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Navigating Office Friendships, Work Boundaries and Leadership Lessons · All About The Joy

0:00
Carmen Lezeth: Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
0:01
Carmen Lezeth: Hey Rick, how are you Good?
0:04
Carmen Lezeth: How are you Good?
0:05
Carmen Lezeth: Is everything okay, yep just rushing.
0:09
Carmen Lezeth: Let me drink from my coffee cup.
0:13
Rick Costa: Yeah, I think I might too.
0:14
Carmen Lezeth: Look it, he's got the really cool one, though Yours says it really is All About the Joy.
0:21
Carmen Lezeth: My design, my design, thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:24
Carmen Lezeth: I can't believe you bought that, thank you so much.
0:27
Rick Costa: Oh my.
0:28
Carmen Lezeth: God, you're really going to keep all about that.
0:29
Carmen Lezeth: Every time you do this show, you're going to put the cushion up there.
0:32
Rick Costa: Why not?
0:33
Carmen Lezeth: I love you for that.
0:36
Rick Costa: I love this for us.
0:37
Carmen Lezeth: I love this for us.
0:38
Carmen Lezeth: People bought stuff.
0:39
Carmen Lezeth: Now I know, cynthia, oh cool, you know, cynthia, did you just buy one thing or did you buy a lot of stuff?
0:44
Carmen Lezeth: Because somebody bought really, we got quite a few orders, so people bought some stuff.
0:49
Carmen Lezeth: Hey, melanie, how are you?
0:52
Carmen Lezeth: Hey, I was, I'm shook, I'm a little bit shook by it.
0:56
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, Nice t-shirt.
0:58
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, now we all have uniforms we must wear.
1:04
Rick Costa: Yeah, I was like one more time, like one more time, I'm gonna wear this again.
1:07
Carmen Lezeth: I was like one more time, at least one more time.
1:08
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't know if we need to wear it every week.
1:09
Carmen Lezeth: I like the cushion and I'm like cup or something.
1:11
Carmen Lezeth: You know, we can always let people know where they can get swag at all about the joycom which you can see at the bottom ticker, because I still don't know how to turn that off, isn't the mug he has?
1:21
Carmen Lezeth: Cool?
1:22
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, it really is all about the joy.
1:23
Carmen Lezeth: It's a good mug.
1:24
Carmen Lezeth: That one's a good one.
1:25
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, it's really cool.
1:26
Carmen Lezeth: You know what, melanie, I think, because you're a regular person that comes on this show, I think I'd like to buy you that mug.
1:33
Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to buy Melanie a mug.
1:36
Carmen Lezeth: I will do that for you.
1:37
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, she's the MVP.
1:39
Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to do that for you, girl.
1:41
Carmen Lezeth: So I will direct message you and we'll hook that up.
1:45
Rick Costa: I'm surprised for being the first commenter.
1:47
Carmen Lezeth: But she's always on, she's a loyal fan and I appreciate her and I think that's the least we can do.
1:52
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
1:53
Carmen Lezeth: So, speaking of swag again, allaboutthejoycom you can go check that out.
1:57
Carmen Lezeth: You'll see the store there.
1:58
Carmen Lezeth: I want to show our friend who did the candle.
2:02
Carmen Lezeth: You're going to be proud of me, rick, I actually have this all set up.
2:06
Carmen Lezeth: So I'm going to show Thor.
2:07
Carmen Lezeth: Remember the candle I was talking about last week?
2:09
Carmen Lezeth: I think I sent you and Cynthia both, so you would know what it smells like.
2:14
Carmen Lezeth: He did a whole presentation on it, so I'd like to share that with everyone.
2:17
Carmen Lezeth: So this is Thor Bradley, the.
2:20
Carmen Lezeth: What is the name of the?
2:22
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I think he says it, so let's just listen to him for a second.
2:24
Carmen Lezeth: Here it goes.
2:26
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: The candle is all the way back Now.
2:29
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: Right now you can get on a discount in the TikTok shop.
2:32
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: But more importantly is the question I forgot to answer last time, and that is what does it smell like?
2:37
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: It smells like a guy who puts his grocery cart away.
2:41
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: It smells like someone who takes their boots off at the door.
2:45
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: It smells like asking for directions.
2:48
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: It smells like knowing how to use the phrase, I don't know.
2:51
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: It smells like taking an ice bath and not posting about it on social media, and if you really want to, you can spray it all over your sheets.
3:02
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator: Now I cannot get out of here without an innuendo, Even if I fucking try.
3:11
Carmen Lezeth: Come on, he's funny.
3:13
Carmen Lezeth: Could you guys hear it okay?
3:15
Rick Costa: Yeah.
3:17
Carmen Lezeth: I did the intro, I did a TikTok video.
3:19
Carmen Lezeth: I'm impressed with myself.
3:22
Rick Costa: Yeah.
3:24
Carmen Lezeth: These are the things that matter to me, Cynthia how was your week so far.
3:30
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Let's see it was a short week, even though it felt long.
3:33
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: We had Monday off.
3:34
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's so weird how short weeks feel longer.
3:38
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But it was an interesting week.
3:41
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: A lot of gossiping going around in the office, oh, you gotta love that though, right Uh yes, and no, is that water?
3:49
Carmen Lezeth: cooler or bad stuff?
3:52
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's a little bit of both, but it was just.
3:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was interesting and it's just yeah.
3:57
Rick Costa: So inter-office gossip or outside office Inter-office?
4:02
Rick Costa: Why is Carmen shook?
4:04
Carmen Lezeth: I'm gasping because excuse me for one moment All my notes that I wrote in my thing disappeared.
4:13
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know why.
4:17
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was so proud of myself.
4:18
Carmen Lezeth: So I did all my notes today.
4:20
Carmen Lezeth: So you could just give me one moment.
4:23
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just going to go look at the email.
4:25
Carmen Lezeth: I know they have this new thing where you can have your notes, and I think I told you guys about it last week and I put all my notes in there and now they're gone, cause I think I was going in and out.
4:34
Carmen Lezeth: I was trying to do the intro to impress Rick, who didn't even see it.
4:39
Carmen Lezeth: Whatever, you should be able to save it, but I guess you can't.
4:45
Carmen Lezeth: All right, no, I don't.
4:46
Carmen Lezeth: A lot of gossiping going on, I hear you.
4:50
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Or just you start to realize who is petty and who is in, and who you can trust and who you can't.
4:57
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I love petty I'm the one that always observes and just tests the waters first, before I say anything to anybody.
5:07
Rick Costa: That's smart.
5:08
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, how long were?
5:09
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: you at your other place.
5:11
Carmen Lezeth: Eight and a half, almost nine years yeah, I still can't imagine you being part of the gossip pool.
5:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, no.
5:21
Carmen Lezeth: Rick, how was your week?
5:24
Rick Costa: We had a fire marshal come today actually.
5:27
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, we love firemen, but go ahead Was he cute, was he hot?
5:34
Rick Costa: You're asking me.
5:36
Carmen Lezeth: You could be a man who believes, just like Thor.
5:39
Carmen Lezeth: You could be comfortable with another man being handsome.
5:43
Rick Costa: I guess, anyway.
5:45
Rick Costa: So I've been anticipating this thing and I'm like, okay, I hope we did everything we're supposed to, blah, blah, blah.
5:49
Rick Costa: And one of the things we were supposed to do was the last time he came.
5:52
Rick Costa: You have to have sprinklers over the furnaces in the basement, first of all, because this is a three-family house.
5:57
Rick Costa: That's why they have to come 'm like, but nobody even lives upstairs, so they're like you're gonna have to talk to the zoning commission, blah blah, and see if they could change.
6:07
Rick Costa: I'm like, I wish they would, because I ain't trying to pay all this money for no reason.
6:10
Rick Costa: This is stupid, because it's 25 per unit, 75.
6:13
Rick Costa: So anyway, sprinklers got put in literally yesterday.
6:17
Rick Costa: Okay, wow.
6:19
Rick Costa: And now I was praying lord, please don't let it be more than 500.
6:22
Rick Costa: But you heard my prayer because it was like 483 or something like that.
6:25
Rick Costa: I was like, why didn't I pray for 300?
6:27
Rick Costa: But anyway, so I got that done.
6:31
Carmen Lezeth: You have to be specific, when you pray, you really do.
6:34
Rick Costa: It's not even a joke.
6:35
Rick Costa: And of course I made sure all the smoke.
6:39
Carmen Lezeth: Hey Mario, hey Mario he says hi guys, sorry that I've been mia.
6:47
Carmen Lezeth: Lots of life stuff been happening.
6:48
Carmen Lezeth: I love you.
6:48
Carmen Lezeth: We back on soon.
6:48
Carmen Lezeth: No problem, baby, I know how you is, I love you, no matter what.
6:51
Carmen Lezeth: We'll talk soon.
6:52
Carmen Lezeth: Until all my said hi go ahead.
6:56
Rick Costa: So I had to make sure all the smoke detectors are working.
6:59
Rick Costa: So I had to go upstairs make sure all those are working.
7:01
Rick Costa: Blah, blah, blah and so, anyway, long story short, we did everything good.
7:05
Rick Costa: He only found like a, like a two little teeny minor things, which is not even a big deal.
7:09
Rick Costa: And so I go who do I make the checkouts?
7:12
Rick Costa: You guys take checks.
7:12
Rick Costa: He goes yeah, we still antiquated, we still taking checks.
7:15
Rick Costa: So I'm like you don't take credit cards.
7:16
Rick Costa: Okay, thank God the plumber took credit cards, it's the fire marshal.
7:20
Carmen Lezeth: there they can be whatever they need to be.
7:23
Rick Costa: Okay, sure, and so I gave him the check and we're talking, whatever, and I'm telling him about my mom with dementia and he goes oh, my mom had dementia too, and I had siblings.
7:33
Rick Costa: Though, we all helped together, all of us, and I was like this is just me, I got to do everything myself, and I think he felt so bad for me.
7:40
Rick Costa: He goes you know what?
7:41
Rick Costa: Here, take this, this check, hold on to it.
7:43
Rick Costa: I'm gonna talk to my boss and see if he can wave this for you shut up.
7:47
Rick Costa: I was like, are you serious?
7:48
Rick Costa: He goes, yeah, I said, why don't you just keep it?
7:49
Rick Costa: And then if he says, no, rip it up because no, just take it and I'll see what I could do, I was like, dude, that would be awesome if you could do, that'd be really awesome okay, so that was a very specific prayer, I guess wow.
8:03
Rick Costa: So yeah, I was pretty happy about that.
8:04
Carmen Lezeth: So you saved $500?
8:06
Carmen Lezeth: .
8:07
Rick Costa: No, $500 was for the sprinklers.
8:09
Carmen Lezeth: Oh the $75.
8:11
Rick Costa: $75 was $25 per unit to inspect them.
8:13
Carmen Lezeth: But you know what you could spend that $75 on right.
8:17
Rick Costa: More merch.
8:18
Carmen Lezeth: Over at allaboutthejoycom.
8:20
Rick Costa: Which is scrolling at the bottom of the screen.
8:24
Carmen Lezeth: I don't even want to.
8:25
Carmen Lezeth: I just put my notes back up.
8:26
Carmen Lezeth: I don't even want to try to mess with that.
8:28
Carmen Lezeth: It's so funny.
8:29
Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm just kidding Rick, can you see?
8:39
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Did you just do that on purpose, you dork?
8:41
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I totally did.
8:43
Carmen Lezeth: It's going to have to be like this thing Whenever we sell merch.
8:49
Carmen Lezeth: Now you're going to have to do that.
8:53
Rick Costa: Send us a video of you drinking slurping from your cup, and the best one will win a prize.
8:58
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh, my god, that was so good.
9:03
Carmen Lezeth: You're quitting today.
9:06
Rick Costa: I'm happy because I saved some money.
9:09
Carmen Lezeth: No, that's so good.
9:10
Carmen Lezeth: I was telling Cynthia I was shook that people actually bought stuff last week.
9:14
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like, wow, that's so cool.
9:15
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
9:16
Carmen Lezeth: She bought stuff too, but she shouldn't have.
9:19
Carmen Lezeth: If you're on the show, I think I can buy you something.
9:23
Carmen Lezeth: We'll talk about it later, whatever, whatever.
9:26
Carmen Lezeth: Anyways, okay, great.
9:27
Carmen Lezeth: One of the things I wanted to talk about, going back to what Cynthia was talking about, wasn't really about gossip in my office, but one of my clients kept pressing me to talk about politics.
9:37
Carmen Lezeth: So we have this weekly meeting and it's me and this other person and him and everybody was in the office, so it's not like a closed door meeting or anything, so people can hear you.
9:47
Carmen Lezeth: It's a big warehouse production company and anyways, we're sitting there talking.
9:51
Carmen Lezeth: He's Carmen, I just want to ask you some questions about these two.
9:55
Carmen Lezeth: And he was saying derogatory things about these two political candidates and I was like I don't talk to my clients about politics and I thought that would be the end of it.
10:04
Carmen Lezeth: He followed me back to my office.
10:06
Carmen Lezeth: He kept asking me and finally I had to be abrupt about it and I was like I need you to respect this boundary, like I had to raise my voice.
10:13
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean and it's not like anyone wouldn't know where I lean.
10:18
Carmen Lezeth: I'm keeping it secret but I try to keep myself very professional at work.
10:23
Carmen Lezeth: Don't get me wrong.
10:24
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not mean or anything, but I'm not friends with people at work.
10:28
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not friends with anybody at work at any client that I work with.
10:32
Carmen Lezeth: None of them, and several of them in the past.
10:35
Carmen Lezeth: Like one of my other, I was always like, oh, just come out with us for a drink.
10:38
Carmen Lezeth: No, I will not.
10:40
Carmen Lezeth: Like I've played this game before.
10:42
Carmen Lezeth: So not Like I've played this game before.
10:47
Carmen Lezeth: So it started me thinking about if you guys have any experiences at all with this kind of thing and have you ever dealt with it.
10:50
Carmen Lezeth: Are there certain things you don't talk about with people at work?
10:54
Carmen Lezeth: Are you friends with people at work?
10:56
Carmen Lezeth: Do you guys go out after work and hang out?
10:59
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just curious of what that dynamic might be in your different kind of work history lives.
11:06
Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't have to be right now, because I know circumstances are very different.
11:09
Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, it's new rick.
11:11
Carmen Lezeth: You really do work from home, but just in your whole work life in general it doesn't matter ladies like right now I I don't have any friends at work.
11:23
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I I've only been there for two months now, but my previous job, obviously, with me being there for so long.
11:29
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You do make friends and so there are about four girls that I'm really close with and we'll go out to dinner or have drinks every once in a while and stuff like that.
11:39
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But I wouldn't do that with just anybody.
11:41
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I really don't.
11:42
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like I told you, I observe people before I even let them in to my little circle.
11:49
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's so funny because the other day me and Juan, my husband, were talking and even he said and I thought it was very funny how he saw this and I didn't think he did but he's like you are so closed off from everybody, he's yeah, he's you don't let anybody in.
12:09
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He's.
12:10
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You always say you don't have friends.
12:11
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He's, but you have some very close friends and those you can count with one hand.
12:17
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He's, but you really have, I guess, kind of trust issues.
12:21
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He's you really don't let people into your personal life, kind of trust issues.
12:26
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He's you really don't let people into your personal life.
12:28
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And I thought that was funny that he even saw that, because I thought it's me, I was, I'm open with people I'm comfortable with.
12:32
Carmen Lezeth: but I don't know.
12:34
Carmen Lezeth: It's interesting that he said you were closed.
12:35
Carmen Lezeth: I don't think you're closed off, I think you're protective, I think words matter so you wouldn't just let anyone that you just met.
12:42
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I agree with him, but I think his words were his word you said yeah, it's probably off.
12:47
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah Is wrong Because you're the last person I would think is closed off on the planet.
12:52
Carmen Lezeth: Even though you might not be friends with somebody, if somebody needed something you would sense it and help them.
12:57
Carmen Lezeth: So closed off would be somebody who's not even like just paying attention, Just not even.
13:02
Carmen Lezeth: It's a block.
13:04
Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, Interesting I would.
13:08
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I'm not going to overanalyze in my therapy, you know, Dr Carmen therapist, I never, ever talk about politics at work or religion.
13:26
Carmen Lezeth: I've never heard you talk about politics with me or religion, so I don't even think it's a topic with you.
13:28
Carmen Lezeth: Now.
13:28
Carmen Lezeth: You know who I speak to about religion and politics all the time, andrea.
13:31
Carmen Lezeth: So I have certain friends that we do certain things together, and Alden, billy and Andrea are the people.
13:41
Carmen Lezeth: It's politics and social issues, but really politics all the time.
13:46
Carmen Lezeth: Those are my friends, mia and I.
13:48
Carmen Lezeth: We would never talk.
13:49
Carmen Lezeth: We do talk about politics, but it's not as important as in our friendship.
13:53
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
13:53
Carmen Lezeth: Uh, so it's interesting, yeah, but do you care?
13:58
Carmen Lezeth: You don't care about politics, though, do you?
14:01
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, see, so that's why I never bring it up with you, rick.
14:05
Carmen Lezeth: What about you?
14:07
Rick Costa: So I would say my first job, mcdonald's.
14:10
Rick Costa: When I was pretty young, I would do sometimes something with someone.
14:14
Rick Costa: I may go to the movie or hang out, blah, blah, blah, but that was it.
14:19
Rick Costa: After that job, nope, your friends were friends at work.
14:24
Rick Costa: Once I leave work, I don't know you no more.
14:29
Rick Costa: That's it.
14:30
Rick Costa: So yeah, but other than that, sammy sepsal mr.
14:40
Carmen Lezeth: Dj right, DJ right, Sammy hi.
14:44
Carmen Lezeth: Oh my god, sammy is like our brother from another mother, oh okay, he's so cool and he's a DJ, or he was a DJ.
14:53
Carmen Lezeth: Is he still a DJ?
14:53
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, okay, one of the funniest things that happened after the DNC thing.
15:00
Carmen Lezeth: Did you hear, when I think it was late night?
15:02
Carmen Lezeth: Stephen, what's his name?
15:04
Rick Costa: Colbert Colbert.
15:05
Carmen Lezeth: Stephen Colbert.
15:06
Carmen Lezeth: One of the jokes he said it's the first time parents were proud to say my son is a DJ.
15:17
Rick Costa: That's funny.
15:18
Carmen Lezeth: I thought it was really a funny joke.
15:20
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
15:21
Carmen Lezeth: But hey, Sammy, thank you for stopping by.
15:23
Carmen Lezeth: That's so cool to see you.
15:25
Carmen Lezeth: It's been a minute wow okay cool.
15:28
Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead, rick.
15:29
Rick Costa: I'm sorry so after mcdonald's you did not yeah, I don't think I ever hung out, ever after work, with anybody.
15:36
Rick Costa: And like I said at work, sure, you're my friend at work, but after work, nope, I don't know you no more like did something happen that you don't like it.
15:44
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, just I leave work at work.
15:44
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I don't want you no more like did something happen that you don't like it.
15:46
Rick Costa: No, just I leave work at work.
15:47
Rick Costa: I don't want to bring nothing with me home like I got enough issues at home where I ain't trying to think about work after work if I don't have to oh, that's a good thing to think, because you usually only hear that about firemen or polic's.
15:59
Carmen Lezeth: All about the fireman.
16:00
Rick Costa: Here's the thing.
16:08
Carmen Lezeth: I am now addicted to another show called.
16:10
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Chicago, oh no.
16:15
Carmen Lezeth: I love 9-1-1 too, cynthia.
16:17
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, by the way, it's official 9-1-1.
16:19
Carmen Lezeth: Lone Star.
16:19
Carmen Lezeth: It's its final season.
16:21
Carmen Lezeth: It's official.
16:22
Carmen Lezeth: I think yesterday or whatever, but now.
16:24
Carmen Lezeth: It took me a while to get into chicago fire, but I'm in and it's really good, yeah.
16:30
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what to say, but now, like I see the fight, like we, I've always had respect for firemen.
16:37
Carmen Lezeth: You hear that you know you pull over, you wait.
16:39
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
16:40
Carmen Lezeth: Always, whatever, always thought they were great, but now I like Jen Yiflet.
16:48
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She's like bowing down to them now.
16:49
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh my God, I love you.
16:50
Carmen Lezeth: It's so long.
16:52
Carmen Lezeth: But I really feel totally different about firemen now, completely because of these shows.
16:57
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't know what they did.
16:59
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't know what they did.
17:01
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
17:03
Carmen Lezeth: I knew how good looking they were.
17:05
Carmen Lezeth: By the way, most firemen do not look like these guys, so I'm just going to say that straight up.
17:10
Carmen Lezeth: That's not the part I'm talking about, but the things that they do.
17:14
Carmen Lezeth: You don't really realize it.
17:16
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't, anyways, yeah, okay, I'm a little giddy about firemen, but you threw me off track.
17:21
Carmen Lezeth: What was I saying about firemen?
17:22
Carmen Lezeth: But you threw me off track.
17:23
Carmen Lezeth: What?
17:23
Rick Costa: what was I saying about firemen?
17:25
Rick Costa: You start saying firemen, policemen and others yeah, I forgot why we're gone too.
17:31
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, whatever, oh, just leaving your stuffage at work.
17:36
Carmen Lezeth: Like you hear that professions like doctors too, they don't want to bring some of the horrible things that they see or social workers say that a lot too.
17:43
Carmen Lezeth: If they deal with a lot of painful situation domestic violence or whatever they try not to bring that home.
17:48
Carmen Lezeth: I think it's really hard to do that.
17:51
Carmen Lezeth: But as I think about how work has been for me and how stressful it's been in the past, I'm trying to be better about not bleeding into time that I set aside for myself, right, like making sure I go out for that workout or go for that walk or go out for dinner with a friend or whatever, and not have it consuming.
18:12
Carmen Lezeth: But it's hard, it's hard, but it's also like when you have to put the boundaries up with a client and say I don't want to talk about politics with you and he couldn't understand why.
18:22
Carmen Lezeth: He couldn't understand why, which was interesting.
18:26
Carmen Lezeth: I think he was trying to egg me on to have an argument.
18:28
Carmen Lezeth: I think that's really what was going on, because he thinks it's funny and he was being jousting, jousting.
18:34
Carmen Lezeth: We're not jousting, but like.
18:36
Rick Costa: Was he conservative?
18:37
Carmen Lezeth: Playful.
18:37
Carmen Lezeth: I don't think he knows what he is.
18:39
Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to be straight up on this.
18:40
Carmen Lezeth: It's one of these people who talk.
18:43
Carmen Lezeth: So Cynthia knows this, and I think, rick, you know this, I know a lot about, like I follow politics a lot, which is why it's so easy for me not to talk about it, because I follow it, I read it, I understand it, I can.
18:59
Carmen Lezeth: I'm probably better versed than most people when it comes to politics, and yet I realize I know nothing.
19:07
Carmen Lezeth: You see what I mean.
19:08
Carmen Lezeth: Like I know a lot about politics and even yet I realize I know little.
19:12
Carmen Lezeth: Andrea is also well versed, alden, so I like having these political conversations with people.
19:17
Carmen Lezeth: So he's one of these people who thinks that he knows stuff and he also, accidentally, as a lot of people do, are misogynistic in the way in which they're talking about the vice president.
19:32
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, like, and I don't know.
19:34
Carmen Lezeth: I think there's going to be kind of a time period where people have to start getting used to leaders being women, or you know what I'm saying, even something as simple as calling her by her first name and then calling all the men by their last names Obama and Bush and we don't call them by their first names, so things like that.
19:52
Carmen Lezeth: So I don't, he was trying to get me and I finally then like I I wasn't having that funny ism, but I wanted to go into something else.
20:01
Carmen Lezeth: Is it possible that there's different, like if you have friends at work, it's a different kind of friendship than the friendships maybe you even make online, versus the friendships you have in person or whatever.
20:13
Carmen Lezeth: Is that a possibility?
20:15
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: that's fair, yeah people you meet online you don't really know like personally, you don't know their mannerisms and things like that.
20:26
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I know, but I think rick is my friend.
20:29
Carmen Lezeth: I would say rick is a friend.
20:30
Carmen Lezeth: I mean not really, but just for the show, you know.
20:32
Carmen Lezeth: Know what I mean, just in topic.
20:35
Carmen Lezeth: No, but I would say Rick is a friend, you know.
20:39
Carmen Lezeth: So you just do Slurpee again.
20:43
Carmen Lezeth: He's like doing Slurpee on purpose.
20:46
Carmen Lezeth: You see what I'm saying.
20:49
Carmen Lezeth: Right, like I actually consider you now a friend.
20:52
Carmen Lezeth: We've been through enough, just talk enough.
20:54
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
20:57
Carmen Lezeth: I actually consider you now a friend.
20:57
Carmen Lezeth: We've been through enough, just talk enough.
20:58
Carmen Lezeth: And even though I've never met Rick in person, I think he's a friend.
21:00
Carmen Lezeth: And yet there are people I work with child.
21:03
Carmen Lezeth: If they, I wouldn't even, let me just say it.
21:09
Carmen Lezeth: They could call me day and night.
21:11
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine.
21:13
Carmen Lezeth: Don't care, test me on that night.
21:15
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine.
21:15
Carmen Lezeth: Don't care, test me on that shit.
21:16
Rick Costa: And just because you spend a lot of time with somebody does not mean they're your friend either.
21:19
Rick Costa: That's true.
21:22
Carmen Lezeth: Ooh, ooh, that's true, that's true.
21:25
Rick Costa: Because you have no choice, you have to work with them.
21:28
Carmen Lezeth: Do you think it makes it harder for you to work in the situations you've been in if you do have that boundary up or if you have friends?
21:36
Carmen Lezeth: So the reason why I have this strong boundary now is because I made the mistake of having a friend at work and then she ended up screwing me over.
21:48
Carmen Lezeth: This was years ago and she ended up backstabbing me and and I learned that lesson quick that was like the last time.
21:54
Carmen Lezeth: So she was saying one thing to me in my face and then, behind my back, she was trashing me and taking credit for stuff that I was doing.
22:02
Carmen Lezeth: And this was going on for like months and months and I didn't know until my boss at the time blew the fuck up about something I knew nothing about.
22:11
Carmen Lezeth: Wow, and then, even though we figured out what happened, way after the fact, after I'd already left the company Okay, like you know what I mean.
22:23
Carmen Lezeth: No, that's how bad it got, cause I was about to be fired anyways, they called me and apologized to me, the client, and wanted me to come back, and I was like, oh hell, no, you listen, because here's the thing you, as the leader, as the client, as the person in charge, you allowed the gossip and the bullshittery to continue, instead of coming up to me and asking me straight up, we could have cleaned that shit up right away, and you are not going to have me be in charge of your crap and then turn around and do something like that to me and think I'm going to come back and do that again.
22:58
Carmen Lezeth: I don't trust you and this is the problem with some of my clients.
23:01
Carmen Lezeth: They think that it's about them needing to trust me with their millions of dollars.
23:05
Carmen Lezeth: Honey, there is nobody on the planet who wouldn't trust me with their money.
23:08
Carmen Lezeth: There's nobody who would not trust me with their money Nobody.
23:11
Carmen Lezeth: People I don't know have asked me to to take care of their freaking money, because they know I don't care about money.
23:17
Carmen Lezeth: So when I go in for and meet with a client, my whole thing is like do I trust you?
23:21
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
23:23
Carmen Lezeth: Like, yeah, and here are the rules, if I'm gonna work for you, you don't know how many people I've interviewed with, talked with, whatever and they're like we'll just have you sign all the.
23:33
Carmen Lezeth: I don't sign checks, we'll just give you a credit.
23:36
Carmen Lezeth: I do not take credit cards from my clients.
23:38
Carmen Lezeth: No, I do not.
23:39
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, but I'm so busy, honey, if you don't have 10 minutes a week to sign your own checks or to work with me to look at what we're spending money on, we're not doing this.
23:50
Rick Costa: Yeah, you need to have some kind of idea of what's going on.
23:54
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but people are busy.
23:57
Carmen Lezeth: I love that word busy.
24:00
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: People are always busy.
24:03
Carmen Lezeth: Until somebody embezzles from them.
24:04
Carmen Lezeth: So people always think people that embezzle from them or people who steal from them are somehow random people, that it's like the boogeyman.
24:12
Carmen Lezeth: No, it's always the person you trust the most.
24:15
Carmen Lezeth: That's who embezzles from these rich people.
24:18
Carmen Lezeth: It's always the person who's their right-hand person or their business manager, their CPA, who's?
24:23
Carmen Lezeth: Don't worry about it, I'll sign the checks, I'll take care of everything.
24:27
Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, I got it, don't worry.
24:30
Carmen Lezeth: No, I have so many checks and balances in place and a lot of people don't want that.
24:35
Carmen Lezeth: They don't want like I can't sign.
24:38
Carmen Lezeth: I can authorize millions of dollars.
24:41
Carmen Lezeth: I can say I need to pay so and so a million dollars, whatever, 900 something dollars to secure whatever we need to secure, blah, blah, blah.
24:50
Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't get authorized until the other person who has the same as I do says it's OK, and he can't do it either.
24:57
Carmen Lezeth: He can initiate something, but then I have to offer it's a checks and balance.
25:02
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
25:02
Carmen Lezeth: So that way, neither one of us.
25:05
Carmen Lezeth: By the way, there's also a third party.
25:06
Carmen Lezeth: It's always like JP Morgan or Wells Fargo there's another party involved, right?
25:11
Carmen Lezeth: Who's actually doing the transaction.
25:18
Carmen Lezeth: So if I do something weird and I'm like no, it is for Cynthia Ruiz.
25:20
Carmen Lezeth: Trust me, deposit it into her account.
25:22
Carmen Lezeth: It's going to be a red flag, even if the other person authorizes it.
25:26
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
25:27
Rick Costa: Makes me think of some of those sci-fi shows I think they even did this on Stargate once where you have to have two different people with keys and you both have to do it at the same time yeah.
25:37
Carmen Lezeth: Look, I don't even think it's about having a lot of money.
25:39
Carmen Lezeth: It's just being smart about.
25:41
Carmen Lezeth: It's not even about trust, because I know people trust me completely.
25:46
Carmen Lezeth: For me, it's more about I need to have a sense that nothing went wrong.
25:53
Carmen Lezeth: And the only way you do that because I'm human, everybody makes mistakes.
25:57
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
25:58
Carmen Lezeth: So that's the other thing you want.
26:00
Carmen Lezeth: When you're dealing with anybody else's money or anybody else's livelihood and you're making decisions for them, you want somebody else to check you.
26:08
Carmen Lezeth: You want somebody else to be like Carmen, you know what.
26:12
Carmen Lezeth: And that's happened a couple of times where somebody was like Carmen, I don't think that's what you meant to do to that account.
26:18
Carmen Lezeth: That's the wrong account.
26:19
Carmen Lezeth: I was like oh my God, thank you, you know what I mean.
26:21
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah.
26:24
Rick Costa: And I?
26:25
Rick Costa: That's a big thing.
26:25
Rick Costa: To me is is like are we a team or not?
26:29
Rick Costa: Okay, Listen, I'm going to make mistakes, You're going to make mistakes.
26:32
Rick Costa: This is the thing that always gets.
26:34
Rick Costa: Like there's people that they love to point out.
26:36
Rick Costa: When I made a mistake, you did this and blah, blah, blah, blah.
26:39
Rick Costa: Or this really ticks me off.
26:41
Rick Costa: Bring up this.
26:42
Rick Costa: Okay, Can you see what's wrong with that?
26:45
Rick Costa: Well, obviously I would have not done it wrong if I knew what you're talking about, and then we'll wait until I finally figured it out.
26:52
Rick Costa: I'm like why didn't you just say I made a mistake?
26:54
Rick Costa: Oh, it's like that's you.
26:55
Rick Costa: Oh yeah.
26:56
Rick Costa: Meanwhile, Rick fixes everybody's dang mistakes and never says nothing.
27:01
Rick Costa: I just fix it and go on, because I got stuff to do.
27:04
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I ain't got time to sit there and humiliate you Come on oh, I love the one when they go up to you and they're like, oh, can you look this up to you?
27:15
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And they're like, oh, can you look this up?
27:16
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Tell me what's wrong with it?
27:17
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Well, I'm not the one who did it, this person did it.
27:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You might want to ask them, not me.
27:19
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's happened.
27:21
Carmen Lezeth: These are bad people, bad leaders, yep, oh yeah.
27:27
Carmen Lezeth: But were you going to say, cynthia, I cut you off accidentally?
27:30
Carmen Lezeth: No, I think people are confused by what it means to be a leader, right?
27:36
Carmen Lezeth: So nobody.
27:37
Carmen Lezeth: So this is what I try to tell my clients.
27:39
Carmen Lezeth: So this is actually the part of the job I do, but it's the hardest part of my job.
27:42
Carmen Lezeth: I tell my clients like nobody learns from being humiliated.
27:47
Carmen Lezeth: So if somebody makes a mistake, the last thing you should be doing is shoving it in their face every five seconds or testing them, like you can't test someone out of a mistake.
27:59
Carmen Lezeth: So if I make a mistake and Charlie hey, charlie, that's called Exactly.
28:04
Carmen Lezeth: I love that.
28:04
Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, but that's kind of that thing where you have to be someone who understands that it's better to nurture people when they make a mistake, lift people up when they're having a problem and walk them through and get them to the right frame of mind, to then have the conversation of how we might be able to do this a little bit differently in the future, because here's why this didn't work.
28:36
Carmen Lezeth: That's the part of my job I love when I do have an opportunity to take a moment and say how do we do this better.
28:43
Carmen Lezeth: How can I help you figure out how we can do this better?
28:46
Carmen Lezeth: That's how people learn and you know how I noticed.
28:48
Carmen Lezeth: Someone was like, oh, you're so good at your job?
28:51
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, because I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be humiliated by people doing exactly what you guys just said Testing my ass and shit.
28:59
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
29:00
Carmen Lezeth: Help them to help you Exactly, charlie.
29:04
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Exactly.
29:04
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Someone once said to me oh, always give them the poop sandwich, the what.
29:10
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I know it sounds gross, but you start off with good, then you give them the bad bed and then you end with the good.
29:16
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So you say to them you know you're doing a good job, but you didn't make a mistake on this, so let's fix it so that for the next time you know how to do it okay, but I don't understand the poop part wait I don't give them the good, you give them the shit and then you end with the good oh, we could come up with a better.
29:37
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if that's years ago well, I I also believe in the thing if you come to it as a person who also makes mistakes, like.
29:50
Carmen Lezeth: So I never say, cynthia, I want you to see the mistake you just made Because, okay, that's one way to handle it.
29:57
Carmen Lezeth: So now you've just humiliated.
29:59
Carmen Lezeth: First of all, cynthia already knows she made a mistake, right, because we're in this meeting now in front of people, right, and all you've done is exerted your pathetic power, right?
30:10
Carmen Lezeth: Pathetic power as a leader, right?
30:13
Carmen Lezeth: Instead, I always like to turn up first of all.
30:15
Carmen Lezeth: Why do we need to have a meeting?
30:17
Carmen Lezeth: We all know Cynthia made a mistake.
30:19
Carmen Lezeth: We all know Cynthia knows we don't need to now convene the entire office to now humiliate her even more.
30:27
Carmen Lezeth: What is the purpose of that?
30:29
Carmen Lezeth: And one of my clients consistently will say I just want to make sure everybody knows that they cannot make the mistake again.
30:36
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like you think that's what you teach in here.
30:41
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I had a boss like that.
30:42
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Really, any mistake any person did, they would address it to everyone and have a meeting and call that person out.
30:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's like you could just had a meeting with that person by themselves, because you don't know what else is making that mistake, this one.
31:03
Carmen Lezeth: That's about exerting pretend power, yeah, yeah.
31:06
Carmen Lezeth: So that's the stuff I call out my bosses on.
31:09
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like so did that make you feel good, cause that person's going to quit.
31:12
Carmen Lezeth: They're never going to give 100%, ever again.
31:15
Carmen Lezeth: They now resent you and I'm going to help them find a new job, because you just humiliated them for no reason whatsoever.
31:22
Carmen Lezeth: So, unless you want to keep them, you should go in and apologize.
31:25
Carmen Lezeth: And all my clients will be like I'm like, okay, I'm just giving you my best advice.
31:31
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just telling you what you just did was wrong.
31:33
Carmen Lezeth: Charlie just said it's to make others feel like shit to pump your own nuts up.
31:38
Carmen Lezeth: It's evil.
31:39
Carmen Lezeth: Yes, behavior.
31:40
Carmen Lezeth: It's the way Charlie says things.
31:43
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I'm saying it's like I love him, I love this.
31:47
Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, that's the part of the job that I think as much as I don't love what I do, like when I have to take my actual clients and sit them down and say, in a very kind way, that didn't work, that's, and now we need to fix it.
32:02
Carmen Lezeth: And here's how I think you need to fix it.
32:05
Carmen Lezeth: But most people learn not from humiliation I don't know anybody who works from being humiliated, or but I do think there's a difference, right, but I do think there's a difference, right.
32:14
Carmen Lezeth: So if Cynthia makes a mistake and we work through that mistake and then the mistake happens again, now we're talking about carelessness, right.
32:24
Carmen Lezeth: So that's our second time we sit down and try to have a conversation and try to come at it from a different place.
32:29
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, charlie is now saying assholes need to be called out.
32:33
Carmen Lezeth: That's my job.
32:34
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I don't really handle like.
32:36
Carmen Lezeth: I don't care about be called up.
32:37
Carmen Lezeth: That's my job.
32:37
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I don't really handle like I don't care what the money part, that's my job.
32:43
Carmen Lezeth: Um, and here's the thing Some people can handle it and some people cannot.
32:45
Carmen Lezeth: And then I'm like okay, because you already paid me for the month, so I'm happy to leave, like okay, I get paid up front.
32:51
Carmen Lezeth: Uh, but nine times out of 10, whenever I'm hired, people hire me to get rid of other people or to fix something.
32:57
Carmen Lezeth: It's usually them that needs to be fixed, not anything in the company?
33:02
Carmen Lezeth: No, it really is, I believe it.
33:03
Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
33:10
Rick Costa: So this thing this other thing I wanted to.
33:11
Rick Costa: Did you guys have anything else you wanted to say on that topic before we moved on to my next LinkedIn thing?
33:14
Rick Costa: I just think it's annoying that you realize how you're talking to me right now is going to really piss me off, and now I'm losing focus.
33:20
Rick Costa: Now I'm not going to be as productive because I'm sitting here fuming because you just talk to me like I'm an idiot.
33:26
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but you think that they're thinking about you.
33:28
Carmen Lezeth: They're not thinking about you at all, they're thinking only about themselves and how it makes them feel to talk down to you, right?
33:34
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, that's kind of the thing like, yes, from our point of view, we can see that what they're doing is stupid and only hurting you and not making.
33:44
Carmen Lezeth: It's not going to make you better or fix anything.
33:46
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
33:47
Carmen Lezeth: But that's not what's going on in their head and this is what I try to explain to the team usually is from his point of view.
33:56
Carmen Lezeth: He is taking care of 6,500 people across the country and in London and he needs to make sure they get paid and this just messed up the next payroll and he's angry.
34:12
Carmen Lezeth: His wife is divorcing him and he hasn't gotten another TV show, whatever.
34:18
Carmen Lezeth: It is like.
34:18
Carmen Lezeth: He's got all his own shit and he's now taking it all out on us because he thinks that it's okay to be an asshole to us.
34:26
Carmen Lezeth: It's like when you go out on a date and you you know your first date and you realize the date turns around and treats the waiter like a piece of shit.
34:33
Carmen Lezeth: It's the same dynamic that's happening is they're not thinking that people are equal or deserving of respect because they feel like they are better than that person, and that person is there to service them.
34:46
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: so I just tell team members.
34:48
Carmen Lezeth: You have to realize that and work around that or find a new job, like those really are the choices.
34:54
Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead, ahead.
34:54
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, rick.
35:00
Rick Costa: I saw a video that I'm convinced it was a skit.
35:02
Rick Costa: I'm like, okay, can we stop making skits, pretending like it's real?
35:06
Carmen Lezeth: Let's not talk about skits that I have not seen, because they're never good.
35:08
Carmen Lezeth: You're always talking about babies being born.
35:10
Carmen Lezeth: No, no, no.
35:13
Rick Costa: It was on an airplane and this guy was behind his possibly fiancée but he had a mask on so you couldn't tell and he was trying to talk to her and she was treating him like total crap.
35:27
Rick Costa: And he had a woman behind him with a sign saying will you marry me?
35:32
Rick Costa: He was going to ask her on the plane to marry her, him with a sign saying will you marry me?
35:34
Rick Costa: He was going to ask her on the plane to marry him, but then she was just berating him because she didn't know it was him and just treating him like total crap and he goes, you know what?
35:42
Rick Costa: Took the sign.
35:43
Rick Costa: She's like oh my God, honey, no, honey, no, we're done.
35:46
Rick Costa: I had no idea you treated people this way.
35:48
Rick Costa: Nope, we're done.
35:50
Carmen Lezeth: I don't even know if I believe that's really true.
35:53
Rick Costa: No, that's what I'm saying.
35:54
Rick Costa: I think it's a skit.
35:55
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, why are we wasting our time on a skit?
35:57
Rick Costa: All of a sudden we're talking about Hulk, Because I was proud of him for recognizing the crap Okay, but it's a skit Right.
36:07
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah there's a lot of those.
36:08
Carmen Lezeth: Here's the clue.
36:10
Carmen Lezeth: How you know it's a skit.
36:11
Carmen Lezeth: First of all, too good to be true that the camera angles are perfect.
36:15
Carmen Lezeth: Thank you, charlie.
36:16
Carmen Lezeth: If there's editing involved, it's usually a skit, because usually good shit like that you're not going to catch it.
36:26
Carmen Lezeth: If you do, it's like the corner of somebody's camera because they're trying to hide.
36:28
Carmen Lezeth: Do you know what I mean?
36:31
Carmen Lezeth: Like okay, charlie said good man, that's right, all right, I'm going like okay, charlie said good man, that's right, all right.
36:39
Carmen Lezeth: I'm gonna go on to my next subject.
36:39
Carmen Lezeth: Do you have any more skits with her?
36:40
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just mad, because last time he wasted our time with that other one.
36:42
Carmen Lezeth: That was also a skit what?
36:44
Rick Costa: the woman having a baby?
36:45
Carmen Lezeth: yeah that was a skit.
36:47
Carmen Lezeth: The baby was right there.
36:47
Carmen Lezeth: That popped out.
36:48
Carmen Lezeth: What was the other one?
36:49
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, it's the one you sent me.
36:50
Carmen Lezeth: That was annoying okay, you sent me one and I was like this is a skit, like don't waste my time oh, I forgot what it was, but anyway, yeah, move on.
36:58
Rick Costa: What's the next thing?
36:58
Carmen Lezeth: rick's gonna jump off, be like something's wrong with my internet.
37:03
Carmen Lezeth: Don't slurp, it's all bullshit.
37:12
Carmen Lezeth: Charlie said um, okay.
37:15
Carmen Lezeth: So on linkedin, which is part of this whole kind of thing, first I want to give a shout out to everybody on linkedin.
37:19
Carmen Lezeth: We have more followers again and I'm so appreciative.
37:23
Carmen Lezeth: Everyone on linkedin.
37:24
Carmen Lezeth: It's so amazing, because it's hard to get people on linkedin and you know what.
37:29
Carmen Lezeth: I think we're at 622 followers.
37:32
Carmen Lezeth: I know, I, I know it's not a lot to other people, to me it's like everything Anyways.
37:37
Carmen Lezeth: So somebody had posted.
37:39
Carmen Lezeth: We don't need to read the whole thing, I'll just tell you the gist of it.
37:41
Carmen Lezeth: They're going in for interview, they're interviewing for a job and they've gone into a series of interviews, so let's say, three or four interviews for a job and they're not offered the job.
37:53
Carmen Lezeth: Somebody else was offered the job.
37:55
Carmen Lezeth: They were told what?
37:56
Carmen Lezeth: Sorry, rick, we appreciate you coming in, but you didn't get the job.
38:00
Carmen Lezeth: Then a couple of weeks goes by and clearly the first candidate decided not to take the job, and so they come back to you, rick, and they say Rick, we want you, we'd love to offer you the position at the same amount we talked about before, with all the benefits.
38:16
Carmen Lezeth: So the question is, are you going to say yes to the job, knowing that you're their second choice and, more importantly, do you ask for more money?
38:27
Carmen Lezeth: That's what that whole thing was.
38:31
Carmen Lezeth: Look at, cynthia.
38:32
Carmen Lezeth: I've been in this position before, so it's interesting.
38:39
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Actually, one of my coworkers is in this position right now.
38:42
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, what happened?
38:44
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She actually works in the same department as me, so she came over before I did and she's one who actually helped me get the job.
38:52
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So she interviewed with them and they ended up offering her something and I guess something happened.
39:05
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She ended up not getting the job.
39:07
Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
39:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: They were going to go with someone else.
39:09
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Two months later they contact her again, asking her if she still wanted the job.
39:17
Carmen Lezeth: Charlie and Melanie both.
39:19
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just going to jump because Charlie said yes, more, and Melanie just said price goes up.
39:22
Carmen Lezeth: So they're both.
39:26
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So she did end up taking the job afterwards because she really wanted to get out where she was.
39:30
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But I don't know whether or not she got more money she didn't tell me, but it did happen to her.
39:38
Rick Costa: Interesting, that was interesting, rick I've had different things happen to me, where twice somebody said I had a job and then took it back.
39:50
Carmen Lezeth: Oh right, you told me this yeah.
39:52
Rick Costa: That was a bummer yeah.
39:54
Carmen Lezeth: No, cynthia wasn't here for that one.
39:56
Carmen Lezeth: Maybe you want to share that story again, yeah, One was a definite Went got interviewed.
40:01
Rick Costa: Blah blah, blah, filled out paperwork.
40:03
Rick Costa: You got the job starting Monday.
40:04
Rick Costa: Boom, got a call maybe two hours later and he said oh, you know what.
40:10
Rick Costa: Somebody else came in and we interviewed you, already told me how to job.
40:14
Rick Costa: Why are you interviewing somebody else and you know what?
40:16
Rick Costa: They already know all the systems and they're familiar with this and that, so we don't really have to train them.
40:20
Rick Costa: So I'm sorry, blah blah, and I'm like I got all excited, told everybody I got a job, I got a job, and now I look like an idiot.
40:27
Rick Costa: The other one was I didn't really officially have, but they're like oh yeah, it's in the bag, it's in the bag, you're definitely gonna get this job.
40:33
Rick Costa: And then they're the same thing.
40:35
Rick Costa: Somebody else came along and they knew everything already.
40:38
Rick Costa: Blah blah, blah, and I'm like that one ticked me off.
40:40
Rick Costa: That's what made me leave that job.
40:41
Rick Costa: So oh no, bye-bye.
40:42
Rick Costa: Y'all treat me like crap.
40:44
Carmen Lezeth: That's crazy I don't know when it happened to me.
40:47
Carmen Lezeth: I was the second choice, I just took the job.
40:49
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't negotiate for more money, it didn't even dawn on me, I was just so excited to get the job.
40:55
Carmen Lezeth: It was like part of that you for you, you're getting a new job, so it's already a raise if you don't have a job right, unless it's how bad?
41:04
Rick Costa: do you need it because you don't want to risk it yeah, yeah.
41:07
Carmen Lezeth: So I thought it was interesting.
41:08
Carmen Lezeth: But all the comments most people were saying like, yeah, they'd go back in and be like I'm happy to reconsider this now that it's two months later, two weeks later or whatever it is but I think now I need another five thousand dollars and I was like, really, really, I don't know if I would do cynthia, would you do that?
41:29
Carmen Lezeth: I'd ask for more money, oh yeah charlie just said I've signed contracts and then got the call we're gonna go in a different car.
41:36
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, but a contract.
41:38
Carmen Lezeth: Can't you sue them?
41:40
Rick Costa: I don't know unless can you put in the contract yeah, I'm gonna say, can you put in the contract at our discretion?
41:46
Rick Costa: We may blah, blah blah and dissolve this.
41:48
Rick Costa: I don't know.
41:49
Carmen Lezeth: And my contract with my clients, like if they like they have, we both have to give 30 days notice, but we can you know it's at will quit whatever they have to pick Hollywood Relationship with.
41:59
Rick Costa: Hollywood.
42:04
Carmen Lezeth: But you know, like I could quit tomorrow, but like the money I got for September is done, like I have it, it doesn't matter, I quit tomorrow.
42:13
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
42:13
Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, I, and then I have it in my contract, but I don't know, 30 days they could just go hire somebody else, it doesn't matter.
42:24
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I get monthly payments.
42:27
Carmen Lezeth: So I guess that's different.
42:28
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sure Charlie's talking about a contract screen.
42:31
Carmen Lezeth: You know, doing a.
42:32
Carmen Lezeth: That's a different ball game and that really sucks.
42:34
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know, I don't.
42:38
Carmen Lezeth: I've never been good at I'm really good at getting the job that I want or whatever when I was getting salary, but I was always horrible about getting a raise for myself.
42:48
Carmen Lezeth: So I always advocate for even now I advocate for all the cause.
42:53
Carmen Lezeth: That's the most important commodity any business owner has, it's people.
42:58
Carmen Lezeth: I don't care what your people do.
43:00
Carmen Lezeth: And a lot of people are confused by that.
43:03
Carmen Lezeth: They think the thing that they make is the commodity or the thing that they and I'm like right, but who makes the thing?
43:14
Carmen Lezeth: I had one client's like I should do this all by myself.
43:16
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like really Well, then you can solve all your problems.
43:18
Carmen Lezeth: Get rid of your 150 people that you have working for you.
43:22
Carmen Lezeth: Like he really thought that was the answer, like they should know.
43:26
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, the other thing I hate one of my clients always says it's just gonna take five minutes carmen.
43:31
Carmen Lezeth: All you have to do is call it five.
43:32
Carmen Lezeth: Nothing takes motherfucking five minutes, nothing that's another thing.
43:37
Rick Costa: One boss too.
43:38
Rick Costa: He's oh, and he actually did this.
43:39
Rick Costa: He goes.
43:39
Rick Costa: Okay, go online.
43:41
Rick Costa: Okay.
43:42
Rick Costa: Now let's time.
43:43
Rick Costa: It okay start, do one, do an entry.
43:46
Rick Costa: Okay, see, that only took this much time.
43:48
Rick Costa: Now you should be able to get this by the end of the day.
43:50
Rick Costa: That doesn't account for.
43:51
Rick Costa: The phone's gonna ring.
43:52
Rick Costa: I gotta pick it up.
43:52
Rick Costa: Emails are gonna come.
43:53
Rick Costa: I gotta do this no, I'm not a robot, I'm not a machine do you tell him that?
43:59
Carmen Lezeth: I know, okay, charlie said we're supposed to feel good about people we live with and work with.
44:04
Carmen Lezeth: Why else do we do it?
44:05
Carmen Lezeth: Look at I.
44:08
Carmen Lezeth: Everyone knows who's listening to this show, and I know you listen to this show, charlie.
44:11
Carmen Lezeth: I hate what I do.
44:12
Carmen Lezeth: All my clients know that I hate what I do.
44:15
Carmen Lezeth: They know and.
44:16
Carmen Lezeth: But I'm good at it and it brings an income.
44:19
Carmen Lezeth: You know, I'm in that weird situation where and I think most people don't do what they love I, I don't know.
44:26
Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, do you do what you love?
44:27
Carmen Lezeth: If it were up to you, you'd be creating cards, right, you'd be.
44:31
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what would you be doing if you weren't doing what you're doing now Because you have to.
44:37
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: There's a few different things, I mean Stripper.
44:44
Carmen Lezeth: Escort.
44:44
Carmen Lezeth: I totally see that Escort.
44:46
Carmen Lezeth: She caught me.
44:53
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry.
44:53
Carmen Lezeth: I told everyone your truth.
44:54
Carmen Lezeth: I told charlie just said nothing worse than chasing cash and having a shit job, which is what I think all three of us do, right, not you, but the three of us are doing it.
45:04
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But I would love to travel I like the three of us are doing it.
45:05
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Go ahead, Cynthia.
45:06
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I would love to travel.
45:07
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I like party planning.
45:07
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: The woman of leisure.
45:09
Carmen Lezeth: The woman of leisure but work-wise.
45:16
Carmen Lezeth: You would travel and do what I don't know.
45:21
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Party planning, make cards, I don't know.
45:23
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You would do party planning.
45:24
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh yeah, I like party planning, any kind of party, I don't know you did, would do party planning.
45:27
Rick Costa: Oh yeah, I like party planning Any kind of party.
45:28
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't know you did.
45:29
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, Rick.
45:30
Rick Costa: Any kind of party or a more specific type of party, any kind Strippers Are firemen at the party.
45:38
Rick Costa: Bachelorette parties.
45:43
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't know you did event planning.
45:46
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm not officially, not officially.
45:48
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Everyone always asks me to decorate and party plan them and stuff.
45:54
Rick Costa: What about a wedding planner?
45:55
Rick Costa: Or is that too much?
45:57
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I would love to do that.
45:58
Rick Costa: That is a lot, though that works, don't people make good money with that?
46:03
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, would you love to do that?
46:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I haven't actually done a wedding so I don't know if I would love to do that, because I know weddings are a lot.
46:14
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's a whole other ballgame than just like a regular birthday party or.
46:19
Carmen Lezeth: My wedding would be very simple, probably just said I do whatever I want, no matter what my job is.
46:25
Carmen Lezeth: That's the only way I can function.
46:27
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that's how I am too.
46:29
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not faking my job.
46:31
Carmen Lezeth: I just don't love what I do.
46:33
Carmen Lezeth: If it were up to me we all know what I'd be doing.
46:35
Carmen Lezeth: I'd be making movies.
46:37
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
46:38
Carmen Lezeth: I'd be in any way, shape or form.
46:39
Carmen Lezeth: I'd be producing them, I'd be in them, I'd be writing them, whatever.
46:45
Carmen Lezeth: Blah, blah, blah.
46:45
Carmen Lezeth: I'd be all over it.
46:46
Carmen Lezeth: I love this town.
46:48
Carmen Lezeth: I love it.
46:48
Carmen Lezeth: I'd be on stage.
46:50
Carmen Lezeth: Actually, if I could do whatever I want to do, I would want to be on stage like theater.
46:54
Carmen Lezeth: That would be my real love All right, Charlie, Love you too.
46:59
Rick Costa: Bye.
46:59
Carmen Lezeth: Charlie Bye, he's so cute.
47:08
Rick Costa: It's funny because I like to listen to a lot of podcasts and stuff and a lot of them are actually actors and so many of them say, if you only did one thing and almost I would say at least 75% of them will say theater.
47:17
Carmen Lezeth: Do you know?
47:17
Carmen Lezeth: Why Do you want me to tell you?
47:19
Carmen Lezeth: Why?
47:19
Carmen Lezeth: Tell us why.
47:20
Carmen Lezeth: I'll tell you why.
47:21
Carmen Lezeth: Because the thing about look it, television acting and film acting is very different from theater acting.
47:30
Carmen Lezeth: Now, one of my favorite acting coaches of all time, howard Fine, who I think is amazing, and everyone should read his book, even if you're not an actor, because it talks about a lot of life skills.
47:42
Carmen Lezeth: That's all I'll say on that.
47:43
Carmen Lezeth: He would disagree with what I'm about to say.
47:46
Carmen Lezeth: But from my perspective, as a performer who danced and performed as a kid and loved being on stage, the difference is simply this there's a live audience and it's one take.
48:00
Carmen Lezeth: So you rehearse, you rehearse, you rehearse, you learn the material, you do the background, you understand the character, you really work with it, and then you go out and you do the show and whatever happens a cell phone ring, somebody screams or whatever, a light isn't working or a sound goes you have to go with it, you have to be on it.
48:21
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
48:23
Carmen Lezeth: Film acting and television acting has to do with cameras.
48:26
Carmen Lezeth: There's lots of retakes, so the next time you're watching a movie or watching television or even a commercial, you can see the different angles that a camera has to, that you can see it on screen, all the different angles, right?
48:40
Carmen Lezeth: Those actors have to do those scenes over and over again.
48:43
Carmen Lezeth: And let me tell you the reason why.
48:46
Carmen Lezeth: I will always say that I'm a performer and I have a hard time saying I'm an actor.
48:51
Carmen Lezeth: I am an actor but I don't like doing 1 million retakes over and over again for different cameras.
48:58
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And they're never in order right.
49:00
Carmen Lezeth: Never.
49:00
Carmen Lezeth: So the story is exactly.
49:02
Carmen Lezeth: That's the other thing.
49:02
Carmen Lezeth: If you're filming a movie and it's especially if it's in one location, like in another state or something, you're going to film all the scenes that happen in that state, and they're not from beginning to end.
49:13
Carmen Lezeth: They might happen at different times during the story.
49:17
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
49:17
Carmen Lezeth: So that doesn't bother me as much, because you do film a scene at a time, right.
49:23
Carmen Lezeth: So you'll film a moment of us having dinner together and having a conversation.
49:28
Carmen Lezeth: The problem is we're going to have that conversation at least three times, because three times they're going to have to do one overall shot of all three of us talking.
49:37
Carmen Lezeth: Then they're going to have to do a close up of Cynthia.
49:39
Carmen Lezeth: So again, then, rick, they have to do different camera shots and then they edit all that together.
49:45
Carmen Lezeth: Now, it's magical when you see it all done, and I actually love being on set, but I am.
49:54
Carmen Lezeth: I really I had to come to Jesus moment.
49:58
Carmen Lezeth: I did.
49:58
Carmen Lezeth: I had to come to it because I had to realize for myself I do not love this part.
50:03
Carmen Lezeth: I don't love this part Now, big time.
50:06
Carmen Lezeth: Actors don't sit there and do the dinner scene with everybody.
50:11
Carmen Lezeth: They have a stand in, right.
50:13
Carmen Lezeth: So if Brad Pitt is doing a part or whatever, or Viola Davis is at the dinner table with the three of us, she's not going to sit while they're doing my shot, your shot, rick's shot, whatever They'll have a stand in, and it's a different bogus.
50:26
Carmen Lezeth: She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need.
50:27
Carmen Lezeth: Have a stand-in, and it's a different bogus.
50:28
Carmen Lezeth: She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need.
50:31
Carmen Lezeth: But then they bring somebody else.
50:32
Carmen Lezeth: That's a little bit different, because that's more about coming in and doing that one moment.
50:36
Carmen Lezeth: So I know a lot of theater.
50:39
Carmen Lezeth: A lot of actors will say that they think theater is like this higher echelon.
50:43
Carmen Lezeth: I don't believe that's true, but I actually think for me, film and television acting is so much harder and I revere like really revere people first of all who do both, but also people who are just stage actors.
50:58
Carmen Lezeth: Like theater is amazing, I just love it.
51:01
Rick Costa: But television, because you have a live audience in theater, that the audience you feed off of their energy, and that's like a whole different thing too, because with the studio so television.
51:12
Carmen Lezeth: Television has a live audience if you watch a lot of not all the comedies or whatever they do, but they do retakes and retakes.
51:18
Carmen Lezeth: And yeah, there is something about feeding off of an audience.
51:20
Carmen Lezeth: But that can work against you too, because if the audience is, dead, you suck sometimes you'll do it before.
51:28
Carmen Lezeth: It's not even if you suck, I mean if you're coming to a certain play, yeah, I mean, yeah, I could just suck whatever.
51:34
Carmen Lezeth: But also sometimes the audience just, you know they're not gonna laugh or clap, or you know, like, I mean one of the plays I did I'll never forget like, like, like we had night after night after night where people were laughing at the jokes and whatever, and I none of the parts I did were funny, none of the parts.
51:53
Carmen Lezeth: I played five different characters, like we all had many characters and they were.
51:59
Carmen Lezeth: Some of them were like two lines here, three lines there, but then I had a huge monologue at the end and my whole thing was really my characters were all very serious in different ways, right, cause I played like a housekeeper.
52:11
Carmen Lezeth: I played, you know, like I played really hard people who are having a tough time in life, but the other people were getting laughs and they're so funny and they just had these great one lines, whatever.
52:22
Carmen Lezeth: And one night, like the audience, cause you could hear it backstage, cause you're waiting to go on You're like, is anybody out there, remember?
52:30
Carmen Lezeth: Like you'd peek through the thing to see because there'd be no, like you would hear nothing, and you're like, and that does a psychological thing.
52:41
Carmen Lezeth: And then what happened was I came out and I said something.
52:44
Carmen Lezeth: They were like because it wasn't supposed to be funny.
52:47
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you know what, I just got to chill because I remembered that, like it was the weirdest thing.
52:52
Carmen Lezeth: So you just but it is that love of what?
52:56
Carmen Lezeth: Because you don't know what the audience is going to do.
52:59
Carmen Lezeth: And, more importantly, your partners, like we had, we had, I think, like 10 people on this in this play called Nickel and Dimed and people could be in a bad mood, fighting with the husband, whatever, you know what I mean Like you bring all that and then you got to try to turn that off and you know, I remember somebody.
53:14
Carmen Lezeth: Like you know you forget your wig or something, or I had.
53:19
Carmen Lezeth: So one of the things I had to do at the end and this happened the last performance of the entire show, the last performance.
53:26
Carmen Lezeth: So I ended the whole show with a monologue that was pretty intense and I had to wear a.
53:34
Carmen Lezeth: I wore a it's like black, like a gum thing, so that it looks like didn't have a tooth okay it's like a, it's a black thing, it's like gum or something.
53:43
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what it is.
53:44
Carmen Lezeth: I forget what, what it's called, but it's a black thing.
53:45
Carmen Lezeth: So it looks like you're missing a tooth or whatever.
53:47
Carmen Lezeth: And that thing was all over and it messes with you.
53:55
Carmen Lezeth: And I remember finishing the play and we got a standing ovation.
53:58
Carmen Lezeth: We all whatever it was the last play all of our friends were there.
54:01
Carmen Lezeth: It was great.
54:01
Carmen Lezeth: And I remember going up to the director, richard Kiriwoy, and I was like I can't believe I fucked up.
54:06
Carmen Lezeth: He's like what are you talking about?
54:07
Carmen Lezeth: And I was like my tooth thing was all over.
54:09
Carmen Lezeth: He's like Carmen, you were fine, don't worry.
54:11
Carmen Lezeth: But I remember being like that's how I closed the entire play, the show Like I didn't fuck it up.
54:18
Carmen Lezeth: But you just never know what's going to happen.
54:20
Carmen Lezeth: I love this town.
54:21
Carmen Lezeth: I really do.
54:34
Rick Costa: I but yeah, touching on another thing we mentioned this kind of dude to do with the stand-in thing.
54:36
Rick Costa: So they just made another, the crow movie, which I heard.
54:37
Rick Costa: I don't know what the crow is, uh, it's a cult classic.
54:39
Rick Costa: Yeah, bruce lee's son, yeah, was in this.
54:40
Rick Costa: It's like a.
54:40
Rick Costa: It's like a based on a comic anyway, comic book anyway.
54:43
Rick Costa: So they made a new one and they said it was really bad, whatever.
54:46
Rick Costa: So I, so I was like, oh, they said it was bad Garbage.
54:49
Rick Costa: Almost everybody said it was garbage, but anyway.
54:51
Rick Costa: So I got nostalgic because I remember the first one.
54:53
Rick Costa: I remember that was really great.
54:54
Rick Costa: But then I also remember how sad it was because he got killed by accident, he got killed right.
54:58
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, that's when he got killed, okay.
55:08
Rick Costa: Yeah, during the end of the movie he was alive.
55:10
Rick Costa: Because they don't understand.
55:12
Rick Costa: As long as you're in that place, you might as well film everything that you're going to do in that place all at one shot, even if it's at middle and beginning.
55:20
Rick Costa: That's why I think people got thrown off.
55:22
Rick Costa: But then also they were like but there were other scenes where they just used to stand in and it was really dark so you couldn't really see his face or had him running from behind.
55:31
Rick Costa: You couldn't see from behind.
55:32
Rick Costa: So I was like you got to do what you got to do, but it was very interesting.
55:35
Carmen Lezeth: I think it's funny because I forget that people don't know how movies and television are made.
55:39
Carmen Lezeth: You just watch it, and I don't mean that in a condescending way.
55:42
Carmen Lezeth: It's just because we're in this town and we know exactly why it works away.
55:46
Carmen Lezeth: It's also just cost effective.
55:48
Carmen Lezeth: You're not going to fly to Boston and film a scene of my neighborhood where I grew up and bring the whole cast out there and then bring them, you know, up to Vermont, because that's where I went to school.
56:02
Carmen Lezeth: So that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do.
56:04
Carmen Lezeth: And then, oh, let's go back to California, Cause that.
56:06
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, so that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do.
56:07
Carmen Lezeth: And then, oh, let's go back to California, Cause that.
56:08
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, but wait, now we have to do the ending of the film when she goes back to the funeral.
56:12
Carmen Lezeth: So bring them all back to Boston.
56:15
Carmen Lezeth: So what you do is you film every single scene you have to do while you're in Boston.
56:20
Carmen Lezeth: You do it then and then and that's how, that's how you, you figure that whole thing out, and it's fascinating.
56:26
Carmen Lezeth: Let me tell you the thing about if you guys can ever go on set to a movie that's in your neighborhood.
56:31
Carmen Lezeth: It's hard, you can't really go on set, but if you can ever play like an extra whatever, I would encourage everyone to do it.
56:36
Carmen Lezeth: It's a great experience because it gives you a different appreciation of film.
56:40
Carmen Lezeth: It's such a collaborative art form and the irony is you'll even start to appreciate when movies suck because you'll realize oh okay, not a lot of connection with the crew, you know what I mean.
56:54
Carmen Lezeth: You can just start I'm not saying all that's true but you can start to understand that it's not just one person.
56:58
Rick Costa: You can try to blame one person, but that's not how it works, although the director will always take responsibility if they're a good director but, yeah, yeah that's funny, because people watch movies and in your mind you're watching and you're like this happened and that happened and that happened, but that's not necessarily how they filmed it at all they take all the pieces from wherever they need to take it, and then the editor, who is the most, I think, important person in the film.
57:24
Rick Costa: Sorry, directors, yeah they can make it great.
57:28
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, look it, there's no doubt directors watch over the editors too.
57:32
Carmen Lezeth: So I don't want to diss directors, but I'm just saying a really great editor or a really bad editor Could be make or break.
57:42
Carmen Lezeth: Also, music.
57:43
Carmen Lezeth: I've decided if you ain't got good music, yeah, I think it was John Williams.
57:48
Carmen Lezeth: You guys know who John Williams is.
57:50
Carmen Lezeth: Of course you do John Williams.
57:52
Carmen Lezeth: Of course you do Every single movie that Steven Spielberg has ever done Star Wars, he's, I think he's.
57:58
Carmen Lezeth: John Williams has done every of one of those scores, indiana Jones, all of that, all the good ones, like all that music, creating that music for film.
58:12
Carmen Lezeth: It's just such.
58:13
Carmen Lezeth: Try to watch a movie without music.
58:14
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, interesting, different feeling.
58:18
Rick Costa: People take it for granted, but it does make a big difference.
58:21
Rick Costa: It messes with your emotions and you know where it really is important.
58:24
Rick Costa: I know you don't watch this kind of stuff, but it really is important.
58:27
Rick Costa: Horror movies, because that music sets the suspense big time yeah, I don't watch horror movies.
58:36
Rick Costa: I know I just watched the Deliverance on Netflix because it's like number one.
58:40
Rick Costa: A lot of people talk about it what's the?
58:43
Rick Costa: Deliverance it's like the black version of the Exorcist it's supposedly based on a true story.
58:49
Rick Costa: Supposedly yeah, yeah, but Glenn Close was in it and she did her thing.
58:56
Rick Costa: At her age I believed she was who she was.
58:59
Rick Costa: I was like wow.
59:00
Carmen Lezeth: So Cynthia hasn't seen it yet, though no.
59:03
Rick Costa: Yeah, that's why I'm not saying a whole lot.
59:03
Rick Costa: You didn't say nothing.
59:04
Rick Costa: Yeah, that's why I'm not saying a whole lot, you're not saying nothing.
59:05
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, yeah, I don't know, because last time you spilled all the beans.
59:10
Rick Costa: It's been out so long, I'm like listen, it didn't last that long, come on.
59:15
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm not a horror film person, so it's a tough one for me, but I know I can't.
59:22
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, going back to Chicago Fire, they show some leg cutting open and I'm like, yeah, I'm a wuss, I have no.
59:34
Rick Costa: That's why I don't do the Saw movies.
59:36
Rick Costa: I don't do none of that.
59:37
Carmen Lezeth: What is Saw these all horror movies?
59:41
Rick Costa: The guy with the mask and the tricycle.
59:43
Rick Costa: No, we don't do that.
59:44
Carmen Lezeth: I don't even know what that is.
59:46
Rick Costa: No, you have to cut your arm off the stage or something like that.
59:50
Carmen Lezeth: Has Cynthia watched the Saw?
59:52
Rick Costa: Looks like she has.
59:55
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's why I said you would not like it, Carmen, at all.
59:58
Carmen Lezeth: Look, I will tell you the only to me and I know you guys are going to be like please.
1:00:03
Carmen Lezeth: The only horror film I've ever sat through and it was only because it was nominated for an Oscar was Silence of the Lambs, and I know that is not horror to you guys, but it was psychologically painful.
1:00:16
Carmen Lezeth: It won, actually, right, jodie Foster won.
1:00:19
Carmen Lezeth: Huh, that's a good movie.
1:00:21
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, the Silence of the Lambs, that's not horror, right.
1:00:24
Carmen Lezeth: It's psychological thriller, right, kind of horror.
1:00:27
Rick Costa: What about the Shining?
1:00:28
Rick Costa: Didn't you see the Shining?
1:00:29
Rick Costa: Well, I studied the Shining For school.
1:00:31
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I mean I wasn't around.
1:00:34
Carmen Lezeth: I mean that came out in like 1970 or something right.
1:00:38
Rick Costa: That's a pretty famous one though.
1:00:47
Carmen Lezeth: Because, I studied Stanley Kubrick, but I, okay, that's what I'm saying, but those are psychologically crazy, okay, wait.
1:00:52
Carmen Lezeth: So silence in the lands.
1:00:53
Carmen Lezeth: Let me just tell you I had to wait until it was nominated and then I had I think it was mia, I forget who it was told me every single thing that was happening in the, that was going to happen, the movie.
1:01:03
Carmen Lezeth: And then we went to the movie and before anything was going to happen, she told me so I already knew, so I like watched it and it was like, oh, okay okay, so it didn't bother you as much, because you know it bothered me, but I was because it's creepy, but it didn't bother me in the way.
1:01:16
Carmen Lezeth: I would have never, I would have left right at the.
1:01:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, that was crazy yeah, she would not be able to handle size is a very gruesome movie, but it the point of the movie is this man created this whole I don't even know what to call it but this whole game where these people he kidnaps, these people who have taken life for granted, and trying to teach them a lesson about life.
1:01:44
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But it's very gruesome because if they don't learn the whole situation, their head gets cut off or they blow up or something very gruesome happens to them, but don't they have to also self-mutilate sometimes?
1:01:58
Rick Costa: That's the part I'm like.
1:01:59
Rick Costa: I don't know, sometimes yeah, If somebody else hits you or stabs you, that's one thing, but myself Doing it to me myself.
1:02:05
Carmen Lezeth: Nah, I don't even understand, like the.
1:02:07
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
1:02:08
Carmen Lezeth: It's just weird.
1:02:09
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
1:02:09
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know why you guys like it.
1:02:11
Carmen Lezeth: That's what I find weird that I don't like the depravity of who you believe is like beyond my understanding.
1:02:19
Carmen Lezeth: No, I don't.
1:02:19
Carmen Lezeth: I you know what I have never.
1:02:21
Carmen Lezeth: I remember when I was growing up.
1:02:22
Carmen Lezeth: The big movie was friday the 13th oh yeah and I was like, yeah, no, I'm see that I'm not going to see it.
1:02:27
Carmen Lezeth: And I didn't.
1:02:28
Carmen Lezeth: I've never seen it and I know now that's like the joke of a movie to watch because it's so cheesy.
1:02:32
Carmen Lezeth: But I'm one of those people that I have nightmares if I see something bad or feel something bad, and so I choose not to consume that stuff.
1:02:42
Carmen Lezeth: And it's not because I don't think I'm overly sensitive, I just think it just is a deep, dark thing that I don't want to deal with.
1:02:50
Rick Costa: Yeah, that makes sense.
1:02:51
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, if you have nightmares, no, when you guys are just evil so you can deal with it.
1:02:56
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
1:02:56
Carmen Lezeth: That's what I'm trying to share.
1:02:58
Rick Costa: My mom.
1:02:59
Carmen Lezeth: I'll never forget.
1:03:04
Rick Costa: When I was a kid I don't know exactly how old I was, but I was pretty young there was a vampire movie.
1:03:07
Rick Costa: My mom was like I was like, oh, look at this vampire.
1:03:09
Rick Costa: Oh, that's cool.
1:03:10
Rick Costa: Whatever, that's scary.
1:03:11
Rick Costa: You're going to have nightmares.
1:03:12
Rick Costa: I was like, no, come on, I'm not a baby.
1:03:14
Rick Costa: I'm not a baby.
1:03:14
Rick Costa: That night I had a nightmare that my dad was a vampire trying to kill me, and my mother and I never forgot it?
1:03:22
Rick Costa: No, I think it was more of a traditional one.
1:03:24
Rick Costa: I can't remember exactly, but no.
1:03:28
Carmen Lezeth: All right, Well, on that note, I had one hour 15 minutes.
1:03:31
Rick Costa: All about the scares.
1:03:34
Carmen Lezeth: How did we get here?
1:03:35
Carmen Lezeth: It was supposed to be a full-on business conversation.
1:03:38
Carmen Lezeth: It was wasn't it.
1:03:39
Carmen Lezeth: It was, and we talked about Hollywood business though, too, Charlie Charming and everything that was good.
1:03:45
Rick Costa: Yeah, I thought he was going to come up for the minute.
1:03:48
Carmen Lezeth: Let me just say thank you for you two as well, because I haven't taken a moment to thank you both, because you've been consistent in being on the show.
1:03:54
Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate your support as we go through this process.
1:03:58
Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to have an ending next week.
1:04:00
Carmen Lezeth: I don't have it today but, rick, make sure you go and watch.
1:04:04
Rick Costa: I know I can't wait to watch it.
1:04:07
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, cynthia, it was good.
1:04:08
Carmen Lezeth: Right, it was good.
1:04:09
Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
1:04:10
Carmen Lezeth: Anyway, you'll let me know, rick, what you think.
1:04:12
Carmen Lezeth: Anyways, everyone, thank you.
1:04:13
Carmen Lezeth: Please check out allaboutthejoycom if you want to buy some swag.
1:04:17
Carmen Lezeth: We'd really appreciate it.
1:04:18
Carmen Lezeth: Any money that we make, which is like $1 or $2 for mugs and hats and t-shirts just goes right back into the show, paying for software, paying for all the little things that we're doing to try to get the show going.
1:04:31
Carmen Lezeth: So we'd appreciate that.
1:04:32
Carmen Lezeth: So we'll see you all next week and thank you and remember, it really is all about the joy.
1:04:37
Carmen Lezeth: Bye everyone.
1:04:38
Carmen Lezeth: Good night, thanks for stopping by.
1:04:42
Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy.
1:04:43
Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks, have a sweet day.