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Self-Love vs. Real Love: Can We Feel Loved Without Others? · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: The concept of self-love has been around since the 50s. Today,
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  Speaker 1: self-love looks a little different. We've become familiar with self-love
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  Speaker 1: practices like self-forgiveness and affirmations, but the question lingers. Do
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  Speaker 1: these practices truly fulfill our emotional needs? The concept of
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  Speaker 1: love in the modern world has a lot of contradictions.
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  Speaker 1: With technology, we've brought ourselves closer together than ever before. Yet,
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  Speaker 1: people are lonelier than ever. Sometimes, as we become separated
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  Speaker 1: from friends and family... We rely on ourselves to feel loved.
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  Speaker 1: But can self-love be enough? How love has changed. The
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  Speaker 1: friends and partners we end up with have always depended
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  Speaker 1: on the communities we are part of. This hasn't changed
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  Speaker 1: with technology. But the problems that we encounter are different.
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  Speaker 1: The game of love has changed. In some ways, we
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  Speaker 1: are forced to be contradictory. If we want to prove
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  Speaker 1: that we love ourselves, we might post a picture of
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  Speaker 1: ourselves on Instagram, which, in turn, feeds us the external
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  Speaker 1: validation of others. This raises the question, If we love ourselves,
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  Speaker 1: why do we need external validation? Experimental psychologist Elizabeth Gallinari
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  Speaker 1: asked that same question. She found that the correlation between
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  Speaker 1: the likes we receive and our self-esteem is actually very minor.
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  Speaker 1: This is likely because the act of self-love on social
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  Speaker 1: media has little to do with self-validation and more to
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  Speaker 1: do with the process of building strength and independence. In
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  Speaker 1: other words, self-love is a process. Loving yourself openly is
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  Speaker 1: just a part of the process and doesn't necessarily portray
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  Speaker 1: the end result of being fully content within yourself. If
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  Speaker 1: self-love is a never-ending, adapting process, it can't replace the
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  Speaker 1: love we need from others. The Shape of Love Love
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  Speaker 1: can take many shapes. Ancient Greek philosophers broke it down
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  Speaker 1: into unconditional love, familial love, romantic love, guest love, platonic love,
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  Speaker 1: and self-love. Over time, this has been simplified and understood
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  Speaker 1: by psychologists as four types of love. Platonic love, erotic
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  Speaker 1: or passionate love, familial love, and a love of mankind.
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  Speaker 1: You may notice that this list excludes self-love. Self-love cannot
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  Speaker 1: fulfill us like external love, making it difficult to categorize
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  Speaker 1: it in the same way. We need the benefits of platonic, familial,
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  Speaker 1: and romantic love such as validation, stress relief, and emotional support. Clearly...
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  Speaker 1: External love comes with a lot of benefits, but as
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  Speaker 1: those of us who do feel lonely or worry about
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  Speaker 1: being loved know, sometimes all we really need is a
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  Speaker 1: loving hug and that can come from any loved one.
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  Speaker 1: Physical affection has been found to not only soothe us
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  Speaker 1: and make us happy, but it creates beneficial cognitive and
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  Speaker 1: neurobiological changes too. Giving us all of those benefits with
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  Speaker 1: one simple act. We can run a warm bath, treat
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  Speaker 1: ourselves with retail therapy, or take ourselves on solo dates,
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  Speaker 1: but none of this can replace what real physical affection
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  Speaker 1: can do for us. Self-love or narcissism. Having a passion
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  Speaker 1: for yourself can be great. You need a passion for
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  Speaker 1: yourself if you want to believe that you can achieve
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  Speaker 1: all of your goals and be who you want to be.
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  Speaker 1: The scales can tip to the side of narcissism when
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  Speaker 1: your self-love depends in comparison. When your love comes from
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  Speaker 1: being more intelligent or more beautiful than others, it is
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  Speaker 1: more likely to be narcissism. This is another reason why
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  Speaker 1: self-love isn't enough. Self-love can come from narcissism or become
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  Speaker 1: narcissism if it is your only source of love. This
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  Speaker 1: is why it is so important to extend your love
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  Speaker 1: to others. To love and to be loved. Love is
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  Speaker 1: a transaction. In self-love, there is little to lose or gain.
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  Speaker 1: We need the love of others just as much as
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  Speaker 1: we need people to offer our love to. When we
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  Speaker 1: love someone, we forego our own desires for their benefit.
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  Speaker 1: You might think this will be a distraction and you
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  Speaker 1: will be worse off by prioritizing other people. However, romantic love,
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  Speaker 1: in particular, can increase our motivation and give us direction
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  Speaker 1: in life. Ironically, being loved can also improve our self-esteem
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  Speaker 1: more than self-love can. Unless you're intentionally cutting yourself off
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  Speaker 1: from people, we typically don't choose to go unloved. It's
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  Speaker 1: possible friends don't come easily to you or family has issues,
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  Speaker 1: but the reality is that there are ways to find love,
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  Speaker 1: to make new friends, to make a new family. Love
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  Speaker 1: just needs to be shared. If you feel like you
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  Speaker 1: have no one but yourself to love or be loved,
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  Speaker 1: you can start by making new friends, reconnecting with old ones,
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  Speaker 1: or even getting a pet. Having love in your heart
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  Speaker 1: is a good thing no matter what. If we're going
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  Speaker 1: to look after ourselves, we need to share love with others.
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  Speaker 1: If this video taught you something new or gave you
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  Speaker 1: something to think about, leave a like and subscribe to
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