Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / COLD CUTS: Plastic Jizz
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: The hold Archy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kyzy.
- 0:04Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio Hodarchy US.
- 0:07Speaker 2: Indeed, the Hives there on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show
- 0:10Speaker 2: this Monday evening. The time is five forty seven. Now, fellas,
- 0:13Speaker 2: you'll be aware of the fact that I've moved to
- 0:16Speaker 2: the CBD ah forget, one of the best decisions I've
- 0:24Speaker 2: made in my life. Absolutely love it.
- 0:26Speaker 3: What's the name of your apartment again?
- 0:28Speaker 2: No? For juwe pH Yeah, okay, Well, after this story,
- 0:38Speaker 2: I'm tempted to name it the Jiz Palace because there's
- 0:42Speaker 2: one thing that I've got a bit of a bone
- 0:44Speaker 2: to pick about living in the city with.
- 0:47Speaker 3: I got a bowl a bit.
- 0:51Speaker 2: Uber eat now Friday night, let me take you through it, fellas,
- 0:54Speaker 2: And I know this is first world problems.
- 0:56Speaker 3: Now just quickly before you start. Did this thing on
- 0:58Speaker 3: Friday night? Did it bug you at all?
- 1:00Speaker 2: Yeah? Bug me?
- 1:01Speaker 3: Okay? Good, yes, well bugging let's force things man, that's
- 1:08Speaker 3: a record.
- 1:09Speaker 2: Get home. And this often happens at my house on
- 1:11Speaker 2: a Friday night. What are we going to have for dinner?
- 1:13Speaker 2: No one?
- 1:13Speaker 4: You know?
- 1:14Speaker 2: My wife and I don't know. And I said, leave
- 1:16Speaker 2: it with me. You know, oh, I'll get uber eats now,
- 1:21Speaker 2: I know, leave it with me. So I finally, you know,
- 1:25Speaker 2: I go through it and what about this place? What
- 1:27Speaker 2: blah blah blah. Yeah, finally get a place. I'll just
- 1:30Speaker 2: order some stuff. Boom boom boom.
- 1:32Speaker 5: Done.
- 1:33Speaker 2: Okay, So I ordered the food on uber Eats and
- 1:36Speaker 2: then I'm sitting there and I get a message nearly
- 1:40Speaker 2: there from the driver and I'm like, right, God, that
- 1:42Speaker 2: was quick, because I said it'd be like twenty twenty
- 1:45Speaker 2: five minutes. And I went, oh, okay, coming down. Not
- 1:49Speaker 2: happy coming down, I said, because I like to go
- 1:52Speaker 2: and meet them out the front. I don't like them
- 1:54Speaker 2: to go into my apartment.
- 1:55Speaker 5: Can I ask a question?
- 1:57Speaker 6: Yes, when he sees nearly the air or whatever? Was said,
- 2:01Speaker 6: are you looking on the app there and you can
- 2:02Speaker 6: see where the vehicle is and the ETA?
- 2:05Speaker 5: Yes?
- 2:05Speaker 2: Yes, and what I often find. Because that's why I
- 2:08Speaker 2: was quite surprised. I was like, oh, well, that's weird
- 2:10Speaker 2: because it seemed like you're still a fair amount of
- 2:13Speaker 2: time away. So I go down there a way outside
- 2:17Speaker 2: to do it. And now I've got to tell you
- 2:19Speaker 2: my history of uber EPs in this particular place. It's
- 2:21Speaker 2: never been successful. So I'm sitting there and he goes,
- 2:26Speaker 2: I've arrived, and I'm like, good, I'm here. I'm out
- 2:30Speaker 2: the front.
- 2:31Speaker 6: You're looking at your app Now you can see this
- 2:33Speaker 6: right outside your house.
- 2:34Speaker 5: He's right there, he's on the streets.
- 2:37Speaker 4: Ah.
- 2:37Speaker 2: Yes, And I go, okay, well you're not here because
- 2:40Speaker 2: I'm standing outside the apartment, and he goes, oh, okay,
- 2:44Speaker 2: just give me a minute. Nothing. Then he calls me
- 2:48Speaker 2: and he goes, I'm nearly there, and I'm thinking, okay,
- 2:51Speaker 2: you obviously got the wrong places coming down to me,
- 2:54Speaker 2: and I go, okay, great. Then I'm sitting there nothing
- 3:00Speaker 2: and for a couple of minutes and I go text
- 3:02Speaker 2: them and I go, so where are you?
- 3:05Speaker 3: Are you the picture of his carl, Yes.
- 3:07Speaker 2: But it's it's just showing it sort of wobbling around
- 3:10Speaker 2: on the street basically. And then before he even answers,
- 3:16Speaker 2: I get your blah blah blah has been delivered rate
- 3:19Speaker 2: your driver, And I'm like, right, what, it hasn't been delivered.
- 3:25Speaker 2: So I ring him back and I go it's saying
- 3:28Speaker 2: it's been delivered me and what the fuck?
- 3:30Speaker 4: What?
- 3:34Speaker 5: It was so close and.
- 3:38Speaker 2: It was just sort of he sort of said something
- 3:40Speaker 2: and then hung up. And then that thing came up again.
- 3:44Speaker 2: Rate your driver, and I.
- 3:46Speaker 3: Was like, let me guess again. Five stars.
- 3:49Speaker 2: No, So I rang and back cut off, rang and
- 3:54Speaker 2: back cut off again, and I was effan and jeff
- 3:58Speaker 2: and like you wouldn't believe fellers ring it back again
- 4:04Speaker 2: and then and then I get the uber line and
- 4:07Speaker 2: it's saying, if you've got a complaint to make or
- 4:09Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah blah, and you need to do this, this,
- 4:11Speaker 2: this and this meantime us spend eighty bucks on this
- 4:14Speaker 2: and some other Basard's got my food. Yeah, I'm effing
- 4:17Speaker 2: and Jeffery, all of this.
- 4:18Speaker 5: On an empty store, all of this on an empty store.
- 4:21Speaker 2: I was angry, true, sorry. I go back up to
- 4:24Speaker 2: the apartment Evan and Jeff and my wife. I want
- 4:26Speaker 2: a disaster. Why don't we just get some dirty bird.
- 4:30Speaker 2: I don't want to promote this particular thing. And we went, yeah,
- 4:33Speaker 2: just do it, babe, let's just do it. She said,
- 4:35Speaker 2: I'd drive and go and get it because this is
- 4:37Speaker 2: the uber here is just useful. Yeah. So she no,
- 4:41Speaker 2: So she drives off to the nearest dirty bird shop.
- 4:47Speaker 2: Both my wife and I hate their chips we don't like. Really, yeah, no,
- 4:52Speaker 2: we hate them. So my wife goes there and orders
- 4:55Speaker 2: the chicken and says, we don't want any chips. Can
- 4:58Speaker 2: you give us two tubs of Coleslaw? No problem?
- 5:01Speaker 3: So you'd rather eat the coastal than the chick.
- 5:03Speaker 5: Yes, strange replacement. Not a potato and gravy guy.
- 5:06Speaker 2: And we got potato and gravy and costal, but we
- 5:08Speaker 2: don't want chips. Okay, my wife comes home, comes in
- 5:14Speaker 2: with a big bag of dirty bird, opens it up.
- 5:17Speaker 2: What's in the bag? Fellas chips? Three lots of chips,
- 5:21Speaker 2: potato and gravy, and the driest dirty bird sex pet
- 5:25Speaker 2: you will ever shove into your goal.
- 5:28Speaker 5: But shove it you did.
- 5:29Speaker 2: No coleslaw, Just three lots of chips, No coalslaw, two
- 5:34Speaker 2: little tubs of potato and gravy, and the driest chicken
- 5:38Speaker 2: I've ever eaten in my life. Five zero point one buzzies.
- 5:43Speaker 2: And in fact I was so riled up by the
- 5:47Speaker 2: stage I just refused to eat and went to bed.
- 5:49Speaker 7: Yeah, you should have gone to Reburger.
- 5:56Speaker 2: This is what I said in the outro. You know,
- 5:58Speaker 2: it's like, damn it. Why didn't I just get Rebig Year.
- 6:02Speaker 3: I can't believe.
- 6:03Speaker 2: And I know where they went again, and they always
- 6:06Speaker 2: go to the same place when they're Uber eight and
- 6:08Speaker 2: it's clearly not my place.
- 6:11Speaker 5: Got you good for.
- 6:13Speaker 1: The Hadarchy Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki.
- 6:17Speaker 1: Let's see who's joining Jerry and Mania on the Export
- 6:21Speaker 1: Ultra Grand Final Beer Garden too.
- 6:25Speaker 2: Yeah. We don't know what it is exactly, do we know?
- 6:28Speaker 2: It's a Grand Final in October and October in Australia,
- 6:33Speaker 2: in Sydney and Sydney, in Sydney, Australia, Sydney and Australia.
- 6:37Speaker 5: Is it Sydney in Australia the Sydney Australia.
- 6:41Speaker 2: So tell me, Patson, what's the actual prize?
- 6:45Speaker 4: Three nights in Sydney in a five star hotel, return
- 6:48Speaker 4: flights are races, races and Harbor Cruz.
- 6:52Speaker 5: Does that mean going to the races?
- 6:53Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 6:53Speaker 4: I think so, Yeah, okay, and Harbor Cruz and of
- 6:55Speaker 4: course the Grand Final experience as well. And that's joining
- 6:58Speaker 4: Jerry Mania in eight CE Seahead g Lane. Now, am
- 7:02Speaker 4: I right in saying the idea here is that we're
- 7:04Speaker 4: trying to find backbones that are going to make this
- 7:06Speaker 4: trip as punishing.
- 7:07Speaker 5: As possible for those fellas. I think that makes sense.
- 7:09Speaker 6: I mean I want to go and have a Grand
- 7:11Speaker 6: Final experience, so I can't go, then why should they
- 7:14Speaker 6: enjoy their Grand Final experience?
- 7:17Speaker 2: I agree. Let's go to the phone lines get a
- 7:20Speaker 2: never new massive backbone house life.
- 7:24Speaker 1: Yeah, good things, fellows. How are you guys?
- 7:26Speaker 2: Yeah? Good, thanks Evan. Tell me, mates, what do you
- 7:28Speaker 2: do for a crust? I'm just your casual everyday signwrider.
- 7:36Speaker 2: If you heard what you were just saying, they we're
- 7:38Speaker 2: looking for people to really punish the guys when they
- 7:41Speaker 2: get away. Basically get on the hammer responsibly, very early doors,
- 7:46Speaker 2: and just never stop chatting and talking to them and
- 7:49Speaker 2: being in their faces. I mean, do you think you're
- 7:51Speaker 2: capable of something like that? And Nevin, Oh absolutely, boys,
- 7:55Speaker 2: I'd love to just get in the face of g
- 7:58Speaker 2: Lane and just show them up and show them out
- 8:00Speaker 2: really done. Yeah yeah, that's the right editor. Yeah yeah,
- 8:05Speaker 2: all right, great news for you, mate, You're in the drawer.
- 8:09Speaker 2: Awesome things. Jimmy, you made Bastard Hour's life life's great brother.
- 8:17Speaker 2: Hell are you? Yeah? Good things mate? Good? Can you
- 8:20Speaker 2: be a pain in the ass, Jimmy.
- 8:22Speaker 5: Oh, I could try I have a good go at it. Yeah, yeah,
- 8:26Speaker 5: And would you do it, Jimmy.
- 8:28Speaker 2: Oh, I know, I don't know what. I don't know
- 8:31Speaker 2: if I do that the Ian Roberts things. But you
- 8:34Speaker 2: know I used to play league myself for me and
- 8:36Speaker 2: a guy that used to constantly drop the soap in
- 8:38Speaker 2: the shower. Is that right?
- 8:40Speaker 5: Well there you go, man.
- 8:41Speaker 6: Well one thing you could do was, since you've got
- 8:44Speaker 6: a bit of rugby league in your background, here, just
- 8:46Speaker 6: whenever g lane is not looking on the eye, you
- 8:48Speaker 6: just go up and you just close on them. Yeah, yeah, stiff,
- 8:56Speaker 6: just scream at them on the ground.
- 9:01Speaker 2: Good on you, Jimmy. You're in the drawer too, mate,
- 9:04Speaker 2: Thanks very much. Boys, Yeah, good stuff. I mean, it
- 9:10Speaker 2: is one of those things because that's a pretty whatever
- 9:12Speaker 2: it's going to be is it'll be pretty spectacular. A
- 9:15Speaker 2: lot of people wanting to get involved. I know that
- 9:17Speaker 2: you would.
- 9:17Speaker 6: Want to get involved. I'd love to get involved in that.
- 9:19Speaker 6: It's also it's a one off, and that's about the
- 9:21Speaker 6: rugby league, Jos. That's not the sort of thing you
- 9:22Speaker 6: go along to and you're just getting hamming it. Yes,
- 9:24Speaker 6: particularly if the wires are playing, that wouldn't be that
- 9:27Speaker 6: wouldn't be be there at all. I mean I've been
- 9:29Speaker 6: to I've been to one of the Grand Finals before
- 9:32Speaker 6: with the Warriors. I watched us lose in two thousand
- 9:34Speaker 6: and two, missed the one in twenty twelve. But if
- 9:38Speaker 6: they get back there again on going again, Oh mate,
- 9:42Speaker 6: it just doesn't fit, it doesn't. It doesn't sit right
- 9:44Speaker 6: for me that it's with with the Breakfast guys.
- 9:47Speaker 2: It really doesn't, especially with the Big Show. I mean,
- 9:49Speaker 2: we bleed Rugby League.
- 9:50Speaker 5: I don't get it.
- 9:51Speaker 2: Man, there's that Grand Finals that that great Stacy Jones
- 9:55Speaker 2: try that's right, I remember that scything through the gap
- 9:58Speaker 2: like the genius he was.
- 10:00Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, we were robbed that day. Oh huh, must.
- 10:06Speaker 2: Be white Stripe.
- 10:12Speaker 1: The Hurdarchy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keysy. Tune
- 10:16Speaker 1: in week days at four on Radio Hodarkey.
- 10:18Speaker 2: Faith No more there on the Radio Hodarkey Big Show
- 10:21Speaker 2: This Tuesday evening. The time is for our five fifty one. Hey.
- 10:27Speaker 2: By the way, even though Kesey's not here today, Mogi,
- 10:29Speaker 2: we're still going to do What's on the dinner with me?
- 10:31Speaker 2: Pug Son d What's on the deal with me? With me?
- 10:38Speaker 2: Pugsn so TIX through three, four eight three, what you're
- 10:41Speaker 2: having on the D, what your name is, and we
- 10:43Speaker 2: you're texting from. I'll get into that.
- 10:45Speaker 4: After six fifty dollar rebigovotches up for grabs.
- 10:48Speaker 3: Every text goes in the drawer.
- 10:50Speaker 2: Mogi. Ah God, I was sinking today. Ah. You know,
- 10:57Speaker 2: I'm in pretty good shape to compared to a lot
- 11:02Speaker 2: of people. You know, people go, geez, you're looking good, Jason.
- 11:06Speaker 2: But it's like.
- 11:07Speaker 5: People saying that to you.
- 11:08Speaker 2: Yeah. People people say that to me all the time.
- 11:11Speaker 2: You know, You've heard this sort of people talking about
- 11:15Speaker 2: how as you get old, you've got to take more
- 11:16Speaker 2: care of yourself. You've got to exercise, you know, you've
- 11:19Speaker 2: got to build up your strength. You've got to take
- 11:21Speaker 2: focus more on that sort of stuff, you know, because
- 11:24Speaker 2: if you don't use it, you lose it.
- 11:26Speaker 5: That's true.
- 11:27Speaker 2: And I've been thinking about that, you know, and I
- 11:29Speaker 2: pound the gym and I exercise all the time. And
- 11:33Speaker 2: I was just saying it to myself today. You know what,
- 11:35Speaker 2: I'm over it. I'm over this. I mean, I don't
- 11:38Speaker 2: know if you agree about this, but I feel like
- 11:40Speaker 2: I've earned my stripes. You know, I've done all that
- 11:44Speaker 2: sort of stuff, and I've reached the age now where
- 11:46Speaker 2: I should be able to just get work done. You
- 11:50Speaker 2: know what I mean. Forget all this exercise and whatever
- 11:53Speaker 2: head youth health stuff, the health stuff might need to
- 11:56Speaker 2: do that anymore. I mean, I'm rich as men. Why
- 12:00Speaker 2: am I doing all this when I can just get
- 12:03Speaker 2: work done, get my busies tightened?
- 12:05Speaker 5: Oh work done?
- 12:06Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 12:07Speaker 3: What did you think?
- 12:07Speaker 2: I said?
- 12:08Speaker 5: Well, some work?
- 12:09Speaker 2: Oh no, no work done?
- 12:11Speaker 5: So what's he talking about?
- 12:12Speaker 2: Like busy tightening? You know, because you guys are having
- 12:16Speaker 2: a few jokes yesterday about the fact that I'm wearing
- 12:18Speaker 2: a tight switch and my buzzies are very sort of productive.
- 12:22Speaker 2: Can you get those? You know? The other thing, and
- 12:24Speaker 2: you can relate to this big time mogie. I've got
- 12:27Speaker 2: no ass left, so shove a few things in my ass,
- 12:30Speaker 2: you know what I mean, just a couple of you
- 12:32Speaker 2: know what do they call those implants? Yes, you know,
- 12:35Speaker 2: a couple of a couple of ass implants. I mean,
- 12:38Speaker 2: I've earned my shype, so I should be able to
- 12:40Speaker 2: just get the stuff done, pay it off. I agree,
- 12:43Speaker 2: I agree, So you got but yeah, all that sort
- 12:47Speaker 2: of stuff.
- 12:47Speaker 4: Are you worried at all about the fact that the
- 12:50Speaker 4: reason that you work out is not necessarily just for aesthetics.
- 12:53Speaker 4: It's also like, you know, look after your body and
- 12:55Speaker 4: for your body to be for the health.
- 12:57Speaker 3: Yeah, your life, mate.
- 12:59Speaker 2: I'm fit as a fiddle. I mean you know what
- 13:03Speaker 2: I'm saying, No, what kind of fiddle? Well, like a
- 13:06Speaker 2: really fit fiddle, Fella.
- 13:09Speaker 5: How fit is a fiddle?
- 13:10Speaker 2: They're pretty fit they can be if you can play them.
- 13:13Speaker 6: Well yeah, well I sort of feel like, yeah, why not, Chuck,
- 13:17Speaker 6: you know, a few hundred thousand dollars at it.
- 13:19Speaker 5: I would go with.
- 13:23Speaker 1: Honker extension The Hurdarchy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kyzy.
- 13:30Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio Hodarchy.
- 13:33Speaker 2: Food Fighters. There on the Radio Darchy Big Show this
- 13:36Speaker 2: Wednesday evening. The time is ten to sex and Fellas.
- 13:40Speaker 2: We were just talking actually about that fantastic prize that
- 13:42Speaker 2: the listeners can win to go over to Sydney watch
- 13:45Speaker 2: the Leigue Grand File and coincidentally today this very day,
- 13:51Speaker 2: I was looking at flights to Sydney myself in October
- 13:55Speaker 2: strangely enough, and I'll be honest with you as always
- 13:59Speaker 2: when I'm doing this sort of stuff, I'm iff and
- 14:01Speaker 2: and Geiffin, you know, what I mean simple, Well it's
- 14:05Speaker 2: not simple, keysy, and then you go on to sort
- 14:08Speaker 2: of deals and it's like and then it doesn't work,
- 14:10Speaker 2: and then actually know and your phone number isn't actually
- 14:14Speaker 2: a phone number, and all this sort of stuff we're
- 14:16Speaker 2: talking when you're entering details to try and get the deal,
- 14:19Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And we've often talked about this,
- 14:24Speaker 2: and I actually ended up getting a deal, great deal
- 14:28Speaker 2: of deal, I tell you what, It's fantastic. But then
- 14:32Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I've got all these daughters,
- 14:35Speaker 2: hundreds of them. Yes, And as we've spoken before, that
- 14:40Speaker 2: generation seems to me to be much more online savvy,
- 14:44Speaker 2: much more onto it in terms of finding deals. Like
- 14:47Speaker 2: my daughters have traveled all around the world legitimately, and
- 14:51Speaker 2: like when I find out how much they paid for
- 14:52Speaker 2: certain things, and I'm like, hell, the do you do that?
- 14:56Speaker 2: How do you find these places? And I know, Keezy,
- 14:59Speaker 2: you're the same, You're very good at finding deals to
- 15:02Speaker 2: fight to Japan or something like that.
- 15:03Speaker 3: Yeah, my wife and I are pretty savvy.
- 15:05Speaker 7: Whereas you strike me as a guy who'll walk into
- 15:07Speaker 7: house of travel or something and say can you book
- 15:09Speaker 7: me a flight.
- 15:10Speaker 6: To or you'll find yourself trying to get a deal
- 15:13Speaker 6: online and the Internet sees to you that's not a
- 15:16Speaker 6: real phone number, yes, which I've never heard of.
- 15:19Speaker 2: What you put in your phone number and it just goes,
- 15:21Speaker 2: that's not an actual number? True? What that actually happened
- 15:25Speaker 2: to me? Flying back from Brisbane? When you have to
- 15:27Speaker 2: do the travelers declaration that were saying this is a
- 15:30Speaker 2: legitimate number.
- 15:31Speaker 3: Do you do the plus six?
- 15:32Speaker 2: Yes, all of it? Yeah, but that sort of stuff
- 15:35Speaker 2: happening to me, and I'm thinking to myself, what am
- 15:37Speaker 2: I doing here? Yes, sir, I've got this amazing commodity
- 15:41Speaker 2: at my disposal. Your daughter, my daughter is you know
- 15:46Speaker 2: I've reached an age now or I should just be
- 15:48Speaker 2: able to go girls, This is where I want to go,
- 15:53Speaker 2: This is when I want to go. There sort it
- 15:56Speaker 2: for me. You're oldest, My oldest is thirty?
- 15:59Speaker 5: How old I you hit it when you were nine?
- 16:01Speaker 1: Yes?
- 16:05Speaker 5: Crazy?
- 16:06Speaker 2: Right? Okay.
- 16:07Speaker 7: It's amazing the difference in like online capability between thirty
- 16:11Speaker 7: nine years of age and thirty Yeah exactly though.
- 16:14Speaker 3: Four like you are one hundred percent.
- 16:16Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean you come in here, kezy, you
- 16:18Speaker 2: know you talk about all your OVERACA channel Me and
- 16:21Speaker 2: my wife got this amazing, amazing deal. And I'm like,
- 16:25Speaker 2: and you've done the same thing, Mogi and taken Keysey's advice.
- 16:29Speaker 2: Maybe I have reached that age where I now need
- 16:32Speaker 2: to go I'm not good at this. I'm going to
- 16:34Speaker 2: give it to people that are.
- 16:35Speaker 3: Or just learn your phone number and phone typing it.
- 16:39Speaker 5: In roll or something not according to customs.
- 16:41Speaker 2: You don't mean, but having said that, I did secure
- 16:46Speaker 2: an amazing deal after Sydney to Australia and Botswana Airlines.
- 16:54Speaker 2: Your daughter sort of that, No, that was me. This
- 16:57Speaker 2: is yeah, yeah, yeah, they're really good.
- 17:01Speaker 3: How long's the trip?
- 17:03Speaker 2: Like, there's about seven stopovers? Yeah about I think it
- 17:08Speaker 2: was in total about forty two hours.
- 17:11Speaker 1: The Holdak Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kezy tune
- 17:14Speaker 1: in week days at four on Radio Holdarkey