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Hosein Kouros-Mehr · Postcards to the Universe

0:09
Welcome to Postcards to the Universe with Melissa Capria. Do you believe in magic?
0:15
What if you were told that all you had to do was get a
0:18
little creative and work a magic spell to bring anything you can imagine into your
0:23
life. Here on Postcards to the Universe, we will share manifesting tips,
0:29
postcards, creativity, abundance, and prosperity. Here is your host, Melissa
0:36
Capria. Hi everybody, and welcome to Postcards to the Universe with Melissa Creating
0:43
the life you create. It's Wednesday. How are you guys doing. I
0:47
hope everybody is doing well, and it's been a crazy week, as I'm
0:52
sure everybody knows. And if you follow astrology, apparently it's in the stars
0:57
right now. All these you know. I don't know. I don't know.
1:00
I don't know enough about it. I know what my son and my
1:03
moon and my rising is and like that's pretty much what I know. But
1:06
I have been reading and listening to a lot, So hopefully everybody is being
1:11
staying safe and being calm. Right We need to be calm and peaceful right
1:15
now, because whatever we put out comes back to us, so let's just
1:19
be aware of that. Today I have a really cool guest, author Jussin
1:25
Kuros Mayer, and he's going to join me in just a few minutes.
1:27
You guys know, I always love to have guests on my show because it's
1:32
truthfully for me personally. I just love to meet new people and hear new
1:38
ideas and get to know what other people are doing. Right. You know,
1:42
I'm in my own head all the time. I talk to myself constantly,
1:45
so I don't really need to be talking to myself on my radio show.
1:49
So yeah, that's why I love the guests that I have. So
1:53
for my regulars, thank you so much. I really appreciate you being here.
1:56
And if you are new to my show, I want to say welcome.
2:00
Just so you know that we do record the shows live on Wednesdays at
2:04
four pm Eastern Time, and so you may be listening to the show live.
2:08
And if you do like my show, all the shows are put up
2:12
on the archives and you can listen on OLM Time's Radio and the archives section
2:16
of all the old shows, which I'll have who my guest is and a
2:20
bio on the guest. Or you could go to my website Postcards to the
2:23
Universe dot com and you can listen to all of the previous shows under podcasts.
2:30
I put them all up there too today. Like I said, I
2:32
have an author on and I'm also an author, and my book is called
2:38
Postcards to the Universe, Harness, the Universe's powered manifest your dreams, right,
2:43
I could try to say that fifteen thousand times fast. I say it
2:46
all the time. But a little bit about my book. I'm a photographer.
2:50
Also, there's thirty stories in my book and manifesting postcards. And a
2:54
manifesting postcard is somebody created kind of like a little mini vision board, is
3:00
something that they wanted to manifest. I photographed it and when it showed up
3:04
in the reality, I shared their story. So that's basically what the book
3:08
is about. And I broke it down into love and relationships, career,
3:13
money, and health. So hopefully that piques your interest and you can go
3:17
and check out my Barnes and known your local bookstore. They'll get it for
3:23
you if if it's not in there already. So my book came out at
3:30
the end of twenty nineteen, right before COVID, so I decided to start
3:36
doing live readings from my book. I'm sharing those on TikTok, Instagram,
3:42
and LinkedIn. Those are the platforms I'm on all the platforms, by the
3:46
way, but those are the ones I'm sharing the reading of the book.
3:49
So oh and then I put it on YouTube also, right, So if
3:53
that interests you and you want to follow along, please do just let me
3:55
know that you're there, you know, give me a like share with your
3:59
friends, come and say hi. So I photograph the postcards that I get,
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like I said, and each week I post one on my social media
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and I call it my magical message. And I've been rephotographing the postcards in
4:15
the book and I just finished up those so you can check those out.
4:19
Yeah, I love to do it. I set it all up. I
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set the space, I set an intention. I look at what the person
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wrote on their affirmation, their manifestation, and you know, I play their
4:32
vibrational music or sounds or good music I like candles. And it's like a
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hole. It's a whole ritual the way that I do it because hopefully I
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am putting all my good energy on someone's postcard and helping them to get what
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it is that they want to manifest. So, yeah, they're on,
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Like I said, all the social medias. You can see them and I
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post them usually on Mondays. All right, Oh, before I forget,
4:58
Before I introduce my guest, I just wanted to let everybody know to please
5:03
send me one if this peaks your interest. If you want to know how,
5:08
I tell you how on my website and the address is listed there.
5:12
And if you have any questions, just reach out to me and I will
5:15
help you. All right, So let me get to my guest today,
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okay. Hostin kiros Mayer, who is an MD and PhD, is an
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author and physician scientist who has spent over two decades and cancer research and drug
5:30
development. Thanks to his background, Hostein recognized the extraordinary ramifications of a recent
5:36
scientific discovery, the default Mode network or DMN, which encodes the human ego
5:44
and influences our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Recognizing the profound impact of
5:49
this breakthrough on self understanding both from clinical and personal experience, he wrote Breakthrough,
5:57
Master Your Default Mode and Thrift to help readers master the DMN and live
6:02
happier, more fulfilling lives. He draws on a depth of understanding from medical
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science, neuroscience, Buddhism, Judeo Christian teachings and ancient philosophy. Breakthrough connects
6:16
the medical and spiritual realms to help readers unlock health and well being and awaken
6:20
their higher self, opening the doors to new possibilities and so. The author
6:27
of two novels, Extinction six and Project Body Awaken the Power of Insight,
6:33
which explores how mindfulness cultivates insights and scientific innovation. So you can follow along
6:41
while you're listening if you want to check them out. His website is your
6:46
Defaultmode dot com. Welcome Hocine. Thanks so much for being here with me
6:51
today. Thanks Melissa, it's a real pleasure to be here. Thanks for
6:55
having me on. Yeah, I'm really excited to talk to you about this
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default You know, I've never heard that term, I mean the Default Mode
7:02
network. So why don't you share a little bit about you, your background
7:08
and how you started this kind of work. Yeah, absolutely, So,
7:13
Basically I think you mentioned I'm a physician and a scientist, and really for
7:17
over two decades, what I've been trying to do is to help people by
7:23
taking some of these scientific discoveries that are just now being made and translating it
7:30
to people in a way. So they can understand it in order to help
7:32
them. So this latest book, which is called Breakthrough, is about the
7:38
default mode network, which a lot of people haven't heard. And even though
7:43
you may not have heard the term, you definitely know what it is.
7:45
So the default mode network is your wandering mind. So basically mentioned yeah,
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exactly, you mentioned earlier. You know, the voice in your head or
7:59
talking to your self, that sort of wandering mind that goes away from the
8:03
present moment, maybe takes you to the past or has you thinking about the
8:07
future. That wandering mind has a name. It's actually called the default mode
8:11
network. And so yeah, for example, Yeah, so this is a
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relatively new discovery. So it turns out and this is really the cutting edge
8:22
of science because we're now understanding the brain and how our brain works. And
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it makes a lot of sense when you actually look at the science and how
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the brain works, why we do the things that we do. And so
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Breakthrough is a book. It's a self help book. It's about personal growth,
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self discovery, and it really helps you understand how your brain works.
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And by understanding your brain, you can break through a lot of conditions like
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anxiety, emotional pain, stress, and depression. Addiction. It turns out
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this default mode that work has its hand in a lot of conditions that are
9:05
around mental health. So we can talk about any number of those. But
9:09
yeah, this default mode network, it's a really important discovery. Yeah,
9:13
no, it sounds like it because I think personally in my own experience and
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I'm sure many who are listening to the show. You know, our obsessive
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brain, you know, it doesn't stop right, It just doesn't stuck in
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these stories, these loops and of things that we tell ourselves. I'm not
9:37
good enough, nobody's ever going to love me, I'm always going to be
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broke. You know. Whatever it is that you're constantly saying, and you're
9:45
probably saying it's so much. You know, you don't even realize we're saying
9:48
it. We don't even realize it anymore, Like we're not aware. So
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how for all of us, how do we sort of get a handle on
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that and stop doing that? How do we shut our brains off? Yeah?
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The key, the number one key is self understanding, really coming to
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understand this wandering mind when it switches on, And the way to stop it
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is actually by building one of the other brains networks. It has another name.
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It's called central executive network. That's the name of it. So it
10:28
is the observing mind. So you've got wandering mind, which is default mode,
10:35
and then you've got this observing mind, which is central executive. So
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it turns out that when you're in the present moment, when you're doing some
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mindfulness or you're doing a prayer, or any of the activities that ground you
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in the present moment. It could be reading, gardening, it could be
10:52
music, you're using a different part of your brain. It's called the central
10:56
executive network. It's your observing mind, and that is a part of your
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brain that you can build, you can strengthen, And when you're doing let's
11:05
say a daily mindfulness practice, you are building that other part of the brain.
11:09
So when that observing mind gets strong, it can actually silence that wandering
11:16
mind, that default mode network. So and that's the key to this process.
11:20
One is self understanding, coming to really understand your brain, and two
11:24
is building that deeper part of the brain, that observing mind. And that's
11:28
basically what this book guides you through. And depending on you and your past,
11:35
that default mode network may trigger things like anxiety, it might trigger depression
11:41
in other people. Or addiction. But it all, it's all rooted in
11:45
the same thing, this default mode network, which tends to be a very
11:50
reactive part of the mind, very judgmental, kind of obsessed about me.
11:54
It's basically the ego, right, it's the ego, And so yeah,
12:00
it what it's trying to do. It's trying to help you ensure your survival,
12:05
make sure you know can be the best you can be. But but
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it it kind of takes you down this lonely road and creates all these problems.
12:16
So yeah, it's just amazing to be able to share this with people
12:20
like you who've never heard of the default mode. And by the way,
12:24
I have friends who are doctors, neurosurgeons, neurologists. They haven't heard of
12:28
the default mode. So it's brand new science that I'm basically sharing with the
12:33
world here. Mm yeah, yeah, the observing mind and being in the
12:39
present. And as a doctor and a scientist, let me pose this question
12:43
to you. Why is it that humans seem to always be either living in
12:48
the past, thinking in the past, going over all of our past mistakes,
12:54
past joys, or we are worrying about the future. Why are we
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not set up to a default mode to be in the present moment like animals.
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Animals are in the present moment. Why are we not. We are
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a unique species. You're right, We're very different than other animals. I
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think it has to do with our past. Our past was very, very
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difficult. I mean, I'm talking about our ancestors, like thousands of years
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ago, living in you know, caves and jungles. Life was really hard,
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and the way to get through life was by having a brain that was
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focused on the negative, that was always worried about the future. I mean,
13:37
that's what got us here, but that's what's also making us unhappy.
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So yeah, it's something really unique about us as humans that we have this
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default mode network that's always in the past, always in the future, preventing
13:50
us from being here in the present. And so, but the good news
13:54
is you can sort of heal this default mode. You can learn that it's
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not you, it's not who you are, actually that there is a way
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of living that's higher than that, that's actually a lot better, it's more
14:09
pleasant. So, right, and so a lot of and you know,
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this is the same message that people like Ekrtole have said, right, and
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even the old prophets I mean, Jesus said this, Buddha said on all
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the others. I think what's different now is now the science is kind of
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entering into this, and that's going to help a lot of people who maybe
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don't like religion, or don't like spirituality, or maybe never experienced it before,
14:37
because now that the science is here, there's actual data telling us about
14:43
this default mode network and that when we learn to overcome it, we can
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we can live in a much happier place. Basically, Yeah, Well,
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if anybody who's just he's just hearing us talk thinks about it, if you
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can think of a moment where you're in the present moment, think about how
15:00
much happier you feel. Like a good example would be like if you go
15:03
to a rock concert or you know, a pop pop concert. You're at
15:07
a concert and you're watching a performer on stage. You're so excited to be
15:13
in that moment right listening to the music and being part of the crowd and
15:18
the excitement. You're not thinking about what you have to do tomorrow. You're
15:22
not thinking about what happened to you, about how somebody you know betrayed you
15:26
like five years ago. Right, that's where you're at and you'll have that
15:31
spark of joy and if you can find ways to do it every day,
15:39
even if it's just being present with your friends or your your animals. Right,
15:45
Like, like, how many times has anybody had a conversation where you're
15:48
talking to somebody and you're not listening because you're thinking about what you have to
15:52
do for the rest of the week. Right, We do that all the
15:54
time. That's right, That's right. And so people with let's say ADHD
16:03
for example, they have a hard time being present because what's happening is their
16:07
default mo network is pulling them out of the present, just like this force
16:12
that just prevents them from being present. And so you know, in this
16:17
book, I put all the tools that are known that can sort of,
16:22
you know, free yourself from that default mode. I put it all in
16:25
here. So there are spiritual practices in here. There are really practical exercises
16:30
in there, things like focus exercises, breathing exercises. There's even things like
16:36
medications and forms of therapy, even you know, prayer, mindfulness. It's
16:42
all in this book. I wanted to put all the tools in one place
16:45
to help you figure out what works best for you. Because we're not all
16:51
the same. But if you know all the tools you know and arm yourself
16:56
with all the tools, then and if you have that intention of wanting to
17:00
be present, I think you'll you'll make it, and it's a much happier
17:03
place to be. So I think we're all saying the same thing. It's
17:07
just now that we've got science entering into this, this this whole new dimension
17:11
that comes in and I think will be very helpful. Yeah. Well,
17:15
okay, so let's talk about the science a little bit, because I think
17:18
you're right. We had all a lot of the spiritual teachers talk about this.
17:23
They talk about mindfulness and you know, and learning how to to not
17:30
listen to the monkey mind right and calm our brain down. So how is
17:37
science now being able to just to measure this? Like? How is science
17:44
like? How's it work? Yeah? Well, when I so, when
17:47
I was in medical school twenty years ago, we really didn't understand the brain.
17:51
We had this really simple view of the brain that it's caused, you
17:53
know, conditions like depression are caused by too much hormones or not enough hormones.
17:59
It's very simplistic view. But now we're understanding that in the brain there's
18:03
at least seven networks. So what is network sounds like a hard term.
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It just means different parts of the brain that connect to do a function for
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you. That's all I mean. So you've got the visual network helps you
18:17
see very simping, auditory network helps you here. One of the seven networks
18:22
is the default mode network, which, by the way, you can see
18:26
on an MRI scan. On an fMRI scan you can actually see it.
18:30
So, yeah, so in someone who is let's say, suffering from severe
18:36
depression and their default mode network is just switched on all the time and they're
18:40
stuck in the past, you can actually see that on a scan. Someone,
18:45
Yeah, someone who meditates, Let's say a Buddhist monk who meditates,
18:49
and they've actually scanned people who meditate. Their brain looks completely different, and
18:56
their brain in their brain, the default mode network is silent, and that
19:00
other part of the mind, that central executive that switches on, and you
19:03
can actually see that on a scan. So now that we have these tools,
19:08
we can start to understand what is it that brings on this default mode
19:14
how can we silence it? And now there are all of these scientific papers
19:18
coming out which I'm seeing all the time, basically showing that let's say,
19:22
mindfulness practice can improve depression and anxiety as good as medication. Studies are now
19:30
showing that things at the heart of spiritual practice, like for example, forgiveness
19:36
exercises, compassion exercises, gratitude significantly improves your health, can reduce stress harms
19:45
like cortisol, and so in a way, the science is now starting to
19:49
validate the old spiritual teachings from thousands of years ago, which that was not
19:56
the case. I can tell you twenty years ago when I was in medical
19:59
sk well, we kind of ignored all of the spiritual side. But now
20:03
we're actually starting to prove that spirituality, mindfulness, compassion, all of this
20:08
actually improves your health, reduces the risk of disease like cancer and heart disease,
20:14
and can be as good for you as any medication, which is pretty
20:19
profound, actually very profound. I'm very happy that science is catching up with
20:26
the philosophies that have been around for thousands of years, right, especially when
20:30
you think of Eastern medicine. You know, now with Western medicine, like
20:33
maybe finally we can start having the two meet in the middle. Right,
20:38
because like you said earlier, Not everybody is the same. Not everybody is
20:44
going to respond the same. Certain treatments aren't going to resonate with certain people,
20:51
and everyone should have some tool that they can use to help master their
20:59
their things and their negative thinking, their default mode. How to to you
21:03
know, shift it? And did you find in your studies that certain people
21:08
are more prone to having their default mode network? What would it be bigger?
21:15
I don't know the right term. It's just more active. Yeah,
21:18
it's just more Okay, that's right. Yeah, for sure, there are
21:22
certain certain people will have a much more active default mode and be stuck either
21:29
in the past or the future, suffering from anxiety, let's say, or
21:33
emotional pain or addiction. Definitely, for some reason, some people's brains are
21:40
more set up for that. But again, this is not a permanent condition,
21:44
and in the past we've called it disorders and diseases and syndromes. In
21:48
my book, I call them knots, like like knots in a rope,
21:52
you know, and not in a rope. It could be pretty firm,
21:56
but you can untie that night that knot and it'll go That rope will go
22:00
back to being its original shape, just like with anxiety and with depression,
22:04
these are reversible. You can you can heal yourself from these conditions. I
22:10
think in the past we kind of labeled people as you have ADHD and you're
22:15
kind of stuck with it. That's not the case. The brain can change
22:18
at any age as long as there's an intention to change, and as long
22:23
as you give your mind the tools it needs to heal. Right, just
22:27
as with a sprained ankle, a sprained ankle will heal if you give it
22:30
the right conditions. I mean, if you're going around running on a sprained
22:34
ankle, it's not going to heal. But if you give your body the
22:37
right conditions, it'll heal itself. And the same is true for the mind.
22:41
Yeah. Well, and the brain is I mean, how much do
22:45
we still not even know about the brain right that we need that compared to
22:52
the other organs in our body. Right That science is basically knows a heart
22:56
inside out, but do you really know a brain inside out? How that
23:00
works? And I mean it's just amazing to me. So it is a
23:06
person's childhood set up for how activated your DMN would be. Like if you
23:15
have a very traumatic childhood, Let's say, are you more prone to have
23:18
a very active DMN compared to somebody who had a very loving, nurturing childhood.
23:25
Yeah, definitely. So I mean so emotional pain. So these knots
23:30
are presented in a particular order, and emotional pain is the second one.
23:33
The first one is actually stress, which I think we all experience, but
23:37
emotional pain is definitely that trauma from childhood can definitely set up for that default
23:45
mode to be overactive, and so you'll just frequently your mind will wander off
23:49
to the past and remember this old, unresolved emotional pain, and that could
23:55
trigger all kinds of problems. But again, the good news is you can
23:59
completely heal from emotional pain. It starts with that intention, that intention to
24:03
heal. But some of the tools you can use to heal that emotional pain
24:08
include different forms of therapy, right, cognitive behavioral therapy, ways, you
24:15
know, tools that let you silence that default mode, network, meditation,
24:18
prayer. But there's one really highly effective power for this, and that's the
24:23
power of forgiveness, right, truly forgiving what happened in the past, either
24:29
self forgiveness or forgiving others when you and that's at the heart of Christian practice.
24:33
Buddhist practice, I mean, all the religions, but you know,
24:37
really truly forgiving, either with a therapist or really inside by yourself, you
24:44
can overcome that old emotional pain. But for many of us, we live
24:47
our daily lives constantly revisiting that old emotional pain, and it just it can
24:52
cause you know, addictions, It can cause anxiety and all other a lot
24:57
of other issues can stem from this unresolved emotional pain. It's a big issue.
25:02
Yeah, well, yeah, because I imagine if you've been if you
25:07
have a lot of trauma in your past and you haven't learned how to heal
25:12
that, you're carrying that with you, Yeah, you would have. You
25:18
would be more likely and more prone to self for from depression, negative thoughts,
25:23
being unhappy, manifesting a disase in your body that actually becomes a disease.
25:30
Right, because that's what we know now happens because science is catching up
25:37
and being able to show you that people who have a lot of trauma can
25:44
especially like let's say, I mean I've followed Louise Hey for years and I
25:49
remember her talking about her book that people who have a lot of sexual trauma
25:53
could and may be more likely to manifest cancer in the sexual org of their
26:00
body, which I always found really interesting. Right, so they're starting to
26:03
be correlations between certain traumas and where it manifests in your body, right,
26:08
like heartbreak. I mean people have actually died of a broken heart, have
26:12
had heart attackt and died because their heart's been so broken. So we know
26:17
those things are true, and science is finally able to like case it,
26:22
have cases then document it, which I find so interesting. All right,
26:26
before I ask you another question, because I can see we're going to be
26:30
coming up to the break and I don't want to interrupt you while you're in
26:32
the middle of answering, Let's take our break here and we'll come back in
26:36
a couple of minutes, and then we'll keep going. All right, Everybody
26:40
stay tuned and we'll be back in just a couple of minutes. Conscious Media
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I'm Melissa Caaprio from Postcards to the Universe, Creating the life you crave.
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Do you believe in magic? What if I told you all you had to
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do was get a little creative and work a dream spell to bring anything you
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can imagine into your life. Well, guess what I've got the spell for
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you. Postcards to the Universe, a global movement for manifestation, is a
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By casting out our desires with a manifesting postcard, we explore our hearts
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and allow the alchemy of our dreams to appear. And don't forget to tune
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in each week here on Home Times Radio with my show Postcards to the Universe,
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Creating the Life you crave at four pm Eastern Time. I share chips
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on creativity, abundance and prosperity, and you will be introduced to the coolest
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guests, trailblazers, mystics and creatives who enrich our lives. Hi, and
29:52
welcome back if you're just joining me. I'm talking to host Zine Kurosmer.
29:55
He's an MD at PhD and he's an author, and we're talking about something
30:00
called the Default Mode Network. Which encodes our human ego and influences our thoughts,
30:06
emotions, and behaviors. So ho seine, So what about our behaviors?
30:11
How much of our behaviors are dictated in our default mode network? I
30:18
would say most of them basically, So right, yeah, yeah, I
30:22
mean I basically. So this default mode network, as I mentioned earlier,
30:27
it's your wandering mind. And when you kind of try doing a little experiment
30:34
and observe what happens when your mind wanders. For me, let's say it's
30:40
brushing my teeth in the morning. As soon as I start brushing, my
30:42
mind wanders into the past. And this morning, I was just kind of
30:45
looking at the thoughts that come up when my mind wanders, and it tends
30:51
to be very self obsessed, and it tends to be very negative. Like
30:56
maybe I had fifty different things happen to me yesterday, but I'm going to
31:00
remember the most negative. That's what the default mode network focuses on. So
31:06
when you're stuck in that state, life tends to be very reactive, very
31:11
judgmental. Anything that kind of seems like is going against you, you want
31:15
to get angry at. And so that sets up for all kinds of,
31:22
you know, not healthy behaviors, right, And so I think part of
31:26
this is learning to coming to understand your default mode and kind of overcoming it
31:32
so that you know you're not trapped in living that reactive, judgmental life.
31:38
And when you sort of awaken to that other part of that your mind,
31:44
that observing mind, you'll see it's a much happier place to be and it's
31:48
less obsessed about me. And when you're in that state, I think your
31:52
behaviors tend to be much healthier, I would say. And so, yeah,
31:59
it's pretty fascinating. Yeah, well definitely, I mean I agree with
32:04
you. So what did you do to get yourself out of that? When
32:07
you're brushing your teeth? It was coming to observe that I was in that
32:13
state. It's that observing mind. Anytime that observing mind turns on, your
32:17
default mode switches off. So it turns out throughout the day our mind is
32:22
constantly shifting back and forth between the wandering mind on the one hand, or
32:29
the observing mind. It's either one is on or the other is on.
32:32
You don't have both on at the same time, right, And so the
32:37
way to snap yourself out of that that wandering mind is to become present and
32:42
observe. As soon as you become present and observe your mind, maybe just
32:45
by asking yourself, like am I at ease right now? What am I
32:49
thinking? You've gotten yourself out of that default mode. So part of this
32:53
is coming to build that observing mind. Build it like you would build a
32:58
muscle. Let's say you're getting ready for a marathon. You're practicing in the
33:01
same way you're building your mind. You're building that observing mind every day,
33:07
you know, twenty minutes of mindfulness, twenty minutes of prayer, focus exercises,
33:12
breathing exercises, what you're doing that time you invest, you're building that
33:15
observing mind, and the stronger it gets, the less time you're going to
33:20
spend in that default mode. So it sounds almost like an exercise. It's
33:25
like, just like anything else that you exercise, the more you do it,
33:29
the stronger you get. Right It's that simple. Yeah, really,
33:32
it's that simple. Yeah, it's that simple. But it's not easy,
33:37
rightful, But it's not easy. So you have to Yeah, because I
33:42
mean you may have to catch yourself a thousand times a day. Yeah,
33:45
And I have people, I have a lot of people saying, I can't
33:49
do mindfulness. I sit down, my thoughts race, I can't do it.
33:53
And what I tell them is, you're actually doing it. If you're
33:58
looking in your mind and you observe a mind that's really busy with a lot
34:01
of racing thoughts, and you observe that you're actually doing the mindfulness. You
34:07
just have to give it some time, give it some time. It's I
34:09
like, I like this analogy. It's like a really muddy lake after a
34:14
storm. You look at it, it's muddy, there's no clarity, but
34:17
just keep looking, keep observing, and what you'll notice is very very slowly
34:22
that mud starts to settle and that lake becomes clear. You have to give
34:27
it some time. Your mind will become clear. You've got to be patient
34:30
and give it some time, and just keep at it, keep keep with
34:34
that observing mind. And yeah, initially it's hard, but with daily practice
34:38
it gets easier and you'll be surprised. In a few weeks you'll have minutes,
34:44
let's say, of just clarity, and keep at it. After a
34:47
few months you'll have it'll last even longer. It is worth it, and
34:51
I I went through this a few years ago. It took me about six
34:55
months. I had, you know, I had all eleven of the knots
34:58
that I talk about in the book. And so this is also a kind
35:00
of a personal journey for me. But so to all those friends who say
35:06
I can't do mindfulness, I tell them, you are doing it. You
35:08
just have to give it some time and be patient and set your intention,
35:14
because you'll get there. It may take some time, but you'll get there.
35:19
Can you talk about what do you mean when you say eleven knots?
35:22
Can you share with us what that is? So I mentioned earlier in this
35:24
book, I don't call them diseases or syndromes or disorders. I call them
35:29
knots. And there's eleven of them that I talk about. And all of
35:34
these basically are created by the default mode network in some way. So it
35:38
starts off with stress. And for each of these there's kind of a remedy
35:43
so stress. And so for stress, which is not number one, I
35:46
walk through what is the science here? What is the science of stress?
35:51
What conditions can it lead to? Why is it bad for your health?
35:54
And how can you overcome it? So for stress, it's practicing what I
35:59
call mindful relaxation, which is spending those let's say, twenty minutes relaxing,
36:07
but doing it in a way that's mindful. So not let's say, taking
36:10
a bath and checking your phone the whole time, right, that's not mindful
36:14
relaxation. But whatever it is, whether it's I don't know, gardening or
36:20
going for a walk, but spending those twenty minutes as best as you can,
36:23
staying in that relaxed state, allowing your brain to create what's called gaba,
36:29
and that gabba actually protects you from stress. So and so that's not
36:34
number one, front and center. We all have it. Number two is
36:37
emotional pain, something we all have as well. I talked about the ultimate
36:43
remedy there, which is forgiveness. And then the third knot is I call
36:47
it addictive craving rather than addiction. It's a little softer of a term,
36:52
and addictive craving not just to drugs and alcohol, but craving for social media
36:58
or craving for information or money or shopping or any of the other thousands of
37:02
things. And so the remedy there is sort of surrendering and sort of relying
37:10
on that insightful awareness. So those are the first three and there are others,
37:16
but basically, once you get over those first three, it's a lot
37:22
easier to handle some of the other knots. And one of them is poor
37:25
lifestyle, which is around diet, sleep, and exercise. I put that
37:30
towards the back of the book because a lot of times, let's say,
37:34
keeping the weight off is hard because of stress or because of emotional pain.
37:39
Once you resolve that old emotional paint, it becomes a lot easier to lose
37:44
weight to keep the weight off, And so that one is towards the end
37:47
of the book, sort of that poor lifestyle. You know, Yeah,
37:52
no, that makes perfect sense to me, because you know, you're masking
37:58
a lot with food and addictions, Like you said, shopping. It could
38:02
be gambling shopping, it could be addicted to the television. You know,
38:06
it could be whatever it is. Because you're masking and you're just trying to
38:09
distract yourself from the pain that you may be in and the stress that you
38:15
have. You're not dealing with it. So yeah, I mean, trying
38:17
to diet when you're very stressed out, if weight is one of your issues,
38:22
I mean, it's like one of the hardest things to do, right.
38:24
Definitely, I mean, yeah, for me, it was I used
38:28
to be a smoker. I quitt quit years ago. But oh my god,
38:31
the hardest part of it was the psychological addiction. It wasn't the physical
38:36
addiction. It was it was stopping because I associated it to being a relaxation
38:45
for when I was stressed, and they came, they went. Yeah,
38:50
they went hand in hand, and I had to really break that pattern and
38:53
it and that took. That took a while for that. That's so.
38:59
Yeah. So stress, I put stress is number one, and the way
39:02
to overcome stress. I mentioned GABA. So let's say it's Friday night,
39:07
you had a long week and you want to relieve some stress. What is
39:10
like the fastest way to relieve that stress. It's grabbing a beer or a
39:14
glass of wine. Right, alcohol actually gets the GABA flowing and relaxes you.
39:20
Well, not very healthy in the long term, and obviously alcohol can
39:24
cause cancer and all kinds of problems. So I just give you the tools
39:29
to get that gab of flowing without smoking, without the alcohol, and once
39:35
you get your stress under control, like I mentioned before, you can overcome
39:39
that emotional pain, you can overcome that addiction. And then once you overcome
39:45
let's say, the addiction, then it becomes a lot easier to overcome negativity,
39:49
which is one of the other knots, or loneliness, which is one
39:53
of the other knots, or anxiety, which is one of the other knots.
39:57
So it's listed in a particular order. And yeah, the ultimate goal
40:02
of all of this is to, yeah, get you to be happy and
40:06
healthy in a way that's that's natural and and that's sustainable in the long term.
40:12
Basically, Yeah, So of all the nots, what do you think
40:15
is the biggest the biggest issue plaguing all of us? Is it stress?
40:22
I think it's stress right now. It's stress with all of our with all
40:25
of our you know, digital addictions we have, with what employers are now
40:30
requiring that you know, workers have they got to now be on all these
40:37
answering emails and multitasking. That just sets the brain up for stress. And
40:44
so by the end of the work, we all have so much stress and
40:46
we need a way of releasing it all and so we turn to the tub
40:51
of ice cream or we you know, it takes an emotional toll on us
40:55
and it gives us more anxiety, and then we have sleep problems, which
40:59
makes things worse. So I think learning to prevent stress from happening by spending
41:05
ten minutes in the morning getting the gaba flowing a ten minute breath exercise very
41:12
simple for seven eight breathing box. Breathing prevent stress from building during the day.
41:16
So if you do that in the morning, you do that in the
41:19
early afternoon, you'll see at the end of the workday you're not as stressed
41:22
out. And so but again, try this out for yourself. Try five
41:29
minutes you know of a breathing exercise and test yourself and see by the end
41:36
of the work week are you feeling a little better? Are you still reaching
41:38
for the bottle? So part of this is self discovery, is coming to
41:43
really understand your brain basically, yeah, because we're all different. So when
41:47
you keep saying gaba, can you share with us what do you mean by
41:51
gaba? For those who are like, what is he talking about? Yeah,
41:52
yeah, So your brain has about eighty six billion neurons. So these
41:59
neurons talk to each other, and so when you, let's say, scan
42:02
your TikTok or whatever, the neurons start to fire, and they fire through
42:07
a signal called glutamate. Glutamate is like a little chemical. It's how these
42:12
neurons talk to each other, it's how they fire. Gabba actually is the
42:15
opposite of that. Gaba slows the neurons down, prevents them from firing,
42:21
actually calms the brain down. So gabba is a little chemical that quiets the
42:27
mind, and you need it to fall asleep. So if you're addicted to
42:32
your phone, your brain can't get the gava going, you're going to have
42:36
a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep. So and gaba, it turns
42:40
out, is what alcohol releases also, which which relactes you. But it
42:45
turns out that doing a ten minute breath exercise or a mindfulness exercise or a
42:50
prayer also gets the gaba flowing. And so by getting this gaba flowing,
42:57
you're preventing stress from happening, you're calming the brain, you're improving your sleep,
43:02
and there's all kinds of other benefits from gabba. You can also take
43:07
gabba as a supplement, but that doesn't work nearly as well as let's say,
43:12
a prayer or a mindfulness or a breath exercise. Yeah, yeah,
43:15
some kind of mindfulness practice. Yeah, Because I've always had a hard time
43:22
quieting my mind. So I started, and I've talked about it on other
43:24
shows. I started going on these visual I'm a visual person, so I'm
43:28
a visual artist, so visualizing is easy for me. So I started going
43:31
on these visual journeys to places that I want to go, and I've noticed
43:36
that's helped tremendously on my daily stress because it's my morning mindfulness practice. You
43:43
know, I go on these journeys to places. That's right. Can you
44:00
hear me? Yeah, I can hear your So I was saying, yeah,
44:05
visualization, meditation, I have some of that in my book as well.
44:08
For me, personally, I'm more kind of auditory, like with hearing,
44:12
so I like to when I'm going for a walk, really listen to
44:16
every single sound around me that like instantly brings me into the present. Other
44:22
people, like you said, maybe they're more visual. Some people really connect
44:27
with prayer, which is basically, if you think about it, it is
44:30
a form of mindfulness where you come into the present moment fully accepting life as
44:36
it is, and sort of communicate with a higher power. So again,
44:38
we're all different, and part of this is really coming to see which of
44:43
these tools works best for you? Which of these tools gets the gap?
44:46
A flowing brings you into the present and shuts off that monkey mind. Yeah,
44:54
yeah, definitely. So I want to ask you, do you believe
44:59
in manifestation and that we can manifest the things that we want by our thoughts
45:07
and then of course our absolutely behaviors. Absolutely, I mean this is really
45:12
it goes to the power of intention. And when you you know, people
45:17
have said the more fervently, the more strongly you want something and believe in
45:22
something, the more likely it is to come true. So that intention is
45:27
critical if you don't have that intention. And it's not just a goal,
45:30
right, a goal. I want to lose five pounds, that's a goal,
45:35
and intention is sort of how do you want to live as you're accomplishing
45:39
that goal. Do you want to lose five pounds in a state of anxiety
45:44
or do you want to be in a state of peace? So I think
45:46
for me, I set on it every single day. Setting an intention for
45:51
inner peace for happiness is critical. Without it, the journey is really difficult
45:59
and a lot you know, Jesus said, seek and you shall find Rumy
46:04
said, you know, walk and the road appears they're all saying the same
46:07
thing. You got to have that intention and you may not know how this
46:12
will manifest or when, but as long as you keep it, it will
46:15
manifest somehow. Yeah, I mean obviously you know I believe that. So
46:23
so, how long ago did you start doing this work with the brain our
46:30
brains and start like looking at these and how this affects our behavior and our
46:34
emotions. Yeah, so well, I started. I started meditating daily,
46:40
I would say about ten years ago, and the studies around default mode network
46:47
it started off with plant medicines actually about ten Yeah, about ten years ago,
46:52
but it was only about two years ago that I would say I internally
46:58
had this I guess it's called an awakening kind of experience, and I really
47:02
came to understand my brain. What was different about two years ago is I
47:08
set that intention. I set that intention that I want to awaken. I
47:14
didn't know what the journey would look like, what would happen, And as
47:17
I mentioned, it took six months. But that's the difference because I have
47:23
been meditating for ten years, but it didn't really change my life until two
47:28
years ago, where I set this really sperm intention of wanting to awaken and
47:34
the process was a gradual but I came to really understand this monkey mind of
47:38
mine not at work, and it just made so much sense when I connected
47:45
it with the default Mode network. And I was shocked that so few people
47:51
have heard of this, that I wrote this book even with a full time
47:54
job and three young kids. It was really hard, but I had to
47:58
get this message out there. And yeah, hopefully more of your listeners will
48:02
start to learn about it. Yeah, that's that's why I'm here each week,
48:07
right, introducing guests like you. So, yeah, let's talk about
48:10
your book. So your book came out last year, you said Christmas?
48:14
Right? Is that what you're talking? Last year has been now? And
48:16
how has it? How have you been doing like book tours? How's the
48:21
book been doing? The book's been doing great. It's for some reason selling
48:24
pretty well in the UK. I don't know why that is. Maybe people
48:29
like to read there, I'm not sure. But no, I've been,
48:34
you know, folks have been telling me that it's it's helped them. I've
48:37
been on podcasts and the audiobook just came out last week actually, so it
48:43
is now available on audible. And yeah, I'll continue giving giving talks.
48:47
I was at a meditation retreat the other week called in Light Up in the
48:53
Bay Area. That was really fun, and so yeah, I'm what I
48:59
really they love to do is help the therapists, people who are out there
49:04
in the trenches trying to help people and helping them giving them the tools to
49:08
help their clients. That's what I really love to do. Yeah, And
49:13
I think that's really important because I think a lot of us we'll go to
49:19
a psychiatrist or a doctor and they don't get to the root of what's going
49:24
on, and we'll just get prescribed a drug, right, which I'm not
49:29
saying anything you shouldn't be on or you should I mean, I'm not saying
49:32
that, but that might not be for everybody, right, Some people need
49:37
other kinds of therapies. And getting to the source of how our mind works,
49:40
I believe is important no matter what kind of therapy you end up doing.
49:45
Wouldn't you agree? Absolutely absolutely? I think we got to take a
49:49
more holistic view, and doctors have to take a more holistic view while you're
49:53
prescribing that medicine. Maybe try I don't know, cognitive behavioral therapy, Try
49:59
a therapist, Maybe try vipasana, insight meditation, Maybe try going on a
50:05
retreat. I mean, there are so many different types of tools. Do
50:08
all of them. Don't just rely on the medication which is only masking your
50:13
symptoms. Yeah, yeah, and just do what until you find out what
50:19
works for you, right, Because like you said, I mean, what
50:21
works for you might not work for me. What works for me isn't going
50:23
to work for the next person. So we have to do some investigative work.
50:29
Right. We spend so much time at our jobs. If we just
50:31
spend a quarter of that amount of time on our own minds. I mean,
50:36
I think you know, we could do so much more, right if
50:38
we gave ourselves that much attention. Yeah, that's right, and we would
50:45
all awaken and the world would be a much happier place. I can tell
50:46
you that, I know I agree with you. So we have like what
50:53
I think, like five minutes left. Is there anything did you want to
50:59
share with us from your book that we didn't really get a chance to touch
51:01
on that you feel is important. Well, I the very last nod in
51:07
the book is resistance to change. And so even if you have fully let's
51:13
say, awakened, and you've overcome all of your issues. Well, life
51:16
is unpredictable, unfortunately, and we may get into an accident or something may
51:22
happen that pulls us back into our old ways. So developing your resilience and
51:29
active, actively developing that so that it's ready when the hard times come very
51:34
important. So there are a lot of different ways of doing that, including
51:37
spirituality or work, being in a support group, or building your social bonds,
51:44
a lot of different ways of building resilience, but really important even if
51:47
you've you know, sort of fully awakened. But yeah, no, the
51:52
website for the book I think you mentioned is your default mode dot com.
51:55
You can actually start reading it for free there and all my sort of social
52:00
media handles are on bottom of the page there as well. And yeah,
52:05
I really hope this book helps some folks out there. Would love any feedback
52:08
on it, and yeah, and happy to answer any questions you have.
52:15
Great, And are you do you do guest speaking or do you have yourself
52:22
set up for that or are you open to that? Definitely open for it.
52:27
Yeah, I'm definitely open for any sort of yeah, guest speaking seminars,
52:31
Happy to share any of the of the science here. It's it's it's
52:37
pretty exciting to have this the story to tell and be able to teach people
52:42
out there. So yeah, happy to be involved. Yeah. Well,
52:45
I mean I don't know if you followed Joe Dispensa, but he also has
52:50
a lot of science behind what the work that he's doing too, which is
52:53
fascinating about healing your body. So yeah, I mean science is catching up,
52:59
which is great. I love it. Now do you You said you
53:02
mentioned when you were writing your book, you said you have three small children.
53:06
So what are you teaching your children about mindfulness? Do they have a
53:12
practice? You know, it's interesting. Just just kind of watching their brains
53:17
develop is just so amazing. I've got yeah, I've got a six year
53:22
old, a three year old and a six month old and wow, you
53:25
know the Yeah, the six month old and the three year old, they
53:29
are just they don't have a default mode network yet, fully present, playful,
53:35
curious. Oh, it's just amazing. The six year old starting to
53:38
see it, starting to see it develop, and it's just amazing to see.
53:43
So I'm just trying to set an example by being a mindful parent and
53:47
not being too reactive and judgmental. It's it's hard sometimes, obviously, and
53:54
I and you know, I have sort of done some mindfulness with them a
53:59
few times, but I'm trying to lead sort of by example. And but
54:05
and I think part of this book was writing it for them so that one
54:08
day they would have the tools. I wish I had a book like this
54:12
when I was in my twenties and thirties. Yeah, but hopefully for them
54:15
and their generation, we've got a lot more tools now and uh, and
54:20
there isn't that stigma that that we grew up with. And hopefully it's a
54:24
much you know, a healthier place to uh, just to be able to
54:29
share any issues and resolve any issues. So well, yeah, and imagine,
54:36
I mean I've read stories where they've done studies of teaching you know,
54:39
kids in kindergarten mindfulness and how much how beneficial that is. So I really
54:47
think that we should start when they're very little. Yeah, actually might help
54:52
it health your adults. My six year old has a class called Yoga and
54:57
Chocolate and she is actually I love it, knows a lot more yoga than
55:00
I do. And yeah, actually there are studies showing that kids who do
55:06
mindfulness actually sleep about an hour more per night and seem to be a lot
55:12
healthier mentally. So this this generation is going to be totally different than the
55:16
way we were raised. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with you.
55:22
And that's that's exciting to think about, because you know, when people
55:27
look at the world, you always think you you know, like you said,
55:30
we default to the negative, right, but there's a lot of good
55:32
things going on in the world and we have to remember that and focus more
55:36
on that. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, what a shame that the
55:40
nightly news starts with the absolute worst storyline, right, I know, hopefully
55:45
it won't as they grow up. Well, thank you so much. It
55:49
has been such a pleasure talking with you today. All Right, everybody just
55:53
go connect. Yeah, go check out his book. Thanks for listening to
55:58
Postcards to the Universe with Melissa in The Life You Crave. Wishing everyone a
56:01
wonderful week filled with joy, abundance and love. Peace,