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Why Your Child Won't Focus (And What You're Doing Wrong) · Homeschool Revolution

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the homeschooling school for homeschool moments and for over 20 years, and I've been coming on just like you forget.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: This is happy working mom, single mom, single home mom, and this too.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Any parent who is done with all the way and laser, creative, competent kids who actually changed the world.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't just homeschooling.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: This is revolution.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get into it.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome everybody.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Here's the topic.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna start out with we'll go, we'll go to the topic for sure.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I have to say, my so my husband and I went to a hometown football game.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: We have one of the kids in our um early morning seminary classes in the band, and they have this big, they have this huge performance.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so we asked if we wanted to come.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: So we're like, yeah.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: So we go to this hometown football game so we can see his band performance.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: And he we he and I are sitting there and we're watching the cheerleaders and watching the band and we're watching like right all the social life of all these high schoolers.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: And when I'm in that, because so when I was in high school, I loved high school.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: I actually, well, I can't say loved, I did well in high school.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was a cheerleader and I did the the um I ran for vice, I was vice president of the senior of the class, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: I did those things, did the proms, did all that stuff, which is why my family's like, how are you the one that is homeschooling?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because you did really well in high school.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, it's actually it's because I was living the life that everybody said everybody wanted, is why I homeschool.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: But that's another story.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: So we're sitting there and I'm watching, and there's a part of me that's like missing that social time, and I'm looking at my five children, and my five children have never had the experience of a high hometown football game.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: They've never even been to one.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, we should at least bring the kids.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, cheerleading, football, just not interesting.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: They don't care.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've even tried to get them to like they play instruments, and I'm like, hey, let's get you in the band, and they're just they don't care.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: And my husband and I are sitting there and we're we're actually mourning it a little bit.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: We were like, this was something I wanted my kids to experience.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: This was something that I really thought would be really good for them at the time.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or even when I sat there, and and for a minute, we were going through some withdrawal, some homeschool withdrawal.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: Here we are on our last two kids, a 17 and 14-year-old.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: And we sat there going, I feel bad that our kids didn't have this experience.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Until, okay, until.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Kirsten.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Brittany, hi ladies, come on in.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then here's what happened.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: Then I'm sitting there listening to some of these teenagers' conversations, and I'm listening to their topics and what they're talking about, and I'm watching these 11-year-olds talk about the boys they're dating and what's going on with the boys they're dating.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: And these were like young, there's no way these were high school kids, these were little kids.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then I start seeing the behaviors of these kids, and then I start listening to this, and honestly, the conversations of the children, children going on around me.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, that's right.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's not about the social life that I remember.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: And let's be honest, you know, you you rose-colored glasses looking back.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 30 years since I graduated, and sometimes I remember things differently.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember the social anxiety, I don't remember the bullying, I don't remember the sexual harassment.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember, right?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: I just remember, oh, football games.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I love them so much.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Until I started hearing it again and what the kids were talking about and doing and saying.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then I went, oh, we made the right choice.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Would I trade who my children have become for a football game for a cheerleading?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: The fact that my kids could care less about a football game, does that change their life?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Are they missing out on something?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: They will always miss out on something.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe because um, maybe they're missing out on plays right now we can't afford, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Musicals.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe they're missing out on, they're also missing out on the family who's always out motorbiking because we can't afford that either, nor do I really have interest.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: There's always going to be something they're missing out on.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: But did they miss out on confidence, light, happiness, lack of anxiety from peers, bullying?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we made a trade-off.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: We decided to trade that supposed picture for a different reality.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: And there are days it makes me go, uh.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then I have to look at what my kids aren't dealing with.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: My children were not dating at 11.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: They were not having sexual pressure at 13.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: They were not, right?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think about things like that and I think, hmm, these these public school things that are happening around us.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: For a minute, for a minute, I was like, oh, my kids will never.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then I went, and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that's okay because there's a million things my kids will never.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's good too.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a million things my kids will do, feel, do that the other children will never experience.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that actually made me more sad.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: That made me more sad when I sat and thought about it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: So there you go.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: There's a mom of 25 years who's homeschooled her five kids, who, yes, I still occasionally feel the aw, my kids probably would have loved this.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: But we also would have, it would have brought on so many other issues.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I I could tell you stories of my own high school life.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want my kids doing that.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I was supposedly had what is supposed to be the cool stuff.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: And and no, it's not all that's it's cracked up to be.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Beth.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: So there's my little experience.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Rachel, of coming um my weekend, you know, nothing like going to a public school event to help you realize how well behaved your children are.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, there's some things, but I also had another realization.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: I had another little experience.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: I have one child who was more in the public school area life than the others.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: So my second child, um, brilliant.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: She is my least confident.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: And here's what I think is interesting.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: She decided, so we did a um a charter school for junior high.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Now, my older child was high school, she was in ninth grade, and she wanted to try it.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: It had a lot of homeschoolers in it, it had a theater, it had all the things she wanted.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so she went to charter part-time.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: We did the basic stuff at home, and she went there for like music and dance and theater, and she thrived.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, child number two, who's only 12 months behind, was like, Well, I want to go too.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: So we let them both go together.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, sure, you know.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, child number two ended up doing most of her high school there.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, even though she did her basics at home, she did her electives there.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: And she's the one who struggles the most with what people think of her.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: She then went to college at 17 and spent, so she left the house the earliest at 17.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, technically at 14.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: She spent the most time in public school situations or in school situations with groups of people.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: She moved out on her own at 17 into the college life and did that.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: She got married last week.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: She's the one who just got married.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: And the reality is that I finally tied it in because I didn't, she had some insecurities.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Where?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you the only one with these issues?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you the only one who cares what people think of you in these ways?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you insecure?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Your other four siblings aren't.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have a hair that won't stay out of my mouth.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: And as I'm like trying to analyze this, I realized she's also the one that was away from home the most.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: She was the one that went out into the world sooner than the rest.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: She was the one who, in the last five years, has been not at home, not around us, doing other things, which is fine.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Independence is beautiful, and I want my children to be independent.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: But she's had the most influence from the world, from my other children at the earliest stage of her life.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I see her struggle more with what the world thinks, what the world says, what do people think of her?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: How can she do things so other people will like her more?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking, what?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: Now, is it a personality thing, or is it because she was exposed to the world at a younger age and more often?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's something I still ponder, I still look at.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it did make me hold back a little bit as my old my younger two are like uh they're trying to get in the world, yes, but I'm finding myself not pushing them so hard as I did my first two, I think.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um so there you go.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Couple lessons I've learned this week.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Take them however you want to take them.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but but I mean, the whole thing, the best thing I can give you here is the look back.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: So you guys are in the thralls of it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: You're right in the middle of the homeschool mess.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: And here I am almost done, and I can give you my the what it's like at the other end.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, any questions you have about what that's like, let me know.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: I may not have all the answers, but I can definitely give you my two cents on that.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay, so the topic though today is how to get focused kids to focus and do the work.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you are here for that?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: Give me a thumbs up if you are here to focus or a one, whatever's easiest to do.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Kelsey, Brittany, okay, Janelle.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, how do you get your kids to focus and do the work?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now, this answer is varies by age.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're gonna break it down by age for a minute.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna help you because I this is not one answer across the board, no way.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: This is depends on between this age and this age, and even that is a little fuzzy because it depends on how mature your child is or immature your child is.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna take this with the grade of salt.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead and pop your questions as you're wondering this, okay?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: But let's go with age.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, homeschooling, the sooner you realize um age appropriateness, the happier you'll be.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: My favorite book about this is called The Thomas Jefferson Education.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: I read it 10 years into my homeschooling journey.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: Realized I had moved into its philosophies on my own over time, but it took me 10 years to do it naturally.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: By the time I read it, I was like, oh, this is why what I'm doing now makes sense.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're new to homeschooling, I highly recommend Thomas Jefferson Education because it really breaks down your age groups and what your expectations actually should be for those age groups.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I have seen that most people who have kids who can't focus or do the work actually have their expectations for said child wrong.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and that's what the public school system has done to us.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's not your fault, it's what the public school system has done.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about that a little bit.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: So, Trish, do you mind writing finding a link for them for the Thomas Jefferson education and pop it in the chat for me?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: Are you still here?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if that's okay.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: So Thomas's Thomas Jefferson Education, the first thing it talks about is the first eight years of their life until the age of eight.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: The focus, the number one focus should be humanity, how to be a human, how to play, how to be kind, how to feel, how to recognize feelings, how to treat others, how to take care of their environment.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Those should be the main focus for a child eight and under.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean you can't do reading, writing math.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: It means those are just something that you do as they grow up.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's something that if they're interested in reading, writing math, yes, add it in, but that should not be the focus because a child under the age of eight needs to play as much as possible.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: And people, I'll tell you right now, when I first heard that, I pushed back on that.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: But my kid's brilliant, but my kid can do more.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, play is a child's work, so they should be playing.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: And in that play, you should be nearby hearing that play because that's when the teaching happens.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: As the child is playing, maybe you hear them playing dolls and they're not being kind.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: What if this doll is being mean to this doll?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: You'll learn a lot listening to your kids play and maybe what's going on somewhere else.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, this is my biggest struggle as a former elementary teacher.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Kelsey, don't hang me here, but I'm gonna tell you right now the puzzle teacher system teaches third and three and four-year-olds to be reading and writing.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: There is no reason for a child to have to read.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: None.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like until they find a reason, they don't need it.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Trish, for putting that in there.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: So if your child reads at the age of five versus reads reads at the age of eight, that's not going on a resume.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody's ever gonna ask your child how old were you when you learned to read?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so what I found is parents who push the reading because of the stress on themselves, their kids hate reading.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: But the parent who goes, All right, not this year.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's all right, we'll just figure it out.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'll keep, I'll keep um reading to you, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the parents who can relax whose kids do better.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll be honest, the number one secret to homeschool success is mom chilling out.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: I know that's not what you want to hear, but it really is.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, you have to rewire your brain, and it's hard.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard because the world is telling you something differently.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is literally the battle I'm having with my almost seven-year-old.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is why he's not even eight yet.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: Her or he.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you need to let them play.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Now, here's what happens.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm gonna tell you she.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, thank you.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is exactly what it looks like.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now that I can look back and see what happened, okay.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Looking forward, I didn't see this pattern.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Here's what I saw because it happened with all five of my kids and every child I know who got to play.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, when they're little before the age of eight, you let them play.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And if and then you read to them.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then if you if that's all you do, what happens is your child will come in and start asking, how what's this word?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Can you show me how?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then slowly um learning how to read becomes natural.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I had one child at the age of four ask for that, and one child at the age of eight ask for that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and so each child will do it differently at different times when they're interested because they want to read the book by themselves.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: I had one child who refused to learn.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, thank you.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yummy.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, he's the best at making eggs.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Dang, yummy.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I had one child who refused to learn to read because he would was afraid I would stop putting him in my lap and he wanted snuggle time.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: So he didn't read till he was like nine.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: So learn that the hard way.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: So what happens?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: You let your child play as much as they want.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: As they get older, about the age of eight to twelve, sometimes it's 10, depending on the age of the kid, eight to twelve-ish.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: They are now academics.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: You add in the reading, writing, math, science, histories, but no more than one or two hours in the morning.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: You still make as much of it as fun as possible.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: The point is introduction.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're showing them the world, you're showing them science, you're showing them history.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's all about look over here.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: This is beautiful, this is cool, and you're discovering together.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: So that 10 or well, eight, eight to twelve range is about discovery.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: So if they play at the first eight years, the discovery actually happens naturally.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to push it.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: When they're they go through play, and play is discovery.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: So they're starting to discover, and as they're starting, you'll see as they turn seven and eight, their discovery becomes, can you show me how to read?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because they want that's part of their play.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then they're like, What about this bug?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: Why is this bug?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, right.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: And you what happens is they slowly they do this, you don't have to guide it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: They move into discovery phase, and now the world is opening up slowly to them as they get older.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Oh my gosh, what is that?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's questions.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Questions until you go crazy.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's why, why, why?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's the beautiful stage.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's annoying, but it's a beautiful stage.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: So you go from play, play, play, all they can see is the room in them.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to teach them anything outside of what they cannot apply.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: If they can't apply it outside of the life they live in, you don't need it.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Wait for them to ask for this.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: Then what happens is as they ask and as their world starts to expand, they will ask, they will ask, they will ask, and their world expands and they keep asking.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: And you give them, you feed them as they ask.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: When they hit 12, they've seen a lot of the world and they want to know more about something specific.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: You might have a mechanic who now wants to know more about bikes and cars and how to fix them, or you might have an artist who just wants to paint more.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: Can I have more time?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: But notice the children as they're getting into that phase, they're still playing.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: They never noticed that the education started because they're still playing, because you let them play at the beginning.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: So discovery time was the play, it was age-appropriate play.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: 12 to 14 is dive in time.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: They're diving into topics they love, they're finding out things, they're going deeper.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: But guess what?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: They're still playing.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: So they go from who knows what playing, right?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: In the younger age.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: Then they go from why, why, why, still playing?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Then they go into I want to learn more, I want to learn more, I want to learn more, still playing.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then they become adults, young adults.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: And now they're going, mom, how does money work?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: Can you show me how trading is?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean, the stock market?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: Show me why, how is so-and-so rich, and can you tell me what he does?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: They're still playing.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Do you see?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's play all the way through.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's just their topics change and how they dive into them change.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And when you allow that to happen naturally, your child's unstoppable.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: But if you go in too soon and try to push a topic too soon because somebody said he's so he's supposed to be doing that, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's seven and not reading yet, so something's wrong with him.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Can he does he see a point or reason to apply it in his life?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, then keep going.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: He'll get there.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: If he's 16 and still not reading, yeah, there's a problem.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: If he's even 12, you might start looking, right?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: Look in, make sure there's no dyslexia, make sure there are issues.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: Don't get me wrong.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: You need to look into.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: And always, I'm always into that too.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Always make sure the health is right, right?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: This is why we do body, mind, and spirit first before the academics, body, mind, and spirit before academics, because then you can see are they having like then I can tell when my kids are off.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they're sick.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: We need to get them to the doctor.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, somebody's tonsils need to be taken out, right?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: So you're always making that adjustment.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Clarissa says, This is so true.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I made more mistakes with my oldest than my younger ones.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: My younger ones love to learn and are super happy, but my oldest has always been grumpier and not a fan of school.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: He, yep.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it skipped.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_02: He was the one that went to school for his first half of elementary, so I'm not sure if that's why.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: It is.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: He didn't have a good experience in the school system.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: And that's exactly what the school system does.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: It just ruins learning.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: It does.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: My oldest does have a big interest in science, and he usually likes to watch science videos, but I do think he has a negative outlook on school because of the school system.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: For some reason, I just never could break the negativity with school.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: So let me help with that, Clarissa.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: The point is to get him back to playing.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: So um, in the Thomas Jefferson education system, it actually explains why this is what it is.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what happens is you're so, and this is what's happening with the society in general.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: So childhood has been removed slowly, right?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: It used to be go to school at six, then it was five, then it was four, and now it's three.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: And now that two, everybody's sending them to preschool so they can learn.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: Well, what's happened is childhood has been removed with learning.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so kids aren't being kids, and then they're doing this for how long?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: And they're expected to have adult behaviors, sit still, learn, learn topics that you don't care about or can't even apply into your life, and do it happily and get good grades, and right?
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: So their childhood has literally been removed from them.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so what's happening is as these children, these generations, are graduating high school, their bodies never, then their brains never had the play experience and never developed the skill of filling their own time, of handling their own time, of solving problems, all the things play brains.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so they're coming out of school and they're going, I need to go be a kid.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: And these adults' bodies and brains are still craving the childhood they never got.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so now they're being kids.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: So one way or another, our our brains have to have the childhood phase.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: And if we remove it from them in the early years, they will take it back in the later years.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: And now we have adults who can't function because they're too worried about playing, partying, getting their playing because they never got it.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: I have seen this over and over and over again.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: So my my kids, and this is what this is fascinating.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: Personal experience on this.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: My I I let my kids play.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was having, I honestly, it was hard, but.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was kind of forced on me because I was so busy.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: I was dealing with some other things in my life.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I just let them play.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and because I was always having more babies.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: So they did play a lot.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: And then I watched them as they got 10 and 12.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: We started doing more academics.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: And then they got older and they started diving into their own topics.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I became more of a manager, making sure they had the resources they want and less of a get it done.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: But and then what I saw, well, actually, it was my daughter, my oldest daughter was 18 and wanted to get married.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: And my husband are like, What?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: She actually came to us at 17 and said, This is the guy I want to marry.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: And we're like, Oh, you're kidding me.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he's a great man.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: But we were just like, No, no, no, no, no, you're still a kid and you need to be a kid, and you still need to go to college and you still need to live and you need to still party like all the other kids your age and you need to go play.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: And that was kind of our like, and she sat us down and said, Look, mom and dad, you gave me a childhood.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: You let me play, you let me be a kid, you let me do all the things I wanted to do, and I am now ready to enter the new phase in my life.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: I am done being a kid, I don't need that anymore.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm ready to be a wife, a mother, and move on.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: You've always let me move on when I needed to move on.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm asking you now to let me move on.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: And we went.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and yeah, we cried a lot.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: That was a really hard emotional time for us.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: But she was right.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: Up until that point, we had let her guide her own ideas, and and then all of a sudden, she had an idea that we did not love, and we were like, mmm, and we had to let that happen too.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: She's now a mother, she's been married five years, she has two babies, and she's the happiest I've ever seen her because she got a childhood, she got to play.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: She let and you know what she does with her kids, focuses on play.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she works with reading, she reads to them constantly, they're playing.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: He thinks writing letters and tracing is the best thing in the world as a three and a half year old, and that's fine.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: He thinks it's a game.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: But she is like, My kids will play.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: They will play because she learned it herself.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: Now, my third child, my son, he went on a mission.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: He was in this, what they call a mission home with hundreds of other kids his age.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what he said?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: After being like Carrie had been homeschooled all this time, and now all of a sudden he's in this place for two months where he has to learn how to be a missionary and be amongst all these kids and like follow a schedule and actually have to do homework and study, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: He had never sat in a classroom before, and now he had to do it all day long.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Mom, it's interesting.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: He says, I can see the kids who got to be kids when they were little because they're mature.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: He says, But you can tell the kids who never got a childhood because they're still kids and they're acting ridiculous.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's like there are a bunch of five-year-olds running around here.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I can go in and I can tell you exactly which 19, 20-year-olds got a child and which a childhood and which ones didn't.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's obvious.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, he made that observation completely on his own and came and told me.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, isn't that fascinating?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so, just as ex-teachers, guys, as you're wanting to put that control on that child because it's not what should be done, ask yourself, pull back and look at where they are in life.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: Are they in discovery stage?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: Are they in humanity stage, eight and under, where I'm just learning how to be a human?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: Am I in eight to twelve stage where I'm starting to discover the world and all its possibilities?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: Am I in dive into it stage where I found a few things I love and I want in?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: Or am I in like a scholar phase where I am ready to go after some cool things with knowledge?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, if you let this flow happen, the entire life is playing.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: They never started to work.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: They never learned, they never went to school, they just lived, they just learned as they went, and nobody ever stopped them.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the magic of homeschooling, right there.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's the full magic.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it's the hardest thing to wrap our heads around because we were not given that.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: So go read Thomas Jefferson Education.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: That is what that book taught me.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: I had, I had noticed that, I had seen that.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: I love, I love human behavior and the the rhythms of it.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: But it wasn't until I read that book that it just like clicked for me.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I get it now.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: By the way, it has some great marriage advice too.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Just saying.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, my daughter went to public till three.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: You need this so much, Kelsey.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad this is helping.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's such an interesting way to look at it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you, Clarissa.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: You just ordered a copy.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: I highly recommend it.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, they that that company actually has some, I don't know if they're still running.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: They were, they were like one of the only homeschool um companies for a long, long time.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it's where I really learned the importance of just reading out loud to your children every day, no matter how old they are, like reading out loud, which count anyway, great book.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: It will help you in so many ways.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_02: But the best part is it will free you up as a parent to allow your kid to be a kid without the guilt.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because what you'll start to see is you'll start to see their play and you'll start to see what they're learning through that play, instead of going, oh shoot, we're not getting our math done.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, we didn't get to history today.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: But if you sit back and you watch, like just observe, be a scientist for a minute.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: Take a notebook and sit down and write the things you see your kids doing when they're not doing anything and listen to them.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: When they're playing with their dolls and cars, how are they talking?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like there were times I'd sit down and be like, Why are your dolls being mean to each other?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, okay, but we don't talk to people like that.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I would literally, can I be this doll for you and you be that doll?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: And was it?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you so much, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so we would do, I would do things like that.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: That was a huge lesson.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: We don't talk to people like that.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Do you like it when somebody talks mean to you and we'd have the right?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: Or maybe we're they're cooking, they're pretend cooking, or they're cooking with me, or we would garden, or we would do yard work together.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: The point was is they're constantly learning.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: And just because it's not coming from a curriculum doesn't mean it's not learning.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if you need to know how to write this down for the so-called experts who you have to answer to, yeah, that's just a verbiage issue.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: You just write that down, however, you could like this is the whole unschooling, anyway.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's a whole other topic, but okay, questions about that.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: That book changed my life and the way I homeschooled.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: And it actually what it did is it solidified and justified what I was starting to happen naturally over time, praying about each issue, trying to figure out what I needed to do.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that book really helped.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: It also, by the way, helped immensely with my marriage.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes there's some there's some stickiness in a marriage over homeschooling.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't think the kids are doing enough.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: I think they need to be left alone.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: He thinks that they need to be reporting, blah, blah, blah.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: I say give them, leave them alone.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: There's great, right?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I can almost I'm assuming most of you don't always agree with your spouses about how it should be done.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes his ideas are perfect, and sometimes they're way off, and sometimes it's not, and that's fine.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so that book helped with that.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: It gave me some great marital advice as well on that homeschooling, like sometimes friction between husband and wife.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter has picked up ventriloquist.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's adorable.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, Britney, I love that.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: And why not?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: This was one of the hard things for me, too.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: When my kids would get an interest, and I'm like, my first thought, because this is what we're taught in public school, that'll never make you money.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: I had to get that out of my head and start going, cool, try it out.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because I did learn that over time my kids would dive into something, maybe even for a year, for months, for a year, and then they'd be over it and then move on to the next thing.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: Then they'd dive into it.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then, and it's like his parents were like, You want to be a ventriloquist?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: Did you know how much money they make?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see how they perform.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let me get you a coach.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: And they're just like, I just want to play with the puppet, right?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: I oh my gosh, I was horrible at that with my first couple of kids.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: You like singing?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go look at Britney Spears and see how she her career grew or whatever.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I did that, but um, and and we run with it, and my kids would be like, Whoa, stop pressuring me, mom.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to play a guitar, right?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I would be like, You guys need to aim higher.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: No, I need to just let them play.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: And what happened is some instruments they picked up and they left, and others they held on to and loved.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Same thing with my music practice.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: I let them play different instruments and test different instruments until they found one that fit their personality.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: I have a piano player that loves piano.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: I have a guitar player who loves the guitar, I have a drummer who loves the drums.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I'll tell you right now, my piano player would have never loved those drums.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that drummer hates the piano.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so we had to let them try them.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're like, oh my gosh, I've paid for 18 classes that nobody is now taking.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: But you're letting them discover, and that's the point.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: Let them discover.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: Don't require piano of all your children, require music.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: But I have one child who doesn't play anything, she just writes it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: So do you see the the difference there?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is it's about they anyway.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I was about to go off on a total tangent there.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: So, questions, thoughts, comments.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: She should totally do a ventriloquist show for us.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is this Mountain Dew an apple cider?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Is this Mountain Dew an apple cider?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Apple cider and out and uh orange juice.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's more sugar than I can handle.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know help finish all of it.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, thank you.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, Mountain Dew is my go-to caffeine after the pre-workout has worn off.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Shame on me.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Good for me?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, we all have our our things, right?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, my daughter has picked up a just ordered her first doll.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love it.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: How do I not I know if I'm doing enough?
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, this I let me tell you, I'm gonna be 100% open with you right now.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's not, I'm following the daily schedule.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, great questions, by the way.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: I get these questions a lot and I love answering them.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, how do I know if I'm doing enough?
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: Doing enough is not something you track with a notebook.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's not something you track with a transcript, it's not something that you can take a checklist and follow.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: How you know you're doing enough is whether or not your child's happy.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: Does your child wake up in the morning excited to learn?
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: That means they're being challenged and they're learning something.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_02: A child who has been allowed to learn what they want when they want will love to learn.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: And they will go faster than you can imagine.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of us think, how am I doing enough?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: I always think I'm not, I'm not.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: And we're trying to measure it.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: But our children don't have that same yardstick.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: Our children wake up in the morning and go, What sounds good today?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: You might have a list, time to get your reading, writing, math done.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like every morning, my kids have their get your have-tos done, and then they do those.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and they and they go through my homeschool villages curriculum doing it all.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so we know, right?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Those are my older kids, my younger kids, all of my kids, I watch them.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: I watch their eyes.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: If the light starts to go out in their eyes because they're tired, they're depressed, they're anxious.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: We find out why.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: Is it homework?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the math?
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: Is it somebody at church?
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: Is it something you're looking at online you shouldn't be looking at?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: Is it somebody in the family is maybe not being appropriate with you, right?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna go in and you're gonna investigate and find out why there's not a light in your kid's eye right now.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe needs a doctor because their chemicals are off and they need, right?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: You do you investigate constantly.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if they are just bored, you're not doing enough.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: Are your children just bored?
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: Boredom is the sign of not doing enough.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's time to add something in or challenge them in some way, introduce something for them.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um I just um have you seen, Brittany?
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: Have you seen my um daily schedule?
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: I guess I'm scared that what I have to fill out for New York State that she won't be learning what she needs.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: We are still healing for bullying severe with the childhood.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'm gonna tell you.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna tell you right now.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: Here's what you do to New York State, okay?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: You write down whatever they think they need to hear.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: And then you do whatever you need for your kid.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: Period.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody comes in to look at your like that's the bottom line to to to reporting to the state.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: Here's how I see it.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: I answer to God over my children.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: The state might think I answer to them, but I don't.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: I answer to God now.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to write down to the state whatever I have to write down to keep them off my back and allow me to educate my children the way I need to educate them.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Period.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I do actually have a video using New York's form on exactly how to fill it out using my homeschool village's curriculums.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: So if you have my curriculums, you're using my homeschool village's system curriculums.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: I have a video that says fill this out here, fill this out here, fill this out here, and I show exactly what to do.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: It might be time to update because I think I've changed out some things.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: But um, and and you can write down whatever you want.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I'm all about being honest in all your dealings and not lying.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I am.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I also believe that the greater good is keeping my children safe and healthy, regardless of what the state thinks.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Take that however you want to take that.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: I do want to say that it's getting better with my oldest not being so negative a school, but that's only because my mindset recently changed.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, so who is it that it's us, right?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's not our kids that need to change.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: We're the ones that have to do the shift, and then our kids follow.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was recreating the school system when I took him out to homeschool years ago.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: We all do it, it's okay.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't until recently that I stopped doing that.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: Now, homeschooling has been so much more joyful.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: Not perfect, but definitely better.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, amen to that.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: Amen to that.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what I've seen over and over again.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's not about what the kids are or are not doing, it's about what is mom doing.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: Are you pushing an education they hate?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: Are you pushing topics they are not interested in?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Are you expecting something of them that should be expected in a few more years?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: Are you overexpecting?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: And you'll see a shift in your children.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: They'll they'll start to shut down when they're overpushed, over expectation, over because they start to feel like failures.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_02: But when they don't feel like failures, they feel like they're learners and they're enjoying.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: They'll be happier because they get to seek after learning.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: That means that they're you've you've got a good balance, or they're bored, which means not enough.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_02: So it's anxiety, depression, overwhelm means too much.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: Happy means good, happy medium.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: Bored doesn't know what to do, needs some needs some challenge.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_02: She has why can't I do the older kids?
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wait, let me make sure I got okay.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: She has why can't I do the older kids?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: She wants more, she wants to do coding.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_02: Letter, right?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the things I realized is one of the biggest hurdles my children had in in learning more and doing more was me.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because I was going, I don't, I don't think you're old enough for that yet.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you really need to do that yet.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean you're in?
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, we'll do that later.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like I kept holding them back because no, we need to study this instead, because that's age appropriate.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: Blah, blah.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, my kids actually have much bigger brains and are much more creative than I had any idea.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't realize how limiting a public school is and how limiting a public school brain is until I started watching my children without limits compared to my brain with limits, and they thought bigger, they thought further, they thought better, they thought so much more than I did because of my limited public schooling.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_02: And they were just like surpassing what I had any idea a child could do.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's really important to let your kids go.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: If they're interested, go.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: They might hate it in three months.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: Don't be one of those parents who's like, you have to stick to it.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're children, they're supposed to be discovering.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: I do not, I'm so glad my parents didn't hold me to what I chose to be when I was ninth, or I'd still be a firefighter.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be a firefighter.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: So don't stick your kid to what they known in the past to commit to things they don't know in the future.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I put you on speaker.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: Would you mind saying you want you would want to see Harper's Ventriloquism?
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, Harper.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_02: You should come on and show us your act.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: We would love to see your act.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: I think that is some very cool stuff.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, is it okay if it's not their color or age?
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_02: You mean inside the curriculum?
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: You do what works.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: So we have some special needs kids.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: We have one who's 15, adorable, but she's special needs, and she hangs out with the fifth and or the five and six-year-olds because emotionally that's where she's at.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: And that's okay.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_02: The whole point of homeschooling, even my homeschool village.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: When you join my homeschool village, you get access to all 12 grades, even if you have a third grader.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_02: And the reason is so that you can go in and they can take off.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: If they take off in math but slow way down in reading, totally normal.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's like they go through growth spurts in education.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: So your children, right, when they're little, they go through growth spurts, when they're teenagers, they go through growth spurts, and when their bodies are growing hard and fast, their brains kind of shut down.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: So kids are the dumbest when they're growing.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, reading and writing does the same thing.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like you'll have kids who'll just do so well in reading and writing, and you're like, they're gonna be writers, and then a month a year later, they're like, hate writing, won't touch it, and they just want to do math.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so you'll see your kids do these like swings, actually.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's more like a swing back and forth with topics, ideas.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_02: Let them swing.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's how they discover, that's how they find out what else is out there in the world.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so with my homeschool village, the whole point is we give you the buffet, the entire curriculum.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you can go in and go, hmm, she can do that, and maybe a little of that, and you create the plate.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: And every six months, guaranteed, you're gonna have to recreate a new plate because that's just how it works.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: Every six months, your child's gonna be like, I don't like this anymore.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_02: You go back into my homeschool village, okay.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do this, let's do this.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I struggle with a kid who wants to choose the programs she wants.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: She did the placement test with Type C and now says she doesn't like Type C and wants to use typingclub.com.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: Look into that, or doesn't want to do CTC math and wants to do her own thing.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I have a child like this.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_02: So what we did is we sat down and was like, all right, you have to learn math.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then I gave her multiple options.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but the one child chose a book, she just wanted it in a book.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: She liked the handwriting of it.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: She did not like online programs.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_02: Her brain didn't work with math that way on online programs, and she needed to write it down.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I bought her a book.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: I had um another child who hated just reading for the sake of reading, and we had to do so.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm a big fan of set the expectation, but be very loose with the how.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: Let them decide the how.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_02: So if they're not loving type C, it's okay.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_02: The point is she's learning to type.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: Now, granted, if you have to pay for another program, sometimes you're like, too bad, that's the program I got, sweetie.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not paying more.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Fair.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, be careful with free websites.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, those only end up bad.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, the point is for you to you require that math be done, especially at an older age.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm not talking about eight and under, guys.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about that eight to 14.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like we do math in our house.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's just who we are.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's what we do.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's an expectation.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: How you learn it.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: I had one kid used teaching textbooks, loved it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: Child number two hated it.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Child number two used, what did she use?
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can't remember.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's been a long time.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, they each use all my kids use different maths, all my kids use different writings, which is why I have so many resources inside my homeschool village, because every child clicks better.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's like making every child have the same friend with the same personality.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't work.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_02: They have to find their own style.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_02: And if you allow that freedom, they'll learn for you better.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_02: But when it's like, I don't like the way this math works.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, now how old is your daughter, daughter, Janelle?
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because great um generation genius has great math in it.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: She said, Thank you.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, my mind has blown.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't understand curriculums.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I literally have just followed the daily three and other everyday.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_02: I feel stupid.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, do not feel stupid.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is a new world.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: This is such a new world.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when you say curriculums, do you mean my homeschool villages curriculums or any curriculums?
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I can give you better advice on that.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_02: Janelle, there are different courses.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my Okay, okay, let me go through that in just a minute.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, to know there are different courses in Type C that catch the kiddos' attention.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_02: Josiah didn't like the robot type C little ones.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: So we found the interactive typing course, which is not so kiddish.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yo, thank you, Trish.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_02: The interactive typing course is also inside Type C.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's all about just what you need is insight, the different, like like like Trish just said, maybe just find something different inside Type C and C.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: Presentation, right?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Mega mind.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_02: Quote it for me.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you love my homeschool village.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Brittany.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you say you don't understand the curriculums.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone in particular, or just the way they work in general?
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um how long have you been with us, Brittany?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to think what you have access to.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to figure out where you're at so I can help you with it.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, are you doing the co-op?
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_02: Two months.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Did you start with the co-op?
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_02: So you're using the live classes, but not the curriculums.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, let's let's get into that.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Trish.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'll go through it type C with her and see if I can find something she likes.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: I told her I didn't think she gave it enough of a chess, but she's my stubborn child that I struggle most with.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think she's very similar to me.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I will tell you, Janelle, something I worked with my most stubborn child who was just like me.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: We negotiated a lot.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I would say, look, you gotta learn typing.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I know you don't want to do it, but make me a deal.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know how many times I would be like, just make me a deal.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_02: And quite frankly, I was because I was so sick and tired of the fight.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, just make me a deal.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta learn typing and you want to watch movies and play video games with your friends.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_02: How's this gonna work?
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I let them come up with a solution.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes they would actually come up with like, mom, if I don't do my math every Monday, every day of the week, you can take away my and I'm like, that sounds a little harsh, but it's your rule, so okay.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so there were often, let them negotiate, let them come up with the plan because then they own it, then they'll do it.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you say, you have to learn to type, whether it's Type C or this program, or you can do it the old-fashioned way and put a book in front of them and let them right.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_02: There's ways they can do it.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: Your job is to hold firm, and you're gonna learn to type.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_02: You get to decide how, here are your two choices.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: And the more choices, and now I say the more choices you can help, the more control they have.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm not talking about giving them 10 choices on type-C.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about when you go into types, you say you can pick this one or this one.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: When you go into maths, you can say you got this curriculum or this curriculum.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_02: You give them two choices when it comes to that, but you let them choose as much as possible so that they earn, own, so they own their own education, so that they take that ownership and they start to learn better.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: The more control your child feels they have, the better they will learn.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: The less control they feel they have, the more they're gonna fight you.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_02: Guaranteed.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: Harper's asking about coding.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_02: We can't find coding in Type C.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have the Type C yet?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: There's a whole coding program in Type C, four languages.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_02: Pick one.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: Go into um Type C.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: So the curriculums inside my homeschool village are all about this.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: Freedom to homeschool the way you feel you need.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_02: And now you have a child who says, I will love coding.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: And we go, My homeschool village has that.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let me show you where that is.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_02: My child loves to draw.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_02: My homeschool village has that.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: Let me show you where it is.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a uh one of our kids wants to learn how to sew small teddy bears and animals.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: Guess what?
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: My homeschool village has that.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: Let me show you where it is.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: That is literally what our curriculums are for.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_02: They're not for you to go in and be like time for learning and click, click, click, check the box, check the box.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: They're made for the child who says, I love mechanics and I want to be an engineer in NASA.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_02: And we go, my homeschool village has something for you.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that's, and then you go in and you pick that out, and you now you can go in and like assign, and that's what the record book is for.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have the record book, Brittany?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_02: There's a whole record book that you can go in and do the books, and and you can take that and use it for New York or whoever you're and that's in there for those who want to do that, but it's also built for the mom who says, All right, I got, see, there's all my five kids.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's an old picture.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, this one is an artist, and she wants to focus more on artistry.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna do read writing and math and science and history around that art.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: So she's gonna draw pictures of kites while we read stories about Benjamin Franklin.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_02: I I know I use that example all the time.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and whereas my second child who loves to build things with his hands is actually gonna build the kite.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_02: This one's gonna draw the kite, this one's gonna paint the kite, this one's gonna build the kite, this one's gonna clay the kite, this one's gonna write, and and and you can do those little adjustments.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_02: And my homeschool village provides those resources so you can.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I'm afraid I overcomplicate for you guys and I totally max it out.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_02: We are finishing assessments for ADHD and autism originally for IAP.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I'm gonna tell you something right now.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_02: If your child, you know, you're actually not gonna tell you anything, I'm gonna ask you a question.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_02: If your child shows um ADHD and autism, what changes would you make right now?
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: Just out of curiosity, like every child is has their needs.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_02: Some are really bad at reading for a long time and struggle, some struggle with writing, some struggle with math, some struggle with science, some struggle with every child struggles with more than one topic, period, because every child has a strength and a weakness.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, many strengths and many weaknesses.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: Your job as the mother is to take the strengths and help them fly with them while still taking the weaknesses and keeping them in.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: But you focus on their strengths because it builds confidence, it shows them they can do it while pushing in the weaknesses one at a time so as not to overwhelm them and make them feel like failures.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: And every child is gonna have a different set of strengths and weaknesses, and so you're constantly tweaking that as they get older, they'll have different ones.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: Brittany, I sent you screenshots of type C teaches coding to look for inside type C.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Trish.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: Me learning more sensory stuff to help with overwhelm and focus.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it's more about your education and how you can help your child.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I only I only ask because sometimes those tests are made.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: Some parents seek out tests so that they can label their kid and give an excuse why they can't.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: And those for that, those tests upset me.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_02: But when it's for mom to educate herself, say, oh, I didn't understand this about you, let's change that.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: I say bravo.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's exactly what those are for.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't think they're for, I just seen a lot of parents like, I just need my kid labeled so that I can tell everybody why they can't do things.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the label is only good if it helps you recognize strengths and weaknesses and allows you to support the strengths while strengthening the weaknesses.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_02: Does that I'm over them and no, I hate diagnosis.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_02: I have a lot of the same and no, icky.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_02: Where have you been my whole life?
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: Brittany, right here.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just trying to get people to show up.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Here to help you, darling.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_02: Here to help you.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_02: All right, you guys, thanks so much for being here.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate it.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for being a part of the family.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's the rep for today.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you're leaving with something real, something you can actually use.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_02: This is a long game.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to get it all right today.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just show up tomorrow.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's enough.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_02: If this episode helped you, share it with another mom who needs it.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're ready for a village to do this with, find us in the show notes.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: And until next thing, keep going.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: The revolution starts at home.