Latest / Notable Nostalgia / 88. The Golden Girls: 'Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas

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88. The Golden Girls: 'Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas · Notable Nostalgia

0:00
Not important. What is important is this episode of Golden Girls. Jeff,
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great to say about it. Go Jeff, I don't know what I don't
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that's all right, I don't know. I'm Ali, I'm Andy, I'm
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Jeff, and I'm Ria. And this is notable nostalgia. Thank you for
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being a friend. Nostalgia nerds, Welcome to notable nostalgia. I've got Ria,
0:41
Jeff Andy with me, and coming off the amazing fan script episode that
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Andy written had written, we're doing some Golden Girls actual review today, so
0:53
pretty exciting stuff. And we're doing holiday version of it. Pretty excited and
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I love the Golden Girls and I love Holiday. So it's two of my
1:00
favorite things together at one for one low cost of four ninety nine. This
1:07
is a free podcast, so yeah, but Hulu's not free, that is
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true. Yeah, Hulu is not free, but pirating is. So I
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don't know. Uh so this is uh twas the Nightmare before Christmas, which
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is a season two episode of Golden Girls, episode eleven. You can watch
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it on Hulu. Is there anywhere else any of you watched it? Or
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was it all Hulu? I only I love Hulu. I only checked to
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Hulu. Yes, Hulu Andy pledging his allegiance to Hulu. Uh it for
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so long and then I got it like six months ago. I'm like,
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this is fucking great. Really held off for no reason on that one.
1:49
Now they have Golden Bachelor Kardashians like it's set. They have all the King
1:53
of the Hills. Yeah, there we go. Yeah right, just go
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alone. I'm like, what, Yeah, So did Tim Burton steal before
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Christmas from this? I don't know because this came out first, right,
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yes, yeah, yeah, five years before. Yeah, all right,
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i'man he should be sued. I actually saw a Night Move for Christmas this
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year in the theaters because it was like a thirtieth anniversary or whatever. It
2:19
was great because the screen was so big. I noticed a lot of stuff
2:22
I've never noticed before, and the songs so a little bit better, and
2:23
it was pretty cool. So yeah, nice. What did you notice little
2:28
characters that I didn't like in the shadows I'd never noticed before, Like there's
2:31
like a little bad just a little thing that's in the movie at least once
2:35
a year since probably ninety nine. Yeah, you know, I've seen the
2:38
movie ever twenty times, so it's pretty cool. Just a little extra characters.
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It's probably one of those things that you see down the big screen in
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HD and everything. You probably say a camera guy off to the side,
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Oh, Andy, did I hear that you watched the Golden Bachelor. That's
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just oh that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, who is it about,
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like piss sports or something. No, it's like a man that's like in
3:01
the seventies, Like I bet you anything, Andy, if you watched the
3:05
first episode, I bet you'll shut it here within the first ten minutes.
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I am not opposed to watching reality shows. I fucking loved those reality shows
3:13
in early two thousands. So yeah, yeah, there's they have the fantasy
3:17
suites and in one of the last episodes, in one episode, I think
3:21
he went into the fantasy suite with three different women. Yeah, it should
3:25
be sponsored by Ky if you know what I mean. Or why a comedian
3:30
friend of mine really loves it, like weirdly loves it. I don't know,
3:36
Okay why or yeah gold Batchelor. What are you eating right there?
3:42
Pizza Pizza Waller is best pizza on it. Yes, it's I love my
3:49
Pineapple pizza preach. Jeff Kay is also for Kentucky, right yep, sure,
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So your friend's like really into Kentucky or something you really arose. It's
4:02
just like boys like this. But sometimes I feel like maybe this could be
4:09
like a new invention for Shark Tank. So I love Shark Tank, which
4:12
is also on Hulu, like I like, I don't know, I like
4:15
sharks think, yeah, I love that show. So they should come out
4:17
with a k y but for your butt, because I guess that's lube.
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But I'm talking not about sex, but like about like for poops, like
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those really dry poops. If you ate a bunch of ky, it might
4:29
help might die though I don't know, Like tide pods, Like you're not
4:32
supposed to eat those, but I keep coming out what they come out like
4:34
lavender fleet, and they look delicious and they smell great. And now every
4:41
time I wash my clothes, I have to press it again my lips closer
4:44
and closer. Does anybody here use tide pods? Yeah? I do.
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They're squishy. You have to touch it against your lips, so soon it's
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gonna be my mouth and I'll probably die. I don't know. So it's
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all good and one step for there develop. This is only trying to endorse
5:01
this because it's so problematic. But if you do tied pod blim you Oh,
5:06
there we go, then you get satisfactionally eating it, but you don't
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die. There we go, There we go, Shark Tank, We're coming
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for you. All right, Well, this episode aired on December twentieth,
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nineteen eighty six. We're gonna sure that idea? Wait, what's your idea?
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Well, I got to give you the presentation. Ag Uh, So
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we are reviewing an eighties episode, which is uncommon ground for us. But
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I feel like this is feels like a nineties show. Part of it,
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part of the nineties reruns, Growing up right, Yeah, I think it
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sure makes sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can justify my entire
5:53
life starting from the nineties till now. So yeah, Tech twenty twenty show
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two right, all right, Uh we could get started here. Great,
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I'm done with my pizza. We're set beside bar Wallies. Have you done
6:11
the Monzarelli sticks? They have their life changing Monrel sticks better than Arby's.
6:18
Yeah yeah, yeah, I would say yeah, we are the unofficial,
6:23
unofficially sponsored by Arby's. I mean, if they paid me in Montreli sticks,
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I would They're montrel sticks? Are s Tier h S Tier what does
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that mean. I don't know. It's just like the highest tier tier s
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t if you watch any memes, if you see if you see any memes,
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watch oh good lord, any memes, there's s tire and then like
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the rest. Okay. I don't know what to say. I don't know
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why it is, but it is. Okay, So I think it means
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superior, but I could be maybe because superior from Michigan. Right, We're
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just gonna do all of American geography today. I went off on different.
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Okay, go ahead, I'll be ready for an episode synopsis. Cue the
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Doo Doo Do Do Do Do Doom. Thank you for being travel down look
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again. The episode opens with Blanche trying to sneak in her new bow ed
7:42
dressed as Santa. She's relieved none of the ladies are home and they head
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straight to the bedroom. Shortly after they leave, Dorothy and Rose get back
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from Christmas shopping, and Dorothy laments that Christmas has lost all meaning and it
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has gotten too commercial. Just then Blanche comes out wearing D's beard and hat,
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yelling catch me, cat, catch me. As Dorothy tries to introduce
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Ed, Rose is quick to interrupt, saying We know who he is,
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Blanche Santa? How could you? Rose? And Sis his job is too
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important to follow around and kicks him out as he leaves. Sophia arrives to
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Blanche, describing her Santa fetish. Sophia complains about the cost of shopping these
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days. She got gifts for everyone on Dorothy's card. Dorothy doubles down on
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the lack of spirit on Christmas. Rose suggests before they leave to see their
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families, the four celebrate like she used to, making gifts for each other.
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Didn't you have the best time Christmas shopping today? During I loved it
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being pushed and shoved all day so I could buy gifts I can of Howard,
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it's a regular Yule Tide treat it so crouchy old. Oh I'm sorry,
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Rose. I guess I'm just sad because Christmas doesn't have any meaning anymore.
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It's gotten so commercial. How can you say that? Rose? The
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three wise men in the Nativity scene at Birdine's were wearing Ralph Lorenski park because
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catch me, catch me, let me take a wild Guess you didn't expect
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us home this early. We know who he is, Blanche Santa? How
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could you? I loved it. But my favorite part is when Rose suggests
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that idea, freaking Dorothy acts like she just invented fire. She's like,
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Rose, that's a great idea. Yeah, you like, nobody thought that
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was going to be a thing. I don't know that she really oversold the
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that's fair I was thinking during this one. So they come in right after
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pretty much, Blanche and Santa Claus go into the room, and it makes
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me think that Blanche is fucking around that house when they're not there. Oh
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totally. I never really thought about that. Yeah, and also how asked
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they came in afterwards? They might have taken the same car. That's like,
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yeah, what did they not see each other? It was literally seconds
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afterwards. Yeah, it was not her bow, she said, you know,
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she waited an hour to sit on his let. It's just some guys,
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she fell, I mean bo romantic partner, right, no hook up,
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all right, hook up. I do like that She's strike it from
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the record, thank you. I do like that. She calls him santy
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clause uh huh. And then just to throw back to Andy's script, just
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to tie in, Sofia always using Dorothy's money with the credit card. Yeah,
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yeah, yeah, listening to this and that one, like you did
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such a great job with cos I appreciate it. I did just read that,
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or I guess I listened to I just started listening to books. Anyways.
10:52
Great, I'm time to read books. Listen to books. It's great.
10:54
Yeah, but the history is funny by Ken Jennings. So I feel
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like that's helping a lot. Not important. What is important is this episode
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of Golden Girls. Have some great to say about it. Go, Jeff,
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I don't know what. I don't sorry, smart, I don't know
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what, Jeff or Rhea. Any attraction to Santa Claus. No, not
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to Santa Claus. No, but I do have like fetishes for sure,
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we don't need to go there. I mean, Santa is not tall and
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bald, so I always think of Santa Claus as very like a very sacred
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person or character or spirit or whatever it is. So I don't I don't
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think about that like I like in high school, I did like that early
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childhood education class, and I took the Santa Claus outfit from the drama department
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and went in there and met with the kids and a little toys, and
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I knew all of their names, and they didn't know it was me,
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So they like, oh man, that was so cool. Yeah, for
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sure. So Santa Claus and me and my mom always like track where Santa
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is red, I too, have my daughter's there. Yeah, I would
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not fetishish size SETI size that's right, yeah, Santa Claus. But like,
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I don't know what. I worked at Rentas Center and uh we were
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I was like twenty two or twenty three. That was pretty good, but
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we had uh it was a fun job though. Anyways, that's important.
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So what is important? Why don't keep talking like that? Okay, here
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we go, all right, So I worked at Renta Center one year is
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during Christmas and they were going to have kids come over and there's gonna be
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a Santa. Santa backed out. We had the suit, so they go,
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amy kin you do it. I'm like, sure, I'll do the
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Santa right. But we didn't have black boots. So at the on the
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bottom of couches there's that black, like I don't know, fabric that they
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put on black couches. So we ripped that off and we just wrapped it
12:56
around my go around my look like a homeless Sanna. Oh it was so
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good. Just didn't notice that had a good time. But if so,
13:05
when Jeremy eventually leaves me and I'm like, you know, in my sixties
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or something, that I'm at Mac's around holiday then and I'm in heat,
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I might go sit on his lap. Yeah. What if it turns out
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it's actually Jeremy though, and that's how we can get about to get it.
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We should write a movie about this. Yeah, what what did you
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think of What did you think of Rose's like insistence on but like believing in
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Santa Claus. Yeah, I thought that was kind of cute. I thought
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I thought it was cute that she was like a Santa is never off duty,
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but also yeah, that she was just like, I mean, she
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recognized that it wasn't okay Sanna, but she was like a Sannah. Like
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if you portray Sanna, you're stuck being Sanna. I was like, she's
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not that dumb, right, Yeah, what were talking about? In our
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household? Santa is real. Eventually he becomes you become Santa, but Santa's
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real. I uh no, I totally get where it was coming from,
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because, let's say, I don't know, just some little kid was walking
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by the house and she saw Santa rail and Blanche and that ruins that kid's
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fucking life. So or you got they developed a Santa fetish. Oh otherwise,
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I did love though, like Dorothy's little zing about alluding that he's a
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married man. Yeah yeah, but like the guy and I thought that was
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pretty pretty good and sad. Yeah yeah, well, who knows the life
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might be like, yeah, maybe they have an open relationship. Oh yeah,
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that's true. Yeah maybe if that's truly happy. He did look pretty
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shameful though when she made that job, So maybe that's his king. He
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likes to be shamed. We can't assume. Oh, by the way,
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remember last year we were talking about Barbari Streis and singing Christmas songs. As
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of twenty twenty three, there have been no negative reports about her singing Christmas
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song so it's still acceptable. Wait, Christmas songs she does. And last
15:03
year I told Ali I was going to do check ins every year to make
15:07
sure it's still acceptable for her to sing Christmas songs. And we're still okay
15:09
because she's Jewish. Okay. So yeah, was that on an episode?
15:18
I like that I was on Christmas Music back to this regularly scheduled podcast.
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Yeah, well, that night the ladies exchanged their gifts. Rose got Dorothy
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a maple syrup spigott, Blanche made each one and men of Blanche's boudoir calendars.
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Dorothy peaks and exclaims woe, and Blanche knowingly says September, and then
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Sophia follows with I'm surprised you could walk after October. In October, and
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then the lady is reminisced about their Christmas is back home. Rose in Minnesota,
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Dorothy and Sophia New York, and Blanche excited to head home too.
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They all start to head to bed, but choose to enjoy the tree and
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evening a little more. Then Rose begins to sing, but is reminded of
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her past again, and the ladies head straight to bed. The next morning,
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Rose is running a desk at a crisis center. Dorothy and Blanche meet
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her to pick her up and head towards the airport, but she has them
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sit with some unsettling men during their breakdown to wait, one who's a pathological
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liar and the other who is an arsonist. As they're trying to leave,
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another Santa arrives, but he has a gun. The man is insistent on
16:29
not taking any money. But is there to enforce people to spend Christmas with
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him so he doesn't have to spend it alone. As he starts to settle
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in, Blanche devises a plan to overtake the man, but Dorothy is skeptical.
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The Santa Maang has gifts to give out, but Rose choos him out
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for misunderstanding the true meaning of Christmas, and then Sophia arrives. Dorothy quickly
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tells her to be careful because of the gun, but she grabs it out
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of the man's hand and points it out as a toy and quickly tells Dorothy
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she's not a real Italian for knowing the difference between a toy and a real
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peace. As the men start to realize their issues, doctor Escobar from the
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crisis center arrives and Rose quickly passes them off to him as the girls quickly
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flee to the airport. I've been sitting in the back seat the coff for
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half an hour. What am I a duc soun mah be carefully as a
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gun? Oh, this is a toy. He has been holding us hostage
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all this time with that toy gun. I can't believe it, neither can
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I, Dorothy, You call yourself an Italian. You can't tell the difference
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between a toy and a real piece. This is gifts. Dorothy looks like
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she's wearing I don't know. It's like a samurai cover from like ouch or
17:48
something. It's awful looking. The fashion in the LA eighties for older women
17:52
that were just like, yeah, fucking Blanche looks like she is, I
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don't know, trying to think winebacker. Nah, yeah, a little bit,
18:02
but like really shiny. I guess shiny linebacker not that be moron,
18:07
but a gay football player. Yeah, I mean they exist, so I
18:15
like because but I was like maybe, I was like, you know what
18:21
oxy moron is two things that are the opposite, right, So like Jumbo
18:27
joked land Well, I was like, I don't know. Every every one
18:33
have to throw one throw. That's fine, that's your batting record. Yeah,
18:41
yes, you have something contradicting. You don't agree with those stats.
18:48
It's like, hey, we just got done humping. Let me get a
18:51
quick pick. Like they're just like, I don't know, especially for the
18:56
eighties, I feel like that's really uh controversial. But didn't Madonna get in
19:02
a bunch of trouble for like a sex month and I don't know like how
19:03
explicit it was. But I don't know if they're doing full frontal dude nudity
19:07
dudy that. I don't know. Yeah, I mean it seems a bit
19:14
risky for like a sitcom. Oh my god. I was just like,
19:17
especially Sophia's comment, I was just like, Jesus, I mean, if
19:22
you're surprised, I think it's probably early season. They're like, they probably
19:26
cleaned it up towards the end of the year seasons. Maybe, I don't
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know. I don't want you know, it got I want to know,
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do we ever? We don't ever find out, but I would like to
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know what Dorothy and Sophia made because like, yeah, we don't know.
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Yeah, we get the homemade presence from Blanche and Rose. We get one
19:45
from Rose and then Blanches, right yeah, so I don't know. Yeah,
19:48
it seems strange. The pacing this episode is bizarre, Like I don't
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know, it's pushed a lot. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, too
19:57
much going on in this episode and all like honestly two different stories. Oh
20:02
yeah, very different right, So yeah, sorry, no, it's not
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I had a couple why is the tree by the front door that was a
20:15
really weird place to put the tree. Oh that's the uhane. No,
20:22
it was by the front door. It wasn't behind it, behind them,
20:27
it was it was by the front yeah, just past the landing, right,
20:33
yeah, just like that's a weird place to put a tree. So
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Blanche's pants when they're at the crisis Center, it looks like she's wearing like
20:44
a like they're really baggy around her area fuda yeah yeah, and it looks
20:52
like she's just wearing like a diaper. It's really weird, big old,
20:56
shiny yeah. Okay. Does it take place after September? What? Because?
21:06
Oh? Because the because the calendar? Yeah, October you mean oh
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oh oh oh I gotcha. Yeah. And then when Sophia comes in,
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does she say what am I a docsin? Yeah? Like being left Okay
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that's what I thought, But she said it weird, and I was like
21:33
what yeah? Yeah, yeah. I just felt like this is a like
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two completely different episodes pushed into one. Like it's so strange and like they
21:45
could have easily talked about like the loneliness of Christmas and the feelings you feel
21:51
like with those guys. You know, I wonder if I don't know,
21:56
is it Nora Ephron or whoever wrote Mixed Nuts gotten spy by this episode because
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the Mixed Nuts is about a crisis center during Christmas, which is interesting,
22:07
but yeah, and then it was like far too quick. Yeah, just
22:10
like, oh oh that's not real, let's go. We gotta go to
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the airport, right what Yeah? Right, like you think consequence, Yeah,
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exactly deadpan that Dorothy has though she might be the best TV deadpan of
22:22
all time. When yeah, Arsenal guy sits next to her and just staring
22:25
and then her slow look over. I laughed out loud. It was really
22:30
funny. I think she's great. She's so fucking funny. Yeah. I
22:33
love how sincere and sweet roses. She's so compassionate people. I just love
22:41
that. It's confusing to me that they went through this traumatic experience if getting
22:45
held up by a gun person, regardless if it's a toy or not,
22:49
and then there's like, well yeah, but I just love the compassion that
22:53
they have for these people. Yeah, like they could have. If I
22:57
were to rewrite this, I would get rid of the whole airport scene.
23:00
I would have been like, hey, yeah, hey, there's no tickets.
23:03
I don't know why. Let's go try to feel better. Let's go
23:06
to Rose's work and then see if we can feel better, and then I
23:08
have the episode focus on there. Probably. Yeah, there's just a lot
23:12
of places they're at, Like four places in a twenty minute episode. It
23:17
just seems like a lot. Yeah, the guy who's a pathological liar,
23:19
he plays the principal and growing pains, He's in a lot of things.
23:23
When I see him, he looks like, Yeah, I was like,
23:26
I think I know that person I love. I did like his line about
23:29
when he met the doctor and he's like, I'm from the Mayo Clinic,
23:32
like right after he said I'm gonna stop doing this. That's kind of good.
23:36
I did want to know what Santa brought like that his gifts. Yeah,
23:40
I was like, I would have taken one just yeah, I mean
23:42
you're already at that point. Why not. Yeah. Maybe it's like a
23:45
real metaphor of like you shouldn't need gifts because they we don't get to see
23:52
Sophia and Dorothy's gifts and we don't get to see this guy's gifts. Maybe
23:56
it's just like you don't need these for the you know. Yeah, but
24:00
guy's gonna take me hostage. And then be like, I'm gonna give you
24:03
a gift. I'm taking my gift. I want to know. Yeah,
24:07
and the gifts they did give have been fucking great so far. You got
24:11
a maple syrup spicett and then you also got like mid eight middle aged naked
24:15
dudes just going front. Because I've seen a lot of the girls that a
24:21
lot of the people that Blanche bring home brings home and uh, yeah,
24:26
I don't know. I just don't think i'd be like I want to see
24:29
that person. Yeah I would rocket. I mean, these are the best,
24:33
the best probably right, Like this isn't this isn't just any right,
24:37
yeah, anything else for the next groups scenes, I don't think. So.
24:44
I did think it was funny when she just grabs the gun. I
24:47
forgot that it was a fake gun when I watched it, I was like,
24:48
oh, yeah, just grab the gun. That's that's fucking funny because
24:52
she's so little. Also, stop him a momo's shoes, so she kind
24:55
of, you know, has that training already came out after but yeah,
25:00
she's preparing all right. Well, they make it to the airport just in
25:06
time and start to say they're goodbyes and board their planes, but due to
25:08
severe storms, all the flights have been canceled. Balance. Uh, excuse
25:15
me, this says balance. It auto corrected from Blanche. Blanche begins to
25:21
pout as a monk comes by to sell flowers. Sophia quickly chews them out
25:23
and sends them running. The ladies find a diner and escape the storm.
25:27
Blanche tells a story about a fling she had on Christmas Eve. She rambles
25:32
on Dorothy hasclaimed she could get herpes listening to this story. Yeah. The
25:37
waiter comes by to offer some cheesecake for free since it's Christmas. The waiter
25:41
limits he's having a rough Christmas too, working alone on Christmas Eve. The
25:45
girls relate not being able to see their families too. Rose relates saying they're
25:49
missing their families too, and the man is quick to point out that he
25:52
thought the ladies were family. Dorothy offers to stay and watch the diner while
25:56
the man sees his family. Begins to snow, and Rose turns on Christmas
26:00
music from the jukebox, which plays the Beach Boys. That's Jennendane. Uh
26:06
not the Beach Boys. Pretty sure it's the Beach Boys. At least it's
26:10
credited on IMDb. Are really? And then the ladies embrace. The ladies
26:18
embrace each other to enjoy their mess of a Christmas together. Ladies, Look,
26:26
I hate to see people just rank coffee is Christmas? Look? Please
26:29
have some cheesecake on me? All right, Well that's very sweet. Now
26:33
I know I'm depressed. I don't even want this cheesecake? Are you ladies
26:37
having a bad Christmas? I'm a little down myself. I mean it's tough
26:41
working on Christmas Eve. I wish I had a little time it's been with
26:45
my family. Oh, we know exactly how you feel. We can't be
26:48
with our families either. You all are not related. No, really,
26:52
the way you were teasing and talking to each other, I thought you were
26:56
family for sure. And that's something. Well, isn't it fun? Sometimes
27:03
it takes a total stranger to point out something that's been right there in front
27:07
of your face. We were feeling so sorry for ourselves. We forgot we
27:12
are celebrating Christmas with family. Merry Christmas, Roads, Merry Christmas, Flanch,
27:21
Merry Christmas, Dorothy, Merry Christmas, Blanche, Merry Christmas Road?
27:26
What the hell is this? The Waltons? All right, so it's either
27:33
I get around by the beach boys or I get around by Tupac. I
27:36
thought it was a surfing safari, and I thought no. And I thought
27:41
that surfing safari was Jan and Dean. I thought it was I get around
27:45
by Tupac. I'm going into that Tupac joke. We know you like Tupaca
27:56
hologram Tupac A God. I wish I would have just robbed the diner owners,
28:03
like what the take care of it? And then they're like, turn
28:07
out they're really racist and like a little bit of racism if like not funny.
28:14
I thought it was like they are two of them are related, but
28:18
that would have like taken away from like the sentimental aha moment. Actually we're
28:23
probably yeah, oh, that would have been kind of funny. So it's
28:26
like, well we're familymates. Yeah. I found it silly that they're all
28:33
boarding their planes at the exact same time. Yeah, like like four flights
28:36
to four different or three flights. That they are three different locations like late
28:40
to partying at the same time is not like a thing. Yeah, do
28:44
you remember going to the airport before nine to eleven? Though? How you
28:45
could just go to people's gates? Yeah? Crazy to think about. Yeah,
28:49
and nine to eleven ruined a lot for me. Yeah, such a
28:55
good movie. I love that. On the exterior shot it says roadside diner,
29:00
and then when they get in, he's like, it's Albert's diner.
29:03
That's not what that says. And then apparently that diner there was a trivia
29:07
fact that that diner still like exists. It's like a staple in New Jersey.
29:11
Oh now I want to go. Yeah. Oh cool. Interesting.
29:14
So he stayed open on Christmas Eve and giving away cheesecake, but then the
29:21
cheesecake is probably expiring or like about to go bad or something. Yeah,
29:26
they're probably not open on Christmas, so it's gotta go Christmas, Christmas,
29:30
Christmas. Oh okay, gotcha, gotcha? And only forty five less than
29:34
an hour is how long he's going to be gone. That's not enough time.
29:37
Well, also, no person would leave their diner to strangers. Yeah,
29:45
just shut it down anyways, I know. Yeah, Yeah, there's
29:49
four elderly women pre nine to eleven, I might you know. Yeah,
29:56
if you had to choose one group of people that you wouldn't with the dinner
30:00
too, who would be? Jeff, I'm not going to go there,
30:07
but it is weird, like he's open but nobody's there. And then the
30:11
only business he does get he just gives them food. This is like it's
30:17
a terrible storm. Nobody's coming out, like why yeah? And then yeah,
30:22
and then he's just like can well, the whole can you cook?
30:27
Was not? Okay? That well the monk too, right, So there's
30:32
the monk who looked like a white guy in brown face. I think,
30:36
yeah, did anybody catch that? Yeah? Okay, yeah yeah. And
30:41
then Rhea's talking about the comment that Sophia says when he asked if they if
30:45
they can cook? Yeah? What did you all think of that? Did
30:49
you not care? Oh? No, I don't know. I I don't
30:53
think. I think No, I'm not too much. I don't know.
30:57
I always say it is a bearer is a pigs ass pork is what I
31:03
always say. I just like there's an opportunity for like a silly line there
31:07
instead of just that, right, yeah, especially because Sophia is Catholic,
31:11
so like a like you could have made a pope joke, like a joke,
31:15
oh like a spice world is the Catholic? Yeah yeah, yeah,
31:21
Well I think part of it shows that one Sophia isn't racist because she's willing
31:25
to joke around the black people. I guess in the eighties I was like
31:27
a thing like hey, because even nowadays, when people say black, they
31:32
go, oh, yeah, my said dad, he's a he's a black
31:33
guy. Like why the fuck did you so quiet? Yeah? Really weird.
31:37
So especially in the eighties, I felt like if you're if you're willing
31:40
and you're able to joke black people, then it's like, oh, this
31:41
person is not racist. So I don't know what you man, I feel
31:45
like I can speak on this, but like she is out of the four
31:51
of them, probably the more progressive one out of them, Like she has
31:55
no problem with the she's the most enlightened about gay, she's the enlightened about
32:00
h AV she's enlightened about she has a black guy that she has love interest
32:04
in. Oh that is a really cool episode. Yeah. So but yeah,
32:07
like yeah, I agree with Rhya, like it would have been a
32:10
little bit more. You know, the public is a public Catholic or is
32:15
my daughter is my daughter single? Or you know that? Yes, yes,
32:20
yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was the best writing,
32:25
But for me personally, I didn't. I didn't but I'm also not black,
32:28
but I didn't find it like racist. But yeah, I think yeah,
32:31
if anything, maybe just it's like lazy. The whole episode feels kind
32:36
of lazy. It does. Yeah, so I definitely like the other holiday
32:42
episode better. The Yeah, every list I said, like every list I
32:45
read like this is the best Golden Girls Christmas episode. No, the other
32:49
one is way better. Huh they spend it. I'll swisch shelter go ahead.
32:54
And that one it's hard for me to watch just because the end it's
32:58
so long and it's like really slow motion, people like getting up out of
33:01
their bed. What's going on. I did forget a note though, because
33:06
earlier the pathological liar said he wrote Silent Night. Yes she was lying.
33:10
He was actually ran in an eighteen eighty by Franz Xavier Gruber and he was
33:15
in Austria, and I like that. His proof was he just sings the
33:19
first line. Yeah, everyone just takes it as face value. Some trivia.
33:28
The calendar was actually made by the prop department and it was pictures of
33:31
themselves. Oh nice and like semi nude erotic photos. That's amazing, And
33:37
so they signed a copy for the girls and then Rue mcclanahan's copy sold for
33:43
four thousand dollars after she died. What I would buy that, Yeah,
33:45
I would totally buy that now. Yeah. So it's raining at with two
33:52
minutes and eight seconds left in the episode, and then it's like you can
33:57
see that, you can see the rain. Yeah, and then it just
34:00
at one sixteen it's like snowing, and I'm just like, I don't think
34:04
it works like that. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah,
34:08
there wasn't even a mention of like it's like freezing out there, you know.
34:12
No, they said, like, you know, when they came in,
34:15
when they came into the diner, they were like, oh my god,
34:17
it's like never been so cold in Miami. I was kind of not
34:22
really excited about this episode. It just wasn't a good episode in my opinion.
34:28
Yeah, A good a bad episode of Golden Girls is like a good
34:34
like better than most things, that's true. You know, it's your dead
34:42
Miami was nineteen seventy seven based on my Google search, So that's pretty crazy.
34:46
Wow in Florida, And I was like, I don't remember whatever snowing.
34:50
Yeah, while you watch this episode though, it's stowed in nineteen eighty
34:53
six. That's true. They got to update this. Why was that fact
34:58
about New Jersey then if they're in Miami, the fact about the diner being
35:01
like, oh, because they just used the exterior shot of like a like
35:06
it was just an exterior shot of some diner. Yeah, we just filmed
35:09
it in like New York or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyways,
35:15
do you want to rate it? Yeah? Really quick? So the
35:17
average temperature in Miami in December seventy six. Yes, they would have to
35:23
fucking it's kind of weird, like I don't know phenomenon to make it snow
35:29
when it wasn't snowing before. You know, I don't know anything really about
35:31
Florida. Besides all the bad stuff is Florida if you take away all the
35:36
people, is it like Hawaii? Oh yeah, I love Florida. Okay,
35:38
so that's cool sides of people. Oh like every I like to know
35:43
the touristy spots. But it's just like anywhere, like you know, if
35:46
you're in like, uh, I don't know, I'm trying like some place
35:50
here in Oregon. Uh, you know, like if you're in Monmouth.
35:52
Yeah, it's gonna be a lot more right wing, you know it depends
35:53
where you go. So just like anywhere else, I guess big towns are
35:58
the mom that is the that I stopped on Facebook? Is it really?
36:04
Yeah? I live on Facebook to say Monments that okay, kicked out of
36:08
the groups. Someone's going to listen to this and then expose you. And
36:15
my goal is I know I told you this. My goal is, uh,
36:17
because got my dog Guscus Cuscus underscored the dog on Instagram plea. He
36:22
harasses the city of Monments, So I want to take that up a level
36:27
and eventually I want them to give him a key to the city. That
36:30
would be great. And just to like, you know, fuck like like
36:34
fuck you haters. You know I did this, you know I like it?
36:37
Yeah? All right? One two thirty four? Yet, what's a
36:45
cool fat? Podcast? In a podcast? What's a cool bas Sixty one
36:53
million people were using pagers in nineteen ninety four. In nineteen ninety three,
37:00
Touches was the first video game played in space, when a Russian astronaut took
37:04
a gamble Boy up to space. Podcast in a podcast, What's a cool
37:15
fac podcast? And a podcast? You're handy? What's a cool back?
37:36
All right? There we go. I love it Pep saves Man. I
37:40
like to do it randomly. I think, yeah, you should have been
37:45
in the middle of a review. If we have a we're gonna have a
37:52
guest and you're just gonna interrupt. They're gonna be like, what's happening?
37:59
All right? What do you want to this? Out of one hundred,
38:02
Okay, I'm gonna do Christmas stuff and I love Christmas, so it's not
38:07
gonna rank very high unfortunately, So out of all the Christmas shows I watch,
38:12
I'm probably gonna give it a forty four out of one hundred. Okay,
38:17
Jeffrey, I'm gonna say if I'm doing Christmas things, I would do
38:22
like a two out of five. But if I'm doing Golden Girls, I
38:28
would say, like, yeah, I guess two out of five. Two
38:34
stars is because there's there's some like fucking balls amazing like Golden Girls episodes,
38:39
and this one was like, yeah to watch it. But I'm not gonna
38:42
be like, oh, it's Christmas time, i gotta watch this episode.
38:44
Yeah, I'm saying you go straight Golden Girls. I'll probably go six out
38:46
of sixty. I'm gonna go sixty to high one hundred. I was hoping
38:52
when I was rewatching this. When I was rewatching I was I was thinking
38:55
that they were gonna do a flashback when Dorothy was talking, because I think
39:00
I love the flashbacks and the actress that plays Dorothy and the flashbacks is so
39:04
good. Yeah for playing Dorothy. Door door thing, wasn't it? She
39:07
goes, hey, Mom, do you remember in nineteen thirty two? No,
39:12
yeah, I do think there's some good jokes in this. But yeah,
39:16
Golden Girls. I'd rather watch Golden Girls than MASH. I know you're
39:20
a fan of MASH. I don't like MASH. I like Golden Girls by
39:22
the Mash. Yeah, Mash is something I watch when I want to fall
39:24
asleep because I just can't stand it. Yeah. Yeah, I would say
39:32
out of Golden Girls episodes, I would give this a one point five out
39:37
of five. Pretty low. Yeah, it's not. It's not my favorite.
39:42
I've seen it plenty of times because usually I'm an old lady, and
39:47
so I watched the Home Margin and they do marathons of the Golden Girls every
39:53
night, so that's how I spend my time, and so this one plays
39:59
all the time, like even not around the holidays. So if you if
40:04
you had to do all all TV. What would you rate it? Then?
40:09
Oohm, he's been around is like fifty five. That's that's as tall.
40:15
That's a tall it was a really tall order. I mean then I'm
40:19
then we're probably going lower. Yeah, point like seventy five. I mean,
40:24
if we're going since the beginning of television, then you're talking Matt Locke
40:29
and Perry Mason, and you're including we're including now television, so we're all
40:35
the Karashian spin offs, all of even like Black China, like all of
40:38
those spinoffs too, so well so then it might be better, you're right,
40:44
yeah, alright, so like one five there we go. All right,
40:50
you're heard here at first. It's Ria's favorite show, Pali. What
40:53
would you rate it? Just like us any standard television TV show, It's
40:59
like two out of five. It's not a great episode. I did laugh
41:01
a couple of times, but I don't know, I just like like I
41:07
was wondering, like what was even happening? And then yeah, I needed
41:12
more so I don't know any who it was. It was going too fast.
41:17
It was yeah, yeah, it's like one scene another thing, there's
41:21
no consequences, Okay, well yeah, and then they didn't even connect the
41:23
crisis Center thing with what they're doing going through, you know, So I
41:30
don't know. It was just like, h lazy, it's Chris, it's
41:32
Christmas time. What's your favorite like TV episode, Christmas TV episode of anything.
41:39
I'm gonna have to either go the hair on Old episode, Christmas episode
41:43
season one, or multiple Christmas episodes. Yeah. I think of the Simpsons.
41:49
I like March Not Be Proud. Yeah, that one's great. Yeah,
41:52
Hey, Arnold one that I watched last year. If it fucking slash
41:55
it's it is so good, not just for a haro Old episode or anything,
42:00
just as a like a TV show episode and a Christmas one, and
42:02
it's like pulls on your heart shrink. You're like, goddamn, it's great.
42:07
Yeah, Simpsons, because Simpsons was like appointment television when when I was
42:13
a kid in our household and especially like Halloween, and like it was very
42:16
distinct. There are some pretty good ones of Growing Pains, and maybe Growing
42:21
Panes could be a future episode because it's pretty fucking amazing. It has young
42:25
Leonardo DiCaprio, Kirk Cameron, I like the hottest homophobe, uh Alan Thick,
42:36
Tracy Gold, Matthew Perry's and a couple of its os. He died
42:38
spoiler, I thought, no, in real life he died. That's so
42:43
sad. I forgot about that. But no, Growing means is so good
42:47
though. It's a great theme song. What was the question, Oh Simpsons,
42:52
growing pains, growing pains g r O. I n as long as
42:59
we go, as long as we got growing pains. Grindings sucked as a
43:06
kid, though, like physical growing pains, like my ankles and my legs
43:08
were hurt. Remember that. The only episode I remember is Leo when there's
43:12
like another drifter kid and he's like, why no, it's not this card,
43:15
and I know it's not this card, so it has to be this
43:17
card. And the kid's like, well I thought you were cool, and
43:20
he's like not today. Motherfucker is awesome. He is. I love Leo.
43:23
Yeah, all right, so I would probably be a tie between the
43:31
Dean Martin Specials and then and then Jack Benny the Jack Benny Wants Christmas episode.
43:39
All right, Well, my favorite of all time is mister Bean,
43:44
Merry Christmas. Mister Bean. Oh so good. It's so fun. Anything
43:51
else we want to talk about for signing away? Yes, the Jesus the
43:57
t Rex at the end or the the negativity scene is so good. Oh
44:05
okay, I was thinking about the show. No, I just wish that
44:08
they had a different like I know that that more modern. They have women
44:13
of a certain age, like sex in the city and whatever, but it's
44:15
not It isn't cut from the same cheesecake as this. So I wish that
44:19
they would come out with representation of women in their later years. That's what
44:24
we should do, is like a retro reboot of this show sometime. But
44:29
they should really have another one of these. Do we want to take like
44:32
five minutes and pick one? Sure? Tell us the past. It's time
44:38
to recast. It's retro, all right? Who wants to Who should we
44:52
start with? Oh? Well, since we're talking about the Golden Girls,
44:58
let's do a retro rebook. Where do we want to start? Y'all?
45:02
Who feels like the most fitting place to start? Rose? Okay? I
45:08
feel like Dorothy and Sophia should be last. Rose. It is Andy?
45:14
Who'd you pick for Rose? So kind of Isn't it too far of a
45:16
stretch for this character because she did it for so long? But I think
45:20
Lisa Kudro could do a good Rose's kind of lovable. She seems nice.
45:23
Yeah, I think she'd be a great Rose. But if we're switching it
45:29
to man, it'd be John c Riley. Gold Guys, Golden guys.
45:37
You did extra credit? All right, Jeff? Who do you have a
45:42
Rose? I did Vicky Lawrence, So I thought that would be kind of
45:46
a good tie in. She's still alive, ruined. Yes, she's a
45:50
life and still foreman and stuff because of mama's family. And I think that
45:54
would be a good a good shoe win. And she's sweet. Yeah.
46:00
Yeah. I went with Penelope Wilton. She plays Isabelle Crawley in Downton Abbey.
46:07
So she plays Yeah, she plays the Maggie Smith nemesis, right,
46:15
yes, ye, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good
46:19
I can visually see that happening. She never got her doctor Dick, did
46:23
she because she was lusting after the doctor in the town. Oh? Did
46:29
they did? They ended up marrying in the movie, right? Yeah?
46:31
Oh? Did you see the movie? No? No, but I love
46:36
the series. That's so good. You see the movie? Yes? Yes?
46:42
For my Rose, I went with Loretta Devine. You might need to
46:45
google her because she's she's very common, but you might not be able to
46:47
place her. She's in Urban Legend, she's in for Color Girls, she's
46:53
in Uh, she was The Wife and the Pjs, which was one of
46:58
my favorite little animated series. But she's very sweet and yeah, that's a
47:07
really good one. Okay, let's do Blanche. Andy. I got Halle
47:13
Berry because even though she's like like getting up there, she's still insanely gorgeous.
47:16
I think it's gonna be the more flirtatious character. I think, you
47:21
know, Hally Barr would be great. And then if we're doing Golden Guys,
47:23
did Elba because he's super duper hot, so if he was in his
47:30
last get it. If I did Blanche. If for Blanche, would Jennifer
47:38
Coolidge? Man, Okay, she'd be great. She'd be so fucking good,
47:45
crazy, every single one, every role that you put Jennifer Coolidge,
47:49
and she works fucking amazing. She's a man treasure. There hasn't been one
47:54
that I've been like and then you just picture and it. Yeah, I'd
47:57
be wonderful. All right, all right, So for Blanche, I went
48:00
with Joanna Lumley and that is Patsy from ab Fab right now. Interesting.
48:09
Yeah, I just think she is such a horn dog and ab fab like
48:14
and she could just totally do that off. I mean it's basically that character,
48:17
all right. I chose Jeane Smart from Hacks Yeah in Mary Eastown.
48:27
I like her the house, which is super Yeah, but she's fun,
48:31
She's very pretty, so I think it'd be convincing. And yeah, all
48:37
right, good choices, Andy, Dorothy or Sophia. What do we want
48:39
to do? Let's do Dorothy? Okay, Dorothy? All right, So
48:43
for Dorothy a little more serious, But so I need someone like Laura Lenny.
48:46
I'm thinking for Dorothy it would be great just because I think she can
48:51
be serious. But I think she can also she's a good enough actress to
48:53
where she she wants to. She can, you know, pull off the
48:55
jokes. And then on the Golden Guys, I did Tom Hardy. Hardy's
49:01
forty six, so he's not like in the fifties yet. But yeah,
49:04
you know, it takes a little bit to actually produce the show. Maybe
49:06
in a few years. Is this another action sitcom you're doing? John c
49:12
Riley's the humorous role. I'm gonna say I don't really care for Laura Lennie.
49:19
I like Laura Lennie I didn't really know where from his Truman show,
49:21
And I'm like, okay, so here's the thing with Laura Lenny for me
49:25
after Ozark, I hate her like because she was so she was so good
49:30
playing that role that I do not like. Like I it's hard to turn
49:35
it off from hating her. It's like, and Lenny, one second,
49:38
who do I want? Oh? I just looked her up. That's Laura.
49:43
That'd be so good. It's your choice. I meant to Holly Hunkster.
49:49
Oh well yeah, yeah that's better. That's definitely better. Yeah,
49:53
I know, she's definitely like she's more. So it goes Mischelle Trackenberg all
50:00
the Hunter. Then then Kate Winslet like she I just cannot stand her stupid,
50:05
so good, terrible voice. Yeah all right, Jeffrey, Okay,
50:14
Dorothy, I'm gonna do Rosia Donald. Oh oh yeah, more her back
50:19
on TV. Huh yeah, more straight, lace, more very liberal,
50:22
very you know, New York accidents. Yeah yeah, cool, all right,
50:29
Ria, it's Dorothy for you. Olivia Coleman. Oh, I thought
50:32
we were gonna have the same one. Interesting, Okay, Olivia Coleman is
50:37
fucking fantastic. Yeah, I don't think I think she's too good for TV
50:42
sitcom but she's incredible. She was in sitcoms in in Britain. Yeah,
50:46
but she just wanted to Oscar. She's cute too. I like her.
50:53
I love and actually like it. Usually when there's like British chalk, I
50:57
just want to hold a gun to my head. But but I actually like's
51:00
list and it would be a toy gun. Well I am. I am
51:06
going British with mine. And that's Sarah Lancashire. Oh yeah. If folks
51:12
don't know where, you need to watch. Two series that she's involved in
51:16
that are very good. One is Happy Valley is a British series. She's
51:22
amazing in it, which and she's grumpy. She's a great Dorothy. And
51:27
then she's playing Julia Child right now in HBO series it's very good. What's
51:31
what's her name? I'm trying to google Sarah Lancashire. Oh, here we
51:37
go, okay, okay, yeah, I could see that being a Dorothy's
51:43
like a like a like a tired adele. That's my favorite description of her
51:52
ever. That's amazing. Uh all right, Andy, let's cap it off
51:59
with Sophie. Uh. I think Sophia is the funniest in the show.
52:01
So I wanted to give like a straight comedic actor this one. So I'm
52:06
going Jane Lynch. I loves funny. She's taller than Holly on her even
52:10
you know, Yeah, but that'd be funny. It's like opposite, right,
52:13
like all of a sudden, she's the tallest. Yeah, And I
52:15
think he's really good witty comebacks. And then for the dude, I'm gonna
52:17
give it to Jean Luke Picad what Yeah, I didn't watch her Golden Guys.
52:23
I like that. And then Tom Hardy played Picard and uh I was
52:28
it resurrections? Uh sear Trek movie and they looked so much alike when they
52:31
shaved the head. I was like, holy Fox, I think it'd be
52:34
a good father son. I love that. Yeah, that's cool. Okay,
52:37
so I kind of cheated on mine a little bit, but I'm gonna
52:40
go with it. Did you copy me? Yeah? Over Card, He's
52:45
like, I'm done with Starfla. I'm gonna just the hand up these like
52:46
old ladies. No, I'm gonna do Sophia Loren. She's still alive,
52:52
barely alive. Grumpy old man too, grum, grumpier old, grumpier,
52:58
old man bombshell. I think it would be fun dynamic between her and Rosie
53:05
told this book. Yeah, yeah, cool. She was alive when Mussolini
53:13
was chilling. Bad Musli has been coming up a lot lately. But no,
53:20
Sophia Lorna is gorgeous. Okay, yeah, no, yeah, guess
53:28
guess Maggie Smith. Yes, yes, I think that would be so great,
53:32
and I think her and Olivia Coleman would have great chemistry. So yeah,
53:37
that's cool. That's cool for my Sophia. I figured like a real
53:45
matriarch of comedy. Lily Tomlin. Yes, oh, I love these.
53:52
I'm gonna definitely my my vote is for Riez to get get started. So
53:57
let's produce this. Let's we'll do Golden Guys and Ria's Golden Girls. I
54:01
liked it. I'm six succeed into the British like that's what I think I'm
54:08
called, like Golden Age. And then it turns out they like kind of
54:12
lived near each other. It's like, well they won't they Well know,
54:17
do you think Maggie's mill still gets it gets it on? For sure?
54:22
Okay? I hope so I mean I would Yeah, all right, Well
54:31
that was a fun episode. Happy holidays to all of you. Uh,
54:37
we're going to try to sneak in one more Christmas episode before the year's end,
54:40
so pay stay tuned for something like that. Pay attention. Damn it,
54:45
that sounds less aggressive, so pay attention. But yeah, you know,
54:51
we're starting off the holidays with some golden girls. Not a bad way
54:52
to go. Yeah, Andy Promotions, Uh, just getting the first all
55:02
right, Jeffrey Averagers. Check it out. It's kinda kicking butt again.
55:07
We got it rolling. Check out the Averages podcast. I love that.
55:12
If you want to see pictures of my dog, Gus Gus, you can
55:15
look at him on Instagram at dust us Underscore the Dog and just pictures of
55:20
my dog, like looking at things and sometimes I copy and I you know,
55:23
it's just pictures of dog. So Gus the dog. Yah, I
55:29
never have anything. I am not as cool as y'all. Usually my fucking
55:34
dog. But he's so cool though. He's followed by Debbie Gibson, No
55:37
big deal, follow me on, follow me, follow me anywhere at l
55:45
J is gay, but Instagram is the best one best way to keep up
55:49
with me. If you're in Portland, if you're happen to be in Seattle
55:52
on December twenty seventh. I am going to be competing in a holiday roast
55:57
battle where I'll be playing a famous holiday character and roasting other famous holiday characters.
56:04
So it should be really fun. It's a comedy slash bar. Do
56:07
you know the character you're gonna be playing yet? That's so cool. They
56:13
want me to choose one, but I haven't decided. And also I want
56:15
to see who they were hoping for too. I was thinking about Ernest,
56:19
like Ernest saves Christmas and then just have like really like softball like insults like
56:23
booger lips and ship. I don't know, we'll see that, or maybe
56:28
Randy Quad's character from Christmas Vacation. I don't know, we'll see what you
56:36
could be, mister Bean. That would be interesting and I could pull that
56:39
one off. You'd be like a reindeer that's not a part of like the
56:43
the group, like like Denise, Like, oh, there's just Denise.
56:46
She's like a fucking kind make your own character. Yeah, Rudeolph Juliani,
56:53
Yeah, rude off Juliani. Yes, because he's like drunk, Yes,
57:00
because he's read all you it'd be great. Now, I want that.
57:05
Oh until next time. I'm Ali, I am Andy McClanahan, I'm chef,
57:19
SLURP, slurpa, Interesting Notable Nostalgia is a production of Big Door Prize
57:35
Media. You can find us links to our social pages and other podcasts on
57:38
the network at the Big Door Prize dot com slash podcast. This podcast is
57:44
produced by me Ali and edited by both myself and Andy. Our logo was
57:47
created by Aaron Udhock of uglyhawk dot com. If you can share with a
57:52
friend or leave us review for more focus and find us. Thanks for listening.
58:12
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