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Sober Motherhood and Second Chances: Kathy Reis · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome moms. Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Monica Samuels, and I am very thrilled today to have
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: with us my co host's daughter, Georgia Orchid. Thank you
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: so much Georgia for joining us. So as we not,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: it's like a lot of times the guests that we
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: have on the show, we'll talking about a lot of
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: different things. We don't often talk about parenting exactly. This
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: is more like a show to support moms on a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: lot of things. So, but today we were touching on
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: some parenting stuff and we thought it would be great
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: to have a perspective of a child. You're not a child.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I'm a recent child.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: You're your mom's child, a relatively recent child, a recent
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: grad young adult you are, and so I'm so thrilled
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: that you're here today.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Have give us a great perspective. So let's start. You
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: are just graduating from college and you're living You're in
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: La yes, ma'am, and you're starring on a major in
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: a major motion pictures. Is it my correct?
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Absolutely things. Just you know, it was just so easy
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: to start my career here.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It's so fast, I know, no I'll always say that
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: you come out to La next thing, you know your stars.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's what they say, that said that something totally Yeah, No,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: what are you doing?
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: No, I'm definitely definitely not working at retail job vision right,
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: applying to thirty plus jobs online.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Definitely not my reality.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're actually get there. That's how it starts.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: So see Georgia someday.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: We definitely wasn't working last night inventory till ten thirty.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely not happening.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Well, but you're but you can see while you're while
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: you're out there helping those customers or whatever with the register,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: whatever you got to practice or imagine your your Oscar
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: acceptance speech or you know, then the line they're at
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: the red carpet or walk through your store like you're
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: walking the red carpet every day. I mean, just get ready.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'll start doing that, Monica, and I'll let you
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: know what my manager thinks.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, you're you work a number of stores here
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: in LA. Don't We're not going to say the brand because.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll keep it confidential.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Leck go, but like you get to work at all
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: different stores all over town, right, yes, so who are
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: who are their favorite customer types, like like what stores like?
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to get to the Glendale store because
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: they're just the most awesome people there.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Something I will say about the Glendale store is our
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I can't know if it's a Century City or Glendale,
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: but the sales section incredible. Oh yeah, which I really
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: love a good sale, so me too. But I think
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: my favorite customers are one or the other tourists who
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: have no idea where they are or what they want,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: or people who know exactly what they want and they
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: come all the time and they're just like, I'm here
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: for another pair of blank mm hmm, can you help me?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, you got a lot of tourists here.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: A lot of tourists, especially at the location that I
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: work at is a very tourist mall area.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna guess that's Century City.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: It's no, it's it's it's actually the Grove. I just
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: narrowed down the retail scope for you guys.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah it's the Grove. Oh okay, well I work at
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: the Grove. Yeah you do that, Yeah, you work at
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: the Grove.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: I've also worked in Beverly Hills and Melrose Avenue.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: Was that like she knows all the spots. That's where
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: you meet your contacts.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Well, it's really great that you can swift your swift,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: swap your shift with any A lot of words, you
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: can swap your shift with anyone in the greater LA area.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: So it is a really great way to meet new
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: people in different parts of the city because La feels
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: like a bunch of different cities.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I have one last question and then we're going to
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: get to our guests. We have a very important show here.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: You work for a store chain that's all over the world,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So why didn't you think a tourist would stop at
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: a store that they could go to?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: They do?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: They think they're going to find something special in the
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Beverly or they can say I bought this at Beverly Hills.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Is that the idea?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: What monarchy been shopping on vacation, haven't you?
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I always try to go to the local,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of what's local to the area.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: And like.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, if they don't go to if they don't
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: go to our store, they're going to go to like
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: across the street, to Sephora or Stroms.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so they're just so when they landed in your mall,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: that's where those are your choices, I guess. Yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: I mean people like people love the shop.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to like the psychology, the psychology of
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: a tourist, because like I'm one here right now, and
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: after this, I'm heading over to Rodeo Drive because I
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: want to get a souvenir over there.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, you've shut it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to look for a key chain. So
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: it was probably going to cost like five hundred dollars least. Yeah,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: well I think that's what I can't afford over there
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: right now. So but I can at least they say
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I got one while I was here. What nothing. Look,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: our other co hosts is just not talking behind my back,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: so just so you know, okay, okay, let's keep it.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Let's keep it professional.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: All right, Yes, ma'am miss Monica.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be your mother for today too. Well. We
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: are excited today to have with us as our guest.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: An La native UCLA grad, a business owner, a wife
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: of twenty five years, and the proud mom of two
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: amazing college age kids. She has over fifteen years of
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: sobriety and is an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous and
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: serves on the board A Felicity House Sober Living, which
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: is the place that supported her in her in her
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: early recovery. Please welcome Kathy Reese. Welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Hello Kathy, thank you so much for joining us. Well,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: you are part of a you have an interesting and
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: an important story, and you're a part of a very
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: important organization. So tell us a little bit about your
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: journey and how you you're now a board member of
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Felicity House. Tell us a little bit about yourself background,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: how it came together.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Well, you said the promo, which is actually a good
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: solid description of the beginning of my journey. And as
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: I mentioned, when I originally got sober, my daughter was
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: three and my son was eighteen months younger, so like
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: to one and night two, almost a little around there.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: And my husband gave me a very he's a Canadian Portuguese,
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: so he's very nice, and he said, you need to
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: take a look at your drinking and smoking, or we
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: need to take a break. And so that got my attention.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: That got me because I didn't want to lose my kids,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: because I'm a mom and I love my kids, and
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to lose my husband because I have
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: That's what my codependency issues helped.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: So this is important to all the moms that are
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: out there, because there are some moms I think the
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: thing that motherhood obviously is a stressful time in your
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: life that can be so much stress and no matter
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: what stage your kids were very small that I remember
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: that time in my life and that's a lot. And
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: then it gets then, I hate to say, it gets
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to middle school and it can get tougher, and then
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: they're off to the high school. You don't even know
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: what's happening. So a lot of moms really struggle with that.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: And I've noticed from experience of knowing some you know,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: other moms as I've gone through in my life, they
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: you might start drinking socially and you don't even stop
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and think, like what it constitutes a time in your
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: life when I'm basically I need help. I probably know
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: your husband made you accountable and said, hey, you need
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: to do something about this. But I know I've talked
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: to friends that'll say, well, let's see, I drink every
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: day this week. I'm going to take off Friday because
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I think that's important to take one day off, and
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: then I'm going to, like, at what point if you're
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: not being if someone's not making you accountable, how do
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: you think you can recognize in yourself, you know what,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I might need to go to AA, I might need
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: some support. This might not be a good thing that
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I'm doing for myself or my kids. What's the tripping
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: point there? Do you think for most women or should
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: be that they recognized.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Well, that's a good question. So the reason that I
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: drank when they were little would be the same reasons
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: that people women would drink regardless of the age. Because
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: I almost relapsed a few years ago with my with
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: my teenage daughter, who was nothing but a normal, healthy
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: teenage daughter. And so the the reason, you know, because
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: her shutting me out, her not wanting to talk to me,
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: her you know, me saying I got sober for you,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: you know, and lashing out at my daughter was I
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: was not doing Alanon at the time, and it was
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: recommended to me to go to Alamon to work around
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: those issues. But as a mom who is just socially
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: drinking and trying to figure out if she needs help,
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: it would be if feelings are coming up for you
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  Speaker 4: with your with your teenage young adults, because they are
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: not kids, and we are not allowed to call them that.
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  Speaker 4: But if if I'm starting to deal with my feelings
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: and frustrations and wanting relief from a situation with you know,
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: hit a pot or alcohol, that's when it becomes an issue.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Like there are some people that can go remember the
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: old Sex and the City time when you know the show,
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: would you know they went out? I remember, like watching
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: this episode, they just smoked pot on the fly. Somebody
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: happened to have it, and then they never smoked it again.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: Like I wish I could do that. Like for me,
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  Speaker 4: pot is like cookies and sweets and sugar, Like if
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: it's in the freakin' house, I'm gonna eat it. So
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: and that's the same thing with certain drinks, right, maybe
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: not this type of alcohol, but other types of alcohol,
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: like that's my drink, that's my you know, red Bull
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: and vodka. Like if it's in the house, I'm going
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: to drink it. So I would say for moms and
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: women that are it's it's hard. Life is hard right now,
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: you know with an adults. But I'm saying that that
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: if if I'm trying to fix my problems with something
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: on the outside, then it's never been That's when I
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: need to start taking a look because AA and alan
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: On you know, all of the twelve step programs, there's
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: the twelve steps that are tools for living one day
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: at a time, dealing with situations one day at a time,
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: but learning how to use tools to address what's inside
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: of me versus looking for, you know, something that's going
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: on on the outside. You know, the feelings of being
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: a mom go up and down. You know, like sometime
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: I'm comparing my inside with somebody's outsides, and I you know,
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I could look at it at a young adult or
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: a mom and they're like, oh, my kid goes to
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: you know, Stanford, you know, or whatever, and they're saying
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: all this stuff, but I don't know the whole story. Like,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: for all I know, they could have had the challenge
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: to get to that college. Like, look, my daughter is
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: at a top university, but you know what, she suffers
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: from migraines. She and wait a minute, they just started
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: in her senior year. And wait a minute. I didn't
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: know what a migraine was. So the fact that I.
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: Didn't the fact that I didn't know how to interact
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: with my daughter and to honor her pain. And I
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: was like, well, what do you, you know, just go
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: to school and she was under the chair in her senior.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Year, lad a top student. She just like left and
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: so learning how to deal with that, you know, with
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: the twelve steps was really helpful. And that's when I
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: almost went out and I leaned into AA. I called
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: other moms, and I found out that it was really
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: common and that she was just trying to set boundaries
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: and thank god that she met a teacher account.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: That helped her deal with that boundaries with me. Yeah,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: you know, so, I guess the thing is what a
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: lot of people deal with stressors different ways. And if
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: your stress relief is I'm feeling stressed, I'm going to
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: have a drink or smoke pot or whatever, then maybe
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: that's identifies to you that. But you know, it's also
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: when you're at that place, it's not easy to get
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: past that. I think one of the big biggest tests.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: And I told, you know, my kids when they were
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: in high school about drinking and everything, and I tried
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: to the reason I personally tried to warn them about
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: alcoholism was because my grandfather was an alcoholic and I
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: heard stories from my grandmother or my mother who watched
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: my grandfather physically beat up my grandmother when he was drunk,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: and the next day he would say, did I do
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: that to you? Because he'd see her all black and
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: blue and didn't even remember it. So we knew growing
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: up that and there's some there's some genetic component to
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: that too.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: So I always told my kids, if you start drinking
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: with your friends or whatever, and if you feel like
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: you can't stop, or you feel stressed or whatever, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: you feel like I need a drink because I've this
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: is overwhelming me, then maybe you need you need you
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: have do you need the help? And I praise you
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: that you.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: Do stop at one. I mean that if somebody can
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: be like, I'm stressed and I'm just gonna have a
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: glass of wine, well that's an alcoholism, right. Yeah, it's
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: when it's when I'm going after Oh that makes me
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: feel good, but yeah, another one, Oh that makes me
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: feel good. Let me and by the time I'm done,
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: I'm having six seven drinks. But yeah, it is adit
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: it is hereditary. I'm one of five children and I'm
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: the only one sober, and every single one of us
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: has it. Yeah, And so when my kids were young,
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: I used to call them mommy meetings. I would say, okay, mom,
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: I'm going to a meeting and they would say, well,
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: where what do you and I'm going to mommy meetings?
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: And what do you do at mommy meetings? These are
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: these AA meetings And I'd say, well, we learned how
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: to be a good mom and we don't hit our kids.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: We don't because I was abused as a kid, right,
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I had something similar, and so we learned how to
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: take care of our bodies and we don't put things
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: that aren't good for us. And I remember being so terrified, like,
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: oh my god, my kids are going to know that
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: I'm an alcoholic. How am I going to address it?
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: And I would have I would lean into the program
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: with other moms and they would like, don't worry about it.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: Did they ask you why are you stressed about it? Answer?
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: And then I would answer appropriately of where they were
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: at the time, So if they said, I would say
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: mommy meetings. And then as they got older, it was
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: like then I could talk about AA and what it
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: is and how addiction runs in the family, and unfortunately
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I would say, well, you see Uncle Kavin, how he's
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: passed out on a Sunday and there's twenty beer cans
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: around it. Well that's alcoholism.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Well I commend you.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: For and then it like kind of just as they
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: got older.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I commend you for your husband too. You know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: it's not easy to address that with someone else to say,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: and that's probably one of the hardest things to because
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: there's more of there's more of this in the society
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: than we want to ever admit people. Most people won't
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: even admit they have that problem. And they do, and
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: then it's up to their friends. Their friends notice it
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: in mind. But he's brave enough to say, I'm your friend,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: and you know what you're drinking every day and doesn't
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: seem like it's helping you. You know, how do you?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, what are your thoughts about? Because you're you're
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a young person who you probably see a lot of
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: kids that you went to college with. You may a recognize.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know my son has talked about some
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: of his friends like he's an alcoholic. Mom. He recognizes,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: now this kid in college is an alcoholic. But how
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: do you tell him? How do you we?
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: I also, I wanted to say thank you to all
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: of you guys who are working at the Felicity House
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: and doing these things to support sober mothers and with
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: sobriety for women, And because even though Laurie and I
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: were just talking about how there were a lot of
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: drugs available in like the eighties, but in a way
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: it's just as bad as it was then now because
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: of the media and because of how stressful in polarizing
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: this time can feel, and because of social media, vape
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: ads are being targeted towards young adults where it's not
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: even legal for them to buy it. There's social media
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: and advertisements for alcohol are everywhere, and you see advertisements
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: on your phone when you scroll. It's just really hard
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: to avoid those substances. And it's still a part of
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: college culture as well. There's like an expectation to try things.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a tough.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: And it is a hard line because you want to
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: be there for your friends, but you also don't want
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: to lose their friendship by bringing up something they're not
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: ready to.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Be brave enough. So when your husband addressed this with you,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: did you resent that at first or disagree with him?
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Or were you appreciative that you know what I think
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: you've you told me. You just said what I know
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: you were thinking and I needed to do.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I kind of driving. And that was
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: a big deal too, because he was like, look, he
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: sees me drinking in the house and then going out,
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: and then he's like, if you get a DUI, I'm
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: responsible for that too. You're the mother of my child.
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: He said, I didn't marry this. This is not what
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: I signed up for, is what he told me. He
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: did say he had to go to therapy to get
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: advice on how to interact with me because he loved
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: me and he didn't want to lose me. But he
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: was ready to walk away. And unfortunately, I've heard many
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: stories in the rooms of AA where people took that
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: ultimatum and just said, well, you know, and they ended
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: up getting divorced. So I feel very fortunate. I mean,
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: I'm married twenty five years because I'm sober, like, I'm married,
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: you know, my kids are thriving because I'm sober.
• 18:01
  Speaker 6: Like.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: That is such a gift to be able to you know. Like, however, however,
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: my higher power needed to like deliver that message. It
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: did because if somebody would have been you know, he's
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: such a nice guy that he did it with such
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: love and calmness. The way he told me that, I listened.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: You know, I was just I was just a party
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: girl on a rampage and didn't want to grow up.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: You know, I was just being immature. And then once
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I became a mom, it was like, you know, these
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: these Kauds are my focus. So when my daughter acted
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: out as a young adult and I was like, what
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: so and so sobriety and motherhood is like leveled up
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: at a whole different level because now I have to
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: you know, I talked to other moms that are sober,
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: like how do you deal with your teenage daughter? And
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: they're like, don't call her? Like I'm like what wait
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: for her to call you? You know, stuff like that,
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, what do you talk? So that was
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: the best advice I forgot, you know. And I have
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: a son and a daughter and they're completely different, like
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: the way I interact with you know. So it's that
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: motherhood that's navigating is.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Really being a mom? Yeah? Absolutely, well tell us. So
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: the other gift is Felicity House. So can you describe this?
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: What what is Felicity House? How does how does it operate?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: And it's obviously an important tools.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: City house is a non Felicity House is a nonprofit
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: beautiful craftsman house on the West Side. It's a transitional living.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: It's the most inexpensive. I think it's like only twelve
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: hundred dollars a bed, which is crazy because most sober
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: livings are like a couple of thousand, like a lot
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: and a lot of times people can get scholarship, you know,
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: we have lots of you know, tools and programs that
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: help pay for it. But they've been around since nineteen
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: seventy four. They've been around a long time, and so
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: they it's it's a transition house for any woman that
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: wants to stay sober and you you live there. The
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: maximum time you can live is about a year and
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: a half. You have chores, you have everything from yoga,
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: it's a sound bowl things. On certain nights, you have
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: to have a job or at least looking for a job.
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: You have to have a sponsor. Pretty much. It's like
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: bringing you know, there's a Monday night, there's a Wednesday meeting.
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: It's open to the public. It's a beautiful candle light
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: women's meeting that that's open to all and all women
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: or people identify finding as women. It's anyway we can
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: be supportive. We have lots of events there. We have
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: a comedy show coming up on the eighteenth of this
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: month in Hollywood at the Cuck Lounge. We do a
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: gala every year and that one's coming up in September.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: But it's just all to support women one day at
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: a time, showing them how to live and that you know,
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: they make friends. They some people say like I didn't
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: know how to like make my bed. I didn't know
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: how to do a checkbook. I didn't know how to
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: you know, cook, I didn't My daughter when she was
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: a Girl Scout, she ended up doing her Girl Scout
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Gold Award, and she ended up doing teaching life skills
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: through baking to women in sobriety because some people don't
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: know anything about baking or measuring or following directions, you know.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: And so to be able to integrate that and that
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: was a great opportunity for my daughter to see like, wow,
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: remember so and so, Oh she's in jail. Well, you know,
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: the people relapse, it's part of the story. Some unfortunately
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: the statistics. So to be able to share that and
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: just stay dialed dialed in, I mean, one of the
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: women that you know Denise who's on the on the
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: zoom she went through the house and she's like the
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: director of the house. Now another woman who's a sober mom,
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: she's on the board with me and she went through
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: the house and she's has like two years like just
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: to see this path of like the ones that make
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: it like it's like the starfish thing, like you can't
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: save every starfish. But we're he but but Felicity House
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: has been in a beacon of hope and an icon
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: like that's always been there and we're there when they
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: want to come back, we're there. If they want to stay,
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: we're there no matter what. Right it's like parenthood, like
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: I'm not going anywhere.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Uh yuh no. That's great and it's so valuable. I
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: absolutely love that.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: I think the community aspect of it is Yeah, by
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: by far the most amazing part.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Well, and I love that you do a comedy that
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: you have a comedy show too, because we have our
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: motto is if you don't laugh, sometimes you're going to cry.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: So we believe in introducing laughter into everything. Well, we
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: have some moms who want to meet you and ask
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: you some questions and they are our zoomer Moms. Welcome,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Zoomer Moms, Welcome to the Moms Pop. Hello, ladies, We're
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: so thrilled to have you, and for all you moms
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: out there, you want to be a zoomer mom, you
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: need to get in touch with us. Look at our
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: website inside mom the Inside the Mom's Club dot com
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: and you just apply to be a Zoomer Mom, because
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: we know there's a lot of you great moms out
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: there who want to join us as well. Well, let
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: me introduce first, Michelle, tell us a little bit about yourself.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Where are you from which and if your full name
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: so everybody get to know you, and do you have
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: a question.
• 23:16
  Speaker 7: My name is Michelle Elizabeth Williams. I am a native
• 23:21
  Speaker 7: of New York, but I've been living here home now
• 23:24
  Speaker 7: in Atlanta for about thirteen years. I am an author
• 23:29
  Speaker 7: of my book entitled Nobody Ever Told Me, And just
• 23:32
  Speaker 7: from the title alone, you can almost imagine what Nobody
• 23:35
  Speaker 7: Ever Told Me. I've been traveling the world telling my
• 23:40
  Speaker 7: story about sexual, physical, and mental abuse, and what just
• 23:44
  Speaker 7: touched me about your story was that you overcame alcoholism
• 23:49
  Speaker 7: and how you're fighting through it every day to be
• 23:52
  Speaker 7: the best mom, the best friend, the best person that
• 23:57
  Speaker 7: you can be. My question to you would be, have
• 24:01
  Speaker 7: you ever taken out time to thank God that he
• 24:06
  Speaker 7: chose you to be that alcoholic? And the reason why
• 24:10
  Speaker 7: I asked that question is because you were chosen and
• 24:16
  Speaker 7: you had to fight through every feeling that an alcoholic
• 24:20
  Speaker 7: person would have to go through. You had to go
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: through loss, you had to go through the teenage barriers
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: of the children. But all of this happened because I
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: just believe you were chosen by God to have to
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: go through this, because if you had not went through this,
• 24:37
  Speaker 7: you would have never opened up that house and you
• 24:40
  Speaker 7: wouldn't be able to stand there and say to these women,
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through.
• 24:46
  Speaker 7: I know exactly what you're talking about. Have you ever
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: taken out time to just thank God that he chose
• 24:53
  Speaker 7: you to be the vessel for your life?
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Michelle, thank you for the question. I definitely definitely do regularly.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: I define God as my higher power. And yeah, because
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: I have been sexually abused and all that, I had
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: all all the reasons in the world to be an addict.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: And then you know, when I started, you know, going
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: to Felicity House and listening to other stories and hearing
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: people go to the same thing, and then listening to
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: their solutions on how they got through stuff. It was
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: all about higher power and God. You know, some people
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: are not don't like to see the word God. And
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: then you just get to choose, you know, whatever it
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: looks like for you. But for me, I'll okay with that,
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: and and I do I do in my my daily checkki.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: I have a gratitude list that I have on a
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: group chain with my sponsor and other Silber sisters. Every
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: time I'm in a meeting, I know that it's a
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: gift that I that I'm in that room for myself,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: and you know, like I'm a human. So every once
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: in a while goes back and forth like oh, I
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: wish I didn't have to go through all this stuff.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: But then I get what you said, Michelle, that like
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: if it wasn't for you know, being sexually abused by
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: my dad as a child, I wouldn't be able to
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: help other people that went through it. And so like
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: my kids don't know that. Then in AA it's always like, well,
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: what's the purpose in your communication? Like they don't need
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: to know that he passed away. I forget him all
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: that stuff, and it's and I can let it go
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: like that, that that abuse cycle is gone. My kids
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: are thriving, I'm married. You know, there's definitely other stuff
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: that comes up in life. But I know that when
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: when somebody shares about being sexually abused, I can share
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: that person feel they can exhale, like it's not only me, right,
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: because as we know, right when we're going through it,
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: we think we're the only ones. When I was, yeah,
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: we're that young. We think we're the only ones, and
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: we're not. That's the sad part. The second ies aren't
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: sharing about it. Literally, in a group of ten people,
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: five or six of them were like, oh me too,
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my God, Like, it's just so right.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: So I do yeah, So I do know that that
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: God is always watching over me. Right, There's always there's
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: a lot. I have some other stuff going on now,
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: and it's like, okay, there's plan A, Plan B and
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Plan G. That's God's plan and I'm just showing up,
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: showing up and doing the work, and you knowing, God's
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: plan sometimes not at my pace, you know, and I
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: want it to be fast, but unfortunately or fortunately right,
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: God wants me to like smell the flowers, slow down,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: learn what I need to learn in this, you know,
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: in this experience called life, and then you know, like
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: take it with a grain of salt. See what's there
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: for me to learn. And along the way, like if
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: someone comes in my life and I didn't expect it,
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: instead of saying I don't have time for that, like okay, God,
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: what was the plan? Right? There's the the all the
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: prayers that you know that we do an AA that
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: really help, like you know, God's will that I will
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: be done, not mine that. Yes, I definitely have AI
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: based AA program that takes anything other than me. So
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: like if you're not religious and this doesn't hit you
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: the right way, that's okay as long as it's not you.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: Because whenever I try to figure out stuff all myself,
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: then it's never going to work. And in the city house,
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: when I'm there with other women, it's moms. It's all
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: different levels of sobriety. It doesn't matter that I have
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: fifteen years because I could have went out a few
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: years ago with my daughter acting out and you know,
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: and then there's other times when we lean on each other. Right,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: sometimes I'm having a better day and someone else is having,
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: you know, a bad day. And you know, in January,
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: I was having a horrible month because my business partner
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: died and bazzled all this money and I'm having to
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: deal with all this stuff and that is not fun.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: But you know what, it's grown up shit and handle it,
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: you know well.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I love I love your question, Michelle, and I love
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: your answer because yeah, being being also being your own
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: God is not.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: That never works very well. There's a lot of people
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: who try that, but that doesn't work. So I think
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: that's really great. That's the worst. Yes, that's a bad Gretchen,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us your name, a
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: little bit about yourself, and do you have a question.
• 29:33
  Speaker 8: I guess Miam is Gretchen BONADICI and I live in Bisbee, Arizona,
• 29:37
  Speaker 8: which is south of Tucson, and I did have a question.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: I wasn't quite clear.
• 29:42
  Speaker 8: So did you have to check into the Felicity House
• 29:45
  Speaker 8: and live there while your children were young? And if so,
• 29:50
  Speaker 8: how did that work for you?
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, so I did not go through the house. So
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: that's so. There are women on the board, and some
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: went through the house and some didn't and but to
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: answer your question, there are women. One of the women
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: that's on the board now, she was in the Sober
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Living for a little over a year and her and
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: she's a mom, and her daughter was not in the house.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: There are sober livings that accept moms and daughters, but
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: Felicity House is only for women. And so I would
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: I live close to Felicity House. So for me, that's
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: how I discovered Felicity House is it's close to my
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: house and and because it's a home in a neighborhood,
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: and I would always motherhood was such a big deal
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: for me, and again that's why I got sober, so
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: when I always wanted to get to a meeting and
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: then get home in time to read my kids a
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: book to put them to bed right. And so that's
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: why that's what brought me, and that's what introduced me.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: But the sober living itself, definitely you can be a mom,
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: you don't have the moms that were there definitely eat
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: them through that process too, And so you know, they
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: lean they lean on me, and I give them resources.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm sponsoring them through the process because as a mom,
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: losing your kids, I can't even imagine but that's what
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: that's where this disease takes us if we don't so yeah,
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: and answer to your question, Gretchen, definitely, that's what people
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: would do. They would either the courts have them or
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: the husband where they're trying to work out stuff.
• 31:25
  Speaker 8: And yeah, yeah, well that must be such a motivation,
• 31:30
  Speaker 8: you know, to get help, because the thought of losing
• 31:34
  Speaker 8: your children has got to be so horrifying.
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: I can't even fathom that.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's more common than you think. Sadly enough, it's
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: very common. Yea. Yeah, well that that also is what
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: gives me passionate about sponsoring, you know, moms, is to
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: help them get their kids back because I know how
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: much I love my kids and I can't imagine. But
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: that's where this disease takes us. And it's not just
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: drugs and pot anymore. It's that mall and people are
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: dying anyway.
• 32:02
  Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, well, thank you for that. That's that's wonderful
• 32:07
  Speaker 8: to know that you can be a mother and if
• 32:10
  Speaker 8: you need to go, you can go, and that there
• 32:12
  Speaker 8: are places that'll take a mother and a daughter.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that that. Yeah, that's that's good to know. Yeah, yeah,
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: let me know if you need resources, I'm sourceful.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: That that is really portant. Gretchen. We're so thrilled to
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: have Gretchen on the show too. Richard's actually been a
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: guest of our show, and she had she ran for
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: mayor of Bisbee by the way, she mentioned Bisbee.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: Wow, so yes, I.
• 32:35
  Speaker 8: Did or you didn't win though, but I did, right,
• 32:37
  Speaker 8: But you know, actually, yeah, you know what it is
• 32:43
  Speaker 8: an education trying to maneuver politics, you know, because fifty
• 32:49
  Speaker 8: percent of people are going to hate your guts and
• 32:52
  Speaker 8: you know, it's really hard to navigate that. But I'm
• 32:55
  Speaker 8: glad I did it, you know, and my reasoning we're
• 32:59
  Speaker 8: doing it was so pure and good.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: But you know, I learned a lot.
• 33:03
  Speaker 8: So if I decided to jump back in a second time,
• 33:06
  Speaker 8: I've got a lot more skills than I had before
• 33:09
  Speaker 8: because I just didn't.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: We'll keep us We'll keep us posted because yeah, and
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: that can be that's stressful. We're talking about stress on
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: this show. I think throwing yourself into politics is incredibly stressful.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: This is a great We get zoomer moms from all
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: over the place today, zoomer moms, a lot of them
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: have been guests on the show. And their authors. Michelle
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: you know is a good friend, Yeah, better many times,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: and and and celebrities and mayoral candidates, and you know,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: you actually probably could consider running for a higher office
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: there in Arizona. Why do you skip the mayor stuff?
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Because I think they could use, you know, a good guy.
• 33:45
  Speaker 8: Feel like I probably would have a better chance in
• 33:48
  Speaker 8: all of Arizona than in a tiny town.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: It's just weird here.
• 33:52
  Speaker 8: Because there's so much misinformation because we have like five
• 33:57
  Speaker 8: thousand people in our town. I feel like you control
• 34:00
  Speaker 8: the narrative much better if you are covering the whole state,
• 34:05
  Speaker 8: so I might do that.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I think you're actually right. So we'll just look forward
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: to your next campaign state wide in Arizona and.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Then from there Arizona.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: It seems like we're very these days in terms of that. Well, Denise,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us your name and
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: where you're from, a little bit about yourself.
• 34:27
  Speaker 6: Okay, Hi, I am Denise Day, and I am the
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: executive director for Felicity House, where Kathy is a board member,
• 34:37
  Speaker 6: and I am a mom to many moms here, usually
• 34:41
  Speaker 6: nine at a time, five days a week. We app
• 34:46
  Speaker 6: sometimes except for this weekend, but Kathy. I'm so proud
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: of your amazing strength and recovery and service work that
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: you do here at Felicity House, and I do thank
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: you so much. I'm so great to Kathy for being
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: such a great board member and support to me. I
• 35:06
  Speaker 6: came through Felicity House myself twenty years ago. It saved
• 35:10
  Speaker 6: my life, and about two years ago I came back.
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: We had a position open here and I was working
• 35:20
  Speaker 6: at a law firm. That a job I got through
• 35:23
  Speaker 6: Felicity House, by the way, and a successful career for
• 35:27
  Speaker 6: fifteen years, and then I did decided to come back
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: and give a shot at running the house. Didn't have
• 35:36
  Speaker 6: plans to stay, just was going to clean it up
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: as a board member and hand it off to somebody else,
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: and it became a passion. But my question for you,
• 35:46
  Speaker 6: Kathy would be, how do you talk to your kids
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: about alcoholism and do they come to meetings with you?
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: Do you introduce recovery to recovery to them in any way,
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: shape or form, since it is a generational hereditary disease.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: That's a great question.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I before you were managing the house, so
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: it might have been a little pocket when you weren't there,
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: but I Felicity House does a graduation for women when
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: they have been there for a year, and they read
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: Doctor Seuss all the places you go, and they give
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: them a chip and we all do affirmations and things
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: for them, and it's a beautiful thing. So I did
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: bring my kids to one of those because they knew
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: one of the moms personally because the mom had a daughter,
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: and so they have actually seen they've come and given
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: me cakes early in my sobriety when they were probably
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: about like ten eleven, and then as young adults, so
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: they are familiar with it. And I think as they've
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: been older, so a couple of people, you know, push
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: are have been addicted to fentanyl and almost died a
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: few times their age, So now it's becoming real for them.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: And so yeah, yeah, and so now since they've been
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: you know, sixteen, fifteen years old, we the conversations have
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: become a little more real. And especially now that my
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: young adults, I keep trying to say, babies, my babies.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: My young adults are now away in college and they're
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: making decisions without me during their senior year, and before
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: the conversations would be I would say things like Okay, guys,
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: you know what addiction is, right, you know what I
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: used to use sugar. They're you know, like as an
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: analogy when they were younger. But you guys know, you know,
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: my uncle died of alcoholism. Might like they know people
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: also that have died. And so when I sent them
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: off to college, it was like, Okay, you know, you
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: either have daddy's jeans or you have mommy's jeans. Like,
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: you don't know what you're going to get. It's gonna
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Russian roulette. So when you're offered drugs and alcohol at school,
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: like I can't stop you from choosing what you're gonna choose,
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: but I'm gonna tell you that it's Russian roulette. Like
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: you either you're in university to study and to learn
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: and to grow, and these are great opportunities for you
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: and this is the time of your life. And not
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: that you're never going to experiment, because I'm sure you are,
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: but my suggestion is that you wait until your brain
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: is developed a little bit more so that you don't,
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: you know, so you don't get sucked into because you
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: don't know which junior you're gonna have. And I've thank god,
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: I've been blessed enough where they are aware and they're
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: so far making good choices. It's not like they don't
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: go to parties where they weren't really big party kids. Anyway,
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: they're confidence. It's interesting. But my son, he's he's pretty confident.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: He never like when I would say something, I would
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: something somebody said something about him, some girl that he
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: broke up, but he's like, I don't care. And then
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: I talked to there just about him. Like that's confidence
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: that he doesn't care what people think about him. He's
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: the kid that has been to a few parties now
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: and he literally bought a breathalyzer on Amazon just for
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: the hell of it. And see what you're all cao
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: like that's the way you know, Oh here's my boo.
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: When the I used to tell him, you're gonna get
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: peer pressure, and so the way that you get out
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: of it is you tell him I'm allergic to alcohol,
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: but go for it. Just be cool and be like yeah,
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: do what you want to do, or like maybe i'll
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: drive you'a'll be the driver, but don't like negated and
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: don't talk down because I know that pure pressure is
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: what sucks us all in. I know that's what sucked
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: me in, like when I was in high school, because
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: when I was his age, I was doing cocaine and
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: drinking and ecstasy and oh my god. I can't even like,
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: as a parent, like, oh my god. Unfortunately, I've heard
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: stories from women in the room where their kid ordered
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: some pot on what was the I don't know if
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: it was TikTok or whatever it was the time, and
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: it was laced with fentanyl and he died and the
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: super son was like eight. So just like that's the
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: kind of thing that now I'm telling my kids, like,
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: you no what you're going to get. So I've just prayed,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: right Michelle, like God that they just make good choices
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: and and and just kind of been as real as
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: possible with them to let them know that, like, whatever
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: choices you're making as an adult, you know, you could
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: go this way or you could go that, and you
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: are now young adult, so you get to make the
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: choices that are going to predict where that next future is.
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: And I have, unfortunately too many examples made this choice
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: and this is where they're at. Or even as a
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: parent who's married, still I tell them, Look, they have
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: lots of friends whose parents are divorced. I said, we
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: could have been divorced too, but mommy made a choice
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: to get sober and to and that choice literally changed
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: the trajectory of your life because your dad and I
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: are still married. Like it could have went one you know.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: So I basically just armed them with the tools and
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: then now I just pray. Now I just pray. But
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: so far, you know, so far, you know, it's it's
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: been okay. And but they do know, like I always
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: told them, like if anybody ever talks about it or
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: you know, they need you know, there's young people's I
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: tell them, there's young places for young people. They're not
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: all old parts like mommy. You know, there's there's parties
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: that are sober. Yeah, so we do we do a
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: lot of that. Now I just trust in God and
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: stay in my lane.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Kudos kudos to you, Katy all the way around. That
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: mean we're very This has been a great show, very informative.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: We thank you so much. Where can people learn more
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: about Felicity.
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: House Felicityhouse dot com. What's our website? Is it Felicity?
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: Do we add a number on it? Felicityhouse dot com.
• 41:36
  Speaker 6: Is Felicityhouse dot com or Felicityhouse dot org.
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: Okay, and then we're on Instagram underscore Felicity House, underscore
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: the ads line, and then we're on Facebook. If if
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: the young people still use that, when I know the
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: mom still use it. Facebook is Felicity House nineteen seventy four,
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: and all the events are all there, but the up
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: and coming one if you're in the LA area over
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: at Kabuki Kabok Lounge on the eighteenth is going to
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: be a fun laughing and mother.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's have some laughs there and let's check it out.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: And as a I'm so proud of myself now I've
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: learned an a lot about AI. I'm even teaching some people.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: So if you have no other way to do it,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: get on AI and just say what is Felicity House
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: and you'll learning about it. So that's another way to
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: do it. Well, thank you so much Kathy for joining us,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: and thank you Zoomer Moms for joining us. We so
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: appreciate it, and we want to thank our sponsors. We're
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: talking about you know what what you can do to
• 42:33
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  Speaker 1: And if you put Mom's Club in the code at checkout,
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: you will get fifteen percent off every month of your subscription.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: And you know what else is exciting here, uh Georgia.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: We have some moms who have been writing in and
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: sharing with us some of the products that they're working
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: on and that they have. And this lovely doctor Candice
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Janya sent us. She is an herbal she's an acupuncturist
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: and pain relief warrior and she has a product called
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: the Formula. She has the Formula for pain, which I
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: will absolutely try because you know, every once in a
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: while I have pain and skin and a product for
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: skin and it's all natural ingredients. It's based off of
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Chinese herbal medicine. I mean it is. It's incredible. I
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: can't wait to try it. So thank you doctor JANIEA
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: for sending it to us. Can't wait to try it
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: out and check us out. If you're looking for on AI,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: you can check us out there or at Inside the
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Mom's Club, on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and on our website.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Inside the Mom's Club dot com well as always Georgia.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: This has gone by way too fast, but thank you
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: so much for being part of it, and thank you
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: moms for joining us. We appreciate your time so much.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: We know your me time is precious and valuable. Thank
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: you so much for spending it with us. Remember our motto,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: if you don't laugh, sometimes you're gonna cry. Keep laughing, moms.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: We'll see you next time inside the Mom's Club. Bye
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: zoomer bye everyone. Thank you