Latest / The Breakfast Club / DONKEY: UK Man Pleads Guilty To Having Sex With A Cow
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Damn hegged, he hogged.
- 0:10Speaker 2: They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm
- 0:12Speaker 2: not making new people do these days.
- 0:14Speaker 3: Called Donkey of the Day, and it really caught me
- 0:17Speaker 3: off guard.
- 0:17Speaker 2: Damn Charlamagne who got the donkey out to day today?
- 0:23Speaker 2: Donkey Today for Thursday, August thirty first goes to a
- 0:26Speaker 2: human named Liam Brown. Now, I want to start this
- 0:28Speaker 2: Donkey today by saying, my fellow earthlings, it is the time.
- 0:32Speaker 4: It's time that we need to bring shame back.
- 0:35Speaker 2: Okay, we need to bring back shame, or should I
- 0:37Speaker 2: say we need to bring back shaming?
- 0:38Speaker 4: All right? Public shaming? All right?
- 0:40Speaker 2: There are those of us who still publicly and privately
- 0:42Speaker 2: shame of circle.
- 0:44Speaker 4: But we have gotten away from shaming folks, right. We
- 0:46Speaker 4: don't know, you know, we don't.
- 0:48Speaker 2: Know if we want to shame people anymore, because people
- 0:50Speaker 2: are sensitive and you end up getting backlashed for publicly
- 0:52Speaker 2: shaming someone for something they shouldn't be doing.
- 0:54Speaker 4: That's the crazy part. Folks be out here doing the wrong.
- 0:57Speaker 2: Thing and we can't shame them for doing the wrong thing.
- 0:59Speaker 2: We have to have him for their foolishness. Strange times
- 1:02Speaker 2: that we live in. But I say it's over for
- 1:04Speaker 2: all that when certain things happen and those certain things
- 1:06Speaker 2: are proven to be true, and folks need to get shamed.
- 1:08Speaker 4: Not earlier this year, I had high cholesterol, but that's stating.
- 1:11Speaker 2: And baby asp in the day, along with a lot
- 1:13Speaker 2: more exercise than the healthy dyet, got my cholesterol profile
- 1:15Speaker 2: excellent and well below gold dropping a clothes bombs from me. Okay, Now,
- 1:19Speaker 2: one thing I cut from my diet is red meat.
- 1:22Speaker 2: Ben cut fried foods out of my diet, but red
- 1:24Speaker 2: meat was something that I was still holding on to.
- 1:26Speaker 4: When the doctor told me let it go, I let
- 1:28Speaker 4: it go.
- 1:28Speaker 2: The Chick fil a Cow would be proud of me
- 1:30Speaker 2: because not only do I eat more chicken, I don't
- 1:32Speaker 2: do dairy either, because Jess and I got a dermatologist
- 1:35Speaker 2: named doctor Natasha Sansi, and she forbid us from eating dairy.
- 1:38Speaker 4: That's why our melanin glows the way it does.
- 1:40Speaker 2: Okay, well, Liam Brown, he disagrees with us not taking
- 1:43Speaker 2: advantage of cows. Liam Brown wants us to love cows
- 1:46Speaker 2: the way he loves cows.
- 1:48Speaker 4: You know who in this room loves beef? Ras your
- 1:50Speaker 4: hand that.
- 1:54Speaker 2: You think you love beef as much as Liam all right,
- 2:00Speaker 2: I don't think y'all do, because the way Neam loves
- 2:01Speaker 2: cows is nasty.
- 2:02Speaker 4: See.
- 2:03Speaker 2: Liam was found guilty of sexual penetration with a living
- 2:06Speaker 2: animal and causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal, which
- 2:10Speaker 2: makes me wonder did he use a condo? Okay, having
- 2:12Speaker 2: unprotected sex on a protected animal should be a felony.
- 2:15Speaker 4: All right. Liam is twenty five years old and he
- 2:16Speaker 4: was caught having.
- 2:17Speaker 2: Sex with a cow after a suspicious farmer set up
- 2:20Speaker 2: cameras to catch his ass. The farmer felt like his
- 2:23Speaker 2: cows were being abused and targeted, but he didn't realize
- 2:26Speaker 2: how deep that abuse was until he set up a
- 2:29Speaker 2: CCTV and an alarm, and that's when he caught Liam
- 2:33Speaker 2: sneaking onto the farm and boarding the beef bus.
- 2:36Speaker 4: All right, how you gonna do a hot beef injection
- 2:38Speaker 4: into some actual beef?
- 2:40Speaker 2: Liam, I'm from the country, so I've heard a cow tipping,
- 2:43Speaker 2: but giving tips to the cow was nuts. And Liam
- 2:45Speaker 2: can't deny it because the new surveillance system caught his
- 2:48Speaker 2: ass on camera plus a sample of DNA.
- 2:53Speaker 4: All right, don't tell me not.
- 2:55Speaker 2: The King shame a man who probably uses pickup lines
- 2:58Speaker 2: like ducks cold quack cow's go move, let me stick
- 3:01Speaker 2: it in and yo go all right, this man Liam.
- 3:05Speaker 4: Had the nerve to cry and caught what you're crying for? Liam?
- 3:07Speaker 2: How because you feel stupid because you went to the
- 3:10Speaker 2: Urban Dictionary and didn't read what the definition for a
- 3:13Speaker 2: sex cow actually was. Now, a sex cow, according to
- 3:16Speaker 2: the Urban Dictionary, is not a cow at all. Okay,
- 3:19Speaker 2: it's not a cow you have sex with. A sex cow,
- 3:22Speaker 2: according to the Urban Dictionary, is a fat girl you
- 3:25Speaker 2: keep around just to have sex with, used in a
- 3:27Speaker 2: sentence after giving me a BJ and my sex cow
- 3:29Speaker 2: and I almost broke my bed. Are y'all ready to
- 3:32Speaker 2: start shaming people yet? Okay, we should shame whoever is
- 3:35Speaker 2: behind Urban Dictionary for calling fat women sex cows.
- 3:38Speaker 4: All right? Now, I know the chick fil a cow
- 3:40Speaker 4: wants us to eat more chicken.
- 3:41Speaker 2: But clearly Liam has never been a wingman, all right,
- 3:44Speaker 2: nor thigh man our brust man.
- 3:46Speaker 4: All right. This fool likes beef, and I bet you
- 3:48Speaker 4: he was a vegetarian. All right.
- 3:50Speaker 2: He don't want to eat cow, but he'll put his
- 3:51Speaker 2: plant based penis in one quickly. Now, Jess Hilarius is here, Okay, Jess,
- 3:57Speaker 2: it's corny dad joke time.
- 3:59Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I'm not at all.
- 4:05Speaker 4: I just.
- 4:08Speaker 2: I just need your voice because just from Baltimore, and
- 4:11Speaker 2: there's nothing I love more than a Baltimore accent. And
- 4:14Speaker 2: I think her Baltimore accent is perfect for this today. Now,
- 4:17Speaker 2: just I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions and
- 4:19Speaker 2: I just want you to answer them.
- 4:21Speaker 4: Oh my god.
- 4:23Speaker 2: Yeah, the farmer caught Liam Brown on camera having sex
- 4:27Speaker 2: with his cow. Some would say that being he's being
- 4:30Speaker 2: that he's on camera, him and the cow made of what.
- 4:35Speaker 1: Move?
- 4:37Speaker 4: Okay, I got a couple more like that. I like that.
- 4:41Speaker 2: I like that one.
- 4:42Speaker 4: I like I like that one. I like that one
- 4:44Speaker 4: Liam Brown. Okay, when Liam Brown had sex though, Okay,
- 4:48Speaker 4: Liam Brown went on his farm to make what on
- 4:51Speaker 4: the cows? What moves? Okay?
- 4:59Speaker 2: Well, if Liam Brown had sex with the cows, I
- 5:03Speaker 2: hope he at least tried to set to what the mood.
- 5:08Speaker 1: Yo.
- 5:10Speaker 4: Nobody's laughing. Nobody's laughing.
- 5:13Speaker 3: Nobody is laughing.
- 5:14Speaker 4: It's not funny.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Yo.
- 5:16Speaker 3: I hate this move, and it's literally because.
- 5:20Speaker 4: Of my accent.
- 5:20Speaker 3: He's a clown.
- 5:22Speaker 4: The morrow of the story is stay away. From red me.
- 5:25Speaker 4: All right, please give Liam Brown the biggest he hawed.
- 5:28Speaker 2: Well, he was.
- 5:29Speaker 3: Probably crying any more because he was separated from his lover.
- 5:32Speaker 3: He had to go to jail. He was in love
- 5:34Speaker 3: with that cow had some some some goods.
- 5:38Speaker 4: You know. Oh my god, it's so we might have
- 5:41Speaker 4: wanted to have a family.
- 5:42Speaker 3: That's not listen. You know what listen cows are I know,
- 5:46Speaker 3: they just hate us.
- 5:48Speaker 2: You know.
- 5:48Speaker 3: It's like if we y'all not killing this, y'all ravens
- 5:51Speaker 3: like you. It's like, yo, what is happening on? How
- 5:54Speaker 3: do you ski on a cow?
- 5:56Speaker 4: Bro?
- 5:56Speaker 2: Like?
- 5:57Speaker 1: All right, oh my god, Well that's light in the moon.
- 6:10Speaker 1: All right, well peace b e t we'll see out
- 6:13Speaker 1: the moment, I will see all.
- 6:14Speaker 2: The donkey today is brought to you by the law
- 6:17Speaker 2: office of Michael s lam Andsoft.
- 6:19Speaker 4: Don't be a donkey. Dot pound two fifty on your
- 6:21Speaker 4: cell and say the bull.
- 6:23Speaker 2: If you've been hurting a construction accident, that's pound two
- 6:25Speaker 2: five oz from your cell and say the bull.