Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Is Self Love Keeping You Stuck? Why You Can’t Feel Pleasure & How To Actually Be A Happier Human

Transcript

Is Self Love Keeping You Stuck? Why You Can’t Feel Pleasure & How To Actually Be A Happier Human · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, mentor, energy healer, a cost reader, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out their BS, and really create a life you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepeupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am back today with another juicy one that if you let it, this is gonna shift the way you look at things, you know, whether you're feeling stuck, whether you can't feel pleasure, and honestly, just how to be a happier human, right?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you've heard me speak to, you know, self-love, self-worth before.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, self-love, especially from like a nervous system perspective, is actually doing the thing that's going to serve you, not looking for that instant gratification or relief.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so self-love, you know, doing things in the name of quote unquote self-love can really keep us stuck if we're avoiding stuff and then doing things to really bypass it, put a band-aid over it, kind of mask it, you know, for less than healthy things, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you do a face mask for self-love, but you self-abandon yourself, you know, in conversations.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: You take yourself to dinner, but you reject yourself when you look in the mirror.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: You buy yourself flowers, but then you go new people please.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then self-love is gonna keep you stuck, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're using quote unquote self-love, you know, I'm doing all these things, but it's not true self-love.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's self-distraction.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not true self-love of like, oh, I'm buying myself flowers, but I can't, you know, stop people pleasing, I can't set a boundary.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, sure, buying yourself flowers is nice, but is that gonna get to the root?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just bypassing.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so stop using self-love to bypass the stuff you actually need to deal with.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, self-love is actually sometimes the hardest thing to do.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because it can be very soothing and validating to be like, okay, I'm gonna know take myself to dinner, I'll buy myself a coffee, and like those are all great things, still do those, love that.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not an excuse to then not look deeper if you're still self-abandoning, self-rejecting, low self-worth, etc.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're actually then not going to heal.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're gonna become exhausted, you know, wondering, you know, why you're doing all this stuff in the name of quote unquote self-love, but then you're not attracting the relationships you want, or the money you want, or the career you want, or the wealth you want, or the health you want, like all these things.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is actually choosing the highest path, even when it's not easy.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if this triggers you, this is probably a sign you need to heal.
• 3:46
  unknown: Right?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we do something, you know, in the name of quote unquote self-love that isn't actually healing our self-love instead of doing the things that you know that would actually help, we're not gonna get anywhere.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're actually gonna feel frustrated.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the thing.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get frustrated feeling like, I why am I still stuck here?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've been, you know, doing these things for self-love.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I I bought myself a coffee, you know, I did this.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason why is you're not actually addressing the root.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're not actually addressing, hmm, what is the real reason that I don't have unconditional love myself?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason I self-abandon in these situations?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason I people please?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason I reject myself?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know I say this with love because me sugarcoating it for you is not gonna help you and not gonna allow you to heal.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Me being direct with you is actually the most loving thing I can do, provides you with more value because I'm not gonna sit here and tell you, you know, to do self-love, take a bubble bath and you know, spend that quality time with yourself.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if you're taking a bubble bath if you get out and like people please reject yourself, because that's what's gonna create the conflict in your body, right?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna cause the dis-ease in your body.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if you take a bubble bath and then self-abandon yourself, and then that causes disease and conflict, and then we get, you know, symptoms like PMS, PCOS, fertility issues, hormonal issues, liver, you know, backing up, sluggishness.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do not use like, you know, buying yourself flowers or buying yourself a coffee to bypass.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is it self-love or is it self-distraction?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And like actually be asking yourself when you're doing these things, is this self-love or is this self-distraction?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because we actually need to like release the lack of self-worth and shame that keeps us, you know, from loving ourselves unconditionally, you know, to break out of the wounding, the trauma, the conditioning that's then preventing your nervous system for truly not only feeling pleasure, but resolving those physical symptoms, like I said.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously when we have self-love, we can sink into our feminine.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: But if we're still stuck in those patterns of loops of nothing ever feeling enough, right?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so you might be doing the things like, all right, I'm taking bubble baths, I buy myself coffee, or buy myself flowers, or like I'm spending more time with myself, but it doesn't ever feel enough.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a sign that you're actually bypassing.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's a sign that it's self-distraction.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a sign that there's trapped, trapped, trapped shame, self-worth, or lack, lack of self-worth in your body.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And like shame cuts you off from your potency.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Shame cuts you off from feeling the pleasure in everyday life.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we think about, you know, romanticizing our life, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Romanticize your life, get present, feel the things.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: You might be like, okay, live, I've been slowing down, I've been doing the things, but I can't feel it.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you can't feel it because there's still shame in your body.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's like lack of self-worth.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's like, think about it like a ball of lack of self-worth is stored in your body that you haven't released, that we're trying to put a band-aid over by taking a bubble bath because we got, you know, the these new bath salts.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, you know.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have different, like you have an emotional body, you have a physical body, and those conflicts, you know, this dis-ease is stored in the cells of your body.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And until, you know, this this pain body, this part of your pain body gets released, the pleasure body literally cannot feel pleasure.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can't have one and the other at the same time.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am just popping on to let you guys know that goddess activation is now open.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is my signature program to really rewire your nervous system from the emotions, trauma conditioning that is preventing you not only from loving yourself unconditionally, but really sinking into your feminine and having solid self-worth.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: This goes way beyond just clearing symptoms like PCOS, PMS, fertility, endo, and more that are linked to feminine energy in the body, but really actually living a life filled with pleasure.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We'll be going over the exact processes and methods to really embody deep self-love so that you don't need external validation to feel good.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, this is not go ahead and take a bubble bath.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is about sinking into your feminine with ease because it no longer dysregulates your nervous system to slow down.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, we're gonna be going into what is preventing your nervous system from sinking into your feminine and releasing that, along with releasing things like lack of self-worth and shame that keeps your nervous system comfortable in its wounded masculine.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're also gonna be building a structure in your nervous system so that it feels safe to be in your feminine, along with dissolving the patterns and loops that are creating the feeling of nothing ever being enough and really running on that hamster wheel.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to know how to be in receiving mode and really heal the parts of you that are preventing you from living a life that really turns you on, this is what goddess activation is all about.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: We were gonna leave the link for that down below.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you are listening to this after this live round, definitely go ahead and join because as soon as you join, you get instant access to the portal and you can start healing and watching the content right away and then dive into the next round of live calls whenever they happen.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, if you have any questions, you can always email me or send me a message on Instagram.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: But this is truly going to be the best round yet.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not experiencing the depth of pleasure that you know is possible in life, perhaps you see me even speaking about pleasure and the fact that I can get like a million dollars worth of pleasure out of a coffee cup.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: My fiance will laugh at this, but I literally have texted him being like, oh my god, I've experiencing like I can go from zero to a hundred, I can get that from a cup of coffee.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: I can get that from like something that's less than$10.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sure, yes, I can get that from like a Louis Vuitton bag, but I can get that from something that's like a few dollars.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because I can sink into my feminine, but I can only sink into my feminine because I don't have, you know, all these conflicts of shame, low self-worth, not enoughness, and everything that was stored in my body.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it because I used to be there.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: It used to very much be stored in my body.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing was ever enough.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was in my masculine, I couldn't slow down.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And even slowing down, I couldn't actually enjoy it as much.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: So all of that needs to be cleared out of your nervous system so that your nervous system then all feels safe to experience, you know, pleasure.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Feels safe to actually feel joy and happiness and have that like heart bursting feeling.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it can't do that if it's contracted and constricted by trauma and stress, by things that are stored in your nervous system that it hasn't completed yet, that your nervous system is still reacting to.
• 10:36
  unknown: Right?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard me talk about this before.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Until you finish processing something, your nervous system is still reacting to you, not feeling enough when you were five years old.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, maybe you didn't color the best picture or get a good grade in your test or make the soccer team.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you process that, your body is still reacting.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: So no, no wonder nothing ever feels enough.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta change the lens.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have to actually rewire the way your brain perceives the world.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it can't do that when those old wounding trauma and conditions are still playing out.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's very important to understand these differences.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I see people get stuck, and this is why I wanted to bring it to you.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you feel like I'm trying to do all these things and you're actually like not feeling it, there's nothing quote unquote wrong with you.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's also people who don't be like, something's wrong with me, I'm different.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with you.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're not different.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or actually the same as everyone else.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: You just have those things that you haven't yet released, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Pleasure is all about feeling safe and open to like and to be receptive.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't feel safe to be open and receptive, because you all have all these things that are telling you to be in your masculine, you know, do more, be more, achieve more, nothing's ever enough.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, it's not gonna feel safe to slow down and actually enjoy.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might then might have like body image issues or you know issues feeling like you've done enough in your career or you've achieved enough, all these things.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: There are contractive energies in your body.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: How can you feel contractive energies in your body and feel pleasure at the same time?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally, the the path gets clogged with all these contractive energies.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then how are you gonna be a happier human?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can't actually opening up, letting that stuff go allows more pleasure, love, happiness in.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this allows the feminine energy to flow through you, and then you become an open channel.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that right now you're just currently not programmed to open, accept, and delight in it.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like your ability to, you know, feel the happiness, the pleasures related to your ability to be open and receive.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like noticing, mm-how, how open and receptive do I feel right now?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, feeling like things aren't enough does not make you open to receive.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Being that loop of not enough, not enough, not enough, whether it's not enough love, not enough money, not enough this shuts you down.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we do live in a world where the natural tendency to react is by shutting down instead of saying open and like opening up.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when I talk about pleasure, I don't talk about like just necessarily sexual pleasure.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, that like with libido can be a thing.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: I actually mean just being receptive and open, like the pleasures of everyday life.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I gave you the example with my coffee.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something I work on so many clients with.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you if we cannot get like level 10, like pleasure out of, you know, you're turned on by life by your cup of coffee, by your cup of this.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm focused on building that first.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like libido just comes as an after effect.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: When we think about how open we are, when we think about how safe we feel, that's going to dictate everything.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Start becoming aware of where you are holding back and why.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: For example, you can't even be receptive to a compliment.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe someone gives you a compliment on the address you're wearing.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Can you fully receive it?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Can you fully receive the cup of coffee you're drinking?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, someone gives you a compliment.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, there's like, oh, this old dress or this old, I don't know, thing, or oh, there's a hole at the bottom, or oh, there's this.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: You find a flaw in it, right?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of saying open receptive and truly receiving, you know, somehow it's like automatic to find fault and not fully receive.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just in one small example.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, see if you can stay open and receive with zero resistance.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is not just compliments.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Someone holding the door for you, someone doing this, someone doing that.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, it's okay.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta like if we can't receive the small things in life, how are we receiving heartbursting, overwhelming, like not to be overwhelming, but like overflowing, you know, amounts of happiness, joy, and pleasure.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't add up.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: When you become more receptive, you not only create more pleasure in your life, but you automatically heal your feminine energy.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: So ask for what you need to create more pleasure in your life and actually create more environments that are conducive to you being more receptive.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's the people in your life.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's you know, your presence and how you're experiencing things.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's those feel unacknowledged like conflicts in your body, right?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: That contribute to dis-ease, the dis-ease disease in your body that it's now stuck.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you like, in order to heal that feminine energy to get out of your wounded masculine into your feminine, you actually have to release those, you know, conflicts, uncomfortable feelings.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Then you become more receptive, then things feel more safe, but it can't when it's contracted.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you relax, you feel safe.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So how can you be more open and receive?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that also means creating those spaces for yourself.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this is really how self-love can keep you stuck because we get into these patterns of like, we're saying this is self-love, but it's not actually self-love.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And why we end up not being able to feel pleasure is because we're really contracted with all of these energies, like emotion is energy in motion.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then when all of that is stored in our body, it really reduces our capacity to be a happier human, to feel the joy, to feel the pleasure, to feel all the things.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like your system is clogged up.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it like arteries being clogged of, you know, atherosclerosis.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Your channels are clogged up by low self-worth, lack, not enoughness, uh unworthiness, this isn't enough, but whatever, whatever stories, wounds, projections, conditioning traumas you have.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then you keep like, why can't I, you know, why can't I feel it?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I feel it?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, but your cup is clogged.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: If we were just to empty out the cup of all that, you would have so much more capacity to receive.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So much more comes in, so much more floods in and rushes in and avalanches and plethora and overflowing amounts of joy, pleasure, money, magnetism, whatever you want to call it, comes rushing in.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so interesting because this is not even about like, this is all about you getting back to who you naturally are.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because you were not born this way.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: You did not come into this world feeling lack, not enough.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is with all things that were projected onto you, things you learned, things you picked up.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: We are just getting you back to like your normal, natural state, which is to receive.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, if this spoke to you, definitely join us in God's activation.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is what we're gonna be diving into.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited because, well, A, not only does you're gonna be a happier human, but this like applies to all areas of life.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your health, like we said, your physical symptoms when it comes to hormonal issues, PCOS, PMS, um, fertility, your liver backing up, like all of that stuff is also gonna heal your relationships, right?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: When you're more confident, not only your friendships, but your relationships at work, your relationships intimately just allow you to feel more pleasure, not just in the bedroom, but by life.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So that you can be like me, like literally, like, oh my god, I'm feeling like a million dollars worth of pleasure from this coffee.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I laugh as I say this because I know it can sound ridiculous, but I I promise you, like, even just the way our cleaning ladies put this stamp on the toilet paper, the way that they they seal and fold it, I I extract so much from that, right?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I you can't do that if your body and your nervous system is contracted by the trauma, stress, wounding, conditioning, right?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we're gonna break you out of it, gossipation.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm very excited.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna leave the link down below.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions about this, send me a message and I'd be happy to kind of answer any questions.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: With that, I will see those of you inside of Goss Activation, and then I'll talk to you in the next episode.