Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / Sacred Legacy - Parenting with Authenticity and Acceptance

Transcript

Sacred Legacy - Parenting with Authenticity and Acceptance · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Mystic Nerd Squad podcast.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson, and I'm here tonight with a very special guest for whom this is the first of podcasts, many to come, I'm sure.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: And tonight we are going to be talking about parenting with authenticity, authenticity, easy for me to say, and acceptance.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome, Angela.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: And before you say hello to the listeners, I just want to read your bio so people get a flavor of who you are.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Angela Billings lives on the magical Oregon coast where the forest meets the sea.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: She enjoys piecing together jigsaw puzzles, a good cup of coffee, and moon rises.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: You may find her contemplating life, wandering amidst the giant redwoods or hanging out in Neptune energy at the seashore.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, Angela.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, that bio.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: I can we just dissect it for a minute.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sure.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you so much for having me, Kelly.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's so exciting to be here.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so thrilled to have you.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: For those of you who have been listening to the podcast, um, Angela is also known as Zanny from the fantastic book Sacred Legacy.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, back in the fall, I spoke with her daughter Amber about the book.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: So if you haven't listened to that episode, go ahead back.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I have the grandmother energy of the book Sacred Legacy.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to go back to your bio because I want to know where did you learn to write such a delicious bio?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's like probably the like most I feel like I feel like I'm there.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: I see it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like breathing the sea air.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: How did you learn to do this?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it just opening to spirit and what comes through is where that came from.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's true.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I love, I just love being there with the ocean in front of me and feeling that vast energy in the water with the trees right at my back.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: It just is so symbolic of being supported and held by the universe and gives me the um energy and the strength to support and hold others.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I just love it here.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I feel so blessed to be in this magical part of the world.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, it feels magical.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I just um in August, I went with my family to see the Sequoia trees.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: We went to Sequoia National Park, and I can't even tell you the how it felt.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you can only, if only you've been with that big a tree, you can you know how it feels.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, first of all, you get close to them and you just feel their energy and their souls, and you look up and you just can't even contemplate their size.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then what's amazing to me is they're so still.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, their roots are digging in and holding on and connecting and electrically talking to each other, but yet they can sway with the wind and be flexible.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they teach so much, and I feel like I'm in the presence of such wisdom when I'm with them.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And even the ones that have fallen, they're there giving life to all of their family.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're reminding me of the chills I feel whenever I walk into the Redwoods.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's yeah, I and people might not know if you go to Sequoia National Park, it it's also a national forest.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And in addition to the Sequoia trees, there's also Redwood trees, which I didn't know, but when I went, I was like, I get to see both.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: This is so exciting.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Connected.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they're related, they're cousins to each other.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So the Avenue of the Giants, which is also a national park.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's just it's it's like nothing else I've ever done.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'm very excited to hear that.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And the idea of having number one, the seashore, which I love the ocean, a good cup of coffee, love that, and then a jigsaw puzzle.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I think we need to meet.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'll come over to your coast, and we need to sit and have coffee and do a jigsaw puzzle with the trees behind us and the ocean in front of us.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like would be a dream, right?
• 5:12
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I really feel like this book that you did with three generations was so special.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt really excited because you had the version on Audible.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm a huge Audible listener.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't only that you guys decided to put your work on Audible, but the three of you also voiced the whole thing and read your chapters.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: And there's something to me that's so special about hearing the voice of the actual author.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: So, how was that experience for you?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: Number one, like the audible experience, which is completely, you know, aside from the whole writing experience, but the experience of writing with your daughter and your granddaughter.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: How was that?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I like to remind people that we are still talking to each other after that experience.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: There were days there that I think we all wondered about that, but it has it was such a healing journey.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um, Amber and I are closer than we've ever been in our lives.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: We healed so much and learned so much about each other, and bless her heart.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: She was just so brilliant at finding the middle way because I've I've been an accountant for 45 years, so I come with this real orderly.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have an outline and we're gonna follow the outline and we're gonna do everything in order.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And my granddaughter Jules is she just goes with the flow, it's unbelievable.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we have we have different language.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're 40 years apart, we're three generations here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean, I grew up with a landline and math teachers that said you have to learn all the math in your head because you'll never have a calculator with you.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: We all now have a whole calculator.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I mean, she's grown up with entirely different energy.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we we wrote the book a few times, and Amber kept guiding us into this is how all three of our stories will blend together.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so healing and learning, you know, the different languages that we use and the different generational understandings that we have, and being able to have those courageous conversations and work through the challenges.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there were times that it was really good that we lived two states apart.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um the audible was definitely challenged because my computer and microphone setup was very different than theirs, and then trying to get everything modulated.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jules was our brilliant um editor for all the audio, and she just did a great job on that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I listened to it and I was like, wow, this is this is actually okay.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait, maybe this is good.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: It was fantastic.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: It was so good, it was so well done and so well blended, and I really felt like I was I was at the edge of my seat.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like I wanted to hear what happened next, and I wanted to hear the perspective.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: And you were all three of you so incredibly vulnerable in your storytelling, and you went to a level of depth that I think in a typical conversation we wouldn't.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: You sort of were able to out yourselves in in terms of how you were really feeling and what you really went through, and things that you know were tragic and sad and challenging and could be embarrassing to other people.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: To us too.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: But how how does it feel on the other side of that?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: What has been the the reception of your stories from other people?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I really thought while we were writing that we were pulling back from the vulnerability because we wanted to be very respectful of anybody that we were talking about or anybody that had I that wasn't the intention of the book.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: It was a healing journey.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we wanted to modulate that.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I have gotten a lot of feedback of how vulnerable it felt.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I it really feels good to have found that balance.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, everything in life is about finding that balance of being there and being authentic and being present and willing to have the courageous conversations and the vulnerability while also honoring everybody else, because it's not about blame, it's about being in the flow and being authentic and accepting and supporting each other.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: And that and that was so clear through the story.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, the conscious decision that you made, you know, for your own healing, and now you have this gorgeous book that tells the stories of the generational healing coming down.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, how how proud do you feel of this?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: You've got to be like dancing on sunbeams or something.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the most magical part about it for me was I got to be with the great-granddaughter on her first birthday.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and you know, I got to have that thoughts of I wish I'd had this experience with my daughter and my granddaughter.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I got to see a baby, a one-year-old, that felt totally secure and attached.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: She just absolutely knows that she is loved and cared for.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And to have that healing come through and have her life be that way, it just is worth everything.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is so magical.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: It has to feel that way.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I know anyone who's listening to this has been on some version of a healing journey.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: And when you reach that point that you realize it's not even about you, that it's it's what you're doing for so many ancestors that came before you, that will come after you, what you're doing for your children and your grandchildren.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I I think even last week I was speaking with April Porter and she wrote a book on human design for for parents for working with your children.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just thinking to myself, like, how amazing will it be for our children and their children and their children's children who have come through this approach of authenticity and healing and willingness to address the things that we need to address and still like celebrate the uniqueness of each of us.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's so valuable.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we are all unique and and it's never too late to heal.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um I didn't know have all the tools or know all of the information.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I still don't, but I didn't know as much when I was a new mother as I do now.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And yet Amber and I can still work on our healing of our relationship.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I do um compassionate inquiry, and I just did work with my two-year-old inner self just yesterday.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it's never too late.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's always the opportunity to bond deeper with ourselves and with our children and our parents.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And there's always the opportunity to heal.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's never too late.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I love that.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I know people are listening and they just heard you talk about, you know, healing with your inner two-year-old.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: So what does that look like?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think I think when we talk about parenting, we're thinking about like the practicality of like actual, you know, you're the parent, you have children.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I think there's so much to be gained from working with our own inner child and healing some of those wounds.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: So, what does that look like for you?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the outcome, I think, the more that we can heal those deep wounds, and there are a lot that come in when we're very young, the more that we can be there as our adult selves for our younger selves in a way that maybe our caretakers weren't, the less we're triggered by those reactions, unconscious reactions later in life.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if I can help heal that original core wound and the coping mechanisms that I found through that, then I'm not gonna yell at a coworker when they do something that I think stupid.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can find compassion for myself and for them.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or partner or anybody that you're in relationship with.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we all know that it's not about the toothpaste or the toilet paper.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what's deep in us that's hurt and wounded and still needs to be cared for and loved.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we can give that to ourselves.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: We can go in and have a dialogue with our two-year-old or our five-year-old or the middle schooler that's been bullied that you know, here's I understand, I see you, I hear you, I love you.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we can just say that to ourselves and embody the healing.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um I love that.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's one of my favorite healing practices, and it's so interesting because I feel like it's it's sort of like the matrix where you start to see, like, oh, that's a trigger, that's a trigger, I'm triggering you, you're triggering me.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: We're not even talking to each other as full adults.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Our children are talking to each other or inner children.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: So um it's such a great thing to build some awareness around.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I love the term compassionate inquiry.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: So if people haven't heard that term before, where was that born and and what exactly does it mean?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Compassionate inquiry comes from the work of Gabor Matei.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he's done um books on parenting, you know, to hold on to your children.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's done books on healing your body, and his most recent book is The Myth of Normal.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been through his year-long program that just teaches us to stop and check in with our body.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I feel tension?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: What's this really about for me that I'm not reacting unconsciously, that I can make choices in the world?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been oh, the most amazing journey.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: It helped a lot with the book.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of the information that um he taught helped me with the research for parts of the things that I share in the book.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's changed my life.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I I think that is such a huge thing because we're often so unconscious and detached from what's happening in our bodies.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's so easy to just react and go, Well, they made me mad.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's me.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm triggering myself.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I just heard what they said and it triggered something.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so being more present and less of a human doing and more of a human being.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely into being more the being than the doing.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's like one of the greatest journeys that one can take to sort of figure out how do I be less do.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, especially those of us who are either type A personalities or we've always felt like performing and practicing and doing things kind of wraps up in our worth.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm I'm worth something because I've achieved this, because I've done this, because I've, you know, and I it's such an easy thing to get caught up in that we lose track of.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: I is I don't even know how I feel about all this.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: Is it is it really reinforcing anything positive for me?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important to find a practice to take time with ourselves every day, whether that's meditation or compassionate inquiry or yoga or whatever speaks to you in your spiritual truths, but to find that and to just be present with ourselves.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's way too easy to forget that.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: It really is.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: I agree with you.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I know for myself, I've I took a nice big chunk of a break this, you know, past season from like the end of November through into January, and it was really nice.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I reduced the amount of doing, and I did a lot more let's be present, let's be.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, you know what?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: I want to enjoy the holiday season.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to feel like I have so many things on my plate.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just like zipping through it, and it was really lovely.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I took a social media break.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't doing a lot of the things that I usually do.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: And it was such a breath of fresh air.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I think what's interesting for me as a typically a very busy doing a lot of things kind of person, I find myself more choosy with what I want to do.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, do I really want to do that?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Is that really how I want to spend my time?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Or is there something else I want to do or not do?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Do I want to just rest and put my feet up and sit in quiet contemplation and let my mind just relax?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliant.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: We all need to take that lesson in and go, where do I need to take a break and take care of myself and enjoy life more?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: How can I support myself and support my family?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: And it made me realize how much that impacts the people that are most important in your life, that that presence with them and availability and not packing our schedules so much that we don't have that availability.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:05
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, what would a practice of compassionate inquiry look like, like practically, if somebody wanted to do like a quick check-in, whether they're feeling in a state of stress, or if they're just like, I just need to take a moment for myself?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I always just start with the breath and follow my breath and go in and just notice my body.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just what do I feel?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do I feel tension in my chest?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I'm just retiring from 45 years of accounting.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've noticed in my compassionate inquiry is my shoulders are lighter.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm no longer carrying the weight of all of the work that um and that comes up every time I go in now.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, my shoulders feel better.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, what do my toes feel like?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: How are my feet connected to the ground?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: How is my chair supporting me?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Just to feel into that.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's any tension that comes up, then it's like, okay, what's this about?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is there an emotion?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a feeling?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something that needs to be said here?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a part of me that's triggered?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: And just process through that.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Most often it's done with a practitioner, but we can do it by self-inquiry for ourselves too.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And just always remembering, you know, I may come up with something that, oh, I was just a real honorary person yesterday.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I find compassion for myself and understand that that was my triggered little girl that was not happy with what was happening?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she just needed love and compassion.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it's okay.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: I may owe somebody an apology, and that's okay.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I need to have compassion for myself and compassion for others and compassion for whatever the situation is.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that can be such a such a hard thing, especially if we hold ourselves to really high standards, or we just can't let ourselves off the hook if we made a mistake.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: I made lots of mistakes as a young mother, trying to learn things.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you just try to get better.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: The more you know, the better you can be, and just build upon it and have forgiveness for the mistakes that were made.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I jokingly I'll tell the kids when they tell me something stupid that I did as a mother, say, Oh, yep, I owe you another year of therapy for that one.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: So true, right?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be easy.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: They get that I understand that I wasn't perfect, and of course I wasn't.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so be patient with ourselves, especially raising our children.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: I I think what I've sort of learned to do myself is more like admitting when I'm just not doing a great job with something to my son and just saying, wow, I didn't do good at that at all.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: That was let's try that again.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, almost stressed that day and it wasn't fair to you.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so how can we make up for that?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's never too late.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: No, and well, and thank you for showing us that.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because as you said, you know, there was a lot of healing available for you and Amber, even in writing the book about, you know, your healing journeys.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: There was still more healing happening.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I I really love that.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, I really got the sense that your family truly enjoys each other's company.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there was a lot of humor, a lot of like funny and silly moments.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that bonds families together too.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like that life doesn't always have to be so serious.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we I think it's too easy for all of us to take ourselves too seriously.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: And humor can it really is.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Laughter is the best medicine.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's really valuable.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: As long as it's authentic humor.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then you know, right, right.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not right owning, but yeah.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm talking more about like what I find that's really fun in terms of humor is I I'm just thinking back over the holiday of my Brother and his family came out from California.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm in New Jersey.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: And we were all together on New Year's Eve with a bunch of kids and you know, parents and my dad.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so all of us together, um, we had some different games that we were playing, and there were some new games that some of us hadn't played, and some of them were just downright silly.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: And as adults, we were just playing the games and just laughing till our bellies hurt.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we had a dance party one day, and we just like we had glow sticks and music playing, and we just danced like fools and laughed.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's just like the most healing thing to feel that comfort to just be a dancing fool or being really silly together and enjoying it.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: What a great way to bond as a family.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I I I think that I saw a lot in the book.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: And you seem to be the instigator of some of the humorous moments.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guilty.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we um holidays get so stressful.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And when I moved to the coast, we started doing a family tradition where we would do a vacation together and have our holiday experience just as the family in different locations.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: And we always do some fun things with that.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's different in different places, but there's always games, there's always jigsaw puzzle out, there's always lots of good coffee and um different games that different people bring, or a scavenger hunt, or just a hike, or geocaching, or something.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: We always have fun running through the sprinklers.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love doing that still.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's so funny.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I I can totally relate to that.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: We're actually, you know, talking about next holiday season, taking like a trip and going someplace and spending the holiday.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: We actually didn't, between my siblings and like my siblings and our kids, we were like, we're not buying presents for everybody.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's just not necessary.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we're gonna just spend time together, do the things we want to do, eat good food.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: And that was like the the priority for us.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, we don't need to have a whole bunch of presents to open.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's just consumerism, whereas we can share experiences and time with each other that's so much more valuable, bonds, and builds our relationships so much deeper.
• 26:29
  unknown: Absolutely.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm right there with you.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: So very excited for that.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: We haven't we've only just begun planning, but we know we all want to be together and enjoy as much time together as possible, possibly at a beach.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, we could do a beach this time.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so tell me a little bit more about how you moved through in your adult life, going from, you know, like you said, you know, not being a perfect parent, making mistakes, and going into like a true healing journey where you shifted how you were operating as a parent.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the first step was just making the decision to do it.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And workshops and books and dragging the kids to the metaphysical bookstore was certainly one of my pastimes when they were young.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um being authentic.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we of course had the challenges when they were teenagers and I wanted to ring their neck and I didn't.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that's always a plus.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then as adults, just accepting and supporting each other.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to understand why they make the decisions that they do.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to tell them how to live their life.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've raised them.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: I trust that they've learned how to live their own life.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to support them however I can.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that makes a huge difference to not have the nagging and the judgment and all of that in there.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: But just how can I support you in what you're doing?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I agree 100%.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: I've I feel like, you know, my parents were like that.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting because I think they just got me, you know, when I was younger.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like I was probably like 15 or 16 when they really stopped telling me what to do and just more were open and ready to listen.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: But it was very rare that they'd say, you should do X, Y, Z.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I I appreciate that so much because I feel like I got to figure things out for myself and make choices and decisions, live with the natural consequences.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was very good, kid.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, it wasn't like I was getting into trouble and they just let me go and get into trouble.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: I was good.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: I was like 16 and I was like, I think I should meet with my guidance counselor so I can plan what I want to go to college for.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you had the freedom to make those choices without having to rebel against them.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like for me as an individual, that's what I needed.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't need somebody to tell me what to do.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_02: I needed the freedom to figure it out for myself.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it just made me feel like realizing that.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, you realize so much more in hindsight than in the moment.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I I can see those, those things that are so unique in my son that I want to make sure I'm honoring.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, it might not be the way I would do it or how I would approach something, but allowing that individuality is so important, I think.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I really pay attention to my dreams too.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: It really helps me stay on track.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I love leading dream groups where we share our dreams and project upon each other's dreams and get ahas from that.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's so valuable.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a good way to listen to my soul.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: So when you say dreams, you're you're like actually asleep and dreaming versus like your vision for things.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's really cool.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm writing down what the dream message was or incubating, going to bed.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: We actually use that for the book, or at least I did for the parts that I wrote in the book, would have a question on my mind.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what needs to come through here?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I would wake up with ideas and wow that and yeah.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_02: That is really cool.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: I I do have some very interesting dreams that don't make any sense at all to me a lot of the time.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: And and then there are times where I'll wake up from a dream with more of a feeling of the dream than like the details.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's just very interesting.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Either way works, you know.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's the message.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: What why am I feeling this way?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: What does this symbolize in my life?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening here?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: I need to pay more attention to those things because it's always very fascinating.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: It has probably been the single thing that I have done consistently that has contributed the most to my healing practice.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's very interesting.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: So, would you recommend people keep a dream journal, like something that they fill in when they first wake up?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or it helps to remember them and captures much of the dream.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I actually hold dream circles um every open to anybody that wants to join.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: No charge, just try to experience it on the third Saturdays of every month.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: And anybody's welcome to join to get a Zoom link.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And um that's really cool.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, it feeds my soul.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's yeah, it's been something I've done for years and years and years.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Very cool.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, it makes me think like there's just so much incredible potential for learning and growing just in your natural experience as a human being, and supporting each other.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's usually a small group and we're supporting and we care about each other and we hear each other.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that's just really valuable.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I love it.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Amber will call me and say, I had a dream last night.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, tell me about it.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'll call her.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I dreamed last night.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's bonding and helping to build the relationship too.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: So what's coming next for this book?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we've had such good feedback.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're uh we're actually working on a workbook to help people go through their own and find their own processes to heal relationships and family.
• 32:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's one thing I thought was really special about the book is that you took a lot of time in the last chapters in the book to go over some healing opportunities and talking about some different ways that you could take the lessons from the book and implement them in your own life.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that was a really unique kind of a choice for the book.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: You could have just sort of ended at the end, and I won't I don't want to spoil any of the details of the book because people should really read it.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: But there's some beautiful magical moments that happen towards the end of the book that you share.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but you could have stopped there, but you didn't stop there.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: You you you had more to offer the reader, which I think was so special.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's definitely the intent of healing and supporting each other and hoping that maybe somebody else will find it helpful too.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so the the appendixes that have the different ways that we found really valuable.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it added to it.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, thank you for that.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, so many people, you you read these inspiring books and you're like, what do I do now?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: How do I take this and implement it in my life?
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: So that was wonderful.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sure the workbook is going to be really special.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just gonna stretch that out, and here's specific details on how to do different things.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them will work for people, some of them won't resonate as much, and that's okay.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: You pick and choose what you want.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: So, do you have any other plans for authorship?
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: Anything else you're working on?
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, not that I'm ready to share yet, but there's a couple of things incubating here.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll be on this fall and talk about what's coming up.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, now that I'm switching from that full-time job to having more time to allow spirit to flow through and share what's helpful for me and helpful for others.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is sacred spaces, visiting sacred spaces is part of it.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's really I that sounds very exciting.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's like a nice little teaser there for everybody.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I just want to congratulate you on your retirement um as of the end of this week.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, I mean, people might be listening in the future, and and you've already been celebrating your retirement for a a period of time.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, what what are you most looking forward to?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm most looking forward to being authentically present more.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I could just do it for a minute more each day.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um there there's just so much around the jobby job requirements of doing things.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to be a human being and share my spirit.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I think it's the most important thing that each of us can do to help heal the planet and heal the divisive divisiveness within our communities is to find a way to be compassionate and authentic within ourselves.
• 35:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to spend more time doing that and sharing that with others.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I love that.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds delightful.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds like such a nice way to spend your time and um any travel plans for you, any places that you're looking forward to seeing?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, of course, I'm going to the Redwoods next month.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's my retirement parties with the trees.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, and visiting the kids.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we are going to an Oregon place that has a the most fun miniature golf.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's a putting green.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: We just laugh so hard when we play that as a family.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's who can get in each other's way and who can support each other.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of fun.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Looking forward to that.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to Ireland next year.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: So oh my gosh.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I've I've been to Ireland.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: I love Ireland.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait to go back.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I have I have ancestry from Ireland.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: So that gets exciting for me too.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: So where will you be traveling in Ireland?
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're still working out the details.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's kind of a family negotiation that's important to each person.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: And but that's going to be our family vacation next year.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to go international again.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds dreamy.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: And Ireland is beautiful.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: The people are wonderful.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, I did a I this is kind of a funny story.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: I got divorced from my first husband.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it's going back, this is in 2006.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm going on a trip, I'm going by myself, I'm going to Ireland.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_02: I always wanted to go, so I did.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody was like, You're going by yourself.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, well, I booked like a group trip, so there were people, and I actually made some wonderful friends.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: Some um, there was a bunch of women from um Canada from different parts again.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't know each other, but it was like a popular group that people from all over the world.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: So there were people from all over the world.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was a tour, so like you kind of we started in Dublin and came down south and up.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I got to see so much.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: It was I I will say my favorite thing wherever we went was to find a little bakery or bake shop and get like just like a cup of tea and a piece of pie and like just sit and appreciate the the scenery, the architecture.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um that was fantastic.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can go see Blarney Castle, the grounds of Blarney Castle feel like a fairy tale to me.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely on the list for me.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_02: So anything else you can you can tell us about the book or any great pieces of advice for parents?
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, it's certainly been a journey.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had friends that read it that know the accounting me, and they're like, oh, this actually turned out pretty good, and that was kind of fun.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: What touches my heart the most is the mother-daughters that read the book together and that they've shared that it's changing their life and that they're seeing other ways to be in relationship with each other.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that there's quite a few parts of the book that we share pieces of that.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: Angela, I'm so glad you came to share what you're up to and talk about the book.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm so thrilled that you get to experience being uh in your retirement.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm definitely excited to hear what writing projects are coming up in the future and um to hear all about the workbook when that comes out.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'll definitely be getting a copy of that.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: It sounds like a lot of fun.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I just want to thank you for being here.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: And is there any way that um you'd like people to connect with you or find you if they want to hear more about your journey?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: I actually have two websites I want to share.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: My website is sacred door, and there's two D's in it.org.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where you can sign up for dream work if you want to do that.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then um Mystic Meadows Healing, there is a section in there on Sacred Door.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's um some free bonding tips on there that you can download.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've read the book or listened to the book and you want to see, there's pictures of me dressed up for the fair and um pictures of some of the things in Guatemala that the kids did and a video that the grandkids made.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's there's some fun stuff in there if you want to go out there.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_02: I I definitely did check it out.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, this is like so exciting, like keeping the the experience of the book going just a little bit further.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_02: Super fun.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm just I feel so lucky to have spent some time with you, gotten to know you, and I can't wait to hear what comes next.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: And again, congratulations on your retirement.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and thanks for being on.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_02: Any final words for everybody?
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much, and everybody have a blessed day.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: Just be you.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: That no better advice to give.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I always tell people remember to follow your curiosity.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: You never know where it's gonna take you.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: All right, everyone.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: Take care.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Angela.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: Bye now.