Latest / Dear Chelsea / Living in Separate Houses with Hannah Berner

Transcript

Living in Separate Houses with Hannah Berner · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Oh hello, Chelsea.
• 0:02
  Speaker 3: Say you're at the end of November, which means it's
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: almost December.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Has this your gone so fast for you?
• 0:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: When I'm touring, things go by pretty quickly.
• 0:11
  Speaker 5: I'm sure. Do you just like blinking you are home
• 0:13
  Speaker 5: again after months?
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: I mean it's just been so crazy. Vanessa, the woman
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: who opens for me, I mean, I say woman, but
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: she's more of a baby.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I consider her to be my baby.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, she's she says she's thirty eight, but whatever,
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I don't believe it. That means I had her when
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: I was twelve. No, thirty eight, I had her when
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I was ten. It must have been rough.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Anyway.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: She's become ridiculous on tour and her behavior is astonishing.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: So I mean, I just don't even.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Do you have Do you have receipts? Do you have examples?
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of video footage of her shoplifting
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: and out of the green room.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: She takes stuff from the green room. She goes grocery shopping.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: I mean it's not really shoplifting, but it's just helping herself.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: She goes through the green room and literally does her
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: grocery shopping through the green room, Like she's like, oh,
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: here's an orange and apple.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: There's like a brick of cheddar and.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Then she just puts it in her purse and then
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: like I'll be like, hey, do you have an edible?
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: And she's like takes out an orange, an apple, a banana,
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: she had like bags and nuts. I'm like, are you
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: are you treating this like a United flight? Like ridiculous?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: And I mean we have had a really ridiculous time.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: And she's very hard not to like cuddle and tickle,
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: you know that, because she's just so adorable. But I
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: have to keep my hands off of her because she's
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: she's going to claim allegations against workplace.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Workplace.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know. I'm not good at that stuff.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just too affectionate.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: So our guest today does stand up, but she didn't
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: always do stand up, and she talked about like the
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: first time she did stand up, she was like, oh wait,
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: this is totally for me. Did you feel that way
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: when you started or no?
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: So I was just like, oh my god, this is
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: gonna give me so much diarrhea, Like it was so
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: nerve wrecking and just I just couldn't. Yeah, stand up
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: is scary Yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful I'm at
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: a place where I feel so in control of what
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: I'm doing and I know how to handle myself. But
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: stand up in the begin is very scary when people
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: like people are a dick. There are stand ups who
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: are addicted to being on stage and that can not
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: get off stage, and then there are stand ups who
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: are just like, you know, I'm not like that.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not like I have to.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Be on stage for two hours or I have to
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: go do five sets when I have a week off.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I feel nothing like that. Yeah, but when I am
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: on stage.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I love it and I love, you know, telling a
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: story from beginning to end, which is basically what my
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: stand up is storytelling. Yeah, I mean I loved it,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: but I was it was so scary that the scary
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: kind of was commensurate to the joy.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: I feel like, especially for people who are starting out,
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: like you go into a room where stand up is
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: being performed, and like it's almost like the audience is
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: like daring you to fail, you know, in small rooms
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: or with starting comedians.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I feel like it must be so difficult to start
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: it is, But a good thing for everyone to remember
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: is if you're if you're doing that. And this applies
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: to anything, like when you have a fucking great attitude
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: and you get on stage and you're beaming, it is
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: infectious to the audience. So if you have a great
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: attitude and you're feeling positive and you're happy, you're gonna
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: do great. Everything's gonna go great, because even if you
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: tell a joke that bombs, your disposition will be so
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: fun and happy that it doesn't matter, you know what
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I mean. You can laugh with the audience about not
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: getting laughs.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Chelsea. Should we get to our guest.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: You can find our guest today on her podcast, Burner
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Phone and Giggly Squad. Tickets for her comedy tour are
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: available at Hannahburner dot com. Please welcome comedian, podcast host
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: and digital creator Hannah Burner. Okay, Hannah, we both have
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: the same publicists, so we have like three publicists that
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: are on there.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: Don't say anything, so we're not allowed to say anything today.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: And I told them, like, I mean, they must just
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: be listening to this to just you know, not have
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: to do anything for the.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Hour, because well they do, they do.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I love this is my first of all my pr
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: team and your PR team are the best PR teams.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: No, they're for the girls.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I have never been.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: I've been through so many publicists in this town, and
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: you know, I do have a difficult personality, but this
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: is the best publicity team I've ever worked.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: You're a self aware of queen.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: They said good things about you because I wanted the tea.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: I was like, Chelsea, is she a monster? They were like,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: we're obsessed with her. Yeah.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: No, I'm a good girl.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she's good.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I take care of my people, and my people
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: take care of me.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: So I also have to tell you we've met before.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, no, all the time.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: No, but it's not an embarrassing thing, like you missed
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: me right after college years ago.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: How old are you.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: I'm thirty two, So ten years ago. So I was
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: on the tennis teams. Yeah, they didn't let you take
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: too many classes. So after college I was teaching tennis
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: that summer in Shelter Island.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god, I took a tennis class with you.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: We played doubles together, babe, Andre, So he wasn't there,
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: your ex boy toy. I was getting paid by my
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: sugar grandpa to play doubles with these older men.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Sugar Grandpa to Sugar Grandpa. Does that mean you were
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: dating him?
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: No? But he was giving me too much money to
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: play tennis, like for a young twenty two year old.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: It was like two hundred dollars for an hour. Oh
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: that was like lawyer money. No, I know, because they
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: didn't pay. But anyway, so I had to play doubles
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: with these old men and he goes, oh, Chelsea's coming today.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: And I didn't know who you who Chelsea was, and
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: you show up and I'm like, oh, as a Chelsea
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Lately fan, I was like, this is an awesome morning
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: that I didn't anticipate. And you turn to me and
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: you go, let's fucking beat these boys. And I got
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: so nervous. I like double faulted and you were like, no,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: it's okay. And then we just demolished them. And then
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: I never saw you again, and I was like, Chelsea
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: night kicked ass. So that was.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So good. Right now, I.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Know tennis is like cool now. It wasn't cool when
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: I was a kid.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: No, tennis is cool now, you know.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Well, pickleball is trying to be cool, but I wish
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: pick a ball would just shut the fuck up for
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: two seconds.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: A cult.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Everyone wants to talk about pickleball all the time. It
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: is it's cult, Like.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: It's cult that you stop talking to your family. You
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: only talk, you only dress in pick a ball outfits.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: And any talk of sports right now, guys, you have
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: to know that I had knee surgery and any talk
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: of sports is like it hurts my knee because I'm
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: so excited. No, I got my fixed so that I
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: can ski this week, this week, this winter. I'm an
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: avid skier. So I got my knee scoped out, and
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: then I went home and I was all hopped up
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: on medication and anesthesiology, and I was feeling great. But
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: then you wake up and you're like, fuck, I can't
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: take all this medicaid. You feel like your body is
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: so polluted. Yeah, you just bloated, like from all of
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: the fluids they put you. I'm like, cool it with
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: the fluid, IV Like, I don't need that much fluid.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: No, you're like an Olympic athlete that needs to be
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: ready for her I know, gold season.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: So I had to limp in here like limp biscuits
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: and to meet with you.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: But I'm happy that you're here in person, in New
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: York City.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Oh, thank you, This is like such an honor. But
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: I also my husband who.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Brought I can't believe you're married.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I know it's very off.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah it is.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: He's an older Like.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Don't strike me as someone who would be married when
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I watch your videos online, which are very funny. By
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: the way, thank you're really funny. I like your attitude
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: and your.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: I think you paved the way for me. But yeah,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: getting married was not a plan. It happened during the pandemic.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: I'm at an older man. He's very tired, forty seven. Oh,
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: and he likes to golf, he likes to ski, he
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: likes to chill.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: How did you meet him during the pandemic when you're
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: supposed to stay six feet apart from people?
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: He dm me because I was in Shelter Island and
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: he was in like West Hampton, and he was like,
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: do you want to get coffee?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: How did he know you?
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: Through the comedy world? But he lived in Ireland. He
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: actually small world. He's friends with Ursula Carlson and they
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: were working on a script one.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know last so she's hilarious.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Oh she's from New Zealand, right.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: She's anyone from New Zealand makes me laugh, but she's
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: ridiculous next level. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait till the
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: States discovers.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I know we tried to do a show with her.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I think I don't.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: Remember what he was on the show with. He was
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: like the co writer.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Oh that's funny. Wow.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Probably so you dated my husband before? Oh okay, so yeah.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: We we got engaged in like six months and it
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: was kind of like, I decenter men from my life.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: You want decenter men, decenterment because in like.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: You don't make any decisions based on men, right, I.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: See, Well, I like that phrasing. I've never heard that before.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Decenter men.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: I think the gen Z girlies are saying it, but
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: I think you really live by that, Like you do.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: What makes you happy brings you joy and if people
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: come great and if they don't, who gives a fuck.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: But you're not gonna force or change things.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Or act or be The word desperate is very uh
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: you know when people I find things to be very
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: desperate sometimes when people talk when people are searching so
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: hard to find someone.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a desperation to it.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: And it's like, if you really were happy with yourself
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: and you can get to a place where you are really,
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: really happy. It's totally fine to want to meet somebody,
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: but to have that be like your main objective feels
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: like you're missing a piece of the pot.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: Like you betray who you are to make someone like
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: you're you know, when you have a full plan of
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: like how to run into somebody, like I have a
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: full chart. Yeah, I'm like, Okay, he's gonna, you know,
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: have to go to the bathroom at this time, and
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna run into him. And sometimes you do get
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: the guy, and then you're like, fuck, like this isn't me.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: I forced this, and I don't like koam with him?
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Well all so well, that of course, but that's you know, Listen,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: in our twenties, we act like idiots because that's what
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: we're supposed to be doing, and you can obsess and
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: crave and I mean even sometimes in your thirties. Yeah,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: and a lot of my thirties. It wasn't until my
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: forties that I had enough self confidence. And I'm like, wait,
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I don't care if you like me first, that's not
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: enough for me to like you back.
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: I know, the second you hear someone liked you, I'm like,
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: he's like cool, Like you could be a gremlin, and
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: I'm like, funny.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: I have an experiment that I've been trying out with
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: myself for a while now where I don't even if
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: it's non sexual, you know, like just a person or
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: another celebrity or a regular person. Just because they dislike
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: me doesn't mean I don't like them.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. That's fucking I'm like, wow,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: your opinion.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Of me has nothing to do with me anyway, So
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I could still like you if you don't like me.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: It's like a troll comments and you go, I love
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: your sweater. I love your sweater and your profile picture.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: You're gorgeous, You're stunning. But sometimes it also doesn't have
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: to do with you. They're projecting their shit. So anyway,
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: this guy came along and he was out of time
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: in my life. I was very focused on myself, and
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is nice. It's nice to have
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: a husband in a way, like obviously all not all
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: husbands are the same, different ratings per husband, but I
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: don't have to stress about dating. It's kind of like, okay, check,
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: I have this like partner in crime, and now I
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: could focus on myself and he's very like, I'm very
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: I'm on the road all the time, Like I've never
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: seen him.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: That's right, you're on Twitter.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: I've seen him forever.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Do you like being on the road.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: I like being on the road because my apartment's a mess.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: So i walk into a hotel room and I'm like
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: a monster. I'm like, why did no one clean these tablets? Yeah,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, I love living that simple life. I
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: also like saying I'm on the road and people leave
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: me alone.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: It's the right way to get out of shit.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: I'm just napping, Like I'm napping from two to five
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: and then I go on stage.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I wish I could nap. I can't nap.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: It's a gift, it is. I don't know why I
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: don't have that gene. But if I take a nap.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: First of all, if I took a three hour nap,
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I would be dead when I woke up. I get
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: up early and I need and I even when I'm tired,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: I just cannot sleep during the day.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what is going on.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: Well, I was telling our PR team, I was like,
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: don't put me on anything before like ten am, because
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: I'm a big sleeper. I also, I think I deal
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: with some depression where like, I mean, I could fall
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: asleep anywhere, and so it's almost nice for me to rest.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: But then, yeah, I don't know what state I am in.
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: I don't know where I am, but the adrenaline hits
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: me when I get on stage. Yeah, but I enjoy
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: the road. But I'm also lucky now that I'm like
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: I'm doing theaters now where women. I mean, we could
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: talk forever about this, but like, being a woman on
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: the road is difficult. It's difficult being alone, especially if
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: you like can't afford ubers or you're just you put
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: in a lot of awkward situations that aren't ideal.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Can you not afford ubers?
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: No? I can.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's the definitely.
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: But I'm saying back in the day, like girls starting
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: in comedy.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: It's unsafe. It is unsafe. It is unsafe. I never drew.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: I bet we didn't even have ubers when I started.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: I just drove myself everywhere.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: So I'm from New York City, so I don't even
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: have a license. I couldn't have made it in comedy
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: ten years ago because I don't have a like I
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: would have like walked on the highway to my gigs.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well can't you take the train or the subway?
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, yeah, that's difficult.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: A lot of admin planning.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Oh listen, all I do is admin all day long.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: That's what I do. In my hotel that I stay
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: in New York.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: They have a club lounge and I always tell my
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: assistant from five to seven, which is happy hour, I'm like,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I have to go upstairs into admin.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: No, the amount of planes and hotels and you mess
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: up one thing, it's your name on the bill.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: So it's a miracle. We made it here today.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: It is a miracle, thank God, especially with her small miracles.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Once. Yeah, my JANKI need that. I'm rapping right now.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: It looks like I'm masturbating under the table, but I'm
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: just soothing myself.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I'm self soothing.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: But I want to stay with this. I love that
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: with this older man. He loves skiing and I'm an athlete.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: But I never skied before.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: You never skied.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: I never. I wasn't allowed to gouse a tennis.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: My parents would be like, God forbid you get injured.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: You can't whatever it is.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I'm Renee Stubs you mentioned when they came in. Okay,
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: let's talk about Renee Stubs because she's a friend of mine.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Is she a friend of your? She makes her way
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: around Manhattan in a way I've never seen. I have
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: had more people come out to me going, I know
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: you're friends with dinner Rene Stubs. I'm like, what is
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Renee Stubs walking around with a fucking sign that says
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I'm friends with Chelsea?
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: Remember, Renee Stubbs is part of I call it the
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: power lesbian community of Nity. Yes, and I'm trying to
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: rub shoulders with that. I think the lesbians, I think
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: they push the door down for the straits because they
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: don't give a fuck what most what men think, right,
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: and they just do it. So I was talking to
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: her on her tennis show. She's like, all comedian, I know,
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: Chelsea Handler and I was like, oh yeah, I've heard
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: of her as a comic and I messaged it this morning.
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: I was like any advice, and she's like, you know,
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: in her Australian accent over text, just be yourself, you know,
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: treat her like your sister. And I was like, okay,
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: I don't know what that means thank you.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I'm seeing that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: I'm seeing Renee that big lesbian tomorrow night for dinner.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: There's drama in the lesbian world time.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Oh no, no, there's listen. The lesbians are taking me.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: They are trying to capture me in TikTok?
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Are you on it now?
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: What's going on? Lesbian TikTok?
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: Sorts of drama?
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I can't go online right now, it's too upsetting. I
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: can't look at social media right now.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: I know I'm pretending the lesbian dramas like your world episthetic.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: That's the only thing that's going on, right. You have
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: to distract yourself.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: So you how long into dating your husband did you
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: realize that you were going to marry him?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: You were like, I'm in love with you.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: Good question.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Do you think he would have married him had it
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: not been for COVID?
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: Great question? All valid questions, Yeah questions. He should be
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: asking the questions. And now I'm regretting not thinking about No.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: I my parents got engaged in four months, so I
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: had this like fake love story in my head that
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: like that's how it's going to be, Like if I
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: was with a guy for a year. I'm like, this
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: isn't magical. He's not the one, right, So during honestly
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: early on he kind of was like, yeah, I want
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: to marry you. I think he was and a first
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: time my classic. He's a comedian, so I was like, oh,
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: it's probably a comedian.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Narcissist and I'd be irish.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: Or he grew up in Queens and then he lived
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: in Ireland since he was fourteen. Okay, so he became
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: a big comedian in Ireland. Oh but now he's back
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: because of COVID. And it was kind of this, like,
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: we'll see I've never dated an older guy, could be
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: like a creepy uncle, Like you never know.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Uncle Gary. That's every creepy uncle is Gary.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you change it to Gary even if it's not.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Gary's not a hot name. I named a dog Gary
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: and I had to return him.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: So yeah, we hit it off and I got engaged
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: in six months, but it was COVID time, so I
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: say it's dog years e time seven. And to be
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: perfectly blunt, you know, he was at a time in
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: his life where like he wasn't touring anymore, but now
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: like he just enables me. He literally said, like, I
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: want to chill. I don't care about the fame or
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: the money, like I'm tired. I just you can go work.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: And I was like that's a dream. Well yeah, like yeah,
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: it's better than sex. Tell me that every night.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: And do you guys have a lot of sex?
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: We do? That's good because I think we're not we're
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: not roommates. We don't see each other that all.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I think that's the key ingredient for all relationships is
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: you can't see each other.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I have to.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I just had to inject myself in my thigh this
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: morning with something that is going to help with my
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: sex drive because I have no desire to fuck anyone.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: And I've been keeping going.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I keep going on these kind of quasi dates or
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: like going out with guys trying to drum up some
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: business and then I'm like looking at them, going I
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: just want to be in my bed, like I don't
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: even want to fuck you, and.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like something's wrong with me.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: And I can't take testosterone because my hair thinned the
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: last time I took that. And it's not like I'm
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: gonna be bald and horny, you know what I mean, Like,
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: what's the point of that, I can go about ladder.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: So I was like, forget me.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: So I went to my yeah and get back me.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: So I went to my anti aging doctor and I
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: was like, listen, you got to give me something for
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: sex drive because I don't think I have it. I'm like,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: I've tried to have sex like three times.
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: Because you were really horny when you were younger.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Well, no, not horny, but like I could get excited.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: I've never been boy crazy. That's not my personality. But
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I do love that about you. But also it's like, wait,
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: why do we have so much pressure? Like you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: if I go a few months without having sex, I'm like,
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: oh shit, I better have sex. And it's like why
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: why do I need to have sex? But apparently I
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: think I do. So anyway, I injected myself this morning
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: with some thiga emocin or I don't know what the
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: fuck it's called, and we'll see if that drums up
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: any sexual feelings for me, because.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Well, people don't talk about how sex is oftentimes a
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: bad experience, especial when it's like a new guy or something.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: It's weird, and I'm like, I my night would have
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: been better without it. I think it's for us. And
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: I always said I didn't want to be with a
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: comic because I've moved with a comic before and it
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: wasn't great. But with him, I was. We really like
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: he I respect him mentally, which is crazy to think,
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: but like it's like you need to find someone that
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: their love language is laughter with you and you feel
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: excited about like riffing with them, and that's like your foreplay.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: That's the hotness. Like we talk on the phone a lot,
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: that's like our thing. Yeah, it's not like, oh I
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: need a fuck you now, it's like right talking, we
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: just talk. We don't we don't shut up.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And does he work now at all?
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: He's working. He's still doing comedy and stuff. We have
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: podcasts together burner phone.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Oh that's together with you.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so he's good. But I just I just want
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: him to like be confident enough to like let me
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: do my thing and support me. And he's he is.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: That's important because a lot of men come across as
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: like they are confident or they see are seemingly confident,
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: and then when it comes down to it, they're fucking paranoid.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: They're jealous. They're not confident.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you're like, I just want to love you,
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: and they're acting weird towards you, and then you realize
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: you have to baby them and be like, I'm so
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: proud of you.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: The distance is very important for any independent woman because
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: it is so annoying to have to spend every single
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: second with somebody. And I also don't appreciate having to
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: FaceTime with people on ohime when you're in a relationship,
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: because holding up the fucking phone while you're talking, it's like,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: wait a second, this is like two exercise you're going to.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: I could talk to you, but I need the lights
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: off and I want to be in bedlining down, you know,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: with my AirPods in or whatever.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I don't need to be looking at you.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: Also, I'm staring at myself the whole time.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: I want to be able to scroll Instagram while.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Talking, exactly Exactly.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I had a friend once, not a boyfriend, this is
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: a friend friend, And anytime I would be on the phone,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: reading an email or on social media or anything while
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: I was on the phone, he could be talking and
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: he'd go, what are you reading?
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: And on my business?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Why do you know that I'm reading something? Like, how
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: can you tell? He's like, I can tell by the
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: way you're breathing.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Like your eyes are going left right, Like, well, that
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: would be.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Really annoying if we were fucking face timing, because then
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: you fucking know for sure?
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: Do you want to know something wild? He had an
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: apartment and the person, older woman passed away next door,
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: and I bought the apartment next door, so I have
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: my own apartment next to his.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Oh god, that's solid.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Where do you guys live in Brooklyn?
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: We live in the Lower east Side.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm thinking about moving to New York. I'm going
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: to look at a bunch of apartments tomorrow.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: And you're such a New Yorker.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I know it's.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Articulous that I've never lived here. I'm like almost I'm
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: forty eight years old, so I've never lived.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: In your city.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: Jewish, I know, with open arms, I know, I know,
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: I know. Well, you'd have to accept me because I'm
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: But sorry, I mean to call you out.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: It's a tri state area, yes, yes, the Tri state area.
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: As long as you're not from like upstate, you know.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm not from upstate. Okay, what else
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: do you want to tell me about yourself?
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: Oh? But I did want to talk about skiing with you, okay,
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: because that's our biggest issue. That's big.
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I like your little furry arms.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: You're cute, very sweaty. Right now, I'm sorry.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Look how much I like your harry.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: I'm half Italian.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I can see it. It's cute.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: Are we flirting? No? Okay, so I think that I
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: want to like skiing.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: But what did you say? You had a ski accident?
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: I had a ski accident because I really wanted to
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: be good at skiing, and it's it's a weird thing
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: because I'm competitive, but like, you just get to the
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: bond of the mountain. So I'm like bored and scared
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: and then I cry all the time. Why well, I'm
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: like new to it, so I'm like in a buchry,
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: I will always find find a bush. I'm crying, but
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: then I'll be like, oh no, it's really cold, I'm
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: not crying, which I think is like I want to
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: know why you love skiing because I I want to
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: get the bug because all he wants to do is ski,
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: but I can't. We can't change ourselves. For men. Why
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: do you love it?
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Because it's freeing, Like I love well, you are topless too.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: I do it, yeah, but not all the time. I
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: even love it when I'm wearing clothes. I love it
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: even more when I'm fucking naked, because there's just something
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: so freeing about skiing down.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: I'm not taking it's so good.
• 20:44
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: They're the best, my best feature. I can't believe I've did.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: I just I'm like, oh my god. Anytime anyone sees
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: them for the first time, they're like, oh my god,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: are those real. I'm like, yeah, they're real.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: Bounce up, and then they're like athletic tits too, like
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: I can do stuff with them.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not against plastic surgery because I'll do that, but
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't get fake boobs, you know what I mean.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: If anything, I would prefer smaller boobs because I've had
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: my whole life, so I'm used to them, so they're
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: not that fun for me anymore. Yeah, but it feels
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: That's the other reason why I want to up my
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: sex drive, because it feels shmeful to waste this body.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: My body is so smoking that it's like I feels
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: like I need to share it.
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: You know, do you feel like the best part of
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: sex is like the foreplay before of like the teasing
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: like will we will we not? Then once you do it,
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: you're always just like okay.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's always good when you do it. Yeah,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: But back to skiing, always a freedom. There's a freedom
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: in skiing down a mountain and being just like and
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: just ripping down a mountain, like.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I love the sense of like strength, the strength of
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: like the sense of freedom. I love being outside in
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: that cold weather, Like it's very invigorating to me, that feeling.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: It's not for everybody because a lot of people don't
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: like the cold.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: You definitely get out of your own head when you're
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: there because you have to be in the moment to focus.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: What do you think about the douchey snowboarders though, like
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: they're like.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, sleigh boarders aren't my favorite.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: The only time I've ever been hit was a has
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: been by a snowboarder, right, I almost no boarded into
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: me several times at my friends.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: The only boards I want is a Charcuteri board, Like
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: that's all I want.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: I don't even like charcouterie anymore. I've decided I'm over sharkcuterie.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: I take, yeah, hot take is right, I'm Charcuterie feels
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: passe to me.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Well, I've never finished one, and then I always feel
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: guilty because I had, Like.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: I'm back on the cheese, cheese and harmone because harmone
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: is what they have in Spain, and I spend a
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: lot of time in Spain, and I fucking love hormone.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: But that's the only kind of like meat dish I
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: want at that. I'm over charcuterie.
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: I do like the food associated with skiing, though, because
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: hot chocolate you could drink at any time, and no
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: one does.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I drink margarita's.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: I go in for eleven o'clock margarita break at eleven am,
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I go in for my first margarita. Then I go
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: back at one, and that actually gives me a more
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: sense of like. I even am more fearless once I
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: have a little alcohol in my system, you know, for skiing.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Because my ski buddies in Canada where I ski, are hardcore.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: They are not fucking around.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: They're doing black So that's why I have to get
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: knee surgery to get so I can ski and keep
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: up with my friends.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: I love how your ski season like everything revolves on.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Your ski oh everything everything having.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: A like you have a legit hobby, and I feel
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: like so many people don't have hobbies and it's so
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: beautiful that you love anything as much as you love skiing.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: I was dating the Sky a few years ago, right
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: before I went away to Whistler for like three months. Yes,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: I go, now I'm going to Whistler and he's like, okay,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: so how long are you to be there? And I
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: was like three months and he was like, am I
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: going to visit you there?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: And I was like, do you ski?
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Can you keep up?
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: And he's like, well, I mean I haven't skied. I
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: was like, no, then you're not visiting me, Like it's over.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: I'm not babysitting you on This relationship is over. Now
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: we're not doing pizza skis together. That's not hot. It
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: gives you the egg A guy doing pizza skiing.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: No, So I just don't even like that's how committed
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: to skiing I am that even if I'm in the
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: throes of a romance, I'll will prefer to go and
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: leave that person to go skiing.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: I love that, but I was actually Whistler when.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I got injured, but what was your injury?
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: So I was on a green and it was called
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: like easy out.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Or I know exactly what you're talking about, Yeah, easy out.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: And it was like early in the morning, so it
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: was very choppy, and I was a little cocky, like
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: does my husband would make me do three hour lessons,
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: get lunch, then show him what I learned. Like it
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: was very very intense, but I want to be like loved.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: And my dad was my tennis coach, so it's like
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: some deep the everything, and I'm just like, I will
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: be great for this man. So I'm showing off. I'm
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: like I'm getting my you know, rhythm, and I hid
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: an edge and I fell onto my hand, like my
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: whole body fell on my hand, and then like my
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: hand kind of got crushed and I had to call
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: the the was it called Sheboygan.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: With the Sheboygan a place in Wisconsin, part of board.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: The Toboggan.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: It's the Pagan Tobogganaboygan.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: So New York. I have no idea anything outside New York.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: The Toboggan came so dramatic because it's just.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: My pinky And so when you broke your pinky.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: I basically crushed like all my knuckles. It was bad,
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: and I'm getting frostbite because it's like our a and
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: I'm just lying there and there's a video of me
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: going down the sheboygan and it was so dramasaically.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: And how did your boyfriend react to that? He's sympathetic
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: to your injury.
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: He was, but he thinks that I manifested it, which
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: I think I did because I didn't really want to
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: go skiing that day. You know, when you're just like
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: what if I just you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, chucked
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: myself down the mount because I was tired. I was
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: doing like tons of shows and I was like, I
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: don't want to go skiing this morning, and he's really good.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Have you been skiing since then?
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: So I have some shows coming up in like Denver
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: and Aspen and we're seeing he bought me the like pass,
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: so he's trying to get me back by compass. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: so he's pressuring me.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a boyfriend once who didn't care. I
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: had a torn ACL from skiing. Again, this is years ago.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: All I do is hurt myself. So I had a
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: torn acl years ago in Switzerland and Zermatt. I was
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: also on ecstasy when I went to that accident, so
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I just want to be very honest about that, and
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: they manafact me. I'm too a helicopter off the mountain.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: My friends were all like, you're a fucking loser. And
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: then I went to Rome and like Florence and some parts.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: Of Italy, on the half of your leg is like
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: hanging out, and.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: I'm just well, basically, I was like, iowa win to
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: get the surgery because I was already on vacation, and
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'll just tape it every day
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: or wrap it, wrap it, and but my boyfriend just
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: had no regard for my health, like at all. Like
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: I'd get home every night, my knee would be like
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: the size of a water balloon and I'd have to
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: elevate it ice it for like three hours and he
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: was just like, all right, tomorrow we're going to the coliseum.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck off. And so that so it's very
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: important when people care about your well being.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: You learned about it well.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: I ly right hand, but I also look, so what
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: does that mean? So like, oh, because you're right it
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: so I.
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: Couldn't jerk my husband. You know when you put your
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: in a ponytail. Yes, you knew how important that was.
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I couldn't do it, and he was trying to do it,
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, that's the ugly ponytail, babe. And then
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: I couldn't text fast because I couldn't use my hand.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: So that was a nightmare. Oh so do voice messages?
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: All my friends were annoyed at me.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never ever once recorded a voice message, but
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: I receive them. You know, they disappeared too, they vanish, sketchy.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Why is that it's so unnecessary?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: It's like, what do you think I'm gonna do for
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: your message to someone else? Meanwhile, that's how I found
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: out advantaged because I was trying to.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Do that very thing.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Okay, we have to take a break and we'll be
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: right back, Catherine. We're taking a break.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Amazing, and we're back. We're back.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: It's so fast, Okay, Catherine, what do we what's going
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: on today?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Catherine? We've barely heard a peep out of here.
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: So we've got a bunch of very fun questions for Hannah.
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: But I think let's start with a little wedding question,
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: a little a marriage question.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: It's like your wheel hill.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: Bianca says, Dear Chelsea, my best friend of thirteen years
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: is getting married. She's my sister and my lifelong soulmate.
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: I'm her maid of honor and will of course have
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: to give a speech at the wedding.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: The speech will most likely.
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: Be during the ceremony, and I believe the best man
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: will go the funny route, so I want to keep
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: it classy, sentimental and sweet. However, I don't see the
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: spark with her fiance, and I'm feeling he's so uninspired.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: In writing this speech.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Break up the wedding.
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: She loves him dearly and they're building a life together,
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: and I trust her decision and choosing him as a
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: partner for her life. But sometimes I'm like, really, this guy,
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: nothing is wrong with him necessarily other than having the
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: personality of a rock.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: How do I find inspiration?
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: Sincerely, Bianca, I think that's your speech right there.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Well, I would focus your speech on your friend and
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: just make it about all of the incredible things you
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: can say about her and how lucky he is to
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: be marrying her, and you don't have to vouch for
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: him necessarily or talk about their connection obviously at the end,
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: you want to say, like, I'm so glad that you
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: found someone who appreciates all these things, you know, to
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: really drive it home, but you not getting the spark
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: between them is really not important information for your speech. Yeah,
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: you have to be a good friend right now, and
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: she loves him and she's getting married and he's not
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: an asshole or abusive or anything like that that you've mentioned,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: So there's no reason to take a stand other than
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: just try to make a great speech about what an
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: incredible person she is and list just some of your
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: favorite memories of her.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: That's good. I mean you don't have to put together
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: like a whole thesis statement essay. I like, I love
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: a quick speech. I'll have a three four minute solid
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: to the point. And also I don't know her personality,
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: but like you can be funny too, girl. Yeah, we
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: did speeches and my husband was like killing in his speech,
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: like last per minute.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: You guys were making speeches. That's funny.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: I think it's an Irish tradition.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Oh that's funny. Well, good for him, since he's not
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: fucking Irish. I mean it's Irish tradition, I guess because.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: He's lived there the last like thirty years. So he's like,
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: this is what we do. And I was like, okay,
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: now I have to perform my own fucking wedding and
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: he's killing and then I'm realizing I have to follow him,
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: so I'm not listening to his speech. I'm going through
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: my notes in my set, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: So I slowed, like, slow it down after the best
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: man crushes, slow it down, you know, get the audience
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: calm again. Yeah, and I was like sweet, and then
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: I made a joke like I wish I met you earlier,
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: like when you were in your twenty but I would
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: have been in kindergarten. And then we got like a
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: little laplause break and I was like fuck you, I win,
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: and then I danced the night away. So don't be
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: afraid to be funny just because the best man's gonna
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: be funny. Yeah, like you can crush a two.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that too.
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: I've been in this situation before too, where like one
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: of my best girlfriends, like she dated this really fun
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: guy and he was awesome. They traveled, they did all
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: this stuff, and then the guy she wound up marrying
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: was just like this very kind of boring guy playing vanilla,
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: and you know what they are now, like fifteen years later,
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: like so happy, three kids living in the suburbs, and
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: I'm like, who knew.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: She's like thrilled with her life.
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: They're deeply in love even though he's like still very boring,
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: but that's what she wanted.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: So yeah, you know a lot of people want boring man.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: I remember talking to my dad about this exact friend
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, you know this guy, he's just like
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: so vanilla, and my dad goes, you know what, a
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: lot of people love vanilla ice cream. It's not exciting,
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: it's not Rocky Road, but vanilla ice cream.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I still have an Ali scream.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: What kind of wedding did you have?
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: So we honestly, if I'm being open with people, Elope
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: like just alope. We had a beautiful We had a
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: beautiful wedding in West Hampton. It was great. We brought
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: the families together, but it adds up. It gets so expensive.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: And also, as a comedian, like I always make everything
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: about me, so the day was I don't like wedding attention.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: It's like happy birthday attention where you're like, oh, these
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: people are forced to like clap for me because it's
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: my birthday or my wedding day. I like to earn
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: people's affection, so it was very I didn't love that
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: attention on wedding day. But I think for someone who
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: like never makes things about themselves, the wedding day is
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: the most beautiful day.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, really, last thing I would ever want for myself
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: a wedding.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: I was like. And also the whole like your dad
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: giving you away. I'm like, my dad's like.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: My dad's dead, so he's not giving me away.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Shout out to shout out to my dad if you're
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: listening to this podcast.
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: Actually both of does his parents our dead, which is
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: quite nice.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: With that, Let's go to grinder.
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: Tyler lives in the South and he is in a
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: bit of a predicament. I just want to preface too,
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: So this is a bit of a two part question.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: I would love for us to sort of answer the
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: question in the email a little bit, and then he's
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: going to join us and give us a little bit
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: of an update.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: So Tyler says, Dear.
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: Chelsea, I find myself in a rather delicate situation and
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: I would greatly appreciate your insight and guidance The other night,
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: during a sleepless bout at three am, I found myself
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: mindlessly scrolling through Grinder. I have two different accounts, one
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: with my face that I used regularly and another anonymous
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: account for mere curiosity. To my surprise, I received a
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: message from a nearby anonymous profile expressing interest in the
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: late night encounter and including explicit photos. Curiosity got the
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: better of me and I asked this person for a
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: face picture, thinking they wouldn't comply since I don't share
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: face pictures on that account. However, they did send a
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: poo and to my astonishment, it turned out to be
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: my aunt's husband.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Oh. I was taken aback, to say the least.
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: Now, I find myself at a crossroads, unsure of how
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: to proceed. Should I inform my aunt about my discovery.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: Should I confront her husband directly? I understand that staying
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: silent is an option, but it goes against my nature
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: and my personal values.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: My intention is to handle.
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: The situation with care and thoughtfulness, taking into consideration my
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: aunt's feelings are family dynamics and the potential impact on
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: their relationship. I don't know whether they have a specific
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: open arrangement or an understanding within their marriage, and I
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: don't want to make assumptions or create unnecessary discomfort for
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: anyone involved. But I also don't want my aunt to
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: be in a position without informed consent if she's unaware
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: of his actions.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Tyler, Hi, Tyler, Hi, Hi Tyler.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: By the way, this is Hannah Bernard Me yesterday, Hianna.
• 33:58
  Speaker 6: So about a week after I read, my aunt went
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: on a two week vacation to Florida with her husband
• 34:07
  Speaker 6: and boyfriend. Yeah and yeah no, And so I was like, Okay,
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: I'm not going to rude their vacation, Like this is
• 34:16
  Speaker 6: not a time to like blow it up.
• 34:18
  Speaker 8: So I decided to like hold off. Well, what do
• 34:20
  Speaker 8: you know.
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: When they're in Florida, my aunt finds out on her
• 34:25
  Speaker 6: own about this. She found grinder on his phone, and
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: so my sister messages me and she's like, our aunt
• 34:33
  Speaker 6: found out about this. They're going to get a divorce,
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: and she wants you to block his number. I'm like me,
• 34:39
  Speaker 6: like what, okay, So of course I just played. I'm
• 34:44
  Speaker 6: like I was like, okay, well, I guess this is
• 34:46
  Speaker 6: kind of off of my chest now without me having
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: to do or say anything or implicate myself but now
• 34:53
  Speaker 6: there's no separation. I think they've kind of swept it
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: under the rug, and I feel still a little yucky
• 35:00
  Speaker 6: about it. And so I think my question now is, well,
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: do I share with her what I know? I mean,
• 35:06
  Speaker 6: I receive pictures.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you do. I think you do. That's
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: your aunt and your loyalty should be to your family.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: And she should know because now they're not getting divorced.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: Now they're staying together while he's grinding on other men
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: and like trying to hook up. I mean, it's shocking
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: and which if she's fine with it, then fine, but
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: he probably convinced her that it was like a one
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: time thing or blah blah blah, and I think you
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: should tell her the truth.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: Also, Yeah, I feel like it's the kind of thing
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: that after like four drinks at a family function, you're
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: gonna spill anyway, So you might as well do it
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: in like an organized, correct fashion, because I know myself
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: and I would it would be like on the tip
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: of my tongue all the time, and I'd drop it
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: at the worst point, and that would be real drama.
• 35:50
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: So luckily we don't have that sort of family dynamic
• 35:53
  Speaker 6: where we're all been noodling together. But yeah, I just
• 35:57
  Speaker 6: you know, I hesitated because I'm like, well, do I
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: reopen this wound, maybe cashed it out?
• 36:03
  Speaker 8: Does she know the depth of it? And do I
• 36:06
  Speaker 8: get involved?
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's probably.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, listen, I always err on the side of
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: telling people the truth, even if it's inconvenient and it's
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: hard to hear, like, I do it out of respect
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: for people, like I think people deserve to know the
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: full truth. And it actually seems like it's present. This
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: opportunity has presented itself to you in a way that
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: you should You should be telling the truth, you know,
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: like it came up and you can easily say liaseless.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: And I know you guys, I heard from my sister
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: that you guys were separating and then you were getting divorced,
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: or if you had, did you spoken to your aunt
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: directly about it?
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Yet?
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, has she mentioned that the divorce to you
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: or No.
• 36:39
  Speaker 8: She's not mentioned anything to me.
• 36:41
  Speaker 6: The only thing I've heard was from my sister and
• 36:43
  Speaker 6: then that was it.
• 36:45
  Speaker 8: It's almost as if it never happened.
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: Well, And can I also clarify, do any of them
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: know that you got these pictures from him because or
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: was it.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Just like you know and they don't know?
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: You know, they know now though they all listen to
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: Chelsea thank everyone.
• 36:59
  Speaker 8: No they haven't.
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: And I you know what, five years ago, I probably
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: would have been like, oh my god, guess what everyone?
• 37:09
  Speaker 8: I have like learned empathy and learned.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: But if you were her, what would you want?
• 37:17
  Speaker 8: That's a really great question.
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: I feel like I would want someone to tell me,
• 37:22
  Speaker 6: and without knowing what she knows now or how much
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: she knows, I think I would still want it. But
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: it also I feel bad for her. It is an
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: uncomfortable situation, and I don't want to embarrass her. I
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: don't want to make her feel any worse about it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: And yeah, maybe they're having fun threesomes now, like maybe
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: it's enhanced their relationship.
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's what At first I was like, Well,
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: I don't know their situation. Maybe they're open and it's
• 37:51
  Speaker 6: totally cool. But then I'm like, that's not I live
• 37:54
  Speaker 6: in Kentucky. That's not probably what I know.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: Because if she was going to divorce him right away,
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: she obviously convinced that it wasn't a thing, or that
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: he didn't do it, or that it was a one
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: time thing. I think you should tell her. I think
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: you should just say listen, in light of everything that's happened.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: I know you and I haven't spoken directly, but I
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: have to be honest with you because my loyalty is
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: to you. This happened. This happened a couple weeks before
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: you went on your vacation. I wrestled with telling you
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: or not, and then I heard you were getting a divorce,
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: and I figured, okay, that's there's no reason to tell you.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: And I no judgment whatsoever if you know about it
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: and you're okay with it, but I wanted you to
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: know from me, this is what happened.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no judgment. I love you. He probably was like grinder.
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: I thought it was like a core appliance.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: App Yeah, I know.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, any woman can be convinced of anything when
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: they want to be, you know, like powerful.
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: You know, and part of me too, like I get
• 38:44
  Speaker 6: I get the piece where you know, however old he is,
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: having those feelings or being gay or being bisexual is
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: just like out of the norm, I guess, or not
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: right for people of his age, and so I get
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: his perspective of like being trying to be secretive and
• 39:03
  Speaker 6: not share, and that part's wrong.
• 39:06
  Speaker 8: The lying part is wrong.
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: But I wanted to protect almost like the person, you know,
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: prevent outing him and creating a situation where he can't
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: be his authentic self.
• 39:16
  Speaker 8: And that's work he has to do, I know.
• 39:18
  Speaker 6: But I've also been on the side of where someone's
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: outing me or talking bad about me, or calling me names,
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: and so I'm trying to, you know, proceed with caution.
• 39:31
  Speaker 6: I guess, I just don't want anyone to be in
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: a situation, my aunt or him in terms of like
• 39:37
  Speaker 6: his sexuality, if that's what it is, if it was experimenting,
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: I get it. It's a sensitive issue.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: And listen, you're not outing him because she first of all,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: now she already knows something's up. And I respect what
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: you're saying. You don't want to out somebody, but this
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: is a family member. The reason to do it is
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: to be honest with her, you know what I mean.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: You don't want to keep a secret on behalf of
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: this guy when it's your aunt. You know, It's not
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: like you're outing someone into the world and saying, oh,
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: this person's a homosexual.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: You're saying to your aunt, this is what happened. This
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: is what I know.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know that he's a homosexual, but I mean
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: clearly he sent me pictures. This happened. Like, you deserve
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: to know this, and that's it. And if she doesn't,
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: you know, and if she's fine with it, then fine,
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: then great, then they can carry on. But I think
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: the truth is important.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it is hard to be the catalyst though, of drama,
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: like feeling like it's your fault. But like, what if
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: she ends up finding the love of her life after this,
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: and he ends up finding the love of his life
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: and they live more authentic lives and then you're the
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: savior and then you go to heaven.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: And then Hannah. Yeah, and then Hannah comes and makes
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: a speech at your wedding.
• 40:46
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I've been thinking about heaven a lot lately.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: So that's like I changed the rules. Yeah, I agree,
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: I feel like heaven's kind of gay. But anyway, that's
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: another point.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have does seem like it's definitely like there's
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: a lot of gay people there after everything they've after
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: everything they've gone through on Earth.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: I mean, aesthetic is like sparkly and like it looks Yeah.
• 41:16
  Speaker 8: I agree.
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: I think the right thing to do is to share
• 41:21
  Speaker 6: and and say, like you said, no judgment.
• 41:24
  Speaker 8: I just want you to know the whole story and
• 41:29
  Speaker 8: do what you want.
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: I think you know you have to prioritize like her
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: bodily autonomy and being able to make choices for herself.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: Over you know, as Chelsea said, you're not outing him
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: to the world, but over like basically outing him is
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: like no, he is actively seeking hookups in person to
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: your aunt. But also like, I think maybe that conversation
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: is not like showing her what he sent you, but
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: like just maybe verbal and saying like, hey he did
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: send explicit photos, et cetera.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah he us posted.
• 42:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely want to.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: I want to hear about this one after this is all,
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: after the dust settles.
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'll keep you updated. I will be very patient
• 42:11
  Speaker 6: with her because I know it's a lot.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Chelsea, do you think this is like a letter?
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: Do you think this is a phone call? In person?
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: What do you think?
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Where does she live? And can you see her in person?
• 42:22
  Speaker 8: I can? I can see her in person just about
• 42:25
  Speaker 8: any time.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you should do it in person. Not
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: a voice note, not a voice memo. No, definitely not,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: definitely not, or you could just DM her on Instagram.
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: That's intimate, just me.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Both together and just resend the pictures that he sent
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: you on Grinder?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Does this look familiar? Does this dick look familiar?
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: And she's so he didn't know he was sending it
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: to you though, right, he didn't see your picture.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: He only oh, I see.
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: No sloppy, very sloppy, sloppy behavior.
• 42:56
  Speaker 8: Yeah, he has a lot to learn.
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: But how can you hook up with someone on Grinder
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: without seeing their photo of their face?
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: You just send dick pics back and forth and that's it.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: Not me.
• 43:05
  Speaker 8: I have to have a face, like I want to
• 43:06
  Speaker 8: see teeth I see. But other people that.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: You said you don't send your face, right.
• 43:12
  Speaker 6: I don't send my face on that. So I have
• 43:15
  Speaker 6: two grinders. One's just for me being nosy, that's just
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: a blank profile, and.
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: The other I know it like a finta, like a finsta.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but what's the point of a fake grinder?
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: Like for me, it's just like who's around? I don't
• 43:29
  Speaker 6: like actively really message well, just.
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: To know who finds me out. If your aunt's husbands
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: are on it, that's that's a good enough reason.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: I wonder how many ants. I wonder how many of
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: your aunt's husbands are on it one? So for how
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: many ants do you have? Every ant is shaking right now.
• 43:47
  Speaker 8: I will call in another episode and we'll go through
• 43:48
  Speaker 8: my whole family.
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: If you want Kentuck, he's crazy.
• 43:54
  Speaker 8: Oh my god.
• 43:55
  Speaker 6: Grinder by the way, it's like the wild West, So
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: you don't know the half of what happens there.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: No, I don't.
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: I'd a little bit of the sex of Grinder, like
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: a little bit of a stosterone.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. It sounds like I do.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe I can get it from your uncle.
• 44:12
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: It's funny though, because I feel like a lesbian dating
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: app would not just be sending like laby ALIPs, No,
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: that would. It would be like poetry cat photos.
• 44:22
  Speaker 8: Like nesting.
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: I don't know if you've ever heard of the term nesting,
• 44:25
  Speaker 6: but when a bunch of gays get together, it's I mean,
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: it's it's fine and interesting.
• 44:29
  Speaker 8: I'm not going to say I hate it.
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: But I think Chelsea needs like a fake Grinder account
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: so she can explore.
• 44:35
  Speaker 8: I think you should.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: That actually would amuse me. I think I'm not sure.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: I don't really like dick pics, though.
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: Out of context they're aggressive.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: I don't really like to see pictures of penises, you
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like I I would rather just yeah,
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: not to see that.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: She goes, I'd love it minus all the dicks. You're like,
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: that's not gonna.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: Work, It's not gonnas.
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: Well, Tyler, a lot of I know what happens. I
• 45:01
  Speaker 5: know you've got a couple of tough conversations out of you.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I will.
• 45:05
  Speaker 6: I'll keep you posted and I'm sure all will go
• 45:08
  Speaker 6: just as smoothly as we hope.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Tyler, Bye.
• 45:13
  Speaker 8: Tyler, Tyler, thank you bye, good to see you.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Oh I'm stressed.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: That real A lot of layers, A lot of layers.
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: How cute. Well.
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: Our next caller is Cecilia Dear Chelsea. I'm twenty five
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: years old, and I would say I'm a late bloomer
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: in the romantic realm. I've never had a boyfriend. I
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: went to a small high school where none of my
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: friends really dated. Then for college, I majored in theater,
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: so no straight men there. Then COVID hit my senior year.
• 45:45
  Speaker 5: And I also have a life full of loving friends
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: and family, so I think that's This has also caused
• 45:50
  Speaker 5: me to not seek a romantic partner. I moved to
• 45:53
  Speaker 5: a new city two years ago for a fabulous job
• 45:55
  Speaker 5: and haven't quite found a circle of friends that give
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: me the support I need. I started online dating about
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: a year ago, and after maybe half a dozen first dates,
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: I decided it wasn't for me. I have had two
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: other situationships, as the gen z would say, in recent months,
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: and they both happened similarly. Both were guys at work
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: who I had a foundation with of sorts, and they
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: pursued me. We'd go on fun dates and they were
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: obsessed with me, as they should be, and then once
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: I really liked them and tried to define the relationship,
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: they'd get all distant. It's frustrating that both of these
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: guys pursued me and then let things fizzle once I
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: had strong feelings for them. Needless to say, I need
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: to stop dating men in the workplace. But it's also
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: teaching me that being upfront with my feelings scares men away,
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: which feels like the wrong takeaway. My therapist said I
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: should let them initiate how they're feeling, but that feels
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: like a cop out. I feel like I have no
• 46:45
  Speaker 5: skills in dating or handling a breakup, and I feel
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: like I'm so late to the game. I don't even
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: know where to start.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Cecilia, she's twenty five.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Hi, Cecilia, by no, you're only twenty five years old.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: You me mean light to the game. Some people don't
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: even have sex and so they're thirty.
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: Okay, I mean, I guess that's fair.
• 47:08
  Speaker 8: I guess.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 47:09
  Speaker 7: It's something that I feel like I've done other parts
• 47:11
  Speaker 7: of my life that I'm like, Oh, let's delve into
• 47:14
  Speaker 7: finding a partner, especially like in the city I live in.
• 47:17
  Speaker 7: I feel like I don't have a base, so like
• 47:19
  Speaker 7: I feel like having a partner would be nice.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: What city do you live in?
• 47:23
  Speaker 7: Orlando? Oh?
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, m water Parks.
• 47:27
  Speaker 4: I like to say, as an elder, your early twenties
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: is all. It's researching. It's not even dating. Call it researching.
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: You're figuring out what you like, which you don't like,
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: what makes you un comfy, because there's no you're not getting.
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: You're not trying to find a husband. You know, you're
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: just learning about yourself, and you don't really know that
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: much about yourself. In your early twenties either.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: Why do you put so much pressure on yourself to
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: be in a relationship.
• 47:51
  Speaker 7: I guess maybe like a part of me puts pressure
• 47:54
  Speaker 7: on myself, Like when I was writing in I was
• 47:56
  Speaker 7: putting pressure on myself, But like it's not like I'm
• 47:58
  Speaker 7: actively focusing on that all the time. I think just
• 48:00
  Speaker 7: a part of me like puts pressure on myself. But
• 48:02
  Speaker 7: I put pressure on myself career wise in like other
• 48:04
  Speaker 7: parts of my life for sure, But it's not like
• 48:06
  Speaker 7: every day I'm waking up like how do I solve
• 48:08
  Speaker 7: this problem? I'm single, Like I'm It's like not an
• 48:12
  Speaker 7: intense problem. It's just like I don't want to like
• 48:15
  Speaker 7: be dirty and be like, oh I forgot again to
• 48:17
  Speaker 7: ever pursue any one romantically. Like I just feel like
• 48:20
  Speaker 7: I have to make that a part of my life
• 48:23
  Speaker 7: if I ever want that.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: I mean, relationships are hard, and it could seem with
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: social media that like everyone's in a loving relationship, but
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: I think it's like the hardest thing. And you know
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: how when you make a friend it's so easy and quick.
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: That's kind of like what you're looking for in a
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: guy where it's like we're not forcing it. I mess
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: with you. There's not like oh I have to It's
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: not like homework, like I have to study to be
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: good at this. It's kind of like what we're talking
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: about is don't worry about the men. Worry about you,
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: and then you'll be doing something you love, like skiing
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: or something, and they'll find you. But you don't have
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: to force it or research or like try too hard.
• 48:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I've picked up bouldering recently. That's been cool, but like,
• 49:00
  Speaker 7: I don't know. I guess I feel like I should
• 49:02
  Speaker 7: be actively trying at least a little bit.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: But I think an oversight that many of us make
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: is we are a miscalculation is like, don't underestimate the
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: value of your relationship with yourself when you are a
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: whole person and you really invest in getting to know yourself,
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: in being with yourself, in finding out what you do enjoy,
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: Like Okay, bouldering great, you like that, right, All of
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: those things are good, Like it's very natural. Not everybody
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: has boyfriends in their twenties, you know, Like I had
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: two boyfriends in my twenties and in the span in
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: a decade.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not a relationship person.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: I have relationships, and then I have to take long
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: breaks in between those relationships because they fucking wear.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: The shit out of me.
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: And then in those times when I'm single are the
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: best times in my life. So like, honestly, like you
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: have to really build that relationship with yourself and get
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: to know who you are and what because sometimes in
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: our twenties, like there's a lot of us looking around
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: and not sometimes this is like a society. We're always
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: looking at what other people are doing. We're looking at
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: social media, we're looking at other people there in relationships.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: I should do that, I should do that? Why who?
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Like, it's you can make an effort, and you know
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: you can make an effort. You're going to meet people
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: naturally in your life, as you go through your job,
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: as you go through your social stuff and your hobbies,
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: you are naturally going to meet people. If you want
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: to put an effort in beyond that, then absolutely then
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: you do kind of have to do that dating thing
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: or you have to put yourself in situations where you're.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: Going to constantly be meeting new people.
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: And there are other ways to do that without dating sites,
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: and you can join you know, like a bouldering club,
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: or you can join a tennis club, or you can
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: join a pickleball club or whatever the fuck you're into,
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: you know, and you can meet people that way and
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: use that as like, Okay, at least I'm putting actively
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: putting myself out there. But I have to tell you
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: when I actively put myself out there is when it
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: yields the least results. That is, so I meet people
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: when I'm not looking. That's always what has happened to me.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: And I don't consider any of my relationships unsuccessful because
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: they didn't work out. They were just parts of the
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: things that built me up into who I am today
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: and makes me understand myself even more now.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I know, like I have zero tolerance for any bullshit.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: I have to be completely attracted or into someone to
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: give you the time of day, Like you know, I
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: just don't have that kind of like young attitude about
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: it anymore because my time to with myself is so valuable.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Anthropocy or that was a word of the day. It
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: was called the.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: Pleasure of being alone, the pleasure of enjoying your solitude anthropony. Anthropony,
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: I think is what it was. Anyway, I was like Oh,
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: that's how I feel like. I love I love my
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: alone time, So listen, it doesn't really I'm we're not
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: giving you like a concrete answer here, but I would
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: say just lay off of it for a little bit,
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: don't even think about it for a couple months, and
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: revisit it so you can just kind of get refocused
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: and recalibrate on yourself and then come out and with
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: a fresher perspective. If you're done with the dating sites
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: for now, then give it a break and come back
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: to it in a couple of months or whatever you
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: feel like it. You know, I wouldn't put so much
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: pressure on yourself to meet somebody.
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: Ooh, that was amazing. Take fucking notes. That was heavy.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: But it also I feel like we're trying to say,
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: like we're kind of proud of you that you've invested
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: in yourself, because sometimes you'll only try to date people
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: and you're just like doing whatever they like, and yeah,
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: do some apps, throw yourself in some dates. But we're honest,
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: you're not missing that much. Early twenties guys are confused.
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: They don't even know how to finger you like you're confused.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: You so like you're not missing anything crazy and by
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: the time you're like thirty and you're that bitch, then
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: you're gonna level up and meet someone at that level
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: with you. But that comes in investing in yourself.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, then you really have something to offer somebody up.
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: When you really have put the work into yourself and
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: you are comfortable in your own skin and know who
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: you are, then you really are a catch. You know,
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: not to say you're not one now, but it's only
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: going to get better for you. So the more time
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: you can spend by yourself getting to realize who you are,
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: becoming a self actualized person, is going to yield much
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: better results and much better people that are complimentary to
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: you and that are that are well suited for you.
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: Because sometimes when we come from a place of like, oh, well,
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: I guess I should be doing this, you're not really
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: looking for the right things in a person.
• 53:12
  Speaker 4: And if you get married one day, you have the
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: whole rest of your life that you're gonna be like, oh,
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: I missed when I was early twenties and I could
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: just hang out with the girls.
• 53:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and I would say too, like you moved
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: to this new city two years ago. You know you're
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: kind of established there, but you haven't developed that friend group.
• 53:27
  Speaker 5: And that's one of the best ways to like meet
• 53:29
  Speaker 5: a romantic interest is through friends. So if you're gonna
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: pour effort into anything, maybe pour your effort into like
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: building a base of friendships and dating to find a
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: group of friends.
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: You know, And I love bouldering. That's cool. I mean
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: I've never done it, but I want it sounds fun.
• 53:45
  Speaker 7: It's just easy to pick up if that's something you're
• 53:47
  Speaker 7: interested in.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: Like, what do you do? What is bouldering? Rock climbing?
• 53:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah, but it's like rock climbing, but it's strategic, so
• 53:54
  Speaker 7: there's like different colors and like you're not like stropped
• 53:57
  Speaker 7: into anything. It's not that kind of rock climbing.
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: It's only like ten like a spider monkey. Yeah.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Sure, I'm going to google spider Monkey later.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: It sounds like some sort of semen applicant that's something
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: to do with semen.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Was that helpful to you at all?
• 54:14
  Speaker 8: Yeah?
• 54:14
  Speaker 7: I guess I just kinda have spent the past couple
• 54:17
  Speaker 7: of years building on myself and working on myself and
• 54:20
  Speaker 7: not being invested in finding a romantic partner. So I
• 54:23
  Speaker 7: kind of thought maybe now that I like I'm so
• 54:25
  Speaker 7: established here in my career and my friends here are
• 54:28
  Speaker 7: like okay, but like my friends and family back home,
• 54:30
  Speaker 7: like I'm so secure in that that like I thought
• 54:32
  Speaker 7: this would be like a good time in my life
• 54:34
  Speaker 7: to kind.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Of like branch out.
• 54:35
  Speaker 7: But we're saying, like, no, keep focusing on like myself
• 54:38
  Speaker 7: and like kind.
• 54:39
  Speaker 8: Of go from there.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: No.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can branch out. You can do both things.
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: But I'm just saying in the interim time where like,
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: if you don't want to put the effort into the
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: dating sites, then don't then that you don't have to
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: do that. There's no limit or time frame where you
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: have to be with somebody. I understand the desire, but
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: nothing bad is going to come from you spending time
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: alone and get to know yourself even more. You know,
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: two years is great, So maybe it's another six months.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: You'll know when you have like a real hankering, and
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: you'll definitely know when you meet someone and there's a
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: spark and that could happen.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: Also just a rando.
• 55:12
  Speaker 4: Second, Yeah, it takes one person. Yeah, are you on
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: the apps now?
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: So she's over them?
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: Oh you're over.
• 55:20
  Speaker 7: That's what I'm saying is I'm not really trying. So
• 55:23
  Speaker 7: that's like kind of where I'm at right now.
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: We're kind of saying, don't feel bad about where you are.
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: It's great. And I would redownload apps so you like
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: doing your own thing and force yourself to go on
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: like a date every couple of weeks and see what happens.
• 55:35
  Speaker 7: So I don't really go on the apps because I like,
• 55:37
  Speaker 7: I've done that before and I've never had a dating
• 55:39
  Speaker 7: app where I've been like that was so fun, even
• 55:41
  Speaker 7: though we didn't have a connection.
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: That was great. So like.
• 55:46
  Speaker 7: Go to the movies by myself, like take myself out
• 55:48
  Speaker 7: to dinner, Like I'd rather do that than do that
• 55:50
  Speaker 7: with somebody.
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: Also, like let the friends that you do have know, like, hey,
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: do you know anybody put it out there that you're
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: interested in meeting someone, and like people will start, things
• 55:59
  Speaker 5: will purkle, people will start thinking about who they know
• 56:02
  Speaker 5: and who they might hook you up with. Well, Cecilia,
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: keep us posted on what you do decide to do.
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: If you decide to like work on friendships, if you
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: decide to try out the apps again, yeah for sure.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: And who knows, maybe we'll run into somebody on this
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: podcast and we can set you up with them. We
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: just have to find someone who lives in Orlando.
• 56:21
  Speaker 7: Perfect, yes, Kiwi post.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: Have you heard of Ron DeSantis? Would you like to
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: quantitate with him?
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 56:27
  Speaker 8: Else you? No?
• 56:28
  Speaker 7: Please?
• 56:29
  Speaker 4: Zudi?
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: Too soon? All right, Cecilia, good.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: Luck, thank you, thank bye.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: We don't really help Cecilia.
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: I know she's fine.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean she didn't but she didn't really want
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: to do anything about it.
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: So it's like, I don't know, what are we supposed
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: to just bring someone out of thin air and place
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: her in his custody.
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: Finding a friend group and like solidifying those relationships I
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: think is number one for her because she's been there
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: for two years. Like, she hasn't been there for two months.
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: It doesn't have friends, she's been there for two years.
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: Don't you feel like that's that's the next move?
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: Making friends as an adult could be so hard.
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: Though, But she did say she in her letter, she
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: said she didn't have a friend group.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: But then when we were talking, she said she had
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: some friends.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: Foam, okay, yeah, yeah yeah, Orlando.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: It just sounds so bleak.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: As soon as she said Orlando, it's like, well, the
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: first you have to leave Florida and then we can
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: talk about what's going to happen, you know, Orlando, Like, I.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Know, it's tricky.
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: That's why I said water Parks.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I was trying to be positive, I know, but are
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: those positive?
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: No?
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: Everyone, what's that word that you guys just said?
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: The monkey?
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: Spider monkey? Sounds like you would find that out a
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: word once he comes.
• 57:39
  Speaker 4: That's what it looks like my body.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Oh No.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Vanessa Gonzales who opens for me on my tour, and
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: she talks about men coming and it's it's so disenchanting.
• 57:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's always embarrassing.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: Like, yeah, faces when they come is embarrassing. You have
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: to look away or just shut your eyes.
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: How do we get here?
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: Spider monkeys. Okay, we're going to take a quick break.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: We're back. We are, We're back with Hannah Burner.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: We're back. I do have a little quickie. This is
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: from Caitlin. Dear Chelsea.
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: I think I seriously need my ass kicked, ladies, and
• 58:21
  Speaker 5: I've figured you'd be the best ones to do it.
• 58:23
  Speaker 5: I've been with my boyfriend for about fifteen months and
• 58:26
  Speaker 5: we're absolutely in love. He's amazing everything I've always wanted.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: I've waited a long time for him. She's fifty five.
• 58:33
  Speaker 5: Oh, However, I find myself being hung up on the
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: fact that I make more money than him, like substantially more.
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: I've never been in this situation before, but I'm not
• 58:42
  Speaker 5: so sure how to handle what I'm feeling. When we
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: go out, he drives and pays, et cetera. But when
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: we take it to the next level and live together,
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: I fear there will be resentment on my part because
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: I'll surely be covering more of our living expenses. Chelsea,
• 58:55
  Speaker 5: I'm sure you've been in relationships with men that make
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: less money than you.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: How did you handle it? Please help me get over myself, Caitlin.
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: First of all, men have been paying for us for
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: fucking years, So get over yourself, Caitlyn, who gives a
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: shit about money?
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: Be happy that you're in a happy relationship.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: With somebody that you're attracted to then you want to fuck,
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: and that you want to live with Who cares about
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: who makes more money that?
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't have any resentment.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: It's sometimes not hot if someone's broke, But as long
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: as someone can like pay their fair share of something,
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: and you make more money than you help out a
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: little bit more.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: That's what a relationship is.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: Which guys sometimes are the worst.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, you don't want it. First of all.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: No, this is very sexist, you know, to think that
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: the protect I know I would never I hardly ever.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: I know I hardly ever defend men.
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: But I have to say in defense of men in
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: this one, like, you have everything you want and you're
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: hung up on how much money you make.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: What if every man who supported every.
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: Woman said that that's just silly, that's silliness, and that's
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: old thinking.
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: And you've been shaped by your society.
• 59:55
  Speaker 4: And if he I'd rather be with a guy who
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: loves his job and loves life. It makes me feel
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 4: good about myself than a guy who's what you want him,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 4: a stockbroker that's like gone all the time.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: My friend sits on the couch, she doesn't even want
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: to work anymore, and she loves him.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: She married him.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: Because I want to create a good life for us.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: And if that involves like me living my dream and
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 4: me making money, yeah, we're all happy. You don't need
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 4: finances from him, that's where you work, and he can
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: never control you with finances.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Thank your lucky stars, Thank you You're welcome.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Problem solved, Good night, kicked your ass, Hannah. This was
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: a delight, your Adela.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: This was so much fun.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: You guys want to go see Hannah on tour, you
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: can go to her website Hannah Burner dot com.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: She's touring all over the country. Is that correct?
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you can listen to her podcast, burn her
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: phone and Giggly Squad.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Hannah Burner, Thank you, Chelsea Hm, thank you
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: for being here.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, Chelsea, do you have some new dates for us?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 4: You know, I do?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 4: I do?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of We added lots.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: Of Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: We added about fifteen new tour dates.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelsea
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: Handler dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: on tour all for the rest of the year and
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: through December, and then next year I'm going to be
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: touring all year.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: So come and get it, you guys. It's good times and.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: It's a very much needed reprieve from all the fucking
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: madness that's going on in this world.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: Do you have a holiday themed question for Chelsea? Please
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: send us.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 5: All the questions that you need answered about crazy family
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: get togethers, arguing over which cranberry sauce recipe to us,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 5: and all your holiday drama. Just send your questions to
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 5: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: Edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine Law
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 5: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: dot com