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Transcript

Why Do Goals Fail? · Arise Women of God

• 0:00
  Have you ever set a beautiful goal only to watch it crumble because life got in the way or you simply lost momentum?
• 0:08
  Most of us think we fail because we lack willpower.
• 0:11
  But the truth is usually found in the way the goal was written to begin with.
• 0:17
  Today we're answering the high stakes question, why do goals fail?
• 0:21
  And by the end of this episode, you will understand how to shift from outcome obsessed to process driven.
• 0:29
  And we're going to help you solve the pain of failure guilt by introducing the Learning Step mindset.
• 0:37
  We're moving from the frustration of setbacks, the peace of becoming who God intended us to be.
• 0:43
  Stay tuned.
• 0:44
  Ordinary women Extraordinary faith When God calls, we say yes.
• 0:51
  The Arise Women of God Podcast hello and welcome to another episode of the Arise Women of God podcast.
• 0:58
  I'm your host today, Tamara K.
• 0:59
  Anderson, and joining me today is Amanda Powell, a member of our Women warriors of Light Advisory Board.
• 1:07
  Amanda has spent a career legally responsible for ensuring her students goals succeed.
• 1:15
  And today she's sharing her expertise with us.
• 1:19
  First, we're going to discuss why focusing on the baseline is more important than staring at the finish line.
• 1:27
  Second, we'll share how to ask God for the specific spiritual gifts you need to achieve your mission.
• 1:35
  Third, we'll talk about the learning step, the phrase that eliminates the word setback from your vocabulary.
• 1:43
  And finally, Amanda is going to share a raw story about the 75 hard program and what happens when your goal goes against what your body actually needs.
• 1:56
  But let's first kick it off with Amanda sharing a little bit about baselines and becoming.
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  Yeah, well, I've spent a career in writing goals, and one of my responsibilities was to make sure goals did not fail.
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  If my students were not making their goals, then legally I was held accountable.
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  So I had to make sure that they did not fail.
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  And one thing that I have found is we set this goal right.
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  We begin with the end in mind, right.
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  Which is this goal that we want to reach.
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  Sometimes we forget to set the objectives, which is really the path to get us there.
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  And for me, that became the important part.
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  Right.
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  So you have your where you're starting from.
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  You have your baseline.
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  This is where I'm at right now and this is where I want to be.
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  And we focus so much on where we want to be that we forget who we're becoming.
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  And what we need to do is keep that in mind.
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  Yes.
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  But focus on what do we need to become what we want to become.
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  Right.
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  To reach that goal.
• 3:00
  So some thoughts that I had was we hear a lot in scriptures we read in the process of time.
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  And I think that goes so hand in hand with goals because in the process of time we're going to reach this goal, but we actively need to be taking steps which become our objectives and we need to celebrate
• 3:19
  every step that we take.
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  You know what I mean?
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  So that's what we need to do.
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  One thing I love to do when I'm setting a goal, right When I.
• 3:27
  Because I am a big goal setter.
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  So when I set goals, the first thing I do is I look at the goal and I say, okay, what do I need to do?
• 3:35
  What are the steps that I need to have in place to reach this goal?
• 3:38
  And then I go to what gifts has Heavenly Father given me?
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  What are the gifts that I have that are going to help me make this goal?
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  And then my next question is, what are the gifts that I need?
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  What lack I get?
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  What gifts do I need?
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  And then that drives my prayer, right?
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  Like, okay, Heavenly Father, you are telling us that we can ask for any spiritual gift that we need.
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  So here are some gifts that I know that I'm going to need to meet this goal.
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  I love that prayer.
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  What lack I.
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  Yet when we involve God in the blueprints, the goal stops being a performance and starts being a partnership.
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  Even with a partnership, we often set goals that are just too vague to measure.
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  If you don't know exactly what success looks like on a Tuesday morning, you're setting yourself up for discouragement.
• 4:31
  Next, Amanda and I are going to talk about the importance of setting more specific goals and the learning step strategy.
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  I think it is so important to break goals down.
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  I noticed that as I have set goals that maybe I haven't accomplished, sometimes it's because I don't know if I have accomplished it.
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  And that is because I just haven't gotten specific enough with the goal, you.
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  Know what I mean?
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  And so, for example, I have goals here written on a whiteboard so that I can see them.
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  That is something that can help you if you see it on a daily basis.
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  Oh, yeah, I've got to do that.
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  I've set that goal.
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  But what if you set a goal and it's just a little too vague?
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  I want to write a book, you know what I mean?
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  Well, how does that look on a daily basis?
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  How do you know if you've accomplished that?
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  It's almost like, well, I don't know, what am I going to do?
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  And so you almost have to break it down and say, okay, three days a week I am going to Write for one hour.
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  There you go.
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  And that way you can totally tell, oh, I hit that goal, you know, and then I love how you, you mentioned rewards.
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  Reward yourself.
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  Okay, when I have written those three days a week and I've written an hour, I'm, I'm going to reward myself immediately by.
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  And then fill in the blank.
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  What is one of your favorite things?
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  Some people like to go sit out in the sunshine for a little bit.
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  Other people like me, I love audiobooks.
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  And so if I'm taking a break in between doing something, I will push play on my audiobook and disappear into this fantasy world that is so happy for Tamra, you know, and so making a goal measurable helps you
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  so that you're not going to fail.
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  Yes.
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  You don't know.
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  Well, I don't know.
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  I did I accomplish that goal.
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  And if you don't know, then, then you start to get discouraged and then you're like, never mind, it's, it's too hard.
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  I, I, I don't even know where to start.
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  Right?
• 6:38
  Yeah.
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  And you know what, you said setback.
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  And I would hear that so many times like, oh, this is a setback.
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  And years ago, I changed that little phrase to a learning step.
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  Sometimes when what we feel is a setback, you're going to push your body.
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  But there's times when your body is going to be like, hey, I know we've got this goal, we're going to hit this goal, but we need to slow down right now.
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  Like, I need some time, I need some tlc, right?
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  And so I love the learning things.
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  So anytime there's a setback in, in my world, that's what I call it.
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  Okay, what, what can I learn from this moment?
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  What?
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  And then you course correct.
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  If it's something you need to course correct.
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  Sometimes it's in the process of time, right?
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  Sometimes it is.
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  You need to slow down.
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  And sometimes that very much is what is needed.
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  So there you have it.
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  It's not a setback.
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  It's a learning step.
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  This perspective shift is vital because when we get sick or life throws us a curveball, our all or nothing goals, like the famous 75 hard program, can actually become a trap of defeat.
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  Next, Amanda is going to share the danger of all or nothing goals with a personal, raw story that taught her a critical lesson.
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  So a few years ago, my daughter calls me up and she says, mom, I really want to do 75 hard.
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  Have you heard about 75 hard?
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  Okay.
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  It's a crazy exercise program that literally, like, you drink A gallon of water a day.
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  You eliminate something from your diet and you add a healthy choice into your diet.
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  You have two exercise rotations of 45 minutes each.
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  One has to be done inside, one has to be done outside.
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  You read 10 pages of a non fiction book, you connect with somebody.
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  So like, I mean the idea behind it is great.
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  So it was one that I could get onto, right?
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  But I knew that I could not do 75 hard.
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  And so given my background as a sped teacher, I knew modifications and accommodations were everywhere.
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  So I did 75 hard soft and which just meant I still did it, but I just wasn't as committed as my daughter was.
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  Well, she ended up finding out that she was expecting and so she was like, I'm out, right?
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  And I was like, well, I'm going to keep going.
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  I'm going to keep going with this.
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  And then I got really sick.
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  I ended up with COVID and I was so sick.
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  And anybody that's had Covid, you know that that just wipes you out.
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  Well, the rules of 75 hard are you cannot miss a day of any of these things.
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  And if you do, it is start over.
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  So the rule is 75 days, you're going to do this and you're going to see a difference.
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  But if you miss a day, you have to start over.
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  And come rain or shine, right, Snow or hell, you are walking, right?
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  You are outside in that weather doing something.
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  And so I got Covid.
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  Well, I mean, wipe me out for 10 straight days, okay?
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  Knowing that I had to start over, I gave up.
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  I was like, no, that's ridiculous.
• 9:33
  But had I been able to say, okay, what am I becoming?
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  Man, I am reading a non fiction book that is making me become so much better in so many areas.
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  Every single day I am moving my body.
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  Every single day I have replaced deep fried foods with a healthier option, right?
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  What am I becoming?
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  But the moment that I felt that I that goal was out of reach, I went backwards.
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  I was just like done.
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  I'm not exercising.
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  It just was so defeating to me.
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  So it is so important to give ourselves grace and to realize that even in those moments of what, what you call setbacks, I call learning step, there's a learning there, right?
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  Even in that Covid moment, there was something for me to learn.
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  Because also in that goal of 75 hard or, or 75 soft, I needed to learn how to listen to my body.
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  That was an important role for me.
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  And I was pushing my body and then I became sick and I couldn't push my body.
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  Wasn't it more important that I learned how to listen to my body?
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  Yes, right.
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  And then I get up and just like you do.
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  Okay, maybe I'm not biking as far as I was, or I'm not swimming as far as I was, but guess what?
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  I can walk.
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  So I think those are really important when we're setting goals if you've been.
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  Shaming yourself for a learning step this week, it's time to stop.
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  My friend, God is more interested in what you are becoming than how many boxes you've checked while you had the flu.
• 11:05
  To help you write goals that actually stick, go download our A Guide to Goal Setting for Christian Women.
• 11:11
  It features the Don't Quit Emergency Kit, which is one of my favorite favorite hacks to help you avoid those Covid moments without giving up.
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  And if you need a community to help you reverse engineer your goals, check out our Women Warriors Accountability Group.
• 11:27
  The links are in the description so my friends, go take a learning step today and until next time, may you arise.
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  Do it God's way, God's strong.