Latest / A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart / Reasons You Have NO Friends
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: Ghosted. Left on read. FOMO. I think we can all
- 0:14Speaker 1: agree that sometimes there's something very antisocial about social media. Worse,
- 0:19Speaker 1: it can feel like the meaning of friendship is a
- 0:22Speaker 1: social media photo opportunity for the Instagram or TikTok feed.
- 0:26Speaker 1: Developing close, authentic relationships is becoming increasingly difficult due to
- 0:31Speaker 1: social isolation. which ironically is a consequence of excessive social
- 0:35Speaker 1: media use. However, there's a silver lining. Having no friends
- 0:41Speaker 1: is an opportunity to focus on yourself and prioritize self-growth.
- 0:46Speaker 1: So here are a few reasons why having no friends
- 0:49Speaker 1: can actually be a good thing. Let's begin. Starting over. Sometimes,
- 0:56Speaker 1: in order to grow, we need a reset. Literally. Well-known
- 1:00Speaker 1: psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung was quoted as saying, Solitude
- 1:05Speaker 1: is for me a fount of healing, which makes my
- 1:08Speaker 1: life worth living. Not having friends seems like a sad,
- 1:13Speaker 1: lonely existence, but not if you view it as solitude,
- 1:17Speaker 1: which is very different. Loneliness refers to a state of
- 1:20Speaker 1: feeling withdrawn, isolated, and disconnected even in the company of others.
- 1:27Speaker 1: Solitude is a state of being alone, which may or
- 1:30Speaker 1: may not be by choice. That's it. Solitude and loneliness
- 1:34Speaker 1: are not mutually exclusive because you can feel desperately lonely
- 1:38Speaker 1: in a room full of people or completely content and
- 1:42Speaker 1: full by yourself. Embracing solitude strengthens and empowers us because
- 1:46Speaker 1: we learn to seek validation from ourselves rather than seeking
- 1:50Speaker 1: it externally from other sources, such as people or even
- 1:54Speaker 1: social media. Solitude can be an opportunity to start over,
- 1:59Speaker 1: to do inner work to heal, learn, and rediscover yourself
- 2:03Speaker 1: in ways you never imagined. That is, if you use
- 2:06Speaker 1: that time wisely. Creativity boost. Friends can be our muses,
- 2:13Speaker 1: our sources of inspiration, but often, too much social interaction
- 2:17Speaker 1: consumes our time and can detract from our creative processes.
- 2:21Speaker 1: And let's face it, Most forms of creativity, such as writing, painting, drawing,
- 2:27Speaker 1: making music, etc., requires a certain degree of focus, which
- 2:31Speaker 1: is usually easier to achieve when we're alone. In a
- 2:35Speaker 1: research study conducted by the State University of New York
- 2:38Speaker 1: in Buffalo, out of 295 research studies, they found that
- 2:42Speaker 1: those who identified as unsociable or socially withdrawn reported higher
- 2:46Speaker 1: levels of creativity. The study also analyzed the motivations behind
- 2:51Speaker 1: those who identified as unsociable and found that the reasons
- 2:54Speaker 1: weren't all negative. Even though solitude is associated with negativity,
- 3:00Speaker 1: Julie Bowker, associate professor and one of the researchers of
- 3:03Speaker 1: the study explained, we have to understand why someone is
- 3:07Speaker 1: withdrawing to understand the associated risks and benefits. That's exactly it.
- 3:12Speaker 1: Solitude or having no friends isn't inherently a bad thing
- 3:16Speaker 1: at all. Depending on one's perspective and motivations, it can
- 3:20Speaker 1: actually have a positive impact. Perspective can also be changed.
- 3:25Speaker 1: So if you view having no friends as something negative,
- 3:28Speaker 1: maybe it's time to reconsider. Resilience and self-sufficiency. The truth
- 3:35Speaker 1: is relationships can be stressful and require a certain degree
- 3:39Speaker 1: of effort and time commitment. We can get so focused
- 3:43Speaker 1: on trying to please others that we forget about our
- 3:45Speaker 1: own needs. When we help and support our friends, we
- 3:49Speaker 1: expect them to return the favor when we're experiencing a hardship.
- 3:54Speaker 1: But that doesn't always happen. It's a very bitter pill
- 3:57Speaker 1: to swallow when we expect others to treat us the
- 4:00Speaker 1: way we've treated them. You know, just like the golden
- 4:03Speaker 1: rule says, right? Friends or no friends, it's always a
- 4:07Speaker 1: good idea to rely on yourself first before anyone else.
- 4:11Speaker 1: Because there's never a guarantee that someone is going to
- 4:14Speaker 1: come and save you when you're experiencing a problem. Not
- 4:18Speaker 1: having friends, whether it's by choice or not, can help
- 4:21Speaker 1: you develop the ability to problem-solve conflict and withstand and
- 4:25Speaker 1: overcome challenges in life, which is what we call resilience.
- 4:30Speaker 1: Even better, resilience builds self-sufficiency, which only makes you stronger
- 4:35Speaker 1: and more independent in the end. So even when someone
- 4:38Speaker 1: offers to help you with a problem or challenge, you'll
- 4:41Speaker 1: only accept if you want to, not because you need to. Self-reflection.
- 4:47Speaker 1: Going through a phase or period in your life where
- 4:50Speaker 1: you have no friends can actually be a learning lesson
- 4:53Speaker 1: in teaching you what you need and deserve from others.
- 4:57Speaker 1: Because you're learning about yourself in the process. Often we
- 5:01Speaker 1: fall into a trap of staying in toxic relationships, which
- 5:05Speaker 1: includes friendships because we're so afraid of being alone. This
- 5:09Speaker 1: fear develops into a scarcity mindset where you falsely believe
- 5:13Speaker 1: that you can't do any better than the people you
- 5:16Speaker 1: already have in your life. even if they mistreat or
- 5:20Speaker 1: neglect you. This fear keeps you in unsatisfying relationships that
- 5:24Speaker 1: you fooled yourself into thinking are better than nothing. It's not,
- 5:29Speaker 1: it never is. Learning to be alone and not having
- 5:32Speaker 1: friends can help you develop self-esteem and self-love by creating
- 5:36Speaker 1: a set of standards for the types of relationships you
- 5:39Speaker 1: want in your life and not accepting anything less. So
- 5:44Speaker 1: when you're ready to start making new friends at some point,
- 5:46Speaker 1: if you want to, of course, you'll know what to
- 5:49Speaker 1: look for in others so that you can develop healthy
- 5:51Speaker 1: relationships that work for you. So the point is, having
- 5:56Speaker 1: no friends is a matter of making lemonade out of lemons.
- 5:59Speaker 1: Instead of viewing a lack of friends as a weakness,
- 6:02Speaker 1: you can transform it into a test of strength and self-discovery,
- 6:06Speaker 1: as well as enjoying the beauty that solitude has to offer.
- 6:10Speaker 1: And yes, having a support system is important, but that
- 6:14Speaker 1: doesn't always come in the form of friendships. For some people,
- 6:18Speaker 1: having friends isn't a priority because they get their support
- 6:21Speaker 1: from family, mental health professionals, romantic relationships, or even their pets.
- 6:27Speaker 1: Just remember, you're always valuable if you value yourself. You
- 6:31Speaker 1: don't need others to validate that. So what do you
- 6:35Speaker 1: guys think? Please sound off in the comments and as always,
- 6:39Speaker 1: have a wonderful day.