered some way,
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  shape or form. And guess what?
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  You might not be the trigger. You're the person who's they're
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  taking it out on, but you might not be the trigger.
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  They can be cheating on you with somebody.
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  And that person that they that they are cheating on you with
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  has cut them off, and now they're triggered and now
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  they're sad. So they create distance with
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  you. They might have got fired from
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  their job and been lying to you about going to work in the
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  morning. But guess what?
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  You didn't do that. You didn't make them get fired.
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  They're triggered about the loss of job, the loss of income, the
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  stress. So guess what happens in that
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  space? They taking out on you because
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  you're close to them. You see how You see how you see
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  how closeness works. You see how that that closeness
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  works and things like that. That's how it goes right there.
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  Y'all. That's literally how it goes.
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  A lot of times in these spaces, like they their body changes,
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  but they're like I said, it is not might even be your fault.
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  You're the recipient of said trigger, but you might not have
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  triggered them. You might be getting yelled or
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  screamed at and you might not have triggered them.
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  You might have, but you might not have.
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  You might just be the recipient, because you're the closest
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  person to them. You're the person who sees them
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  the most other than the people at work.
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  You're the the person that sees them the most, right?
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  Just in this unique space. So that happens all the time.
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  Y'all It just does. It's one of those things that
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  happens so much in these spaces. No, it really, it really, really
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  is. It's one of those things that
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  happens consistently in these toxic spaces, in these toxic
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  dynamics. So you have to be very weary.
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  You have to be very careful. It just happens.
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  Y'all it is this, you know, And another way to tell if a
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  narcissist or a toxic person is triggered other than rage, other
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  than a body language shifting, is if they give you, they don't
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  talk to you at all. Sometimes.
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  Yeah, I call the silent treatment Silent Rage.
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  You don't like Silent Hill, but Silent Rage, They're angry as
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  hell. They're triggered at you.
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  Something that is triggered at you or triggered with you or
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  something else in their life has triggered them and they're not
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  talking to you. You're getting punished by a
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  lack of communication. Now in the silent treatment,
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  y'all they're not, typically, they're not texting, they're not
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  calling, they're not doing anything.
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  You see what I'm saying? They're not texting.
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  They're not calling. If y'all live together, they're
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  not talking to you. They're ignoring you.
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  They're pretending you don't exist.
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  You know silent treatment is stonewalling.
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  Stonewalling is acting like you don't exist too.
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  You know they give you the silent treatment.
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  Or they Stonewall you, pretending like you, your
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  presence, like they pretend like you're a ghost.
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  They pretty much pretend like you're a ghost in the situation
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  right here, like you. Your present is meaningless.
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  They take away all the communication.
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  They try to intentionally hurt your thoughtless.
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  They do all of this stuff right here to mess with you and then
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  mess with your head, you see, And it continuously happens.
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  I wish, I wish there was a a way that it wouldn't happen to so
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  many people. But yeah, it just does.
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  This is one of those things that it consistently happens to a lot
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  of people. And again, you might not have
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  triggered them. You might not even be the person
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  that set them off. You might just be the recipient.
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  You might be the person that's getting it, not the person
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  that's receiving it. You might be you.
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  They might be giving you the silence treatment because
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  something else in their life has triggered them.
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  But if you've triggered them, they probably won't tell you.
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  That's the crazy thing about it is you might not ever know why
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  they are behaving like this. Because once this wave of
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  silence has passed by, they might start acting like nothing
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  has happened. They might, you might, they
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  might not talk to you for a whole 2-3 weeks.
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  And then one day you walk in the kitchen, they're like, hey babe,
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  what you doing? And you're like, what?
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  You talking to me? Yeah.
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  Why? Why wouldn't I?
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  Gotcha. Now you angry as hell.
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  You flaming like you might be flaming hot.
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  That they're acting like nothing has happened and they're talking
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  to you like nothing. Like nothing has happened.
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  Like, so we're going to act like we're going to gloss over that
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  You haven't talked to me in 2 weeks.
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  What are you talking about? See you living in the past.
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  Like see there was a past, There was a past that was just
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  yesterday. Is yesterday not the past?
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  Is yesterday not the past. Y'all that's give me, give
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  y'all. Somebody got to hit me with.
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  The answer is yesterday, not the past.
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  Could they do something like that to you as well?
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  Y'all the narcissist mind works different.
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  Y'all narcissist mind is going to work.
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  Weirdly, a lot of times in these dynamics, in these situations,
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  the narcissist mind is going to do a lot.
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  Yeah, they're going to hurt. They're going to hurt a lot of
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  people. A lot of people are going to get
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  hurt in these situations. They just are.
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  And this is how it goes. Y'all literally, this is how it
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  goes. They just are going to get,
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  they're going to hurt a lot of people through their silence and
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  through their actions. Because sometimes y'all, they
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  won't tell you what has triggered them because they're
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  embarrassed or ashamed of it and or because they don't even know
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  what triggered them. Like y'all y'all could be out at
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  dinner and the waiter just laughs at your joke.
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  Or the waitress just laughs at your joke.
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  Now you're getting punished for it.
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  Now it's a silent treatment. Now their Bible language has
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  shifted. Now they might be yelling and
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  screaming at you in the car on the way home.
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  You see what I'm saying? Now they might cause a scene in
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  the restaurant that might cause a scene.
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  Y'all, you know, a lot of narcissists like try to do it in
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  private, but some of them don't care about the public.
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  Y'all. Some of them will embarrass you
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  in public because they didn't, they didn't hurt in private, you
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  know. Some of them will absolutely do
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  it like that. Some of them absolutely handle
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  their business like this. That's the that's the y'all.
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  I'm not going to say that's the price you pay for dealing with
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  the narcissist, but a lot of narcissist will absolutely
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  punish you for dealing with them.
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  Y'all, it's kind of part of the process.
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  It's kind of part of the dynamic, kind of part of the
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  mindset of dealing with a toxic, abusive person that is out to
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  hurt you, that is out to actively harm you, that is out
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  to actively put you through it because they are feeling down
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  about themselves or somebody else that has triggered you.
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  You know what I mean? And the last way I'm going to go
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  over real quick. If you triggered A narcissist,
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  they just, they might ghost you or break up with you in a
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  relationship if you exist. An intimate relationship had to
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  tell. If the narcissist is triggered,
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  they literally might just break up with your Goshen.
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  And the simplicity of it is again, it might not be your
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  fault that you got broken up with Narcissistic people get
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  bored. They look for a new supply just
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  based on boredom. Like, I'm bored, let me go find
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  somebody else and they go hunting.
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  Then they go searching. Then you see what I'm saying?
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  That happens to a lot of people. Y'all.
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  But you have to protect yourself.
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  You have to be as safe as you possibly can.
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  You have to be as strong as you possibly can.
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  Because narcissistic people y'all.
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  At the end of the day, they ought to serve themselves.
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  They just are. Let me wrap this thing up.
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• 11:04
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• 11:06
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• 11:12
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• 11:15
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• 11:17
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• 11:46
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• 11:49
  to the end of my video. Y'all.
• 11:50
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• 11:53
  not YOUR fault. To help kids understand that
• 11:56
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• 11:58
  born into. Talk about boundaries, telling
• 12:01
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• 12:03
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  to. Thank you so much.
• 12:09
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.