Latest / The You Project / #1959 Aiming For Average - Kelly Smith

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#1959 Aiming For Average - Kelly Smith · The You Project

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: I get a team. It's John bos Craig Athney, har
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook. We'll start with Tip, then we'll go
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to the actual star of the show, Kelly Smith, who
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: is rapidly climbing the fucking typ ladder. Tiff you and
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I better watch our.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Backs and we're not going to have a spot here anymore.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah the hell. It's like I was walking down Hampton
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Street and people were like, who's that bloke with Kelly Smith?
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what, what? How are you? Cook?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: I'm good, I'm good.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: What's going on? Tell we love an update on your body,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: because it's either brand new and bursting out of its
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: skin and full of fucking hormones and muscles and shit,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: or it's fucked and you're getting treatment from nine different people.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: That's the current status.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Option b today, Option Bree. I've got a shooting pain
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: down and I'm in pain. It's not fun.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a little bit like a race horse.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: That's what my boxing coach used to call me, the thoroughbread.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're pretty. I mean like, I'm like a
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: fucking draft horse, right, I'm just a plunker probably in
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of ways, just a plunker, slow and steady,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: no skill, no speed, fucking no talent, but you're like
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the fucking ready made you know, would be Olympian like
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: four weeks notice, you'd be good for the Olympic Games.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: You know. For me, I'll be good for the like that.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You know that room with the balls that ika, that's me.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: The room with the balls that I care?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: What is that when the kids play?
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: I don't know that room?
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Hell do you know that room?
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah? I think it's it was before the days of
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: O H and s though, because the kids would like
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: fall to the bottom and you know there's all sorts
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: of manky shit on the floor there.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. I never thought about that. I never
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: thought about that. Kelly Smith, welcome back to the project.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: That's you. How are you?
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I'm very well. Thanks thanks for having me again.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Thanks for ben had. What's going on over at you Central?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Did you work today?
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I went to a conference today all about fundraising and
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: getting good people to donate their good money to good causes,
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: and it was quite interesting.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I don't mind a good conference. I'm going to want
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: tomorrow tomorrow morning, but I'm speaking and then I'm leaving.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: It's not exactly the same shout out to the people
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: from Sidekick who are graciously having me present at their conference.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Have we ever told our listeners what you do? I
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: don't know that we have, have we? And are we
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: allowed to?
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah? I've mentioned before that I work in disability. I
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: have done for twenty three years. So I started off
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: working as a support worker and then studied a whole
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: range of different things and now I'm marketing manager. So
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: that involves doing a whole range of promotional advertising, supporting, fundraising, supporting,
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: getting all of the messaging out there so.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: That people know who we are.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, is there such a thing as what would
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I call it, like from the public's perception, like charity
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: fatigue where you know, I probably get asked three or
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: four times a week for money for something, which is cool,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: but yeah, it must be hard for you. You work
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: at a special needs school, am I right?
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: So I work for a place that is for adults
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: with intellectual disability called Baby House, And there's definitely a
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: thing called donor fatigue.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: So we're quite aware.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: That, you know, we will be hitting up the same
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: audience to support us on a regular basis. So how
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: do we move ourselves out into a wider audience, and
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: that's what today was about. So there were people there
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: that worked for indigenous charities for instance, and so it's
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: kind of how do you tap into an audience that
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: might not have any connection to you at all and
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: make them, you know, want to open their wallets and
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: support you. So it's yeah, it can be tricky. It's
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: very rewarding when we do see the results and then
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: see you know, the people that we support benefit from that,
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: and that's you know, that's why I said in another
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: episode that I feel really honored to do what I do, Like,
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I just love it. It can be hard, but it's great,
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: it's worthwhile in the end.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Well, that's work with purpose, isn't it? Like absolutely the
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: insection of a job and making a few bucks and
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I would guess probably not going to become a millionaire
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: doing that anytime soon, But that's not why you're doing it, right, No, No.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Like I left for a little while to work somewhere
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: else and it just had no soul to it. Like,
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: you know, nothing against working in different areas that do
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: you know, make a ton of cash, but this just
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: really aligns with my values and who I am a person.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Well, good for you. I think that's about ninety percent
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: of it when it comes to work, is finding the
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: thing that you genuinely care about, are passionate about, and
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: then I reckon the next important bit is being in
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: an environment or culture a group where you like to be. Like,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: even if you're doing meaningful work, you kind of want
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: to be around people you like. Otherwise it's a tough
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: day at the office.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, and yeah, we're very lucky with that. So there's
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: lots of people that have been there. I mean, the
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: organization's been around for seventy five years next year, and
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: we've got people that have been there for thirty thirty
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: five years, people that have been there from almost the
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: beginning and still involved even though they're retired. So there's
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: some really good, passionate human beings that are part of us,
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: which is great.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: When was the last time you had a job, TIF
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: like a job job where you went to work and
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you were an employee.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: A decade two thousand and fifteen, what was that job?
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I was in sales with Impact Digital to digital print company.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: They were a great company too, they were great people. Really, Yeah,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: why'd you leave to do my own thing? To be pt?
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Do you give this whole thing a thing I'd been like,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I didn't even plan it. I just I was doing
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: it on the side, and then I got busy and
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: thought I kind of owed it to the situation to
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: give it a crack of a sales background. I was like, well,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: you're pretty shit salesperson if I can't make it work.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Well, that's true. So you were thirty two, right, give
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: or take. Yeah, yeah, So how old were you when
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you started working?
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I would have been I was probably fourteen, to be honest.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I remember my first job, but my first full time
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: job at seventeen, right.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: So that's fifteen years at the grindstone or fifteen years
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: on the front line of being an employee. That's good,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: it's good.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, on myyards.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You've done. You've done your time now, Kelly. The reason
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: you are here is because you are the asker of
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: questions and we get really nice feedback about you. And
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not just saying that. I would say nothing if
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that weren't the case, but it is the case. We
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: get nice feedback. People like you. They like your insightful questions,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and you're a little bit somewhat atypical thinking you're not
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: asking the same the same questions that I guess asked endlessly. So, yeah,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you're back. What are we talking about. What's
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: at the top of your agenda today?
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Well, the past couple of days, the episodes I've really
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: got a lot out of, so the episodes we've passed
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: you with Bobby, and then this morning there was one
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: with doctor Sam and there were kind of the concepts
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: of don't wait until you're ready to do something, give
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: it a crack, don't wait until you think that you're
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: going to be perfect, until you're going to be the
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: best at it, just have it, go at it. And
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: there was one the other day where Bobby was talking
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: about public speaking, and it was just go in and
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: aim for a four instead of the ten. And if
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: you can get by with giving the four, then rather
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: than letting that kind of dissuade you from giving it
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: another crack, learn from it, grow from it, and aim
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: for the ten. And I was thinking, well, how does
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: this kind of relate to people who and I put
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: myself in this category, so it's like scared of things,
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: unsure about themselves or the situation, maybe just lazy, full
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: of excuses.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Or even the opposite end of that.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: Spectrum where they might be incredibly high achievers and are
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: scared of failing, so they might not venture out into
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: giving to go. And I was just really like just
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: wanting to really unpack that to see kind of what's
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: that spectrum of going from being completely scared give it
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: a go. I'm such a high achievement that i never
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: want to fail, so I'm not going to try.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: That's a really interesting question, right because I think a
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: lot of us who are good at something. I'm not
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: saying I'm good at anything. But so what came to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: mind when you were asking this to feel free to
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: jump in tonight? What was me when I started at
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Monash so doing my degree right, my doctorate and being
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: someone who outside of that world was quite, you know,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: relatively competent and confident and somewhat successful and somewhat respected,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, I'm in this environment
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: where I'm none of that, and it doesn't matter who
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I am or what I do outside of there. Nobody
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: neither should they have, But not one person when I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: arrived at Brain Park, which is the neuroscience neurocyc Lab
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: of Monash University. When I arrived and I sat in
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: my little cubicle up in the back far left fucking
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: corner like someone's granddad who was pissed and lost. Right,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: not one person went, oh god, Craig Harpers joined the team,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: and neither should they. Right. But it's like you go
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: from you know where. Sometimes I go somewhere and three
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: people I don't know stop me and say hello and
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: love your shit and thanks for that, you know. Obviously
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: not all the time, but pretty regularly I get, you
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: know whatever, and yeah, So now I'm in an environment
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: where I'm probably the dumbest, I'm probably the least academic,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: and when I say dumbest, I'm talking in terms of
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: what's required in that environment, the least competent, definitely the oldest,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: older than pretty much all of the staff, the faculty,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: the professors. Yeah, and I literally in the first week
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: was thinking, call, how do I get out of this
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: without looking like a fucking pussy? You know? Or so
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: there was that, and I will say even now though
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I still feel and We've spoken about this many times,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: but you know, not so much imposter syndrome, but just
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: inadequate and less than But that kind of almost inferiority
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: complex for me weirdly, I like because it keeps me grounded.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I don't get ahead of myself. I realize that in
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: some rooms I'm pretty good and in other rooms I'm hopeless,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: well not hopeless, but somewhat inept compared to who else
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: is in the room. So I think that's a real
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: that can be a pitfall for people who are somewhat
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: successful or competent or confident in a certain lane. They
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: don't want to get in another lane because they're going
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: to look silly. But over in this lane, in this
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: fish bowl, I'm pretty respected and you know, kind of competent.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So I definitely think, I mean, if that's what you
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: want to do, like I am, I'm happy to go
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: into the room where I know I'm the the most
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: inadequate in that room because I can only get better.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And then back to your you're you know when Bobby
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: was talking about doname for a ten, aim for a four, Well,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: when you think about, let's say, in relation to public speaking,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: and really this could relate to any skill or any
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: any kind of thing that you want to do publicly
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: or not publicly. You know, it could be play the guitar,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: it could be run a marathon, well, if you're not
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: currently playing the guitar, or you don't know how to,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: or you're not currently running, or you're not currently a
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: public speaker, four out of ten would be a fucking
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: great result, because I'm thinking right now, you're probably close
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to a zero or a one, and so, yeah, I
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: totally agree with him, and I think that's wise, counsel,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: because I mean, we all have to be prepared to
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: start as a metaphoric zero, or as I often say,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: a metaphoric white belt. And the only way you become
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: a one or two or three or five or ten,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: or the only way you become a yellow or blue
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: or green or purple or black belt, depending on what
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: system you're in, is by just showing up and getting
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: literally or like Tiff, literally punched in the face. I mean,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: there was a time where she didn't know what her
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: left hook was or a jab or a fucking uppercut.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: There was time where she literally couldn't, you know, throw
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: a combination. She didn't know the terminology, the language, like
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: how did she how did she become a successful fighter
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: and win stay titles? And well by starting off being
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: shit and so this and you can't get better at
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: what you're not doing now, if that's playing a guitar
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: or being a public speaker, or being a boxer or
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: building a business. When I started my first business, I
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: was overwhelmed with all the things that I didn't know
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: and understand. I didn't know how to build a business,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: grow a business, market a business. I didn't understand lawyers.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand council regulations. I didn't understand insurance. I
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: didn't understand people management or leadership. I fuck, I didn't know.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: There were one hundred things I needed to know. But
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: how do you get good at running a business well?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: By being shit at the start and having a good
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: attitude and being humble and apologizing when you need to
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: and unlearning when you need to. But I think that
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: you know, we just get in our own way emotionally
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: and psychologically because we don't want to be seen by
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: others to be inadequate or incompetent. We don't want to
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: be embarrassed. We don't want people to think we're done
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: with da da da da da, And then we're fifty
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: and this is the this is for me, that's always
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: been the urgency, like and that's self created urgency and
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: self created pressure, But that's how it works for me.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Like I like, I like being the best version of me.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I don't mean compared to anyone else, I mean the
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: best version of a better version of me compared to
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: when I was fifty. And the only way that that
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: happens is under pressure and being prepared to be scared, inadequate, embarrassed,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: you know, all of those things. But working through that.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I know that was a very long answer.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: It was No, it's good. Its good.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: What I'm curious about though, And like, I completely relate
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: to the self imposed pressure, Like I get told very
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: often that I'm very hard on myself, and I do
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: always you know, push.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: For that more.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: But what about the people? And like, so for me,
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: listening to podcasts initially was because I was looking for
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: something I needed an answer to, you know, why do I,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: you know, have anxiety from time to time and how
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: do I then deal with that? And then discovered a
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: few more podcasts that were really delving into more self
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: awareness self help.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: What about those people that at.
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: The very start and they're so scared that they don't
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: know even how to put themselves out there, like they're
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: so potentially withdrawn or just you know, terrified of even
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: posting a photo of themselves, Like I've been in that position.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: I messaged the other the other day and I said,
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: I put a video of myself on TikTok go me
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: best time. But what about those people that could be
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: listening that are kind of like, I am so shit
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: scared to do anything because I'm scared of being judged
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: or looked at or seen or heard or failing, Like
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: what would be the first step?
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So being scared is normal, Being scared is healthy.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Being in fact, being scared the right type of fear
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: can save your life. So I think, you know, when
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: we talk about being scared in our culture, it's almost
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: seen as a negative. I think it's not a negative.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: It could be it depends, or it could be a
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: positive it depends, But I think more than either of
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: those things, it's an unavoidable part of the human experience.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So when someone says to me I'm really scared, I go, yeah,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: me too, And they're like, what do you mean you?
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I go They're like, what are you scared of? I go, well,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: fucking get comfortable. I'll give you my list right Because
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: we are, I mean menace, especially because men want to
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: be seen. Not all men, I get it, but some
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: men want to be seen as invincible, alpha male warriors,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: not scared of anything. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: you know. Like I've worked with I worked in I
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: did security in pubs and clubs for three years with
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: these big, fucking alpha male warriors. You don't think they're
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: scared of stuff. Of course they I've worked with. I've
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: worked with the military, I've worked with Victoria police. I've
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: worked with a range of like different people who you
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: would think, oh, wow, they're very, very you know, they
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: must be close to fearless. No, they're not fearless. They're
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: fucking brave. They're courageous. Some of them, month by the way,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: more in the bouncer category than the cop or the
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: military category, but some are. But it's like it, I
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: think it's more about a mental shift rather than going,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: what is the thing that I do first? Well, I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: think one of the things that we do first is
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: we go I'm scared, and that's all right. I'm going
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: to have to do a thing that is hard, and
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: that's all right. But for me, it is about doing obviously,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: because different people have different objectives and are in different
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: places emotionally and mentally. I mean for somebody with agrophobia
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: or agoraphobia, people who don't want to leave the house
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: or are very you know, maybe for them, walking to
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: the fucking letterbox is like Tiff winning seven fights. You know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: it's all relative to the individual. And so what we're
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: looking at is what is going to create some momentum behavioral, emotional, mental,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: What is going to move the needle a little bit?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: And sadly, not sadly, but practically. So for me to
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: say what's the first thing, it depends like there is
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: no there's no set first thing. Because the first thing
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: for you might be putting a photo or a video
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: of yourself on tik talk. That might be something for
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: you that's groundbreaking and cathartic and that's a real act
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: of courage. For somebody else, they're like, what the fuck?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I do that twenty six times a day. But they're
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: terrified of puppies, you know, I don't know. And for
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: some people, like for me, going to do a speaking
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: gig tomorrow with like two hundred people in a room
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: and blah blah blah blah blah, my overwhelming emotion is
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: excitement somebody else wouldn't get one minute sleep tonight. But
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: it's not about the task or the skill of public speaking.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: It's about what that represents to you. So for me
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: to go do that requires zero bravery. But for some
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: people just to introduce me in a thirty second you know,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: read something for thirty seconds to introduce me would be
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: overwhelmingly terrifying. So I think you know that the broad
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: answer is lean into your fear. Do it intelligently and strategically,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: not recklessly. Right. And I think when we talk about
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: putting ourselves under pressure like you did and I did,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: so there's healthy pressure and unhealthy pressure. So healthy pressure
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: is right. I'm going to walk three thousand steps a day.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: That's my and because currently I'm walking a thousand cool
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: and that's non negotiable for the next fourteen days. So
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I've got to make that commitment. And what I'm also
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: going to do is I'm going to talk about it
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: on the podcast. Hey, everyone, this is what I'm doing
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: next fourteen days. I'm currently one. I'm going to triple it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do three thousand. I'm going to report
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: into Tiff and Kelly and blah blah blah, so now
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of creating, and of course I cannot do it,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: of course, but in that way where it's something that's
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: not insurmountable, it's not overwhelming, it's not reckless. But I
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: think it's like, I think it is not only important
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: imperative that we create a level of pressure for ourselves
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: in an intelligent way, not a reckless way, because otherwise,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: how the fuck can we become more resilient if we
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: are always trying to take pressure off ourselves. Now, sometimes
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: sure like Tiff having an injury and going, I'm not
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: going to put myself under the pressure of training the
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: next three days on my body is telling that's cool.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: But if TIF doesn't train for the next year, because whatever,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: that's different, you know. So it's it's for me. It
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: is very much the intersection of being willing to get
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable or put yourself under pressure, being strategic and intelligent
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: about how that works, and really being willing to explore
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: your potential. And you know, like we've said, for some people,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: a five minute walker is a breakthrough. So it's all
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: relative to the individual. But you know, if I sat
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: with an individual and I got their story, then I
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: could probably come up with something that I think I
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: think might be a good starting point, and then I
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: would unpack that with them and say, what do you think,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: like I think you doing this? Right? I think you
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: doing this like you put up your hand and said,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Six months ago when it was I said, hey,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: everybody on the New Project Facebook page, I'm doing a.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I want to do a Q and A. Send me
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: some cues and I'll give you some a's right, And
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: then you went, here's my cue? Can I ask you
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: the questions? And I went, I know, like, I don't
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: know you well well, but I know you well enough,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, I reckon that would be a mix
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: of excitement and terror for you.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Right absolutely. And it was interesting.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: So I remember, like I was listening to that you
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: either put it into a podcast or on a post.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: And I was at the gym, and you know, that's
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: when I kind of get all of my courage up,
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: because you know, I'm lifting heavy for me, and I thought,
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: I'm just going to ask because you can only say no.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: But if I don't ask, then it's no anyway. And
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: then you came back and actually said, so, Kelly's asked this,
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: And I was on the cross trainer at this point,
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: and You're like, give me fifteen questions, and I'm like,
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: challenge accepted. I'm typing away while I'm on the cross trainer,
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: but yeah, you're right, Like it's really.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Pushed me out of my comfort zone.
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: And it's so nice to be on this with both
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: of you because it gives me this opportunity to thank
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: you both, because I don't know if you realize like
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: how much you're both doing for me. Friends are noticing it,
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: my partner's noticing it. Like I'm far more confident in
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: just asking questions of my friends and people that I meet.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I still wouldn't push myself out of my comfort zone
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: and you know, god to a stranger or anything. Like
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: the conference today, I was still a bit like I
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: want to talk to you, but you know, I'm still
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: socially awkward and what if I say the wrong thing?
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: But in general, yeah, absolutely, it's just been this kind
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: of inching forward and it's it's yeah, for me, this
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: has been incredibly brave. So I'm not scared of it anymore.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: I'm not talking it down. I'm just absolutely fucking loving it.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh and she's swearing fucking ill that's progress. The
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: other thing too, is though you know how I say,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: the mountain doesn't change, you change, right, the mountains, the mountain.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: The mountains is the same length, same same gradient, same everything.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: The mountains the mountain. But the more times we go
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: to the mountain, you know, we start we're unfit, and
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: then we keep going back to the mountain and we
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: build fitness and we build muscular endurance, and we understand
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: ourselves more and we build a different relationship with the
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: mountain and then all of a sudden, the mountain's a
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: piece of cake, where in reality the mountain ain't any different.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: And it's like, in this instance public speaking, the you
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: project it's probably not a mountain for you. Maybe it
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: is a mountain, maybe it's a hill. Right, but we're
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: the same you're doing. You know, you're doing the same
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: thing that you've done a few other times, but your
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: level of skill and competence and confidence has evolved because
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: you wanted to do a certain thing. You wanted to
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: climb the metaphoric hill, even though you didn't really have
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: the fitness or skill or fundamentals at the start. But
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: now you've got more knowledge, you've got more confidence, and competence,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: and you've got more fitness for want of a better term. Right,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing, is, like, the only real variable
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: that you can control in a constantly over the course
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: of your life is yourself. Because most of the shit
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: in the world that affects you, that you interact with,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: that plays some role on planet you, most of those
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: you can influence, either not at all or only a
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: little bit, you know. And so it's your capacity to
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: navigate life, controlling your variables, your choices, your behaviors, your actions,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: your reaction, your courage, regulating your fear, leaning into your
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: self awareness, your emotional and social and intellectual kind of intelligence. Right,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's always about us. Like we think
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: we want to build a better life, what we want
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: to really build is a better us. Because when there's
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: a better me in the middle of my life, my
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: life is better. But if all of a sudden, my
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: life practically is better. I've got five houses, I've got
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: twenty cars, I've got all the money I need, I'm
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: a fucking superstar. I've got a bit, you know. But
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of all of that much better life.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: In inverted commas, I'm still the overthinking, anxious, you know, terrified, whatever.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Then my life experience, not my life situation, but my
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: life experience is shit. So this is the constant for me.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: This is the work. The work is what do you
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: need to do? What do you need to do more of?
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: What do you need to do less of? I know
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: you're scared. I know you overthink. I know you riddled
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: periodically with self doubt and all that shit. I get it.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: And I'm not praising you or criticizing you. I'm just
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: acknowledging you. And so with all of that in mind, because,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: by the way, that's not gonna melt away accidentally. You're
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: not going to accidentally fucking fall on your feet. You're
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: not accidentally gonna succeed. You know, the fucking opportunity fairy
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna knock on the door like you wouldn't have
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: got this opportunity if you see it as an opportunity
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: unless you initiated it.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if I hadn't asked it, as I said,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: it would have been no anyway.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: So you initiated it. You did a pretty good job.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: You got another opportunity, did a better job, and that's
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying beyond here is a fucking
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: high wall to mark for anything, But here you go.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I bet there's a bunch of people out there. You know,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not not fifty percent, but there'd be a percentage
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: of people listening to this thinking I wish I fucking
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: asked that question. I'd love to be on harps of
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: show and ask him stuff. But nobody did. Nobody did
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you did?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what's going to happen tilmorrow week?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: No? No, no, too late, the gates closed. We've already
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: got Kelly, although she could be shipped for the rest
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: of the show, so stand by. No pressure, Yeah, no pressure,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: don't fuck it up, don't jeez all right, where else
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: did you want to go? That was good. That was
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: a good start. I liked it.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: So from this morning's episode, and I did actually take
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: notes this time.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: So you were talking about having the tools.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: To deal with like emotional regulation and anxiety and things
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: like that, and your comment was, it doesn't matter what
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: you know about all of that when you're in the
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: middle of feeling emotionally terrible, and that you know, I
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: realized that the past couple of times that I've spoken
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: to you both, I've been quite capable of talking about,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: you know, seeing a shrink and dealing with anxiety across
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: my life. And that's been because it hasn't been overly
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: present at the time, and then the past couple of
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: weeks it's been it's been there. So I had this
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: kind of big cause of uncertainty and anxiety removed, and
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: I'm like, great, you know, happy days.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: I can kind of float through this now.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: But it kind of gave way to this space in
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: my brain, in my mind that all of these little
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: things started popping up, going, hey, now I'm going to
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: I'm going to be the cause of your anxiety, and
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: just you know, this kind of spiral.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: It's been fun.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: But yeah, just to really hit home when you said
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: it doesn't matter what you know, when you're in the
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: middle of it, all of that like it kind of
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: drops away. And so that to me was something I thought, well,
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: let's have a bit of a chat about that.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I wouldn't say it doesn't matter, but I'm
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: saying sometimes when you're in the motion, in the middle
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: of an emotional fucking whirlpool, right, Not that anyone on
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: this call, Tiffany Ankle gets in that, No, not at all.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, there have been more than five times where
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I have said to Tiff, right, and by the way,
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: TIFFs made fucking phenomenal progress, and she's a champ in
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: her own right. But there's been times when we've been
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: talking and I've said to you, I've said, Okay, right
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: now is the time when all of the shit that
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: we talk about theoretically needs to be put into practice,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: you know where. And I'm the same. It's like we
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: all do this, like do I ever lose my shit? Well,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: not in an angry way, but where I'm in a
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: bit of an emotional whatever, and we all get in
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: it and I know what I should be doing, but
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: in that emotional state, sometimes I can't fucking do it.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I probably can, but in that moment. Now, fortunately that's
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: not as many times as it used to be. But
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I think the human experience is that, you know, like
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: there are like I would know, I need to be
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: careful how I say this, and I put myself in
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: this group. I know at least fifty personal trainers who
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: know how to eat, know how to train, know how
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: to manage their body, know pretty much how to make
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: good decisions, all of that, But when they're in a
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: certain emotional place, they'll eat their own body weight in shit,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: despite the fact that they're quite educated, quite knowledgeable, right,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: And so there are times when in the middle of
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: an emotional whatever, we will reach for something or do
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: something even though we know it's not the right thing
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: to do. Like, we have the intellectual knowledge, but the
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: emotion sometimes overwhelms us. Not all the time, but there
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: are definitely times when we do things that we know
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: we shouldn't do, and that is driven by emotion, not
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: logic and not reason in the moment, and I think
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: that's just, you know, that's part of the human experience.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there are sometimes when you're really really sad
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: or really lonely or really anxious, where you're being a
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: certain way that you know you don't have to be that,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: but in a state of emotional overwhelm, it's like, yeah,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: stick your self, help up your ass. I'm just in
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: this moment now, And I don't you know, if that's regular,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: that's a problem, but I just think that I think
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: that's everybody. I think we need to give ourselves a
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: pass sometimes.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's actually something that I've referenced my shrink
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: a few times.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: But she said It's.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: Quite common that people who are in the middle of
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: a lot of self help and you know, relying on
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: what she calls like the toolbox, that they almost have
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: like an exhaustion from doing that. And you just have
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: to kind of have that time out to say, you
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: know what, I'm doing the work, but it's okay to
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: not do all of the work today.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I call them fuck all days. I've done an
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: episode on it, and I've done posts on you know,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: have a fuck all day? Do fuck all think about
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: fuck all? You know, I mean, done it your own
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: body weight in pizza, probably, but take your foot off
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: the gas a little bit. Maybe. Yeah, I definitely think
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: that like the relentless, obsessive ptute of perfection or improvement,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's a good thing. I think there's
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: got to be wings and roundabouts, and I think, you know,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I think if most of the time you're doing mostly
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: good things for your body, for your brain, for your relationships,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: for your life, then you're probably doing better than most.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And it ain't a competition. But yeah, I think if
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: you're being honest and brave and self aware, you know,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: self regulation for humans is tough, and like even with
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, you think about Tiff, who's spoken very openly
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: and bravely about, you know, perimenopause over the last i
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: don't know, six months or more. Jump in tip five
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: fuck any of this up. But I've kind of been
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: interested in, you know, like I'm a dude, right, so
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: we don't. I mean, men have something that's in the
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: ballpark called andropause, but definitely women have, in my opinion,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: a much harder time. But you know that's I mean,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: that is a hormonal and physiological fucking cess. But it's
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: also an emotional shit fest, isn't it.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: TIF I was going to say before, the whole idea
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: of this is not logic either. Like when we're talking
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: about so you might be talking about anxiety, but when
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: I think about like some of the conversation's ups and
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: I have, it would be more an emotional trigger. And
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: I remember years ago going home to Tazzy and talking
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: about a time where I just got triggered around mum
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: and I was in the middle of that. I was
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: just a petulant little asshole there and I couldn't put
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: my finger on why, but something in the environment made
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: me switch to that place, and I knew I was
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: being a little pig, and I knew I was sorry,
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: and as soon as I got away from her, I'd
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: be able to just reach out and go, I'm really sorry.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I was being a dick. But in that moment, even
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: what though I was aware of it, my body was
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: in that state. And that's not logic, and that takes
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: time to shift, and the time gets closer and closer
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: between it happening and us being able to come back.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Like the CONVERSATIONSHAPS and I have now, I sat in
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: spaces where I would get emotionally I was going to
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: say the word we don't say anymore in the world,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: emotionally stilted, and I would know that I've had emotions
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't interact the way I wanted. But I
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: also knew that they weren't true and that they weren't
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: but I didn't know why they were happening, and I
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: had to figure them out, and I was like, I
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: don't know how to figure them out, Like I don't
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: know what to say to you. I have I feel
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: like this, but it's not your fault, but it's also
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: not mine because I'm not choosing it.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think like I think sometimes
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: with I mean, you know, Tif and I are friends,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: of course, but it's been a mental mentee relationship in
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: you know, some ways for a long time. And so
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I think and there'd been moments in there our relationship
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: that have been fucking messy, you know, not horrendous, but
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: like a bit clunky, haven't they a bit lumpy and bumpy?
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: And and miscommunication from the two fucking communicators, and you know,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: and definitely Tiff was not always the problem, like equally
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: me at least, you know, so it is. I just
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: think that these like what we're doing right now is
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: just it's so healthy and it's so great to be
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: able to go, Yeah, what part of the problem, what
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: did I do? Like obviously, when I've pissed Tiff off,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: which I have, or she's pissed me off, which she has,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: but we're not talking about in a really destructive way.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: But it's never been intentional on either way, on either part. Right,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: it's just like, oh you did this, I got annoyed,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I didn't even know. I didn't even know.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: It's not like I was, I can't, I'm like I
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: just was somehow was though, you know, But then and
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: this is again, this is and I'm sorry for fucking
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: boring anyone. By the way, kel will go to six thirty,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: not six twenty as planned. But will you know when
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: you open this kind of door? But and I don't
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: mean in a bullshit way on a fucking podcast where
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh yeah, sure I do that. Not I
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: mean really in the real world, in real life, when
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: you genuinely try to understand someone else, not agree with them,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: not necessarily endorse their ideas, but you try to understand,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: you try to look through their window. And I reckon,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I'm I don't think I'm ace at it, but I'm
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: pretty good at it. Like with Tiff, I know TIFF's
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: love language. I know sometimes she'll send me a message
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: about something, doesn't matter what it is, and I'll answer genuinely.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I'll also answer in a way that I know will
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: make her feel good and encourage her, because I want
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: to encourage her. Right and and but being able to
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: you know, like I I somebody said to me yesterday
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: like something like, you've always been intimidating, right, and they
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: they this is a lady I used to train, right,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: and I used to train a whole family, and she goes, oh, no,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: we love you. The whole family loves you. In fact,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: they came to me to help them solve quite a
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: big problem, right, And I used to I haven't done
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: anything with that family for the problem challenge, let's call
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: it challenge. But anyway, shid oh no, but we're all
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: fucking scared of you, but we love you, right, And
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's so funny. I like, I've never been
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: anything but nice to them. But they would they would,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: you know, when I would say do this, they would
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: go okay, Like and because when I train people, as
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Tiff knows, I'm very look so in this room, in
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: this scenario, I'm in charge and you're not right. So
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you don't matter, doesn't mean I don't
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: care what you think. But if you want to be
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: coached by me, then be coached. Like, don't come in
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: here and argue like, if you want to train yourself,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: fucking knock yourself out. But if you want me to
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: train you, here's what happens. I tell you what to
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: do for an hour, you give me money, and then
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: fuck off. That's the system. So we're not having a conversation, right, Oh,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: it's just dawning on me. Why I'm intimidating. No, but
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: I mean that. I mean that in a fun way,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: like we always had fun, We always laugh, we always
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: talk shit. But anyway, I don't know where the fuck
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I was going with that. But oh, we'll talk about emotions.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I've lost my way kel take over. Yeah, it is
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: to get a better host.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: I'm too intimidated.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: Now what you were saying just befoughtif and not to
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: you know, completely bypass your training tactics of scaring the
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: shit out of people, Craig.
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: But when you're in the moment of.
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: Like an emotional regression, which is kind of what I
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: equate it to, and you kin't of you're going, I
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: know that this isn't how I want to be. I
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: know that I've got the tools to literally outthink this,
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: but there's a part of me that is so overwhelming
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: in the moment.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I find that quite difficult.
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: And then I'll just brate myself for it afterwards, going,
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: you know what, You've come so far, and you've done
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: all this work and you know better, and this isn't
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: who you want to be or where you want to go.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: Why did you let this happen? And Yeah, I find
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: that still to be quite challenging.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: I've talked about once, like I think like they're hurt
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: buttons right, and for me recognizing, okay, what like what
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: I need? What did I need? Or do I need?
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: What is a part of me need? Once we went
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I went to dinner.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: With Dad and.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: We got our curry and they didn't bring the rice
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: and we'd already eat so no, I'm not hungry because
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: we've already eaten our entrees and we're about five minutes
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: pass us. They don't bring the rice, and Dad's over
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: here for a holiday, and I just go bang and
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I'm wild and I can't even keep talking because I'm like,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know why it's so hard just to get
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: the rice out of the rice warm it's over there.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: It was my I don't matter button. And I talked
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: about it with doctor Bill and he's like, well, what
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: did you need to know? I'm like, well, I hardly
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: think that the waitress needs to deal with my emotional ineptity.
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: But then a few days.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: Later I was like, okay, but I need to do
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: something that tells whatever part of me needed to be
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: seen to they needed to be seen, Like I'm just
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: you don't have to yell at them, but maybe just
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: ask for the rights or address it in some way.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: So I think unpacking it and going what is what
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: might the thing be, and what might I need? And
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: if it happens next time, what might some one thing
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: be that I could try? Because it happens less now
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: every time someone was late Harps. If Harps didn't show
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: up until two minutes before a guest arrived on the
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: podcast in the early days, that was most of my
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: issue back then. And I because I was like, oh,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm just a
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: cog in the machine. He doesn't even like he just
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: turns up for that. You know. I'm here, I'm excited,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: I'm finally out of the bamboo and I'm gone on
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: the typ podcast just like you are. And he'd rock
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: in five minutes before because he's just come out of
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: a bloody meeting. But my story was and I couldn't
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: pull myself out of that nacky little funk.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: I've never told Harps.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: That that's so interesting. I didn't know that. Yeah, the
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: funny thing was I was actually avoiding you, so that's
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: that's fair. Of course I wasn't that's that is so interesting.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, hell, I've got a question for you. Sure,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: why do you want to do this? Like, yeah, why
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: do you want to? I'm glad you are by the way,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: you're good at it, and there's certainly adding value, Like
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: what is it that you get from doing this?
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: I really enjoy it, And.
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: There's I've always felt this need to be creative, and
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: I've always been so I you know, my overall goal
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: I would like to write, and I do write, but
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: I feel like there's a novel like inside of me somewhere.
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: But I'm also very impatient. So the time that it
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: takes to sit and write a novel, as you know,
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: to write a book, like you're giving up and dedicating
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: so much time. Well you're not giving up. You're working
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: towards something, and you're dedicating so much time towards something
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: that you really want. But I am incredibly impatient, and
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: so I've been looking for other avenues of well, how
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: can I be creative?
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: That's almost like it's.
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: Instant, But then with this it's been I'm finding that
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: personally it's a lot of growth, Like I feel for
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: the first time probably ever, a bit of confidence and
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: I'm not saying that, you know, in any kind of
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: egotistical you know, here's my head swelling kind of way.
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: But I do feel a bit of confidence and that's nice,
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: and it's it's allowing me to work towards where I
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: want to be and who I want to be, which
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: I'm feeling is like it's a new version of me,
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: and potentially it was always there, but I've always been
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: far too scared to embrace or work towards it.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: So yeah, like what's the long game for you? Like,
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: is there an end goal or a long game, or
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: it's just to have the experience and have some fun
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: and develop some skills and gain some insight, or is
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: there a bigger picture goal.
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: At the moment, I'm really enjoying the experience and I've
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: been to two conferences this year and watch the people
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: on stage, and for the first time ever, I've thought
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: that could potentially be me, Like I could maybe do that.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: So that's I think the next challenge that I'll set
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: for myself. I've got a presentation at work next week
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: to the senior leaders, and that's my first kind of
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: you know obstacle of getting up and you know, presenting
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: my work too. I think it's about six people, and I'm.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: Not overly scared of that.
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: It's still kind of like, oh shit, well, you know,
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: it's the focus will be on me, so that's a
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: little bit terrifying. But No, today I was watching the
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: presenter and she was incredible. She just had this really
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: nice pace. She was very intelligent and very good at
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: her job. She didn't actively say, hey, I'm good at
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: my job, but in the way that she was speaking
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: and what she was presenting, you could very clearly see that,
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: and I thought, you know, maybe one day it could
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: be could be me and you know, my colleagues on
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: that stage presenting work that we've done, because I think
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: we do good work for good people and it'd be
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: great to share that.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I Mean, here's the thing about speakers, like
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: I've seen, I've probably seen I don't know how many,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: but a lot of speakers on stages because I go,
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: you know, like tomorrow, I'll see another speaker or two
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: that I've never seen and never met, and so I'm
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: constantly being exposed to people who get on stage and
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: talk for a living. And the beauty of it is
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: there are so many different kinds of humans who get
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: up there who was totally different from the person before,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: and they're both good. It's like they're like, I have
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: my way of doing things, and depending on the day,
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: usually i'm somewhere between oh, not terrible and okay, And
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: then you get up someone else who's just the opposite
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: of me, and they're real good like but they don't
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: they're not a storyteller, they're not cheeky, they don't walk
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: to the edge of the stage and engage the audience.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: They don't do all the bullshit I do. But they're mesmerizing,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: you know. That's the beauty is there's no it's like,
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: there's no best kind of art. There's just a myriad
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: of art. You know. That's not like, oh, what's the
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: best music? You go like, that's it dumb because there's
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: so many different kinds of music that are beautiful. And
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, that's exactly it. The Tiff just pointed
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: to the box of the album by Mark Simour, of
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: which she's proudly adorning the front best music what self
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: esteem issues? None? But I love that. But yeah, and
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: I think public speaking is for me, it's much more
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: of a creative process, well for me anyway. Right. It's
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: like the intersection of information, creativity, and even entertainment. You
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: know where you've got to you don't have to. But
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: I always think, Okay, so I know some stuff I've
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: got to talk tomorrow. For now, I've got to talk
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: from nine to ten to ten ten in the morning.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Opening keynote, I go, sure, So I know a lot
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: of stuff. You know, well, of all there is to know,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I know fuck all. But I know more than enough
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: to talk for an hour, and I know some stuff
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: that's pretty fascinating and interesting. But the real question is
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: can I get up there with great energy, build an experience,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: read the room, create connection, tell a funny story, share
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: some great ideas and information, and maybe a bit of
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: science and maybe a bit of oh fuck, listen to
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: those statistics, maybe a bit of that, And then can
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I create something that then becomes a catalyst for action
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: and real world results. Like that's how I think about it,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: whereas a lot of people completely understandably would be can
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I get up there and say what I've got to
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: say without fucking it up? Like that's that's the extent
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: of there, which you know, I get it, I get it,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: But over time you just become you know, I know
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I can get up and talk for an now that's
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: not the issue. I want it to be great for
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: them though, you know, like my goal is when I finish,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: my main goal is that they go that was great.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: He's great. I would like to hear him again. That's it,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: you know, in terms of my personal goals, But in
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: terms of goals for them, I hope that it opens
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: a door on something that for them is potentially transformational
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: moving forward. You know.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got a question. Do you prefer to
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: be the opening or closing keynote?
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: Definitely opening?
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because everyone's in their best energy, everyone's tired at
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, start of the day, everyone's
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: a bit pumped. And for me anyway, like I like
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: being the opening keynote, setting up the day, you know,
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: and hopefully creating a good experience out of the gate
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: for people. But having said that, I'm I'll talk anywhere.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes I I would the worst spot to speak, well,
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let you guess when's the worst time
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: of day to speak as a speaker. There's actually, as
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: a professional speaker, there's two times. One you definitely don't
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: want to fucking speak. It's a fucking nightmare. The other
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: one is it's not that bad, but it's you know,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: it's close. So what do you what do you think?
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: People never think about this understandably.
• 53:33
  Speaker 4: Well, having been just at a conference today, I would
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: dare say before or after lunch?
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so after lunch, because people are people's brain
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: function goes down after they eat. They're a bit more tired,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: they're a bit more dopey, they're a bit more laid back,
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: they're not you know. So, but before lunch also is
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: not great. After lunch, I mean, it is what it is,
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: you know, But I try and bring if I do
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: an after lunch thing, I'm very mindful of that. The
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: worst ever is talking during a dinner where they have
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: a dinner and you are the speaker, and while you
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: are speaking, there are fucking people walking around the room
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: handing out dinners, and people at table going, Kelly, can
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: you pass me the salt tiff? How's the chicken? What's it?
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: And fucking Harps is up there trying to inspire the
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: masses that are fucking preoccupied with their fucking chicken parma
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: or whatever it is.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: Well, you ain't no what I feel it halps, So.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I say, definitely, I'd tell you.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: What I know where my attention would be.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Kell. Have you got one quick last question or are
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: we done and dusted up to you? I'm good either way.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: One quick last question and this is going back to
• 54:59
  Speaker 4: what we were talking about earlier.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: I'm wondering, and it's just for both of you.
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: Is there something that you're scared of at the moment
• 55:06
  Speaker 4: that you're going to do anyway?
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Oh scared, I'm I'm just for me, like the next
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: few months of my I apologize for talking about it,
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: but it's just what's preoccupying my life at the moment,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: just my PhD, like handing in. I'm scared, like I've
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: got to submit in a few months, which is handing
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: all my work. Yeah, so it's I'm not scared terrified,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, this is this is And every
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: time I do something i'm I feel like obviously I'm not,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm out of my depth. And
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: but the funny thing is, in terms of my area
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: of research, you know, metacognition, metaperception, you know, meta accuracy,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: all that kind of understanding how others think theory of
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: mind and understanding how others think about us met a perception.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: There's probably not a lot of people in Australia that
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: a lot more about it than me, to be honest,
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: just because I've just studied it for six years straight.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: But I you know, but I still feel like I'm
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: not the academic that all the others are, you know.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: So there's that. But I'll plow on, tiff, what about
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: you once?
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: I'm doing a speaking course, and speaking always puts me
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: in a bit of a tears. I'm always quite nervous beforehand,
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: as Harpers as well aware, but love it. But this
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: is scary because within it, I've had to create frameworks
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: and try things that aren't the way I do things.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: And I want to do that to its entirety before
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: I bin any of it just because it's not me,
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: just because it's not the way I work. So that's
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: scary because hopefully, hopefully I'll be able to do it
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: as a speaker at the end of year event, because
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: a small number of us will be which means I'll
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: be doing that in front of a hundreds of people,
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: and I will be really scared of that.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: You know. What's the good thing about that? Forew I
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: reckon is because as you so you have you have
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: a certain way of presenting, and you are a storyteller.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: You're cheeky, you're a bit freestyle, you're a bit loosey goosey,
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: and they're going, yeah, we want you to do the
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: opposite of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want you to
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: leave that room and come into this room where, yeah,
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: you can still tell your stories and stuff, but it's
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: quite formulaic, it's quite structured, it's quite process driven.
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: It's yeah, I completely and I've said to you, I
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: think it's even if you even if you only take
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: or incorporate a little bit of that, eventually, you know,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: it's still great to learn another way because there'll be
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: stuff that you do take out of that that becomes
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: intertwined with your normal operating system in that space.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: Well, there's stuff that's come from it that even if
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: I if I try it and then I go, I
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: don't like speaking in that way, I'm going back to
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: how I've always done it. I've already learned stuff that
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: are transferable skills. It's changed the whole learning and content
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: development process for me. And I think that happens when
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: we do things that scare us. They always change us
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: in ways we don't expect or think, and it's stepping
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: into scary stuff that gives us those things. And when
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: we don't do what we miss out.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: M Hey, before we go. This is completely fucking random
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: and left field to everything we've spoken about. So Nova
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: asked me to do a ad for the U Project
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: for Radio right, there's already one that circulates. So they said,
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: do you want to because we're gonna we're going to
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: advertise your show across I think smooth and over, which
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: I think is the say I should fucking know, shouldn't I? Yeah,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: do better? Harps shout out to the sponsors, of course,
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: who I love the shows, the stations anyway, they said,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: So I wrote a new ad for today which they
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: haven't got yet. So I want to read it to you,
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: and I want you to tell me if it's shit
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: or okay, you ready? I could fuck it up. I'm
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: Craig Harper, host of The You Project, one of Australia's
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: longest running podcasts, exploring the wonders and weirdness of human behavior, mind, body, emotion,
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: all the human stuff. Unlike some of the more self
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: helpy magic Pilly Quick FIXI Psychobabbly Podcasts. We're a little more.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: Roll up your sleeves, stop wasting your potential, get your
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: ship together, and stop waiting for the mystical, magical right time.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: And yes, I said ship, You're welcome the You Project.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: Take a listen. What do you think? I love it?
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: That's great?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Is it okay?
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: You know, you know when you look at your own
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: ship and you're like, I think that's okay, but it
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: could be fucking terrible. Oh good, Now, do you two
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: actually like it or you're just being nice to me.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: I'm just being nice on air.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: It's absolutely rid us awful.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Fucking Tucker. All right, Well back in therapy for fat
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: so Tiff get stuffed and Kel that's your last episode.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: Fuck you both. All right, Thanks everyone that's been to
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: you project. Nah, just kidding, just kidding. Thanks Kel. That
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: was great. You were great. Tiff, you were not quite
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: as great, but you're good.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: You know my buttons now.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: But you're both better than me, so that's the main thing.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: All Right, we'll talk off air, but Kelly, thank you, Tiff,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: thank
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: You, thank you, thank you.