Latest / A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart / Red Flags in Relationships Most People Ignore

Transcript

Red Flags in Relationships Most People Ignore · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: There are three types of people in this world. Those
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: who are married, those who aren't looking, and those who
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: are praying to everything holy that they find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: And not another jerk who will use and abuse them.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: If you're in that first or last group, stick around.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about some signs of a toxic relationship that
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: most people completely miss. I wasn't, but I am now.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: There's a big difference between being insecure and feeling like
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: the foundation of your relationship isn't secure. WebMD defines insecurity as,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a feeling of inadequacy and uncertainty. Being insecure might look
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: like attention or approval seeking or asking for reassurance when
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: there isn't a reason to have doubt or fear. Feeling
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: like your relationship isn't secure is catching your partner cheating,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: then wondering if they're lying when they say they're going
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: on a trip with friends a month later. In an
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: article for Women's Health Magazine, Rachel Sussman, a licensed clinical
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: social worker and marriage and family therapist, explains that one
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: quality of a healthy relationship is the significant back and
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: forth where you are complimenting each other bringing out the
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: best in each other and letting each other know, I
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: care about you. I'm here for you. And this is why.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: If you're neglected or being put down, this lack of
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: support can bring about insecurity, thus creating a toxic relationship.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Are your needs met? Buckle up, y'all. This one's a twofer.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: When you're in a relationship, you should still be an
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: individual and take care of your individual needs, including basic
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: needs like eating and personal hygiene. This also includes other
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: needs like self-care and seeking a goal or purpose in life,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: In Healthline's article, Is Your Relationship Toxic? What to Look For, Dr.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Catalina Lawson, PhD, states that ignoring your personal needs can
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: be a sign that you're in a toxic relationship. Now,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: ignoring your needs can be a symptom of many things,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: but if you're unhappy with your relationship, the two may
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: be correlated. Now, what about when your partner ignores your needs?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Your partner obviously doesn't need to wait on you hand
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and foot to tend to your every need, but if
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: you tell your partner that you need to finish an
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: overdue project tonight, they shouldn't tell their parents you'll both
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: be over for dinner that night. Dr. Lawson explains that
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: this disregard for your boundaries and comfort levels can be
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: a big sign of toxicity. As humans, we may make
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: up excuses for our partner's oversights. That's why this sign
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: is pretty easy to overlook. You didn't mean it, but
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: it happened. When you're in a relationship, you may not
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: agree with every single one of your partner's opinions, but
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you usually support your partner's goals and beliefs. When your
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: partner is consistently unsupportive, possibly to the point of undermining you,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: this can creep into toxic territory. Asai has a friend.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: We'll call them Lisa. Lisa dresses a bit differently and
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: has different beliefs than most people. Lisa's partner has a
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: family member, Charlie, who doesn't agree with her style or
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: her beliefs. Whenever Lisa and her partner visit, Charlie always
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: makes passive-aggressive comments towards Lisa. Because Lisa wants to be
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: polite in his house, she doesn't say anything to Charlie,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: but she does let her partner know it bothers her.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Instead of standing up for her, Lisa's partner says she
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: should take the high road because everyone knows he's wrong
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: and being rude. In a Time Magazine article, family medicine
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: doctor specializing in mental health, Dr. Kristen Fuller, explains that
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: this and similar behaviors can be a sign of a
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: toxic relationship. Even if Lisa's partner doesn't mean to hurt
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: her and is trying to show they agree, they're undermining Lisa. Dr.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Fuller explains this could be due to the partner not
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: being supported as a child or in their life, or
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: they could truly be malicious. Either way, constantly pushing your
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: partner aside can be a toxic sign that's constantly missed.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: The puppet master. Have you ever had a partner ask
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: who you were texting or even tell you who you're
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: allowed and not allowed to talk to or hang out with?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: If so, this is a huge red flag of a
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: toxic relationship. Your partner should be just that, a partner,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: not your manager. Dr. Sonja Bruner, a licensed therapist, did
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: a video for BetterHelp on toxic relationships. And this is
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the very first sign on her list. She explains that
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: a partner who is jealous or perhaps controlling may monitor
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: your social media accounts, emails, or phone to see who
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: you're talking to. They may even go as far as
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: to monitor where you are, who you're with, and when. Now, Dr.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Bruner does point out that it's possible your partner may
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: be genuinely concerned for your safety, but she also goes
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: on to clarify that it's much less likely to be
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: genuine concern and more likely to be controlling behavior if
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: it happens consistently. We'll say it again. Even though you're
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, you both should still be your own person.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: This means that you should have your own interests and
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: friend groups separate from your partner or their friends. Balancing
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: the time spent together and apart is a sign of
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: a healthy relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: it is or how long you've been in it. Toxic
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: is toxic and you deserve better. Have you ever experienced
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: any of these? Are there any other easy to miss
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: signs that you're in a toxic relationship that we didn't
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: talk about? Let us know in the comments below. If
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you don't wanna share there, always know that you can
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: reach out to a mental health professional to help figure
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: out if your relationship is truly toxic. Don't forget to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: like and subscribe and we'll see you next time.