Latest / The Psychic Explorer / What "No" Really Means in Mediumship (And Why It's Not a Failure) 🔮

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What "No" Really Means in Mediumship (And Why It's Not a Failure) 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:07
Hello, I'm Matt and I am a psychic medium, but
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it has taken me quite a while to feel comfortable
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saying that. In my podcast, I explore the up
0:17
and down journey of getting comfortable with
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my psychic and mediumship abilities. I will be
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talking with guests about their experiences whilst
0:26
turning the spotlight onto myself and figuring
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out how I can embrace my gifts while living a
0:31
normal life. So welcome to The Psychic Explorer.
0:50
Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome to this episode
0:53
of The Psychic Explorer. I hope you are well.
0:57
I am sat in my back bedroom on my laptop. headphones
1:02
on for the first solo episode since I got back
1:06
from Thailand. It's been a funny one and I know
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I said this in the introduction to my last episode
1:12
where I had my wonderful guest Dana Willey but
1:15
it has been a strange one. Lots of things in
1:18
life have gone up and down and I just need to
1:21
take some time out from the podcast because honestly
1:24
editing podcasts is a nightmare or at least I
1:28
find them so laborious. I said to you a few episodes
1:32
ago that I've got a slight issue with my speech.
1:34
I don't find it very easy to speak fluently.
1:38
So these episodes, when I record them, the vast
1:43
majority of it is me making mistakes or me repeating
1:47
phrases or sentences or even words. And it takes
1:50
me hours to edit it all into something that sounds
1:54
coherent and sounds fluid. Already, I've only
1:57
recorded, I think, what for about 30 seconds
2:00
worth of usable audio, and I'm already up to
2:04
two minutes on the counter. This gives you a
2:09
sample of the headache that I work with when
2:12
I record and when I edit these episodes. My other
2:15
half is pulling his hair out because I'm just
2:18
doing this constantly, but I have been recording.
2:21
guest episodes in batches to try and get them
2:24
out of the way so that they can just be released
2:27
automatically as we go forward into the summer.
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I would like to say a massive, I mean I could
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not say it more, but a massive thank you to everyone
2:39
who has commented, liked, followed, subscribed,
2:44
whatever the terminology is that you have done.
2:48
Thank you so much for letting me know. how much
2:51
you enjoyed Dana's episode. I have many people
2:55
message me telling me how inspirational and how
2:58
wonderful they found Dana's words. And I just
3:00
want to thank you. If you're a new subscriber,
3:03
if you are new listening to this, welcome along.
3:06
There are other episodes and I promise I will
3:08
try not to cry in this one. I cried in the Thailand
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episode. I think I should be good for today.
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But yeah, thank you. Just thank you. Thank you.
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Thank you. I couldn't say it more. During Dana's
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episode, she said that the word no was something
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that she was no longer afraid of. In fact, she
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welcomed it because she was saying that the word
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no, when you say that in a reading, it can actually
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bring you to more clarification. You remember
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I was saying to you that I feel this whole work
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is like psychic charades, charades, whatever,
3:44
that the images, the feelings that I get when
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I do these readings, I... have to interpret them.
3:52
If someone is giving me a newspaper for me that
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means that they are interested in current affairs
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and that is what I have said to a few sisters
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when I see in my mind's eye someone reading a
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newspaper straight away I say ah they were an
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intellectual or they were interested in the current
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affairs of the day and they look at me and they
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go no And that is when you want the ground to
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open and swallow you up. But then you sit with
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it, and that note lets you know that that's not
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quite right, but the image in your mind's eye
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does not go away. It's still a newspaper. So
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you think to yourself, OK, what else is a newspaper?
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It's black ink on white paper, or black and white,
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black and white, or that they're black and white.
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They're very black and white. So you say out
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loud. they were very matter of fact, they were
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black and white. Yes, they were, exactly. Right,
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and then suddenly the image of the newspaper
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goes out of your mind. You've moved on, and they're
4:54
giving you something else. And this is what I
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mean about the psychic charades. They give you
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these images, and they give you these feelings,
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but it is up to me, as the medium, to interpret
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what. they are trying to say with these images
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sometimes with these not audio but with these
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internal sounds that I can feel and these feelings
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and we all get them no matter how good you are
5:23
we all get them if you are a Tyler Henry I can
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guarantee you Tyler Henry gets nose at some point
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or at least he did I'll give it I'll give I'll
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say that much he would have at one stage And
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in today's episode, I'm not gonna make it super
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long, famous last words, but that is what I would
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like to touch upon. I would like to touch upon
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the word no and how we can go from that because
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I've had plenty of them. When I went to that
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first circle, we were told to ignore the nos
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and focus on the yeses. And that to me felt like
6:00
I was cheating because we can all get lucky hits.
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Again, as Daniel was saying, it's about the consistency.
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You know, we can all have flashing of power moments.
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We can all have moments where we make a lucky
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guess, but it's that consistency. And back then,
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it did feel to me that if we were ignoring the
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nos and just focused on the yeses, then we were
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cheating ourselves because we were only taking
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what worked. And for me, that didn't quite seem
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right with my validation experiment. You know,
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was I going to get this right? Was I going to
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get this wrong? Before Christmas, I was getting,
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I guess you could say I was getting a bit cocky.
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I had had some really good experiences, I was
6:40
doing some platform work, and I was really pleased
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with what I was saying when I was getting up
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in front of this hall full of people. the things
6:48
I was coming out with were being taken and I
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was getting, oh wow, yeah, I'm really good at
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this. And you again, harking back to a previous
6:55
episode, which at that time for me was a live
6:58
realization that, oh my God, actually I can do
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this. Like the self doubt is receding and the
7:04
confidence is replacing it. But I think with
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that also kind of grain of cockiness. and I always
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said that if I do this I don't want to get egotistical
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I don't want to get too sure of myself and I
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was conscious of that but also when you do get
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things right there's that buzz within you that's
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like oh my god oh my god oh my god this is actually
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working like something this is confirming that
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there is something else going on here and the
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reading was that I did as well I have to admit
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I have re -edited one of the episodes If you
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listen to this podcast before Christmas, you'll
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have heard me invite people on for readings.
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Now I had a few people take me up on that. Two,
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the readings went really well. I read for someone
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else, I fell flat on my face. I read for two
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sets of friends, I fell flat on my face. And
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I had a huge dip in my confidence. So now that
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I have relaunched the podcast, sorry, but honestly
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is the best policy, right? I have gone back and
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I have actually edited that part out because
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at the moment I don't want to put myself into
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that situation again. I'm more than happy to
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develop still and go to circles and all that
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lot, but putting myself out there publicly, I've
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had a taste of when things go wrong and I did
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not like it. It made me feel really fraudulent.
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And even though, you know, there were those two
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readings that went really well, it was the nose
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that stuck in my mind. And that being said, even
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those readings where I got a lot of nose, those
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sitters came away from those readings and they
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were glowing. Like a mutual friend made contact
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with me afterwards and said, Oh my God, did you
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do a reading for XYZ? They said it was amazing.
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You brought their friend through really well.
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And I was like, Oh God, really? I thought it
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was shocking. I thought I was really bad, but
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they were really happy with it. Like really happy
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with it. I have to remind myself that that is
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what matters just because my standards are ridiculously
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high. I have to remind myself. I am not a Tyler
9:19
Henry. I am not at that level yet. I am going
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to get nose. And just because I get the nose
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and I beat myself up does not mean the sitter
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is not getting something from it. Who am I to
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judge what piece of evidence is good enough for
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that sitter? It is the sitter's experience, not
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mine. So as I reflect on that, you know, nose
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can feel like a failure, but again, as Daniel
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was saying, nose are a good thing. They are an
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opportunity to learn for the future. It's something
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I need to do more of when I do readings and that
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is Take note of where the vibration is. When
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I'm saying something to a sitter, there's just
10:01
this feeling, and I'm going to call it the vibration.
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I'm not literally vibrating, but there is just
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this feeling that goes with it. And as I say
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something, the vibration within me, it sort of
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drops a bit. and you can feel when it's going
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to be a no whereas when it's going to be a yes
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there's almost excitement you know there's a
10:20
certainty but when you get that drop of vibration
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it's an opportunity to improve it's an opportunity
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to improve the interpretation and to build your
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library so that you can recognize when that vibration
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does drop when that feeling drops you think nah
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that doesn't feel right you can either stop yourself
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or you can try to lean into it some more The
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other thing that I've noticed is that when I
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start getting nos Invariably, I'll be saying
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all this stuff and suddenly the city will click
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their fingers and say oh You've got this person
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now and our backtrack and all the stuff that
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they've said no to for the original person that
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came through They can say yes for the person
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that they feel has now stepped in Now I as the
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medium have not recognized that another person
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has stepped in, that the original person I was
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channeling has stepped back and that somebody
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else has moved forward. That's all very well
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and good when you're doing a private reading
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but when you are up on platform that is not so
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easy because what could have happened is that
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again I don't have any control over this but
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for some reason whatever it might be The person
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that I am channeling has stepped back and the
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person that has moved forward is for another
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person entirely. So I'm still talking to this
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original person saying, can you take this? Can
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you take that? Suddenly over at the back of the
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room, someone's hands going up and saying, I
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can take that. Everything you're saying that
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they're saying no to, I understand. And you shifted,
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you've moved and you have to make your apologies
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and say, oh, okay, right, sorry. Apparently we've
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moved on. And of course you do that in a professional
12:12
way and you try and tie up that original reading
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as best you can before moving on to this new
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person. Another reason you might get nos is that
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the thing you are talking about has not happened
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yet. I've already said in an earlier episode
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about my friend that I gave my first psychic
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reading to. and she said that she couldn't take
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the lime that was all around her and actually
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it wasn't until a few months I think it was later
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where she realized her walls at work are all
12:40
lime green and she is surrounded by this lime
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green colour all the time. The most recent example
12:47
that I can think of is Tarot for this one. My
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friend Shelly Shearing, she was on episode 6,
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she does the YouTube videos, she does weekly
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YouTube videos according to your zodiac and She
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always gets it spot -on for me. It's always right
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even when it's not because when I watch the videos
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sometimes I watch my thing No, that's not quite
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right. No, that doesn't quite fit. I can guarantee
13:12
you within two or three days Something happens
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and I'm like, oh, yeah That's what she was talking
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about. Thank you very much There things that
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haven't happened yet Now, don't ask me to explain
13:24
the mechanics on how this works. I have not got
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a clue. I mean, is life preordained? Do we have
13:30
free will? I don't know. But sometimes the no's
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might just be because the thing you're talking
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about has not happened yet. There's also psychic
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amnesia. You know, when a sitter goes into a
13:43
reading, they're so nervous. They're so anxious
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about what you're going to be bringing through,
13:47
what you're going to say. Are you going to bring
13:49
through the right person? Are you going to say
13:50
the right thing? So when we do readings and we
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get that no, a lot of the time people will come
13:57
back and say, oh yeah, actually, the thing you
14:00
said about that, I can now take that because
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I now remember what you were talking about. The
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way that my first circle taught me to read and
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encouraged us to read, it was very structured.
14:14
You would feel into the gender. You'd feel into
14:16
whether it's a family member or a friend. You'd
14:19
do a body scan, see if they had any illnesses.
14:21
or feel like how they might have died. Never
14:24
ask any questions though. They always said don't
14:26
ask any questions because that leaves it open
14:29
to your mind to stepping in, which you know,
14:32
there is some validity in that. But whenever
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I felt like I needed just to clarify something,
14:38
it wasn't really discouraged, but you could tell
14:41
it wasn't part of the structure. And you can
14:44
clarify without getting information that feeds
14:47
you. I would never say, oh, how did your uncle
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die? I would say, I'm feeling your uncle died
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of X, Y and Z. Is that resonating with you? And
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then you get your yes or no. And if it's a yes,
15:00
then you can feel into that or move on. And if
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it's a no, you feel into it a bit more or go
15:06
back to that interpretation. But what I'm doing
15:08
in reading, and let's keep on the uncle theme
15:11
for the moment. If I'm feeling I have some sort
15:15
of uncle or a distant family member and they're
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saying no, and I'm getting caught up in this,
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ugh, okay, well what is it then? Because I know
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it's a family member, I know they're distant,
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and I'm getting caught up in my head saying,
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are they this, are they that, what was the relationship?
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By the time I've got to it, I have lost my connection,
15:34
I have lost my flow, and I have to get right
15:38
back into that moment. So to occasionally ask
15:42
a sitter to clarify something that allows that
15:45
connection to be kept or fully made, I think
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that's okay. As long as you're not doing it the
15:51
whole way through, and I know that if you are
15:54
a medium and you are listening to this and I'm
15:56
telling you all this stuff, when you're in the
15:58
moment, it is so easy to forget all this, to
16:01
panic, to get into your own head. And trust me,
16:05
I get it. I am there. I forget when I'm doing
16:07
a reading and I'm getting no, no, no's. Oh my
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God, it's the worst feeling ever. And all this
16:14
stuff that I have just said to you completely
16:17
vacates my brain. And when that happens, one
16:20
thing that I do do is use that as an opportunity
16:25
to use another tool. So where I'm sat here, I've
16:28
got all my tarot cards, my oracle cards all wrapped
16:32
up and in front of me. I did a reading when I
16:36
was doing an online circle a month or two ago,
16:40
and I have managed to make a connection to this
16:43
woman's mother, I think it was. I was trying
16:47
to describe her and it just wasn't flowing. It
16:50
just was not coming. I said to her, would you
16:53
mind if I pull a card just to help me along here?
16:55
She said no, of course not. So I pulled a deck
16:58
of cards I've got and they're called medicine
16:59
cards and on each of these cards there is an
17:02
animal. And around the animal there are images
17:05
of feathers, corals, rocks, loads of different
17:08
stuff just to try and inspire you. And the card
17:12
that I pulled was a dog. And straight away the
17:16
phrase, bark is worse than your bite, came to
17:19
my mind. And I just said it, I said, oh, would
17:22
you understand that mum's bark was much worse
17:25
than her bite? Like she was actually a bit of
17:26
a softy. And she's like, yes, that's her, yes.
17:32
So when you are stuck, use opportunity as a different
17:35
tool. It's much easier if you're doing a face
17:36
-to -face, private reading or sitting. If you're
17:40
on platform. I have thought about this if I just
17:44
take a deck of cards with me just play with them
17:45
while I'm doing a reading although that might
17:47
be a bit distracting But if you know if it helps
17:50
if it helps get a clearer message through then
17:52
I can't see why that would be a bad thing Of
17:56
course the other factor could be that you are
17:59
just having a bad day As I was reminded fairly
18:03
recently we are all human It is okay to have
18:09
an off day sometimes it just doesn't work sometimes
18:13
the connection just does not pick up sometimes
18:17
our days have been too busy sometimes our emotions
18:21
are all over the place we are living a physical
18:25
life and it's not easy so in those moments as
18:31
again I was reminded just say you know what I'm
18:34
off today let's rebook let's reschedule and come
18:38
back to it. I had that today. I met someone in
18:41
a bar and it came out that I do this and she
18:46
wanted a reading. It was a little while until
18:49
she did reach out to me because life happens
18:53
and that is absolutely fine. But this was just
18:56
the other day that I got her message and I messaged
19:00
her back and said happy to do it. Can we just
19:03
give it a week though? Because I am not in the
19:06
place at the moment to be able to give you a
19:08
good reading. And I recognise that within myself.
19:12
For me, person, there's a lot of stuff going
19:13
on. And I'm not going to go into that on this,
19:16
but there's a lot of stuff going on in the background
19:18
of life at the moment. And that is really distracting.
19:22
Really distracting. And I know I can feel my
19:26
connection to the other side has weakened. And
19:30
it will go back. it will. I just need to plug
19:32
back in, meditate more, be more mindful rather
19:37
than taking everything on and trying to get everything
19:40
done and taking on emotions that come with the
19:45
dynamics of relationships and family and all
19:48
that stuff. So I'm not in a good place to do
19:52
a reading at the moment and I said this to her,
19:54
I said would you mind if I just get back to you
19:57
in about a week or two and she's like yep. Absolutely
19:59
fine, not a problem and that is okay because
20:02
it is better to delay and get a good reading
20:05
than go for it now when you know you're not and
20:08
get a crappy reading. I'm going to draw this
20:11
to a conclusion now and just bring it back to
20:15
what I was saying at the beginning. Before Christmas
20:17
I was getting a bit cocky. Now I'm able to recognize
20:21
that. I'm able to recognize when the cockiness
20:25
is rearing its head and I'm able to remember.
20:29
The last time this happened, you fell flat on
20:32
your face. And no one likes anyone that is too
20:36
cocky and too sure of themselves either. So that's
20:38
a good check to have. Once you get past that,
20:42
it does teach you the resilience of no's. Again,
20:45
easy for me to say, not so easy to put into practice
20:50
and trust me, I know that. But it also shows
20:55
the reality of a reading. readings are not going
20:59
to be 100 % yes. We are not all Tyler Henry's.
21:04
The realities of readings do go up and down.
21:07
You might get a really good reading, but it might
21:09
be really slow and plodding. As you feel into
21:12
the energies, as you feel into the interpretations,
21:14
you can't just, I can't, not yet anyway, you
21:18
can't just say, it's not like, you know machine
21:23
gun fire of facts and figures from the other
21:26
side you've got to take that time to lean into
21:29
it to really feel what it is that you're getting
21:32
so you can make the most of it so that you can
21:35
try and get it right and you can make the most
21:37
of it for your sitter so i encourage you to celebrate
21:42
the nose they are part of the development they
21:46
are part of growing in this work and i may just
21:51
have to listen to this a few times myself just
21:55
so that that message goes in so that I recognize
21:59
that because again I'll say it one more time
22:02
it's easier said than done so on that note I
22:06
will love you and leave you lovely lovely people
22:09
I want to remind you that you can reach out to
22:14
me the .psychic .explorer Instagram Facebook
22:18
threads if you have any questions message me
22:22
I'm more than happy to interact with you on Instagram
22:25
more than happy to answer any questions on this
22:29
likewise if you have any experiences if you have
22:32
anything you want to contribute oh my god I would
22:35
love you to please and one person has I'm so
22:40
honored to be able to share this lovely Janice
22:43
has messaged me with a couple of poems that she
22:47
has been inspired to write In her message she
22:51
said, Hi Matt, this is a message that came to
22:55
me recently. I say that because I think they
22:57
were inspired by spirit. I know you're not totally
23:01
into angels and things like that. I'm not there
23:05
yet on that one Janice, yeah you're right. But
23:08
you know, that's something we can discuss in
23:10
a future episode maybe. But she goes on to say,
23:14
but please have a listen and let me know your
23:16
thoughts. So I want to leave you with this lovely
23:19
poem that Janice has sent me. It's called Be
23:22
Strong and it is beautiful. So on that note,
23:25
I will leave you with her words. I'm sending
23:28
you all my love. Take care, guys. Bye. whispering
23:46
sweet nothings into your listening ear. I see
23:49
you every morning. I see you every night. You'll
23:52
always be my shining star I gaze upon so bright.
23:56
You are my child of rainbows. You are my child
23:59
of light. And if you keep on walking, I know
24:02
you'll be alright. My hands are here to hold
24:05
you, and that they always will. Just follow in
24:07
my footsteps. Be love. Be strong. Be real. If
24:11
you should ever trip or fall, remember I'm here.
24:14
to catch you and protect you from any danger
24:16
near. For I'm your guardian angel with wings
24:20
spread far and wide. I knew my dear sweet soul
24:23
would have no need to fear or hide. So keep walking
24:26
down this path of life that lays beneath your
24:28
feet. Know the time beside you and one day we'll
24:32
surely meet.