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Why You Must Exceed Your Parents (Ep. 5) · How to Be an Adult

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Younger generations exceeding their parents, society will devolve
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rather than than progress forward. Most good meaning
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parents do want to see their children
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exceed them. I think it's, But if one
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is empty on the inside and they hope
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to have a child so that they're unconditionally
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loved. You're going to have to, create some
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sort of extreme revolution.
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Welcome to How to be an Adult, a
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podcast created by the practitioners at the Morpheus
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Clinic For Hypnosis
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in Toronto, Canada.
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This show is
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the guide for life that you should have
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received when you turned 18,
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but didn't. For those of you who've inadvertently
0:36
become adults,
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we're gonna give you a philosophy of life
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that's worth having.
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I'm Luke Chow. And I'm Pascal Langdell. And
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we share our thoughts here to democratize a
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key aspect of adulthood, which is self assurance.
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Now that we've covered childhood lessons you have
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to unlearn,
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let's talk about
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why you have to exceed your parents
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in adult life. Now I know this episode
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has the potential to ruffle some feathers because
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who wants to be exceeded?
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Yet I'm gonna make the very bold claim
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that for society to evolve,
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for society to to become more accepting, more
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tolerant,
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we have to exceed the limitations and the
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biases
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of prior generations, and that this is a
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long tradition going back to the dawn of
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time. And without this pattern of younger generations
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exceeding their parents, society will devolve rather than
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than progress forward. There is the idea of
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exceeding
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each generation
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and
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there's also this,
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archetypal idea of,
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each child has to kill the father and
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remove themselves from the mother. This is quite
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a frequent narrative
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in a lot of stories. So it's something
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that has existed in stories for 1000 of
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years. This idea of transcending the past and
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exceeding your parents. I don't think it's if
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it ruffles feathers. It's been ruffling feathers for
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1000 of years. And I would suggest that
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the people who's who finds that who actually
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find that as sort of a problem are
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probably not quite adults themselves. In the sense
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that with,
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with my own children.
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I now understand
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why it was that my dad could look
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at me being young and doing all the
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things. On the one hand
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envying that youth but on the other hand
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being so happy that I was making my
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way in the world. And it's a it's
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a double edged sword for sure. But I
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think most good meaning parents do want to
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see their children,
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exceed them. I think it's, it's like your
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job. I would suggest that if we internalize
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this idea that it's not only acceptable,
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but it is the norm to exceed one's
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parents,
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then we don't have to feel as much
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shame exceeding them, let's say, financially.
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And part of the reason for the podcast
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is we don't all have parents who encouraged
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us and loved us and took care of
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us and gave us
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lessons for life that are worth keeping
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in adulthood.
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So, hopefully,
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between the 2 of us, we can help
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our listeners to understand
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the necessity
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of exceeding one's parents.
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And I I think that some of this
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also comes down to
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the role and relationship between child and parent
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changing over time
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and the parent being able to
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accommodate those changes
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without being so egocentric.
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I mean you can't you can't tell a
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baby, okay, you know, you're on your own
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mate. It's
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that dependency is a part of growing up.
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It's when that stays and when that when
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that relationship doesn't change with time and doesn't
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adapt
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to the the child as they are becoming.
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It's the difference between having a bonsai tree
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versus having a plant that you wish to
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nurture and and to see grow as the
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plant which is to to grow naturally.
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Among certain antinatalist
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circles that there is sometimes talk about parenthood
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requiring a license
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just like driving a car requires a license,
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owning a farm require requires a license because
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of the harm you could do.
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Well, becoming a parent should,
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according to some people, require a license. And
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I would say that's part of the examination
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process for this, you know, very oppressive authoritarian
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parenting license that we're talking about.
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The the applicant
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should be able to demonstrate
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that they want a child to nurture the
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child, not to have, like, a bonsai tree
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that they cut down to size.
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And I think that's the distinction between parents
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who wish for their children to exceed them
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and then parents who are terrified of their
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children exceeding them. If one
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has, as we talked about in past episodes,
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a cup that's full and overflowing,
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then
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they're happy for their child when their child
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succeeds.
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But if one is empty on the inside
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and they hope to have a child so
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that they're unconditionally
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loved,
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then one, they're going to be disappointed and
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mistaken.
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But 2,
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in trying to use the child to fill
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up their emptiness,
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they're likely
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to then make
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egregious errors in parenting. Right. When a child
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achieves freedom. Well, I'd say that it's a
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it's a repeated cycle.
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If you have a parent who
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is still essentially locked in a teenager or
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child perspective in major parts of their life,
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Then seeing your child exceed you threatens you.
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It's a reminder of your mortality. It's a
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reminder of your age. It's a reminder of
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your inflexibility and lack of imagination as you've
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grown older. It's a reminder of all the
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things that you lost. And I think that
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it takes an
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an adult, I would say a decent adult
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with these
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these traits that we are discussing now,
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to be able to effectively
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raise
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an adult. Or
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at least if you're
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an ongoing learner of being an adult, you
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know that your behavior affects your children. You
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know that you have a responsibility
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to fix those parts of you and amend
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your behaviors in a way that means that
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they are
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seeing
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good examples of adulthood and good examples of
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behavior. Rather than learning the bad ones.
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I don't know if anybody would have given
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me a license beforehand.
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And I don't think this is the other
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thing. I don't think anybody
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can really prepare themselves in any way
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for having kids.
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It's like the perfect
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storm of needing to be both adaptable but
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also wise.
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I often kind of slag 20th century parent.
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So if you know like Benjamin Spock and
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so on, there's also a trend of letting
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kids cry things out and just neglecting them,
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essentially.
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So alpha is like 20th century parenting. But
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I mean, even in 2023, we hardly have
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everything figured out.
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But that is why, like you, I hope
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that future generations
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exceed my generation and and yours
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and definitely generations older than than us.
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It is because we're not perfect. It is
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because
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there are mistakes in parenting that we're making
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in the 2020s for sure.
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And future generations are going to have more
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knowledge about developmental psychology,
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more of an interconnected world,
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hopefully more peace and tolerance and equality.
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And, you know, younger people are gonna be
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better adapted
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to to those times.
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And unfortunately, if I grew up in the
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19 nineties with, like, a 19 nineties view
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of of the global villages, the term we
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used to use,
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then maybe in 2050 or or to 2060,
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I'm not as well adapted
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as
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younger generations born in the 2030s or the
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20 forties. I mean, there is a role
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for even as an adult to still maintain
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being
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current with change. So that is also we
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will discuss that and if if we haven't
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already. But I think that
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that fresh take on the world
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that comes from youth, and you see it
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generation after generation, is not to be dismissed
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as naivety. Either by younger people or by
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adults.
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It's an energy that is required
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to introduce a certain amount of chaos into,
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something which is established.
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Otherwise, there there would be no
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change. Change means disruption.
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And you can There's obviously an argument about
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what's good change and what's not good change.
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And the pace of change and how used
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to and welcoming you are to change. Those
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are like secondary questions. But the change must
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occur and that requires disruption
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of standard norms
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is the rule of human progress.
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We've all heard the term paradigm shift. Right?
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Often in the context, unfortunately,
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of business and corporate speak. But the origin
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of the term is in Thomas Kuhn's book,
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the structure of scientific revolutions.
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And he identified this pattern where, unfortunately,
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older generations of scientists
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have to either retire or actually pass away
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before new ideas can finally take root.
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So even Albert Einstein
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could not completely
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wrap his head around quantum mechanics.
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It's only kind of once he passed away
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that quantum mechanics started to
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take take root,
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and that's an example of a paradigm shift
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in the scientific context. There's another story that
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reminds me of which is, I think it's
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the development of the Protestant church.
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Alright. And bear with me.
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So there had been various inquisitions,
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you know, trying to keep the Catholic Church
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in the UK.
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And there were wars over it and it
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was it was, you know, Protestantism
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was not a comfortable thing to be. And
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so it did exist but it didn't flourish.
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And then a lot of people said, well,
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it's because of Henry the 8th and he
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needed to get a divorce and that's why
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it all sort of happened.
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But the Black Death may have had more
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to do with that than actually any single
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person. Because what it did is it killed
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off
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a whole generation
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of older clerical members who were resistant against
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change.
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And so you were left with a younger
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generation
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who had very different ideas and who
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now could actually start making those changes without
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the resistance from an older, more traditional clerical
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group. This is why I hope
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so ardently
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that younger people exceed me in my views,
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which were largely formed
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in the 20th century.
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So people being born today
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could quite possibly
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be alive to see the 20
10:47
second century.
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And definitely the social mores, the norms, the
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culture in that future is gonna be different,
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yet people are being born today. They're gonna
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have to be adapted to that. So just
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as people in the late 20th century
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abandoned many of the ways of the mid
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20th century and then people in the mid
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20th century abandoned many of the ways of
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the early 20th century
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and so on and so on going back
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to the dawn of time,
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I actually hope for the future to be
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better than the past.
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And that's why I hope that younger generations
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completely upstage me and, like, my 20th century
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views about whatever it might be. As long
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as, you know, they are indeed improving upon
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these views. Well well, that and that's the
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thing because you could always there's always the
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possibility of going back into the dark ages.
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And it takes an enlighten, you know, a
11:39
new period of enlightenment in order to sort
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of crawl out of that.
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So that begs the question then, okay, change,
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but change change for change's sake is not
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necessarily good. Not all changes are good. So
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how do you
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how do you sort the wheat from the
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chaff? How do you figure out
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what's
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what do you take from your parents that
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worked
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for them and their parents and so on?
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Because we have survived
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as a species through a series of progressions
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and expansions and new understandings.
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I think the litmus test
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is
12:13
whether the the change
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would apply
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universally.
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So the kinds of ideas
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that were originated, let's say,
12:25
25 100 years ago,
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that have made it through many, many generations
12:30
and the dark ages and so on, and
12:33
that we still celebrate today. So stoic thought,
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for example,
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various religions that are that old.
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The very fact that as a 21st century
12:43
human being,
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I can read Epictetus,
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who was a slave in the Roman Empire,
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at least before he was freed,
12:52
and what he says is relevant.
12:54
Right? This means that the ideas transcend
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not just me being a 21st century human
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being, but me being part of the Anglo
13:02
sphere, and me, you know, being kind of
13:04
a nerd,
13:05
and me, you know, with my gender, and
13:07
my race, and my age, and so on.
13:10
These ideas that transcend
13:13
individuals,
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I think are much more likely to stand
13:16
the test of time.
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And to cast our minds back to the
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time of Epictetus,
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Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor,
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also contributed to stoic thought in ways that
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I deeply resonate with. So if you have
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ideas that an emperor
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and a slave, who are contemporaries
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agree with, then probably those ideas will also
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generalize
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1000 of years
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later. And though they'll generalize probably
13:46
1000 of years from now as long as
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we human beings are still around. But so
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so here's here's an example of a good
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idea that persists and one that doesn't. You
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mentioned, Oedipus. So the observation
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of the necessity for the child to transcend
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the parent and the penalties
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of not doing so. Also there's something about
14:05
in there about honesty and lying incidentally. You
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know, so there's a lot of lessons there
14:09
that you could
14:10
draw upon.
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But at the same time, I'm not sure
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if it's exactly the same time, but let's
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say,
14:16
Greek dramatic history also included
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the idea that you could condemn a person
14:21
to death
14:23
and then say they have to be killed
14:24
on stage as part of a play. Which
14:27
which of course is bonkers.
14:30
Now,
14:31
that that idea didn't persist. Although maybe maybe
14:34
might want it to to some people might
14:36
crazy people might want that to happen. But
14:38
it doesn't. Right? So That's an example of
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an idea that doesn't generalize.
14:43
Because we might want that guy to die
14:45
on stage, but we wouldn't want me. I
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wouldn't want me to die on stage. I
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wouldn't want you to die on stage. So
14:52
automatically, even without looking at the passing of
14:55
time,
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the idea does not generalize it. That idea
14:59
had to die on the vine. But if
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there were some kind of idea that that
15:04
everyone in the theater
15:06
would agree with and and and benefit from,
15:08
That idea that universalizes to everyone in the
15:11
theater
15:12
is more likely to also stand the test
15:14
of time.
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Okay. So we've we've isolated persistence across time.
15:19
We've isolated
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the idea of good ideas that remain universal
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and
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scalable across
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people and culture.
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What do you see as the obstacles to
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seeing those things or identifying them? What are
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the temptations and pitfalls?
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I think that this
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modern trend of identity politics
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Okay. That
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neglects the common humanity
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and looks at qualities that usually were born
15:46
with and didn't actually decide.
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I think that this trend away from
15:53
is detrimental
15:54
because it doesn't give people principles that are
15:58
gonna last the test of time. Just like
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these principles don't even
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transcend certain individuals
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or certain groups of individuals.
16:08
Now I I am kind of, you know,
16:10
just slightly dipping my toes in the culture
16:12
wars here.
16:13
But universalism used to be quite a liberal
16:16
leftist idea
16:17
that there'll be the same set of rules
16:19
and laws for Christians and Jews and Muslims
16:22
and so on. And this was celebrated as
16:24
a fantastic
16:25
thing.
16:26
I am, you
16:28
know,
16:29
I guess
16:30
a 20th century kind
16:32
of liberal.
16:34
In that,
16:36
I think that the trend toward identity politics
16:39
is making the world more racist, more sexist,
16:42
more divided,
16:43
more bitter.
16:44
And it's harder to maintain relationships
16:46
while we politely and civilly disagree.
16:50
And that, you know, what I kinda grew
16:52
up with in in the eighties and the
16:54
nineties where we could, you know, maintain relationships
16:56
and disagree, that that that was a better
16:58
norm. So so so here we go. So
17:00
so then you've got to say, well, okay.
17:01
So I consider myself as somewhat
17:04
an old fashioned pro enlightenment
17:07
liberal
17:08
democrat, right? But then the question is, well,
17:10
you know, someone's gonna turn around and say
17:12
to me,
17:13
no, you're wrong.'
17:14
Right? This is you're just out of date.
17:16
You've gotta update your map, my friend, is
17:19
incorrect and was good for the nineties but
17:20
is not good
17:22
for now.
17:23
Can you be more specific? So for instance,
17:25
there could be an argument that says that
17:27
the
17:28
new ideas
17:29
require
17:30
extremes
17:31
in order to be sorted out. And I've
17:34
heard this argument. I personally, I'm not fully
17:37
convinced.
17:38
But the idea is that if you want
17:40
to affect change,
17:42
either you've got to wait for all the
17:44
old clerics to die
17:46
or alternatively you're going to have to create
17:48
some sort of extreme revolution
17:51
or create an extreme
17:53
in order to open up the doors to
17:55
the possibility of the kind of change which
17:57
it resets back to. It's the idea that
17:59
you're pushing something in order to increase the
18:02
range and then you're going to pull back
18:04
to the reasonable ground. I think there's always
18:07
going to be
18:08
conservatives
18:10
and liberals in society because they each play
18:12
a role, and it's a different role.
18:15
The conservatives
18:16
exist to advocate
18:17
for the way we've been doing things, for
18:20
for the way things have been. And then
18:22
the Liberals exist
18:23
to advocate for a new way of doing
18:26
things. And it's this kind of dialectic
18:29
between these two forces
18:31
that produces the middle ground without violent revolution
18:34
or a a plague that kills a third
18:37
of the population.
18:38
And for that dialectic to work, it has
18:40
to be a dialectic.
18:42
It absolutely has to, which is why I'm
18:44
concerned about the state of the world. Right.
18:45
Because one of the things that we're talking
18:47
about so far as qualities we need to
18:51
integrate as adults is the ability to
18:54
be disagreed with,
18:56
the ability to disagree,
18:57
and,
18:58
emotional self regulation.
19:01
As soon as you
19:02
remove that potential for a dialectic,
19:05
then you're removing the possibility of profiting from
19:07
chaos.
19:08
If you are raising,
19:10
children and their emotional self regulation is all
19:14
over the place and, maybe their perception of
19:16
fear is is is extended and there's all
19:18
these things going on.
19:20
If you just say, oh, it's just a
19:21
teenager and dismiss how they feel and dismiss
19:24
them, that's not going to work either.
19:27
Right? So and I'm not making I'm not
19:29
making parallels between modern approaches and teenagers. I'm
19:33
saying that that introduction of chaos and the
19:35
youthful introduction of chaos in
19:37
into,
19:38
say,
19:39
liberal norms
19:41
has its role. And it's important that you
19:43
and I get prodded and it's important that
19:45
you and I
19:47
then say, Okay, well,
19:49
we'll listen. We'll we'll try and understand your
19:51
point of view and
19:53
we will adapt with new information and we
19:55
will
19:56
accept that you know, when falsehoods are revealed.
19:59
But that's part of being an adult. Right?
20:01
So if you've got 2 people, one who's
20:03
you've got one person who's
20:05
introducing chaos into I say chaos in a
20:08
in a good way, you know, disrupting a
20:10
traditional norm. And you've got somebody who's
20:13
questioning or resisting, so that's conservative and liberal
20:16
in traditional terms, then you've got to have
20:18
both of them have got to be adult
20:21
enough
20:22
to be able to discuss it
20:25
rather than say,
20:26
fall back to a childhood point of view
20:29
which would be to stamp your foot and
20:30
say, I'm out of here. I think it's
20:32
important to treat our fellow human beings
20:35
as basically
20:37
intelligent
20:38
moral
20:39
thinking beings.
20:41
Because as soon as you write the other
20:43
side off as crazy or foolish, you're basically
20:46
gonna start gaslighting them. Yeah.
20:48
So if we instead recognize
20:50
that the opposing view
20:53
comes from an intelligent
20:55
moral human being,
20:57
then we must
20:59
consider their point of view and possibly then
21:02
extract the value in that opposing point of
21:04
view. The main point I wanted to convey
21:07
is that
21:08
conservatives make better
21:10
managers,
21:12
better administrators and bureaucrats,
21:14
and liberals
21:15
make better entrepreneurs.
21:18
We need
21:19
entrepreneurs in the world to start new businesses,
21:22
to disrupt
21:24
models of business that just don't work that
21:26
well and aren't that
21:28
efficient. And then, you know, the entrepreneur gets
21:30
bored,
21:31
and that's when the professional managers
21:34
come in to manage a business that's already
21:36
been started, that's already gained market share. I'm
21:39
putting this in very capitalistic
21:40
terms.
21:41
The the idea is there is a role
21:44
for for the conservative line of thinking after
21:47
the ground has been broken
21:49
by those who've kind of gone first and
21:51
have taken the risks that they created chaos
21:53
or what do you call it? Creative destruction?
21:56
Yeah. Destruction or or just disruption, really. I
21:58
mean, but then you're also gonna have, conservatives
22:01
saying, look, don't break that ground. Don't dis
22:03
don't disrupt that. That's perfectly fine as it
22:05
is. And we also know that that doesn't
22:07
work too. Well, no, because the other person's
22:09
an intelligent moral person with autonomy and self
22:12
determination in in agency. Yeah. Smoking rates
22:15
have gone down over time.
22:18
And the last time I checked, it was
22:20
something like 10% of the population, whereas it
22:22
used to be a full quarter or a
22:24
full third of the population would smoke cigarettes.
22:28
At some point, probably by the end of
22:30
the century,
22:31
we'll see tobacco smoking
22:34
as
22:35
like lining your home with asbestos.
22:38
It's something that people used to do not
22:40
knowing any better.
22:42
And once we knew better, we stopped doing
22:45
it. That does make me think of the
22:47
idea that change occurs
22:49
and part of it is the acceptance of
22:51
new information. Okay. So you got the PR
22:53
period where
22:54
essentially you're sowing like a social contagion. Smoking
22:57
is good for you and then because you
22:59
see other people smoking
23:00
you assume that well everybody kind of knows
23:03
that this is a good thing. So I
23:04
shall smoke too. And this makes me feel
23:06
good, makes me look good, and it's associated
23:08
with all these things. But it is in
23:10
effect a social contagion
23:12
because ultimately cigarettes are not as addictive
23:16
as heroin as is often claimed.
23:18
So the reason to be a smoker
23:21
was a good proportion of it. It was
23:22
like a social acceptance that it was a
23:24
good idea.
23:26
And then you have the awful
23:28
situation where they knew it was gonna kill
23:30
you, they knew it was gonna create cancer,
23:33
but still sold it.
23:35
And that's when the again, that's when the
23:37
rage at the establishment
23:39
can rear its head and say, You knew
23:41
better. You're the people that came before you
23:44
lied to us. We can never trust you
23:45
again. Which is fair, I think.
23:48
I don't blame that sentiment at all. But
23:50
here you have an example of it's not
23:52
just new information because new information may exist.
23:55
It's the
23:57
acceptance of that new information as a truth.
24:00
And that there are, if you like, sometimes
24:04
conservatism
24:05
can why I call it toxic conservatism.
24:08
It goes beyond
24:10
just keeping things the way they are into
24:12
forcing and withholding information in order to stop
24:15
change. So one of the things that you
24:17
could say about good ideas persisting
24:20
is that if you go back to the
24:23
axiom that
24:24
you should always try and peer through things
24:27
to get at the truth of something,
24:28
then that will that will be a good
24:30
approach as an adult. And historically there's been
24:33
a lot of examples of this where because
24:36
other people buy into the idea that something
24:38
is good or correct or true,
24:40
you then assume that that is also good
24:42
and correct and true.
24:44
And if you are Well I said one
24:46
of the qualities of being an adult is
24:47
that you're not dependent on other people's opinions
24:50
and you're not dependent on other people's
24:52
truths. You search for them yourself. So in
24:56
this context you'd be, Well okay, yeah. Everybody
24:58
thinks it's fine. It's great. And then
25:01
evidence starts coming around that actually you know
25:03
it's not good for you and it will
25:04
kill you and it's actually pretty awful.
25:07
And the old guard, if you like, the
25:09
the, the cigarette companies deliberately
25:12
hid that evidence.
25:14
At which point you could argue, well,
25:16
it's one thing to have new information.
25:19
It's another thing to be able to accept
25:21
or to actually get hold of that information
25:23
and understand what the truth is. And as
25:25
a child you have no way of dealing
25:28
with that at all. You have to depend
25:29
on your parents
25:31
for so much For their knowledge, their wisdom
25:33
to keep you alive. They know how to
25:34
cook. They know how to clean. They know
25:35
how to do math. There's millions of things,
25:37
right? But if you've gained the age of
25:40
majority
25:41
and you have an axiom that says that
25:44
the pursuance of truth is to the best
25:47
of your ability is a good thing
25:49
and that what is accepted as true may
25:51
or may not be true. I mean that's
25:53
a as in you have to assess things
25:56
in for your own,
25:58
validity, your own Hence exceeding your parents. Yeah,
26:01
exceeding your parents. Exactly. And using your own
26:03
eyes and your own ears and your own
26:06
autonomy.
26:06
It's highly surprising there was a lot of
26:08
anger about that and also a lot of,
26:09
you know,
26:10
why would I respect
26:12
any elder person and their conservatism?
26:15
Because every time that
26:16
happens
26:17
it just gives more fuel, if you like,
26:20
to the distrust rather than encouraging
26:23
as we were talking about the idea of
26:25
a discussion between
26:27
two sides. But there's a difference
26:29
between a person and the ideas contained within
26:32
the person. Yeah. And it's similar to the
26:34
distinction
26:35
between your cell phone and the apps that
26:38
you've installed on your cell phone, where you
26:40
don't have to toss the whole phone
26:43
if you don't like the app that you're
26:45
running. You can just delete that one app
26:47
and install a different app that's more to
26:49
your liking,
26:50
and it is a mistake if we discard
26:52
the whole phone when we could just do
26:54
a software update or an app update.
26:57
It also is, I would assert, a mistake
27:00
to discard a whole person,
27:03
elderly and conservative or not,
27:06
when their ideas
27:08
are
27:09
changeable.
27:10
Now whether that particular person is gonna be
27:12
amenable to you trying to change their worldview,
27:14
that that's a different story.
27:16
But, you know, we have big brains relative
27:18
to our body sizes. We're very adaptable
27:21
because that's what our species does.
27:24
So to kind of see a person
27:28
as their views, that conflates
27:31
software and hardware that we don't even do
27:33
for self in a way that we don't
27:35
even do for cell phones. But then to
27:36
kinda separate the person
27:39
from the ideas
27:40
that that recognizes
27:41
they could also be on a lifelong journey
27:44
of learning and growing and adapting. And I
27:47
suppose that if you have this idea that
27:49
when you
27:50
you step out into the world, you're you're
27:53
you're working with a
27:54
you're already working with an out of date
27:56
map. Whatever it is that your parents went
27:58
through Like my my dad was the first
28:01
in his family to go to university.
28:03
I think he actually went and did the
28:04
equivalent of STEM and became an engineer. But
28:07
back in those days that wasn't necessarily true.
28:09
You would do any kind of degree and
28:10
then you'd walk into any kind of job.
28:12
Right? Which is kind of different to now.
28:14
And then he had a job for life,
28:16
which of course in my generation
28:18
became increasingly unheard of.
28:21
And so his map for how a life
28:23
is lived and
28:25
the certitudes of his generation
28:27
were not the certitudes of mine. And in
28:29
the same way, the certitudes of my generation
28:31
are not going to be those,
28:32
that work for my children's lifetime. So that
28:36
that goes back to the idea, well, that
28:37
you've got to have axioms and principles
28:40
when you finally step out as an autonomous
28:43
adult
28:44
that persist
28:45
regardless of the world that you're walking into.
28:47
They've got to persist at any time. They've
28:49
got to work at any time in history.
28:51
They've got to work in
28:52
any culture so that you could literally be
28:55
picked up and dropped off anywhere and you
28:57
would still survive and perhaps do pretty well.
28:59
It's why I'm a universalist.
29:01
Mhmm.
29:02
It's why I'm trying to figure out, okay,
29:05
what do all human beings have in common?
29:07
Because if we kind of figure out the
29:09
truth of what all human beings have in
29:10
common, then I am set
29:13
for whatever the future holds. And then if
29:15
I share these principles with others, they're also
29:17
set for whatever the unknown, uncertain future holds.
29:22
So let's say that someone's just turned 18,
29:24
and they're about to choose a university. Well,
29:26
maybe they're gonna go to a whole new
29:28
country. But the the the principle of being
29:31
decent and kind to your fellow human beings,
29:33
that the principle of believing your own senses
29:36
above your preconceived notions, these kinds of principles
29:39
will hold anywhere in the world, which to
29:42
me makes them worthwhile principles
29:44
to have. And in doing that, that leaves
29:47
the door open to exceed your parents. Yes.
29:49
Absolutely.
29:50
Because you'll see with your own eyes and
29:51
you'll hear with your own ears something different
29:53
from what your parents saw with their eyes
29:55
and heard with their ears. And, you know,
29:57
if they upheld that principle then they would
29:59
have
30:00
exceeded your grandparents
30:01
who used their eyes and ears to believe
30:03
whatever they saw many many years ago. This
30:07
is, you know, this believing of the senses
30:09
above preconceived notions, this is a principle that
30:12
holds up generation after generation and around the
30:14
world. This will be a principle that I
30:17
hold for myself and, you know, I'm sharing
30:20
on this podcast with others.
30:22
And of course, not not everybody is given
30:24
that playbook as we know. And so at
30:27
least having,
30:29
as you say, principles that have proven to
30:32
work through, you know, an extended period of
30:35
time
30:36
and
30:37
across cultures are gonna serve you well.
30:40
And then
30:41
also, we'll also protect you against, should we
30:45
say, shallower and more temporary
30:47
axioms or beliefs?
30:49
I think the world has to converge
30:52
upon the idea that we are more we
30:54
are all, as human beings, more similar than
30:56
different.
30:57
It is because once we kind of meet
31:00
people from different cultures, once we meet people
31:02
of different generations,
31:03
different sexual orientations,
31:05
different religions,
31:07
then if we care about truth, we're gonna
31:09
see the similarities. Yeah. We all have to
31:11
sleep. We all have to eat. We all
31:13
wanna be treated decently. There is, you know,
31:15
such a And and generally speaking,
31:18
people have essentially the same pro social values.
31:22
They may come in, they may manifest themselves
31:23
in different ways. They may have come from
31:25
different paths.
31:27
One other thing I'm gonna say about why
31:30
we have to exceed our parents.
31:32
It's that younger people have to be on
31:34
the planet longer.
31:36
People being born today, as I've mentioned, they're
31:38
probably you know, if they live a normal
31:40
length life,
31:41
they're gonna see the 22nd century.
31:44
And if everything happens in the natural order,
31:46
I am going to outlive my parents just
31:49
like they outlived their parents if everything happens
31:51
in the natural order. And it's more likely
31:53
you'll you'll outlive them by some greater degree
31:57
as your life expectancy
31:58
increases across generations. Yes.
32:01
So often older generations say, well, I've been
32:04
on the planet longer. I I know more
32:06
than you do. I have more life experience.
32:08
But also, they have less of a future
32:10
timeline that they have to live in. Whereas
32:13
younger people, sure, they have less
32:16
life experience,
32:18
but I think out of necessity
32:19
that they have to look more to the
32:21
possibility of living in the 22nd century and
32:24
what that world is actually going to look
32:27
like, let's say socially, let's say environmentally.
32:31
And I I think that's part of the
32:32
reason why younger people tend to be more
32:34
liberal
32:35
because they do have to think about
32:37
what the world is gonna be like when
32:39
they grow older. Whereas, you know, when I'm
32:41
80 years old, I only have to look
32:43
forward to, like, maybe, like, a 5 or
32:45
10 year timeline.
32:46
And it's not that I don't care that,
32:48
you know, after I'm gone that people are,
32:50
you know, are gonna be happy. It's it
32:52
just comes comes with a territory
32:54
that I'm not gonna think as deeply about
32:56
it as a younger person will. This is
32:59
quite a sort of
33:00
an oddly optimistic
33:02
session in the sense that this shows a
33:05
certain amount of faith in
33:08
humans in general to be adaptable,
33:11
to be able
33:12
to learn and live by
33:14
time proven culture proof axioms.
33:18
That if you do that, then you're more
33:20
likely to
33:23
raise children that will exceed you in their
33:25
turn. And not just carry on all your
33:28
sins, bad traits, and foibles, and failures.
33:31
Right?
33:33
So so this is an encouraging this is
33:34
an encouraging idea is There is a pathway
33:38
that is an optimistic one. It's not a
33:40
case of, Oh, you know, the older generation
33:42
has screwed things up and it's now irreparable
33:45
and,
33:47
the young people
33:49
should stay in nihilism and despair. You know
33:51
what I mean? Which is also a narrative
33:52
that is kind of kinda thrown around as
33:54
well. Absolutely. And we're gonna have a future
33:56
episode about how to deal with climate anxiety
33:58
just as one example of why the nihilism
34:00
and and the despair.
34:02
But you are right that I am speaking
34:06
to to advocate for a view of the
34:09
future that accounts for human adaptivity and resilience
34:12
and our ongoing capacity to to learn as
34:16
the world changes around us.
34:18
And you are right that I do see
34:21
this kind of optimism
34:23
as
34:24
more of a helpful orientation
34:27
than
34:28
nihilism.
34:29
So I would say, I'm guilty as charged.
34:32
Well, good. Well, I hope that's helpful to
34:34
to anybody watching or listening.
34:37
Thank you so much for listening.
34:39
If you like the kinds of things that
34:40
you've heard us talk about here, Pascal and
34:43
I are both available for hire through the
34:45
Morphis Clinic for hypnosis in Toronto, Canada.
34:48
I wouldn't be too concerned about the h
34:50
word, hypnosis,
34:52
because it's a lot more rational than it's
34:55
often explained to be. And we have a
34:57
free consultation process and a writing of treatment
35:00
plans for new clients
35:02
that you can engage in if you contact
35:04
the Morpheus Clinic for hypnosis at www.morpheusclinic.com.
35:09
If you're interested in what we have been
35:12
talking about and
35:13
how these thoughts are going to evolve over
35:15
the next episodes, then please, subscribe on YouTube
35:18
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35:20
or wherever it is you get your your
35:22
podcasts. Look for how to be an adult.
35:24
So, yes, I'm looking forward to the next
35:25
episode. Do you know what that's gonna be?
35:27
It's why we ought to live a principled
35:29
life in the first place as opposed to
35:32
pursuing
35:32
ego driven
35:34
desires or pure pleasure
35:36
or the sheer,
35:38
raw exercise of, let's say, power.
35:41
So if that interests you, and I'm assuming
35:44
that those who are purely interested in egocentric
35:47
hedonism
35:48
at
35:49
the cost of everybody else, for the rest
35:51
of us, please
35:54
subscribe and follow us. And, yes, we look
35:57
forward to having another chat.