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Bullied Nostalgia: Christmas in Wonderland · Bullied Nostalgia

0:00
So. Many of our favors to watch
0:03
we'll look now they're being. Bashed, I guess.
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That's what we should expect on the Bully Nostalgia Podcast.
0:16
Hello everyone, we're back with another episode of the podcast.
0:21
Today I'm joined by John. Hey.
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Kylin Hi and chance. That's.
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Me. I expected John to go into a
0:32
chatty rant there for a second, which is why I picked him first,
0:36
but today's podcast episode is a little bit different.
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We're doing a Christmas episode, but not really one that truly
0:47
fits into our bullied nostalgia concept, and that's because.
0:54
None of us are nostalgic about this.
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Movie. Yes, but any Christmas movie or
1:01
TV show that John and I would be nostalgic about, the boys have
1:05
already seen? Yeah, their mom loves Christmas
1:09
movies. And so they have all of them.
1:13
So rather than watch a movie that John and I had some
1:17
nostalgic feelings towards, that the boys had already seen, this
1:22
movie is something that we introduced the boys to a number
1:27
of years ago, I think maybe five years ago or so, and so now,
1:31
whenever we want to ruin the Christmas.
1:32
Season we get together. When we watch this movie,
1:35
today's episode is going to be based on a movie called
1:39
Christmas in Wonder. Land, which is a movie from 2007
1:45
that is essentially home alone if it took place in West
1:49
Edmonton Mall. West Edmonton Mall is the
1:54
largest mall in North America. It's only about a four and a
1:59
half hour drive from where we live.
2:02
And while this movie doesn't carry nostalgia for us, the mall
2:05
does. Yes, so certainly there are
2:08
references throughout the movie to Booster Juice.
2:13
Well, let's not spoil the only thing John wants to talk about
2:17
later. Yes, so this movie certainly has
2:20
a decent amount of nostalgia baked into it, even though.
2:24
It means nothing to any of our childhoods.
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We would have watched this movie initially, pretty close to when
2:31
it came out, John and Robin and I, and then John and I would
2:36
introduce it to the boys probably about five years ago
2:41
and we're back. Can't get enough?
2:45
So it's that time of the podcast.
2:49
Chance, why don't you tell us what this movie is about?
2:54
All right, so the movie starts out with a father and his three
2:59
children. Their mom is not able to come
3:01
for Christmas that year because she is held about a flight, so
3:04
they have to go get presents by themselves.
3:07
Also, the family is broke. The dad decides to leave the
3:10
kids by themselves with Santa while he goes and gets presents.
3:16
As it turns out, the eldest son decides to abandon Mary and
3:19
Brian. In order to go.
3:20
Do his own thing and find women. And find women.
3:24
Yes, well, Mary and Brian counter a gang of thugs who have
3:34
this long plan in order to use counterfeit money in order to
3:37
make a lot of money through. Tricking them into giving them
3:41
back, Yep, but Mary and Brian accidentally.
3:44
End up with the. $1,000,000 in cash.
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They have. So then shenanigans incur.
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Dad gets blamed for counterfeiting, rig the goons
3:52
try to capture Mary and Brian. Eventually the eldest gets it
3:55
captured. And then it ends with a final
3:58
Marion Brian versus the thugs in a Home Alone esque duel.
4:04
Or eventually the ones are captured and Marion Brian get
4:07
off Scott free. I do have an issue with the Home
4:09
Alone duel thing. Because.
4:12
It's barely planned beforehand. Well, like, that's the thing we
4:15
get into that this is Home Alone.
4:17
There's so many tropes that it pulls directly from right in
4:23
Home Alone. Mom is trying to get her way
4:27
back to Kevin. She's at the airport.
4:30
She does anything to try and travel back and make it to him
4:34
in time. She arrives on Christmas morning
4:37
to see him. In Home Alone movies, the Kid or
4:41
Kevin McAllister will befriend an old person, often with an
4:45
animal gimmick like the Lady with the Doves, and they'll
4:48
protect him. In this movie, the bad guys are
4:51
chasing them through the basement, and an old man with a
4:55
wolf defends this mare dog. She befriends him.
4:59
His name is Bob. There's the gimmicks where he
5:01
lays out fish for Chris Catan to slip on into a Shark Tank.
5:07
And stuff like that. In pong balls.
5:09
Ping. Ping pong.
5:11
Golf balls. Exactly.
5:13
Every part of this is borrowed from Home Alone.
5:17
People have brought that up a bunch of times.
5:19
As to why these actors and actresses would sign on to do
5:24
this bad movie. The reason for me is.
5:28
If you were to tell me you were making the next Home Alone
5:30
movie, but you up the ante by having it in the largest mall in
5:34
the world, that on paper, seems like a winning formula.
5:40
Yeah. And you can definitely tell
5:41
because. Of some of the.
5:42
Actors, they have like they have Tim Curry, Chris Catan.
5:45
Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze.
5:47
Yep. And those are.
5:48
Carmen Electra. It's very loud.
5:52
Matthew Walker. They have some great big.
5:56
Hitters. Oh, no, yeah.
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Matthew Knight, yeah. And some of them.
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Unfortunately are wasted a. Little.
6:01
Bit probably the biggest offense.
6:02
This is Tim Curry. His whole role is a reoccurring
6:06
joke that he miss, remembers, or mispronounces people's names,
6:11
and it's not a funny joke the first time.
6:16
In the 80th time, Yeah. It's really, it's really
6:19
grinding. It's very long, largely.
6:24
There's some really good actors in this movie that are doing
6:29
their best with a script that baffles me.
6:34
Say that someone was paid to write it.
6:37
It's very bad. Yep.
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I think it was really funny watching Tim Curry try to give a
6:41
compliment to this movie at some point.
6:43
Yeah, we watched the. The cast interviews, cast
6:46
interviews after the movie, and you can tell there's some really
6:49
interesting views on it. I personally found Chris Catan's
6:52
view of the movie hilarious. Yeah, I mean, Chris was just
6:56
joking. Why did you want to do this
6:58
movie? He said it's filmed in color, so
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that's exciting. So there's one character that we
7:08
never talk about and that's Shane.
7:10
Shane, the love interest for the eldest son.
7:14
She's played by Mackenzie Porter, who is the younger
7:19
sister of Kaylin Porter. Oh my goodness.
7:23
This is several layers deep into this conversation.
7:27
Kylin, her older brother, affected the spelling of your
7:31
name. No.
7:35
He was the winner of Canadian Idol season four and I wanted to
7:42
spell your name, Kai. But Kaylin Porter was pretty
7:48
popular at the time, and your mom was nervous that people
7:52
would mispronounce your name as Kaylin instead of Kylin.
7:57
So this family is to blame for that.
8:02
She, as an adult would be in the show Travelers, which I of
8:08
course have a bias to because it's a time travel show, but in
8:13
Travelers. People from the future, in an
8:17
effort to save the world, send their consciousness back into
8:24
the bodies of people now. So it's supposed to be people
8:28
who were about to die. And so then they send their
8:33
consciousness back into this person so that they can change
8:37
the timeline for the better, using a body to someone who
8:42
wouldn't be alive to use it anyways.
8:45
And she is one of the main characters.
8:47
In it, she plays a mentally disabled woman who gets taken by
8:54
a brilliant surgeon from the future.
8:58
And it's a fascinating storyline because of everything she has to
9:03
overcome as one of the smartest people on earth who, up until
9:09
this moment, has been mentally disabled.
9:12
She is very good in that TV show and it's interesting to see her
9:17
here. This is her very first thing on
9:22
IMDb. She is one of the people that
9:25
when I see this movie, I'm like, Oh yeah, it's great to have her
9:27
here. The kid who it's not great to
9:30
have is the kid from X-Men Three.
9:33
That kid is just bad. Nothing.
9:37
It's really easy to do an impression of him.
9:40
You just have to say everything like you don't have.
9:42
A heart or. Soul.
9:43
Yeah. Monotone Bored.
9:46
It's really. Funny though, when he says
9:47
something, it's supposed to be really risque, but he says that
9:51
like, this sucks royal cojones. Which is his catch phrase by
9:55
the. Way, Yeah.
9:56
Sucks. Royal cojones gets used so many
10:00
times in this movie. I'm not sure if they were trying
10:02
to start a trend or if there was some cool speech going on in
10:08
Edmonton that I missed out on. It would have been in Los
10:12
Angeles. You think that this movie was
10:15
written by someone in Los Angeles who came to Edmonton for
10:19
three days? Yes, I do.
10:24
OK, so as Chance said, this movie takes place in West
10:29
Edmonton Mall. But the problem with filming in
10:33
West Edmonton Mall is if you know anything about northern
10:36
Alberta, there's a lot of winter here.
10:41
Yeah, lots of snow. We get six months of snow, you
10:45
know, 7/7 on occasion 895. There's lots.
10:50
So a hurdle that this movie had to deal with was that this is
10:55
the biggest mall of North America.
10:57
So them trying to film at Christmas time would have been a
11:02
disaster. They there had been too many
11:04
crowds, they would not have been able to successfully pull it
11:09
off. So instead they opted to film it
11:13
during the summer. What that means is that the
11:16
movie has to explain away why there's no snow in a very snowy
11:23
location. It says the the warmest winter
11:26
ever, ever. It's like a radio.
11:28
It's like yes, we are in a heat wave.
11:31
No one knew that this movie was coming, so it was very confusing
11:37
for Edmontonians. Because W 17 Mall just never
11:42
took down their Christmas decorations.
11:46
So it's still May, it's still June.
11:49
And people are like, why is it decorated for Christmas here?
11:54
And then it would slip into the media that they were gonna film
11:59
a movie there, but they just left the Christmas decorations
12:02
up for half the year. I'm trying to remember how much
12:05
we knew about this movie. Before even a trailer was out,
12:08
like, I feel like I got excited about the premise of this movie
12:11
or that we had a Alberta representation.
12:14
Yeah, I feel like. I remember being there when it
12:19
was not Christmas, but there was Christmas decorations.
12:23
Beyond that, it's muddy. I remember buying this in West
12:29
Edmonton Mall. And I remember watching that,
12:32
the Three of us, But before that, I don't remember how this
12:37
came into our lives. It's kind of strange to think
12:40
that this is one of the few movies that takes place where
12:44
it's being filmed, you know, like if you have a movie in
12:47
Chicago, it's probably in Vancouver.
12:49
Yeah, we do film quite a few movies in Canada, just because
12:53
it's a lot. Cheaper here.
12:55
But it's very rare that a movie takes place in Canada.
12:58
Sure. I could not find any data about
13:00
how much this movie cost to make.
13:04
How many dollars did it make? 2 digits?
13:06
The $20 dad spent buying? His.
13:10
Movie. But yeah, we don't know what DVD
13:12
sales were or anything like that.
13:14
All we know is it's box office run.
13:18
It went in theaters. Yes, in Canada.
13:24
How much? Any guesses?
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I'm saying, I think. It's 1000.
13:28
Dollars. Wow.
13:29
Yeah, I'm gonna go 200 grand. I think like 750,000.
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Very close. The numbers are muddy.
13:38
They're a little different depending on what website you go
13:41
to, but I have a box office of $772,386.
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I'm sure it didn't make money. Oh.
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No, paying one of those actors would cost.
13:55
Yeah. The only thing I can think is
13:58
there is so much brand. Advertising in this movie, they
14:04
make up for it that maybe that made-up something, but
14:08
definitely this maybe is not a success.
14:10
Brand deals from Sony and Microsoft in the same movie and
14:15
that deserves an award. It's.
14:17
Important Booster Juice. WestJet cyanide.
14:29
My favorite product? Can you?
14:34
Imagine all the cyanide distributors out there.
14:37
We'll pay. $500,000. If you try and get someone to
14:41
say they want to have some sign, alright, John Kai's referenced
14:48
it twice. We all know what you want to
14:50
talk about. Let's talk about Booster Juice.
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Yeah, I think this is probably the most exciting part of the
14:58
movie for me is. I really like Booster Juice and.
15:01
Some characters talk. Near my Booster Juice.
15:04
Well, they do more than that, they.
15:06
Say the words booster. Juice, Yeah, she says.
15:08
Do you want to go get some Booster Juice?
15:10
Then they get some Booster Juice.
15:12
They sit down and they drink the Booster Juice.
15:14
I don't know if they actually drink it, but they hold it in
15:16
their hands. Yeah, you are analyzing because
15:18
they reason. Right.
15:19
Yeah, yeah, this was back. It's only been in recent years
15:22
that Booster Juice has moved to, like, the Purple Bow, degradable
15:25
straws and stuff like that. But.
15:29
History of Booster Juice. You guys thought we were here
15:32
for the movie we're here for? John's documentation.
15:36
Shot cups were definitely the old Styrofoam cups.
15:39
You can pinpoint the date that this was filmed.
15:42
That's right. Based on the branding of Booster
15:45
Juice, this movie came out when I was chances age.
15:49
Booster Juice was created in Sherwood Park and it's 375
15:56
locations around Canada, but only two in the United States.
16:01
Essentially it's two people from Los Angeles who are meeting for
16:04
the first time and she says want to go to Booster Juice and he's
16:09
like, yeah. But they've both only been in
16:12
Canada for a journey, or even there for 50. 4 hours. 37
16:18
minutes. And it's clearly that was a paid
16:21
advertisement. No Americans would even know
16:25
what they're talking about. I'm proud of the institution of
16:29
Booster Juice. We made it.
16:31
It's a local company. It's one of those things that
16:34
just comes off so forced. It really does.
16:38
Would you like to get a Booster Jew?
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Their siblings are missing. They're both missing, yes.
16:45
You want to go look for them at Booster Jews.
16:48
And then they just go and have drinks and.
16:51
Yeah, I'm not sure if the movie is intended to be for Canadian
16:55
audience, or if it's intended to be for an American audience, or
16:58
both. OK, they do start off by just
17:00
talking about how terrible Canada is to like men.
17:03
I have no idea what they're saying.
17:06
I need a lobotomy to listen to what they're saying.
17:09
The Santa magic trick. So the dad is sitting in a bar
17:15
upset because he's broke and. He turns around and Santa's
17:21
there, and Santa's talking about how when the dad was younger, he
17:24
got a pony for Christmas or something.
17:27
But that scene ends with Santa D materializing into a.
17:30
Little blue sparkles. And it is potentially the best
17:34
scene in the entire movie. Good special effects.
17:37
Yeah, he's being beamed up for sure.
17:40
I mean, there's better, special. Effects.
17:43
We all dive about those yet. OK, we're saving red.
17:47
This is a family movie. This is about warming your heart
17:53
and seeing how loving this family is during the Christmas
17:58
season. We should know.
17:59
Which is really strange considering how much they hate
18:02
each other. Everyone in this movie hates
18:05
each other. It's it's true.
18:07
What a sarcastic, rude, malicious and evil group of
18:13
people that Patrick Swayze has spawned.
18:17
And it's so funny because there's a scene right at the.
18:19
Beginning in the movie where Brian says something and Patrick
18:24
Swayze literally says you're not my kid, I think there's an
18:27
underlying theme that they did not intend that those kids are
18:31
adopted and he's like the evil stepfather in the Cinderella
18:35
story, and his sons are equally terrible.
18:38
Being negligent. At least he didn't make pancakes
18:42
with whole egg shells. True.
18:44
Patrick Swayze. Doesn't make a pancake or he
18:46
puts any. Entire egg in it.
18:48
No, no, no, he cracks the egg. Let's the let's the yolk and
18:52
then the whites and then he. Throws the.
18:55
Shells in John made a second bat without egg.
18:58
Shells the egg. Shell bats.
19:00
With. The other The boys yet but
19:03
tracks John having done some work with social work.
19:07
Do you have any thoughts about Patrick Swayze's parenting in
19:13
this movie? I'm not a parent so.
19:17
I can. I learned everything I know
19:19
about parenting from this movie. Yeah, he is the worst.
19:28
Yeah, I think there's the one scene at the start where his
19:32
eldest son doesn't want to go to the mall, so he says.
19:35
If you don't go to the mall, you're going to wreck Christmas
19:37
for everyone. And I'm not going to buy you an
19:39
Xbox. That's the part that gets him
19:41
going. Gas.
19:42
Lining. He does gaslight his kid for
19:46
sure. I laughed for about 3 minutes
19:49
near the end of this movie when the two brothers have learned
19:54
some semblance of a lesson and one of them says I'm sorry, dad,
19:59
this is all my fault, And then the other kid says no dad, it's
20:03
my fault. And then in any other movie, the
20:06
dad would have been like either it's nobody's fault or it's all
20:11
of our faults or something like that.
20:12
Instead he's like yes, no, it's both of your faults.
20:16
It's like what Mary. I am so good and it's so funny.
20:21
After he just like cradles Mary in his arms, throws her in the
20:25
air, picks her up, that kind of thing.
20:26
And then he immediately scolds his sons.
20:29
Mary is 2 people. Yeah, John made a discovery
20:31
that. The girl who plays Mary is
20:35
actually more than one girl. It's a set of twins, and we
20:39
watched an interview and one of them was taking it seriously.
20:42
The other one was hyperactive and slumping in their chair, and
20:46
I get the impression and probably pick the two of them
20:49
out when they're in different scenes.
20:51
Now I kind of want to go back for another section, see if I
20:54
could tell which one to win. Who's with me?
20:59
Let's interesting so with full house they.
21:02
Had the Mary Kate and. Ashley twins.
21:04
I feel like I learned there was a reason for that at one time.
21:07
Yeah, it's a law, Child Exploitation, essentially.
21:10
You can't have a child that young on TV that much.
21:16
It's against the law. So the way of sidestepping it is
21:21
to have. Two, that can't be the reason
21:23
nowadays for this movie, I don't.
21:25
Think I have no idea, yeah. It would be a lot more work to
21:29
try and get two people into the same character.
21:32
I guess they only have to learn half as many lines.
21:34
That's true. Talked about Mary.
21:37
There's definitely some premeditated murder murder
21:41
attempts here. She.
21:43
Nearly hammered her hand to. Well, not just that, so for
21:49
context. The.
21:50
Little 6 year old girl leads one of the bad guys played by Carmen
21:55
Electra onto the roof of one of the domes.
21:59
So she gets there ahead of time and she uses a hammer and bashes
22:03
out the window so that Carmen Electra steps on it and then
22:07
falls to presumably her death. She got lucky she.
22:13
Lately isn't. Feeling closure?
22:14
Yeah, but she's not that far from.
22:18
A wall or the the platform where the sea lions stand on.
22:24
There's no way that six year old kid was like, I'm picking this
22:27
window 'cause she'll live. Everyone wants to talk about it.
22:31
Everyone wants to talk about it. There's one scene in this movie
22:36
that is notorious. Anyone can forget anything about
22:41
this movie except one scene you will never forget.
22:44
It's in your nightmare. Santa Claus is disguised as a
22:49
janitor. He's disguised.
22:51
As. Everyone.
22:51
In this movie even married no, but in in this specific part
22:54
he's disguised as a janitor and he tells them the way to get out
22:58
and he says take the door at the top of the staircase, not open
23:03
the red door. Brian ignores his instructions
23:06
and lets out an evil. He opens the red door.
23:13
And it's. Possibly.
23:15
The worst CG D room I've ever seen in my life.
23:19
The spoiler alert. This movie implies that the
23:23
reason why no one's ever found Santa Claus at the North Pole is
23:28
because Santa Claus operates out of West Edmonton.
23:33
I don't. I don't.
23:34
Think it implies that. I think it just says that.
23:37
One of the kids opens a door in the basement of West Edmonton
23:42
Mall and finds Santa's workshop. And they could have opted to do
23:48
it any number of ways, like use human beings or money.
23:52
They could have used money. Real money.
23:55
Real money. Instead of putting in.
24:00
Effort, Effort, or money or money or time or energy.
24:09
Or Sunday afternoon. They pretty much punched in the
24:14
line of code and just letting AI do whatever it wanted with it.
24:17
I could have made that room. It's.
24:20
Horrifying. Yeah.
24:22
You get computer graphically designed and I used the term
24:27
design very loosely. Elves that just have the
24:32
scariest faces. You know, they're smiling.
24:36
That are they, Brian? After he opens the door, he
24:39
says. Is this the North Pole?
24:41
And then all of the elves stare at him for a total of 15 seconds
24:46
before smiling and nodding. Yeah.
24:50
They don't say anything, by the way.
24:52
They just stare. For like, exceedingly long.
24:57
Periods of time. I used to dread going to the
25:00
Festival of Trees, and not because I didn't enjoy the
25:03
Festival of Trees, but every time we went.
25:06
There was this red door. Practically, there was a junky
25:13
motion ride. Motion sickness.
25:17
Motion sickness, right? Yeah, it was a tiny little booth
25:21
car shaped thing. You'd climb in and then it would
25:25
play the laziest computer graphic animation ever made.
25:30
It was Santa on this letters. And then it would just shake the
25:34
box that you were. In it was equivalent to the
25:36
computer graphics at the bowling alley when you like.
25:39
A strike? Yeah, maybe.
25:42
Honestly, that's overselling it a little bit.
25:45
You sit in a box and watch a TV screen and then the bottom Rock
25:50
shakes you and the animation was done in 3 minutes.
25:56
The worst experience and chance. Loved it.
26:00
Loved it. He wanted to do it over and
26:04
over. Every year I have PTSD.
26:08
Stupid ride. So.
26:10
Computer graphics in this movie very much resemble that, you
26:14
know, I would have been fine if when they opened that door,
26:17
there was just a bunch of sea lions wearing elf hats.
26:19
Yeah, I see lions with elf hats would have been cute.
26:22
The sea lion. Is the.
26:24
Greatest actor in this movie. Yeah, it's really funny.
26:26
There was an interview with Carmen.
26:28
Electra, Where? She said.
26:29
The most professional actor on the set was the sea lion, and I
26:33
don't doubt it. Yeah, straight business with
26:37
that one. Especially after.
26:38
He tried to murder her. There's a scene where the dad
26:41
tries to buy a snow blower and the cooler trying to Oh no,
26:46
you're making. Me think about the.
26:49
Shopping. Scenes.
26:52
Not that. What was her name?
26:53
John. What was her name?
26:55
The clerk or the the underwear shot?
26:58
No, the underwear. Will you have two scenes?
27:02
First things first, the dad is trying to buy it.
27:06
A snow blower. Snow blower for his wife.
27:09
And every time he mentions, I'm getting a snow blower for my
27:13
wife. The.
27:14
Woman in there says she'll die. I sorry.
27:19
I'm getting this snow blower for my wife.
27:21
She'll die. People assume that.
27:23
That's just like the only nice thing that she could say that's
27:27
referencing that his wife won't enjoy it.
27:30
What is actually happening is she's an old witch doctor.
27:38
Evil curse on his wife. OK, we're talking about it.
27:43
John. What's her name?
27:44
What's her name? I hate it.
27:46
The lingerie saleswoman? Yeah, you want to know the
27:49
actresses? Made it doesn't.
27:50
Matter. So Patrick Swayze goes into a
27:54
lingerie store to buy something for his wife.
27:58
It's a trope. That you?
28:00
Have to have in movies where it's really awkward for him to
28:04
buy something for. Wife, girlfriend there and
28:08
starts out kind of cute. The lady.
28:11
There's a scene where Patrick Swayze is like looking around
28:14
and then realizes he's very uncomfortable and his eyes like
28:17
lock forward. That's a fun little.
28:19
It's cute because he's in the same pose as one of the
28:21
mannequins wearing the lingerie and then he realizes that and he
28:26
stops. That is actually charming, but
28:30
it is then followed by any talks.
28:32
OK, so saleswoman. The saleswoman walks up and
28:36
says. Are you getting something for
28:37
your girlfriend? And he says, do I look like I
28:40
have a girlfriend? And then the woman automatically
28:43
assumes that must mean he's getting it for himself.
28:46
However, he begins backpedaling and saying it's for his wife,
28:49
who is currently in Los Angeles. This is a true fact.
28:52
However, the saleswoman does not believe him.
28:56
And the next 4 minutes is this conversation about a saleswoman
29:00
trying to sell him a pair of lingerie for himself that he's
29:04
trying to get for his wife. It's very uncomfortable.
29:09
It might be the worst part of that movie.
29:12
Donuts, I don't want to Yeah, I was thinking about the Donuts,
29:16
saying why did they have to rerecord slopping audio on top
29:21
of eating those Donuts? It's so weird.
29:25
We should probably talk about. The.
29:27
Bad guys, Carmen. Electra is pretty much just a
29:30
bad lady who thinks she looks pretty.
29:32
The two goons I actually put forth the.
29:35
Idea that I. Actually, kind of like Leonard.
29:37
He's stupid, annoying in that weird way.
29:41
That kind of like the Wet Bandits were in in Home Alone.
29:44
I kind of thought of him in the same way as that.
29:47
Just hateful, annoying and very small, with no real threat about
29:52
him other than he's a bad guy. Yeah, I kind of thought that
29:55
was. Charming in that little sense,
29:57
but his dissociate is not interesting so because of the
30:02
bandits. You have the one.
30:03
Guy who's annoyed and the other guy who's stupid.
30:06
But in this case, the guy who's stupid is just the worst.
30:10
He's very dumb and he is a larger man.
30:13
So they make fat jokes constantly.
30:16
That is his personality. Dumb and fat jokes.
30:19
There's one time where Chris Catan falls in the ground.
30:25
And then the other man just lies down.
30:29
I remember. Dad, literally while we were
30:31
watching the movie, said, oh, here comes a squished by the.
30:35
Bad guy joke. And as Perks expectation, Chris
30:38
Kottan is squished by the fat guy.
30:40
However, it was immediately followed by a fart.
30:44
Joke which? None of us had.
30:46
Expected. To die in retrospect, we
30:48
probably. Should have.
30:50
Yeah, but you lose me as soon as you do the the fart joke.
30:53
You know, I'm kind of surprised that that was the only fart joke
30:56
in that movie. Five stars.
30:58
Only what four stars chance you lose a star?
31:04
For every fart, yeah. We ready to do closing comments.
31:09
Yeah. Yeah, I had less.
31:13
Fun with this episode. I think we had way more fun when
31:17
we were watching the movie. Yeah, I did laugh a lot during
31:22
the movie and even afterwards. Yeah, and I guess that's a
31:26
downside. Normally we don't all want
31:28
together, right? Normally we watch these
31:31
individually and we come back with our shared thoughts.
31:34
But my joy for this movie expired about an hour ago.
31:39
Yeah. I think there is one joke at the
31:41
very end in which Kylin was trying to find an end credits.
31:45
Yeah, Kylin was making sure there's an end credit scene.
31:48
To which Dad replied. This isn't a Marvel movie.
31:52
And then I commented afterward. Stand to opening.
31:55
The red door. Fine, I'll do it myself.
31:59
Which. I think we laughed for about 5
32:02
minutes straight about that. 1. And that was probably the most.
32:06
Joy we had. Watching this movie is when it
32:09
was. Over it's.
32:10
Still pretty funny and rich. He's like, take each one of
32:16
those fugly computer graphic Elms and put them in his
32:20
gauntlet. Their face in the entire L.
32:26
No. Turns them into Hamburg.
32:28
Remember in the beginning when the decoration is of Santa with
32:33
his face on his hand? That's foreshadowing to him.
32:37
Put the elf faces on his gauntlet.
32:41
OK, close in comrades. OK.
32:43
I think that you probably should watch this movie for yourself if
32:48
you can, no? No, actually, I I agree with we
32:52
should. Put this at the.
32:53
Start. OK, before you watch this, watch
32:57
it for yourself. It's way more fun to watch.
33:00
Than it is to listen to somebody.
33:02
Talk about this movie. Yeah, this movie is bad and I
33:07
hope I will never watch it again.
33:09
But it just. I will also say that I feel
33:14
like. You're doing yourself a
33:16
disservice if you've never seen this movie.
33:19
If you're a Western Canadian who's ever been to West Edmonton
33:23
Mall, watch this movie and then forget about it instead of
33:28
watching it. If you want to watch it, I have
33:30
a copy that I can give you. Just send us your address,
33:34
actually. Tim doesn't own very many DVD's
33:38
and so the. Fact that all they.
33:39
Want held on to this DVD? Let's me know that this isn't
33:42
the last time we're watching. It.
33:45
That there will be another Christmas coming up where he'll
33:48
say ooh, what about this one? There is a.
33:50
Term coin called Is this in Arlo?
33:53
This isn't actually from Arlo, this is from a different guy.
33:56
Whoa. He's not stating who it's from.
33:59
I. Will I'll state.
34:00
With several other puppets, he could This is somebody from
34:03
Carmen. This is somebody.
34:06
It's not. Easy mean.
34:07
Green. There's a saying that you going,
34:12
it's a saying that Cookie Monster once said.
34:15
See is good cookie and. That's good.
34:19
That's what I mean. That's.
34:27
What I rate this with, yeah. Ohh anyways, I don't actually
34:33
know. What you're we're.
34:36
Gonna talk about there's. A guy I.
34:40
Think I actually showed him to you once we watched.
34:42
A video of his guy by the name. Of super I patch.
34:45
Wolf. We watched.
34:46
The Garfield. One oh, yes, Yeah.
34:48
I don't know if he coined this term, but it's something I
34:51
remember hearing him say. It was something called the
34:54
Mediocre Valley. It's like an upside down bell
34:57
curve. Is the idea.
34:58
The movie is between seven through 10.
35:00
It is a great movie. The movie is between 3:00
35:03
through five. It is a movie.
35:05
That is just so. Nothing.
35:07
It's not enjoyable, but when a movie is between 3:00 through
35:10
one, it's a movie that's so hilariously bad that you want to
35:13
watch it. Like The King of These being The
35:15
Room, which is possibly the worst movie of all time but is
35:18
so spectacular it's horrible that you should watch it.
35:22
I don't think this movie is bad. It's not good.
35:27
It's just any of its redemptive qualities are ones that are best
35:33
viewed in a sarcastic mindset. I think I'm going to rate this
35:39
right now as a solid 3. 3. Out of 10, three out of cookie.
35:47
That's good enough for. Me.
35:49
And that's quite low on. The spectrum but.
35:51
Our new. Rating scale that we've never
35:54
used. We just we just.
35:55
Looking. At Monster.
35:57
I'd say that. This one is a gingerbread, if I
36:00
dare say so myself. Alright, John, what do you want
36:04
to say about this movie? Yeah.
36:07
Well, I'll see it again probably.
36:09
Seven more times not. Because I want to.
36:14
Last episode you said you would never watch Quest for Camelot
36:18
again, but you're gonna watch this one again.
36:21
Not. Because I want to, I will not be
36:24
putting this in a DVD player. My brother will be.
36:27
John will be chained to the couch.
36:30
You know John never throws things away, but the one DVD he.
36:34
Wants to throw away. Yeah, that we.
36:36
Won't. That's something very
36:38
interesting. John is not the type of person
36:40
to lose anything with sentimental value.
36:42
This movie has a lot of sentimental value.
36:45
And he wants. It.
36:46
Still. Wants it out of the house.
36:48
It really says something about this.
36:50
Movie. OK, so Kai, where did you stand
36:54
with it again? I'd say it's a.
36:55
Gingerbread. OK, we're getting a gingerbread.
36:58
We're getting a three out of cookie.
37:00
I will say if you haven't watched it before, you should.
37:05
If you have, like we have, I do not suggest watching it again.
37:11
You've. Suffered enough.
37:12
And John can't wait for next Christmas to give it another
37:16
try. Anything people want to say to
37:19
close? We forgot to talk about
37:21
something. The song Christmas in
37:23
Wonderland. Oh yeah, this.
37:25
The song for this movie pretty much is an emblem of what the
37:28
rest of the movie is boring and homogenized.
37:31
It's very bad. And on the menu screen for this
37:35
DVD, it lasts likes the chorus, over and over and over and over
37:40
and over again. It's not fun.
37:43
It sucks, Royal. Cojone.
37:51
Is this our new? Phrase No.
37:53
Absolutely not, Dad. What's your rating?
37:55
John is just not in to this today, this entire thing.
38:00
So he was so determined to be chatty.
38:02
This. Time that he was gonna run over
38:05
everything that we said and. Here he is.
38:08
Put in his input about Booster Juice and he tapped out.
38:12
Dad, what do you have to? Say about this movie I have
38:15
nothing else to say about this movie I can do is.
38:18
I'll watch it again. Oh no.
38:22
I said that my rating is always how much I'll watch it.
38:25
Right, Right. Sometimes I'll say I will come
38:28
back to this in five years. I will come back to this when
38:32
someone else is watching it. We said we got this in 2007,
38:36
which I don't know that we did, but we've watched it three
38:39
times. That means that we've watched it
38:42
every five years, so. I guess as much as I don't want
38:49
to ever watch this again, history has taught.
38:52
Me that we'll see. Yeah, other than that.
38:57
All. I have to do is share some
38:59
friendly advice and that's look out for weirdos.
39:04
Look out for weirdos. Look out for weirdos.