Latest / I Do, Part 2 / LOVE STORIES: The Golden Bachelorette’s Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple

Transcript

LOVE STORIES: The Golden Bachelorette’s Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple · I Do, Part 2

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: This is another one of our special episodes in our
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Love Stories series where we count you down to Valentine's
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Day and ask our couples who come from all different
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: walks of life, who are in lots of different types
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: of relationships, what the key is to their relationships success.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: And we ask our couples all the same questions.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This time we are talking to Joan Vasso's you know
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: her from the Golden Bachelorette and the man she met
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: on the show Chalk Chappelle. They got engaged in July
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, and we check in with the
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: couple to see where they are now.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Here is Joan and Chuck's love story.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: And we have Joan and Chalk with us right now.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: We have person.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: We have Chalk long distance, which kind of is appropriate
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: given the status of.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Your relationship right now. How we do it?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: How? How what is that like to always be in
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: a different state from one another?
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: I know, well, we're not always in a different state.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: We actually merge a pretty pretty often. In fact, we
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: spent the whole month of December and early January together,
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: we got a place in New York and we actually
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: lived together, which is the first thing, the first time
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: we've done that for more than like a few days
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: at a time or a week at a time.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: So that was great.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: We had a wonderful time. It's always been like both
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: of his and my dream to live in New York.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: So we got a little taste of it, and I
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: think we'll do it again and maybe do it more
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: for a longer time, you know, longer period of time
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: next time. But we merged a lot. We know, we
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: go on vacations together. We have opportunities like this, We
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: come to La to do iHeart stuff and other things.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: So we end up being together like at least once
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: every three weeks.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: We'll chuck. You all are our first law long distance
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: couple that we have interviewed as a part of our
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Love Story series. So we've asked everybody the same questions.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: We'll start with you, and I will tell you all first.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: The first question seems to be the one that trips
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: everybody up the most chocked, So I'm gonna.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: Start all right.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Question number one, just in five words or less, describe
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: your relationship today. How would you characterize it in five
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: words or less.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Very deep, very loving and enjoyable.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Nice jump, amazing, second chance at love?
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Wow?
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: Love that all right?
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Who said I love you first?
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: I did?
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: It was on TV.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Can't deny that, And you couldn't say I love you back?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Correct?
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: You can, you can. But if you look at like
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: previous batchlor seasons, like the people that do that end
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: up getting a lot of crap at the end because
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: they end up have maybe said it to two or
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: three people. I mean, Gary did it, when Becher did it,
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: said it to three people, and that comes back to
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: haunt you because the final person was like, well you
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: you know you love two other people. So I was
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: really careful not to ever say.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Did you feel it? Though? I just you wouldn't allow
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: yourself to go there though.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Not really I wouldn't let myself go there. Plus, you know,
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: when you invest.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: I disagree that eighteen year old girl deal with me
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: going I really really really like you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah that was right.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: Some people take a little bit longer than others.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a slow burn. When did you tell him
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: you loved him? The day that we got engaged? I
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: saved it and back you know, at that point I
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: wanted it to be a special day, and even though
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: I knew I felt it, I didn't want to say
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: it like prematurely, like the day before or two days
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: before that. I thought it was special to do it
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: like when he got down on Wendy. Oh wow.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, So normally we would ask how long you dated
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: before you got engaged, But this is a little bit
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: awkward because it all happened on TV on TV and
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: you were dating other men at the same time.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there was that what has your.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Engagement period been like?
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And we usually then ask how long were you engaged
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: before you got married? So do you have a timeline
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: for the wedding and what's the engagement period been like?
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: So the engagement period has been like so fun, Like
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: we're just living in this school world and we don't
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: have any obligation to get married because we're not like
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: trying to have babies. You know, we're a different stage
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: of our lives. So probably different than most people that
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: you've interviewed that are thinking wedding and thinking about creating
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: a life together. We both kind of already have really
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: rich lives and I'm like, you guys, and if.
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: I can interject, if I can interject real quick. I
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: think there might be somebody on this podcast it's been
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: engaged for three years.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Three years? Not quite just I know, I know you
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: got that right, felt like that, Jocko.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: Well's I read that because I wented to did a
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: little bit of research. Engaged for three years, so you know,
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: the internet might not always be faction.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: But I think the last time where we engaged, the
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: last time we saw I don't know if we saw I.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Don't think so a jingle ball with you guys, and
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: you were engaged, but I think the year before you
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: were not.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: No, Yes, we got engaged in September last.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Year, so talk we got some celebrating to do with
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: you when you see.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: When we saw that, that's right, Champagne.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So how I know you're not living
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: in the same house and maybe you don't have some
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: of the same frustrations or the daily arguments that a
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: lot of couples have. But how often do you fight
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: and what do you fight about? Huh?
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I don't think we've ever fought.
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: Really, We've had We've had things as any adult couple has,
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: where you have different thoughts, different beliefs, and when you
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: get older, some of it's a little important, but you
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: work on going. It's really not that important. Communications. So
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: we've not not had a drag down, you know, knockdown,
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: drag out fight. We've had a couple of things going.
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: You know, I'd like for you not to say that,
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: or you know, let's not do that, those type of things.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: It sounds like time, experience, maturity keeps you from having
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: the fights you know better, is what it sounds like.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Is that right, Jack?
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, because I'm going to lose it doesn't make a difference.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: But he is very easy going, so you know, if
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: something bothers him, if he mentions it, I know it's important,
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: So I you know, I take that into account.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: That's very good.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And we we have asked all of our couples this,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: but I think we already know the answer. Have you
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: ever come close to calling it quitz, to saying this
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: is too hard? Maybe given the distance, maybe given the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: public pressure. I know you all deal with a lot
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: of rumors about whether or not you're still together. Does
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: any of that actually put pressure on your relationship?
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: If I can't, I'd say absolutely not. From the fact
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: is we just laugh about him and we'll call each
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: other and go, you heard the lame atest one.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Really, it's just it's it's just.
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: It's social media, it's the internet, it's the news. It
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: is so inaccurate. And there's been a couple of times
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: where like we really didn't like that, Like there was
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: a story that came out that Jone had passed. Yeah,
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: and that's pretty personal.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: Tragic car accident as in dyed Yeah yeah, yes, tragic
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: car accident while I was on vacation.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, weird.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: And then so you you know, you go, oh, it's just,
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: you know, it's it's it's the news, it's whatever. But
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: then when you have friend calling you and texting you,
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: you go, I wish that wouldn't happen.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you got to skin and there's pictures of
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: an ore that' said rip with a like a like
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: a Jesus Day I died, And it was Yeah, it
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: kind of hits you a little bit.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Did you know it wasn't true?
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Obviously?
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Did you all address that one? I mean talk you're
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: kind of talking to Stuff's out there is just silly.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Does every does anything ever rise to a level where
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: you will feel like you do need to respond, Like
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: something like she's dead. Did you do anything just let
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: it all go?
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: I think I made a point of like putting something
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: on Instagram of me talking or I don't remember it was,
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: but I didn't say like I didn't die.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Proof of life.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: We're really good at bouncing things off each other because
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: one of us might be elevated a little bit, and
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: it's usually me that's going to be a little bit
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: more elevated and Jones going just let it go, it's
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: just what it is. And the next day you just
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: laugh and go And that's where Jon's really good.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: The less air you get, most things they'll go away.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I do feel like we every once in a while
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: need to address the rumors like that we've broken up,
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: because I think that people like really invest in like
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: you falling in love, and they watch the show and
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: they put time into it, and they're excited for you,
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: and they want to make sure that it's still going on.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: And it seems fairly often if I don't or if
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: we don't have a picture of us someplace together, or
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: you know, have an interaction with the two of us,
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: we they say that we've broken up. So I think
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: we need to do a better job, and it's kind
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: of on my plate because I'm more of the social
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: media person than he is to like say, hey, come
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: sit next to me. We've got to talk on like
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: film and put a video, right, so people don't say
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: that we've broken up.
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: So j and Amy, excuse me. We did have an
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: issue over one thing. You don't called me because she
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: was in Austin with some of the ladies from her
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: show and there was some information out that I bought
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: a ten point seven million dollar home in Austin, so
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: excited and she's like, I didn't have anything to do
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: with this and I haven't even seen it yet. Give
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: me the address.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like awesome.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Fake news I've heard all day. Would you all say
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: that you're still in your honeymoon period?
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: Hmmm, I don't think honeymoon period. I don't think we
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: really had a serious honeymoon period, to be honest. I
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: think we kind of slid into this and became like
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: super comfortable really quickly. And although we have some really
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: fun interactions. So when when you get engaged on TV
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: and you have like those three months where you can't
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: see each other like in public, you do these happy
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: couple of visits, which are in LA and they get
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: you an airbnb and you go hiding out and it's
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: actually really it's romantic. You can't see anybody, no one's
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: allowed over. You're you know, you have handlers that bring
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: you food or whatever you need, Like you could call
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: and say, like I need a puppy dog today and
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: they bring you on like they take great care of you.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: So you just get to hang out and like learn
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: about each other. So it's really kind of like I mean,
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: you come up the show and you take a real
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: kind of a leap of faith. So I felt like
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: I did talk to too that we got engaged. It
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: was we were in love, but we didn't really know
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: each other outside of like bachelor. So that's a really
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: like controlled environment. So you get all of a sudden,
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: these wonderful days together where you have nothing else to
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: do but talk to each other. You can't leave the house,
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: you can do nothing else, and that you know usually
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: has a pool and they're bringing you food and it's
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: just a really really great time to get to know
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: each other. So I would call that kind of the
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: honeymoon period. But after that we just started like kind
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: of living like normal, like old people that have been
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: around with each other forever.
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: You agree with that, I will say too ahead, but
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: I will say too I'm sorry to keep jumping in.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: Is Joana and I and a lot of people have
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: been through things in their lives. But we've been through
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: some tragedy and you look at big things is happening,
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: and so much life is just little things. And you know,
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: we'll talk about it, we'll go you know, it's it's
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: just life. It's going to go on. So I think
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: we we just look at the little things. Don't let
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: them slow you down.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I love that there's so much perspective having a relationship
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: later after you've already been there, done that, you just
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: get it in a different way.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I know again you guys don't live together, but you
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: had a month together. But in terms of do you
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: know when you do end up? And first of all,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: is the idea to live in one house together? Yes'
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: as okay, yeah, okay, do.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: You do you dale?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Have you thought about, like you say, the little things?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: But this can get under people's skins. Who does the cooking,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How have
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: you all discussed any of that?
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: Not really because well, he everyone in all gives me
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: heck because I do a lot of cooking videos and
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: so they're like all of his friends say like, does
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: she cook for you? And he's like, she's never made
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: me a meal, so.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: But we haven't.
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: It's so true. I think, I think, I mean that
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: did happen. But we like, we're super social, so when
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: we are together, we like going out with friends and
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: doing stuff like out in like out in the wild,
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: because you know, we were pulled off in the bachelor
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: mansion and then like in the happy couple homes for
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: so long that we kind of got a lot. So
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: we haven't figured out that part of it. But I
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: think he should do all the cooking and all the
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: cleaning and the laundry and all.
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: I don't know, Amy, I would tell you the house.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: Let's say it's just five thousand square feet, it needs
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: to be about thirty five hundred square feet for closet space.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: You should see the amount of clothes he has.
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: That is the pot college just having fun.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: That's so true. I know you don't.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: You said you've never fought a lot of our questions
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: are about how people and how couples handle conflict.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: Do you. So, do you have conflict?
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, do you have any rules like never going to
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: bed angry, never cursing, never threatening to leave the relationship?
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: We don't have any like drawl like a line in
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: the sand things. But I feel like we are pretty
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: good about communicating. I think we only had one like
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: silent treatment kind of a couple of days where there
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: was a conflict and I guess we weren't ready to talk.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: Who was the silent one?
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: He was.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Right, just like now.
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: And sometimes you're just better off just think things through.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: It drove me crazy. I was like, let's talk, like, yes,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: what are you mad about?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: So?
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we got.
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: There, but it took a little time.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Were you what where do you put the importance of
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: friendship in your relationship? I know people are all into
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: the romance and that's great and that's awesome, but do
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: you consider each other best friends or friendly? How do
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: you deal with that in your relationship?
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Do you want to take that one?
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: If I met Yeah, when we were in New York,
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: the best times I had with Joan were usually in
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: the morning where we're having coffee and just talking as friends.
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: And we have she's got four kids, I've got too,
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: she's got grandkids. We've got a lot of things going on,
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: so we bounce things off each other, and that friendship
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: has really blossomed over this fourteen fifteen months where you know,
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: there it's kind of like, they're my kids. I've got
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: to deal with them. But what would you do? And
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: joan one time with my I should say one of
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: my kids, not going to mention the gender. She goes,
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: they just mature a little bit later and her sons
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: are a little bit older than mine. And that's you know,
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: friendship of going, hey, I need some help or let
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: me you know the old I use it saying too
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: do you want to be right or do you want
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: to be happy? Or do you want me to do something?
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: Or just listen? And we're very good at that.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah you said that really early on in our relationship.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: He's so I was telling him something like something that
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: happened that day. He goes, do you want me to
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: give advice or do you want me to just listen?
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: I'm like, huh, I think I want just listen this time.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Or I'll say, oh, I think advice this time. So
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: he's really good about not interjecting but listening and then
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: ask me what I need from it.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: That is a great practical, little piece of advice. That's
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: a nugget that can help everybody's relationship. That's good stuff.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was good stuff. That's amazing. Actually, I think
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: we could both use that. Like that is such a
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: perfect because sometimes you actually don't know what the right
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: thing is to do, and asking that's really cool.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: Or sometimes just venting helps you get to the place
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: you need to figure out the answer. But you have
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: to vent to somebody who's going to be like, I
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: don't feel like he judges me. Like I can tell
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: him the worst part of me and he doesn't judge,
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: and so like I can get to maybe where I
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: need to be by just talking. Or sometimes I need
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: like tell me what you would do.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: That's very very cool, do you all And not that
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: you're speaking of judgment sitting here on your pedestal judging
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: other couples, but obviously you've lived enough life and you've
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: seen and you've had your own other relationships. Do you
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: see something that other couples do that you can now
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: look and say, ooh, that's a mistake, Like.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Please don't do this.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I know so many people who listen to this podcast
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: and these episodes, these love story episodes, are looking for advice,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: are looking for answers to solutions, and maybe you're having
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: difficulty in their own relationships. What is there something you
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: see other couples do and you say, please do not
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: do X that I certainly do.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: How about your talk?
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of it, especially with some of
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: the people that I work with, is you've got to
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: put your family first. When you're young, you're trying to
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: make money to buy the house, to put the kids
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: in school, to put clothes on them, right, You've got
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: to put your family first. And I changed my working hours.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: I'm involved with two businesses where we close at four
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: thirty and that way people can get home, they can
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: beat traffic, they can go to the grocery store, and
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: that type of thing that that's important to me. In
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: my thirties and forties, I work sixty to seventy hours
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: a week. That's just how it was made. That's what
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: we did. And you look now and it's it's tough
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: because a lot of times you have dual income families.
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: They're working, they're helping grandkids, they're doing that type of stuff.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: So just being considerate and really understanding what the other
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: person's going through.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, mine is probably more simple. I feel like, like
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: I get that sometimes you need to take a breath
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: before you say something because you don't want to say
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: it wrong. You don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. But
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: I hate the silent, Like I don't think like you
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: should go a day, like you shouldn't go to bed
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: without having talked to Something is bothering you, and it's
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: bothering you enough like to have that kind of effect
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: that you just want to shut down. And that's especially
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: a time when you need to do so. I think,
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: you know, being silent about stuff and holding a grudge
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: and not talking it through, is it just smolders and it.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Never leads to resentment. Yeah, all of that stuff.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Do you all have to make an effort to keep
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: the spark alive, especially knowing that you don't live together,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Do you have to think about it and make that effort.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: I think just doing long distance you have to make
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: an effort. So I think it's as simple as making
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: sure we are together. Once we're together, the spark's fine.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: It's just the logistics of living, you know, half a
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: country apart. Is a little harder, and he you know,
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: he's running a business. He's busy, so like I need
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: to go to him maybe more than he comes to me.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: Or it's just a little harder, Like his is not
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: a business where you can really work remotely, so he
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: needs to be in Kansas, and when he's not there,
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: he's worried about what's going on back at work.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: Abe. I will tell you it's an old cliche, but
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: love languages I think are very important, especially as people
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: mature and they go through life and they find out
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: what's important. And Joan and I we've worked on this
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: because I like touch. I do just for putting your
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: hand on my leg or my back or holding my
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: hand makes me feel so much better about the really relationship.
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: So those are things that we work on and Jones
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: really made an effort on that.
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not like a
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: touchy feely person. And so I remember we were just engaged.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: We were finally out in public and we were walking
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: down the streets in New York and he held my hand.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: I was like, what are you doing? Like I don't
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: hold hands. It's just weird and foreign to me. And
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: I remember he was at my house and he said
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: to my daughter, what do you do? He said, you know,
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: what do you do when Noah like reaches out and
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: hold your hands? She's like, I'd hit him.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: So have you adjusted to that now? And you have
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: more comfortable holding hands?
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: And I am definitely more comfort yeah, yeh, yeah, yeah,
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: but I do have to think about it sometimes, like, wow,
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: you know, I know that it makes him feel good,
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: So I do it. And it's becoming more and more
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: natural to me by forcing myself to do it. And
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: it's completely on me. It's my weird thing. So I
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: get it all right.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: Last couple of things here and Chuck, this was one
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: from earlier that we kind of skipped over. We know
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: you all are long distance, but give us an idea.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: What is the longest amount of time that you all
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: have had to spend a part in your relationship?
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: Three weeks? Three weeks and then like we were in
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: New York the next weekend, I came to see some
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: friends in Maryland and went to see Joan on the
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: second half of the weekend. We're going We've had a
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: couple of times that have been three weeks, and this
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: is one. But we're going to be all together all
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: next week. So we don't live together, but we are
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: extremely busy people, and Jon's got some bachelorettes, some baby
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: showers and things like that that are coming up, and
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: so we probably won't see each other for a couple
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: of weeks there, but we've had it's just been incredible
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: the amount of time we've been able to spend together,
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: and we've got to do some really fun stuff. And
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: that's you know, is it a relationship? You know from
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: the fact is if you're always vacation and doing stuff,
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: it is because we're adults. We like talking to each
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: other and we have to interact a little business in
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: that too, and that sure makes you figure out the relationship.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I mean we most of our
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: interactions when we're together, we're doing something really fun. Like
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: we've been with you guys before, Like last year we
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: were at jingle Ball and like it's we're usually doing
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: like something really really fun. It's a great way to live.
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: And I got to say, like as when I was
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: married to my late husband, like you planned for this
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: point in your life. You know, you work really hard,
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: you raise your kids, you you know, stow away some
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: income so you can live comfortably and then you get
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: to be this like golden part of your life and
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: you need a partner and I lost mine, he lost his,
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: and we found each other. So it's just like it's
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: what you planned for and just kind of worked out
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: in a weird way for us, but we found each
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: other and we get to live like this cool thing.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: That is so beautiful.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: People look at you, especially when you get later in
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: life and you're looking for that second chance, right sometimes
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: maybe a third chance, and they want to have what
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: you all have found. What would you say is the
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: key to your relationship success between the two of you?
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: I think respecting the other person.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so true. I was thinking, like wanting similar things
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: out of this part of your life. Travel, if you know,
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: whatever you want. We are very similar. You know, we
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: want to go out and have fun, but we also
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: get that we have responsibilities and we respect each other,
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: like I know he has to work, he knows I
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: have to be you know with my family here. So
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: we're very respectful of each other. But we're still like
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: really interested in like living this second part or life.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: And the second part of life. I guess you will
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: always get asked but when is the next big thing
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: for you guys? I know you talked about moving in
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: together at some point, you talk, we got all kinds
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: of stuff. What are the next headlines we're going to
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: see from about you too? And the next step you
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: take in your relationship? Go ahead?
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: Do you answer it?
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: He always Joe has a son getting married. That's there
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: and Amy, that's one of the things that we that
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: we've had to deal with. But Joanes had a son
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: that got married last year and has another one getting
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: married this year, and it's we're adults and we don't
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: want to compete with that. And Joan is just so
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: involved with her family, with the grandkids and all that
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: she wants to make that the biggest time for them.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: It's very sweet.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to take any focus off of them.
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: I mean this, the light has been on us a
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: long time. I don't we don't need to be in
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: the limelight at all. And I want like their special
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: time to be their special time. So I'm not talking wedding.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: So maybe twenty twenty seven, who knows, but certainly not
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty six.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: We respect that and we get that it's fun being engaged.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, right right, last, just
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: even the word fiance. It's fun to say, that's so
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: much better, doesn't it? Right?
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: Like I would always we talked about this.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: We would struggle when we were dating, you know, like
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: people you would have to reference, like, well, my my boyfriend.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: In my fifties, I have a boyfriend friends.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: So it's so fun to say I'm steady.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: My fiance's fun.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: I'm very elegant.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: We go together. We look forward to seeing you in
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: the flesh man, not on the screen the next time.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: But it's seeing you man real quick.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: Amy, Can I tell you a quick story?
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: So was it, honey? When it was? It was the
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: jingle Ball that we were at correct.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Out in La Yeah, like a like a year ago.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: And I watched very little TV, very very little, I
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: mean hardly any at all. And I remember the bar
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: and hotel and I see this guy and I like
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: to look at guys that are in shape, and I
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: see this guy that said shape and I see this
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: good looking guy and he standing there and I go,
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I know you from somewhere, and that was your fiance,
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: And I was like, he is much better.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: We had a good time that lotty my daughter was
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: with me at the time. Yes, correct, So this is
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: special to us. We've been through our hell, you all
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: go through your hell. But to get to know you
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: all and to have stories and memories and actually stories
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: to tell like you just just did, Chalk is not
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: lost on us. Joan Chalk seriously that it's special to
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: us to be able to have these conversations and to
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: get to know you all and to have you all
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: in our lives, given this is not where we thought
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: our lives would be, but we love exactly where we
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: are and you all are a part of that and
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: it's not lost on us. So thank you both.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: We feel the same way. Thank you for having us