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Leading / Discipling · FROG Discipleship

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning and God bless everyone today.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are going to forever rely on God.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's what frog means.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to go to Proverbs chapter 22, verse 6, and we are going to look at three steps when it comes to leading or discipling our children.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: But even though this is specifically, this verse is specifically talking about children, the three steps are pretty blanket.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that, it can apply to anybody, not just to a parent-child relationship.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It can also go to a husband-wife relationship, even to a manager employee style relationship.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So this passage is going to be familiar for a lot of people.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And here in Proverbs chapter 22, verse 6, it reads this train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to read it again.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: So we're going to break this verse down today, and we're going to break it down into three steps.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now the three steps are modeling, management, management, and memories.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Modeling, management, and memories.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: So when we look at modeling, the very first word in this passage of scripture is train.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Train up a child.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, train literally means to teach, to prepare, to grow a person.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this right here requires effort on the person that is teaching.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So the child in this application right here in this passage of scripture, train up a child.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we see who we are training, a child.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So someone has to train up a child.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: That someone is the parent, the mother or father.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to train is not just verbally say, hey, go do this, go do that.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's telling them what to do.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Training a child is completely different.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: See, everybody needs an example to look up to.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: What did Christ tell his disciples?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did he say, watch me do it?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't just tell them to watch me do it.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, he told them this.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Christ said, follow me.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Follow me.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because Christ was the example that was set before his disciples.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Christ is the example that is set before us, that we need to strive for.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Christ is the example for us to follow, to follow the love of Christ, to follow how Christ serves others, follow the discipline that Christ had.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Follow how Christ viewed people in general.
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  SPEAKER_00: Jesus Christ was the model of how he died for our sins, the life in which he lived, from birth to death, burial, and resurrection, he was the model for us to follow.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, each of us is called to be that model for someone.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: For parents, it is the children.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Train up your children.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Train up your child.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Be that example for them.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it cannot be a relationship, do as I say, not as I do relationship.
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  SPEAKER_00: That is not training.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Training is hands-on.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And think about it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: When we are training or dealing with children, now again, this can be, this can go beyond just a parent-child relationship, beyond a husband-wife relationship.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can apply this into the workplace between a manager and employee.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: To train up a child, to train up a person, it requires effort on the person that is doing the training, getting on their level.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And think about it.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you walk up to a child, you don't talk to a child the same way as you do an adult.
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  SPEAKER_00: You meet them on their level.
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  SPEAKER_00: You talk to them, you model.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Modeling them, training them is demonstrating what the action looks like.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, prime example.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 42 years old, and I just learned how to whistle like super loud, where you put your fingers in your mouth, and you can whistle super, super loud.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've been told, oh, you just put your fingers in your mouth and you blow, and it's just that simple.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my mother-in-law, above all people, we were set, she was sitting on the front porch trying to teach my eight-year-old son how to whistle, and then she was walking me through the steps, and boom, 42 years old, I learned how to whistle super loud.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Never been able to do it before.
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  SPEAKER_00: People have told me, hey, you just do it like this.
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  SPEAKER_00: But no one modeled it for me.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when I saw how she lifted her tongue, put the fingers in her mouth, and how she blew, and she explained it to me.
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  SPEAKER_00: She didn't just tell me what to do, she showed me.
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  SPEAKER_00: Then I was able to whistle.
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  SPEAKER_00: Got it on my first try.
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  SPEAKER_00: I was shocked.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've had countless people try to tell me how to do this, and I've never been able to do it.
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  SPEAKER_00: All right, so here we are, the modeling aspect of training people.
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  SPEAKER_00: We have to demonstrate that.
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  SPEAKER_00: Teach them how to love.
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  SPEAKER_00: I mean, follow the discipline of Christ.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: We can't sit there and just tell our children, hey, I want you to be a Christian.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You need to read your Bible.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why would they read your, why would a child read their Bible if the parent is not reading theirs?
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  SPEAKER_00: If the child is not seeing the parent actively serving the Lord, they're not going to know how to actively serve the Lord when they get older.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: They have to see it.
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  SPEAKER_00: There has to be an example set before them.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Christ is the example for us, parents.
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  SPEAKER_00: You are the example to your children.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we I tell my wife, I said, honey, you are to teach our daughter how to be a Christian woman.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's her role because she is a woman.
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  SPEAKER_00: She needs to teach her what it looks like to be a Christian woman.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, for me as a father, I have to demonstrate to her what a Christian man looks like because I don't want my daughter marrying some scrub that ain't worth his salt and good for nothing person.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to show her not just a good work ethic, but a good Christian man how to be kind, how to be generous, how to be patient, and demonstrate to my daughter the characteristics of what a Christ-driven, Christ-centered man looks like.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing for our son, but reversed.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I got to show my son and model to him what it looks like to be a godly, strong, masculine man.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And my wife has to demonstrate what a godly Christian woman looks like because we, again, we don't want him to be to fall for some scrub that ain't worth her salt.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Modeling that example for your children, for your spouse, for your employee.
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  SPEAKER_00: Train up a child in the way he should go.
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  SPEAKER_00: Teach them.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it requires effort, it requires time, but anything worth doing is worth doing right.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: If we I've I've met so many parents that said, oh, I'll do this and I'll do that.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I would die for my kids.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna use this as an example.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would die for my kids.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is mainly a father that has told me this.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'll die for my kids.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, that's great.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's easy.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And they look at me like, well, what do you mean that's easy?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to die for my kids.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's a one and done.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can jump on a grenade and die for your kids.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's over and done with.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: But to train means consistent.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Would you lose weight for your kids?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Would you exercise for your kids?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Would you get off your iPhone for your kids?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Would you stop doing this and prioritize them?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: See, now it gets a little personal because I'm asking you to sacrifice something selflessly, sacrifice and prioritize your kid.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Training requires sacrifice.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Christ sacrificed himself literally to the point of death for our sins.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's the model, the example in which he set for us to follow.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we go to managing management, the managing of our children, well, what does that look like?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, everybody is different.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Train up a child in the way he should go.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: So train him up in the way he should go.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: So in order to train a person effectively, you need to realize that everybody is different.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have a daughter, is our oldest, and our son is our youngest.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Daughter's seven, 16, no, 17, and my son, our son is eight.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Not only are they different in genders, but there's an age gap.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not going to be able to effectively train and teach my son the same way I trained and taught my daughter.
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  SPEAKER_00: A lot has changed in that time span.
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  SPEAKER_00: I've grown as a person, you know, in my uh ability to manage my daughter, but also I have to recognize their uniqueness.
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  SPEAKER_00: My daughter learns one way, my son learns the other.
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  SPEAKER_00: So good management is the ability to discern the uniqueness of every person, meeting them where they are at.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And again, we see this in scripture.
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  SPEAKER_00: This isn't just something I'm telling you.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: We see this in scripture.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: We see this again modeled to us by Jesus Christ to his disciples.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and again, going back to we don't talk to our children the same way as we do adults.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you walk up to a baby, you just go-goo ga-ga and squeezing cheeks and this, that, and the other.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're not doing that to an adult, or I hope you're not.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: But so we have to be adaptable when we're training a person.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not a one size fits all.
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  SPEAKER_00: No, everybody is different, everybody learns different, and we have to meet them where we are.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we see this in John chapter 21, verses 15 through 17.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it reads, So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me more than these?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: He said to him, Feed my lambs.
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  SPEAKER_00: He said to him a second time, Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?
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  SPEAKER_00: He said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: He said to him, Tend my sheep.
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  SPEAKER_00: He said to him a third time, Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Peter was grieved because he had asked him a third time, Do you love me?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he said to him, Lord, you know all things, even you know that I love you.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said, Feed my sheep.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Most assuredly I say to you, Well, we'll just stop right there.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I want us to focus, Christ asked Peter three different times, do you love me?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: But when we look at the the word love, the first two times Christ asks, Do you love me?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's agape.
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  SPEAKER_00: Christ is asking Peter, do you love me unconditional?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Peter responds all three times, yes, Lord, I love you.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Philios, friendship.
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  SPEAKER_00: Christ is saying, Peter, do you love me unconditionally?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And Peter is saying, Lord, I love you as much as I can, which is a friendship style love.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: So Christ asks him again, do you love me unconditional?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Agape.
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  SPEAKER_00: Peter responds, I love you, Philios.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: So friendship.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then the third time and final time that Christ asks Simon, do you love me?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Simon Peter, do you love me?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's no longer agape.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's filios love.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: That friendship style love.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And here Peter is saying, Lord, I love you as a friend.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: So Christ met him where he was at.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And see, management, when we're managing our children or managing people as a whole, oftentimes we expect them to be at a certain place, be where we want them to be, be where we're at.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, respect the process.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is a process.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: If everybody learns differently because we are different and we learn at different rates, we all have different interests.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Why would we expect everybody to be where we expect them to be?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, disappointment is failed expectation.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And see, we see this, I see this all the time, to where parents are disappointed with their children.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, two things.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you're disappointed in your child, A, it's a failed expectation, but also, did you train that child in that area?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my daughter plays club volleyball, and I see parents all the time from all over the country yelling and griping and bickering about their kids and why didn't you do this?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you do that?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, think about what that parent is modeling to that kid.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're basically telling them, you're not good enough.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: We all fail.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: We all fall short of the glory of God.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's none righteous, no, not one.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to look at, because a lot of times when I see these parents griping at these kids, they haven't missed a meal and they haven't been, they haven't ever had a gym day either, if you if you're picking up what I'm putting down.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you're clearly not training your child in the way of athletics, but you are teaching them to do as I say, not as I do.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And and that that type of training, that type of management is faulty.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Christ met us where we are, you know, with the example of Simon Peter.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do you love me unconditionally?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I love you as a friend, Lord.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you love me unconditionally?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love you as a friend, Lord.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you love me as a friend?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, Lord, I love you as a friend.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: When we are willing to meet our children where they are, not where we expect them or want them to be, but meet them there, then we can start growing our children in a big way, in a mighty way.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then the last thing is making memories.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Memories, when we look at this passage of scripture, it's a very important part of scripture.
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  SPEAKER_00: It says, and train up a child in a way you should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So when we look at that, when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: We see the child growing into adulthood and reflecting back on the things that took place in childhood.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So making memories.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: When he was old, he will not depart from it.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the way you are training, the way you are modeling, the way you are managing, when they grow up into adulthood, they are going to reflect back those times of going to church and praying together and you know the celebrations and the and the sadnesses of loss and all those different things.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: They're going to reflect back on those memories to guide them in their adulthood on how to navigate.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: See, I had an older brother growing up, and through when I reflect on my older brother and go back to those memories, I learned what not to do.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: He went through the road of hard hard knocks.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, so did I, but not through the same level.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to look back and look at him and learn what not to do.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when we go back in our memories, they are either going to look look back and learn what not to do or learn what to do.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Think of it as a photograph.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever a photograph is taken, that moment in time is captured and it becomes a memory.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then when they look at that picture years later, that memory is either a good memory or a bad memory.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: When we are training up a child in the ways of the Lord, so when they grow old, they will not depart from it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or when they get old, we need these kids to reflect back on what took place in their youth, that we adequately prepared them, we adequately discipled them, we adequately molded them, we adequately managed them.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So therefore they are prepared for adulthood that they can now reflect back and refer back to what took place in their life to help them achieve greatness in theirs.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Making memories is and understand, every moment that we live is a memory.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Every interaction with people is a memory.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: But is that interaction, is that moment, a good memory or a bad memory?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: We want, as parents, as leaders, as mentors, to create memories that will help people grow in the future.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: That is our goal.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: When we are training up our child in the way of the Lord, in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is power in consistency.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency compounds over time.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: If we are taking our kids to church, well, guess what?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Then there's a likelihood that when they grow old, they'll take their kids to church.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: If we're teaching our kids how to pray and praying with our kids, there's a high likelihood that when they get old, they'll be praying.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: They'll teach their kids how to pray.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Setting and having a meal together as a family, when they get older, there's a high likelihood that that's what they're going to do.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see what I'm talking about?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's three steps when it comes to leading and discipling your children, your family, your employees.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can apply this anywhere.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: You got to model it, be that example.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have to manage it, meet them on their level, not where you want them to be, and along this way, make memories with them so they can reflect back.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when I was growing up, we had a bracelet that was given out in school.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was WWJD.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: What would Jesus do?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that bracelet allowed me to reflect back to what I knew of scripture.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what would Jesus do?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what would mom and dad do in this?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what was I taught to do?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: These things matter.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I love this passage of scripture.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Train, teach, model, be that example.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, train up a child in the way he should go, manage them, meet them where they're at, and create memory so when they are old, when they are older growing up, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Give them something positive.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Be that godly example that they can reflect back to and and refer back to as they grow in their faith.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is Nick with Frog Discipleship.