Latest / Fandomonium! A Fandom Comedy Game Show / Middle Earth 2: The Hobbit - Bae's Horn vs Hobbit Holes

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Middle Earth 2: The Hobbit - Bae's Horn vs Hobbit Holes · Fandomonium! A Fandom Comedy Game Show

• 0:18
  Hello, and welcome to Gates Leapers, the pop culture game show that shines
• 0:22
  a spotlight onto everyone's favorite fandoms. I'm your games master and sleeping dragon with
• 0:27
  a taste for gold, Matt Watson. But a games master needs games,
• 0:31
  and games need players. So our first team today. She is a cast
• 0:35
  member and fiber artist. You can follow her journey on Insta at half double
• 0:39
  docent. She's precise and her stitches aim and true. Our barred the Bowman
• 0:44
  tonight it's Generarygan. Oh, what an intro. Hello, and she's a
• 0:49
  podcaster who works in STEM, which this week stands for seriously Tolkien. Easy
• 0:54
  mate, she knows more than you and is over it. Oh, l
• 0:58
  Rond, it's ultra another phenomenal intro. Hope and I can live up to
• 1:03
  the hype. Welcome back, Jen, Welcome as always, Audra. How
• 1:08
  are you both? I'm feeling good, don't. It's a sunny day.
• 1:12
  Anytime we're in Middle Earth is a happy time. Yes, it's great.
• 1:18
  It's always sunny in Middle Earth. Nothing bad happened that has ever happened in
• 1:22
  Middle Earth. What a crossovers sonny in Middle Earth? Now it is hip
• 1:26
  through in Middle Earth. Super all right, that gives me a gay,
• 1:30
  my dear. Actually, just write that down. All right. We'll get
• 1:34
  straight to talking about Middle Earth. This is our second trip into Middle Earth.
• 1:38
  We did a Lord of the Rings episode a few years ago. This
• 1:41
  one is the Hobbit. We're talking specifically the Hobbit, the Hobbit book,
• 1:46
  the Hobbit movies, anything sort of related to that that time. But you
• 1:49
  know, if we sprinkle in stuff from outside of then it's also fine as
• 1:53
  well. This is generally a Tolkien fan episode. And with that, Audra,
• 1:57
  are you a Tolkien fan? Oh? Yeah. I grew up with
• 2:00
  Lord of the Rings in a pretty pretty religious household. But the only fantasy
• 2:05
  type of things that were allowed was C. S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia
• 2:10
  and Lord of the Rings. That was what was allowed, and I loved
• 2:15
  it, so I I went hard for Lord of the Rings to this very
• 2:20
  day. Nice. It's good that you were allowed some some good stuff,
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  you know, one of more Christian than the other out of the two of
• 2:27
  them. Yeah, definitely the Lord of the Rings being market Ye, it's
• 2:30
  the Lord of the Rings. It's not the one with the Jesus Lion.
• 2:32
  Yeah, yeah, it has the word Lord in it right there in the
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  title, And Jen, what about you? Are you a Tolkien fan fan
• 2:42
  of the Hobbit. I'm one of those like adjacent fans where like I love
• 2:46
  looking into the window and being around people that super loved the franchise. My
• 2:51
  Chris, my partner, one of the biggest Tolkien Lord of the Rings fans.
• 2:54
  You'll find crew at this table obviously friends and lovers of the franchise.
• 3:01
  It was not my main franchise in our house, so it was kind of
• 3:05
  again, just kind of adjacent. I had like seen the movies on like
• 3:09
  TBS, getting caught into like bits and pieces for the commercial breaks, but
• 3:15
  nothing too intense until Mary and Chris and it needing to be a part of
• 3:20
  my homework to be his partner. Do I like it? Yes? Am
• 3:24
  I a superman? No? But have I done a lot of stuff around
• 3:29
  the Lord of the Rings? Absolutely? Yeah, No, that's a that's
• 3:31
  a perfect answer. That is the balance between the two. Absolutely. So
• 3:37
  it seems like you got balance knowledge or draws the expert Jen, the more
• 3:40
  casual, reluctant, knowledgeable person. Jen's going to help me not get too
• 3:45
  far in the weeds. Sure, yeah, because that can sometimes happen on
• 3:49
  this game that barely tests your trivia. Okay, but I think you're going
• 3:53
  to need some opponents otherwise this wouldn't be the same format as it normally is.
• 3:58
  So let's meet us Secon team. He is an actor, writer,
• 4:01
  director, and producer, and you can read his novel The Last of the
• 4:04
  Giant Fire Lizards, available right now where books are sold. The author of
• 4:10
  Tonight's Home our very own Bilbo bagins It's Christopher John feather Off. Hey,
• 4:15
  thank you, Hello, Chris, Welcome, Hi, Thanks, glad to
• 4:18
  be here, and he is a podcaster and small business owner you can follow
• 4:23
  at Studio Munchie on Insta right now. He provides you with food, a
• 4:27
  chance to rest, and presumably will one day transform into a bear. It's
• 4:31
  Jason. Hello, Hello, Welcome as always, Jason, welcome for the
• 4:38
  first time. Chris, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.
• 4:42
  How you both doing. I'm doing great. I'm doing great. This
• 4:45
  is a perfect day to talk about some hobbits. I'm equally excited. I'm
• 4:49
  a bit tired because owning your own small business, you know, I'm trying
• 4:53
  to get a small hoard of gold. Myself looking so great, so hopefully
• 5:00
  this is a win. Hopeful, hopefully this is a w for us this
• 5:01
  weekend. Oh you need this w This wins for the business. Chris,
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  I'm gonna I'm gonna start with you. Your book obviously sounds like it has
• 5:14
  some Lord of the Rings sort of Tolkien inspired influence there. So are you
• 5:19
  Are you a Tolkien fan? Are you a Hoppit fan? Yeah, yeah,
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  I'm a pretty big fan. For me. It all kind of started
• 5:26
  with the animated back in the day. Oh nice Rankin and Bass. Perhaps
• 5:31
  you've heard some of the soundtrack. One of the worst things bost Adventure.
• 5:42
  I don't know why I loved it as a kid, stuff like that in
• 5:46
  it, but man, yeah, that that thing just took me to a
• 5:48
  whole other world. I think I even had I think I like one of
• 5:51
  those little Golden read books as a kid where they summarized the whole thing in
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  like five pages. So it was like billbo gets called on, Ernie Bilboll
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  goes home, and you're like, oh, well, I think I had
• 6:03
  a little record with it, and you can hear the voices, and I
• 6:06
  think it was the same voices as the cartoons. So you get John Houston
• 6:10
  as Gandolf, which is only can be topped by Ian mccallis. Yeah.
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  So yeah, and then read the book as a kid, and yeah that
• 6:19
  was the end. I'll be all of everything. I'm ashamed to say that.
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  Then I found out, oh three more books like yeah, cracked open
• 6:28
  the first page and I was just a little too young for the Lord of
• 6:30
  the Rings. I went on, I can't. I put it down and
• 6:34
  promised myself I'd go back as an adult and watch it and read through it
• 6:38
  again. But then, you know, Peter Jackson made the films. I
• 6:41
  was like, well, that's pretty good. They are on the TVR pile.
• 6:47
  Someday I will actually get to reading The Lord of the Rings. Absolutely,
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  Yeah, it's it's pretty much like The Hobbit, just with more descriptions
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  of trees. Yes, it fills out, the fills out the pages that
• 6:59
  bigger words. Yeah, a love more songs too. Yeah, the book
• 7:04
  is like a third songs or like history lore. Yeah that's real A super
• 7:17
  fan, right, you're the one who loves read through. How many years
• 7:23
  have you been alive? I've read it at least six or seven times.
• 7:28
  Well, yeah, it's it's a bad habit. No, it's no,
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  it's a good. Hobbit just said so much joy into my sister. I
• 7:42
  mean, Chris, that's fantastic. I'm glad you fell in love with the
• 7:44
  Hobbit as a as a kid reading that book. It's such a good it's
• 7:46
  a good kid's book. Yeah, it's great introduction to fantasy. But it
• 7:50
  feels like you've got some tokn knowledge and that you'll be uh yeah, you
• 7:55
  know, help out. Jason. Are you a you're a Lord of the
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  Rings fan? I am very well, I am a fan, I'll say
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  that right. But I I enjoy asking my friends around me, Hey,
• 8:07
  what's go What's what's the deal with this guy? What is he doing?
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  Why is he speaking so softly? What's a melchor? You know? I
• 8:13
  have I have taken my interest level, I think to the peak because I'm
• 8:18
  surrounded by lovely people who can act as my Google for me, which honestly
• 8:22
  is just irresponsible. But I would say my Lord of the Rings journey echoes
• 8:26
  very much that of Chris when he was a child. I too, hope
• 8:31
  to one day grow up and be able to read the books. Because I
• 8:33
  tried Chapter one, got through it, Chapter two stopped couldn't do it.
• 8:37
  Oh yeah, I can't read and this is yeah, yeah, one day,
• 8:45
  I'm I'm hoping. But until then, the move The movies are lovely,
• 8:48
  aren't they? They really are keeping absolutely How fortunate it is that this
• 8:56
  is going to test the Hobbit and not the Lord of the Rings. Yeah,
• 9:00
  so you know I have only read the Hobbit once. Let's go.
• 9:05
  We might have an edge. I think it's going to be a good game.
• 9:09
  Okay, teams, an old man has just left a strange and permanent
• 9:13
  looking mark on your door. So while we wait for a contractor to arrive
• 9:18
  to buff that graffiti off your grandmother's oak door, I'd like each bed to
• 9:22
  come up with a Hobbit themed team name. Please. Let's start with Jen
• 9:26
  and Audrey. Got any ideas? I have a couple? I say,
• 9:30
  go ahead. I did consult the resident expert in my household. I yeas,
• 9:35
  so I do have a couple, but they are Chris ideas so odro
• 9:39
  just so. If I would, I was going to say, as two
• 9:45
  people who do fiber arts. If this was a Lord of the Rings episode
• 9:48
  instead of a Hobbit episode, I was going to say that we could be
• 9:52
  the Rosy Marinos instead of the Rosy Cottons. I do want to get that
• 9:56
  out of the way, as it's not of the rings, because we both
• 10:01
  do fiber arts and it could be cotton. I mean, we use cotton,
• 10:05
  but Rosie Marino's adorable. I love that. It's a good it's a
• 10:07
  good little reference to be fair. And then the like one of just barrel
• 10:13
  riders I thought was good, uh, riding barrels. But my favorite as
• 10:18
  our team is a like Taylor Swift and Fantasy super Fans I put together instead
• 10:24
  of dragon madness, dragon sadness. Okay, so the dragon sadness that they're
• 10:33
  sad, right, it just came out. It's fine if I know anything
• 10:41
  tangentially from being adjacent to Taylor Swift, it feels appropriate. There's some joy,
• 10:46
  there's some joy there, but there's also some sadness, the full spectrum
• 10:52
  in the Taylor Swift episode of for Sure Love that. So the big idea
• 10:56
  from Chris, I love dragon sadness. It feels very apropoll So Chris's idea
• 11:05
  was the bae ORNs like ORNs sure, because yeah, we were trying to
• 11:16
  like go through all the names and insert what I would normally put into my
• 11:18
  team names. I was also trying to fit smut into something where small blaz
• 11:24
  was Yeah, I don't know, like neither of us are like big stoners,
• 11:33
  so it felt disingenuous. But I was thinking Arkan stoners. Either of
• 11:37
  us were big stoners, but that so that didn't So I think that baiorn
• 11:41
  is Baiorn's is good cool or the Bay's orn, Bay's orn, Bay's horn
• 11:52
  by apostle yea, so like I am referencing my bay's horn horn. I
• 12:00
  mean, look, I absolutely get it because I was part of the conversation,
• 12:05
  not out of context. No longer sounds like horn. It's close enough,
• 12:11
  it's close enough drunken meat could he either one you know Bay's horn,
• 12:18
  bays horns. There's also like you blow into the horn and it makes big
• 12:24
  sound, call army horns. I eliminated all connecting words. Are you sure
• 12:31
  you're not? We'll find out amazing? Okay, and better about my team
• 12:37
  names? All right? And with that, Jason, Chris, do you
• 12:43
  have any ideas for team names you want to go first day? Yeah?
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  Because they're gonna be bad, Chris, So thank you very much for letting
• 12:48
  me go forward. So I've got this is a team name again. Men
• 12:52
  will literally sing in baritone around a fireplace about mountains instead of going to therapy.
• 12:56
  Sure, team name. Write that down, you idiot. There's the
• 13:01
  fifth Army. Because something that's really bothered me about the third movie, other
• 13:07
  than the obvious reason its existence. I swear to you, Tolkien fans cannot
• 13:11
  get it straight to me what the fifth Army is? Is it the worms?
• 13:15
  Is it the warks? Is it the goblins who are different, indistinct
• 13:18
  from the Orcs. I don't tell me, Matt, No, no,
• 13:20
  I do know what you're saying. I was going to agree with you.
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  Okay, this is the thing I have noticed as well, where like I
• 13:24
  know that canonically is but different Tolkien fans do say a different fifth yea for
• 13:28
  the for the Battle of five Armies. Get it straight, gang, get
• 13:31
  it straight. And so I'd like to be the fifth Army and then Krusty
• 13:37
  birdpooh. Something else that's always bothered me because I get it Ratigas is a
• 13:41
  man of nature. Sure, but what are you doing? Man? That's
• 13:45
  like right on your eyebrow, like clean up? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 13:48
  take care of your soul. That's crazy. That's just so your One
• 13:54
  of your teammate offerings is Krusty Bird pooh. Yeah, we'rus poo Chris.
• 13:58
  Do you have any ideas? Maybe it does. I might be able to
• 14:03
  beat Krusty Bird poop. I don't know if I can top Arkanstons. That's
• 14:07
  pretty great. That's that's dope. No, that's good. But for me,
• 14:11
  uh, I started thinking, you know, in honor of ranking and
• 14:16
  mass, who were the ones who basically took my Tolkien virginity? That's one
• 14:24
  way to put it. I thought, why not call ourselves after one of
• 14:28
  the worst songs ever written, the greatest adventurers? Okay, the greatest,
• 14:33
  Then maybe we should call ourselves the Hobbit holes. Oh I like that a
• 14:37
  lot. Holes is popular amongst our friend group. We love everybody loves holes
• 14:46
  exactly. That's all we're talking about. Okay, keep dive. So the
• 14:54
  hobbit holes. I do like the I'd like the Hobbit holes. I love
• 14:56
  the story about your v card. That's great, but I got to give
• 15:00
  it up to hobbit holes. You got to give it up to you do
• 15:01
  have to give it up to hobbit horns. Oh wow, you've made the
• 15:07
  names standard as well. What of sexual stuff going on? Welcome to because
• 15:15
  it's because it's flipped, you know, sure, for sure, absolutely,
• 15:18
  that's that's that's progress. Genuinely, men do not have holes, So I
• 15:24
  feel speak for yourself. Okay, just a closed oval gets in or gets
• 15:33
  out. I'd like to remind our listeners this is an early afternoon recording.
• 15:39
  Drinking hasn't even started yet. Look for yourself, all right. And if
• 15:46
  you're listening to this and thinking, well, I'm along for the journey,
• 15:50
  but could you make it a little less unexpected, please don't worry. Here's
• 15:54
  order with a little segment we like to call passing knowledge. The Hobbit is
• 16:00
  a children's fantasy novel published in nineteen thirty seven by Lord of the Rings author
• 16:06
  Juror Tolkien. Set in Middle Earth, the story follows homebody hobbit Bilbo Baggins
• 16:11
  on an unexpected journey with thirteen dwarves and a wizard aka an absolute sausage fest.
• 16:19
  Too many dicks off to era bor too many dicks. Bilbo's episodic quest
• 16:25
  sees him encounter trolls, goblins, elves, orcs, more dwarfs, wargs,
• 16:32
  gollums and smaugs from Gollum, he gets a magic ring, which will
• 16:37
  become more important when Juror can be bothered to write that other book. And
• 16:41
  from Smaug he gets the nickname barrel Rider, which is badass. The Hobbit
• 16:47
  was adapted in nineteen seventy seven as an animated TV movie by Rankin Bass,
• 16:52
  which I assume are a pair of fish who are also animators, and more
• 16:56
  recently in the early twenty tens as a's inematic trilogy by a reluctant Peter Jackson.
• 17:03
  A key building block of the modern fantasy genre, The Hobbit is a
• 17:07
  story about embracing adventure with wits and common sense. And over the next ninety
• 17:12
  minutes we can promise wits, but not a lot of common sense. Let's
• 17:17
  play gate leapers. Thank you Audra. Okay, just before we get to
• 17:23
  today's games, I've asked each player to bring in a muse, something that
• 17:27
  inspires them or something they love from this particular fandom. The Hobbit is inspiring
• 17:33
  to me because it taught me that theft is okay, providing it's from people
• 17:37
  who sleep on literal piles of money. So that's dragons, Scrooge McDuck and
• 17:41
  forty three percent of old billionaires, according to the latest study. I just
• 17:47
  made up, Audra. We'll start with you. What's inspiring you from the
• 17:51
  world of the Hobbit. I am inspired by the care that Tolkien uses to
• 17:59
  describe his wife's hole. Okay, oh, not a nasty, dirty hole
• 18:06
  filled with the ends of worms in an oozy smell, nor yet a dry
• 18:10
  bear sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down or to eat. It
• 18:14
  was a hobbit hole, and that means comfort. By the end of by
• 18:18
  the end of the sentence, I did realize it was something else. I
• 18:19
  think. I think our train of thought, because we've had some dirty references
• 18:23
  earlier, did get me on the wrong path. But I'm here now,
• 18:29
  and I am just inspired by how Tolkien didn't describe his wife's hole no snow.
• 18:37
  Yes, he did say not a lot, not yeah, not easy
• 18:41
  or sandy. It's it's not yeah, it's not there's there's not no chairs.
• 18:48
  The bit falls apart if you look into it too much. But it's
• 18:52
  a it's a it's a good bit. Imagining that Catholic writing. We didn't
• 19:00
  know that he was a smut writer. We didn't know. But yeah,
• 19:02
  secretly started all, Yeah, the revolution we've seen now, it's why it's
• 19:08
  AO three because it's the third Age. That's what it stands for. Yeah,
• 19:14
  Order third, very good, very good knowledge. But I am going
• 19:18
  to move on from your muse because I appreciate that's it, that it's inspiring.
• 19:21
  But I don't know what else to say. Let's let's move on to
• 19:26
  your bays Horn teammates, Jen, what's inspiring you from the Hobbit? So,
• 19:30
  first of all, it was the first fantasy book I ever read.
• 19:33
  It was a fourth full seventh grade summer assignment to reread The Hobbit. Everything
• 19:38
  went over my head. I caught nothing is a decent book. But I
• 19:45
  do remember that it was my first like true fantasy book, which set me
• 19:48
  on a course later on to not reread it, to understand it or breathe
• 19:55
  the Lord of the Rings. But you know, fantasy genre jacent. But
• 20:00
  the Hobbit was the reason that Hobbit in in New Zealand got put in permanently
• 20:06
  as an installation because they had pulled down all of the Hobbit stuff from doing
• 20:11
  the Shire in the Lord of the Rings. It was only like a couple
• 20:14
  doors left and the tree and they left the property as is, and then
• 20:18
  when they went back to film The Hobbit, they were like, why don't
• 20:21
  we just make money from this and put it as a permanent installation to enjoy
• 20:25
  it. So the movie set truly is incredibly gorgeous. Like going there last
• 20:30
  year, a it's adorable watch your partner be very excited about really cool things.
• 20:36
  But truly the care and attention that was put into the shire and just
• 20:42
  generally like seeing Bilbo's house and the tree and like the green dragon in and
• 20:49
  the all of it, it was so stunning. Everything was so attention to
• 20:52
  detail, and I think just having experienced that is something that's going to be
• 20:59
  like so special for us, ever so much so that you can't see it
• 21:02
  if you're listening. But christ and I got matching tattoos of a marigold,
• 21:07
  which was artwork that was found in one of the Hobbit holes that you're able
• 21:10
  to walk through to like commemorate the experience, not just from that but also
• 21:17
  going to New Zealand in general. But it will always part of hobbiton will
• 21:21
  always live with me forever, and it's just it's a really cool experience.
• 21:27
  I'm also in New Zealand, Jade, I'm as Hobbit as I can get.
• 21:33
  Yeah, take taking adventures in real life, always inspiring and yeah,
• 21:38
  and now having like a little memory of Hobbiton always there with you, that
• 21:41
  is incredible. I'm I mean obviously, like it goes out saying we're all
• 21:45
  jealous that you went to New Zealand, Hobbiton, but congratulations, well done.
• 21:52
  We hope we can all make the pilgrimage one day. Okay, moving
• 21:56
  on over to the Hobbit Holes'll begin with Chris, what's inspiring you from the
• 22:03
  world of the Hobbits. I mean a lot of stuff. My book is
• 22:07
  highly influenced by it. You'll kind of see that in a way. It's
• 22:10
  almost it's a different perspective on that world. But I would be the first
• 22:14
  person to use the me segment to plug something. It wouldn't plug my own.
• 22:18
  Yeah, it's too bad it's audio, because Yeah, I think the
• 22:26
  thing and I love Jen's story because it's like the love of Hobbit and everything,
• 22:32
  even people that are adjacent like that. It it just seems to be
• 22:36
  everywhere and it feels so real and thick sometimes that I love that, And
• 22:40
  that's to me the part of Tolkien's world in general, and I think this
• 22:42
  flows through all the Lord of the Ring stuff too. Is just the goodness.
• 22:47
  There's there's like a real want and a drive to like, we must
• 22:52
  do good, even if it means sacrificing everything, and that's that, like
• 22:55
  this is the point of my life. Then I sacrifice to do the good
• 22:57
  thing so everybody else can on. And you know that that piece of it
• 23:02
  and that theme is always just you know, I think it probably informed me
• 23:06
  as a human being, maybe even as much as an artist of like,
• 23:10
  yep, this is how it's supposed to be. And I you know,
• 23:12
  like I feel that from you guys too, Like there are people that love
• 23:15
  Tolkiens seem to be warm, loving, like let the right thing people.
• 23:21
  So I think, to me, that's what greater message can you send to
• 23:25
  the world, Like that's that's yeah, you know. So I tried to
• 23:27
  put a lot of that into my my stuff too, and I you know,
• 23:30
  helped push that message along and kind of keep that spirit of Tolkien a
• 23:33
  lot. That's the thing that's always drawn me back and back. I think
• 23:37
  it also makes all the you know, even flaws with the movies and whatever
• 23:41
  but it makes the books and all the you know, all the entertainment that
• 23:45
  has come from it so rewatchable, you know, feeling like something is hugging
• 23:52
  you every time you pop it in or watch it or read it, Like,
• 23:55
  I mean, what gets better than that? Absolutely, I don't know
• 23:59
  if anybody's else hit hit that. In my world of like entertainment, it's
• 24:03
  hard to think of something else where you just go, yeah, that was
• 24:04
  like, that's a nice it's a comfortable hobbit hole. Absolutely is that is
• 24:11
  a beautiful muse. Yeah. The positive spirit that runs through all of Tolkien's
• 24:15
  work works, as you say, to to to do good, to be
• 24:19
  better, to make those to make those sacrifices and carry those burdens. Yeah,
• 24:23
  it's a it's it's a good it's a good series. And like you
• 24:26
  say, yeah, I've also found that the Tolkien fans tend to be like
• 24:32
  the thing we love is like a warm hug. Yeah, it's it's not
• 24:36
  like a it's not a very aggressive fandom. It's quite like a relaxed,
• 24:38
  academic kind of fandom. I think. Yeah, yeah, I feel like
• 24:41
  the Star Wars guys. Yeah, Jason only walk Lovers. Only those guys
• 24:51
  I feel like growing up. When I was younger, I was like,
• 24:53
  oh, I would want to be an Elf and they're so cool and they
• 24:57
  have the bows and this stuff. As an adult hobbit, Hobbit, they
• 25:03
  are so happy. They take care of everyone in their community. It's a
• 25:08
  walkable area, like walkable community. Every day is someone's birthday and you get
• 25:15
  a gift. This is perfect. It's utopia. Yeah, perfect if Look
• 25:21
  if you guys have delected al goal. It seriously could have been let us
• 25:26
  take over the set at New Zealand and and just some guy's farm, pull
• 25:33
  together a little cash, we could probably talk abou anything. Well, this
• 25:37
  has become very wholesome. And then we went, can we forcibly eject this
• 25:41
  man off of his property? I did hear an argument for Hobbits as the
• 25:47
  c I A Gandalf just pulls them in as like secret operatives to change government
• 25:53
  stripe point point. I was like, oh, oh no, the communities
• 26:00
  are still walkable, okay. And last, but of course not lease Jason,
• 26:08
  what is inspiring you from the world of the Hobbits. Oh man,
• 26:11
  I wish I had a funny one to end off on. But mine's mine's
• 26:15
  semi sentimental. Well, it's a two fur. It's a two fur.
• 26:18
  It's been a while since I've name dropped on this show, but I did
• 26:22
  meet the very first person I ever met celebrity wise and and as part of
• 26:26
  a production of Anything, was Manu Bennett, who plays Aggzog the defiler U
• 26:32
  or Uh. And he's a very cool guy to talk to. Uh spent
• 26:37
  a lot of time talking to me. Smelled gray like mine flesh man talk
• 26:45
  about man flesh. But he was a very sweet guy who is a Maori
• 26:49
  descent and talked a lot about what being an actor of Maried descent meant to
• 26:53
  him and and how he continued that into his next production that he was filming
• 26:59
  at time as well. It was filming New Zealand. Stuff like that.
• 27:02
  So very sweet guy, very cool guy, very cool villain as well.
• 27:04
  I like that. And then my connection to the Hobbit and what is actually
• 27:10
  inspired me today is like I was too young to watch Lord of Rings when
• 27:14
  it came out in theaters, but these movies came out as I was in
• 27:18
  high school and I lived in a very small city, not as small of
• 27:22
  the town as Udra, but our only movie theater was walking distance from our
• 27:26
  school, so me and a friend once a year every year. It was
• 27:29
  a weird tradition of ours, but throughout our years in high school, we
• 27:32
  would walk in the blistering cold, like literally negative forty two degrees, watch
• 27:37
  the fucking watch the Hobbit movies in imax and it was just and then eat
• 27:41
  Denny's afterwards because that was also next to the theater, which really late at
• 27:47
  night for us teenagers with no cars and stuff like that. So it was
• 27:49
  just a very nice memory to watch all three of these movies with a friend
• 27:55
  and you know, making it an event as it were, because it was
• 27:57
  where event like movies. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, for sure, a
• 28:00
  big big deal out of them, especially when they were like it's a trilogy
• 28:04
  now, yeah yeah, but that is that is beautiful though, And I
• 28:10
  always like, I think, I like slightly romanticize your time in Alaska,
• 28:12
  even if it was just like regular life for you, because, like from
• 28:15
  someone who comes from a place where nowhere ever gets that cold, it can
• 28:21
  only seem like this far off magical land where everyone has these twenty four hour
• 28:25
  sunsets and you know, watching Hobbit marathons. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 28:30
  twenty four hours sunsets twenty four hour like night times as well. Yeah,
• 28:33
  yeah, it's a real it's a real split between Hobbit and like the freaking
• 28:38
  City of the Dead whichever that was sure? Yeah, yes, gets a
• 28:41
  little chilly. Yeah, oh but that's that's good. It's a good inspiration.
• 28:47
  Nice. Nice for you to do the sentimental one and for Ultra to
• 28:48
  do the funny one. How about that? Yeah, little role reversal.
• 28:53
  I love it. Okay, I'm feeling suitably inspired by all of your muses.
• 28:57
  So let's leave the comforts of home behind. Mind and embody. The
• 29:00
  every man who is out of their depth shouldn't be too hard for this group
• 29:03
  as we go on an adventure into round one. O, my little hanky,
• 29:07
  my little hang. Round one is our game called spell Slots. It's
• 29:18
  our spelling b game with a twist. Let's hope you brought your spelling a
• 29:22
  game. Yeah, be honest, I just you'll be good at this round
• 29:33
  then. So there we go. Just like in D and D, I
• 29:41
  have levels of spell slots in front of me, four levels to be precise.
• 29:45
  In turn, I will give each of our teams a Hobbit themed word.
• 29:48
  They'll then have to spell that word one letter at a time, back
• 29:52
  and forth between teammates. If they make a mistake early on, they must
• 29:56
  keep going until they feel the word is complete. You'll score between one and
• 30:00
  three points, depending on how far through the word you make it. And
• 30:04
  obviously level one spell slots are easier than the tricky level four spell slots.
• 30:10
  Okay, so we are going to begin with some standard locations from the Hobbit
• 30:15
  just places and therefore words that should be familiar to any Middle Earth fan.
• 30:19
  So we're going to begin with bays Horn and your word is hobbiton. Your
• 30:26
  word is hobbiton. So who would like to start? Start? Can you
• 30:32
  can start? For? I know the second letter B B I T O
• 30:44
  N hobbiton correct three points. Type that into Google Maps. Very you picked
• 30:55
  your pin up really early, so I was like, I am way confused.
• 31:02
  Everything is like, there's a Q in here or something? Is there?
• 31:04
  Not two bees? What's happening? No? You got it? Hobbits
• 31:08
  and the two bees is the only place to potentially get tripped up, but
• 31:11
  you know, not for a Middle Earth. Come on, all right,
• 31:15
  the hobbit holes here is your word. It is also a place from Middle
• 31:18
  Earth? And crucial to the Hobbit. Your word is riven Dell. Oh,
• 31:23
  riven Dell. Who would like to start? Yeah, yeah, R
• 31:27
  I V E N D E L. Yeah, that I had to do
• 31:38
  the same thing L. And that that's it. That's it. That's three
• 31:41
  points. You're you're a little nervous at some point the second guessing hits hard.
• 31:51
  Yeah, and that's just I'm not much of a speller anyway, which
• 31:55
  is a horrible thing to admit as a writer. But that's now to support
• 32:01
  that, you know that's true, all right, Yeah, good spelling from
• 32:07
  both teams. Three points apiece. But let's move on to some level two
• 32:10
  spell slots. These are a little trickier. Tolkien had a large vocabulary.
• 32:15
  It was enormous, gargantuan, big ly and genuinely, I think I have
• 32:22
  a love of words from reading The Hobbit at such a young age in it
• 32:25
  having like such a huge vocabulary. So your level two spells are words found
• 32:30
  in the Hobbit, but they're not necessarily Middle Earth words. And you can
• 32:35
  ask for a definition on this one. So bes Horn, your word is
• 32:39
  remuneration. Remuneration from zero to one hundred fast, Did I get a definition
• 32:47
  because you've prepared them. Yeah. Absolutely, it's money paid for work or
• 32:52
  services. Can you say it one more time? Remuneration renation. I've got
• 32:59
  an idea about a couple of the tricky ones. We'll find out R first
• 33:07
  tricky one. I'm gonna go with E mew so M you r A.
• 33:20
  The hard part is remembering where we've been. I think I think we've already
• 33:24
  skipped part of the word. I just throw some random let's see what happens.
• 33:37
  Are you saying that what you're saying, you've done? Oh, I
• 33:38
  don't know. Well I can't. I'll not let this go on for any
• 33:45
  longer. You did get one point because you got the first four letters correct,
• 33:49
  but then you skipped an N and went to an R. But you
• 33:52
  got one point for what is called R E M U N E R A
• 34:00
  T I O N. Oh. Wow, the back and forth, because
• 34:05
  I feel like if I was if I were that, Oh, if you
• 34:08
  were writing this on your own from your own head, you just spelled it
• 34:12
  correctly. I could type anything on my own, But what you're doing is
• 34:15
  spelling it one word at a time in a game show pressure situation with lag.
• 34:22
  So no, we don't have a van of white to put the letters
• 34:25
  up on the screen for us, no upgrade. Can't even pay gen marketing,
• 34:34
  just an ideas person the Hobbit holes. Here is your very similar word,
• 34:38
  a word found in the Hobbit paraphernalia. Okay, paraphernalia, it is
• 34:45
  your words. Well, i'll start with P if that's okay, A R
• 34:53
  A can't trick me, Matt. It's another p mm hmmm, followed by
• 34:59
  an H and then an E N A L I A. All right,
• 35:07
  that's not quite how you spell paraphernalia. There was an R missing it right
• 35:13
  in the middle between the E and the paraphernalia library that is that is going
• 35:24
  to be one point as well for making it not to the to the second
• 35:30
  the pH F sound Yeah, you didn't fall for the for the p h
• 35:37
  al right, it's a. It's time to start messing with you a little
• 35:39
  for yeah, wasn't enough. So for this next word or should I say
• 35:47
  words, I'd like you to spell a trio of dwarves, just back to
• 36:00
  back as though they are one long word, back to a pair of friend
• 36:02
  nally random ks, and ends with honestly could have been happy h A P
• 36:14
  P Y o y, come on, you know Tolkien's names are that?
• 36:19
  So okay, so Beason, your trio of dwarves is Biffer, botha Bomber.
• 36:28
  Say them two more times. I can't. Can you stay them with
• 36:31
  a delineated pause, or I know I absolutely can Biffer bofer bomber. Okay,
• 36:43
  biffer botha, bomber, Biffer buf bomber, biffer bfer bomber. I
• 36:49
  feel like I'm having a stroke. I don't know if there's an R sound
• 36:53
  at the end. I'm getting an A sound at the end. I'm getting
• 36:55
  beffer bfa No beffa bamba is the last one? Dwarves are in Staten Island,
• 37:08
  please okay? All right? B I s uh. I don't know
• 37:20
  they're not four letters along, but A B. This is difficult because I
• 37:24
  don't remember them middle one. Oh A. Let's keep going B B A.
• 37:40
  I mean like, it's it's not how you spell them. But Jen
• 37:44
  absolutely had the hardest job there of having to get the that was like how
• 37:46
  does each of how do each of their names end? But you were right
• 37:51
  about remembering the names. You at least remembered all three names. But I
• 37:53
  can't give you any points there. I'm afraid it's you are I was about
• 37:59
  to say, because it'd be like was e R biffer BofA bomba? Yeah,
• 38:06
  I wasn't recognizing if it was an A sound or like a e R
• 38:10
  sound. I should have specifically said, am I saying these correctly? Yeah?
• 38:17
  Because of the accent confusion, Yeah, I should have married someone with
• 38:22
  a sort of Transatlantic accent of broadcasting fash talking. Okay, the trio of
• 38:32
  Dwarves for the Hobbit Holes is thus Thraw, Thraine Thorin. Well this is
• 38:39
  an easier at all, no throw New York accent Raw, Thrain, Thorign
• 38:47
  good good, good good good, all right, one more time for real
• 38:51
  absolutely Thraw Thraine Thorin. I'm pretty confident on the last two. I have
• 38:58
  no idea where to start with the first one, and well I do t
• 39:04
  h thraw give it to me thraw daddy sorry R it would be my next
• 39:15
  guess. Oh a R we'll go with that now. Yeah, now Thrain,
• 39:22
  we got Thrain. So that's that's wait. No, I just no,
• 39:27
  I okay, So I start t h r A I n okay,
• 39:35
  and Thorn would be t h oh r I N Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 39:45
  I am gonna I'm gonna give you a point because you've got the second
• 39:47
  two names run on absolutely perfect cool twelve letters in a row. But thrall
• 39:53
  was t h R O r h T yeah yeah, after you finished,
• 40:04
  I was, I just thought, make them do the thraw. Listen to
• 40:10
  our track episode yeah, pause this, go listen to the Shrek episode come
• 40:16
  back. That's how you imagine like a small thorn in open shield? I
• 40:21
  can I do? All right? And with that impression from the fourth track
• 40:30
  film, we get to a level four of the of the spells. Oh
• 40:32
  my god, there's still more, good lord. Oh yeah, And I'll
• 40:36
  be honest, I thought you might have scored a few more points by this
• 40:38
  point. So I'm going to introduce these as these It now gets hard,
• 40:45
  so I've kind of just chosen to really bullshit Tolkien words here, just just
• 40:50
  words that I'm not even yeah, I'm not even sure I'm going to be
• 40:53
  able to pronounce them correct correctly. Let's have some fun, bes on.
• 41:00
  Here is your word, sim Belle, muney, m sim bell min.
• 41:09
  It's the flower that grows on the tombs of the Kings that helps, that
• 41:13
  helps ikes. I don't even know what the first letter would be, dude,
• 41:21
  yeah, already. Yeah, there's lots of options here. W I'll
• 41:27
  go with points. I'll go with points for how many correct letters you get
• 41:30
  getting them in order for this one, sim bell munee is what I'm going
• 41:36
  to go for in my mind. Okay, do you want to start or
• 41:38
  do you want me to? Whoever's taken it is a fifty to fifty swing
• 41:44
  Freddy one two three s I M B B l b L yell makes me
• 41:53
  go with you? Yell e hell, I've already forgotten what the word is.
• 42:05
  Ell. Nang m A another you n e you know you know what
• 42:15
  I'm going to give you two out of three points for because if you just
• 42:17
  swapped your use for whys, you'd have got it correct. I wasn't sure
• 42:23
  the melody is either like A like you or a Y like a hundred.
• 42:29
  You did really well, wistically what is happening? Yeah? You were.
• 42:31
  You were following along with the word for sure. There was also like an
• 42:35
  umblout over the e at the end there. But how are you supposed to
• 42:37
  know? Okay? Your final the level four spell slot for the hobbit holes
• 42:45
  here is your word. I knew Linda at words. I'll get this,
• 42:52
  I'll get this. It's the music of the NN. It's the music of
• 42:58
  the it's the used to give the eye and it's I knew Lindn Dalay.
• 43:04
  I knew Linda. I knew Linda delay. We're having some more strokes now,
• 43:12
  one more time. I'm having a real like flashback to Vitam's one oh
• 43:15
  one when I took that as a class, because it was a lot of
• 43:19
  like, it's a lot of it's a lot of weird noises like that.
• 43:25
  I knew Lindn Dalay. I mean, there's an eye, right, I
• 43:30
  swear to god, yeah. I feel like I feel like it starts with
• 43:36
  maybe an a oh woy okay, right wow, and then I think maybe
• 43:40
  you were on to something with an ext one. All right, all right,
• 43:47
  so there's an eye. N Yeah, you with an umlaut. If
• 43:58
  that's right, give him an extra point. I'll allow it. I feel
• 44:00
  like it's another n okay saying it wrong in my head. There's an l
• 44:07
  somewhere, my guy. There's a little you could throw an ellen, there's
• 44:12
  a little you know. I'm scoring this one on general accuracy. I'm thrown
• 44:17
  L and there's somewhere like a vowel at some point there's a D. Yeah,
• 44:28
  so I'm gonna go with the D. Yeah, there might be another
• 44:31
  an app now, so there's got to be like maybe an N before that
• 44:37
  D as well, all right if I okay, so so another A.
• 44:46
  But maybe this one has like that that little that little amazon. Yeah,
• 44:53
  the smile of it, you know, but the smile whatever that does in
• 44:58
  English. I mean, we're striving toward the end of it here. Hell
• 45:01
  yeah, hell hells don't go over els, but this one might have one.
• 45:10
  Can I roll an R no A, I'll go for an A again,
• 45:19
  an A for finishing it. Yeah, it's not it's an E with
• 45:22
  umlauts. But I was gonna say A for sure the actual spelling. I'm
• 45:27
  going to give you one point because you followed along pretty pretty solidly in some
• 45:30
  places. It was a strong start, for sure. A I N U
• 45:35
  L I N D A L e umlouts cool A full on made up word,
• 45:45
  A full long made up words, made up game. Okay, that
• 45:51
  is the end of round one. Let's ask the wise wizard Gandalf to calculate
• 45:54
  the latest scores. Oh, he's high on pipe or you don't, I'll
• 45:59
  do it myself. He's an arkanstoner. It is all tied up. Both
• 46:06
  teams are on six points. Okay, how up? Next is round two?
• 46:12
  But first we've got to cut to a commercial break. How else are
• 46:15
  we supposed to find our long forgotten gold. It's time for Lizard versus Wizard.
• 46:29
  Get your copy of the Last of the Giant Fire Lizards now at Amazon
• 46:34
  and Audible. An epic tale of fire and magic, a rip roaring R
• 46:38
  rated comedy under the cloak of an epic fantasy adventure. Free audio sample available
• 46:45
  on Giant dash Lizards dot com. The Last of the Giant Fire Lizards on
• 46:51
  sale now at Amazon and Audible. Rounds two is called Fancourts. It's the
• 46:57
  game where our players will have to defend a country virtaal hobbit statement that I
• 47:00
  found from across the internet, but most of them were read it. Let's
• 47:05
  be honest. Once our players hear their statements, they'll have one minute exactly
• 47:09
  to act as the defense lawyer for that statement, even if they don't agree
• 47:15
  with it. Maybe you do, who knows, Maybe you were pm me
• 47:19
  pictures of spiders Man. You score points for a passionate argument, accurate fandom
• 47:27
  knowledge, and the inclusion of courtroom nonsense, and for making us laugh as
• 47:30
  well that I'll always score you points. Okay, we're going to begin with
• 47:34
  someone from Beishrn. We're going to begin with Audra. I think, and
• 47:37
  are you ready for your statement that you will have one minute to defend?
• 47:40
  Ah? Yes, your statement is the Hobbit is too short. Tolkien should
• 47:46
  have written it to be as long as The Lord of the Rings. That
• 47:51
  is your statement. Are you ready? I am ready. Your time starts
• 47:55
  now, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I would like to submit that
• 48:00
  the Hobbit book is too short. There is enough information that we probably within
• 48:07
  the world of Middle Earth, we could have gotten a lot more into this
• 48:13
  children's book. We could have made it a trilogy. In my mind,
• 48:17
  especially by the time that in The Lord of the Rings Frodo gets to riven
• 48:22
  Dell, Bilbo is kind of like, oh, yeah, we've seen some
• 48:28
  things, haven't we. By that point, Frodo is less than one book
• 48:32
  in and has seen more shit than Bilbo saw the entire time. So I
• 48:37
  think to justify Bilbo going to the Gray Havens, we need three books of
• 48:45
  him just seeing him just seeing horrible things all over Middle Earth. He's going
• 48:52
  a bunch of places doing way more adventures. Oh that I didn't realize that
• 48:58
  was the sound. That sound is your time, I'm afraid. But yes,
• 49:02
  So to be clear, your argument is give Bilbo more trauma. Yeah.
• 49:07
  I was just about to say trauma dumping. Nah, enough the trauma
• 49:10
  on them, like everyone in the Gray Havens is having a rough time and
• 49:15
  needed it, and it doesn't did he need it? You know? More
• 49:20
  tragedy really solidify and valid it? Why he should? I like this image
• 49:27
  of a bunch of people just going like, dude, I was never the
• 49:30
  same and Bill was like I saw a dragon that was pretty rough, but
• 49:35
  I came back rich and that was pretty awesome. Yeah, you need to
• 49:38
  justify himself. So this this added trauma. The book goes from me this
• 49:45
  big to this big and this is this is bad ship happening to currently Bilbo
• 49:52
  is a neo baby at the board. Okay, Yeah, and we need
• 49:54
  to give him some actual skills. Yeah, No, I I absolutely buy
• 50:00
  that. That's a that's a good defense of a of a ridiculous fan statement.
• 50:07
  I'm going to give you four points far out of five for that one.
• 50:08
  Well, yeah, I think the the idea of honing in on give
• 50:10
  billboard more stuff, I think is a is a good idea. Thank you.
• 50:15
  Okay, you get points in this court room. What a weird courtroom,
• 50:21
  a weird system. This is America. The juries just hold up like
• 50:28
  a car. Okay, we are going to move on over to the hobbit
• 50:37
  holes, and I think we're going to begin with Chris. The hobbit holes.
• 50:40
  I'm going to give you a statement that you will have one minute to
• 50:44
  defend. And that statement is Bilbo is an arrogant and pompous asshole who should
• 50:50
  just go home. Okay, are you ready, Chris? Okay, your
• 50:55
  time starts now. All right, people, Well we need to talk about
• 51:00
  the olephant in the room here. I think Bilbo this is not a hero.
• 51:06
  This is not a good guy. He's a pompous, arrogant asshole.
• 51:09
  Well from the start, so we got Gandolf right, shows up at the
• 51:13
  door, knock knock high, got him. No, no, no,
• 51:14
  no, no, no, no, no time for you. Please leave
• 51:15
  me alone. Quit eat my food, stop breaking all my dishes, don't
• 51:20
  sleep on my floor. I don't want to go if you leave me alone.
• 51:22
  This is bilbo This is not a hero. It's not a hero's journey,
• 51:25
  right. This is a guy who's a little prick, doesn't want to
• 51:29
  do anything, tags along anyway. He's a fifth wheel. Sorry, he's
• 51:31
  a fifteenth wheel. However, there were I you know. And he's selfish.
• 51:37
  He's incredibly selfish. One of the first things this guy does when he
• 51:40
  gets out there, he runs into Gaulum. What does he do? Takes
• 51:44
  his precious? His precious? What kind of guy takes another guy's precious?
• 51:54
  It was closed. I rest my case absolutely. Oh that was a fantastic
• 52:01
  piece of up culture defense lawyery. That's what that's what that business is.
• 52:07
  Oh so much to unpack there. You kick things off with the oliphant in
• 52:09
  the room. That was wonderful. Do you regret giving me four points?
• 52:19
  Yeah? Yeah, maybe I did try. You know. The conceit of
• 52:21
  this game is I sort of always give everyone a lot of points. I
• 52:23
  might have to break the scale for this. Uh this defense had she killed
• 52:29
  it? Absolutely. I heard five reasons there as to why Billboil was a
• 52:34
  prick, so that that equals five points. But I'm also going to give
• 52:37
  a bonus point for saying I rest my case at the end, because so
• 52:40
  often people forget the lawyer aspect and I don't know why, but I'm obsessed
• 52:44
  with this being a lawyer kind of base gaming. For no one else seems
• 52:47
  to be into that as a concept. So six points just writing that down
• 52:52
  so I get it. Oh, I won't forget. Okay, we are
• 52:58
  going to move back on over to base horn, which means it is Jen's
• 53:01
  turn to defend a controversial fan statement about the Hobbit. And Jen, your
• 53:06
  statement is thus, Gandalf is a useless wizard. He should use magic more
• 53:10
  often. Okay, are you ready? Jen? Yes, your time starts
• 53:15
  now. All right, not just people of the jury, but judge.
• 53:20
  Here we go. So useless is a very important word here, because,
• 53:25
  as individuals in the court have already stated, he comes knocking at the door
• 53:31
  saying, hey, man, I got some stuff for you to do.
• 53:34
  Well, here's the thing. You're a wizard. And it's almost as if
• 53:39
  there is a governing body in this world of multiple wizards, and let's let's
• 53:45
  just say what it is. There are some using their powers for good and
• 53:49
  bad here. But then then there's Gandalf and he's hanging out going. I
• 53:53
  will go bother these hobbits and I will say, hey, I could use
• 53:59
  magic. I could call some eagles. I couldn't, you know, get
• 54:01
  everyone involved. Instead, I want you person who was just going to celebrate
• 54:06
  their birthday, hang out, hang out on their couch. I want you
• 54:08
  to do the work for me, be a plot device without being a wizard
• 54:14
  with magic. Nothing further, Well, it's not music. It's basketball court
• 54:22
  music. That's like what reminds me, Jen that was That was very good.
• 54:27
  I like the idea that you honed in on the idea of let's hone
• 54:30
  in on uselessia. Let's let's let's say, let's paint gandalph as who he
• 54:32
  is compared to the others, his ambition. Come on, then, even
• 54:38
  Bradigas like he, I mean, come on, he's out there commanding nature,
• 54:44
  getting birch in on him, his mission and motivation. Let's just grab
• 54:52
  that. Give him a book if he has or not, I have no
• 54:58
  idea already, even a mystery army and some squirrels on the stock's fucking up.
• 55:07
  Not useless. He called animals blood is The final fandom question. Is
• 55:16
  radagas a useful wizard? Because I really built my argument, and anti gandal
• 55:24
  becomes pro ratagas pretty quickly. No, that was that was a great argument,
• 55:30
  and I didn't forget that. You addressed the judge at the start,
• 55:35
  which is always an excellent thing to do. I am the judge. So
• 55:38
  I was going to use your last name, but I have been drinking just
• 55:42
  enough that I forgot where you're wating. Fantastic. Oh yeah, that's why
• 55:47
  I passed only being friends for like six years. I know what it is,
• 55:53
  man. Why don't we call you by your last games Master Matthew Games.
• 56:04
  I wish, I wish. Maybe I'll change it legally at some points.
• 56:07
  So I'm going to give you five points for that, Jen your last
• 56:12
  name. Oh my god? Yeah, oh yeah, we both now.
• 56:15
  I don't want to. I can't inflict that on you. Absolutely you have
• 56:22
  your five points, but we shall see how many points the final member of
• 56:28
  the Hobbit holes will get. Easy the full sex. Okay, your statement,
• 56:35
  Jason, is this The Desolation of Smaug is the best middle Earth film
• 56:39
  ever made? Oh? Oh, dude, you get the one. It's
• 56:49
  like Middle Earth film is the real kicker there. All right, Jason,
• 56:53
  you're ready for this? Very strong, absolutely absolutely okay your time thoughts now,
• 57:00
  members of the jury, judge, security guard that watches over the plaintiff,
• 57:07
  people who have come in casually and publicly into the forums, a guy
• 57:12
  who watches over the janitors, all that good stuff. I'd like to address
• 57:15
  you, guys, and I want to I don't want this to me.
• 57:15
  No. Desolation with Smug is the best movie of all the Middle Earth movies.
• 57:20
  Why and how do we notice? It features Smaug, who is by
• 57:23
  far the actual antagonist of these movies and really sets off the emotion of the
• 57:30
  rest of the movies in this movie, Nuts Smug. Sorry, it's the
• 57:34
  meeting of Bilbo and it's the meeting of Gollum. It's also the movie that
• 57:37
  features an actual arc for Bilbo's character. Now, it doesn't finalize all those
• 57:43
  arcs, and that that's not its fault. You know, the last shot,
• 57:45
  Jedi set up a lot of things, it didn't get to finish them.
• 57:47
  That's not its fault. The same thing with the Two Towers. There's
• 57:51
  a resolution that has been made, but it's the middle of the films and
• 57:52
  it does a lot, and it does the most of that set of films.
• 57:57
  You know what I mean, and you said by the bell cool,
• 58:02
  great, sick. Who else works in the courthouse? Secretary? A person
• 58:07
  who types really fast? You're lucky me quickly sketching, quickly sketching, me
• 58:15
  pointing at you film crew that's there. Because this is actually a reality show,
• 58:21
  I want to say, shouts out to Judy, Judge, what else
• 58:25
  can I do? Don't worry you getting two points for naming all those people.
• 58:31
  I honestly would have loved if you have gone for fifty five seconds people
• 58:38
  twenty seconds. I was like, it was Look, and here's the thing
• 58:44
  I think. I think you actually did a solid job of honing in on
• 58:47
  the idea of like this. It's the it's the hardest one to defend because
• 58:50
  the midpoint of the trilogy. But you're like, no, it serves its
• 58:52
  purpose there. It carries the story forward. You pointed out the great scene
• 58:55
  with with Gollum and Bilbo. That's you. That's that's that scene, right,
• 58:59
  No, was, it's it's it's all the good stuff. I mean,
• 59:04
  the greatest riddle of them all. What's in my pockets? Is that's
• 59:07
  not a goddamn riddle? Man? Yeah, I think that's that sounds like
• 59:10
  it's in an expected journey, but the passion was there to say that it
• 59:14
  was for the billboard ben exactly exactly, and and the key thing in a
• 59:21
  court of law, if I have learned anything from the last several years,
• 59:23
  is that you just got a lie and it'll be fine. So so I'm
• 59:32
  good. Look it was a tough job. I'm gonna give you four points.
• 59:36
  Thank you. That's generous. Thank you. I'd love to be a
• 59:39
  lawyer. You over there, Thank you for coming that. You'd love to
• 59:46
  be an You have beef with the bride. Thank you for being here.
• 59:52
  I know it means a lot to her. Judge Watson, thanks for accepting
• 59:55
  that brade the other day, shouts out to you. All right, that's
• 1:00:00
  that's my surname, Jeff. That is the end of the round. Let's
• 1:00:06
  ask the wise wizard Radagas to calculate the latest scores. Oh, he's high
• 1:00:10
  on mushrooms. I'll do it myself. Then those scores are. Bays Horn
• 1:00:16
  are on fifteen points, the hobbit holes are on sixteen points. Who round
• 1:00:22
  three next? After these ads you could skip them, but think of their
• 1:00:25
  inclusion as like the extended editions of gate Leapers. Back in ninety seconds.
• 1:00:38
  Round three is here we go. Here's it's time for fan fiction, guys.
• 1:00:43
  Round three is our fill in the blank unexpected journey into the world of
• 1:00:46
  fan fiction. It's time for fan fickle. So I have here extracts from
• 1:00:53
  genuine pieces of Hobbit fan fiction I found online. In turn, I will
• 1:00:59
  read a section of fanfic to our teams. I will then offer three options
• 1:01:02
  as to how that section ends, as our teams discuss and choose the correct
• 1:01:07
  answer for a point. So you're testing your knowledge of your fellow fans and
• 1:01:13
  fan fix and we're going to start with a pair of kind of weird fanfis,
• 1:01:16
  then a pair of romantic fanfis, and then a pair of it's it's
• 1:01:22
  it's just smut, it's just good, good, Okay. So we are
• 1:01:25
  going to begin with bays Horn and it's it's a weird one. Here it
• 1:01:30
  is Aragon. Make sure that you're braced well. That first jump off the
• 1:01:35
  ground is pretty hard, he felt Aragon shift around. All right, Bilbo,
• 1:01:39
  anytime you're ready. Bilbo stretched his wings out, unaware of the sight
• 1:01:45
  he made as his blank, unaware of the sight he made as his tiny
• 1:01:51
  body shivered at the prospect of leaping from the carrock, unaware of the sight
• 1:01:55
  he made as his golden dragon form shimmered and shone in the dark, or
• 1:02:00
  unaware of the sight he made as his great eagle form prepared to carry the
• 1:02:05
  ring to Mount dem All right, what do we think of that fanfic?
• 1:02:08
  Ah, I've got opinions. I have no instinct on this. I think
• 1:02:16
  I'm leaning away from the last one because I know it's it's the meme of
• 1:02:21
  like the the eagles could have taken the rank to mourn or but that's what
• 1:02:27
  they sound like. Yeah, so that one. If it is that one,
• 1:02:31
  then I'm gonna just be mad. Yeah, I'm thinking could you say
• 1:02:36
  the first one again? Yes? Yes, unaware of the sight he made
• 1:02:39
  as his tiny body shivered at the prospect of leaping from the car rock shivered.
• 1:02:45
  Excuse me, shiver? That is a common fan fiction word. Oh
• 1:02:50
  yeah, Oh, I hate the word shiver because it's so big on.
• 1:02:52
  Yes, do you have any instincts between the two shiver that much? Like?
• 1:02:58
  I know that old drag in speak for yourself, girl, I'm shaving
• 1:03:02
  right now. I know golden dragons are like shape shifters in most pathologies.
• 1:03:10
  It's like the people think and he it says as he spread his wings like
• 1:03:16
  in pre fill in the blank section. And so if we're not thinking eagles,
• 1:03:22
  like unless they're literally talking about like his arms as his wings. Uh
• 1:03:27
  huh, that one feels the most context clue appropriate if we don't think egle
• 1:03:32
  that he would be spreading his golden dragon wings. How did this thing get
• 1:03:37
  to him having a level five druid. He's a little fifteen in rogue,
• 1:03:43
  but he's a little five druid, you know what I mean? Multi class,
• 1:03:47
  So I don't think it was just jump. So I'm leaning towards the
• 1:03:51
  middle one. I'm down for that, just because I'll be mad at the
• 1:03:52
  Internet if it's the third one. Okay, this is just a personal vendetta
• 1:03:59
  with b olden dragon form shimmered and shone in the darkness. It is b
• 1:04:03
  It is this. This is the story as Bilbo as a shape shifting dragon,
• 1:04:08
  a sequel to the Hobbit where he returns with dragon sickness that turns him
• 1:04:12
  into a dragon at night. That's a dragon sickness? Is you get to
• 1:04:15
  be a sick dragon? Oh dude, all right? Let's have a weird
• 1:04:25
  extract for the hobbit holes. How can I forget? How could I forget?
• 1:04:29
  You ever forget here? It is? How can I forget? Here?
• 1:04:34
  Is your extract? The ship had come from the north of them.
• 1:04:39
  It was a smaller vessel, which meant it was faster than theirs. They
• 1:04:43
  were fired upon and fired back, but the shielding system found aboard every good
• 1:04:46
  star cruiser protected them. Bilbo prepared blank, Bilbo prepared by loading proton torpedoes
• 1:04:58
  as the whole shuck. Bilbo prepared for impact as they were headed for an
• 1:05:01
  asteroid field. Or Bilbo prepared as they were chased down and boarded by space
• 1:05:08
  orks. Wow. Wow, so this is what's happening here. That's from
• 1:05:15
  uh space traveler, you after a you This one's so out there because there's
• 1:05:29
  I mean star cruisers. It could kind of be all free. It could
• 1:05:31
  be in Yeah. Yeah, I wish I wish there was like some clue.
• 1:05:35
  I wish there would have been like ah as the pale work, you
• 1:05:40
  know, boarded the ship or something like that, you know, some throwback.
• 1:05:43
  But this is literally just start like I had, I had a massive
• 1:05:46
  shift, like in the middle of a sentence where I was in you know,
• 1:05:49
  the shire and this. Yeah. Yeah, it's like your star command.
• 1:05:56
  Uh that's the picture of this author is painting, you know. So
• 1:05:59
  we're either going to be impacted or either going to be slam into something.
• 1:06:01
  We're gonna load up some torpedoes, which I gotta be honest. Once you
• 1:06:05
  said star cruisers, my first thought was load up torpedoes, and that was
• 1:06:09
  the first answer. So I'm kind of leaning toward my gutsy instinct on that
• 1:06:13
  one. Listen, I'm gonna listen to your gut here, Chris, because
• 1:06:15
  as soon as you started talking about getting boarded, loading up torpedoes and all
• 1:06:19
  this, I just started shivering. Man. So I'm blacked out, I'm
• 1:06:24
  lightheaded. You going with loading proton torpedoes as the whole shuk? Yeah,
• 1:06:29
  it's an all. I'm afraid, and I regret, you know, putting
• 1:06:31
  a context clue in that question and not yours. That's bad, bad question.
• 1:06:34
  No, that's but hey, look it was as they were chased down
• 1:06:40
  and bolded by spaces Okay, so there was we should have got with your
• 1:06:46
  works in my gut, let's turn up the heat. Just the just the
• 1:06:53
  touch, just the touch, and move on to some romantic fan fictions.
• 1:06:57
  Yeah, that's what fan thinks all about. Back to space, and so
• 1:07:00
  we are going back on over to Bay's Horn. Here is your extract.
• 1:07:04
  Their hands brushed against each other, palm to palm, Thrandwheel's soft skin against
• 1:07:10
  Bards rougher from working outdoors. The long, almost white, blonde hair cascaded
• 1:07:15
  over the broad, strong shoulders of the Elven King blank, like an endless
• 1:07:20
  stream in which Bard could have drowned without regret, like snowfall on the crest
• 1:07:27
  of a mountain that Bard had longed to climb, or like rivers flowing to
• 1:07:31
  a body of water that Bard could swim for an eternity. So what are
• 1:07:35
  the strong shoulders of the Elvin King? Like? I like this so much
• 1:07:41
  because I never shipped these characters. Oh my god, I never your new
• 1:07:46
  Foundership. Oh I've never shipped these two characters. But their actors are gay
• 1:07:50
  in real life. And that's that's true. I think maybe the only gay
• 1:07:54
  actors in this these films. I I was looking dwarves. It's just in
• 1:08:08
  bodies gandal so much. Also, isn't Thor an oaken shield? He just
• 1:08:14
  came out? Yeah, it's a gay trilogy. I love it. I
• 1:08:15
  love it, so Jen, what do we think? Could you give me
• 1:08:21
  the three of the what the summary? Yeah, yes, you've got an
• 1:08:26
  endless stream in which brow Bard could have drowned snowfall on the crest of a
• 1:08:30
  mountain that Bard belongs to climb, or rivers flowing to a body of water
• 1:08:34
  that Bard could swim for an eternity. So you got drowning, climbing,
• 1:08:38
  swimming. Basically, what would you like to do to this man? I
• 1:08:42
  have no reference to these people. We could easily eliminate if this person has
• 1:08:49
  any call to the mountains and all with snow like it's river drowning negative snowfall
• 1:08:58
  climbing. Does he have any referen to like mountains? And then like the
• 1:09:01
  most like calm one is just like I wann a swim in that brod river.
• 1:09:05
  You know he's in Laketown. Okay, this makes more sense, So
• 1:09:11
  maybe we can go between the two water ones as a thought process. Yeah,
• 1:09:16
  which in like fan fiction more and like smutty realm drowning is more in
• 1:09:20
  that like overwhelmed space, Like I'm so overwhelmed I would drown into it your
• 1:09:26
  eyes. Yeah, like drowning in your eyes, drowning in the blueness of
• 1:09:29
  their their eyes, drowning in the broadness of their shoulders, and swimming is
• 1:09:32
  more enjoyable kind of thing. So it kind of just depends both in the
• 1:09:38
  author but also like the tendency of the character. I also think if there
• 1:09:45
  are more of like a swim and entertained the enjoyment, or like prone to
• 1:09:48
  overwhelm and feeling like, oh this is so much I'm gonna drown in your
• 1:09:54
  presence, I feel like he has more gumption than to drown. You know,
• 1:10:00
  I don't. I think you're gonna have to make the decision. Let's
• 1:10:09
  go for him. Let's go for him going for a swim, going for
• 1:10:12
  a swim, like rivers flowing to a body of water that Bard could swim
• 1:10:15
  for an eternity. Yeah, I'm sorry. He wasn't swimming. He was
• 1:10:19
  drowning, drowning without regret. Ah, dang it. That the white blonde
• 1:10:27
  hair of Thranduiol the Elven. Yes, okay, we're gonna move on over
• 1:10:30
  to the hobbit holes for your romantic extract. Here it is breath held Killy
• 1:10:34
  slipped his fingers beneath that coppery curtain and ever so gently eased it back from
• 1:10:40
  her face as he tucked it behind her shoulder. Blank. Her pulse quickened
• 1:10:45
  and she let out a gasp. She met his eyes with intent stifling a
• 1:10:51
  quiver. Oh. She stirred, just barely and gave a soft hum ugh
• 1:11:00
  right like. I was like, oh, that sounds so fan fiction.
• 1:11:03
  And as they go on, they progressively get more fan So this is stifling
• 1:11:10
  a quiver, like holding holding it in, which is unhealthy for you.
• 1:11:19
  Let those quivers out, don't hold back to sneeze, don't hold back a
• 1:11:24
  quiver. I'm leaning towards B or C because again, they get progressively more
• 1:11:30
  fan fiction sounding. And I think you're right. The quiver, quiver,
• 1:11:33
  and shiver seem to be just bull's eyes. Yeah, I mean this is
• 1:11:38
  a quiver heavy episode. Should we go Elves have quivers, they do quivers.
• 1:11:46
  Maybe that's the quiver. Well, you're pushing your quiver in my body.
• 1:12:02
  We could we could, we could go with bee if you want.
• 1:12:06
  I think the quiver, yeah, for the quiver. Yeah, she met
• 1:12:10
  his eyes with intent stifling a quiver. Yeah, that's a Matt, what's
• 1:12:15
  an original? I'm afraid is. She stirred just barely and gave a soft
• 1:12:19
  hum. Yep, that was that was the other fan know like women are
• 1:12:24
  always humming. No, she stands her ground, but she does let out
• 1:12:30
  a hum, so you know that. I do like he's a part of
• 1:12:33
  it. I like the idea of the hum is like apprehensive, like can
• 1:12:43
  you get your hands on my copper curtain? I don't. Oh, good
• 1:12:50
  stuff. All right. We will move on to our final extract for each
• 1:12:54
  team, and it's it's getting filthy, guys. I'm sorry, I'm sorry
• 1:12:58
  that I have to read this here for sorry to family members who are listening.
• 1:13:01
  Obviously, let's hear the smaug in Bilbo action. There was a bit
• 1:13:06
  of that. I don't think any made the cut. We get a couple
• 1:13:11
  of books I can record, So back on over to Bay's Horn. Here
• 1:13:15
  is your extract, and it needs to be known Bilbo is female. In
• 1:13:18
  this one, Bilbo has she her pronouns under her shirt. He saw shadows
• 1:13:26
  dipping between plump globular tits. I almost did a put like that would be
• 1:13:35
  so terrible for someone listening to this podcast. This one was viewed by hundreds
• 1:13:41
  of thousands of people and had lots of likes. Oh, and then I'll
• 1:13:45
  start again. I'll just start again. I'm afraid under her shirt, he
• 1:13:49
  saw shadows dipping between plump globular tits and then her peaking brown teats stiffening.
• 1:13:59
  How he could have squeezed and tasted Orie wetly pumped his hot oversized? Blank,
• 1:14:10
  and here we are options. What fucking gal tongue back and forth in
• 1:14:15
  her smaller mouth. Oh, fingers back and forth in her cushioning ruffles,
• 1:14:27
  okay, or member back and forth in her welcoming hobbit hole literally shivers down
• 1:14:34
  my spot and a type. I guess, Oh my god, oh god,
• 1:14:43
  see the setup. The setup is Or wetly pumped his hot oversized,
• 1:14:49
  and then I guess it's tongue fingers on member, Okay, the big three.
• 1:14:55
  Yeah, choose your weapon, choic. I have no instincts other than
• 1:15:01
  if it's the middle one. I'm gonna be so mad because the phrase that
• 1:15:06
  you liked there, No, I think it's just it's I don't like it.
• 1:15:12
  Is it the phrase cushioning ruffles? Yeah? Alretty interesting description words.
• 1:15:20
  My favorite thing is they use such like fan facky poetic imagery. But then
• 1:15:26
  they'll just says it hurts me the thesaurs of like, I want to use
• 1:15:32
  a different word as it pertains to foods, globular globular that's me, fourty
• 1:15:42
  year old virgin, the bag of sand before. They're kind of lumpy,
• 1:15:50
  little lobby So by way of panthic and smart interest all mm hmmm, I
• 1:16:01
  don't typically see the word pumped in relation to dunk. Yeah, and I
• 1:16:09
  think I feel like just to start narrowing it down, Yeah, we can
• 1:16:14
  take that one, and if we eliminate that one, I also think that
• 1:16:16
  we can. I think we can go for the middle one because I do
• 1:16:19
  think that the joke of hobbit hole. I think hobbit hole maybe it's because
• 1:16:25
  of the setup of the rest of the episode that we have been doing that
• 1:16:28
  one seems like too much of a joke for this type of a scene.
• 1:16:32
  Would you be comfortable going with cushion ruffles cushion, Yes, I mean I
• 1:16:45
  can't. You can say bait. You can say bait does the way that
• 1:16:55
  the rest of the setup was described, But I think that's the most political.
• 1:17:01
  Should we go with bee? I think we can say b let's go
• 1:17:05
  be. You're going with b fingers back and forth in her cushioning ruffles.
• 1:17:10
  Hate it, No, it's actually a tongue back and forth in her smaller
• 1:17:15
  mouth. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Makes me so uncomfortable. Yeah,
• 1:17:21
  why you have mentioned that your tongue is so big and her mouth is so
• 1:17:25
  small. It reminds you that their dwarf and hobbit. At the end of
• 1:17:28
  the day, I don't like it, Yeah, enough for it to be
• 1:17:34
  mentioned. Yeah, mentioned? Yeah, this, This person who wrote this
• 1:17:40
  did have lots of horrible descriptions for a vagina throughout this entire run, but
• 1:17:45
  none of them kind of like laid on to it in run. But I
• 1:17:47
  thought it wouldn't be fair if I included one of them, so I tried
• 1:17:50
  to come up with one of my own that is, like, this is
• 1:17:54
  the worst way to describe it. Possibly that still fits within this manfict.
• 1:17:58
  Cushioning ruffles is what I get. Six ccessful, horrific creation. You have
• 1:18:03
  a reaction is happening because I don't want to speak about this ever again.
• 1:18:10
  Want to have a pseudonym out there. I'm the cushioning Ruffles. I think
• 1:18:17
  that was wasn't it. Okay, Well, we've got one more of these
• 1:18:23
  smut smut quotes. We've got to have another one for the hobbit holes.
• 1:18:27
  Here we go. Here it is Bilbo thought back to the fantasy that would
• 1:18:31
  not leave him all day kissing his way back up Thorin's body. He hesitated
• 1:18:36
  only a moment before whispering, softly, suck on my neck and pull up
• 1:18:42
  my hair, or suck on my ear lobe and pull on my earring,
• 1:18:47
  or suck on my nipple and call me daddy. These this is he did
• 1:18:58
  say, whispering softly, So I should live with those differently? That was
• 1:19:02
  perfect. Yeah. Wow, I I know about like ear low play,
• 1:19:14
  but I've never heard of anyone pulling on an ear ring. In fact,
• 1:19:15
  that just sounds painful. Uh. I recently got pierced, and if anyone
• 1:19:20
  were to touch that, even just slightly, I'd scream. Maybe that's the
• 1:19:25
  point. I don't recall a theign had an ear ring in the canon,
• 1:19:31
  or if that's something. Yeah, maybe, I also don't know if that's
• 1:19:35
  the part we need to be at least on the movie. I do remember
• 1:19:42
  him sucking on Bilbil's nipple and calling him daddy. Remember, Oh, this
• 1:19:48
  is so hard. What was the was the neck one. The next one
• 1:19:51
  was the first suck on my neck and pull up my hat. That's the
• 1:19:56
  most tame of the The daddy just seems like it's a bridge too far,
• 1:20:01
  like it's but yeah, none of these smuts authors take things at bridge too
• 1:20:05
  far. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about the ear.
• 1:20:10
  I feel like we should cut that one out. Yeah, that seems like
• 1:20:15
  although you know, tharn my like a little ripped ear lobe. And for
• 1:20:17
  sure if you pull out the ring, for sure they don't get into that
• 1:20:21
  fetishes, which is so weird because they have ten hours of film, right,
• 1:20:27
  well, someone looks very tall women, Yeah, has three more films.
• 1:20:33
  We could have seen so much more. I feel like the first one
• 1:20:39
  is relatively tame, but something that you could whisper to a person. That's
• 1:20:45
  a good point. The whispers important. Yeah. Yeah, So I'm inclined
• 1:20:48
  to say the first because it's the most realistic. So that's probably the wrong
• 1:20:55
  way to think about this, but that's where my brain's going, is the
• 1:20:57
  first one. It's not the worst way to think about it. It's either
• 1:21:00
  that, I think, or the most ridiculous the third one, right,
• 1:21:03
  right, And we got burned on not being slutty enough last. That's true.
• 1:21:09
  We should suck on some teats and call each other daddy. All right,
• 1:21:14
  you only see suck on my nipple and cold and daddy. Yeah,
• 1:21:19
  it's actually the eelobe and pull on my ear and you eliminate. But it
• 1:21:24
  is the eelobe that is the that is the the sluttiest one. So also,
• 1:21:29
  like, like you said, interesting and that I would never want someone
• 1:21:31
  to just like a yank on my ear like that's ow h no. So
• 1:21:38
  that's a terribly frightening experience trying to avoid you know, like I've had like
• 1:21:46
  long like dangling ear rings and I've gotten them caught in something and it's like,
• 1:21:49
  huh, nobody moved every shuck glass on the floor my hair. I've
• 1:22:00
  never been like whoa new kick unlocked? Not however, suck on my nipple
• 1:22:08
  and call me daddy. That's the end of round three. Let's ask the
• 1:22:14
  wise wizard sarah Man to calculate the latest scores. Oh, he's high on
• 1:22:17
  power and maybe solvents. I'll do the sor Oh, it's all tied up
• 1:22:25
  again. Sixteen points apiece. As we head into the final round, could
• 1:22:29
  not be closer. But before we get to the final quick fire round,
• 1:22:32
  let's talk prizes. This episode's star prize is the concept of adventure. It's
• 1:22:38
  important to get out of your comfort zone and have an adventure once in a
• 1:22:42
  while, unless you have adventures all the time, and then finding a comfort
• 1:22:45
  zone should probably be your adventure. The grass is always greener on the other
• 1:22:49
  side of the shire balance. But our winning team will also receive this first
• 1:22:57
  edition copy. It very very rare, very expensive, and I think that
• 1:23:03
  whoever wins this would probably appreciate it if it was signed by their favorite games
• 1:23:09
  master. So and for the audience, the nice paperback, moving the title
• 1:23:18
  or the front of it behind it really cracking that behind. Oh yeah,
• 1:23:25
  lovely stuff. Lovely stuff. Up next is our crucial quick fire around,
• 1:23:29
  but first we must play one final set of ads. You might say capitalism
• 1:23:32
  is against the spirit of what Tolkien was getting at the Ring Dragon sickness,
• 1:23:36
  all that stuff, but all the good guys took treasure home with them.
• 1:23:41
  Bilbo's basically a neoliberal who benefits from generational wealth. Nothing is sacred back soon,
• 1:23:53
  Okay, let's do it. Our final quick fire around will test your
• 1:23:56
  broader pop culture knowledge, and it's called fantasy line. No, not lands
• 1:24:00
  surrounded by a phizzy orange beverage. Fantasy lands like like Lands of Fantasy,
• 1:24:09
  like candy Land. I'm glad that's not one of the answers in this game.
• 1:24:15
  I will give our players clues to a fantasy land slash world from pop
• 1:24:17
  culture history. It's mostly things that have like iconic maps where you can like
• 1:24:21
  picture that it has a map, and there's there's some world building that's happened
• 1:24:25
  there. Those clues will be in the style of Gandalf talking about those places
• 1:24:30
  as though he's reminiscing about his time there. He was going to grab my
• 1:24:32
  hat. Oh yeah, for disgrace that Chris is not on this. Oh
• 1:24:40
  yeah, that man loves he That man loves a good map. I'll do
• 1:24:46
  got a good Oh how does Gandalf talk its tri confound your Yeah, that's
• 1:24:59
  that's what he doesn't guess. That's great. Oh and there's of course a
• 1:25:02
  classic Gates Leapers twist. You need to say they're taking the Hobbits too before
• 1:25:09
  you say your answer, otherwise I can't give you the point. It's quick
• 1:25:14
  fire, so you buzz in by yelling out your team name. Let's practice
• 1:25:16
  that now, alls, do you want to go horm versus Yeah, fits
• 1:25:28
  with the smut stuff. And I'll give you an example just so we all
• 1:25:32
  know what's what's going on here. Well, yes, there's the continent to
• 1:25:35
  the east, but I'm talking about the continent to the west. You better
• 1:25:41
  behave Yes, Ordre, they're taking the Hobbits to wester ROAs exactly. It
• 1:25:46
  is indeed Western ROAs, And it would be the take they're taking the Hobbits
• 1:25:49
  to West Roast would be how you score a point. I'm so angry that
• 1:25:54
  that was the example because that was the only one I was coming prepared with.
• 1:25:58
  Fantastic you guys are doing, and I thought North America that fantasy.
• 1:26:05
  Yes still is to me a lot. Okay, you can interrupt me at
• 1:26:12
  any points. Are we already? Yes, yes, all right, I
• 1:26:16
  will start the timer. Ah. Yes, I have fond memories of the
• 1:26:19
  Lion wizard Aslan. He too had to manage. Yeah, Jason, uh,
• 1:26:28
  they're taking the Hobbits to Narnia. They are indeed taking the Hobbits to
• 1:26:31
  Narnia. Good stuck, goodness, there's so many words in my brain.
• 1:26:34
  A deep forests and tall mountains, this place feels like home, once ruled
• 1:26:43
  by a goddess. Now you're more likely to find a link trying to force
• 1:26:46
  his way onto a princess. Yes, Jason, they're taking I was responding
• 1:26:53
  to what you said there. They're taking the Hobbits to high Rule. They
• 1:26:57
  are indeed taking the Hobbits to High Rule from from Zelda. Yes. Yes,
• 1:27:00
  reminds me of the time I spent with my friend Peter. Yes,
• 1:27:04
  terrible issues with a hooked wizard. Oh, Horton, Yes, Audra,
• 1:27:10
  they're taking the Hobbits to Neverland. It is indeed Neverland. Good stuff.
• 1:27:15
  So I can start to the right and all that four known continents, but
• 1:27:20
  they seem to add more with every expansion. They too have dwarves and orcs
• 1:27:26
  and a lich king who laid a cataclysm across these lands. Better get the
• 1:27:30
  wizards together for a raid in my mother's basement. Oh, I know the
• 1:27:35
  franchise, Yes, Jen, I'm gonna throw a guest out there, because
• 1:27:41
  didn't seem like anybody else was in there. They're taking the Hobbist of fay
• 1:27:44
  Room. It's not it's a good guest. It's a good guess. Maybe
• 1:27:47
  I shouldn't say that because it's not D and D related. Born. Yes,
• 1:27:55
  they're taking the Hobbits to wherever world of Wark it is. Indeed,
• 1:28:01
  do you know that all the ball craft is set? It's set in blood
• 1:28:06
  Moon or planned? No, a, it does. Do you want to
• 1:28:13
  take a guess? Anyone on A? I can't remember it for the life
• 1:28:15
  the Hobbit holds. No, that's pretty close. It's as a rough as
• 1:28:21
  a roth. You can't just put a crown on your head, steal a
• 1:28:25
  few princesses and call yourself king holes. Yes, Jason, I only know
• 1:28:30
  this because of a recent episode. They're taking the Hobbits to Ooh, they
• 1:28:34
  are indeed taking the Hobbits too from Adventure time. Yes, just realizing I'm
• 1:28:39
  wearing a big Wizards hat. No, it looks great. Yeah, strange
• 1:28:44
  world this one. I had to roll a twenty sided talisman whenever my skills
• 1:28:48
  were tested yet because I don't know where. Well, maybe your teammate knows
• 1:28:56
  this one because they said it's thirty seconds. Okay, they're taking the Hobbits
• 1:29:00
  faun lovely stuff yesterday. It's like, I don't know the general big word.
• 1:29:03
  Yeah, Jen had this one earlier. It absolutely is fun. Thank
• 1:29:09
  you Jan. Yeah again, these are the only things that I know.
• 1:29:14
  I'm not sure where this place is, but it certainly isn't Kansas. They've
• 1:29:18
  also got a lion. Oh, yes, Ordre, I did hear.
• 1:29:26
  I did hear whole Eventually, eventually they're taking the Hobbits to Oz. It
• 1:29:31
  is indeed Oz. Yes, what to say of this place? Well,
• 1:29:34
  it's a vast archipelago of hundreds of islands surrounded by mostly uncharted ocean. This
• 1:29:43
  land is Taoist and young Ian. But I've never heard of those wizards,
• 1:29:46
  and speaking of a wizard is one of them? Yes, Audra was waiting
• 1:29:50
  for the horn. They're taking the Hobbits to Earth. See it is indeed
• 1:29:56
  earth' see? Yes, well done? What's that tale? The Earth Sea
• 1:30:03
  cycle? They're good? Okay, Now this one's tough because you probably know
• 1:30:09
  the game series, but they rarely mentioned the world. So let's see how
• 1:30:12
  this one goes. So I'll just say I've traveled through Skyrim, Monowind,
• 1:30:16
  and elsewhere until I took an arrow to the knee a friend. I know.
• 1:30:25
  That friend is Chris oh Man. I used to know this. I
• 1:30:30
  used to know this. I only know the individual places I don't know,
• 1:30:33
  like the big passing on this one? The answer is nne okay, three
• 1:30:40
  to go, let's do it. Few have ventured into this land and fewer
• 1:30:45
  have returned. A sparkle in the Twilight and you're transported to a land of
• 1:30:49
  tiny magical horses, and I think they have these conventions or something that they
• 1:30:55
  gather at. I don't really know much else about the fandom. What is
• 1:31:00
  the land Twilight Sparkle, what's the land? No? I know, I
• 1:31:02
  know, I know, I probably do not know the answer. Horn.
• 1:31:11
  Yes, they're taking the Hobbits over the Rainbow that I would have done for
• 1:31:19
  the OS one maybe, but okay, I could tell you so much.
• 1:31:23
  That Isn't the light gonna pass on this one? If it's just pony Land,
• 1:31:30
  I'm gonna be so mad. I mean, it's the fantasy version of
• 1:31:33
  pony Land. It's Equestria Questria. Sorry, getting my grow about my little
• 1:31:43
  ponies and I'm here for listen. I did have a time in my life
• 1:31:45
  where I was a prony, and I don't I'm not proud of it.
• 1:31:48
  No, that's not the part of judging you on I just love that you're
• 1:31:51
  just like God. It's so much. Yeah, I could have gotten there
• 1:31:58
  if I had more than like a minute it to think about. Yeah,
• 1:32:00
  Equestria is the land from my Little pony Oh fandom we have not yet covered
• 1:32:06
  on this podcast. One day has put her hat in the ring. I
• 1:32:11
  think all right. Next one an island land inhabited by shipwrecked humans and sapient
• 1:32:17
  dinosaurs who have learned to coexist peacefully as a single symbiotic society. These bones
• 1:32:25
  are beyond any of you. Run, I mean, horn, I'll toss
• 1:32:30
  it out there. Are you talking about Jurassic Park. I'm not talking about
• 1:32:33
  dress That's that's a good guess, because it is was Dineoortopia, a thing
• 1:32:44
  series of novels and stuff. They had a map, That's why I chose
• 1:32:46
  them. Anyway, quick before the buzzer. This is a land that lies
• 1:32:49
  west of our Middle Earth, across the Great Ocean bell Leguere. It is
• 1:32:56
  home to the land of and please don't make me pronounce any more difficult words.
• 1:33:01
  It's the continent that's off to the west. I'm not actually from here.
• 1:33:05
  I can't speak Tolkien. I'm a fraud. Horn. Yes, they're
• 1:33:13
  taking the Hobbits to you, said valen Ar. So the Gray Havens,
• 1:33:17
  it's not the Gray probably the continent that the Gray Havens is on, the
• 1:33:20
  land that the Grey Havens is on. I'm just I'm testing you to know
• 1:33:25
  because you said Valen or m hmm, the continent that Vallina is on.
• 1:33:30
  It's okay, we don't have to have it. It's a man, a
• 1:33:34
  man, a man, and that's I'm glad I didn't put the beard on.
• 1:33:45
  That gets hot, It really does, Okay. Before we get to
• 1:33:50
  the final scores, i'd like to thank our players. You've all been far
• 1:33:55
  over the Misty Mountains, Cold, the Dungeons Deep, and Cavern's Old.
• 1:33:59
  So well done. Well done on that. Chris, thanks so much for
• 1:34:01
  playing and joining us for the first time. You were a fantastic player.
• 1:34:05
  You brought so much energy to this. Your debut novel, The Last of
• 1:34:08
  the Giant Fire Lizards, of Course, is out now. Could you tell
• 1:34:11
  our listeners what it's about and where they can pick up a copy? Yeah?
• 1:34:15
  Absolutely, well, copies are available right now. The audiobook is out.
• 1:34:19
  It's audible, and that's me doing it as well, so you get
• 1:34:23
  to hear this voice a little bit more if you get a copy of that
• 1:34:25
  lovely stuff Amazon, and it's exclusive in Amazon for paperback and book. It's
• 1:34:30
  the last of the giant fire lizards. It's lizard versus wizard. It's an
• 1:34:34
  epic battle between a dragon and a sorcerer. But the thing that kind of
• 1:34:39
  got me into is I took the approach of let's see it all through the
• 1:34:42
  dragon's eyes. So it's very much a Tolkien kind of adventure. But it's
• 1:34:45
  a dragon and her fellowship is a bunch of other creatures. So she gets
• 1:34:47
  some wooly mammoths, she gets some sapertooth panthers to join her crew, and
• 1:34:51
  they all kind of have these big epic battles and it's a lot of fun.
• 1:34:55
  And here's a little rated oar humor, which I think probably hits pretty
• 1:34:58
  well for this. Kurtinize, I can tell if you enjoyed this episode of
• 1:35:04
  absolutely it sounds it that sounds like a fantastic read. I'm going to be
• 1:35:09
  picking up a copy because Chin and see the past few weeks I've been like,
• 1:35:12
  I'm curious, I want I want to know this lizard versus Wizard story.
• 1:35:17
  And of course links in the in the show notes as well to where
• 1:35:20
  you can pick up the last of the giant fire Lizards. Jen, thank
• 1:35:24
  you as always at half double Docent is where people can follow you on Insta.
• 1:35:28
  Your your makes gorgeous and you're obviously clearly a style icon when it comes
• 1:35:32
  to our mind and Audra's household at least. But I also loved seeing the
• 1:35:38
  wall spinning project that you were you were posting about recently, could you could
• 1:35:42
  you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, so a little spinning wheel
• 1:35:45
  right there. So I have dabbled into the foray into wall spinning, and
• 1:35:50
  for our Patreon I have it right here literally ruled to yarn. So it
• 1:35:59
  was once flow and now it is something that I could actually work with,
• 1:36:00
  which is really cool. I mean that it's a really interesting craft to get
• 1:36:04
  into and such like I work on a tart like tech startup project, so
• 1:36:09
  it's nice to be able to have the balance of watching something that came off
• 1:36:14
  a sheep go from fluff to something I can work with while working so heavily
• 1:36:18
  and in digital and data. So it's a nice little background and balance between
• 1:36:24
  the two. And it's a very fun process to learn a new skill.
• 1:36:28
  Yeah, yeah, and yeah, it all looks fantastic and also, at
• 1:36:31
  what point are you just going to have sheep? Right, Like, at
• 1:36:33
  some point you're just going to cut out the supportive partner award. I started
• 1:36:39
  with like told Mi Chris, like, hey, I think I'm going to
• 1:36:42
  get into this, and he immediately started googling how to adopt sheep. And
• 1:36:45
  one day, when we have land, we'll have a retirement for old dogs
• 1:36:49
  and some sheep for them to chase around so I can process their fleece for
• 1:36:56
  spinning. So you know we'll get there. There will come a day absolutely,
• 1:37:03
  and then we'll just name all the sheep Tolkien things because you'll get exclusive
• 1:37:09
  naming rights. Lovely, lovely stuff, lovely stuff. I'm gonna name it
• 1:37:13
  Matt Watson. So you remember my surname at half double dozen on insta link
• 1:37:19
  in the show notes. Do you follow Jen? It's fantastic content, Jason.
• 1:37:24
  Most of our listeners sort of outside where we immediately live. But how
• 1:37:28
  can folks support your food truck digitally? They can support my food truck by
• 1:37:31
  following me on social media at Studio Munkey on Facebook and Instagram, I post
• 1:37:40
  good food and if you can't eat the food, I get it. But
• 1:37:42
  if you could like those posts. I really enjoy that. Thank you so
• 1:37:45
  much. Wonderful wonderful Yes at Studio Munchy on Insta links to all of the
• 1:37:50
  above in the show notes do support what our guests have going on. And
• 1:37:55
  a huge thank you to Ash and Adam, just In Dodberg, Aaron Randolph,
• 1:37:58
  and Derek and Taylor for continued support at the highest tier over at patreon
• 1:38:02
  dot com Forward slash Gatesleepers. You are our executive producers, so it's up
• 1:38:06
  to you when the Silmarillion episode happens. Your choice. Okay, let's get
• 1:38:13
  to those final scores where it was close. There was one point in it,
• 1:38:17
  a hotly contested final round of lands. We have the Hobbit holes finishing
• 1:38:25
  on nineteen points. Okay, but today's winners horn on twenty points. Jen
• 1:38:31
  retains her championship and I brought it home for Odra because I'm not a lot
• 1:38:39
  of pressure. Thank you. We have been gateleepers. Thank you so much
• 1:38:51
  for listening. Subscribe to this feed for more geeky game shows. We've got
• 1:38:55
  game shows about Game of Thrones, Fast and Furious, Sailor Moon, so
• 1:38:59
  much more. Do you leave us a five star review if you had a
• 1:39:01
  good time and ignore this sentence. If you didn't, please share this episode
• 1:39:05
  with a friend, the Tolkien fan in your life. Sir Ian McKellen,
• 1:39:10
  We'll be back next time, when being a hero will be simply academic.
• 1:39:15
  But until then, I leave you with this uplifting quote from JRR. Tolkien.
• 1:39:19
  If most of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold,
• 1:39:25
  it would be a merrier world. But in twenty twenty four, entrees are
• 1:39:29
  thirty bucks, antidepressants are expensive without insurance, and concert tickets require a small
• 1:39:33
  loan. We valued them too much. Now you need a horde of gold
• 1:39:38
  to food and cheer and song. Goodbye,