Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / BONUS: Get out of your own way today
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Good morning, my beautiful bins, and welcome to today's pep Talk.
- 0:04Speaker 1: So today's pep talk is all about getting out of
- 0:08Speaker 1: your own way today. What does it look like and
- 0:13Speaker 1: how can you do it? So getting in your own
- 0:15Speaker 1: way It can crop up in many areas of your
- 0:18Speaker 1: life and in different thought patterns. So for example, thinking
- 0:22Speaker 1: that a task is too hard, like you're telling yourself
- 0:25Speaker 1: that's in the way, too hard basket, so you don't
- 0:27Speaker 1: do it. Thinking that you need a full day of
- 0:30Speaker 1: time to dedicate yourself to something and you're not going
- 0:32Speaker 1: to do that thing until you've got the time. You
- 0:34Speaker 1: know that I don't have time for this until I
- 0:36Speaker 1: have a week off or whatever. That's getting your own way,
- 0:40Speaker 1: Thinking that you need more experience before you embark on something,
- 0:44Speaker 1: thinking that, oh, until I start, I have to be
- 0:47Speaker 1: at this high level of experience, So then you never
- 0:50Speaker 1: start because you're always doubting your level of experience, telling
- 0:53Speaker 1: yourself that you're not ready on something that you could
- 0:56Speaker 1: actually be already doing. Thinking that you have to be
- 0:59Speaker 1: good at something in order to try it for the
- 1:01Speaker 1: first time, telling yourself that your life will be over
- 1:05Speaker 1: if you get rejected, so that you don't put yourself
- 1:07Speaker 1: out there. All those things are examples of what getting
- 1:11Speaker 1: in your own way looks like. That is getting in
- 1:14Speaker 1: your own way. You're putting something in between you and
- 1:19Speaker 1: something you would like or something that you need to
- 1:23Speaker 1: help you grow. The main thing here is to try
- 1:28Speaker 1: to try your best to not engage in this chatter
- 1:31Speaker 1: in your mind. And it's definitely easier said than done,
- 1:34Speaker 1: but acknowledging that that's what you need to do is
- 1:38Speaker 1: the first step. What's happening here is that you're telling yourself.
- 1:41Speaker 1: You're basically cock blocking yourself, saying this is not possible
- 1:45Speaker 1: for XYZ or I'm not actually going to do that
- 1:48Speaker 1: for x y Z or stop the breaks are on. No,
- 1:52Speaker 1: you can't do that for whatever following reason that you
- 1:55Speaker 1: put in front of yourself. I won't be good at that,
- 1:58Speaker 1: so I'm not going to do it. I'm not ready
- 1:59Speaker 1: for that. I won't be accepted, i will be rejected.
- 2:02Speaker 1: I won't be able to handle that outcome that is
- 2:05Speaker 1: not for me because I've never done it before. And
- 2:08Speaker 1: then you are believing it. That's the worst part. You're
- 2:12Speaker 1: believing what you're saying, and this chatter is going to
- 2:15Speaker 1: happen and The reason it happens is because you've listened
- 2:19Speaker 1: to it so much in the past, and you've given
- 2:21Speaker 1: into it. And it's not an active thing that you're
- 2:23Speaker 1: doing on purpose. It's almost always this unconscious or subconscious
- 2:30Speaker 1: process that's happening, and it's based on a whole series
- 2:34Speaker 1: of events in your life that have led to this,
- 2:35Speaker 1: which I'm not going to go into because that will
- 2:37Speaker 1: take forever. But I can guarantee you right now that
- 2:39Speaker 1: you're not doing this on purpose. You're not thinking, oh,
- 2:41Speaker 1: I love shutting myself down. I fucking love blocking myself
- 2:45Speaker 1: from opportunities. Obviously it's not done on purpose. But the
- 2:48Speaker 1: reason this chatter gets so loud, and the reason you
- 2:50Speaker 1: become so efficient at getting in your own way is
- 2:54Speaker 1: because you have listened to that voice so much in
- 2:57Speaker 1: the past. So I want you to acknowledge that this
- 3:00Speaker 1: chat is going to happen. This self talk, this negative
- 3:03Speaker 1: self talk, is inevitable. At least right now, it's gonna happen.
- 3:06Speaker 1: Let's just accept it. I'm not going to get annoyed
- 3:08Speaker 1: at myself for having this talk. It is what it is.
- 3:11Speaker 1: It's there. Now, what are you going to do about it?
- 3:14Speaker 1: Step one, Notice If the only thing you do this
- 3:20Speaker 1: week is to just notice these thoughts and think, Aha,
- 3:24Speaker 1: there it is again, then you've made progress. Every time
- 3:27Speaker 1: it happens, then you are already every time you notice it,
- 3:31Speaker 1: then you're already one step ahead. You're already in a
- 3:34Speaker 1: position of seeing what needs to be addressed. You're no
- 3:37Speaker 1: longer in this unaware state and doing this thing subconsciously
- 3:41Speaker 1: on autopilot. At first, it will take a while for
- 3:45Speaker 1: you to notice it. It may be a few minutes,
- 3:47Speaker 1: or for some people even hours for you to be like,
- 3:49Speaker 1: wait a minute, I haven't paid attention. This has all
- 3:51Speaker 1: been subconscious. I haven't stopped and thought, okay, this is
- 3:55Speaker 1: what I'm saying to myself. No resistance, No I have
- 3:57Speaker 1: to stop, I have to say something different. Just notice,
- 4:01Speaker 1: and if you can write down the excuses you come
- 4:05Speaker 1: up with with why you can't do something, write it
- 4:07Speaker 1: all down. It's really good to have a bit of
- 4:09Speaker 1: an inventory in what it is that you say to yourself.
- 4:12Speaker 1: Not to expand on it, not to dwell on it,
- 4:14Speaker 1: but to look at what is going on inside your head.
- 4:17Speaker 1: So then you can start to understand why you do
- 4:20Speaker 1: the things you do and how to approach it differently.
- 4:22Speaker 1: So step one is to notice. Step two is to
- 4:26Speaker 1: learn how to debate with yourself. A good debater should
- 4:30Speaker 1: be able to argue both sides of the story. You're
- 4:32Speaker 1: already really good at arguing the negative side of things.
- 4:35Speaker 1: Let's try and debate for the positive. And this ties
- 4:38Speaker 1: in with step three. Step two and step three is
- 4:40Speaker 1: the same kind of I want you to find examples
- 4:44Speaker 1: of situations in your life that can be a counter
- 4:48Speaker 1: argument to you saying I need experience. When have you
- 4:51Speaker 1: done something in your life that you didn't need experience
- 4:54Speaker 1: for and it actually turned out to be fun, Like, Oh,
- 4:57Speaker 1: I wanted to try that random sport and I was
- 5:00Speaker 1: fucking terrible at it, but I had a great time
- 5:02Speaker 1: and that was fun and I learned to skill and
- 5:05Speaker 1: the next time I did it, I got better and
- 5:06Speaker 1: we just had a ball. There's a prime example that
- 5:09Speaker 1: you don't need to be experienced at every single thing
- 5:11Speaker 1: that you try. You know, so try and find examples.
- 5:15Speaker 1: If you can find examples in your own life, amazing.
- 5:18Speaker 1: If you don't have examples of your own life situation,
- 5:21Speaker 1: look at examples in other people. You don't have to
- 5:24Speaker 1: even know these people. They could be stories that you've
- 5:26Speaker 1: heard of, podcasts that you've listened to, life stories or
- 5:29Speaker 1: people's situations, or whatever it is that you think, well,
- 5:32Speaker 1: there's a primary example of someone that did what I
- 5:34Speaker 1: want to do, so it's obviously possible. Here I am
- 5:37Speaker 1: telling myself it's not possible, when in reality, that's not
- 5:39Speaker 1: the truth. The truth is it's possible. Will it work
- 5:43Speaker 1: for me? I don't know. I can't control every outcome,
- 5:45Speaker 1: but is it possible? Yes? It is, So start to
- 5:48Speaker 1: argue with yourself. Start to weaken these negative statements. You've
- 5:52Speaker 1: got to poke holes in your own negativity around your ability,
- 5:57Speaker 1: and then you start having less faith in those negative
- 5:59Speaker 1: statement it saying. You start thinking, oh, maybe I'm going
- 6:02Speaker 1: to put a bit of faith into my positive statements
- 6:06Speaker 1: about myself and see where that takes me. Instead, Step
- 6:09Speaker 1: four is to take the tiniest bit of action, even
- 6:13Speaker 1: if it's a much smaller version of what it is
- 6:16Speaker 1: that you're trying to do or what it is that
- 6:17Speaker 1: you would like to do, so it starts feeling really
- 6:20Speaker 1: normal for you to have that thing in your life,
- 6:23Speaker 1: and it starts feeling like a realistic outcome for you.
- 6:25Speaker 1: Instead of blocking yourself from getting that thing. So if
- 6:28Speaker 1: you want to quit your job because you really want
- 6:30Speaker 1: to get another job, but you're thinking, oh my god,
- 6:31Speaker 1: I don't have the experience. I haven't been in this
- 6:33Speaker 1: job for lo blahlahlahlahlah, all these things that you're saying,
- 6:36Speaker 1: why don't you just start putting together a CV. Why
- 6:39Speaker 1: don't you start just emailing some people? Go on you know,
- 6:42Speaker 1: go on a website and think, Okay, these jobs are available.
- 6:45Speaker 1: It won't hurt me to email them, won't help me
- 6:47Speaker 1: to send a CV that can't hurt. If someone asks
- 6:49Speaker 1: you to do an interview, who cares if you don't
- 6:51Speaker 1: even want the job, Go to the interview. Go to
- 6:53Speaker 1: the interview. You get comfortable interviewing, especially if you don't
- 6:57Speaker 1: have to have that job, because then there's less resistance,
- 6:59Speaker 1: you're more natural. You start putting yourself in positions where
- 7:02Speaker 1: you start thinking, this is realistic for me, This stuff
- 7:07Speaker 1: is available for me, and it doesn't have to be
- 7:10Speaker 1: you know, like I said, tiny tiny tasks that you
- 7:12Speaker 1: start putting into place that make it seem real or
- 7:16Speaker 1: make it impossible for you. So for today, that's what
- 7:19Speaker 1: I want you to do. Try to do step one today.
- 7:22Speaker 1: And if you're already at step one, where you're really
- 7:23Speaker 1: good at acknowledging and noticing. Then start to put in
- 7:27Speaker 1: some good arguments. Okay, that's your homework that I'm giving
- 7:30Speaker 1: you for today, so get out of your own way today.
- 7:34Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. I hope that was
- 7:36Speaker 1: good food for thought for whatever it is that you
- 7:38Speaker 1: are dealing with right now, whatever thoughts it is that
- 7:41Speaker 1: you are processing in your head today or at the moment.
- 7:45Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. Love you guys so much. Remember,
- 7:47Speaker 1: be kind to yourself, be kind to your brain. Don't
- 7:50Speaker 1: take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit from yourself.
- 7:53Speaker 1: Don't gold