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Estranged Mom is Now My Neighbor · Nurtural Disasters

• Lisa: Hello and welcome to Nurtural Disasters. This is a podcast for those of us with toxic or emotionally immature parents. We might not have a bunch of credentials next to our names, but we do have PhDs from the Hard Knocks University. Basically, we want this to be a validating space for adult children of parents who had no business having children. Ken: Welcome to Nurtural Disasters with Ken and Lisa. Hey Lisa. Lisa: Hi Ken. Ken: It's been a long time, hasn't it? actually in recording real lifetime, it's actually been a long time, but you know, we've been putting episodes here and there. been a really bad situation with our provider, lots of technical issues. Lisa: Yeah. Do you wanna say the name? Should we like put him on blast or no? Are they gonna do you think they're gonna fuck with us? Do you think they'll retaliate? Ken: I we're not big enough for them to retaliate. I just wish there was a day where it were like people retaliated against us. Lisa: It it just we had such technical issues. They did an update and it made editing so difficult. It was so dumb. And it wasn't just me because I went on Reddit and I looked up the name of our provider. I don't know if I want to say it. But people said some really funny shit. I thought trying to remember what the funniest one was, but people were like pissed. The update was so stupid. Ken: Yeah, a lot of the stuff didn't make any sense. yeah, editing the stuff, it was terrible because it would just freeze after like every time you try to make a cut or silence the other mic. Lisa: the thing is. We couldn't even see and we couldn't even see our cuts on the timeline. So so Ken: Yeah, that was like the that was like the least of our worries. It would have been great if we had a live show. I could just imagine how bad it was if we st had a like a camera going on too. It would just be like s terri it would just be like I don't even know what you could do at that point. Lisa: yeah, someone I think someone wrote they gave the interface to an intern and then everyone went on vacation. So No well it said it that's what it seems like. Because that with the the interface changed and all these changes that they made, they everyone was making fun of Riverside on Reddit. And I was Ken: Tha that can't be true. That can't be true, right? Well, you s you you said the name, so we might as well Well, actually it doesn't even matter 'cause 'cause our website is like linked to Riverside, so it's Lisa: my god. He said you're right. Ken: Or our websites like link to Riverside and you know, that and and you know what? I'm I've never dug deep on like Riverside until like that time and I found out a little bit about Riverside, not necessarily good things. Lisa: my god, we fucked it. really? Okay, maybe maybe you shouldn't. I like I don't want him to f like to retaliate against us. But Ken: just ba just know that headquarters are in Tel Aviv. Lisa: the Yeah. interesting. Interesting. Well, on that note, let's get to what's been going on. So the last time we talked, I texted you this shit, Ken, but so I got this random text from my uncle, and he's like, his daughter had communicated with her mom, you know, his ex and Ken: That's all I'm gonna say. I did not know that before. Lisa: Basically told her that my mom now lives in my neighborhood. So, if you've been following along, my my mom and I are not talking. I've been estranged. I've in no contact for I think at least 11 years, I think. At least. And before this, she was living in the East Coast. And from there I found out she had moved to the middle America somewhere. I don't want to say the name of the state, for some reason, I guess she didn't like it. I don't know. Now she lives in my neighborhood in LA, which is weird because I'm like, why would she doesn't have any ties here? except for me, and I don't speak with her that was just so weird and my uncle told me, you know, be careful. I mean he knows she's a dangerous person. But I I did a lot of updates on my house last year because we were having a lot of break-ins and home invasions. Like literally my neighbor I have a neighbor who had a home invasion. So after that, I added cameras to the outside and we have a fence. we have this tall fence outside. So I it's pretty protected. I have a couple guns, you know. Just in case she tries anything. I don't think she will. Ken: It's always good to be prepared. Well ex well explain how you actually figure it out, like other than what your uncle said, like how you actually figured out that she was in town. Lisa: Yeah. Well, yeah, good a good point because I I Googled her name and I Googled like the to the city I live in. I live in in LA, but it's a suburb of LA, which I don't want to mention. so put it in the neighborhood and then it shows there was like a a next door post and on Facebook two different you know, like on Facebook they have lost and found dogs and her name popped and it had her profile. But it didn't have her profile picture, but it had her name. And it had like the fake year that she this says that you know, she lies about her age. she says she's ten years younger, even though she's sixty seven. So six seven. So she so she tries to say that she's It's now she's going by fifty seven. Okay. Whatever. So she has her fake year and her new name and it was her. I knew it was her. But the thing is I had blocked her on pretty much all social media. but I I had to use my roommate's Facebook account, and my roommate hasn't used theirs in like years, and it was like, Facebook, like they only do TikTok, you know. Too cool for Facebook. I don't know. And I was like, can I just like Ken: That's where all unfortunately that's where all the boomers are. Ask me how I know. Lisa: Y y yes, I know. And they sign their name after a comment. They l they leave you a comment and then they they'll sign their name at the bottom. Ken: They leave the all their information on there. It's frickin' bananas. It's almost like they don't know how social media works. Lisa: It's like it's not just like they don't I okay, here we go, boomer bashing, but like I've seen some things too, but like so yeah, she's on there, and there's a post on next door. So she has a picture of this dog, his cute little puppy. probably like I was see maybe six months. And this beautiful blue eyes, so cute. it's like, lost my dog. if you've seen it, I will reward you and whatever. And I was like, what? And then there was tons of comments under that her posting. people were saying I you've seen it. And then finally someone had found it. And they put a picture. they actually took a picture of the dog. And they're like, I c I can't leave it because I have a dog in my house. So I'm leaving it in the backyard just to for safe. And she's like, I will compensate you and I guess they got reunited and stuff. in my head I'm like, She lives in my neighborhood. So that confirmed that she is whether it's in my neighborhood, but like at least in the vicinity. But the the the place what's funny is that the place where the dog was found was five miles away from our the neighborhood that she supposedly lives in, which is with mine, that means that dog's been gone for a while. she probably didn't even notice he was gone at for How long it would take for for a little puppy to get five miles? I mean well it would have to be which is weird. And and then in the comments, one of the ladies wrote, He has a collar but he doesn't have a tag. So wasn't s Wasn't neutered, just in it wasn't chipped, nothing. And then they were like tell basically telling her, make sure your gate is with a lock, telling her like basic shit. I mean, that's not to say that like everyone who loses a dog is, you know, irresponsible. Because in my neighborhood w sometimes when I'm walking my dog, I'll see other dogs loose. but it's because it's there's really high winds sometimes in my neighborhood, so the the gates will fly open, like the side gates, and the dogs will just get out. They think it's a game and they go, Woo-hoo, freedom! They just start running like it's a game. They don't realize it's really dangerous, you know. Some of the streets are there's a lot of traffic. but th for her knowing with my mom, she's not a responsible dog owner. She ha she's had previous dogs and she was pretty neglectful to them. Like to the point where I like I had to remind her to leave them water because she would forget. Like, they're hungry, they're obviously thirsty. And she Yeah, like she's a horrible, horrible pet owner. Like I wouldn't trust her with a fucking goldfish. So the fact that she doesn't have a dog, but of course, you know Ken: That's pretty bad. Lisa: her kids are gone. Like, I don't talk to her. I'm sure my brother, he's he's always his job is very like, they send him out to travel everywhere. So he's never there. she probably feels lonely. And the dog gives her supply, give you know. But it's it's concerning. She's she I guess she's just moved a few months ago because I talked to my dad and I was like, I just started with, does my brother live in LA or anything? And he goes, No, not that I know of. And I'm like, Well, I'm asking because I found out that my mom is in my neighborhood. And he goes, yeah, your brother told me that he was helping her move. And I'm like, You didn't fucking tell me? I didn't tell him that, but it was all through text. I'm like, why didn't he fucking warn me? He knows how she is. Like he's so oblivious to anything that's not his special interest, I told him, Well, she's in my neighborhood. And he goes, that's terrible. And I'm like, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, thanks. So thankfully she hasn't tried to contact me. Ken: Thanks for it. Heads up, Dad. Lisa: You know, she's obviously been in LA for months. I mean, unless you're stalking me, which Ken: Yeah, but th that's the crazy thing, it's like why is she here? That's the thing we're trying to figure out. Lisa: She doesn't have any ties. Like she barely had any friends. Ken: Which makes it even more creepy that she's here. Lisa: Yeah. And maybe it's like a lover or something. Because when she was married to the one guy and she was living here in LA, she had a lover. And I know because she was always bragging about him to her sisters. Like, this is my this is my lover. So she was cheating on her husband. I think he's deceased now. I think he's passed away because he was elderly. So yeah, so that's what's been going on. You know, I talking to friends and you know, one told me, like, go to the precinct and let them know that your mom is there, she's a dangerous person. I mean I can't really follow a restraining order because something needs to happen first. So I Ken: Yeah, that's pretty much it. You can't just file willy nilly file something against someone that you think is gonna do something to you, unfortunately, that you can't do that. Which is actually not a bad thing because can you imagine can of worms out. Lisa: You can't do a lot. Yeah. 'Cause you know, You know, I know LAPDs already they're they have so much work. You know, they're overworked, understaffed. Just for something that might happen, I mean, there's not a lot they can do. And I I get that. But so this is what I've been dealing with, but thankfully nothing's really happened. yeah, is so th this is weird. I do know that like I don't feel like too threatened by her, like in this sense I don't think she'll try anything. But I noticed that my my nightmares are back, which is that's not good. Well there's like I'm in the middle of like a war zone. Ken: What kind of nightmares? Lisa: And like the two f they're fighting and then I'm being shot at by like one side and the other side threw a grenade at me and then I kicked it 'cause I was on the roof and then I kicked it down stairs, like to the floor level, and then I'm running, I'm being chased, and then I run and I hide up like I climbed up a tree and I'm hiding up there and then I see a little house, but it's in a c quiet open neighborhood, which is weird, and like around the corner is literally like this war zone. So even I talked about to this about with my therapist about like my recurring nightmares and he's like, Your nightmares always have a theme of it's always danger. There's always danger. So that's back. And then I had another nightmare, but my mom was in it in this one. And we were like at this nightclub, and she shows up. and she's causing drama. So but you know, my my therapist just tells me, every time you have a nightmare, write it down with pen and paper. Don't don't try to like type it. Write it. And for some weird reason, nobody knows why, your nightmares will they just go away. And I I tried that. And it works a lot of the times, but there's some recurring nightmares that won't go away. And there's literally when I looked up my dream journals out this same occurring nightmare. With it so I like, I guess I have to work this one out with my therapist. Ken: Just reminds me of you know how I like Twilight Zone. There's a couple episodes about like people with nightmares and recurring nightmares. I think there was one where a man couldn't sleep because he had the same nightmare that he was in danger. yeah, it's kinda like that. He was afraid that he was gonna die in his sleep. Lisa: Mm-hmm. my god. I mean sometimes they're so intense and It it reminds me of this documentary so I was a Paris Hilton actually it was years ago when she came out like and she talked about she was part of the trouble teen industry and she tried to suppress it, but when you try to suppress a trauma, it just comes right back up in other ways. she was like I try not to think about it, but then she would have these recurring nightmares about like they were kidnapped from her bed and being chased and which makes sense. It was until she like processed her trauma that she was able to free herself of this recurring nightmare. so it just shows how trauma manifests into nightmares and how common it is, people like us who have a complex trauma. I'm trying to deal with this right now and hopefully things I I I don't know what her deal is to come back here to LA because most of the family we have is either in Mexico or it's in Middle America. Like that's it. So unless it's a boyfriend, maybe. Ken: that's the hope. I talk to my fiance and I tell her when you're dealing with narcissists or someone that's very manipulative, nothing's by accident. Everything's very calculated. Like people don't just end up at the same place. and sometimes you feel like you're paranoid, right? 'Cause you you're thinking this person's probably like your mom's probably has some agenda. And that's almost like you're being gaslit to Think that something's something does miss. Lack for a better term, yeah. Lisa: I mean I I'm wondering if maybe she's trying to like win me back. Try to find a way to like Ken: I well if she's bored, maybe. Maybe she's bored. Maybe it was it like w like we said about the Mother's Day thing. Like maybe she w really did have a very lonely smother's. Lisa: She must be. man. Yeah, I you know what's an interesting thing? I get the feeling that she's lonely. she'd have to be because you you move to a place where there's no family. She doesn't have a whole lot of I don't remember her having a whole lot of friends. I don't talk to her, so like what ho what do you do at night? how do you spend your days? With a dog, I mean I know she likes to take classes at like community colleges, to occupy her time, but it's like hobby stuff. It's not like calculus or any like chemistry. It's super easy classes, you know, pass or fail. You know, piano. Yeah. Ken: I mean it's still cool good to do that. I mean, if you're didn't have such a, you know, terrible relationship with your mom, you kinda want your parents that are like retired and not working to be, you know, invested into something to like maybe like a hobby or something or even video games. Something something to sp yeah. Because for old people I think they just I could I could understand it's like you they probably just run out of stuff to do and, you know Lisa: Yeah, get out of the how boring. Ken: A lot of times f even friends fall f fall through like sometimes. Like you don't see your friends for a while and then unfortunately at that age like your friends start going, you know. They start yeah. So it's always good to keep busy and that's a good way to probably meet other people. Lisa: Mm. Yeah. Yeah, how boring it would it be to just sit in front of the TV all fucking day. And I I know a lot of elderly people have done that. it it kinda like radicalizes them. Like they s like watch very slanted news channels and and then they just turn they just say say weird shit and you know, they start like, what? Ken: Yeah. Well they still they regurgitating what they're watching too. So if you think about how like young kids are, they kinda regurgitate everything that they're watching and it kinda has that down slope when you're bec when they become elderly. It ha kinda goes by the same pattern on the downslope. Lisa: Yeah. Ken: Like my dad, he doesn't watch cable news, but he does watch all these weird YouTube channels of things that might not be true. On the most part it they're not true. They're just maybe it's almost like tabloid journalism and some of them are like AI like generated news and Lisa: my god. Is is it the conspiracy stuff too, or is it all just regular Ken: It's not even just conspiracy. It might be I I think my dad has at least I he's more level-headed in terms of what he's watching and what what seems closer to reality. So it'll be like things about, you know, the economy or tax breaks or tax refunds and stuff like that, or certain things. I think the craziest thing he said, I might as well say this because it's freaking hilarious. he said that. Lisa: Yeah. Ken: When Kamala Harris was running for president, this is like a how how long has it been? It's been has it been like a almost like two years? He said, Yeah. He said to me that when she wins, she's gonna sub out and Michelle Obama's gonna be president. And I'm like, what? I'm like, how? He's like, I don't know. It's just gonna happen. Lisa: It feels like twenty. Huh? What? no w that is weird. Okay, he's okay. What? Ken: I'm like a a lot of stuff was like he and he tells me about le these tax like credit or tax refund or something like that or you know like a stimulus package and he keeps telling me stuff like this and I'm like where you hear it from YouTube I'm like my god and and and it it is a huge thing in like certain communities. I remember when I was doing some, you know, some research during the past presidential election, they actually had like Lisa: You too my god. Ken: like TikToks and Instagram accounts talking about kind of like propaganda in Spanish for Latinos in America, kind of like things that are like conspiracy theories and all that other stuff. a lot of them were trying to push them to vote Republican. so it I thought it was interesting because it's it's a whole kind of orchestrated effort to push some sort of agenda on like a community of people. Lisa: Mm-hmm. yeah, that's it happened to my cousin. Sh yeah, my cousin has gone like the deep like QAnon. She she believes that the world is flat and she is part alien or something. she literally went on like two different podcasts talking about all these weird conspiracies. Like JFK Juniors who's actually still alive. Ken: I'm trying to figure it out, but is this much different than like I saw Tupac in Miami or I saw Elvis living somewhere in the Midwest? Lisa: yeah, she talks about stuff like a lot of the celebrities, they have body doubles or clones or something. Clones. the people who died, like when they you think a celebrity died. I think it's the cl I'm trying to keep track dude, I can't keep track. It's so fucking nuts. Anyway, and this she just like keeps reposting AI slop. It's so obvious it's fake. But like Ken: Sure. Lisa: She really bought into it and it just but Ken: And sometimes I wonder, did she really buy into it or did she see an opportunity? Because honestly, if nobody paid attention to this, if people didn't give her any attention, like would she still be doing this? Lisa: No, my my cous Yeah. Well she's a very g very gullible person. Ken: I won't even say gullible. let's say She disbelieves this stuff, but why is she on other people's podcasts like promoting this stuff and you know, what's the added benefit other than attention, right? she probably makes some money from it maybe. but it's it's it's Lisa: Mm I no. Ken: Who knows? Who n who knows? a lot of social media is like I've t I told you recently, especially with my birthday blues, we've had if you haven't listened to those episodes about bad birthdays with our parents, part of birthday blues was like perpetuated by social media. And a lot of social media kinda remember I told you about the surviv survivorship bias, and there has been research about how when you keep seeing things on social media and they keep repeating a certain thing to you that everybody is doing this, it's you have a very skewed pers perspective or outlook on how the real world is. So it's very dangerous. It's like if you go on their social media, you think all your friends have like houses, kids going on vacation or or on the other end, like you know, believing in aliens and stuff like that. Social media just it is there gonna come a point where we're just gonna sit here and be like, Hey, remember when everybody on social media is like glad we all kicked that, right? Because it just it was just it's just bad for a lot of people. I didn't remember you know, growing up that social media was just bad, right? It just seemingly got worse and worse. Lisa: I yeah, especially with AI. I I mean a lot of it looks good, realistic, a lot of it it's super obvious slot, but people can't tell the difference. And I noticed that. And I it seems like your dad really can't Ken: Mm-hmm. Or d or don't or don't want or don't want to actually to know the truth. That could be it too. Lisa: I just and also I j god my god I feel bad for her do my mom's dog. I don't even want to say the name, but but Ken: hopefully it doesn't run out in the street and you know I think one thing that I'm worried about is like when dogs or cats run loose and you know a lot of the meat they're in like by car. Yeah, get run over. I get that's why my cat's not allowed to go outside because I don't know if I told you this, but my cat had minor surgery on his paw. So Yeah, it's got overgrown. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Yeah, they get hump yeah, they get run over. Yeah. Yeah, you told me s the claw thing, right? Something about his claw. Right, you told me. Ken: And he was very aggressive. Like they couldn't do it naturally, so they had to drug him. Lisa: and you said it was not cheap. Fog yeah. Ken: Of course it's not cheap. It's d I th you know what the crazy thing was? Half of the half of the cost was put to put anesthesia. Lisa: Wow. You know what? I think that that makes sense. Because with my dog, the vet said, she has tartar in like the back of her teeth 'cause she's little dogs they tend to have really bad teeth, especially like they c it collects tartar or whatever. they're quo they quoted me twelve hundred dollars and it's like it's so expensive. Ken: Mm-hmm. Yeah, for teeth cleaning it's it's it's brutal. Lisa: And I think most of it was the anesthesia 'cause they give me an automized quote and it was I was looking and I was like, Anesthesia, five hundred dollars. What the fuck? But then I found another place and they do like dental cleaning. It's called like non anesthetic teeth cleaning or something. And they do it for maybe a hundred and eighty bucks which I mean I would have to do it 'cause she's You know, I don't want her to lose her teeth. She won't be able to eat all the fun stuff that she loves to eat. I know the chicken and the cheese. So and I do brush her teeth every night, which is people are like, What? I'm like, Yeah, I do But Ken: It's a moment it's a moment with her dog. I feel like you have a nice moment where with your dog and that's actually that's actually kinda fun for you. I'm not sure if it's fun for her, unless she really likes that toothpaste. Lisa: No. It's it's peanut butter flavored. She loves peanut butter. She no, she fights me. She doesn't fight me as much as she used to, but she kinda goes trying to goes backwards and then but she likes the toothpaste, so she'll go like she'll start licking her her lips and like her chops and like her teeth like with her tongue. It's kinda funny. But she doesn't like the actual she she doesn't fight me as much anymore, which is good. Ken: Yeah, t maybe she likes a toothpaste. Yeah. Yeah, I think think with pets, you just have to get them used to a certain thing. So, you know, our vet our our vet was telling us, Hey, maybe we should go out more and meet more people. So every time he leave the house, he's not thinking that he's gonna be going to the vet. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Ken: We're thinking about getting him a bubble backpack. Like we're gonna put him in a little spacesuit bubble thing. Lisa: A backpack. I've seen those. Those are funny. okay. Well yeah. Ken: Well, it's summertime here and it's quite hot. I don't think we could do it right now. Think about putting him as a therapy pet so we could take him into stores and stuff like that. Lisa: I don't do that with my dog. I did want to ask you though, so I know narcissists are very weird with pets. did you have pets growing up? Ken: I did. Lisa: T dogs and cats? Ken: we had a dog growing up. and I'm not sure you remember I had rabbits before. Actually had rabbits and then Yeah. my dad seemingly loves animals, so that's so that's kinda odd, but I mean I mean even but the thing is I mean he's willing to, you know, take care of the pet. Lisa: I remember their rabbits, yes. Mm yes. Well no Ken: But there was a time where he wa he went through like some mental issues, even more so, and he wanted to get rid of the rabbits. Lisa: He loves animals, but wanted to get rid of the rabbits. Got it. Okay. Ken: Yeah, he had he had w he had he went through like some sort of like I won't wanna say depression, but he went through some sort of like issues mentally. And you know, but I think he relented from that and we came to a point that me and my sister were thinking I think he loves the pets more than he loves his kids. Lisa: my god. I've seen that with narcissists where they'll basically completely dote on their pets and then just ignore their own kids. Ken: Well, the the the pets don't talk back usually. The rabbits definitely don't talk back. They just let him like cuddle him like all day long and they're like, Okay, sure. I'm down with that. Lisa: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they they just get that supply because they I mean, especially dogs, they just give you that unconditional love. You know, you could kick them and they'll just come right back to you. well Ken: yeah, at least my dad was kinda like he I think that one redeeming quality about my dad is like he does love animals and he always told us growing up that we shouldn't get any pets, but a lot of it was because he didn't want to see him like pass away. And that was like a really big deal for him. so at least there's some redeeming qualities about how my dad is and you know, for your mom, I worry that Lisa: Thank you. Mm-hmm. That's that's good. Ken: Especially for pets, it's like is it just for her just like a accessory or is it like a pet for my dad? It's it's it's kind of like he he really does love the animal. But for your mom, is it just like a you know, like a purse or something like that? Or you know, like you know, something like a fashion accessory. She goes out and then she has like a dog and dog goes away, just buy a new dog. And I hope that's not how she thinks. Lisa: Huh, you too Yeah. Yeah. A little bit, yeah. It's like a but it you took the words right out of my mouth. 'Cause it's yeah, I was about to say it's more of like it's an accessory, gives you a little bit narcissistic supply, but Ken: Mm. Lisa: But yeah, it's not like for the right reasons. You know? You should get a pet for the right reasons and it cut it breaks my heart because like with me and my dog people say I spoil her, but I'm very attentive to her and I actually feel guilty when I leave the house. And she just stares at me from like well I well I you know, put my car in reverse and she just looks at me like this sad puppy dog eyes and or when I put my shoes on I she knows I'm about to leave and like makes me feel really guilty. but someone like her, she's not the type that's like, yeah, I left. I'm leaving and I'm c I'm gonna leave you for hours without water and food and feel no guilt, no remorse, nothing. It's just like it's there. Ken: Yeah, that that that's in my opinion, that's totally not cool that she's doing that. I mean leaving them with food and water, I think that's like the bare minimum. Lisa: Yeah. And obviously not not even shelter because, you know, if the dog escaped, so she's not even providing like providing safety Ken: Did the d by the by the way, did the dog run away because it was in distress? It was probably hungry, it was probably looking something for something down the street or like looking for a new owner. Lisa: It's probably hungry. Yeah, right? It's a I'm gonna dip Ken: Bog dog's probably like this bitch. I'm like I'm I'm I'm out. I see the gate open. I'm gonna run for it. So so do you have you pinpoint a location of where she lives? Lisa: No, I Googled it. B it has an old address from back in the East Coast. But it it shows that like it was bought in December of last year. 'Cause it's you that shit is public record, like all the real estate stuff. it was bought in December and that's it. I'm wondering if she had 'cause I guess she sold her house, the house she was living in. It was an ex big expensive house. I'm like what Ken: Mm. Mm-hmm. Lisa: A big huge house for just her. And she had put her husband into like a one of those homes because of his dementia. So she's like, imagine living in this huge house, like a mansion, Lakeside House by yourself. weird. So I guess she sold that at a profit, mind you, and then guess bought this house. But I that's the last I know. Yeah, that that's it. I don't know. See the thing about my neighborhood is that a lot of see if you go to the houses, they have converted garages. They call ADUs, additional dwelling units. So they people they rent out for cash. Like you could rent it out for a family. Basically it's a tiny little apartment in their backyard for fifteen hundred bucks a month. Maybe I wonder if she just got that because Ken: Rent out. Lisa: Is well, rents are super high in LA, like all of California, right? Ken: It is. It is very h well, it's not even just just it's it's around the country and I've heard mostly in the greater what is it, North America. It's like Canada's very expensive, United States is very expensive, so it's yeah, so just rent is across the board expensive in in these two countries. Lisa: Mm-hmm. I mean, LA's not cheap, so maybe I wonder if she rent Ken: I think we're con I I think I think we're conditioned to like see that wow, that's expensive, but that if we go somewhere else it's like, ooh, discount. Lisa: Yeah. Right. maybe she's in a Ken: You would take a road trip and you're like, damn, the gas and the stuff is cheaper, huh? That's weird. Lisa: yeah. Yeah. So yeah, to answer your question, I don't know. Maybe she's paying cash for one of these like to live in an ADU. 'Cause they're very th it's very prevalent in my neighborhood. Ken: Could be, could be. I mean I mean pretty much she cashed out on the house and that's pretty much her retirement. Who knows? Lisa: Who who the fuck knows? As long as but I keep thinking, like, what am I gonna do if I re like run into her? What are I fucking there? Like what am I to say? Ken: Yeah, that's why you that's why you avoid the Viarta market or something like that, because she might end up being there. but yeah, so I remember I dated like a like a Japanese girl and when I moved to Japan, I knew she lived in the same city, but we never ran into each other. So the likeliness of you running into someone in a city, actually not knowing their schedule or anything like that is pretty slim. Lisa: I love IRT. I get my f Ken: Even if you run run into them maybe like in passing, you're not gonna even notice. So here's hoping that that's kind of what happens for you. Lisa: Yeah. Or yeah, maybe I'll just have my roommate do the shopping. Door dash it or yeah. Ken: Yeah, just have your roommate do it, so or just have them send it to your house. That's a thing now. Or th they're like the you know the little robots actually deliver groceries now. I call them WALL-E. Every time it every time it like drives past me, I'll be like WALLY! Lisa: co was it cocoa? Well yeah. And they have names too, 'cause when I I passed one robot thing it had like a name on it and I'm like, okay. It's kinda c it's cute, but it's also like, this is our future. Ken: I was like, I need a friend. Lisa: Well but how do they not get robbed? I mean unless it's like Ken: I'm pretty sure people do some bad stuff to them, but they have like cameras on them to, you know Lisa: okay. okay. And they of obviously censors so they know how to cross the street. Ken: they have sensors, but I think they're I'm not sure like exactly how they work, but maybe they have like it's logging everything, so maybe they actually have manual control like takeover from like someone that could control it remotely. Which I hope they did they do that for Waymo because Have you seen some of the Waymo's like you could actually glitch it and make it not be able to like go forward? Like if you're in the intersection, let's say like there's a situation where you have like a Lisa: For I was about to say Waymo. my god. Yeah. Ken: you know, crossing what do they call those people, like traffic hops. which is pretty ho it happens pretty often here when, you know, when the power goes out or something like that. And plus I we live next to like a lot of sporting venues. And, you know, there's gonna be a traffic hop there and there's gonna point cars there. And the Waymo is gonna go up to like someone that's cr like in the middle of the street and just stop and not know what to do. So yeah. There's a lot of that. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Well that's what we have to deal with now. So Ken: Yeah, we should really do a palate cleanser because who knows, maybe her mom w might show up in front of your house, so we might as well do now. Lisa: So thirty nine minutes. What do you wanna do, Ken? Can you can you imagine like here like is at least I think your doors say someone's out your door, I'm like, fuck Ken: Well you texted me w that your mom was what in what in your neighborhood? I'm like what? I'm like, what are you talking about? she's actually she's like actually here. I'm like, what the hell how? And how did you find out? I'm like, I got I got details and I'm like, what the hell? Lisa: Ha ha Ken: That really is like kind of like a like a bad nightmare coming to life. Lisa: Mm. Yeah, maybe she's trying to win me back. obviously she hasn't done any of the work, you know, like hasn't gone to therapy, hasn't worked on herself or toxicity, nothing. It's like it's just Ken: So how she go win you back? Like just give you stuff and money? Lisa: Try to buy my love. Ken: Yeah, that's that's the only thing I could think of. Like she hasn't progressed like emotionally or, you know, so Lisa: No. My love don't cost a thing. You're welcome. Taco Flavor Kisses. Ken: Thanks, J Lo. Yeah, that's how we became friends, taco favorite kisses. You get that impression. And you know what's crazy? My fiance does the same impression she did slash you two should just do it to each other. It's funny. Lisa: Ha ha Okay. It's just that's such a hilarious episode. yeah, I actually showed it to my my little cousin 'cause she didn't she didn't know my reference. So I showed her the the South Park episode and there's one part where I forgot that was like lewd with you with Ben Affleck in the car. I don't know what I want to say it. I was I was like Ken: Taco flavor kisses. yeah, I almost wanna say it too, 'cause I was like a I th I think that was hilarious though. Lisa: And i it's funny, but you know, she's underage. She's only well, she's she was sixteen at the time I showed her, but still, you know. And I was like, Close your eyes, close your eyes. Like, well fetch I'll fast forward this part, you know. my god. And she's really innocent too. She's seventeen now, but she's really innocent. Like she's gonna be eighteen in a few months. And I was I was telling someone, I'm like, She seems so innocent. And I even told Ken: Ewanath spludge. all the stuff she l she's gonna learn when she hits eighteen. Lisa: And I and I told her dad, my uncle, I'm like, I can't believe it, she's so innocent He's yeah, everyone everyone in her private school is j just as sheltered as she is. That's why they're so innocent And he's like And he at the place that they work at, there's like 17 year olds, 18 year olds? And he said they seem way older than her because they're from a whole different neighborhood where like they had to grow up really fast and no private school for them. No one just like these kids even smoke weed, they talk shit. It's like, yeah. So And and then my uncle goes, It's good that we're gonna take her to Mexico soon and I'm like, Yeah, yeah. She turns eighteen soon or so she can see how the rest of the world lives 'cause she's just yeah. So anyway, I th that's like a different rant. But the tyco yeah, taco flavored kisses, yeah, my love what were we saying? My love talkasa thing, J Lo Ken: yeah. In interesting thing is you know, anybody that's listening to this podcast, feel like what you go listen to the to the birthday ones and especially the listen to those jack those Michael Jackson ones because apparently those are doing pretty well. Lisa: my god, I just saw that. It Ken: I don't know who's listening to the Michael Jackson episodes, but you know, it's kind of Thank and and the thing is w th I wish someone w I wish someone would actually contact us. I was like, they're listening to us, but it's it's actually not telling us where they're listening from. I'm sure we paid someone to go into analytics they'll be able to l gauge what they're listening from, but you know, we don't have any money, so Lisa: Yeah, thank you. Thank you for listening. And also b name recognition, right? Well we have the analytics from our from Riverside, but Ken: Mm-hmm, but the problem is it's it it's there's a section that says other and I'm like, What's other? Lisa: Yeah. The pie chart says other and we're like, hmm, well we have YouTube, we have Apple Spotify. It's like what is the other? Ken: I'm still waiting for maybe like that email or phone call it's like, Hey, we found your podcast, you wanna do a commercial or something like that? Or something like that. Lisa: Yes, we you guys are so popular that you yeah, add space, you know. Ken: Yeah, 'cause I remember what, when I was like twenty something, I was doing like a Tumblr. Yeah, see how old that was. And I was doing like a like a pr like a photography project and I think like a literary agent actually wanted to sign me. But the book never got published, so I never made any money off of it. So Lisa: Was it that book about things to do with your diploma? Ken: Yeah, and the thing is, sh I think they were she was gonna try to get me like money for like an advance and I should've just really pursued it. But I'm like I'm thinking it was like, hey, this could be a leading up to something good, but never nothing nothing ever came of it, unfortunately. Lisa: Yeah. Ken: Maybe one day something will happen, like hopefully with this podcast, yeah, you know. Lisa: Yeah. Ken: Yeah, yeah. So yeah, the the you know, the Riverside's been so bad that the the the technical glitches that are on here were so bad that I I don't know, by the time this episode comes out, like w I had to re release a couple episodes in order to like fill time. I think one of is gonna be like the Beckdum episode. Which is ironic because They use David Meckham and like Victoria Beckham meme to advertise something. Probably to advertise this new interface that's this that's like terrible. Full of glitches. Not great. Lisa: Well we'll see when we edit this tomorrow. I'm gonna well I know you like to edit at a well, I'm not gonna say. So you like to edit and Ken: I do, so it's like when I tell you something, it's just like it's all messed up, Lisa. It's all messed up, like it just freezes Lisa. And I was like, Yeah, it's Lisa: I was so pissed. You remember I was like, this is so stupid. I can't do anything. I was good I was so like and I was like, you know what? We're gonna boycott it. And we went like kind of Karen's. We channeled our inner Karen, you know, which is basically a narcissist. And that's why this is why narcissists get away with everything. Cause they will basically we have to wear them down and you just complain. You just Karen the shit out of them. Till the till they just give in. Until th they just like, fine, I'll give in. Just and it it you know, it's basically like it's a metaphor for like the what is is a metaphor? F how nar narcissists, you how they get away with everything. That's why they just wear people down to get to their way because they're so fucking entitled. I'm like, okay. Ken: man, but we didn't get anything out of this. Lisa: It's eight, they they changed it. They changed it, I we can see the cuts now. Ken: I I I I think a lot of people complained. I th I don't think it's just us. I think a lot of people complained. Lisa: It wasn't just us, obviously it was c yeah, I'm not taking all their credit like a narcissist take credit for other people's work. Ken: Well, that's why you complain because we're y a lot of the times you're not the only one, so if you just keep it quiet. It's right to complain. It's like we're paying for a service and you know, it if it's not working and it worked before And the thing is, you know I work in IT, it's like there's there's constantly like glitches all the time. It's like you have a as a company, if you change something, you have to be okay with rolling it back if it's not working. Lisa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm. Yeah, the problem is that we paid for the entire year. I paid off like a year's worth of stuff and rather than do like month to month, maybe I should maybe we should have done that, but I don't know. Well when we edit this tomorrow. you could hear the sneeze. It wasn't me, it was my roommate. Ken: Bless you. Well yeah, th if anybody's been actually following our podcast podcast, I had my birthday. We went out to go we went out to go eat. It was very nice. Lisa: Hello. Yes, we try to give you a nice little thing. Is it is this the server? W he was Ken: What there's like there's like something up as butter or something like that, the server. Lisa: Yeah. A lot of the see, a lot of servers in that neighborhood tend to be kind of you know, not very friendly, they're kind of snobby. Ken: But but but but we're weren't even in like the fancy fancy part of Hollywood. Like we're not like in one of those like bistros where we know like the waiters hey the the waiter's a aspiring actor, Right that girl right there, she's the Instagram model. It's not even like that. Lisa: yeah, yeah y yeah, I could tell he was a inspiring inspiring actor. Like I they ha he has that look. Like he just moved here maybe a few years ago from Oklahoma or whatever. And it's like Ken: I I think last time it was Iowa, wasn't it? Lisa: Whatever. Some middle America, right? Ken: Yeah, where's Caitlin Clark from? I like Caitlin Clark. Lisa: Who's that? Ken: she plays WNBA. Lisa: Yeah. But this is enough for a do you think this is enough Okay, cool. Ken: yeah that's a And and well anything at anything to add to the you know, Our palate cleanser. Lisa: Yes, well hopefully, you know, my mom learns her lesson and You know, learns how to basically takes into advice the advice that the people in the comment section left for her, you know? Note her your fucking dog. Ken: I d no man, I really hope nothing happens to that dog. Lisa: no. Such such it was so cute. I did I send you a screenshot? What? How you say I send you I thought I did send you a screenshot of the the posting that she posted. Ken: No, you did not send me a screenshot of how that dog looks like. If I see What kind of dog is it? Lisa: I I feel like if I posted it, people would know. I I just don't wanna dox the dog. Ken: Well, you know, you know, just send it to me outside of this. you know. Lisa: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna send you the s maybe it's a screen this is a screenshot. Ken: man, did you see like the new Michael Jackson stuff that just came out? You know, like right after the movie comes out, this it's very coordinated effort when people release stuff, isn't it? Lisa: you're talking about the Michael Jux th Netflix the Netflix document the dis was it the deceived or something? What was it called? Ken: A new kinda like documentary. Yeah. was it the verdict? I think 'cause remember you told me about it too. I'm like, how very good timing. It's this is not a mistake. They were waiting for the movie to come out. Waiting for the movie to do very well, and then plunk this right there, see what happens. Lisa: The verdict. Why did I say the deceit? I'm trippin'. The timing was mm. Yeah. The Ken: Which is fine 'cause we're gonna if if people keep listening to our Michael Jackson material about his parents and Joe Jackson and stuff like that, we'll keep doing it. Maybe that'll be our launching pad. Lisa: Okay. we could talk about the verdict. I don't know. What do we talk about? What do you mean shitty parents, so Ken: I don't know. Up y remember in the first couple episodes, you were saying, like, yeah, we don't wanna be talking about, you know, celebrity news, but I think what s four out of the five top episodes in terms of streams are about celebrities or, you know, about popular individuals. Like we did the K Kathy Bates one, we did the two episodes about Michael Jackson, and we did the one about McKinsey. you know, the girl that caused yeah, the mean girl that caused the mean girl murder. So we might have to do that. I think our friends were fine listening to our like stuff about ourselves, but yeah, I think a lot of other people want to listen about things about people they might actually know about. Yeah. Lisa: Mean girl murders. Yeah. What Ken: by the way, we're almost we're all we're almost at episode twenty. Lisa: Woohoo. Ken: I think that's like the threshold, right? And I think that's like the yeah, the one percent of the one percent. So we get that. Lisa: One percent, one per cent. Ken: Profit. Lisa: Yes, another self park reference. Step one, a million people. Step two who co who knows? Step three profit. Profit, yeah. Ken: Profits. Hey but that'd be great to end up like a South Park kinda thing. They're billion dollars, huh? Paramount? Apparently Paramount. Paramount's cutting costs and decided to give South Park a billion dollars. Right. Rai Lisa: the pair ma mm. Mm. okay. I'm looking for this the screenshot I took of the dog and I I don't think I deleted it, did I? No, I hope I didn't delete it. Ken: It'll probably be in your deleted stuff. Lisa: I know. Well I hope I didn't. What if I do a search for a dog? Put some pictures of my dog. Ken: Surprising it's surprisingly good if you say like you want to search like a thing like such as like a cake, a dog or a cat. It's actually pretty good about tr searching what it could be. but but every time like I take a picture of my cat, it keeps telling me the breed of the cat. I'm like, you guys are wrong because they're totally different every single time. Yeah, Conan's been Siberian cat, Norwegian forest cat, domestic long hair. Lisa: Tell pictures of my dog. No Ken: main coon. I'm like I'm pretty sure all those are either half right or like very wrong. Lisa: No. Ken: He he's just orange. He's just he's just staring out the window. So yeah, but yeah. So we just passed your life four. So did your dog go very crazy with the fireworks? Lisa: No I give her half a Xanax. Ken: My cat's not afraid of fireworks. He just stares. Well, he gets scared if it's like a big burst of light in front of you, but who who's not afraid of that? But other than that, he's like he's like looking out and is like, hmm, interesting. Very interesting. Lisa: it's very brave. Yeah. Ken: So where are the cuddles? Lisa: you know what? No. Ken: Can't find a picture. Lisa: well. I Ken: That's okay. Send it to me after your show. Lisa: I shall send it to you after the show. Okay. All right, Ken, that's I think that's it for today. For this week and yeah. Ken: Mm-hmm. Lisa: All right. Okay. Ken: Okay. Well, this is the end of the show. Hopefully you got enough palate cleanser. Cleanse your palate. you know. Have a cucumber. Is that is that a palate cleanser? I don't know. I was like I don't remember. I I don't remember all that. Something I don't even know anymore. Here ha have your palate cleansed. we'll talk to you next time, everybody. Lisa: Ha ha ha. Okay. Well thanks for listening. Ken: And hopefully hopefully we're not gonna have like an episode where like Lisa's gonna be like, I ran into my mom at the market. Lisa: Yes. my god. Ken: It could happen, but let's not hopefully it won't happen. But stay tuned, maybe it will happen. Lisa: Don't manifest it. Just manifesting? Ken: That doesn't work. Remember I remember yeah, I remember when my sister told me that, the manifesting thing and like everybody was talking about the secret, it was like, right, if you manifest it'll work, yeah? Yeah. Where where's my Ferrari? I've been manifesting that sucker for years. Well, I'll just go buy it at the store. you know, the model kit. Lisa: Okay. Bye bye Ken. Nice talking with you. Bye. Ken: Okay, bye everyone. Bye Lisa. Bye everyone. Nice talking to you. Bye.