Latest / Science Fiction Books - Daily / 23 - The Flying Inn - GK Chesterton
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Chapter twenty three, The March on ivy Wood. That storm
- 0:05Speaker 1: spirit or eagle of Liberty, which is the sudden soul
- 0:08Speaker 1: in a crowd, had descended upon London after a foreign
- 0:11Speaker 1: tour of some centuries, in which it had commonly alighted
- 0:13Speaker 1: upon other capitals. It is always impossible to define an
- 0:17Speaker 1: instant and the turn of mood which makes the whole
- 0:19Speaker 1: difference between danger being worse than endurance and endurance being
- 0:23Speaker 1: worse than danger. The actual outbreak generally has a symbolic
- 0:26Speaker 1: or artistic or what some would call whimsical cause. Somebody
- 0:30Speaker 1: fires off a pistol, or appears in an unpopular uniform,
- 0:33Speaker 1: or refers in a loud voice to a scandal that
- 0:35Speaker 1: is never mentioned in the newspapers. Somebody takes off his
- 0:38Speaker 1: hat or somebody doesn't take off his hat, and a
- 0:41Speaker 1: city is sacked. Before midnight when the ever swelling army
- 0:44Speaker 1: of revolts smashed the whole street full of the shops
- 0:47Speaker 1: of mister Crook the Chemist, and then went on to Parliament,
- 0:50Speaker 1: the Tower of London, and the road to the sea.
- 0:52Speaker 1: The sociologists hiding in their coal cellars could think, in
- 0:55Speaker 1: that clarifying darkness of many material and spiritual explanations of
- 0:59Speaker 1: such as Dorman human souls, but of none that explained
- 1:02Speaker 1: it quite enough. Doubtless, there was a great deal of
- 1:04Speaker 1: sheer drunkenness when the urns and goblets of Asclepius were
- 1:07Speaker 1: reclaimed as belonging to Bacchus, And many who went roaring
- 1:10Speaker 1: down that road were merely stored with rich wines in
- 1:13Speaker 1: the cours, which are more comfortably and quietly digested at
- 1:15Speaker 1: a city banquet or a west end restaurant. But many
- 1:18Speaker 1: of these had been blind drunk twenty times without a
- 1:20Speaker 1: thought of rebellion. You could not stretch the material explanation
- 1:23Speaker 1: to cover a corner of the case. Much more general
- 1:26Speaker 1: was a savage sense of the meanness of Krook's wealthy
- 1:28Speaker 1: patrons in keeping a door open for themselves which they
- 1:31Speaker 1: had wantonly shut on less happy people. But no explanation
- 1:34Speaker 1: can explain it, and no man can say when it
- 1:36Speaker 1: will come. Dorian Whimple was at the tail of the procession,
- 1:40Speaker 1: which grew more and more crowded every moment. For one
- 1:42Speaker 1: space of the march. He even had the misfortune to
- 1:44Speaker 1: lose it altogether, owing to the startling activity which the
- 1:48Speaker 1: rotund cheese when it escaped from his hands, showed in
- 1:51Speaker 1: descending a somewhat steep road toward the river. But in
- 1:54Speaker 1: recent days he had gained a pleasure in practical events,
- 1:56Speaker 1: which was like a second youth. He managed to find
- 1:59Speaker 1: a stray taxicab and had little difficulty in picking up
- 2:01Speaker 1: again the trail of the extraordinary cortege. Inquiries addressed to
- 2:05Speaker 1: a policeman with a black eye outside the House of
- 2:07Speaker 1: Commons informed him sufficiently of the rebel's line of retreat
- 2:10Speaker 1: or advance, or whatever it was, and in a very
- 2:12Speaker 1: short time he beheld the Unmistakable Legion once more. It
- 2:16Speaker 1: was unmistakable because in front of it there walked a
- 2:18Speaker 1: red headed giant, apparently carrying with him a wooden portion
- 2:22Speaker 1: of some public building, and also because so big a
- 2:24Speaker 1: crowd had never followed any man in England for a
- 2:27Speaker 1: long time past. But except for such things, the Unmistakable
- 2:30Speaker 1: crowd might well have been mistaken for another one. Its
- 2:33Speaker 1: aspect had been altered almost as much as if it
- 2:35Speaker 1: had grown horns or tusks, For many of the company
- 2:38Speaker 1: walked with outlandish weapons like iron teeth or horns, bills
- 2:41Speaker 1: and pole axes, and spears with strangely shaped heads. What
- 2:44Speaker 1: was stranger still whole rows and rows of them had rifles,
- 2:48Speaker 1: and even marched with a certain discipline. And yet again
- 2:51Speaker 1: others seemed to have snatched a household or workshop tools,
- 2:54Speaker 1: meat axes, pick axes, hammers, and even carving knives. Such
- 2:57Speaker 1: things need be none the less deadly, because they are
- 2:59Speaker 1: the mess They have figured in millions of private murders
- 3:02Speaker 1: before they appeared in any public war. Dorian was so
- 3:06Speaker 1: fortunate as to meet the flame haired captain almost face
- 3:09Speaker 1: to face, and easily fell into step with him at
- 3:11Speaker 1: the head of the march. Humphrey Pump walked on the
- 3:13Speaker 1: other side, with the celebrated casks suspended round his neck
- 3:16Speaker 1: by something resembling braces, as if it were a drum.
- 3:19Speaker 1: Mister Wimple had himself taken the opportunity of his brief
- 3:22Speaker 1: estrangement to carry the cheese somewhat more easily in a
- 3:24Speaker 1: very large, loose, waterproof knapsack on his shoulders. The effect
- 3:28Speaker 1: in both cases was to suggest dreadful deformities and two
- 3:31Speaker 1: persons who happened to be exceptionally cleanly built. The captain,
- 3:35Speaker 1: who seemed to be in tearing and towering spirits gained
- 3:38Speaker 1: great pleasure from this, But Dorian had his sources of
- 3:40Speaker 1: amusement too. What have you been doing with yourselves since
- 3:44Speaker 1: you lost my judicious guidance, he asked, laughing, And why
- 3:47Speaker 1: are parts of you a dull revue and parts of
- 3:49Speaker 1: you a fancy dress ball? What have you been up to?
- 3:52Speaker 1: We've been shopping, said mister Patrick Dolroy, with some pride.
- 3:55Speaker 1: We are country cousins. I know all about shopping. Let
- 3:58Speaker 1: us see what are the phrases about it? Look at
- 4:00Speaker 1: those rifles now, we got them at quite a bargain.
- 4:03Speaker 1: We went to all the best gunsmiths in London and
- 4:06Speaker 1: we didn't pay much. In fact, we didn't pay anything.
- 4:08Speaker 1: That's what is called a bargain, isn't it. Surely I've
- 4:11Speaker 1: seen in those things they send to ladies something about
- 4:14Speaker 1: giving them away. Then we went to a remnant sale,
- 4:17Speaker 1: at least it was a remnant sail when we left,
- 4:19Speaker 1: and we bought that piece of stuff we've tied round
- 4:21Speaker 1: the sign. Surely it must be what ladies called chiffon.
- 4:25Speaker 1: Dorian lifted his eyes and perceived that a very coarse
- 4:27Speaker 1: strip of red rag, possibly collected from a dust bin
- 4:30Speaker 1: had been tied round the wooden sidepost by way of
- 4:33Speaker 1: a red flag of revolution. Not what ladies call chiffon
- 4:36Speaker 1: inquired the captain with anxiety. Well, anyhow, it is what
- 4:39Speaker 1: chiffonier is call it. But as I'm going to call
- 4:42Speaker 1: on a lady shortly, I'll try to remember the distinction.
- 4:46Speaker 1: Is your shopping over, may i? Ask, asked mister Wimple,
- 4:49Speaker 1: All but one thing, answered the other. I must find
- 4:52Speaker 1: a music shop, you know what I mean, place where
- 4:54Speaker 1: they sell pianos and things of that sort. Look here,
- 4:57Speaker 1: said Dorian, This cheese is pretty heavy as it is
- 5:00Speaker 1: to carry a piano too. You misunderstand me, said the captain, calmly,
- 5:04Speaker 1: and as he had never thought of music shops until
- 5:06Speaker 1: his eye had caught one an instant before, he darted
- 5:09Speaker 1: into the doorway, Returning almost immediately with a long parcel
- 5:12Speaker 1: under his arm, he resumed the conversation. Did you go
- 5:15Speaker 1: anywhere else, asked Dorian, Except to shops anywhere else, cried
- 5:20Speaker 1: Patrick indignantly. Haven't you got any country, cousins? Of course,
- 5:23Speaker 1: we went to all the right places. We went to
- 5:25Speaker 1: the houses of Parliament. But Parliament isn't sitting, so there
- 5:28Speaker 1: are no eggs of the quality suitable for elections. We
- 5:31Speaker 1: went to the Tower of London. You can't tire country
- 5:33Speaker 1: cousins like us. We took away some curiosities of steel
- 5:36Speaker 1: and iron. We even took away the halberds from the beefeaters.
- 5:39Speaker 1: We pointed out that for the purpose of eating beef,
- 5:42Speaker 1: they are only a vowed public object. Knives and force
- 5:44Speaker 1: had always been found more convenient to tell the truth.
- 5:47Speaker 1: They seemed rather relieved to be relieved of them. And
- 5:50Speaker 1: may I ask, said the other with a smile, where
- 5:53Speaker 1: you are off to now another beauty spot, cried the
- 5:57Speaker 1: captain boisterously. No tiring the country. I'm going to show
- 6:01Speaker 1: my young friends from the provinces what is perhaps the
- 6:03Speaker 1: finest old country house in England. We are going to
- 6:05Speaker 1: ivy Wood, not far from the big watering place they
- 6:08Speaker 1: call Pebblewick. I see, said Dorian, and for the first
- 6:11Speaker 1: time looked back with intelligent trouble on his face. On
- 6:14Speaker 1: the marching ranks behind him, Captain Delroy said Dorian Wimple
- 6:18Speaker 1: in a slightly altered tone, there is one thing that
- 6:20Speaker 1: puzzles me. Ivywood talked about having set the police to
- 6:24Speaker 1: catch us, and though this is a pretty big crowd.
- 6:26Speaker 1: I simply cannot believe that the police, as I knew
- 6:28Speaker 1: them in my youth, could not catch us. But where
- 6:30Speaker 1: are the police? You seem to have marched through half
- 6:32Speaker 1: of London with much If you'll excuse me of the
- 6:35Speaker 1: appearance of carrying murderous weapons. Lord Ivywood threatened that the
- 6:38Speaker 1: police would stop us. Well, why didn't they stop us?
- 6:42Speaker 1: Your subject, said Patrick, cheerfully divides itself into three heads.
- 6:46Speaker 1: I hope not, said Dorian. There really are three reasons
- 6:49Speaker 1: why the police should not be prominent in this business,
- 6:52Speaker 1: as their worst enemy cannot say that they were. He
- 6:55Speaker 1: began ticking off the three on his own huge fingers,
- 6:57Speaker 1: and seemed to be quite serious about it. First, he said,
- 7:01Speaker 1: you have been a long time away from town. Probably
- 7:03Speaker 1: you do not know a policeman when you see him.
- 7:05Speaker 1: They do not wear helmets, as our line regiments did
- 7:07Speaker 1: after the Prussians had won. They wear fezzes because the
- 7:10Speaker 1: Turks have won. Shortly, I have little doubt they will
- 7:12Speaker 1: wear pigtails because the Chinese have won. It is a
- 7:15Speaker 1: very interesting branch of moral science. It is called efficiency. Second,
- 7:20Speaker 1: explained the captain, you have perhaps omitted to notice that
- 7:24Speaker 1: a very considerable number of those wearing such fezzes are
- 7:26Speaker 1: walking just behind us. Oh, yes, it's quite true. Don't
- 7:29Speaker 1: you remember that the whole French Revolution really began because
- 7:32Speaker 1: a sort of Sydney militia refused to fire on their
- 7:34Speaker 1: own fathers and wives, and even showed some slight traces
- 7:37Speaker 1: of a taste for firing on the other side. You'll
- 7:39Speaker 1: see lots of them behind, and you can tell them
- 7:41Speaker 1: by their revolver belts, and they're walking in set. But
- 7:44Speaker 1: don't look back on them too much. It makes them nervous.
- 7:47Speaker 1: And the third reason, asked Dorian for the real reason,
- 7:51Speaker 1: answered Patrick, I'm not fighting a hopeless fight. People who
- 7:54Speaker 1: have fought in real fights don't as a rule. But
- 7:56Speaker 1: I noticed something singular about the very point you mentioned.
- 7:59Speaker 1: Why are there no more police? Why are there no
- 8:01Speaker 1: more soldiers? I will tell you there really are very
- 8:04Speaker 1: few policemen or soldiers left in England to day. Surely,
- 8:08Speaker 1: that said wimple is an unusual complaint, but very clear,
- 8:12Speaker 1: said the captain gravely to any one who has ever
- 8:14Speaker 1: seen sailors or soldiers, I will tell you the truth.
- 8:17Speaker 1: Our rulers have come to count on the bare, bodily
- 8:20Speaker 1: cowardice of a mass of Englishmen, as a sheep dog
- 8:22Speaker 1: counts on the cowardice of a flock of sheep. Now
- 8:24Speaker 1: look here, mister Wimple, would do shepherd be wise to
- 8:26Speaker 1: limit the number of his dogs if he could make
- 8:28Speaker 1: his sheep pay by it. At the end, you might
- 8:30Speaker 1: find millions of sheep managed by a solitary dog. But
- 8:33Speaker 1: that is because they are sheep. Suppose the sheep were
- 8:36Speaker 1: turned by a miracle into wolves. There are very few
- 8:38Speaker 1: dogs they could not tear in pieces. But what is
- 8:41Speaker 1: my practical point? There are really very few dogs to tear.
- 8:44Speaker 1: You don't mean, said Dorian, that the British Army is
- 8:47Speaker 1: practically disbanded. There are the sentinels outside Whitehall, replied Patrick
- 8:52Speaker 1: in a low voice. But indeed your question puts me
- 8:55Speaker 1: in a difficulty. No, the army is not entirely disbanded,
- 8:58Speaker 1: of course, but the British. Did you ever hear, Wimple
- 9:01Speaker 1: of the great destiny of the Empire? I seem to
- 9:04Speaker 1: have heard the phrase, replied his companion. It is in
- 9:07Speaker 1: four acts, said Delroy. Victory over barbarians, employment of barbarians,
- 9:12Speaker 1: alliance with barbarians. Conquest by barbarians, that is the great
- 9:16Speaker 1: destiny of empire. I think I begin to see what
- 9:20Speaker 1: you mean, returned Dorian Wimple. Of course, Ivywood and the
- 9:23Speaker 1: authorities do seem very prone to rely on the Sepoy
- 9:26Speaker 1: troops and other troops as well, said Patrick. I think
- 9:29Speaker 1: you will be surprised when you see them. He tramped
- 9:32Speaker 1: out for a while in silence, and then said, with
- 9:34Speaker 1: some air of abruptness, which yet did not seem to
- 9:36Speaker 1: be entirely a changing of the subject. Do you know
- 9:39Speaker 1: the man who lives now on the estate next to
- 9:40Speaker 1: ivy Wood? No, replied Dorian. I'm tild. He keeps himself
- 9:44Speaker 1: very much to himself, and as a state too, said Patrick,
- 9:48Speaker 1: rather gloomily. If you would climb his garden wall, Wimple,
- 9:51Speaker 1: I think you would find an answer to a good
- 9:53Speaker 1: many of your questions. Oh. Yes, the right, honorable gentlemen
- 9:56Speaker 1: are making full provision for public order and national defense
- 10:00Speaker 1: in a way. He fell into an almost sullen silence,
- 10:03Speaker 1: and several villages had been passed before he spoke again.
- 10:06Speaker 1: They tramped through the darkness and down surprised them somewhere
- 10:09Speaker 1: in the wilder and more wooded parts, where the roads
- 10:11Speaker 1: began to rise in roam. Dowroy gave an exclamation of
- 10:14Speaker 1: pleasure and pointed ahead, drawing the attention of Dori. Into
- 10:17Speaker 1: the distance. Against the silver and scarlet bars of the
- 10:20Speaker 1: daybreak could be seen afar a dark purple dome with
- 10:22Speaker 1: a crown of dark green leaves, the place they had
- 10:25Speaker 1: called round about. Dowroy's spirits seemed to revive at the sight,
- 10:28Speaker 1: with the customary accompaniment of the threat of vocalism. Then
- 10:32Speaker 1: making any poems lightly, he asked of wimple, Nothing particular,
- 10:36Speaker 1: replied the poet, then said the captain, portentously, clearing his throat.
- 10:41Speaker 1: You shall listen to one of mine, whether you like
- 10:43Speaker 1: it or not. Nay, the more you dislike it, the
- 10:45Speaker 1: longer and longer it will be. I begin to understand
- 10:48Speaker 1: why soldiers want to sing when on the march, and
- 10:50Speaker 1: also why they put up with such rotten songs. The
- 10:54Speaker 1: druids waved their golden knives and danced around the oak
- 10:57Speaker 1: when they had sacrificed a man. But though the learned's
- 11:00Speaker 1: search and scan, no single modern person can entirely see
- 11:04Speaker 1: the joke. But though they cut the throats of men,
- 11:07Speaker 1: they cut not down the tree, and from the blood
- 11:09Speaker 1: the sapling sprang of oak Wood's yet to be. But
- 11:12Speaker 1: ivy Wood, Lord ivy Wood, he rots the tree as
- 11:15Speaker 1: ivy would. He clings and crawls as ivy Wood about
- 11:19Speaker 1: the sacred tree. King Charles, he fled from Worcester fight
- 11:23Speaker 1: and hid him in an oak in convent schools. No
- 11:26Speaker 1: man of tact would trace and praise his every act,
- 11:29Speaker 1: or argue that he was in fact a strict and
- 11:31Speaker 1: sainted bloke. But not by him. The sacred woods have
- 11:34Speaker 1: lost their fancies free. And though he was extremely big,
- 11:38Speaker 1: he did not break the tree. But ivy Wood, Lord
- 11:41Speaker 1: ivy Wood, he breaks the tree as ivy Wood, and
- 11:43Speaker 1: eats the wood as ivy Wood. Between us and the sea,
- 11:47Speaker 1: Great Collingwood walked down the glade and flung the acorns free.
- 11:51Speaker 1: The oaks might still be in the grove, as oaken
- 11:53Speaker 1: as the beams above when the great lover Sailor's love
- 11:57Speaker 1: was kissed by death at sea. But though for him
- 11:59Speaker 1: the oak trees fell to build the oaken ships, the
- 12:02Speaker 1: woodman worshiped what he smoked, and honored even the chips.
- 12:06Speaker 1: But ivy Wood, Lord ivy Wood, he hates the tree
- 12:09Speaker 1: as Ivy would as the dragon of the ivy wood
- 12:12Speaker 1: that has us in his grips. They were ascending a
- 12:16Speaker 1: sloping road, wilding on both sides by solemn woods, which
- 12:19Speaker 1: somehow seemed as watchful as owls awake, though daybreak was
- 12:22Speaker 1: going over them with banners scrolls of scarlet and gold,
- 12:25Speaker 1: and with a wind like trumpets of triumph. The dark
- 12:27Speaker 1: wood seemed to hold their secret like dark cool cellars.
- 12:30Speaker 1: Nor was the strong sunlight seen in them, save in
- 12:32Speaker 1: one or two brilliant shafts that looked like splintered emeralds.
- 12:36Speaker 1: I should not wonder, said Dorian, if the ivy does
- 12:39Speaker 1: not find, the tree knows the thing. Or two also
- 12:42Speaker 1: the tree does, assented the captain. The trouble was that
- 12:45Speaker 1: until a little while ago, the tree did not know
- 12:47Speaker 1: that it knew there was a silence. And as they
- 12:50Speaker 1: went up, the incline grew steeper and steeper, and the
- 12:52Speaker 1: tall trees seemed more and more to be guarding something
- 12:55Speaker 1: from sight, as with the gray shields of giants. Do
- 12:58Speaker 1: you remember this road, humph asked Dolroy of the innkeeper. Yes,
- 13:03Speaker 1: answered Humphrey Pump, and said no more. But few have
- 13:05Speaker 1: ever heard such fullness in an affirmative. They marched on
- 13:09Speaker 1: in silence, and about two hours afterward, toward eleven o'clock,
- 13:12Speaker 1: Dowroy called a halt in the forest and said that
- 13:14Speaker 1: everybody had better have a few hours sleep. The impenetrable
- 13:17Speaker 1: quality in the woods and the comparative softness of the
- 13:19Speaker 1: carpet of beech mast made the spot as appropriate as
- 13:22Speaker 1: the time was inappropriate. And if anyone thinks that common
- 13:26Speaker 1: people casually picked up in a street could not follow
- 13:28Speaker 1: a random leader on such a journey, or sleep at
- 13:31Speaker 1: his command in such a spot, given the state of
- 13:33Speaker 1: the soul, then some one knows no history. I'm afraid,
- 13:38Speaker 1: said Dolroy. You'll have to have supper for your breakfast.
- 13:41Speaker 1: I know an excellent place for having breakfast, but it's
- 13:43Speaker 1: too exposed for sleep, and sleep you must have. So
- 13:46Speaker 1: we won't unpack the stores just now. We'll lie down
- 13:48Speaker 1: like babes in the wood, and any bird of an
- 13:51Speaker 1: industrious disposition is free to start covering them with leaves. Really,
- 13:54Speaker 1: there are things coming before which you will want sleep.
- 13:58Speaker 1: When they resumed the march, it was nearly the middle
- 14:00Speaker 1: of the afternoon, and the meal which Dolroy insisted buoyantly
- 14:02Speaker 1: on describing his breakfast was taken about that mysterious hour
- 14:06Speaker 1: when ladies die without tea. The steep road had consistently
- 14:10Speaker 1: grown steeper and steeper and steeper, and at last Dalroy
- 14:14Speaker 1: said to Dori and Wimple, don't drop that cheesy and
- 14:17Speaker 1: just here, we'll roll right away down into the woods.
- 14:19Speaker 1: I know it will. No scientific calculations of grades and
- 14:22Speaker 1: angles are necessary, because I have seen it do so myself.
- 14:26Speaker 1: In fact, I have run after it. Wimple realized they
- 14:29Speaker 1: were mounting to the sharp edge of a ridge, and
- 14:31Speaker 1: in a few moments he knew, by the oddness in
- 14:33Speaker 1: the shape of the trees what it had been that
- 14:34Speaker 1: the trees were hiding. They had been walking along a
- 14:37Speaker 1: swelling woodland path beside the sea. On a particular high
- 14:40Speaker 1: plateau projecting above the shore, stood some dwarfed and crippled
- 14:43Speaker 1: apple trees, of whose apples no man alive would have eaten,
- 14:46Speaker 1: so sour and salt they must be. All The rest
- 14:49Speaker 1: of the plateau was bald and featureless, but Pump looked
- 14:52Speaker 1: at it, every inch of it, as if at an
- 14:54Speaker 1: inhabited place. This is where we'll have breakfast, he said,
- 14:57Speaker 1: pointing to the naked grassy waste. It's the best inn
- 15:00Speaker 1: in England. Some of his audience began to laugh, but
- 15:04Speaker 1: somehow suddenly ceased doing so as Dowroy strode forward and
- 15:07Speaker 1: planted the sign of the old ship on the desolate
- 15:09Speaker 1: sea shore. And now he said, you have charge of
- 15:13Speaker 1: the stores we brought up, and we will picnic as
- 15:15Speaker 1: it said in a song, I once sang the saracen's head.
- 15:19Speaker 1: Out of there became King Richard, riding in arms like flame.
- 15:22Speaker 1: And where he established his folk to be fed, he
- 15:24Speaker 1: set up his spear and the saracen's head. It was
- 15:28Speaker 1: nearly dusk before the mob, much swelled by the many
- 15:31Speaker 1: discontented on the Ivywood Estates, reached the gates of Ivywood
- 15:34Speaker 1: House strategically and for the purposes of a night's surprise.
- 15:37Speaker 1: This might have done credit to the captain the military capacity,
- 15:40Speaker 1: but the use to which he put it actually was
- 15:42Speaker 1: what some might call eccentric. When he had disposed his
- 15:45Speaker 1: forces with strict injunctions of silence for the first few minutes,
- 15:48Speaker 1: he turned to Pump and said, and now before we
- 15:51Speaker 1: do anything else, I'm going to make a noise, and
- 15:53Speaker 1: he produced from under brown paper, what appear to be
- 15:55Speaker 1: a musical instrument. A summons to parley, inquired Dorian with interest,
- 16:00Speaker 1: a trumpet of defiance or something of that kind, No,
- 16:03Speaker 1: said Patrick a serenade. End of Chapter twenty three.