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Why don't narcissist tell the truth · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about why don't narcissist just tell the
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  truth? The truth?
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  Truth. If you're new here.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. It seems so simple, doesn't it?
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  It seems so simplistic that it would be easier to tell the
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  truth, doesn't it? Like, why don't narcissists just
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  open their damn mouths and tell the truth?
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  Just tell me the truth. Tell me, hey, tell me.
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  Like, even if you give them a pass.
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  Even if you say, hey, look, if you're just honest with me, we
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  can work this out. We can talk about things.
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  Just be honest with me. I have proof that you're lying.
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  I I know the truth. I just want to hear you admit
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  it. Just admit the truth, and we can
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  work through this. And then they'll still lie.
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  Why? Why don't they just tell the
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  truth? Even when you give them a fair
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  offer? I promise you I won't leave you.
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  I promise you I won't fire you. I promise you I won't expose
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  you. I promise you.
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  Whatever it is, you can put it in writing.
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  You can be. You can sign Anba, be
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  contractually obligated to not say anything.
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  Offer them some money and they still won't tell the truth.
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  Why? Why lead you?
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  Lead you leading up to too much lead.
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  Lead too much lead up, too much lead up.
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  You see, dad, Dad jokes are 38 years old.
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  Y'all. But yeah, why don't they just
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  tell the truth? Because Simply put, Simply put,
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  but not simply understood. The truth may not be truth, may
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  not be simply understood. The truth does not serve them,
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  it just doesn't. Y'all the truth in the certain
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  situations does not serve they that narcissist or toxic person.
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  It just really doesn't. How does telling the truth
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  benefit them? If you're not like, let's just
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  say easy example, Let's just say they cheat on you, right?
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  You have proof of them cheating. You walk.
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  Yeah, you walked in on it and you had a look.
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  You walked in on it. You had two phones, a body Cam
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  and a head. And and those, those meta
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  glasses that record, you had them on three, like, yeah, you
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  got them on 3-4 different proof. And you had your friends saw it.
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  Everybody else saw you had you had witnesses.
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  Everybody else saw it. And you just say, hey, look,
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  just admit to it and just, yeah, we can work through this.
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  Just tell me why you did it. I didn't do anything.
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  What you talking about? I was just sitting here trying
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  to stretch her back out. She said, you know, I was
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  sitting here just like she had some unclapped cheeks and I was
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  just clapping them for her. Nothing, nothing wrong with
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  that. I'm just being helpful.
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  They will still lie because the truth doesn't serve them right
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  there. Y'all It really doesn't.
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  Because look, look, I know a lot of narcissists.
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  Not, not, not a lot, not a lot of narcissists.
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  I know a lot of people say that narcissists cannot put
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  themselves in other people's shoes.
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  They can in this type of situation.
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  Because the way my mind would work here.
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  I would think this right here if I were to.
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  If I, as a narcissist, were to walk in on you cheating on me.
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  And I had all this proof. No matter what you said to me.
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  I wouldn't believe you. I wouldn't trust you.
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  I wouldn't do anything. Like there's no coming back from
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  that. So I'm thinking that you think
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  the same thing. So if I admit to this, it just
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  makes it just means you're going to leave me faster.
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  You're going to leave me sooner. You.
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  It's a guaranteed it's guaranteed that you're going to
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  leave me. Because I would leave you if you
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  did the same thing to me. So the truth right here doesn't
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  benefit me. So why the hell do I tell you
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  the truth? You have the proof.
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  Why do you need me to say it? You know, in the way of some
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  narcissist minds works. It's just like you have this
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  proof. You should leave me.
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  Why you even why you give me this opportunity?
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  Because you still care about me. Because you still love me.
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  You know, I even know I got these freshly clapped cheeks
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  over there on the bed. You still love me.
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  You still care about me. You want to give me another
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  chance? So I think I can get you to give
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  me another chance without admitting anything.
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  So the truth does not benefit them.
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  Y'all. They don't trust you to follow
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  through because I wouldn't follow through.
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  They wouldn't follow through. They don't trust you to follow
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  through with what you said and what you have going on and what
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  you did because they would not follow through with it, if that
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  makes sense. They're not trying to tell so
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  many people like y'all. They they don't trust
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  themselves. They don't put it in this
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  situation where they would feel like you would trust them.
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  So why would they trust you? You know they are just like in
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  this space, like they don't. The truth does not serve them.
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  The truth. Look, I don't want the truth to
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  set me free. I'm thinking, you see what I'm
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  saying? The truth will set me free of
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  this relationship. But I don't want to be free of
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  this relationship. So I'm not going to tell you the
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  truth. It does not serve me.
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  Lying, on the other hand, does. Lying absolutely serves them in
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  this space right here. That's why you get a lot of
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  narcissists that are pathological liars.
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  It's pathological. They just lie, you know?
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  They just make up lies for the sake of lying.
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  They just be lying on y'all. Even if you have proof, like I
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  said, the body Cam, the wiretap, the private investigator
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  following them, they will still lie.
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  I knew the property investigator was following me, so I just met
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  this person and told them that. Hey, let me clap your cheeks,
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  because my my partner's got me a private investigator on me.
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  I'm going to mess with them. I knew the whole time.
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  That's the only reason I clapped your cheeks.
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  I got you. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mentality. That's the space that so many of
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  them fall into. It really, really is.
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  So you have to consider this is the type of stuff that you have
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  to consider. This is the type of stuff you
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  have to do moving forward. Mindset is a yeah, the mindset.
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  Mindset here is so absolutely important.
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  It really is. So that's why I want so many
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  people to win and understand that lying's lying serves a
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  purpose that the truth cannot. For them, lying is control and
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  power. If I tell you the truth, then if
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  I tell you the truth, then I lose all the control and power
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  because now you have me admitting to it.
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  Now you can expose me that now everything that you just say,
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  even with the proof you have me admitting to it.
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  So it's a double whammy right there.
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  I get hit from all different directions because now I
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  admitted to it. Now if I tell this lie on
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  camera, on tape, on film, on video, on recorder, then I can
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  at least fight for my rights later on.
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  You know I can fight. I can fight later on.
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  Lying allows that narcissist or toxic person, even if they're
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  composed of a pathological liar, lying allows them to control the
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  situation. It absolutely does.
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  Lying allows them to be meticulous with their intent.
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  Meticulous intent. They're very they're very
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  careful with their intent, with their intent, with their
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  intentions. Lying allows them to have some
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  power. If I tell the truth, you have
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  the power. You have the control.
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  You can do what you do, but if I lie, that's still on me.
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  I still have the power. So it's a power dynamic too.
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  Y'all. If I tell you the truth, I give
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  you the power. Why?
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  Why the hell why the hell would I want to give you the power?
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  If I'm all about power and control, then why would I give
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  it up so willingly to you? Oh, because you love them like
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  No, no, That's how you, as an impact think.
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  That's not how I like how I think.
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  And the narcissist. That's not how a lot of
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  narcissists think. You know, I'm going to do things
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  that serve me. I'm going to do things that
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  benefit me. So the truth does not benefit
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  me, but lying does. So I'm going to lie.
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  I'm going to come up with a lie on the spot or I'm going to be
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  silent. And just like plea, I'm going to
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  plead the 5th in the relationship, You know, I'm
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  going to plead the 5th, 5th, 5th, FIF 5th, Dave Chappelle,
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  wasn't it? FIF 5th.
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  I plead the 5th. They're going to keep, they're
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  going to keep, keep pleading the 5th in these situations right
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  here, because it benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  They don't want to confess to you because then you have the
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  power. Then you can hold that over my
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  head for the rest of my life if we do stay together, because I
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  would hold it over your head. They would hold it over your
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  head. You see, that's the mentality of
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  a lot of narcissists and a lot of toxic people.
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  I want to have the power. I want to have the control.
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  If I admit to this, even even though you caught me, you might
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  have the power and control. You might feel like it, but I'm
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  not going to ever admit to it. So you'll be battling like
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  you'll be battling A pointless battle.
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  You'll be fighting from the ground up right here because I'm
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  not admitting nothing. You won't have to.
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  You're going to have to hook up, hook a car battery up to me or
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  something like that. I ain't admit nothing.
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  Some narcissists will take it to their graveyard because they
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  don't. Yeah.
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  In my mind, I I'm so entitled and I'm so confident in my
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  abilities to talk that I feel like I can talk my way back into
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  this relationship. That narcissist in your life
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  probably feels like they can talk their way back into this
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  relationship or they'd just rather be done.
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  Some of them would, yeah. Some of them would rather leave
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  you. Some of them don't even lie or
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  tell the truth. They'll just leave you.
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  They'll just ghost you. They'll just give you the silent
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  treatment or Stonewall you and disappear on you, you know,
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  because they don't feel like they don't feel the need to
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  explain themselves. I don't have to explain myself
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  now. I'm caught, so why would I?
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  I'm caught, So why would I say anything else?
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  I'm already busted, so I'm going to.
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  Why would I say anything else? I'm going to just keep my mouth
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  shut and leave. Maybe I'll talk to you again.
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  Maybe I won't. Some of them will disappear on
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  you for good. Some of them, especially if you
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  if you have anything tied to this person.
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  Some of them will absolutely disappear on you for good after
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  you catch them in the act of doing something heinous like
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  this. They'll bounce on you.
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  They absolutely will. They'll they'll dip out on you
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  and just not say anything to you.
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  They don't have to lie to you. They just won't admit it and
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  just be silent and leave you be, you know?
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  And then this is what happens sometimes when they refuse to
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  talk and they just plead the 5th and just be silent.
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  Y'all will chase after them. You chased them for an answer.
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  Why? Why can't you tell me?
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  Tell me why. Why It wasn't enough.
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  Tell me why you had to step out. Tell me why you had to steal.
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  Tell me why you had to do this. Why?
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  Tell me why you can't just tell me the truth.
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  Like, tell me, tell me, tell me. Tell me what's wrong with me.
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  So when you end up. Yeah.
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  When you end up chasing after them, they win.
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  Narcissists think in terms of wins and losses.
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  This is a win for them. If you chase me, that's a win.
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  Because if you chase after me, then what I did to you must not
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  have been that bad, right? Because if it was, why are you
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  chasing me? If what I did to you or what I
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  put you through is that bad, then why are you chasing after
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  me? So that's why I tell people when
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  you pursue the narcissist, even after you caught them, if you
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  pursue them for an explanation, you pursue them foreclosure,
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  whatever it is, to tell you why they what you what, what you did
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  wrong. You lose.
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  They think in terms of wins and losses.
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  They want to win at all costs, you know.
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  They want to win at all costs. Whatever winning looks like to
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  them not telling them the truth, getting away with a lie, it
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  empowers them to get away with a lie as well.
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  Y'all. It serves them in that purpose
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  too. Because if they get away with a
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  lie then they could very well feel empowered in this
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  situation. They absolutely could.
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  So if I tell you had to protect your peace in this situations
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  because like if you and I will end up with this y'all, you
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  don't need a confession from a narcissist.
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  I explained why the truth. They don't tell the truth and
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  why they lie. But this is for you.
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  You do not need a confession from a narcissist.
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  If you have all this proof, if you have all this evidence, if
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  you have all these witnesses or whatever, you don't need a
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  confession from them because you already have the proof.
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  I know you want to hear them admit, admit it for your own
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  reasons or whatnot, but you don't need that.
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  You want it. You don't need it.
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  Just act on it. Because whatever you because if
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  you're giving them a chance to explain, explain themselves,
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  then they feel like they can win.
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  If you just know. If you realize it, catch them
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  and they don't speak on it again, they automatically feel
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  like there's a loss for them. You have to protect yourself in
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  this space right here and just you don't need a confession.
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  Because needing the confession, needing a closure.
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  Needing a needing some closure needing a reason behind why they
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  did what they did is going to keep you confused.
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  Going to keep you on this hook. It's going to keep you in this
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  type of relationship dynamic gal.
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  So I tell people y'all been, I've been saying this for almost
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  four years now. You do not need a confession.
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  If you have the proof. And what I mean by act on it, it
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  means ACT, act on it in whatever way you feel empowers you.
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  If that's leaving, if they're setting world boundaries, if
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  there's like, hey, whatever you feel like empowers you do that.
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  Y'all. But anyway, y'all thank you.
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  I'll tune into another episode. Of course, check out my many
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  courses and my support groups. The link is in the description
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  of every video and podcast I do. Five stars on Amazon.
• 12:14
  Five stars on Spotify. Mental illness is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a Mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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• 12:31
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• 12:33
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.