Latest / Rich Fulcher's TalkBox / Alfie Dundas: Viral Crowdwork Clips, Edinburgh Fringe Debut & Acting Ambitions | TalkBox Ep.53

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Alfie Dundas: Viral Crowdwork Clips, Edinburgh Fringe Debut & Acting Ambitions | TalkBox Ep.53 · Rich Fulcher's TalkBox

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Hey, this is rich fulture of the infamous Rich Fultures talk box.
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And you listeners out there, please, if you could, I'm just
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asking you nicely follow or leave a review because that way
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we become as big as mashed potatoes.
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So listen, my first guest or my guest is Alfie Dundas.
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He's a great comic. He's got a show coming up in
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Edinburgh and he's a bit on the posh side, but you're going to
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really like it, OK? I really liked your mouth.
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Yeah, I hit an old lady in. The Oh my God, Rich.
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Alfie. What are you doing good to?
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See you. You got anywhere to be or do you
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want to have a little? Catch up.
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I would love to have a catch. Up, take a seat.
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It's just us here. Oh my God.
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And there's coffee here. There is with your face on it.
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You hit my mind. I.
1:13
Had a feeling. Thank you, Alfie.
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Good to see you. How are you?
1:18
Yeah, good, good. Good.
1:21
Where did you come from? Did you have to travel far?
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I no, I came from Highbury, I came from North London.
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You mean right now or like was or was that more like how, how
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did we get here situation? Yeah, how did we get here?
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I was like, I can start at the beginning.
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You mean this morning? Oh yeah.
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This morning, yeah, this morning I got on the, I got on the tube
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and I and I got here too early, as you know.
1:49
Yeah. That's better to be early.
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Yeah, I'm always super early and I'm telling my kids to be early,
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but it's like they're fighting it and it drives me crazy.
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Sure, I I have AI have to leave. Like if I know it's going to
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take half an hour, I leave on the minute.
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Half an hour, yes. Like I'm always on time.
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I'm never going to be late. I'm rarely early.
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Unless I I get it wrong like I got it wrong.
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What about for a gig? You want to go early for a gig?
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Yeah, well, for a gig, I want to watch everyone else.
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Yeah. I I I don't understand feel of
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it. You hear people do like 11 gigs
2:27
a night, you know, like in the in the USI think it's more
2:30
common. And I'm just like, well, how do
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you know what's going on in any of the?
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Yeah. How do you know that there's a
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defence contractor in the front row?
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Exactly. Exactly.
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And there always is. Yeah, for a Baker in the 5th
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row. Yeah, and again, always, there's
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always. It's a weird crowd when you've
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got the defence contractor and the Baker.
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It's hard to know how to pay them off each other, but.
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I was watching one of your clips and thank you.
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You actually had a guy having an affair in the audience.
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Yeah, yeah. That was that was in Bristol,
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Yeah. Were they going to a Coldplay
3:07
concert? He was he.
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Yeah, it was. That was a crowd work show that
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I was running on Valentine's Day, which was like a dating
3:18
show. So.
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It it wasn't a normal show where because I got a lot of backlash
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for that, like picking on this guy in the front row, but the
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the show was sold as a crowd work, come and talk, bring the.
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Worst backslash like they have affairs too and.
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This is really, yeah, I did. I had an argument.
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I had an argument with some members of my family when that
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whole Coldplay thing happened where they were like why can't
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people cheat in private? Anymore I.
3:43
Know and I was like you're married to my sister that
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shouldn't be your line of reasoning.
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It's a crazy thing to bring up on a family use.
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That. I should use that in my but no
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the the guy that cheated in my show was he was sat on the front
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row right in the middle. Really like good looking couple
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in their 30s. Beginning of the show I was
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like, let's warm, let's get into this.
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We have two hours of going through people's like dating
4:07
horror stories. And I was like, oh, so I think I
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said to him, are you 2 together? No, I said to her, are you
4:16
married? And she said he is and that's
4:19
part. And in my head I went, this is a
4:21
Bing Bing. Bing.
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I went this is going to sell out.
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This is the problem. Now when I gig, if something
4:26
good happens I get distracted because I go I can see the edit
4:29
happening. But they didn't seem to be
4:31
hiding. It no, she said he's married and
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I went OK, gold, this is gold. And I said, and he was married,
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separated, but not officially divorced.
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It's so different than the Coldplay.
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And yeah. What the Coldplay was like.
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No, what they, they, I was, they kept, they just got closer.
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Yeah. It was like he was like, yeah,
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I'm still married. And then.
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I hope this goes viral. It was as if he went, I'm still
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married, so you know I'm good at commitment, right?
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Kind of wink to her. 'Cause otherwise she would have
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gone. Why did you run out of the club?
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Why did? You run out of the club, he
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said. He was married and then we found
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out he was. He had kids, still married,
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young kids. They've just started dating a
5:14
couple of weeks ago. The kids.
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No, the man and the woman, well, but the kids relationship
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status, I didn't, I thought that was private.
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It wasn't the time, but and then I found out and I was like, what
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do you do? And he was retired and he's 40,
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which means either he's he's got to be rich, but he's either got
5:32
to be, in my experience, an athlete or a banker.
5:35
Or an injury? A work related engine.
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You you mean like a claimant? Yes, he's a claimant.
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That's a good point. I hadn't thought that's good,
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you guys. That's good because next time I
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always go you're a banker or an athlete.
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But now I'll go You're a banker an.
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Athlete, I'm always thinking scams or were you?
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In a skiing accident, were you hit by ATFL bus recently and now
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you're just coasting? No, he was, he was a banker.
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So not only was he a, was he a philanderer, which I can look
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past, he was also a, you know, a financier.
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So when you do crowd work, yeah. Do you?
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I mean, you've done a lot of it, haven't you?
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Yeah, I think online it looks, it looks like more.
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I think it's just that's what you can post with.
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Online, you're Mr. Crowd work online.
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I'm Mr Crowd Work. Yeah, I'll take that.
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I think it's just I can't post my material online.
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Yeah, because what do you think of that because.
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Because I don't want to burn it. Yeah, I, I, I, I post, I I've
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only been doing comedy for four years.
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What, like I did my, like, open mic for years.
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I just post everything I've done.
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You seem very slick. For four years, you're like.
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That's because that's. Stamping on your fingers?
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I am, yes. You're like a beatnik.
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I do a lot of that on stage. People are like, there's no
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jokes here. I go well if you read between
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the lines, but I do I I just, I started posting when I was like
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2 years in and I started filming all my gigs and I would, I knew
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the jokes were not, I knew that they were good, but they were
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not like great and I didn't want to hang on to them for six.
7:16
Years right? So just post.
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Them so I post it and that forces me to write a new set.
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So I I'm writing my first hour now, which I had which is all
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new. So that's the only thing people
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haven't seen is what I'm currently doing.
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Your hour is pure. My hour is pure.
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It's snaps and crowd work. That's what we're calling the
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show. Yeah, it's snappy crowd.
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Work snappy. Crowd work.
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No, like I'm now writing an hour.
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I'm in the middle of a writing an hour of all new material.
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But every year. The last three years I've
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written 20 and being like this isn't that great, but it's good
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enough to put online. So I film it and I clip it and
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then anything happens. With crowd work, you can clip it
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because it's never going to happen again.
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It's just so funny how it's it's changed, I mean, especially
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since COVID. But it used to be there were
8:06
certain comics that were really good at crowd work.
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Now it's like the muscle you need.
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I mean, you know, like really did crowd work, like just sort
8:18
of said, I mean, some people would just plough through their
8:21
act. But now everybody is trying to
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film. Not everybody's good at it.
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No, I think that's the, I think the misconception with crowd
8:31
work and with podcasting is that it's like easier just because
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you're seeing more of it, but it's not easy to do well.
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It's like there's a lot of people putting crowd work clips
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and a lot of people putting out podcast.
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But they're not. They're not all good.
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Like, you know, I'm not, I'm not saying, I mean, we'll find out,
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but but there's everybody's like, oh, not another podcast.
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You go, yeah, but if you listen to most podcasts, there's a
8:57
reason why some people are killing it.
9:00
And you. Know and most of them don't last
9:02
either. Most of them don't last.
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And with crowd work, I think, I don't know.
9:08
I think it people look down on it.
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When people started, first started posting because I only
9:12
started a couple years ago. I when I started comedy,
9:15
everybody was posting clips like I like, I imagine when you talk
9:19
to most comedians, they had to change.
9:21
You know, they were going for a bit of time and then the, and
9:23
then social media took over. It's like I started comedy after
9:27
COVID. Comedy in when I started was
9:31
just clips. Yeah, yeah.
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There was no live performance. It's all about the clips.
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Yeah, Clip, clip, clip. But how I'm I'm surprised you
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have a podcast. Oh.
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Are you? Why?
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Because you're like a like a bastion of like.
9:49
Bastard. Real comedy?
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Yeah. Am I pronouncing that right?
9:52
No, no, I mean why not? Why not me?
9:56
No, I'm all for why. Oh, I'm all for it.
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I would be if we met and the cameras went on.
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I would be like, you should be posting some content.
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OK, let's get you online. Oh, thanks.
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But I'm surprised that you decided to to do.
10:12
Well, basically about a year ago.
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By the way, I'm growing this for a role.
10:20
You look quite like Nick. Do you know Nick Offerman?
10:22
Is it Nick Offerman from Parks Around?
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Yeah. Yeah, you've got that kind.
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Of oh, thank you. But a more friendly, like a
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friendlier version of her. A friendly Nick OK, well I got
10:35
up. It was like a year ago and I was
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like, what am I going to do for the new year?
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Because, you know, you don't always get roles coming in.
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Even auditions like don't always come.
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So I felt like instead of waiting for things, I'm going to
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start doing something. So it just takes my mind off the
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other stuff. The gap.
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The gap, Yeah, There's always a gap.
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The abyss, right, Kenny? Yeah, yeah.
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No, I, I think it's like, I think I'm just surprised because
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like that. I do it well.
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I I just like, I don't see many. I like, I imagine when you was
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most of the work that you've done is in TV.
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Yeah. And it must be.
11:18
I don't know what's it like now that that seems to not exist
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because I started my career in the first meeting I had.
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They were like, by the way, you're never going to be in TV.
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You have to adapt or die, yeah. And that's what you're doing.
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Here I'm not dying yet. Yeah, no, hopefully not.
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But I think 1 feeds the other, like when you become active in
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something else, other things happen.
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It's just sort of a collective thing.
11:43
Sure. So you found it easy to take
11:45
those skills that you acquired and apply them?
11:50
Yeah, I like to, I like just talking to people and hopefully
11:55
that, you know, transcends on the the pod.
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I wanted to ask you, it does it's it's it's very good.
12:03
But I've I, it's just interesting to me because I, I.
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Do you have a podcast? Yes, I do.
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Do you want to plug it? I do.
12:10
It's the Alf and SOF show. It's me and another comedian
12:13
called Sophie Garrett. I don't know if you've come.
12:14
Across OK, I've heard the name. But you're more than welcome on
12:17
our pod anytime, Rich. I hope that's.
12:19
Oh, thank you. Yeah.
12:20
That's an official offer. OK.
12:22
It's filmed in my flat on my sofa.
12:24
Oh see. But it's legit.
12:25
It's not like a, it's. Not do you have guests.
12:28
We haven't, but we're going to start having guests.
12:29
We, we. This for us is a new year thing,
12:31
this. Year you have to clean the sofa.
12:33
We've got to clean the sofa. Yeah, but again, it was just
12:37
like AI, I was posting stand up clips, but then I was like, I
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want more content and I like podcasting.
12:44
Like I think it's fun and I think like it's good.
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I don't see it as like a chore. So we set that up and we're
12:51
just, you know, we're then we're all, we're adapting.
12:53
Rich yes, adapt. Hello guys.
12:58
If you enjoy the episode, please consider becoming a Patreon
13:02
member. You'll be in the credits at the
13:05
end of the episode and you'll get the episodes much earlier
13:09
than all of the other minions out there.
13:15
It's just a little thing we do. So let's get back to the
13:19
episode, but think about it. OK, bye.
13:22
So you're doing the Fringe and you had to get an hour together.
13:27
How difficult is doing this hour because it's your first?
13:31
Yeah, it's my first hour. You know it's an hour.
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Yeah, it's going to be an hour and in Edinburgh you can't do
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crowd work. You can't.
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You're not allowed to do more than 10 minutes because you have
13:43
the rule. Yeah, in Edinburgh, hour for it
13:45
to qualify for the awards and the reviews.
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And that's all I do comedy for, which is the awards and the
13:50
reviews is has to be 50 minutes of material.
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So you can do 5 to 10 minutes of crowd work.
13:55
But it, you know, and you're only allowed to do 20 minutes of
13:59
like clicking and snapping. So for me, that's at least.
14:02
Where you're from. Yeah, into the mic.
14:05
As well. I found it.
14:08
I've really enjoyed it. I've seen it as just a net, as
14:11
like a, you know, I started doing the open mics and then it
14:14
was like, let's get one really good joke.
14:16
And then it was 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes.
14:20
OK, so now you can do the clubs. So it got easier.
14:23
And now going from 20 minutes, I've sort of felt relatively
14:27
comfortable writing a 10 minute set or a 20 minute set.
14:30
And then since January, it's been like, well, how do you
14:33
maintain attention for an hour? Yeah, and I've enjoyed it, but
14:39
it's not, it's not I'm find it easy.
14:41
Yeah, I've said this on the podcast about four times.
14:46
I find myself repeating myself. But when I do an hour show, I
14:52
always find myself at 40 minutes looking at the clock.
14:57
Yeah, I don't know why I. Didn't think show should be an
15:00
hour. They didn't used to be.
15:02
They should be on that a cool 40.
15:05
What did they used? To be 4040 for an hour.
15:07
I think that's perfect sitcom. I think it was like the mid 90s
15:11
or something. It's I'd be interested to find
15:14
out Tom about. There's another person in here.
15:17
Is this like a? Is this like a Rogan situation
15:20
where you can pull something up? I wish.
15:22
No, we do it all post so we'll pull it out.
15:25
OK, cool. OK, but I, I, somebody was
15:29
telling me about this, that in the Fringe, it used to be 1/2
15:34
hour show and then somebody did an hour show and that was a game
15:38
changer. They fucked it up for everyone.
15:40
They fucked. It up.
15:40
It's like money going into football and now everyone has to
15:43
be 100 mile. It's a problem.
15:46
But my bugaboo about the friend, sure sure sure.
15:50
Show my soapbox. Then we'll get back to your
15:52
show. Because when they have like, say
15:54
a big comic comes into Edinburgh and does a big venue for like 5
16:01
days, like the Queen's Hall, it takes away from comics like you
16:08
that want to get noticed and stuff and people are going to
16:11
go. I mean, I just, yeah.
16:13
They they argue the big comics argue that it's like a trickle
16:19
down effect because they pull people into the.
16:21
City Trump. Yeah, I don't know.
16:25
I think it's a very convenient line for them.
16:27
Yeah, yeah, that. It's like, yeah, I got 5000
16:29
people coming to my show, but ten of them will go to, you
16:33
know, a tiny show. But I also can't really complain
16:35
because I'm going up and I'm in like a, you know, I've got
16:37
social media and. Yeah, and it is a huge Comedy
16:42
Festival. It's like a Comedy Festival do.
16:44
You still go? Will you be going up?
16:46
Maybe the? This year.
16:48
No, I'm not going up to do a show or anything I want to do
16:52
maybe next year were. You going to come up this year
16:54
just to see? Maybe, I don't know.
16:56
OK, depends on how well your show.
16:59
Yeah, you're acting cagey, like you've got a big surprise.
17:01
Is this like an exclusive? People.
17:04
A reunion come. Up.
17:06
Do you still get like, do you get recognised on the street?
17:10
Yeah, a lot of playgrounds. No, it depends on where I am.
17:17
Like in Brighton, I'll get recognised a little bit.
17:20
Because. I I think because there's the
17:23
type of crowd that watches the Bush and stuff.
17:26
Yes, that's what you're that's your because that I've listened
17:30
to a couple episodes of this and everyone comes on and tells you
17:32
that the Mighty Boosh was like a big part of that childhood.
17:35
And I thought maybe I should say that, but I.
17:37
Records. No, Rich, you know me.
17:40
I can't. No, I know of the Mighty Boosh.
17:42
But my like, when I was catching up on you and your accolades, my
17:48
big thing was like, you're Mr Flippy nerves.
17:51
Yes. You're in Rick and Morty.
17:54
That's the. Coolest.
17:55
I mean, that was what I mean. How did that happen?
17:57
What was? That I know the people that were
17:59
doing it and they asked me to do it.
18:02
It was just they're all these animators that sort of hang out
18:05
together. It's so cool.
18:07
I such AI. That's my that was my Mighty
18:10
Boosh. That's your wheelhouse.
18:11
In terms of like trippy shows for sad boys.
18:14
And no, it's like the Great Mighty Boosh was like a trippy
18:19
show for sad boys in that 30s and 40s and like, but Rick and
18:23
Morty was my version of trippy show for a sad boy.
18:26
Like I like, I loved it. Yeah, I was like, it's funny and
18:28
it's existential. And the new episodes are coming
18:32
out soon. I'm.
18:32
Very excited, are you in there? No, I'm in, Yeah.
18:35
Are you? Yeah.
18:36
Is that an exclusive or can we? Exclusive, everybody.
18:40
Clip that up. That's what you have to say
18:42
whenever. You want to flip the shit out of
18:43
that clip? The shit out of that, yeah.
18:46
Are you playing as is it? Not flipping apps, no.
18:48
No, what? What?
18:49
He's not. There's no.
18:51
Because that was about Pluto, right?
18:52
Yeah, you went. Pluto's a fucking planet, bitch.
18:55
Yeah, yeah, I'm not joking like I.
18:58
That's the coolest. Thing I was so excited to come
19:01
here today because I was like, I'm going to talk to Mr Flippy
19:03
Nibs. I.
19:05
Said that to my parents yesterday and they were like
19:06
you, you need a real job and I was to Mr Flippy nibs and they
19:10
were like is it a big part? And I was like not a not AI
19:13
mean, not a huge part, but a but a very important.
19:16
Part Are you on hallucinogens? And they were like, what do you?
19:19
I was like Mr Flippy Lips. Mr Flippy.
19:22
Lips. And then I was in mighty Bush
19:23
and they're like, that's cool. I was like, oh, you don't
19:25
understand my generation. Yeah, I'll get some older people
19:29
too that go. I saw you when I was in my 30s.
19:34
I also saw you in the funniest thing I've seen you do and I
19:40
don't know why this feels like I meant to be a gay but you are
19:42
but. That's what people wind up
19:44
doing. Yeah.
19:45
I don't know why. Because you keep inviting people
19:47
that have less of a career than you do.
19:49
So well, you want to talk about my Edinburgh friends?
19:52
Dave? Yes.
19:53
You missed the flippy names. What are you?
19:54
What are you doing? All right, I'll talk about
19:56
Flippy. Names.
19:58
Can we talk about you interviewing Will Arnett as a
20:02
yeah, as a CGI? Mutant Ninja Turtle?
20:05
Yes, I want to know. Now.
20:07
Who signed off on that? They approached me, I think it
20:10
was called Regal. Regal Cinemas approached you?
20:13
Yeah. They approached me and they
20:14
said, will you do this? Will you go up?
20:18
Because, you know these press junkets people do for films?
20:22
Yes. So Will Arnett was in Teenage
20:26
Ninja Turtle, wasn't it? Was that the movie?
20:30
Yeah, so. By the way, it was you that
20:32
promoted it, not me. Yeah.
20:34
So you go to this hotel like Four Seasons and you know,
20:39
upstairs all the press are gathered and then they go into
20:45
the, it's like Mr Arnett will see you now.
20:47
So you go from room to room to room because they'll have the
20:50
director maybe in one room and Will Arnett.
20:53
So they go, why don't you go upstairs to these press?
20:56
We'll get you press credentials, right?
20:59
And here's your CGI suit, right? Oh, totally green.
21:04
You know, because that's how they do it on the green screen.
21:06
And this is the regal head of marketing, Yes, who?
21:11
I knew. Were you were not in the film.
21:15
No, I wasn't in the film. They just wanted to promote it
21:18
through, you know, crazy interview.
21:20
So I went to the toilet, changed my outfit, and then I came out
21:25
and everyone's looking at me like what the fuck?
21:28
And then Will started laughing when I walked in.
21:33
Yeah. If you haven't, I mean, put that
21:34
in in post. It's so funny.
21:36
You go in and you just start asking.
21:37
You're dressed with all the green like bubbles and then you
21:41
go up the will you go will on that and you go.
21:44
How does CGI work? Yeah.
21:47
Can we and you just keep like every 30 seconds you go, can we
21:50
add that in post? And Will's just, and then you
21:53
and then you do fake numb chucks.
21:55
Yeah. Yeah.
21:55
And then you ask him to do fake numb chucks.
21:57
And then when he does it, you tell him he's done it wrong.
21:59
Yeah. Yeah, but the thing about it is
22:02
I think it was refreshing for him because he gets the same
22:05
questions, the same. Should I tell you?
22:07
What he reminded me of you've seen Notting Hill, Yes, Hugh
22:11
Grant and. Julia Roberts.
22:14
Yes, yeah. The scene where he has to go
22:17
interview her because they've mistaken him for press.
22:20
He goes to the hotel room. She's doing press in the hotel
22:23
room, and then she And then he pretends to be from Horse and
22:25
hound. Yeah, the film's set in space.
22:28
And he goes. Did you think about using more
22:30
horses in this film? Yeah, yeah.
22:32
It was like he was trapped there.
22:33
I thought that was like a fake thing that didn't really happen.
22:36
But you're telling me that every time there's a movie coming out,
22:39
there's a hotel room full of, yes, Country Life?
22:41
That's the way it works. And sand horses.
22:44
And so Will Arnett would have been interviewed by GQ.
22:47
Yeah, yeah. Vogue and then you for Regal
22:50
Cinemas US Distribution Limited. Great.
22:55
Yeah, so that's the way it works.
22:57
It's a real. And then I had to do it again.
23:00
This one wasn't as good with Steve Carell because he was
23:03
immediately suspect about. I saw that, yeah, it wasn't as
23:06
good, but it but it but it was. Thank you.
23:10
He didn't lose it as much. That's not on you.
23:12
That was on him. That's Steve.
23:14
Steve couldn't hack it. As well as he wasn't playing the
23:16
game. That's so good, yeah, but.
23:20
So that's what I'm a big fan of. I'm a big fan of your work as
23:23
flipping nips and it's the the interview for Regal.
23:26
OK, that's you know that clip super viral on YouTube.
23:30
I don't. Know if you know the.
23:31
Regal one, yeah. OK, we'll put that up, Kenny.
23:34
I think you could bring that back.
23:36
I feel like press, these press junkies for Movies Now are
23:39
getting so yeah, tired. I mean, they're really.
23:42
When you do a film, you're going to be experiencing I'm.
23:45
Trying to do a film but it's hard.
23:47
If you did a film, what would it be about?
23:49
Like if somebody said right now I've got a couple million to
23:54
give you, what's your film? I say that's not enough for me,
23:58
but but if I got a free weekend I want I'm.
24:03
What I find is that every now and again a film will come out
24:06
and I'll be like, I should have been in that, even though I
24:08
didn't audition and they didn't ask what's the.
24:10
Film that you feel like you could slip into the role very.
24:13
The one I really was annoyed about was challenges.
24:16
You saw the the like very sexual film about tennis.
24:19
Oh, do you play tennis? No, but I'm very sexual rich.
24:22
No, no, I do. I play tennis.
24:25
I play a lot of tennis. Clip.
24:27
That's a clip. Chuck that in a clip.
24:29
That's the clip. Add it in post.
24:30
I am. You know, can I say this?
24:33
You look a little bit like Sinner.
24:36
Rich, I'm glad you pointed that out.
24:37
That's great. I do look like Sinner.
24:40
I'm exactly Sinner's height and to the to the centimetre 6 foot
24:46
3 1/2, one, nine and three. OK.
24:49
I look like Sinner. I grew up playing a lot of
24:52
tennis. You like the movie, Sinners?
24:54
I like the movie Sinners. I like Yannick's.
24:57
Is Yannick Sinner's got a Gucci partnership and that's fine with
25:00
me. To be honest.
25:02
And I saw that Challenges was coming out and Josh O'Connor is
25:06
great. And then there's this blonde
25:08
guy, Mike Feist, I think he was called.
25:11
I don't know. You didn't see it?
25:12
It was. I did you see the film?
25:13
I just don't memorise it. The.
25:14
Louvre Guadnino 1. But you know what I'm talking
25:16
about. Yeah.
25:17
Yeah. He's the one that's like all
25:17
simpy for Zendaya. Yeah.
25:19
Yeah. And he plays tennis.
25:20
And I was like, I could do that. I could do that right now.
25:22
No, Like, no. You.
25:23
Could be the simpy tennis. Player I could simp for a woman
25:26
and then play tennis. Yeah, well.
25:27
When I was watching it I was wondering how good are these
25:30
guys actually? Awful.
25:32
All you got to do to make a good swing is you can fake that.
25:38
I was disappointed watching it because the tennis looks so
25:40
unrealistic. Because I'm pretty good.
25:42
I could do a tennis, I could play a coach, yeah.
25:46
We should play. We should.
25:47
We should play yeah and televise it.
25:50
That's a new. Podcast we should do a joint
25:53
tennis. Yes.
25:54
Pod with two other doubles. Doubles.
25:58
We call it doubles. Nice.
26:01
Doubles with Alf and Rich. Rich and Alf.
26:02
We can debate that often. It's like, you know, they have
26:05
Kevin Nealon has a podcast where he's hiking and he has some I I
26:10
wouldn't like that because it's like.
26:13
It's exhausting. Also, you're sweating like I've
26:15
been asked to do a I've been asked to a podcast, not to bring
26:18
up a rival, but I've been asked to do a podcast which is in a
26:22
like in a sauna and then a sauna and a cold plant, like an
26:26
interview during sauna and cold plunge.
26:29
OK. And I'm like, I'm going to die.
26:33
You better not have a lavalier mic on.
26:36
No, we're taking these in. No.
26:38
They're just going to sweat into them.
26:40
And also I'm like, I think part of it's in a steam room.
26:43
You're not going to see anything.
26:45
It's going on YouTube. It's a well known podcast.
26:48
No, it's just a guy on the back of a van.
26:49
But he offered me 5 lbs so I'm in.
26:52
I might do that. One, no challenges would have
26:54
been my number one. And if they're going to make, if
26:56
Luca Guadnino, he's going to make like a sexy, homoerotic
27:01
football film. OK, I'm ready.
27:03
Because what I'm annoyed by is when they show football and
27:07
tennis in films like or in Ted Lasso.
27:10
Yeah, it's unrealistic. And I'm like, just hire an actor
27:14
that can play football. There's enough of them.
27:16
There are, yeah. But a lot of times, like I would
27:21
sign up for commercial casting and they ask you what you can
27:26
do. Like, oh, I do fencing, scuba
27:30
diving. You just lie about everything.
27:32
Yeah. The big two that you focused on?
27:34
Yeah, and then when it comes time to cast somebody and they
27:38
like you, you just pretend you can do it and then it looks crap
27:44
on the. Right.
27:46
I I don't know what the protocol is with this, but my spotlight
27:50
acting page says I can do everything.
27:53
Not just so you'd like, just if there's any casting directors
27:55
watching this going like. Table tennis.
27:58
I got an audition for a film, a Netflix film, and I had to.
28:02
I played a horse trainer like a jockey.
28:04
Trainer. That's cool.
28:05
And all I had to do was ride a horse.
28:07
And I've never, I'm allergic to horses.
28:09
I've never been on a horse. But you, you, your stand up, you
28:14
kind of have a posh sort of. That's not just the stand up
28:17
rich character. It's not a character.
28:20
Yeah, I'm the worst posh person. I can't.
28:22
I can't shoot, I can't ski, I can't ride a horse.
28:26
You've never been on a fox hunt. I'm not, no.
28:29
My family used to have a fox hunt.
28:30
My granddad used to run a fox hunt and he played in Wimbledon
28:34
as well. I've only recently.
28:35
Discovered all this, played in Wimbledon.
28:37
Yeah, my my dad's side of the family is very posh and titled
28:41
like British. Would we know this guy?
28:44
You mentioned him. No, but his title was the
28:47
Marquess of Zetland, which is the like a Duke or like a count
28:51
right of Zetland, which is the archaic word for Shetland.
28:55
So the Shetland Isles, they used to own the Shetland.
28:58
OK wow, did you know Trump's mom was born in Stornoway?
29:05
I did know that. Yeah.
29:07
Yeah. But but it's still interesting.
29:09
Yeah. You look so deflated when I said
29:13
I was aware of that. Yes, but no.
29:14
But it's I. It's a good point.
29:16
So you haven't even written. You haven't even ridden A
29:19
Shetland pony. I've not ridden A Shetland pony,
29:22
although I technically own all of them.
29:24
You know the Queen owns all the Swans.
29:25
Yeah, all Shetland ponies. So how did you what did you do
29:28
for this film? Then did you get the film I.
29:31
Didn't get the role but I told them I can't wait get me on a
29:34
horse and my plan was if I'm if I get the role, I was like I can
29:39
learn to ride a horse in three weeks.
29:40
There was a famous movie where a guy was hired and he couldn't
29:43
ride the horse. Was it that movie that, you
29:46
know, Terry Gilliam had this movie about the man from La
29:50
Mancha and I think the guy couldn't ride a horse.
29:55
Like it was just like everything that could go wrong with this
29:58
film went wrong. What do you do in that?
30:01
Like if you if you're on set day one big budget and you just fall
30:06
off the horse. I mean CGI Tom Selleck.
30:10
Tom Selleck. In the Sackets.
30:13
Oh, I don't know what you're talking about, Kenny.
30:16
This is all strange. Is that what we just give them?
30:18
Coconuts? Yeah, yeah.
30:22
I like the idea that like, if I can't ride a horse, they're
30:24
gonna have to hire two guys dressed as a horse on CGI.
30:28
They can CGI anything these days.
30:31
Yeah. Yeah.
30:32
So any other films that you could slip into like a comedy
30:36
like? Honestly, I I thought that when
30:38
I when I started doing gigs and things started to go well, I was
30:43
like, I'm the new Hugh Grant. That's it.
30:45
Well, listen, bide your time. Just keep going.
30:49
Part 2. You gotta do the fringe first.
30:52
I gotta do the Fringe and then yeah, I would love yeah.
30:57
The only auditions I get are really are like period dramas
30:59
and like obviously getting type type.
31:01
Casters of good. Yeah, but I'd love to do
31:03
something much more soppy. Well, what you do is you get do
31:08
a scene with someone and you show it as a clip.
31:13
Yeah. So that people see that, clip it
31:15
up. Yeah, you clip it up.
31:17
See, I got it. I got it.
31:18
I got. It.
31:19
I like that a lot. But what happens in LA is a lot
31:23
of people do stand up, right? But half of them are like
31:27
regular comics that could go out on the road, but the other half
31:31
they're just doing it as a stepping stone.
31:34
To get to. Act Yeah to get into acting.
31:37
I went to You're from LA, right? No, I lived there.
31:40
No one's from LA. No one's from LA, Yeah.
31:42
I think it's a rule you can't be from.
31:45
It's a weird place I went last year.
31:47
I quit my job last year to pursue comedy full time and.
31:51
Wow, Congrats. Thank you very much and I wanted
31:55
to take some time off but I didn't want to relax that much
31:58
so I went to New York and LA for like 3 weeks each.
32:03
Smart I. Just went round the comedy scene
32:05
and I got to go on the set of a like an Apple TV show like up in
32:11
what's it like Paramount and CBS, all those studios.
32:15
No. It was mythic quest.
32:18
Oh, I love that show. Humphrey Carl's show, yeah, he's
32:21
from the UK and he very kindly, like took me on the set and I
32:25
was like, this is crap. Like this is because you think
32:28
in London and in the UK, it's like we've got this thriving
32:31
comedy scene and then you go to LA and it's like.
32:33
It's a lot, isn't? It it's insane.
32:35
And everybody in Lai mean, I was in Hollywood and, and everybody
32:39
is an there's no one, there's no normal people.
32:43
It's all about like being in Las Vegas.
32:46
You've got a gamble. But I don't understand how you
32:48
know right now the Netflix festival is taking place.
32:51
Yes, I should be there. Yeah, I know I should be.
32:54
There, we're filming this from Netflix.
32:56
It's a joke. Yeah, but who's watching the
32:59
shows? I just saw a line up last night
33:01
that was like. What the Netflix shows.
33:04
Yeah, like, like Seinfeld's doing a show, Dave Chappelle's
33:06
doing a show, Shankill is doing, everyone's doing a show.
33:10
Who's who's going to watch the shows?
33:12
There's no people in LA. I know.
33:15
There's only comedians. That's true, That's true.
33:18
There's enough people though that can fill some seats, but I
33:22
think they're overdoing it with all these comics.
33:26
Yeah, I think there's too many comedians.
33:27
Come on man, Netflix has everything.
33:31
Do you consider yourself a comedian or an actor or.
33:35
A comic actor, a pod actor. Yeah, yeah.
33:41
No, I consider myself, I've never really thought of a comic.
33:46
Yeah, yeah. But that, that belies a stand up
33:50
comic, right? You just, you just think you're
33:53
funny. Yeah, anything that requires
33:57
funny, you know. Do you not find it?
33:58
Do you find when people ask you what you do, you don't want to
34:00
say comedian because it sounds like?
34:03
AI did a bit about this in stand up, like on your passport,
34:07
because they'll say, well, tell me a joke, you know, and I'll
34:10
go, OK. Not at customs.
34:12
It feels like a bit of a risk. Yeah, yeah.
34:15
So I put Ryder. I mean, I do write.
34:17
Yeah, yeah. That, but then that feels like I
34:20
yeah, writer, I'm written anything.
34:24
Put Writer. Yeah, Actor.
34:26
Yeah. Do you have, do you have any
34:28
writing credits? All you need is 1.
34:32
No, I'm writing I, I write my, right?
34:35
You're on stand up. You're a writer.
34:36
Yeah, I'm a writer. There you go.
34:38
I'm trying to, I'm trying to write, I've written and I'm
34:40
trying to make a sitcom, but I I don't know if that's.
34:44
Have one at the ready because then when you're up in
34:46
Edinburgh, they'll go, what kind of TV show do you want to do?
34:50
And you go. Here's the scratch.
34:52
Do you think that's still do you think people still making TV as
34:55
someone that's like new into the world, why would you?
34:59
Where'd you see this guy? I.
34:59
Have heard that it's not as prevalent as it used to be, but
35:03
you never know. Yeah.
35:05
Right. Just still there, Yeah, but
35:08
still, there's magic in a bottle anywhere.
35:11
Yeah, that would be my dream. That's what got me into comedy,
35:14
was like sitcom like as well as Rick and Morty.
35:17
What was your favourite sitcom growing?
35:20
Up like Peep Show, The Thick of It, anything.
35:24
Jesse Armstrong and Armando Iannici based Gavin and Stacey
35:31
was great. I I used to my mom used to watch
35:35
friends like that used to just be on the TV all.
35:36
The Time Friends Frasier Frasier, Channel 4.
35:40
Frasier. People forget about Frasier.
35:42
We'll see. And you probably didn't get
35:45
exposed to Seinfeld. I've just much.
35:48
Finished Seinfeld for the first time now.
35:50
Because Seinfeld was on at a weird time in the UKI heard.
35:56
The 90s wait. Dude, you know, but Friends and
36:01
Frazier, they're on at like they were on in the morning on
36:04
Channel 4. You know, like a regular but but
36:07
Seinfeld was not on like it was. Yeah, I used to watch Friends,
36:12
like friends used to be on on the TV when I was getting ready
36:15
for school and I was like 12 years old.
36:17
Like it was just everywhere. And then How I Met Your Mother,
36:19
Modern Family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was.
36:25
I was. I was a 60s car salesman, a 12
36:28
year old. I put a cig.
36:30
I'm gonna push some Ford priests, put a.
36:33
Cigarette out and then get on the bus to school.
36:37
I didn't take the bus to school, but it's what you have to say.
36:41
On Yeah, yeah, you got it. Be real.
36:44
No, I used to. I loved those shows and I was
36:46
like, I want to do that. Like I used to recite things I'd
36:50
seen in sitcoms. 2 people at school that hadn't seen them but
36:53
see. They don't do those live studio
36:56
sitcoms ever. They're all single camera.
36:59
Yeah, right. Single Cam.
37:01
And I was just talking to this with a friend of mine yesterday
37:06
was all the nobody's. They're very rarely shows that
37:11
are just pure comedies in the US, maybe more.
37:15
They're all kind of comedy dramas, like The Bear is kind
37:21
of. Funny.
37:21
It's not funny comedy. Yeah.
37:23
Everything became dramadies. I mean, if you think even like,
37:27
you know, Jesse Armstrong goes on and then does.
37:29
Succession. Succession and it's really
37:31
funny. Amazing.
37:32
But it's not a it's not a sitcom.
37:34
No. What I've heard as because I'm
37:37
trying to pitch a sitcom at the moment, is that the the TV
37:40
channels here in the UK want sitcom.
37:44
Now they do after years and years of dramedy.
37:48
I don't know, but give them a call and see what well.
37:51
I. Pitched a live one.
37:52
It was 2015. What do you mean?
37:54
How does? What do you mean by live?
37:55
In front of a live studio audience.
37:59
So that's where you get like the like friends.
38:01
You get the real laughing. You get laughing and then you
38:04
spice it up a bit because you don't get as many laughs as you.
38:08
Want you had it in post CGI? Have you ever seen it's on
38:13
YouTube? They show friends but with no
38:16
laugh. Yeah, it's creepy.
38:17
So creepy. Have you seen Peep Show with no
38:20
internal monologue? No.
38:21
Because you know, have you seen Peep Shows?
38:23
Peep shows like the POV camera style?
38:25
Yeah, yeah. And then their thoughts, you
38:27
hear them over the top. And if you drown those out,
38:29
you're just staring at the person's face for like 10
38:32
seconds. So weird.
38:33
It's really creepy how? Why is it do you think that US
38:38
shows don't travel or UK shows don't travel well to the US?
38:44
Like they've tried to do Peep Show there about 3 different
38:48
times they did an AB fab that didn't work.
38:52
Yeah, I think, I don't think it's this like specifically AUS
38:56
problem. Whenever they take any of those
38:58
shows anywhere, they fail. Like they go to Australia, like
39:01
they're just doing the Australian office now, I think.
39:03
Office is pretty you. Know but the office they took.
39:06
It to the Garian. Office they could, but they
39:08
they, the US office, the first 4-5 episodes or whatever were
39:12
copies of the UK and it didn't quite work because they thought
39:17
Steve Carell's character. You remember the guy you
39:19
interviewed? He's too mean.
39:20
He's too mean. And then they changed it for the
39:23
American audience and it kills. But it's not really the same
39:26
show. No, it's not.
39:27
It's a different show. So I think the idea that you're
39:30
going to take The Inbetweeners and put it in the US and it's
39:32
going to work is ridiculous. It's like it was.
39:34
It's not. It's a different sensibility.
39:37
It's the same way most UK comedians can't break the US.
39:42
Why do you think that is? Because the ACT doesn't work
39:45
like Sean Locke's humour in the UI.
39:49
Don't know if he tried to break the US but like he's loved in
39:52
the UK. Oh yeah.
39:54
But that silliness or surreal nature might not work so well.
40:00
Silly, silly stand up is not. Doesn't travel as well I don't
40:05
think. No.
40:06
And it's like it's there are some people that like it.
40:08
But if you think about the people that sell out arenas in
40:11
the UK, very few do. The US, there's some comedians
40:15
who are huge. Jimmy Carr's doing quite well in
40:17
the. US Jimmy Carr and Ricky Gervais.
40:20
Yes. But I'm but not.
40:23
And Sarah Millican's big in the US now.
40:25
She is, Yeah. Because of clips and stuff.
40:28
She went huge. Everybody's getting big because
40:31
of clips. I think.
40:32
Use that as a clip. It's.
40:35
Going to be big one day. This it's, I think it's Rand.
40:39
And then I see some US comedians who are huge, come to the UK and
40:42
do quite small yeah shows. But we are constantly watching
40:46
American culture and we raced on their sitcoms, and it's a
40:49
smaller percentage of them that watch what we're doing.
40:51
What do you think about these big stadium shows?
40:55
I mean, it's it used to be only a few comics like Billy Connolly
41:00
would do 1 and now everybody's doing 1.
41:04
I think they're disgusting. It makes me sick.
41:07
I would, I would never do one unless I was asked and, and, and
41:11
I could sell it. But apart from that I, I think
41:14
comedy instead. I've seen a few comedians that
41:16
like The O2 and Wembley and it's always rubbish just because you,
41:21
the, you lose the intimacy. Yeah, I think the, I saw John
41:26
Mulaney at the Palladium last week and it was exceptional.
41:30
And I think the reason it works so well is because he can see,
41:34
if he has to, he can see the person at the back of the room
41:36
on the top deck. So it's, what, 2002, 1500 people
41:40
there? Yeah, but if he needed to, if
41:42
someone was chatting at the back, he would be able to just
41:45
about see them. But if you're told you can do
41:48
the Palladium, you'll do it right.
41:51
Or the O2, Yeah, I mean, it's hard to turn that down, even
41:56
though it might not be the optimal community.
41:59
But my dream would be I, I, I want to sell that many tickets,
42:04
of course. But I've heard too Comic, yes.
42:08
Of course, yes. I've heard about comics doing
42:11
large venues like that and it's hard to go back to a club.
42:15
It's, you know, because it's a different type.
42:18
Different timing. Presentational, you've almost
42:20
got to wait. Like we did the bouche in a lot
42:23
of when we did our second tour. In some big places you almost
42:29
had to wait after a joke for a couple of seconds because you'd
42:33
get to the back and then you'd hear the laughs come back and
42:36
then you go, no me joke. It must be weird because you're
42:40
telling the joke into the abyss. Yes.
42:43
Yeah. No, my dream would be if you
42:45
could sell 20,000 tickets, my dream would be to do 10 nights
42:49
at the Palladium rather than one night to the O2.
42:53
But I don't know why anybody does.
42:54
One night to the O2 and maybe the money's the money's better.
42:57
They're forced to. Why?
42:58
They're agents because the agents want to get a vacation
43:04
home. Is that it?
43:07
Yeah, holiday home. Holiday, yeah, but that day
43:13
you'll have that decision to make.
43:14
Yeah, my Edinburgh. After this podcast. 46 seats a
43:17
night. So I I I'm not too worried about
43:20
the the morality of the O2 at the moment.
43:23
So this is technically your first this.
43:25
Is my debut. Yeah, Edinburgh.
43:27
How are you going to get prepared for it?
43:29
Because you got to get in shape. Yeah, Drinking shape.
43:33
Yeah, sleep. Getting sleep.
43:36
My sleep's good, my sleep's good, and I'm glad.
43:39
Hydrate. I drink a lot of water, yeah.
43:41
Do you have a place up there? I don't know, but a lot, a lot
43:46
of things in and I. Talk too late.
43:48
Cancel it. Cancel it.
43:50
Oh no, I have accommodation. Oh sorry, I assumed you meant do
43:53
you own a place there? And do you have £7000 a month?
43:56
I have 15 grand worth of accommodation on the go.
44:00
They've got to stop those exorbitant I.
44:03
Think the Edinburgh, I mean, look, I think and this is
44:05
convenient for me, but I think after this year it's done a
44:08
little bit. I mean, it's getting ridiculous
44:10
with the cost and. I think they're going to pass
44:12
something. Once I've been, I think we
44:14
stopped. This is.
44:16
I think this year needs to go ahead because I've put a lot of
44:18
money into it, but next year you can call it off now.
44:21
After you get your award, Yeah, Yeah, OK, yeah.
44:24
Awards. Awards.
44:26
There's AZ. But that in Edinburgh that I'm
44:29
standing hang on Dundas St, Yeah, which is the big where all
44:34
the student accommodation is a road called Dundas.
44:36
Street. Now I want to ask you this,
44:37
because there is a town called Dundas, or is it a city in
44:42
Scotland? In Scotland there's not a town,
44:44
so Dundas was like a Scottish clan.
44:47
And in Edinburgh there's a lot of things named after Dundas.
44:49
So Dundas House, that big building, is the headquarters of
44:55
the Royal Bank of Scotland, and then Dundas Street is a street.
44:59
And these are relatives of yours.
45:01
These are my this is my 7th my 7 seven times great grandfather
45:06
bought you. Should be able to stay on that
45:08
street. Rich, I'm going back to take it.
45:11
Yeah. And it's not going to be
45:12
popular. I'm, I'm squatting at the Royal
45:15
Bank of Scotland now. Our family sold it like 300
45:18
years ago. I mean, I don't know when it
45:19
when the, the family dynasty collapsed, but I was looking it
45:23
up because of the one of the good things they say about AI.
45:26
Well, they don't talk about is like you can do your ancestry
45:28
pretty quickly. The one good thing it's.
45:30
The one because there's a lot of water usage and like loneliness
45:35
and psychosis, but on the other side I can figure out my
45:37
ancestry pretty. Quick, but it's putting the
45:39
ancestry business out of business. 21 and me or whatever
45:43
it is, 23andMe DNAI just supplied it my name, my parents
45:48
name, my mother's maiden name and it just.
45:50
Now it went off. Have you heard of the expression
45:54
Bin Dare Dundas? Because I used to say that a
46:00
lot. Yeah, when I was up there and I
46:02
saw Don Das, me and a friend used to say.
46:04
That I thought was I've always wanted to call a show that yes,
46:08
I'm a big fan of comedy shows where you managed to sneak your
46:12
name. Do it, yeah, because
46:14
subconsciously people will remember your name.
46:17
Yeah, yeah, I've been there. Don Das.
46:22
Yeah. I don't know if it's going to
46:24
read off the page being that Dundas.
46:27
Yeah. People are going to go What?
46:30
Yeah. Who the?
46:31
What would you could you do that?
46:33
I don't want to use Dundas. No, sure, if it was Rich Vulture
46:37
being that Dundas, it would be people would go yeah, the double
46:40
X back together. No, I'm excited to go up.
46:45
And yeah, the family connection I only figured out last year
46:50
really. Cuz I'm not really.
46:51
I'm not that. Close.
46:51
I have a last name, OK. I didn't realise, I thought it
46:55
was just a normal boy. You didn't know it had Scottish
46:59
ties. I knew it had Scottish ties.
47:01
I didn't realise it. I didn't realise they owned so
47:05
much of it. Yeah, because I I've not seen
47:07
any of that. You'll have a lot of cloud up
47:09
there. Drop Yeah, yeah.
47:11
I don't think we're that popular up there, to be honest.
47:14
Really. Shit.
47:15
I think in the Do you know the Jacobite Rebellion?
47:20
I've heard of you've heard of it.
47:21
I've heard of the the roughs. Yeah, yeah, there was a point at
47:25
which like the Highlands and the north of England pillaged the
47:33
South of Scotland, nice from above and below, Yes.
47:37
And my family got paid by the English to kill the Scottish.
47:43
OK, feeling that that's not. Can he shut it down?
47:46
Can. We shut that down.
47:47
Can we Fact Check that? But I I remember reading about
47:49
it at school and being like, that doesn't sound like a good,
47:52
good decision. Yeah, yeah.
47:53
Yeah. And I so I have a feeling that
47:56
the Scottish attitude to the name Dundas, if they have one at
48:01
all, it's mixed. Let me clear you now though.
48:04
You would not do this now if you were given the opportunity,
48:08
right? No, I wouldn't, sorry down the
48:12
camera. No I wouldn't.
48:13
But if the Riyadh Comedy Festival are looking for more
48:15
talent. Yeah.
48:17
Now, Alfie, we have a segment on the show called Fill in the
48:21
Blank. I'll give you 5 questions.
48:26
They have a blank which you have to fill in just off the top of
48:30
your head. It doesn't have to be funny, but
48:33
it probably should be. Yeah, yeah, sure.
48:36
But don't worry about it. OK, one the last time I went to
48:42
the dentist was blank. Last year.
48:46
Last year, that's pretty good. I am, yeah.
48:49
My dentist keeps calling me because I meant to do it every
48:54
six months. Alfie, I really liked your
48:56
mouth. Yeah.
48:57
Yeah, yeah. I just went.
49:02
I hadn't been since Covent. And you have a British dentist,
49:06
because we get a lot of shit with the Americans for having
49:08
bad teeth. I know.
49:10
Yeah, my dentist is my dentist pisses me off.
49:13
My hygienist I have a problem with right Because she she, she
49:18
knows I don't fuss. You don't fart, floss.
49:22
Oh, right. Yeah, flossing.
49:23
Yeah, Floss. I don't know why she'd be
49:26
concerned. By the way, I don't fart.
49:28
With anything else, yeah, yeah. She.
49:32
She knows. I don't.
49:33
She knows. She knows I don't.
49:35
I don't floss. She knows because I'm a normal
49:38
human being. And and she can tell, but she
49:42
still asks right? And then, and I don't know why
49:47
she puts me through. I don't like that.
49:50
I don't like, it's like when your doctor's like, do you
49:52
drink? Come on.
49:53
Yeah, 1 unit. One unit what?
49:56
Is 1 unit A barrel? No.
49:58
One unit's one and they and they go.
50:00
One unit, 3 to 5 units, 5 to 7 units you go.
50:03
Those can't be the three. Options.
50:06
And my my hygienist, every time she goes you're not flossing.
50:08
And then she stabs my gum with a knife and it bleeds.
50:12
And then she of course charges me £60 and I'm grateful for the.
50:15
Yeah, bleeding gums. Thank you. 2 blank is my most
50:21
prized possession. Under £20.
50:30
This is good. And just and just you want it
50:33
just quick off the top of the head.
50:35
No, I'd like it really long drawn out.
50:39
Blank is under £20 sterling. Yeah, yeah.
50:42
Not weight. In other words, like my car,
50:45
you, you can't say that. No, no I can't.
50:51
You figured me out. There is my favourite possession
50:54
under 20 lbs is. I feel like one of those out of
51:05
touch celebrities, you know, when they ask like Bill Gates,
51:08
they're like Bill Gates, how much is a cartoon of milk?
51:10
And he's like, I don't know, $60,000 and I'm like under £20.
51:14
I don't understand the question or.
51:15
Hillary Clinton can't pump gas or something and could.
51:19
You not. Well, any, any, any candidate
51:23
can't. Sure, sure.
51:25
My favourite thing under 20 lbs is probably like melatonin.
51:31
OK, that's good. It's OK.
51:32
You're not allowed to have that here, right?
51:34
But I get it from the US. See, that's good, I get.
51:36
It from the US. Really good stuff.
51:38
I have some old ones that I've saved from the US, but they're
51:42
probably. Really.
51:43
Like can't like. Yeah, yeah, you.
51:47
Turn into wine? Yeah, get me drunk and I'll
51:51
blank. Yeah, probably will.
51:54
OK, get me drunk and I'll go to bed.
52:01
I mean, I I like I I my issue with I can't drink that much
52:04
because if like an hour after I start drinking, I'll fall
52:07
asleep. Yeah, so.
52:09
And you haven't flossed, so you haven't.
52:11
Flossed. I'm done.
52:12
So, you know, people have like a like a beer in the day.
52:15
I don't know what I'm saying. Like gay drinking makes.
52:18
You like, like these kids. Have you seen what they're
52:20
doing? They're drinking pints in the
52:21
day. That's what you I have kids, so
52:26
OK, that's the only way I knew that.
52:28
You're the most like like up to date man from over 30.
52:33
That I know, right? And he's got a slutty little
52:37
moustache. You're like, you're like a 26
52:41
year old podcaster, you know? That I know I own blank books
52:45
that I've actually read. 4. 4. All the way through 4:00.
52:51
OK, out of how many? I own thousands of books.
52:54
You do. Yeah, because I just, I just got
52:56
them as gifts and I've read covered.
52:59
More than that. I'm getting back into it.
53:02
I'm trying to go, I'm going and now I'm my phone.
53:06
I don't use my phone and I'm deleting all my social media
53:09
apps and. I'm like the really.
53:12
I'm still posting but I'm not consuming.
53:15
I'm like, I feel obligated to also to watch a film the whole
53:20
way through, even if it's shit and read the book all the way
53:25
through. I can stop with the book pretty
53:27
quick. Pretty quick.
53:28
If the first page doesn't grab me, I'm out of there.
53:31
You. Know the wind was cold.
53:33
I'm out. That's terrible.
53:34
That's a terrible, you know. Nope, not for me.
53:37
You know, Also, I can't read fiction.
53:40
The wind was calm. Murder.
53:42
Yeah. Wait, I'll stay with that.
53:44
I'm in. Last question.
53:47
Yeah. Blank is none of your business.
53:54
Blank is none of your business. Yeah, blank is none of your
54:05
business. Kenny, he's taken the longest of
54:08
anybody I've had, right? I mean, people like snapping off
54:11
the blank is none of your business.
54:15
I'm not saying it's good. Snap it.
54:18
What's the blank? Isn't it bath time?
54:21
Bath time is none of my business.
54:23
It's true. People want to know about your
54:26
bath time. I love a bath.
54:29
Really, I have a bath every day. What do you got to hide?
54:33
Yeah. No, it's just my business.
54:35
OK, it's. My there's no there's no podcast
54:38
mics in the bathtub. What, are you not flossing in
54:40
the bath? Nah.
54:42
Not my teeth. No.
54:43
OK. All right.
54:45
I'll leave the time you see. Respect the boundary.
54:48
Now, this section of the show is called Plug Time.
54:51
It's your last chance to plug anything you want.
54:55
Yeah, the show's selling tickets.
54:58
Camera A for this one. OK, thanks for listening and if
55:05
you've enjoyed me, you can find me on Instagram.
55:08
Alfie Underscore Dundas Dundas Alfie Alf IE and I'm going to
55:13
the end of a fringe this August. My debut show, Dundis Binder
55:19
Dundas. It's not called that.
55:23
It's called Alfie Dundas first class panic and I'm doing it
55:26
every day and Rich is going to come to six or seven of the
55:29
show. So we're excited for.
55:31
That go to the Pleasants courtyard.
55:32
See this man he's very funny. All right.
55:36
Thank you. Do.
55:37
You not plug anything at the end.
55:38
I don't plug this podcast, watch this podcast, but you already
55:43
are. Keep watching.
55:46
Yeah. Thanks for coming.
55:47
Thanks for having me. Hey guys, that was the show.
55:51
Thanks for watching. You guys are the best.
55:55
Now please leave a comment if you like the show and if you'd
55:59
like to support us even more, consider joining Patreon.
56:06
You can become a member and get a badge that you get to stick
56:10
into your skin. No, no, I'm just kidding.
56:13
You get to see the episodes before anyone else and other
56:17
perks. So please have a think.
56:21
OK, bye. I've got hands
56:40
Rich Vultures talk box. I'd like to go.