Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose...To Be A Badass with Yvette Nicole Brown, Jenn Tran, and Jackie Tohn

Transcript

I Choose...To Be A Badass with Yvette Nicole Brown, Jenn Tran, and Jackie Tohn · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. Okay,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: being a badass isn't just about being cool. It's about
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: blazing your own trail, standing up for others, and using
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: your beautiful voice. Today we are going to jump into
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: an incredible panel of women who are doing just that.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Actress and podcast host Yvette Nicole Brown, actress from Netflix
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: pitch show Nobody Wants This, My Girl, Jackie Tone and
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: former Bachelorette, and she recently was gorgeous on Dancing with
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: the Stars Jen Tran. Before we get into our I
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Choose to Be a Badass panel, I want to just
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: thank some of our sponsors from the event, Third Love.
• 1:01
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• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You can too. Okay, let's get into this panel.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: We've got another panel who all right, So these are
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: some women who have blazed some trails, so please help me.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Welcome our next panel, which is I Choose to be
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: a bad Ass. So First up, Emmy nominated actor known
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: for her roles in Community and a Black Lady sketch
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: show that the Call Brown Here, I'm Dad.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Dance it up, dance it up.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: Take it all right.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Next up, TV personality and former Store of the Bachelorette
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: who actually Recidy competed on my alma mater Dancing with
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: the Stars.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Please welcome Jen Tran.
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: I'm going Lord and the Jen Boots all right.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: And last but not least after comic and writer known
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: from the hit Netflix show That Is Awesome. If you
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: haven't seen it, make sure you check it out. It
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: is the show nobody wants this. It's Jackie tom.
• 2:48
  Speaker 6: Am I walking normal? Am I locking normal?
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Here to shave?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: I leave it to you.
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: Jenny. All right, Hey, gorgeous girl.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: All right, you guys go take it away and say
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: it twenty years.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you guys. I love this panel. I
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: love this panel too.
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: You everybody doing?
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: How about I thought? Yvett said, what's everybody doing? I
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: was doing a pan just so hustle me somebody doing immediately.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: You, guys, what do you think it takes to be
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: a badass start? I think it takes persistence, yes, for sure,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: willingness to reinvent yourself as much as you want.
• 3:29
  Speaker 6: Yes, what else? You know, not being afraid to be unliked.
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: And this is coming from a people pleaser. I'm a
• 3:35
  Speaker 6: people pleaser, but the idea of understanding that sometimes you
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: have to make a move that people may not like
• 3:40
  Speaker 6: and it's okay as long as it's the right thing
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: to do, it's okay. I oh, were you about to go?
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: I will step on today.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: Yes, you will save the best of real lass to
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: you first, Okay.
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: Jokes.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: So, I feel like something just happened to me yesterday.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: And I think one of the things that makes me
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: feel badassy is it's really hard to do and it
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: makes me uncomfortable. And I'm still working on it, but
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: advocating for myself. And yesterday was that a rehearsal for
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: something and we had ten minutes and I really needed
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: to focus, and I knew that I would maybe look
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: like a bee if I asked the people four inches
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: away from me to stop talking at full voice. While
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: I was in the middle of a full rehearsal, I
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: had to focus on something. I had someone in my
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: ear and two people were just fully arguing right next
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: to me, and I was like, years ago, I would
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: have just been like, okay, truck through, truck through. And
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: then I just like on the mic, was like, can
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: you guys fight ten feet away? And then they moved
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: ten feet away, and then I kept rehearsing and I
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: was like, can you actually fight further away than even that?
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: And afterward I said to my publicist like, did I
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: look I probably looked like such a bee, And it
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: was like, you have to, you have, we have to
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: get the job done. We're the like, we're very we're
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: forward facing, you're it's us who you see. And so
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: I don't know, that's a long winded answer. Does anyone awake?
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: I love toad answer. I agree.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go off of a bad's answer a little
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: bit here, but I'm gonna say going against the green,
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: like don't be afraid to do something that's out of
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: the box, are totally different. I think growing up I
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: was so afraid to do something different than what my
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: peers were doing. And I find that when you do
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: something different, that's when something incredible truly happens. And so
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: I'd say that that's kind of really what's helped me
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: become pretty badass.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I'd say, I agree with you on your bad assess,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: and I'm so glad you feel badassy.
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: I would like to congratulate all the women up here
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: on their bad assery.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I can't top that. S TM. I own that now
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: you are the just definition of badass, true, Jenny. You
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: speak your mind, you talk about things that aren't.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: Right, you talk about politics.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: You're not afraid.
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: I'm not, you know. I believe in and hear me
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: out everybody. I think that everyone is given a platform
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: for a purpose, right, And so there's some people in
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: the entertainment industry that don't speak up because, oh, I
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: got the job, and I want to keep getting the jobs.
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: I have a college degree and McDonald's is always hiring.
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: So if things go terribly wrong for me because I
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: spoke up about something that matters, then that's fine.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: It's fine.
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: And you have to be at the place where you
• 6:16
  Speaker 6: have to decide, am I going to care about this country?
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: Am I going to care about other people? Or am
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: I only going to care about myself and me and mine.
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: We have to come together and be for all people
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  Speaker 6: or none of us are going to make it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: So thank you.
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: So I use my platform for good.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And this is the thing.
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: Everybody has a platform. You don't have to have millions
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: of followers. Have a platform. Your platform might be the
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: produce section at your local grocery store. But if you
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: see something, say something and encourage other people to people
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: to do the same. So that's how I live my life.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you have a lot of badass friends?
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: Every single one of them, every single one because I
• 6:49
  Speaker 6: think you draw to you who you are, right, So
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: either people need to level up and become someone that
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: cares about others or they're not supposed to be around
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: me because the way I move, you're going to start
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: caring about everybody. If it doesn't work with you're gonna
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: get out of there yourself.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, speaking of badass, you recently got married.
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: I did.
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: People. Oh my god, that exclusive in People was gorgeous thing.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I think your handsome husband is here.
• 7:16
  Speaker 6: He's not here today because we are We couldn't find
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: someone to watch our dog, and we are those crazy
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: people that don't leave the dog home.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Alone.
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: I love that dog is so like spoiled. So he
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: had to stay home with Harley, but yeah, he was
• 7:26
  Speaker 6: gonna comedy sins his best.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: You waited for a while in your life to find
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: the right.
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: Fits, I'll say a while. Can you say fifty three?
• 7:33
  Speaker 6: Fifty three? I got married at fifty three. And the
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: reason I share my age with people is because one,
• 7:39
  Speaker 6: I think that women have been sold to bill of goods,
• 7:41
  Speaker 6: and we've been told that after thirty five were worth nothing.
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  Speaker 6: We've also been told that if you're thirty five and
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: haven't gotten your husband and your kids yet, you're really
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: worth nothing. And I disagree with that, And so I
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: refused to just pick a guy because they said it
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: was time. I waited until I found the one my
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: heart loves, and then we got married at fifty three.
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  Speaker 1: So it's fine, that's you choosing you right there.
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  Speaker 6: I chose me. I love that.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: What So do you have bad These women are all
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: bad asses. All of you are badasses. I think every
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: single woman is a bad ass. Right, That's why we
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: name this panel badass.
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: It feels right, it feels right. Yeah, I didn't suggest
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: a change of name.
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: I read it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: I said these are the ladies on it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: This is crunch you.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: You've talked about having type two diabetes, Yes, and turning
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: that around. Yes, share with people how you did that.
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: You know what we were in the black community, we
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: call it sugar. You got a little bit of the sugar, right,
• 8:29
  Speaker 6: there is a sugar. And we all have seen people
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: that came here with arms and legs and feet and
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: they left here without some of those. They just start
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: cutting off pieces of your body as a diabetes takes over.
• 8:39
  Speaker 6: And I decided that I need my feet. So when
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: the diagnosis came, I was like, let me, maybe I
• 8:45
  Speaker 6: don't need to eat all the donuts when we take
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: a break on Community. Maybe I can just have that
• 8:49
  Speaker 6: craft service. And craft service got did me dirty. If
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: you guys watch Community from the first season to the fifth,
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: I gained like sixty pounds so and that was me
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: going to eat donuts and stuff. So I realized I
• 8:59
  Speaker 6: have to change my life in some way. And so
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: that's what I did. I stopped eating all the sugar.
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: I started walking. I'm not I don't love exercise, but
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: you gotta do it. You got to move your body.
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: And I want to be here for a long time.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: We're talking about longevity. Yeah, yeah, it's what we need
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: to focus on. I think got us absolutely. What about women?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: So I heard you say that women over fifty, over forty,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: over fifty, they're overlooked. How do you say that that
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: is changing in today's environment?
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: You know, I think it changes by things like this,
• 9:30
  Speaker 6: what you're doing your podcast. It changes by women showing up.
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: How many women are here have felt invisible at some point?
• 9:36
  Speaker 6: You know, you're on the air you're getting off an airplane,
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: and they're helping everybody else with their bags, and nobody
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: helps you with yours. No one holds the door for you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: And each woman that raised their hand can remember when
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: that wasn't the case, on the line of demarcation from
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: when you were away and that was seen and when
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: you became invisible. Maybe it's one day you had a
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: lash on, you went out without the lash and the lipstick,
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: and all of a sudden, you're invisible.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It's the worst feeling. Don't feel invisible.
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: Exactly, And so you have to then decide yourself, no,
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: I still exist, I'm still here I will vocally. So
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: you're just gonna go get Sally's bag. You're not gonna
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: get mine. I'll say it and they'll go, oh, oh okay,
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: let me. Yeah, I'm a woman too, I'm a lady,
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: so you know, so.
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: You just have to speak up. But a woman looks
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: at you and she's like, my name is Linda, who's Sally?
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I understood it. I understood Jen.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You were a badass on The Bachelor. Everybody that saw that.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: You're the first Asian American to represent on the Bachelorette,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: and you did an amazing job. You are so inspirational.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you because you turned lemons into lemonade.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: Oh I love lemonade so good.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Your life is a lemonade now you killed it on
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: It amazing. I was blown away. I didn't expect to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: see that from you and me.
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: Neither, honestly, never dance a day of my life. Yeah, never.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: Dancing's very it's very different. It's very vulnerab You got
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: to move your body and your booty and ways that
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: you never moved before. And I've never done that before,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: so it was very interesting.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: You've pushed yourself out of your comfort zone a number
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: of times in the last year. Yes, tell us how
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: important that is.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think it's so important to push
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: yourself outside of the comfort zone. And I think the
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: reason that is is because I think oftentimes we're so
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: complacent in our lives and we sit around and we're like, oh,
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: why is this happening to me? Why is my life
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: like this? Why is X y Z happening? And I
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: think our life is in our own hands, Like we
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: have the power to change our lives at any moment,
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: and it starts slowly. It's one decision to the next
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: decision to the next decision. And for me, I've always
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: had to push outside my comfort zone to reach the
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: goals that I've wanted to reach. Yeah, and if you
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: don't do that, then you won't end up at the
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: place that you want to be and you're going to
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: be unhappy. So I think the overall message is to
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: remember that your life is in your own hands, and
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: you were the person without power at the end of the.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Day, Jackie, when's the last time you did that?
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: Put yourself out of your comfort this morning? Never probably
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: never comfortable, Jenny.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: I wasn't putting on your suit because I told you
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: backstage how cute you look.
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: I look so adorable.
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: I look like, oh, you need to clap you angel babies.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: I felt like putting this on, I look like a
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: paper doll going on the office, like a toy office worker. Okay,
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: I'm in I'm obsessed with it, but I paper doll office.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: What I was gonna say about what Jen was saying,
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: damn it, Jackie with the ADHD was the very last
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: thing you said, because I was gonna say to me
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: before I did the alpha bit.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You don't remember either.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: You have the power, yes, yes, you have the power.
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: You have the power.
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: So I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday and we
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: were having a conversation when you have these hard conversations
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: when you feel like someone's your boss but really kind
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: of they work for you, but it's this awkward or whatever.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: You work together.
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: And I remember, remember I when I was more focused
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: on songwriting, I worked with a publisher and he said
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: this sort of cheesy thing, but I think of it
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: almost every single day. And he was just like we would.
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: I was in my twenties, I had nothing going on
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: at no money, and he would constantly tell me I
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: was the CEO. Every he would be like, he would
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: be like, well, what decisions are you making on this?
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: So you're the CEO.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: You're the CEO of Jackie Don't incorporated.
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: You're the CEO of this song. You're in this room.
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: It was your idea, you pitch the title, you are
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: the CEO.
• 13:29
  Speaker 7: What is it?
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: And then I have chills And it's like to speak
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: to a Jema saying, it's that feeling of you. We
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: feel like everyone else is pulling the strings, and I
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: think in a lot of ways they are, but of
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: the things we can control, It's like I said about
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: that weird story yesterday. It's like, without being mean, I'm
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: the CEO, and I'm asking for a boundary in this
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: situation so I could get done professionally the thing I
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: need to get done. And it's pretty cut and dry.
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: And one of my friends was.
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: Backstage with me and she's like, where do you get
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: the balls? And I was like, I don't know, but
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: I'm learning as I get older, you have to fake
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: the ball. So you I have enormous I could barely
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: This took a turn.
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: Jenny.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: I apologize.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: You should never have asked you.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: No.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: You know how much I love you.
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: What did you ask me to we were talking?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: You no I love you. I I wanted to talk
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: to you a little bit about Jewish representation on TV. Okay,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: because you are killing it, your character is I'm sorry
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: the breakout on that show.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: I would never tell anyone you said that, tweeted everybody.
• 14:48
  Speaker 6: No, No, I'm just kidding.
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: Don't use Twitter, obviously, delete your account.
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: My good.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Out here, Get me started. Do you feel proud? Do
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you feel like I love that representing your culture in
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: a new way that you have it before.
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, I I am very.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Me and.
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: Also Jewish at obviously, and it feels nice to not
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: have to you know, not every character you play is
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: going to be you years and years ago when it's
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: going on auditions all the time. I did an episode
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: I played like this girl with a drinking problem from
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: the South on an episode of Memphis Beat, and it
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: was so fun and weird, not a big fake accent,
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: and it was just a delight.
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: And this is the polar opposite of that.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: This is a community of people and a crew of
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: people that I'm working with who are valuing my opinion
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: and asking my opinion and making sure that the Jewish
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: representation is authentic, and making sure that the people saying
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: these words make sense saying them, And I got to
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: tell you, it feels real good. It feels it feels fabulous.
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: My mother is plotzing.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: It's a delight. Wait, what does plotzing mean? I don't.
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: It's like plotzing is like shepiknachus Jenny.
• 16:17
  Speaker 6: No, I'm kidding.
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: I knew, I knew, I would just make it more confusing.
• 16:21
  Speaker 6: Plotzing is like being so excited.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: For someone just you can't keep it in. Yeah, like
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: you're watching someone succeed and you're just like over brimming.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I'm plotzing for you too. I know how hard you've worked.
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I feel that you actually are Jenny,
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: and not as a joke. I'll get emotional, but I
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: don't know you yet, and I'm so excited to meet you,
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: but I know both of you, and you are both
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: so authentic, so proud of you that I'll cry if
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: I think about how kind you are, just so supportive
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: and so warm. And when you see a person I'm
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: in my forties, like I'm first. You know, it's nice
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: to get yours when you know you're close to dead.
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: That's how they treat us, like you're howled. But yeah,
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: you two are both I mean just for those of
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: you out here, not that you would ever think they aren't,
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: but so authentically supportive, and it's I think it used
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: to be a lot more rare, but I think now
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: we find as we get older, like, well there's room
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: for all of us, and keeping your elbow on someone's heads,
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: that that's not making there be less room, Like we're.
• 17:28
  Speaker 6: Gonna, we're gonna find a way around. I've heard of
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: a phrase it says a candle loses nothing by lighting another.
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: A candle loses nothing by lighting another. And I think
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: especially in this industry where totally one can get through
• 17:40
  Speaker 6: it's a lie.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: It's a lie.
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: It's wide open and celebrate and support each other, and
• 17:44
  Speaker 6: not just in this industry, in life, help people, see people,
• 17:47
  Speaker 6: show up for people, support people. It's important.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: And then what ends up happening is every we all
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: want to be around each other exactly, and then we're friends.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: And so you'd end up doing something and you're like, oh,
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: these people should come and do it, and so by
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: not keep your elbows on other women's heads, you're like, oh,
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: we all have room to blossom and be near each
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: other and laugh and be silly.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was such an eye opening experience for me
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: when I started doing the QVC with my Q fifty sisters.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: There's a group of women called the Q fifty and
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: we represent women of a certain age. And once I
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: stepped into that environment of women supporting women and building
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: women up and helping them and inspiring them, my life changed.
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: I feel the exact same way I was up and
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: coming when I was an up and coming comic. It's
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: such a boys game. I mean, everything we do is
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: a songwriting. I just all a boys game. And I
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: think with women on television there's generally only there's one,
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: Like there's one funny girl on the show, is it
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: going to be?
• 18:53
  Speaker 7: Using?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Who's it?
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: And so you're always having a fight for your spot.
• 18:58
  Speaker 6: But I also think that.
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: The changes coming from the inside where now things are
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: being written like that like Glow, that show I was on,
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: they were like, oh, all the crazy chickens can come
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: and play. There was fifteen of us just absolutely being bonkers,
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: and so there's just it's nice to be in a
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: space where there's like at least a little more room.
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: You know, we got a long way to go.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: I will say you have to find those people though,
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: because I think if you're confined in a space where
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: a lot of your friends are the people around you
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: are competing against you, then you feel like the whole
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: world is like that. And I think I've kind of
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: had to learn the hard way and cut ties with
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: a lot of people over the years and realize like, no,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: those aren't my real friends. People who are competitive with me,
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: who are jealous of me like I, and so what
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: cutting ties with them is like the best thing I've
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: ever did, because it's hard.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: That's so hard.
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it is really hard. I call those this is
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: not catchy at all, but I've been calling it this
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: for years.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: The friendship scissors.
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: Got to take them out. Bye bye, bye bye baby.
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: But also, you're not happy for me?
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: What is this?
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: But you also have to realize it becomes easy when
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: you realize if someone's competing with you, they're not a friend,
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: they're front. So it's not hard to cut an enemy
• 20:06
  Speaker 6: off or someone that is out to get you. You know,
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: not that people are out to get you, but you
• 20:09
  Speaker 6: understand either we're both rowing in the same way in
• 20:12
  Speaker 6: this boat to get somewhere, or you're digging holes and
• 20:14
  Speaker 6: lend it's brought water and waiting for us to sink,
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: which are you?
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: And if you are not rowing with me, you got
• 20:19
  Speaker 6: to get out the boat. I don't want you to
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: drown if I have a boat.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: Remember when I said that much less eloquently and worse
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: than an event like maybe a minute ago.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: But I can so relate when you were doing the
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Bachelor Bachelor, I get some confused.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: Bachelor and Bachelor.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, did you have that feeling inside of you or
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: what was that environment like for you?
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: It's tough.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's when we are going to be competitive
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: when it's twenty five of you dating one man.
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, absolutely, it's hard not to be I think, and.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: I mean even I was pretty competitive, but I also
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: kept my relationship very private when I was on the Bachelor,
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Like I was like, these girls are my friend, but
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: I'm also my heart was in it for that man
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: at the time, So you had to do what you
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: had to do. But at the end of the day,
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: after all was said and done, we are a lot
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: of us are still really good friends. So I think
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: that's also something to be said about womanhood.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Right, I think, I mean, to be honest, growing up
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: in the business, feeling those competitive energies, and especially with
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: the way this industry works and being pitted against one
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: another to get the role or to have more lines,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: or to be pretty whatever the thing is. I struggled
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: with that, if I'm being perfectly honest, now, no, not now,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: back then. I mean, there's still those little voices inside
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: my head that I have to hold back.
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: You came up when it was really rough. It was
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: nineties girl. I'm glad you made it out because it
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: was right entertainment. It was a lot of stuff going on.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, it was rough, and I think that
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: it made me stronger, but it also was very Is
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: this the word thwarting?
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: Thwarted? You thwarted me?
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Thwarted?
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Honestly one of the worst words.
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: You're using it properly, but it's a terrible As you said,
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: it's a right, it's correct, but it's horrible. Thwarted.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it wasn't sorry about to use it. I know. Sorry. Well,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: it wasn't until later that I really realized that we are.
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: All in this click what click for you?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I have to be honest. It was it was meeting
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: the Q fifty women. It was it was meeting and
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: realizing I don't want to surround myself with people who
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: are insecure and challenging or like fighting with me for attention.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: I want to be around women that are smarter than me,
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: better than me, and they can teach me. And I
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: like when I find new friends like many of you
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: here today, it's because you inspire me.
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: Can I since you've brought it up, can I speak
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: of how much I love you? Certainly I'm a little
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: I'm a smidge older, but I was a big fan
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: of nine to two one Oho. You're my favorite, and
• 22:59
  Speaker 6: I I feel like I grew up with you because
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: I was watching I was it was my first year
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: of college when the show came on, and so I
• 23:05
  Speaker 6: watched the show and my first time meeting you. But
• 23:07
  Speaker 6: I've always felt that you were good people. I could
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: always feel in my spirit that you were good people.
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: So when this opportunity came to be able to meet
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: you and be on this panel, I was like, yes, please.
• 23:17
  Speaker 6: So I want you to know that who you are
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: shines even back then when you were going through whatever
• 23:20
  Speaker 6: you were going through, your general kindness and sweetness and
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: care for others always showed. So thank you, Yes, thank you.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: It's so easy to get derailed. It's so easy to
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: get derailed and to listen to the wrong messaging and
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: believe it.
• 23:36
  Speaker 6: It is so true and to what you were just saying, Jenny,
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: I was the exact same way.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I struggled with it.
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: I was very much you know, you just wonder, like
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: the one other girl on the show, like how many
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: scenes is she in? How many does she have more
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: to do than me?
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: And oh god, I only have one line, one nothing.
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: I'm practically not even in this. And it's hard when
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: there's so little. There was so little given to women,
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: especially in comedy. It's it's hard to not feel competitive
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: and you try not to. But it did change for me.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I was lucky my Q fifty.
• 24:13
  Speaker 6: I guess it was glow because season.
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: One it was there a little, there was a little
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: juju of like like we loved each other, but it
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: was it was quietly competitive. It was like not passive aggressive,
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: but it was just like question me, like oh how
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: many scenes?
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: Like do a lot to do in this next one?
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: And these kind of things, and then those conversations just
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: went by the wayside once we started like fully watch
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: like me watching my friend's kids and being like sort
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: of ingratiated into everyone's families and lives. You just start
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: loving each other and it doesn't matter anymore. So that's
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: when it sort of dissolved for me. But my I
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: started acting when I.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Was nine, So my entire career I was really.
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: Like, probably a little pushy and elbowie because it was
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: so important to me to get mine and I wasn't.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: But it really didn't until I was thirty six.
• 25:03
  Speaker 6: This is what's crazy about that. Though, I believe cream
• 25:05
  Speaker 6: always rises to the top, right, And so I think
• 25:08
  Speaker 6: I'll use my example when I was in Community because
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: my character was not really written and this is no
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: shade against Dan Harmon, there were other people to do
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: other things, so I didn't have a lot to do
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: on the show. It looks like I did because I
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: knew that I was in the corner of the screen
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: and somebody, even even I didn't have lines, somebody was
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: going to look in that corner. So I would give
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: them something. It would be a facial reaction, it would
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: be a grunt, it would be that's nice when it
• 25:29
  Speaker 6: wasn't scripted, and I said, whoever that person is watching Shirley,
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: I want them to have a good time and so
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: I take that with me everywhere I go. And it's
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: not about stealing the scene. It's just I don't I'm here,
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: the camera's doing a two shot.
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: This is what Shirley would do.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: It's a shot.
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: Surely would have something to say about that, could chase something.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Surely be in it, be there.
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: And the thing is, you still show up. So whether
• 25:50
  Speaker 6: you have a line or not, whether you're the focus
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: or not, even if you're in deep background.
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: You're still there.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: You're still a part of what of this.
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: Tableau, of this mosaic that's being hate it and you
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: were undeniable. There's no way it wasn't gonna be you.
• 26:04
  Speaker 6: Were you kidding?
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: You kiding me? My mom?
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: Event love Jewish mother. No, I love it. I appreciate you.
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: I mean, this is how she speaks it. Really it's
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: very heartwarming in it. It means a lot to me,
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: it really does.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: It's the key. I think you're such a great example
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: of this building other women up.
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: Absolutely, it's so important. Brick by brick, we have to
• 26:26
  Speaker 6: This is the other thing, Jenny. I remember when I
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: when I came into the industry. I have a group
• 26:30
  Speaker 6: of friends, my tribe, my group that I came up
• 26:32
  Speaker 6: with we share information, so we will hear about an audition.
• 26:35
  Speaker 6: Go Girdie looking for us gone. This is the this
• 26:37
  Speaker 6: is the cast and director. These are the size, This
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: is how many people were in the room. Because the
• 26:40
  Speaker 6: other thing is sometimes you find out about an opportunity
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: because it is someone else's opportunity. You heard about it first,
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: but it was always jackiees. So who am I to
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: stop Jackie from her opportunity. If it's mine, it's got
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: a bowl on it that says event, no one can
• 26:53
  Speaker 6: take it. If it's Jackie, it's got Jackie's bowl, it's
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: got your boat. So why am I not gonna give
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: her her present? Why would I?
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Why would I get She needs her presence.
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: I love their information.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Wait, this is not We're just not loving each other enough.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: You are. She's such an amazing human being, you guys.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Do you know that she turned down season six of
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Community just when it was coming strong to take full
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: time care of her ailing father.
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 27:29
  Speaker 6: Yeah, twelve years later, we're still going strongly. And Daddy.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I saw him on the wedding video when they brought
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: him down the aisle.
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: I borrow the ugly cry. I was like, I'm about
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: to lose this lash. This lash is about to just fall. Yeah,
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: And that was a wonderful surprise that my husband. My
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: dad has dementia and he had a fall recently and
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: he no longer walks, and so the idea of trying
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: to get him to the wedding I could. I mentally
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: couldn't figure out how it could happen, and so I
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: just said, I'll go. I'll go after tomorrow. We'll put
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: the dress back on, we'll go to where he's his
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: carried place, and I'll show him the wedding. And my
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: husband knew that I would not be okay if my
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: dad wasn't there. And so after I met him at
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: the altar, he says, do you trust me? I said yes,
• 28:08
  Speaker 6: He said, I'll be right back. He comes back in
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: willing my dad in. There was not a dry eye
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: in the girl. I was a mess, Jackie. I was
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: a mess, a mess, honey. So, yeah, my dad is
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: everything to me. And I want to say this, since
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: you brought this up, guys, be mindful that before we
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: leave here, we will all either be a caregiver or
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: a caregiving So you need to wrap your mind around
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: what that means for you. And know that it's not scary.
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: Caregiving is just loving someone else. We do it every day,
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: and if the person has dementia, we're a caregiver, a
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: caretaker of their memories. What a great gift that is
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: to be able to tell my dad about his life.
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: Daddy, remember when you used to singing you do walk
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: group back in Alabama?
• 28:49
  Speaker 6: He said, I did, Yes, you did. It's a beautiful
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: gift that you can give. So please, when it's your turn,
• 28:56
  Speaker 6: lean into it. When it's your turn, let somebody care
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: for you. Let somebody care for you and be okay
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: with caring for others.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: You can do it.
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: I promise you can do it. Okay. Please, I see you, honey,
• 29:08
  Speaker 6: I see you.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: So what I want to know?
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: Why are you?
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Whether are the emotions? What got you here? I want
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: to support you.
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: You get it?
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: You get it.
• 29:23
  Speaker 7: Wait?
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Wait, I'm going to bring you a microphone. Okay, yeah, no,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: hurry your stake, baby, you need the spotlight.
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: Thank you, Jenny, You're so beautiful, so are you?
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: Thank you?
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: My I I knew a little bit of Samantha's story.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: If you want to know my breast cancer story, it's
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: exactly hers.
• 29:49
  Speaker 6: It's we went through it at.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: The same time twenty fourteen, for forty years old.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Everything.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: While I was going through my breast cancer, I was
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: taking care of my mom who was going through ladder
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: cancer and to keep ourselves sane through it all. It
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: was one hospital after another and we would just go
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: to gift shops to keep ourselves going.
• 30:16
  Speaker 6: And I know, I know, and and I took care
• 30:22
  Speaker 6: of her full time.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: I left my job as a flight attendant to take.
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: Care of her.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: And I lost her in twenty fifteen.
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: Sorry, she was my rock, she was my best friend.
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: I missed her tremendously.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean, it's just it's yeah, And I
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: mean I sat there and we told the stories. And
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: you know, prior to that, I had lost my sister
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: and my dad. And it's it's terrible, you know.
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: And what's something I will share with you. And I
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: lost my mom in twenty twenty one, and I get it.
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: It's it's horrible. The grief is equal to the love.
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: It is so when it is tearing you up, you
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: will get to the point where you laugh because it's
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: like Dad, I had a great mother. Oh my sister
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: was awesome. Because I am tore up right, now, and
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: that's the way it should be. If you're loved good.
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: When they go, it's supposed to hurt. So just know
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: that that is a sign that that you did it
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: right and she did it right. And I'm so sorry
• 31:24
  Speaker 6: for your loss and.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: It will last your life. You never get over it.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: I hate when people say that, you know when when
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: you're gonna get over it. You don't get over it
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: because you love that person forever and your grief will
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: be forever.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Yes for sharing, thank you for.
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: Ginny and I share one more thing. Just care, give
• 31:50
  Speaker 6: me space.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And this is not no you are you know about this?
• 31:53
  Speaker 6: This is not self serving. I really I did a
• 31:56
  Speaker 6: podcast called Squeezed, and it's about those of us that
• 32:00
  Speaker 6: what she just described, where she's going through her own
• 32:02
  Speaker 6: thing and then she's getting squeezed because she has to
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: care for her mother. Some people are caring for children
• 32:06
  Speaker 6: and also their parents. Please find the podcast because it
• 32:09
  Speaker 6: is literally like a friend in the journey. You can
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: turn it on and here it's like a docu podcast
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: where you're hearing these lives and you're hearing people talk
• 32:18
  Speaker 6: about what they're going through and sharing what got them through.
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: You can put it on in the background where you're
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: caring for someone. You can put it on the background
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: where you're going through a treatment yourself, and it makes
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: you feel like you're not alone. So it's called squeezed.
• 32:29
  Speaker 6: It's everywhere.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question about this, sorry, How
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: do you find the time to choose yourself when you're
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: a full time caregift.
• 32:37
  Speaker 6: I don't know the answer to that. Self care is
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: so bad for me. I don't know how to do it.
• 32:43
  Speaker 6: It's good for me. I just know how to do it.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: And that's why the idea of I choose me is
• 32:47
  Speaker 6: like resonating with me in ways I can't even explain
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: to you right now, because it just it's a choice. Everybody.
• 32:52
  Speaker 6: You really do have to say No, I'm gonna go
• 32:54
  Speaker 6: get a bagel today, I'm gonna go get my coffee.
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna take my sake.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Oh gets me every time.
• 33:00
  Speaker 6: But well, little butter Toasted the batil gets you every time,
• 33:04
  Speaker 6: you know, go to the movie, you know, go go
• 33:07
  Speaker 6: visit friends and have a bite of lunch. You have
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: to find a way to prioritize yourself. And it's not selfish.
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: We were not and I were saying this backstage but
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: very common concept. But you can't help anybody if you don't.
• 33:22
  Speaker 7: Have your own own Coxtons, and so it's that it's
• 33:25
  Speaker 7: my My mom's generation was all very and she used
• 33:29
  Speaker 7: to tell me anything she did for herself was like very,
• 33:32
  Speaker 7: it's very selfish.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: You're very selfish.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: It's okay to be selfish, though you have to be
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: selfish sometimes.
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: Are you're going to survive. And we have to change
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: the words.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: I was just gonna say it selfish.
• 33:44
  Speaker 6: It's it's caring for yourself, you know, it's choosing.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: It's selfish choosing to say change selfish to choosing me.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I choose me, I choose me, and it's not selfish,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: it's vital to your wells. Yep, yep, Jen, What was
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: the most badass thing you've ever done, both on television
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: and in your real life?
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: Oh that's a good question.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, go get my pjs out, let's get.
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: The line out.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Really skill, let's see.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: I would probably say the most badass thing I've ever
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: done on television is probably the Batcherette finale when I
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: was sitting across from my ex fiance at.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: The time and ex.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: Fiance excuse me, and I had to basically like confront
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: him in front of a live audience on live I
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: remember how well for the entire world to see, and
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: basically had to like fight through tears to find the
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: words to confront him and get my truth out and
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: and talk to him and kind of call him out.
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: And I will say that.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: That would have been very hard for me to do,
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: like even two years ago alone in a room with
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: like an X, but like to be able to do
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: that on a stage.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Where did you find this strength in that moment? Balls?
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: I grew balls that day. I gave her a special aliss.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: She gave me the ball Balls.
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: Honestly, we really don't have you.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: Let's change that.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want to neither do I.
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: No, I don't mean we don't even we don't even
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: theoretically need like we as women, Yeah, we do not
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: need We don't need them anyway.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: But I will say I think there was a certain
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: like the live element to it definitely scared the shit
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: out of me. But I will also say it also
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: pushed me because I was like, this is my one
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: and only shot. This is the only time I have
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: to say what I need to say to this man,
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: and to get in to hear everything I need to say,
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: and to get the world to hear everything that happens,
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: because otherwise no one's going to be able to.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Know what really happened.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: And that was kind of what pushed me over the
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: edge there.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: All my daughters and myself were standing up cheering for
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: you in my living.
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: Thank you, thank you.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: So real life was in real life? Well that was
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: your real life.
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: Oh that was kind of real life.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was that was two for for sure.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: I love that. And you have the courage to continue
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: forward and keep finding out what's next for you by
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: going on Dancing with the Stars.
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: It was the best time of my life.
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: And that's why I say, like take every opportunity you can,
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: because when I started The Bachelor of the Bachelor, I
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: didn't know it was gonna end up on Dancing with
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: the Stars.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Thinks they're gonna end up there by nobody does.
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: Nobody does. That is like a dream for like five
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: year old Jen, Like I watched that show all the
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: time growing up.
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: I was like, I always want to be on the show.
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: I thought I was gonna be a pro dancer because
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: I was like, maybe I'll take some dance lessons one day.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Never got to that stage, never thought I'd be like
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: the star of the show, but I it was incredible
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: and it was like the best time of my life.
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: I truly do not think anything will ever overcome it
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: because I just had so much fun. It was like
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: the most therapeutic thing and came at such a therapeutic time,
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: like I've really needed that.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have girls coming, women coming up to
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: you now and thanking you for being so brave?
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah? I do, And it is kind of a crazy
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: thing to hear so many people come up to me
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: and like thank me for just being the first Asian
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: American bacheh, or for just being so vulnerable. But I
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: think that the vulnerable part is the part that makes
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: me so proud to be able to do because growing
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: up I was never so vulnerable in my household, Like
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: my family never really talked about our feelings, and so
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: all those kinds of things were kind of just closeted.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: And so for me to be able to go on
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: TV and just like talk about what makes me mean,
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: what I'm afraid of, what I'm most insecure about, what
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: scares the shit out of me, I think it really
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: resonated with a lot of people and to be able
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: to just have my heart fully out there and for
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: everyone to see that.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: I think more people need to do that so that
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: we can get vulnerable. I want to talk. Let's talk
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: about vulnerability a second.
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: I was just gonna say, authenticity works every time. Every time,
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: It's like you can't really choose to do it or
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: not do it. If you are you are and everybody
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: just feels it.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Whenever I'm inauthentic, I can feel I'm out of alignment
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: with who I'm meant to be, who I wander and vulnerability,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I go bruggle.
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I just I just did just now.
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: I literally just case and pointed my own self.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Wait to explain it, what happened?
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: I just like I just make everything funny, like I
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: try to make every difflect with always, but I feel
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: very deeply and I love to connect very deeply. And
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: I'm super attracted to vulnerability, like I'm a magnet to
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: a vetom just to just you dive right into futu
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: and it's just this feeling of like, oh this is
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: so it just feels so connected. But I don't I
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: don't lead with that. I think you ladies lead with that.
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: I lead with like I'm in a doll work outfit.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: I'm saying, I always have some shick what's scary about
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: it for you? What is it about vulnerable?
• 39:08
  Speaker 6: Sorry?
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: Okay, well I just don't even know if it's scary
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: or if it's like I think, if we're getting real real,
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: I think it's inherited trauma. Because my mom is the
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: most amazing, funny, wonderful person, but she is so sarcastic.
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: And my grandma, who is a Holocaust survivor and the strongest,
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: most amazing woman you would have ever met.
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: I came out in my prom.
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: Outfit and she's like, this is what you're wearing, and like,
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: if this is who we are, this is what we do.
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: We never led with vulnerability, Like my grandma would be
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: on the couch like in her very very old age
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: and I'd be like, hey, what are you doing and
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: She's like going dancingk what does it look like I'm doing?
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: You're like, okay, So I am from a long line
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: of just like absolute capital wise assery, and so I
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: just don't lead with like feelings almost ever. And so
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: I realized, like in a relationship even it's like I
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: have to oh, yes, I have to, Like really, I
• 40:11
  Speaker 5: go to therapy and then I'm like, how should I
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: word it?
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: Like what words should I say?
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Truly me?
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: What to do?
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 40:17
  Speaker 6: What are the words?
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: And then I like come home and I struggle. Like
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: even my boyfriend is like sometimes I'll just say things
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: and he's like, I don't think I'm saying this to
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: raise your consciousness. I don't think you know how you
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: just said that.
• 40:27
  Speaker 7: I don't.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: I don't think you just heard yourself. And then I'm like,
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: dead serious, do a line reading. Because he's an actor too,
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: I'm like, how was it? And then he do it
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: back to me and it's like, ooh, but I don't
• 40:37
  Speaker 5: mean it like I'm trying to have a connected emotional conversation.
• 40:42
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 40:42
  Speaker 6: You know what I'll say this. You do have the
• 40:44
  Speaker 6: ability to be there, you know what I'm saying. So
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: I want you. I want you. You can keep doing
• 40:48
  Speaker 6: your work as we all should, but just know that
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: you show up for people authentically and we can feel
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: that you're there. We can feel that you love us,
• 40:57
  Speaker 6: we can feel that you see us. So don't think
• 40:59
  Speaker 6: that the wise assery is blocking the beating. Sweet delicious heart,
• 41:04
  Speaker 6: I see tears I see her, she knows I see her,
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: and and I want you to know that that we
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: it's there.
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: It still comes through, you know what I mean? So
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: just know that that's It's also like a muscle that
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: you flex.
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: You know, you're not great at it the first time,
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: but the more you do it, the easier it is
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: to get it open.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really nice. You guys are my girlfriends.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Ride or die?
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: Baby?
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like.
• 41:35
  Speaker 6: It's really great. It's really good.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: What would you, ladies tell each of you just a
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: quick how can we be better? Badasses?
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: Trust yourself. Your gut knows what you're supposed to do,
• 41:50
  Speaker 6: what you're supposed to say, where you're supposed to be.
• 41:53
  Speaker 6: You know it, and you know how you know it
• 41:54
  Speaker 6: because when you don't do it, you feel bad that
• 41:56
  Speaker 6: you didn't do it. You know when it's your moment
• 41:58
  Speaker 6: to stand up and be the bad and when you
• 42:01
  Speaker 6: don't do it, you feel that you've betrayed yourself. So
• 42:05
  Speaker 6: when you feel it, you know what the aftermath is
• 42:07
  Speaker 6: going to be. I'm gonna be home going.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: Why didn't I say that? I should have Just say
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: the thing, Just say the thing, Just.
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: Do the thing, because the thing is the people that
• 42:16
  Speaker 6: are supposed to be in your life, they realize you're
• 42:19
  Speaker 6: one of their people because you say.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: And do the thing.
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: If you don't ever say and do the thing, you
• 42:24
  Speaker 6: will never meet the people that are supposed to walk
• 42:26
  Speaker 6: this road with you. And as this world changes negatively,
• 42:31
  Speaker 6: we're gonna need people on the road with us, and
• 42:33
  Speaker 6: you want fellow badasses with you. So do the thing,
• 42:36
  Speaker 6: say the thing.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Say the thing, Say the thing.
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: Jen, what's your advice, Elva, I'm gonna go really cliche
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: here and say to follow your heart. I think with
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: every decision that I've made in my life so far,
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: I've done it with full.
• 42:50
  Speaker 5: HUTSBA and.
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: I impressive, Yeah, but I've just like every decision I've made,
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: I've I've known it to my core that it's been
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: something Every decision has been something that I want to
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: do fully, and no matter how crazy that decision has been,
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: like not going to PA school and putting it on holding,
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: going to do the Batchel, I just knew that it
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: was right for me. And I will say, like, if
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: something is scary to you but feels right to you,
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: just do it, because if your heart is in it,
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: then it's meant for you.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: I heard you're going back to school, which is crambling, Jackie,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: give it to me.
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: I think mine is just full circle and it's just
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: advocate for yourself and that you're the CEO and no
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: one is gonna work as hard for you as you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: gonna work for you. And also piggybacking on I vets
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: a little. I think it's really easy, like if you
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: want to start something to be like, oh, so many
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: people are like doing that. So yeah, everyone's doing everything,
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: everyone's doing everything, not you, so right exactly, and so
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: I think it that's sort of my separating the bad
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: Assy is just do again, do the thing, advocate for yourself,
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: and like you run your business. I run this very much,
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: run this business, and I think you know, I have
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: a hand in every single thing I do. Like if
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: I get styled for something, it's like, you know, I
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: think that goes for all of us. There's I'm not
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: just sitting there while other people are making decisions for me.
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: I am very active in my own bad Assy, you really.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Have a leg up because you're younger hardly.
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: But thank you.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Look at her.
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: So what's it like to be young?
• 44:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: God, I am Well, I'm.
• 44:42
  Speaker 6: Nineteen and I just have my moments.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: Funk I am. I feel good, I feel young.
• 44:48
  Speaker 5: I don't need glasses when I look at my phone.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, stop, yeah I do.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: I do need glasses look at my.
• 44:55
  Speaker 6: Don't swear.
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: I just know.
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: I just got classes.
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, I've been driving blind the past two years. I
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: finally got class.
• 45:02
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry. I'm a sake.
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: You guys need to celebrate.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I have loved this discussion so much. You have no
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: idea this diverse group of women, we all come from
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: different places, different lives. That you are, each and every
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: one of you an inspiration to being a badass. And
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: I hope you all feel that. Thank you, thank you,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: thank you. All right, let's let's.
• 45:24
  Speaker 6: Give it up for our bad ass handle.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Thank you, ladies, and that Jennie and Jen