Latest / DA CREW Podcast / Let the Healing Begin APOSTLES LEE & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS

Transcript

Let the Healing Begin APOSTLES LEE & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Advice, helping your healing walk in new life relationships, forgiveness,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: family and said real life challenges covered by Grace Truthfrey
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Lesson's Healing with It. Come to the table.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Let the healing begin, Let the truths probable.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: Marriage isn't always perfect, but healing is always possible. Welcome
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: to let the healing begin with your hosts, apostles Leep
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: and Kimberly Thomas. This podcast tackles real life issues with
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: raw truth and a powerful his and her perspective. We
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: talk marriage, we talk sex, we talk lost love and
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  Speaker 3: relational challenges. Couples don't always say out loud. If you're
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  Speaker 3: ready for honest dialogue, faith filled insight, and a practical
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  Speaker 3: wisdom that restores connection and strengthens your marriage, you're in
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  Speaker 3: the right place. Come journey with us as we let
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  Speaker 3: the healing begin.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Good evening and evening and welcome to let the healing begin.
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  Speaker 4: We are your hosts and Kimberly Thomas, and we are
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: so glad that you have joined us tonight or let
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  Speaker 4: the healing begin. We want to start off with a disclaimer. Tonight,
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: we do not we do not.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Believe that we have mastered this thing called marriage, nor
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  Speaker 2: do we have a patent on marriage. We know that
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  Speaker 2: we do have. We have a marriage, we have experience,
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  Speaker 2: we have years of experience, and we have a mandate
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  Speaker 2: from God to come before you and allow you to
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  Speaker 2: come in and share a little bit of our journey.
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  Speaker 4: As you journey in this thing called marriage throughout your life.
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  Speaker 4: So we are so glad that you have joined us here.
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  Speaker 4: Tonight we talk about real life issues. We talk about sex,
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  Speaker 4: we talk about marriage, we talk about love loss, and
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  Speaker 4: a lot of relational issues that most couples do.
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  Speaker 2: Not like to talk about.
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  Speaker 4: So tonight, as we journey, we are going to talk
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  Speaker 4: about the fact that the journey to wholeness is not
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  Speaker 4: It is not an automatic journey, and nor is.
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  Speaker 2: It a quick fix. The journey to wholeness is not
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  Speaker 2: quick fixed.
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  Speaker 4: So tonight, as we jump in, we're gonna talk about
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  Speaker 4: this particular subject because we know that there are many couples,
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  Speaker 4: many marriages that are struggling in this area because they
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  Speaker 4: are wanting to do the right thing. They are wanting
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  Speaker 4: to keep their vows holy and sacred, and they are
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  Speaker 4: trying to keep it all together. But there has been
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  Speaker 4: some type of brokenness, some type of broken communication maybe
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  Speaker 4: some emotional.
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  Speaker 2: Wounds that have not yet been healed.
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  Speaker 4: So tonight we're gonna talk about the fact that this
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  Speaker 4: journey to wholeness, it's not a quick fix.
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  Speaker 2: It's going to take time.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: And time, as they say, heals all wounds. That not
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  Speaker 4: that this thing will not go away, but it will lessen,
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  Speaker 4: things will get better over time if you allow it.
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  Speaker 5: And you said time heals all wounds. But the only
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  Speaker 5: way that can happen is if you allow it, you know.
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: And the thing of it is, sometimes we don't even
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  Speaker 5: realize that we don't allow it because we can't let
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: yesterday go. You know, we can live in the moment,
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: but we allow yesterday to stay there. And you can't
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: grow in the past. You can't do that because the
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: past is going to keep you right there in the past.
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  Speaker 5: So that means you're not moving forward, you're not going backwards,
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  Speaker 5: you're just staying stagnated in this one area of your life.
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  Speaker 5: And then doing so he or she is hindering the relationship.
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  Speaker 5: So tonight we're gonna talk about let the healing begain
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  Speaker 5: from past and just get it to the presence so
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  Speaker 5: we can go to the future.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, and that's So that's a great place for us
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  Speaker 4: to start tonight, the past, because, like you said, many
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  Speaker 4: couples he or he cannot allow the past to just
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  Speaker 4: be the past. And that is the biggest hindrance in
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  Speaker 4: a lot of relationships and a lot of marriages, because
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  Speaker 4: there are triggers, yes, that have not been healed. There
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  Speaker 4: are things, There are these wounds, these emotional wounds, these
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  Speaker 4: little tender spots that have not been healed from the past.
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  Speaker 4: And so with that you have individuals that all it
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  Speaker 4: takes is one little glimpse of something.
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  Speaker 2: That what used to be or what was it appears.
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  Speaker 4: But a lot of times the enemy will bring things
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  Speaker 4: before our eyes and try to make.
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  Speaker 2: Things to appear as if they are real.
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  Speaker 4: But the one thing that we have to realize is
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  Speaker 4: that that is the enemy's job. Because the enemy does
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  Speaker 4: not like unity. He does not want to see togetherness,
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  Speaker 4: He does not like marriage.
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  Speaker 2: He would rather we be apart. So what we have
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  Speaker 2: to do is we have to learn how to come together.
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  Speaker 4: The first thing that most no, the first thing that
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  Speaker 4: all married couples.
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  Speaker 2: Need to do is you need to learn to pray together.
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  Speaker 4: Because when you start praying together, it leaves less room
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  Speaker 4: for the enemy to come in and rick have it in.
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  Speaker 5: Your life and praying together. I like that, but let's
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  Speaker 5: just step back. That's the moment when you said the
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  Speaker 5: enemy comes in first and foremost. The enemy is not
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  Speaker 5: the enemy that you think. The inner me, Enermy, that
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  Speaker 5: inner me is what comes in because we haven't allowed
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  Speaker 5: ourselves to behold or free. You know, we can only live,
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  Speaker 5: like I said from the beginning, in the moment, you know,
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  Speaker 5: And if that's going to be the case, let's deal
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  Speaker 5: with the moments. Let's deal with the moment where we're
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  Speaker 5: doing good and the moment that we won't release. You know,
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  Speaker 5: I love you and it's supposed to be one hundred percent,
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  Speaker 5: but I can only give you seventy six for the
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  Speaker 5: simple fact that you know what. I'm not here, so
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  Speaker 5: therefore I can't trust you because I can't trust myself.
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  Speaker 5: I mean, let's just be real with it, because it's
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  Speaker 5: something on the inside of me, you know, like in
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  Speaker 5: some relationships, my mom went through this or my dad
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  Speaker 5: went through this, and I've seen this before. I'm not
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  Speaker 5: married to your mama and I'm not married to your daddy.
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  Speaker 5: I'm married to you, and it had to be something
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  Speaker 5: that was right about us. In order to get a
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: relationship to where you're my wife and I'm your husband situation,
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  Speaker 5: we got to understand that things are changing and evolving
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  Speaker 5: every day and we must change and evolved with it.
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  Speaker 5: You know, I used to listen to people tell me,
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  Speaker 5: you know, that's the type of relationship that you have.
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  Speaker 5: When I was with other people, y'all argue all the time.
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  Speaker 5: That's just your religion. That's not a relationship. That's a headache.
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  Speaker 5: If we love one another, then we should be able
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  Speaker 5: to talk to another. But we can agree to disagree agreeably,
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  Speaker 5: but then learn to listen. And I have paperback feelings.
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  Speaker 5: Hear my side, I'm gonna hear your side, and let's
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  Speaker 5: work through it together, because you know, yesterday I can't
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  Speaker 5: get yes. If you had a listen to about my past,
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  Speaker 5: we would have never been together, never, period, never, you know,
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  Speaker 5: because I had fun, I really really did. But you know,
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  Speaker 5: they had an old saying about if you got with
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  Speaker 5: someone that you love or you want to be with,
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  Speaker 5: oh you handpacked, And I laughed and I said, na,
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  Speaker 5: I ain't handpacked. I just got picked by the right hand.
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  Speaker 5: And that was my joke to them because you know,
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  Speaker 5: you talking, and evidently what you see I have is
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  Speaker 5: good that you desire. Here's the thing. When you get
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  Speaker 5: with somebody that you love being for men now that
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  Speaker 5: you love, everything else takes a back seat because this
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  Speaker 5: is where I want to be. But then at the
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  Speaker 5: same time, you, as a different individual, got to be
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  Speaker 5: in that same mindset so we can actually be moved
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  Speaker 5: or catapulted to the next level because we gotta let
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  Speaker 5: yesterday go so we can heal, create memories, dig in ruths,
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  Speaker 5: and go forward.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know, like you said, I'm not married
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  Speaker 4: to your family, and a lot of times what happens
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  Speaker 4: is we allow our family's voices to be louder in
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  Speaker 4: our relationships than they ought to be.
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  Speaker 2: Actually, they should be silent because they should not.
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  Speaker 4: Have any bearing or any influence on your marriage, on
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  Speaker 4: your relationship because of the simple fact that, oh, well,
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  Speaker 4: my sister or my brother they went through this and
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  Speaker 4: I saw this happen in their relationship, So I'm not
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  Speaker 4: gonna allow you to have I'm not gonna allow this
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  Speaker 4: to happen to me or you know, I witness X
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  Speaker 4: y Z go through this and I'm not going through
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  Speaker 4: this with you. But what we have to realize is
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  Speaker 4: that that is them and their stuff, that's them and
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  Speaker 4: their marriage, and what one person will allow, another person won't.
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  Speaker 4: And so you have to understand that we are different,
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  Speaker 4: We are different individuals, and there are things that our
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  Speaker 4: family members may have put up with that we will
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  Speaker 4: not tolerate. There are things that we may put up
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  Speaker 4: with that our family members would never tolerate. So what
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  Speaker 4: you have to understand is that when you make a
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  Speaker 4: vow to your spouse, man or woman, the Bible tells
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  Speaker 4: us that we leave our mother and our father and
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  Speaker 4: we cleave to the one that we have made that
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  Speaker 4: vow with.
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  Speaker 2: And so that means that those voices no longer have
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  Speaker 2: influence in our life.
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  Speaker 4: As far as our marriage is concerned. You cannot come
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  Speaker 4: and tell me how to be married to my husband.
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  Speaker 4: You cannot tell me that. You cannot tell me what
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  Speaker 4: my marriage should look like based on your broken marriages
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  Speaker 4: a lot of times, or your fail marriage a lot
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  Speaker 4: of times, or.
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  Speaker 2: Your numerous divorces a lot of times.
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  Speaker 4: And that's what happens because many people, they will come
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  Speaker 4: and they want to basically interject what happened in their
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  Speaker 4: life into your life and into your marriage, especially when
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  Speaker 4: they see that you're happy and then they take a
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  Speaker 4: glimpse of something that their spouse or ex spouse may
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  Speaker 4: have done to them, and they still carry those open
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  Speaker 4: wounds from those open relationships and marriages, and they see
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  Speaker 4: a glimpse of it something that is not even what
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  Speaker 4: they think that it may be your relationship.
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  Speaker 5: So it is what it is. So we're gonna work
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  Speaker 5: with what we have. You know, your relationship is not mine.
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  Speaker 5: I married you, you married me, so this is ours
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  Speaker 5: and we're building on that foundation right there. And that's
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  Speaker 5: the key. A lot of times in marriage, you know,
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  Speaker 5: people don't get counseling because they don't want those old
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  Speaker 5: wounds to be opened up, you know. And then here's
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  Speaker 5: the thing. Even in counseling, people don't always tell the truth.
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  Speaker 5: They tell a portion of the truth. So how can
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  Speaker 5: you yet be healed if you didn't tell this part?
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: Because you'll tell enough the whey it sounds really good,
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  Speaker 5: and you've opened up and you were released all this
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  Speaker 5: right here, but you're keeping that little nugget over there
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  Speaker 5: in the corner, and then all of a sudden, years
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  Speaker 5: down the line disappears that you didn't say that, and
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  Speaker 5: then I wouldn't have got with you. I wouldn't have
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: beg because if you have said that, it had been
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: over from the beginning it when you love that person.
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  Speaker 5: The thing of it is is just hurt because you
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  Speaker 5: know what, you didn't have to lie. You're over twelve
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  Speaker 5: in your past twenty one, tell the truth, you know,
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  Speaker 5: tell me what your issue is now. When my wife
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: and I got together, it was conversation. We read a
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  Speaker 5: lot together. I did most of the listening because I
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: don't like this holding a book that long, but I
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  Speaker 5: like to know what the book said. So we was
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  Speaker 5: good on that point. So that was another common ground
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  Speaker 5: for us. We spoke about the things that we wanted
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  Speaker 5: together and our future, and we created a plan. Trust me,
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  Speaker 5: it didn't always go the way we planned it, period,
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  Speaker 5: because you know, there are people who are assigned to
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  Speaker 5: you to bring the vision in your relationship if you
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  Speaker 5: allow it. Yes, And the thing of it is, it's
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  Speaker 5: always something that they can bring that's gonna sound so
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  Speaker 5: good and juicy that this just has to be it,
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  Speaker 5: and it isn't, because you know what, sometimes people can
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  Speaker 5: see what your future you're gonna be, and you know
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: what that's supposed to be me. No, it's not. Not
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: not married to her, not you. So therefore you know
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: they can the enemy talking about the other one. Now
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  Speaker 5: it's so cunning. He's subtle. Then suddenly here it is,
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: because he begins to drop nuggets in your ears, little
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  Speaker 5: by little by little by little. I mean, it's so
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: minute to you, you don't even see it. It's just
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: like whenever you move in your house. I'm gonna put
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: this down right here, and all of a sudden, a
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: year later, it's still there. But look at all the
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: stuff that's accumulated on the top of it because I
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: didn't keep it clean. I kept piling stuff on top
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  Speaker 5: of them.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: Now that is that's that's a whole mouthful. And the
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  Speaker 2: thing is you have to you really do have to
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  Speaker 2: be open to receive it.
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  Speaker 4: And the thing what really is intriguing about what you said,
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  Speaker 4: because as you were talking, it made me think about
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  Speaker 4: so many times. You know, as you said, people will
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  Speaker 4: see you and they'll see that you're happy, they'll see that.
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  Speaker 2: You know you've gone on, you moved on, and.
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  Speaker 4: The first thing that they want to do is they
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: want to bring up your past. Oh, oh, you know,
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: we get this a lot when we're together. You know,
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: people are welcome, Hey, how you doing, And they'll say, oh, well,
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: you and so and so still together, y'all, y'all married?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 2: How many kids see y'all have together? And I'm standing.
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  Speaker 4: There smiling because his response is, I was never married
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: to them. This is my wife. This is the only
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: person that I've ever been married to. And so, you know,
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  Speaker 4: a lot of times people do it trying to be fun. Yes,
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  Speaker 4: and I laugh with you because you're a clown, and
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: I've been stopped going to the circus. But the thing
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: about it is, you know, people do things to try
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: to get a rise out of others. We have had
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: individuals that have people from my past and they have
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  Speaker 4: seen us, and you know, we still I'm cordial with
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  Speaker 4: anybody that I've ever dated.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, how you doing.
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  Speaker 4: We still smile, we laugh, whatever, and it's no secret.
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  Speaker 4: And see that's the problem because we carry too many secrets.
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  Speaker 4: And so if if I had an issue with where
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: I stood in my position in his life, when someone
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: comes up and they just blurt out, all these days,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: oh you're still married to this person, You're still married
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: to that person.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Or oh I saw so and so you know, I
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  Speaker 2: thought y'all were still together.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: Blah blah blah. You know, when we got away from
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: that person, it would be a whole lot of drama
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: if I didn't know who I was, if I didn't
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: know my place in my marriage, and so many people don't.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: So many people take things like that to heart. It's
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: funny because we were actually in Sam's about two weeks ago.
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  Speaker 2: And there was this female in there.
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  Speaker 4: Both of us know her, but she was connected to
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: a former relationship.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: That he was in, and so I spoke and she
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: act like she was like kind of oblivious to me
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: even saying hello. So I'm like hey, and she just
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: like and went on her way.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: But then as soon as I've been in the corner
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: and he goes another corner, she has a whole.
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  Speaker 2: Full fledged conversation. And so I'm like.
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  Speaker 4: Laughing because I said, you know, people, you don't have
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: to do that. When you see somebody that you know
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: from somebody's past, just speak, just talk. You know, it
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  Speaker 4: makes you look very immature, first of all, because that's
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: the past.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: We're right now in twenty twenty six.
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  Speaker 4: We're not back in the six in the eighties or whatever.
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  Speaker 2: We're not back there.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: We're in twenty twenty six, and as Lee stated, if
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: you're over twelve and twenty one twenty one, listen, be grown,
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: be grown. And that's what causes problems in people's marriages,
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: especially for people that are insecure.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: That's the key.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: When you're insecure and you don't know your place in
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: your marriage, that you allowed that little silliness to cause
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: you to walk around not speaking to your husband or
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: your wife for days on end, calling up stuff that
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: is not even in existence.
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  Speaker 2: You'll be saying, oh, well, you must still be.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Dealing with them because they wouldn't even speak when I
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: was around. Baby, I don't care, I don't care. And
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: that's how you have to be. You have to be
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: to the point to where you are so secure in
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: who you are, first of all as an individual and
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: where you stand in your marriage. When you know that
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: you and your spouse have taken vows, your vowels are
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: sacred to you. You have not stepped outside of your vowels.
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: He has not stepped outside of his vowels, and whatever
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: happened in the past was the past, because we all.
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: Have one exactly. The thing of it is, you know,
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: you have to be the whole kid is being grown.
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: You know, say what you gotta say, you know, and
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: here's the key. If you say exactly what you have
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: to say, be true, but to our self, be truth,
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: and on a lot of yourself to tell the whole truth.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: Get it off your chest. Pressure busses a pipe, yes,
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: and it'll have your head thumping if you're holding all
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: that on the inside. Don't hold nothing in reserve, waiting
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: for the shoe to drop, because I may say something
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: that reminds you of what it used to be somewhere else.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: Understand that people not own none of that no more.
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: You know, life is changing every day. It used to
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: be the kids bury their parents, not the parents burying
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: the kids and the grandkids. You shouldn't have time to
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: be worried about stupidity. You know. We together, come home now,
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: let's be together, Let's be one hundred. Let's show the
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: world that it's you and I. We're that power couple,
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: you know, and it's not about them. It's about what
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: we have and what God has allowed us to create together.
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: You know. Stop. One, if you married, why are you
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: hanging out with an unmarried woman or man? Two? We
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: shouldn't have nothing to talk about. We've been friends forever
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: in the day. Okay, that's cool. But I have a wife,
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: you have a husband. Be round people that has the
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: same thing. You have our family something going on. You know,
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: we have some of the same issues. But an issue
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: is what you allow it to be. But I can
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: talk to you. Yeah, my brother, it was a little
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: rough on me this week. Okay, you can understand that,
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: because that's what life is. A life be life. But
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: then why would I talk to a man that's free
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: and all. I'm like, oh no, bro, I ain't trying. Man,
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't have none of that. And you right, because
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: you don't have it.
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: That is so true, and that is one of one
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: of the one of the major issues with young couples
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: that we have seen is that they do not under
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: stand marriage.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: And a lot of it is because they just jumped
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: into a marriage.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: No counseling, no nothing. Hey, let's just get married. Beyonce
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: say you better put a ring on it. So they're like, okay,
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: you better.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Put a ring on it. Let's get married.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: No foundation, and your foundation and your marriage should be Christ.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: That's the first thing you should go to Christ because
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: marriage is ordained by him. So that's the first step
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: is making sure that you have a foundation in him.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: And then you have to understand that your friends that
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: are unmarried.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Those should not be your counselors.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: Those should not be your confidence.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Those should not be the people that when you and
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: your wife have an issue, that you are running to
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: them for advice.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: What advice can somebody who has never had a marriage
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: give you?
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: You know, we have a common friend that always makes
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: is so simple for us. If you ask somebody how
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: to get to Monticello, if they have never been, they
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: can't tell you how to go there. So the thing
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: is a person that has never been married, a person
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: that has no wife, what can they tell a person
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: that has a wife, a person that has no husband,
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: never had a husband, what can they tell a person
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: that has a husband. That is not the person that
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: you need to be looking to for your advice, even
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: if they are a family member. If they are a
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: family member and they don't fall in that same category
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: with a husband or a.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Wife, that is not the person that you should be
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: seeking your counsel from because of the simple fact. And
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: then too, when you have individuals that have had marriages,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: but their marriages were a total wreck. You would have
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: to be careful about even receiving advice from those individuals
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: was because they are a lot of people have a
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: lot of emotional wounds that have not been healed, They
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: have not been delivered from things. So the thing that
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: they will do is they will pour out all their.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: Venom on you and begin to contaminate you things that
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: you may have never even thought of or even imagine
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: happening in your marriage. They will say it so convincingly
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: until when you walk away from that conversation you are
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: just like, whoa, yeah he doing that, Yeah, she doing that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: Oh I know they are because you know so and
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: so said that this is what that looks like. And
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: I've been seeing that and I know that that's no.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: No, no, don't do that.
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: In the midst of all that, you gotta realize first
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: and foremost hurt people hurt other people. Yeah, I don't
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: have it, so I don't want you to have it either.
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: You know, it didn't work for me, and we just
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: like when you used to be there, so we need
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: to do this. But it's amazing how in the event
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: that you allow that to happen and they find somebody
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: else they drop you like a bad habit, a real
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: bad habit, you know, So sit on and talk, talk
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: to each other. And then before you even do that,
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: take a self inventory of your own self, you know,
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: because we have an uncannon ability of talking about fix her,
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: fix him, Lord, please fix me. See when I get fixed,
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: then everything else can fall in line like it's supposed to.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: If the head is in order, everything else should fall
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: in place. But if I'm not in order and I'm
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: not fixed, how I expect you to be fixed? Because
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: you know what I see you, you see me. I
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: know you and you know me. The world don't know
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: what we know about each other. So on the outside
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: it looks so good. But yeah, you did this, that
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: and the third. But right here it looks wonderful. Yes,
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: but it's not wonderful because you lying to yourself. See
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: the thing about it. When people see you, they're like, oh,
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: it's all good, it's all good, But it ain't good
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: because one you're lying to yourself. Stop lying. Just tell
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: the whole truth. Look, I don't like this, I really
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: don't like that. I don't want this, and I can't
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: stand that. Yes, you know, And then here's the thing, y'all,
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: that we've been holding it in all these years, So
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: what let it go? You cannot heal holding on to
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: what you really don't like, Well, you've been doing it
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: this way all these years, or I might as well.
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: I know, you might as well have a headache all
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: the time. Because here's the thing. You're not being true
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: to them. You're not being true to yourself. So you're
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: being unfair. So how can they stop doing what you
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: don't desire? If they don't know? They gonna get mad
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: when you tell them the truth, because you're allowed to
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: go on so long. But just tell the truth now.
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: It's out there, is in the open. Lookain now the
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: scavengement torew but some air hitting it now and it
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: begins to heal. Time heals all wounds. But you gotta
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: want that wound to be healed. And once you start
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: with your own in ourself, then you can move further,
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: you know, because some people even desire to be with
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: someone else and stuff like that. You know. But we're
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: trying to hold onto what we got, what you got,
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: you're living a lot. I don't lie to you. Tell
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: yourself the whole truth. See we as a people of
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: color that I've been studying. We will hold on the
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: stuff because you know what, I don't want to lose
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: all of what I had. And we built this and
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: we built that. But then you in misery with it.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: God don't want you that way. You know what you desire,
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: Talk to the Lord about it. Lord fixed me so
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: I can move on further. And then before you go
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: blurting out stuff that people take the time to think,
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: so you don't just come so vulgar, so harsh. But
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: at the same time, tell the whole truth.
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: Right, the whole truth, not your truth, because that's a
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: lot that we we do will tell our truth, and
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: a lot of time our truth is just that you know,
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: you're gonna tell that little part, that part that is
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: going to make the person feel good, or that part
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: that's not going to upset them, and all of that.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: But the thing that we have to realize is that
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: when we don't tell the whole truth, we are not
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: only a disservice to ourselves but also to the person.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: That we are in covenant.
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: That's it.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: That because when we become mayor, we're in covenant, and
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: so as to become one, and we're in covenant, that
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: means that I vouch to tell the truth, and sometimes
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: truth is going to hurt because truth is offensive. A
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: lot of times you don't want to tell the truth
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: because you don't want to hurt that person's feelings or
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: you know, this is that's something that they really like,
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: and you know, maybe I'll just keep going alone to
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: get along. But when you go alone to get along, you're.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Miserable and they're happy.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: So you have to understand that there comes a point
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: in time in your life when you just have to say, look,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: I don't like that.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do that.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: There are a lot of things that I like to
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: do that Lee may not like to do, but he'll
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: go and do them because I like to do them.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: But then there comes a point in time when I say, hey,
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: I want to do X, Y and Z, and be like, no,
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: I don't want to do that.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: So I have to I have to first of.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: All, accept what he is saying, because he is an individual.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: He has his own individual fears, feels.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: He knows what he does and does not want to do,
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: so I can't be well, well, you got to.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Know, no, he does not, and it's vice versa. There
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: are things that.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: He wants to do and I may not want to
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: do that and be like, hey, well you know I'm
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: going hear this that place, so whatever, let's do this.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, I don't want to do that. And
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: you have to be mature enough in your marriage.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: To be able to say that and not be in
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: your feelings when the other person say no, I.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: Don't want to do that or no, I don't like that,
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: because the thing is, as he stated, we'll let things
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: go on for a long time and not say anything,
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: and then one day it's just the day. It's just
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: that day, and here they come and they say something
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: or they do something, and you let.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: All the cats out the bag, not all the.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: Cats, every single one of them, Ali Can the black
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: cast and you let them all out the bag, and
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: they're looking at you like, what in the world just happened?
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: Because we've been doing this like this for years and
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: you never said anything. What is wrong with you today?
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: And then you're like, well, I never liked it from
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: day one. I just put up with it.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: And da da da da da da dad.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: That's that part about being fair exactly. That's not being
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: fair to them because it was all good. So how
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: did this all of a sudden come up like this.
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: Now I'm hurt and I'm feeling that because now I'm
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: deeping my feelings because if you didn't like this, what
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: else didn't you like? So you really just went along
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: to get you. You went along to get along to
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: keep me quiet? No, after all that, get up with
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: think about the maturity level now, because you know what
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: when something, when your mate tell you I don't want
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: to go, you get in your feelings because I want
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: you to go because I asked you. But you know what,
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: get out your feelings to be gone. Go ahead on
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: because while you're going over there, I'm going over here,
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: not just because you didn't know. I'm going where I
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: want to go, simple as that. And it's not a
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: tit for tat tat thing, And it's not about that.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: And that's what we have to understand. We don't play
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: tit for tat just because you went over here. So
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: you went over there and I didn't want to do that,
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: So I'm gonna go over here and I'm gonna do this.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: It's not a tit for tat thing.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: The thing that we have to understand that no has
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: an anointing on it.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: And I am free to say no and not feel
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: any kind of way.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: I don't have to feel no, no pressure for saying no.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: We can't be yes, yes, yes all the time because
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: we're not always yes. There are sometimes that no is
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: just no.
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: No is an answer to you.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Exactly, and it is annointed when I don't want to
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: do it, and it's just that simple.
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: And the thing of it is, you know, sometimes we
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: hide behind these masks, you know, thinking, oh, I don't
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: want her mad. I don't and if I don't go
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: and be with that, she's gonna be mad or he
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: gonna get upset. Because okay, if you all like that
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: right there, you're just gonna have to be upset. You
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: got some bad issues. Because you know what, it's not
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: that I ain't I'm not going to go somewhere else.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: Sometimes I really just want to be home, lay on
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: my couch, watch the TV and do nothing. And I'm
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: grown enough to do just that nothing, because I choose
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: to learn to create memories together and do things together.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: You know, you have to reach back and remember the
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: times whenever you first got together and all the little
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: things you did, because here it is sometimes you have
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: to remember just do it just because you know I
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: was thinking about you. I saw that and I just
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: did it. Don't let me have to ask you. Just
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: just do it exactly. Just do it now. And then
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: when you don't look for nothing in return, just do it.
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: You know, I know that they were like that, and
• 34:07
  Speaker 5: you know what, I'm gonna do that and keep it moving.
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: And then here's the thing, guys, don't look for this
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: great accolade because you did with your heart saying you
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: it's in your heart. Look at it because she may
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: not say that to day, may not say that next week,
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden you see it and
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: then you think, wow, she didn't even say that, but
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: oh you, oh you like that. Yeah I did. I
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: just you know, I'm not a robot. You did it.
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: I love you for it. And if we together, it's
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: cool because it'll come up because one thing about it,
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: she does the same thing for you. We're not perfect,
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: neither one of us. We live in an unperfect world,
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: but we're perfect together. We're better together.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: And you know, one of.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: The things that we have to also think about is
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: that we were raised different.
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: That that's what we were raised different.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: And so you know, as Lee said, you may give
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: me a gift, and I may say thank you, and
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: that's the only reaction you get.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: You don't get the.
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: Don't get all that.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: You get a simple thank you and I go on.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: You may catch me admiring the gift later on and I'm.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: In the mirror and I'm like, oh, yeah, he did that,
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: but that's me. You may not get that reaction.
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: Sometimes we get in our feelings because we were raised
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: a certain way and we expect others to act like
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: we want them to act. So, you know, it's like
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: I remember being transparent. I remember Lee got me something
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: and it was beautiful and I appreciate it and I'm like,
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: thank you. And he asked me about it and I
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I like it, thank you. And he
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: asked me again about it and I said, I said
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: thank you, And so I think it was the third
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: time that he asked me about it. I said, well,
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: what do you want me to do?
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Cartwheels?
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna do cartwheels. I'm not gonna do that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: I love it. I appreciate it, thank you so much.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: But the thing is when we expect a person to
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: react the way that we think that they should react,
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: and they don't we get in our feelings sometimes and
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: that sometimes caused emotional wounds because oh, well, I won't
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: do that no more, I won't buy them anything, I
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: won't do this, and I won't do that.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: It's not that they don't appreciate it.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: The appreciation or their act of appreciation is not what
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: you think that he should be. And so we have
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: to get out of that. And then I want to
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: touch on something else that you said about when we're
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: going places. You know, the fact that I may not
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: always want to go with you, or you may not
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: always want to go with me. But we also have
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: to look at the fact that there are some people
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: every time their partner darks the door, you want to
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: be on the scene. You got to be there. They
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: can't move without you. No we going together, Well I
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: got to go too. And you know it's always you
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: got to be there. That's the person that is not
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: secure and you need to check that. You need to
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: check that within yourself, because I don't have to go
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: everywhere that he goes, even though people think I do.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: Even though people think he go everywhere that I go,
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: he doesn't. The thing is, you see us a lot.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Together because we love to be together.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: This is my best friend, and so I like spending
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: time with my best friends.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Our hobbies are very much linked together. He likes DRESD racing.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: I like drag racing, and you know, I I that's
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: just me. I'm a nightroous girl. I'm looking for a
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Chevelle too.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: If anybody know anybody that got a body or anything
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: that they want to.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Get ridly, I gotta just throw that out there. Okay,
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: So beck back on topic. So I love it. I
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: love it, And you know what the thing is that
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm gonna touch on.
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: That too, because people that know me and they know
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: me from my past, they may know the reason why
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: I like Chavelle's.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: But the thing is, he's not insecure.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: And the reason that I like Chavelle's, he's not insecure
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: in that because of the simple fact that one of
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: my ex boyfriends.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Had a Shavelle.
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: And that's what introduced me really to the racing scene,
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: because you know, hey, I was I was one of
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: those ones. We would we would we would skill quit
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: up the skim school and we would ride and we
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: would race down the road just like crazy people. You know,
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: first of all, you're supposed to be in school. Second
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: of all, you're flying down this road. Anything can happen,
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: and what's gonna be the outcome, what's gonna be said
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: or whatever.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: You know, these are the things. But this is the thing.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: We can talk about it, have talked about it, have
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: had conversations about it. He's not insecure.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: I'm not to the point to where I'm just like
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: so all out the way with it.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: And so these are the things that you have to understand.
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: When you are mature, you can have those type of conversations.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: You can have that. And so it's the same thing.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: There are things that he desired when he was back
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: in the day with whoever. And I'm good with it
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: because of the siml fact that we are together.
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: We are.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: Married, weird linked, we have a covenant, and so the
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: past is just that it's the past.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: And he has his desires.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: I have my desires. He has his reasons for the
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: things that he desired. I have my reason for the
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: things that are desired. And there's nothing that is wrong
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: with that when you are mature enough to have a
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: conversation and to ask, Because if I just come out
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: and say, well, you know, this is what I want
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: this is I want this, and I like racing.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, So why why you like racing? You a girl?
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: You you weren't your people not into racing.
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: You know you was raised by your grandma. Your grandma
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: wasn't into racing. You know, you got two sisters, they
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: not inter racing. Your brother was not there even though
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: he was inter racing.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: You didn't even know that about him, that he was
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: into racist. So while you interracing.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: So if I lie and just say, oh, I just
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: like it, and then something comes out later about why
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: I like it, then he's like, well, why you just.
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: Couldn't tell me that. That's the whole key right there.
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: See when you be, when you're a man or woman,
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: and listen to me, keviully because God only made too Now,
• 41:34
  Speaker 5: he didn't make a lady, He didn't make a dude.
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: He made man. He made one man for a man. Yes,
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: when a man or a woman, it's truly who they
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: say they are. I can say what's on my mind.
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: I can say what I feel. I can tell you
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: how I feel, I can tell you what was what
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: Because we're together me I don't have those insecurity problems
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: that ain't never been me. My thing is this. If
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: you happy, I'm happy for you. I want to make
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: you happy. If that's what you want, I got you.
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: Because here's the thing, y'all. We had somebody tell us
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: one time. I say, I'm looking for Chabelle. They've her friend, say, girl,
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: do he know that back in the day? She said yeah,
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: And then she she said, oh my god, he a
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: real man, my man all day. It's not about that.
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: Here's the key. The car was a memory. But if
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: I build the one that she won't like she wanted,
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: that's our memory. Now what we did. Don't worry about
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: the past. You know how some people get together and
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: then you got pictures and all that, and they want
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: to tear up your pictures and stuff. I've been with
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: people that got my pictures and cut them all up
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: and then put them back in a little bag and
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: then throw the little bag over there. Hear your picture?
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I like, what what is this? Thank you very much?
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: Yep to cut up my stuff? Why why would you
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: do that? Oh? So you got feelings. Now I ain't
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: got no feelings. But you know what, that was my past.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: I enjoyed that. Yeah, I want to remember what I did,
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: what I enjoyed that, but I'm with you, but you
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: know what, I ain't with you no more because if
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: you do something that's stupid and that minute, what else
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: would you do? Because that ain't gonna get no bettery'
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: that's gonna get worse. You know. That's why when I
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: made that time man, no no no, no, no, no, no,
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: say what you want to say out your mom. But
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: I only been married at one time, and I'm always
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: Anybody that knows me tell me. I can tell you.
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: I said, I'm not gonna get married till I find
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: the one that's for me. Were gonna be one hundred
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: with each other. We ain't gonna have no secrets lyin'
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: I don't even do none of that. I have, but
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: I don't because you know what, I ain't good at it.
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: It is what it is. I ain't gonna worry about
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: what it ain't And if you can't deal with that that,
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: please don't be with me, because I tell on myself.
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: I even laugh at myself because it is what it is.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: We just do we do us and be happy, be happy.
• 44:09
  Speaker 5: Don't you understand that you weren't born together? You gotta pass,
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: he gotta pass, We gotta pass. We got But here's
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: the key. We got a present working on our future. Yes,
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: and if we get into it and make it happen,
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: we can look over our life and look where God
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: has brought us from, cause he has brought her from
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: a mighty and mighty long way. We're too old to
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: be getting stressed when we could be blessed.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: And you know.
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: When you said tell on yourself. The thing is, you
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: have to understand that when you become one. When when
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: you become one, you can't help it because you want
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: to make sure that there is nothing, no thing that
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: can drive a wedge in between what you have.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: And the scripture tells us what God is doing together.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Let no man put asunder God, but he is joined together.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: No man should put as under.
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: Let yourself not be that man, because sometimes we are
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: the man self, well, the man that tear things apart
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: because we lie, we're insecure, we haven't matured yet, we
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: don't even know.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: How to be honest with our own selves, and so
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: you have to understand that. I remember years ago when
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I was working at my same job in.
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: A different position, and it was funny because there was
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: an individual that worked under my leadership in another part
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: of the state, and I would get phone calls, and
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: instead of the phone calls being about business, when I
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: pick up the phone, the first thing that they would
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: be saying they would be seeing you are so.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, and it would be hilarious to me. I would laugh.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: I would put my phone on speakerphone and call my
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: other coworkers over like, Hey, come over here and listen
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: to this. And so it just became an reoccurring thing
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: almost daily. Every time he would call, before he talked
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: about anything dealing with business, he would just start off
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: like this, never seen this person a day in my life.
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: The only thing that he has ever seen concerning me
• 46:43
  Speaker 4: is a staff picture. And so I would laugh and joke.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: We would we would make a big joke about it
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: in the office. And then one day, no phone call, okay,
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: two three days past, no phone call, and so then
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: the phone call, okay, once again, hey singing you are
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: so beautiful to me. And then he said, Hey, you
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be in the city,
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: I'm coming for a meeting, whatever, whatever, Hey, how about
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: let's go to lunch. And I'm like, no, I'm married.
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: He's like, so, so am I And I'm like, uh no.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: No, I can't go to lunch with you or what
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: have you.
• 47:27
  Speaker 4: And so I came home that day and I came
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: home and the first thing that I said is, you know,
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: there's a guy that's been calling.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: My office and he's been singing to me and I
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: like it. And I was balling. I mean, I'm just
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: like hard dawn crying. I'm hard down crying.
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: And I told him, I said, he was singing you
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: are so beautiful to me, and I liked it.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: And so he starts laughing at me.
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: He was like, why are you crying?
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: I said, because I liked it. He said, okay, so
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: you are beautiful.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: And so this is the stuff that you have to
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: think about because of the simple fact that if things
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: like that so simple, it was simple to him, it
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: was nothing to him, but me, being his wife, it
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: was everything to me to be honest about it, to say, hey,
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: this person called me, and even though I have no
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: type of dealing with this person that asked me to
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: go to lunch with them, I told them no.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: They called me almost every day they sang to me.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: But the day that they didn't call me, I'm like, oh, well,
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: I didn't get a phone call. I didn't get a
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: phone call, So what happened?
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: And that's the moment that I realized what was taking place,
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: and I said, no, I need to say.
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: This is what happened. And I liked it.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: You know, I got a kick out it, even though
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: I called my friends over and I was like, hey,
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: y'all can listening to him. We would laugh about it
• 49:01
  Speaker 4: and stuff like that. But the thing is, though the
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: seed was plenty. The seed was plenty, and so when
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: the seed was planning, I needed to pluck that seed
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: up because there was nothing wrong with us in our marriage.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: But the enemy is so cunning because they he knows,
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: he knows, And so you have to understand. You have
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: to be honest about where you are in your marriage
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: and in situations. If you know that you have some
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: type of secret that could eventually cause a division, cause dissension,
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: caused any type of crack, you never give the enemy
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: a foothold in.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: Your marriage to car us division.
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: And that's the thing that we have to understand because
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: we're the ones that give the foothold.
• 50:08
  Speaker 5: There you go, see, the enemy is subtle, and he's
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: super subtle, and then all of a sudden suddenly he
• 50:15
  Speaker 5: all up in there. But here's the thing. I want
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: you to remember this part too. You're human. You make mistakes,
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: but learn from your mistake. But don't allow the mistake
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: to bring headache in your relationship. Yes, don't be upset
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: and get mad about something that's nothing. Talk about it,
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: work through it, get over it. Because it was nothing.
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: But then you learned something. If you was perfect, then
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: know it wouldn't happened. People call you and start like
• 50:53
  Speaker 5: I said, it's so subtle little song. It's a joke
• 50:55
  Speaker 5: at first, then all of a sudden, anything you listen, okay,
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: even on the radio. You gotta ask me one time,
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: because we'll do music as well. He said, Man, I
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: want to be a hit. I said, well, this song
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: ain't no good. And he looked at his brother. This everything.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: I said. No, this song ain't no good. I said,
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: But if you wanted to be a hit and make
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: you some money, I can tell you how to do it.
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: He said, But you said it no good. I said,
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: simply because it ain't no good. Don't mean I can't
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: make it happen for you. I said. You know, just
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: like close people by, just because they make it, don't
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: mean you at to put your body in it because
• 51:30
  Speaker 5: it ain't made for you. But you buy it, don't you.
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: I said, let me help you, because anything that you
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: get used to hearing, you start regurgitating it back up,
• 51:39
  Speaker 5: I said, naw, semp thirty in the morning, we're on
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: the radio, eleven thirty in the afternoon, you're on the radio.
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: Three o'clock, you're on the radio. Five o'clock, you're on
• 51:50
  Speaker 5: the radio. Don't come back to about nine. I said,
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: you gotta hit those hours for about a week straight
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: stop for three days, and then go rap back next thing.
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: You know, because you hear it so regularly, because first
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: you're like, man, but you hear so much it's in
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: your head. You know every word. Then all of a sudden,
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: suddenly you know it and you hear everybody playing it.
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: That's my jam. I really didn't like it, but now
• 52:23
  Speaker 5: I'm listening to it. It's okay, because you know what,
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: you could be the ugliest person in the world. But
• 52:28
  Speaker 5: if I just keep looking, keep looking like it used
• 52:31
  Speaker 5: to looking. That's why I oh, that's just my homeboy.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: You don't even see ugly, no more exact you see
• 52:37
  Speaker 5: same thing, same principle. I call you and singing you,
• 52:42
  Speaker 5: and I know you don't like it, but you happen
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: to like this, so I'm gonna keep doing it. And it
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: starts off as a joke, so that's that subtle. Then
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: suddenly you looking for because I'm doing it all the time,
• 52:52
  Speaker 5: and then it's just like a baby. Take that nipple away.
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: Now you're crying. Wait, man, I'm used to having it.
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: I don't need it, but I'm to have any now
• 53:02
  Speaker 5: if you leave it alone, it won't worry about because
• 53:04
  Speaker 5: out of sight, out of mind, but out of your ears.
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: What happened? Then all of a sudden you realize, you
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: know what, I'm married and I was digging this. Wow,
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: look what I did? I allowed this to happen. Now,
• 53:18
  Speaker 5: don't you be all irate by nothing? They came and
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: told you the truth. Okay, baby, that's what it is.
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: All right? Now, you know we good. But it's funny
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: because here's the thing it teaches you. Now we ain't
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: even going there. Let's be professional about this thing. Why
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: are you singing to me and you married? I'm married,
• 53:38
  Speaker 5: matter of fact, how you even why are you looking
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: me up like this? So that's telling me right off?
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: Rip you all to the left. You know what I mean,
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: be one hundred with yourself and everything is good. If
• 53:50
  Speaker 5: you cross all your te's dot all your eyes, then
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: it should be no problem. And in the event that
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: it is and they don't have no dealing with you,
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: then you stand on that because I didn't do that.
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: I'm not gonna argue with you about nonsense when I
• 54:06
  Speaker 5: know I didn't do it. I'm not even trying to
• 54:08
  Speaker 5: please you because you the one off kilter. No, it
• 54:12
  Speaker 5: ain't that. Just be one hundred. It's not being arrogant.
• 54:17
  Speaker 5: But you know what, I'm not relying. I'm not allowing
• 54:20
  Speaker 5: anything to get in my recept because that I didn't
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: put in there. It's full of my stuff. I don't
• 54:26
  Speaker 5: need garbage, not that garbage exactly.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: And that's the thing that we have to understand. Marriage
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: is not perfect and never will be. It's not perfect,
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: but healing is available. So we hope that you will
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: allow yourself to be healed and understand that the journey
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: to wholeness is not a quick fix. It takes time.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: Restoration takes time, and healing takes.
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: Time and then becomes rejuvenation and that brings time exactly.
• 55:05
  Speaker 5: So let the healing begin.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: We'll see you guys next time. M.