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Transcript

“I’ve Lost Myself” Is the Most Dangerous Lie You’ve Been Believing · Your Utmost Life

0:00
Misty Celli: Do you find yourself feeling numb in moments that should feel meaningful?
0:04
Misty Celli: Feel invisible in rooms even with those you love?
0:08
Misty Celli: Or like you're going through the motions of a life instead of living it?
0:12
Misty Celli: You've been trying to feel like yourself again by doing things that should help, like journaling, taking a night off, or reorganizing your calendar and setting new habits, reading self-help posts, but none of it touches the part of you that feels missing.
0:27
Misty Celli: Because the problem was never your schedule.
0:30
Misty Celli: It was never your motivation, discipline, or effort.
0:34
Misty Celli: The advice you were using to find yourself was surface level, incomplete advice, like only having half the ingredients to make a souffle.
0:43
Misty Celli: When you try to rise up, you fell flat.
0:46
Misty Celli: You're trying to find a remedy, but are using the wrong tools at the wrong stage, using a hammer when you need a level.
0:53
Misty Celli: And that's why you feel like you're disappearing inside the responsibilities you carry.
0:58
Misty Celli: You feel like you're functioning but not existing.
1:01
Misty Celli: You feel like you're the glue holding everything together, but nothing is holding you together.
1:06
Misty Celli: You tried being more intentional, but you didn't feel more like yourself.
1:10
Misty Celli: These aren't personality flaws or failures, and you are certainly not broken, but they're signs of an identity disconnection, the identity eraser effect.
1:20
Misty Celli: And today you will discover the whole complete framework for finding yourself and why saying you've lost yourself is a dangerous lie.
1:27
Misty Celli: By the time that we are through today, you will know the three phases you need to go through, exactly what and why those phases are needed, in what order and what you will achieve when you have them, and why you feel stuck without them.
1:39
Misty Celli: And you will have one clear, appropriately placed first step to actually see yourself again.
1:44
Misty Celli: If you're an ambitious mother who feels like you're living for everyone else and you catch yourself thinking, is this all there is?
1:51
Misty Celli: You were in the right place.
1:53
Misty Celli: You were never meant to disappear into your roles.
1:55
Misty Celli: But somewhere between everyone's needs and everyone's expectations, you became invisible, disconnected, and living on autopilot.
2:03
Misty Celli: Feel present, self-led, and decisive in six weeks, connecting to the woman under the roles.
2:08
Misty Celli: By following this identity reset, feel like yourself again six weeks series.
2:12
Misty Celli: Reclaim who you are, design a life that is fully and intentionally yours, and show up every day as the utmost woman you've always been, not just for everyone else, but finally fully for yourself.
2:23
Misty Celli: This is where you begin the process of returning to your utmost self, not by accident, not by obligation, but by design.
2:30
Misty Celli: Welcome to your utmost life podcast.
2:32
Misty Celli: I am Misty, Identity and Self Leadership Coach for Ambitious Mothers.
2:36
Misty Celli: Quick reminder: if you haven't hit subscribe or follow yet, do that now.
2:40
Misty Celli: Doing so ensures every episode lands in your feet automatically so you don't lose the thread.
2:46
Misty Celli: Okay, let's get into it.
2:48
Misty Celli: Last week I told you something, and I want to start there today because I think it's the most important sentence in this whole series.
2:56
Misty Celli: You didn't fail the things you tried before.
2:58
Misty Celli: They failed you because they were solving the wrong problem.
3:02
Misty Celli: I know that you've tried perhaps self-care checklists that lasted four days before life swooped in, and somewhere amongst life's craziness, you misplaced the list and couldn't remember what you were supposed to be doing.
3:15
Misty Celli: Maybe it was a 5 a.m.
3:17
Misty Celli: routine you white knuckled through for a week and a half, but then Wednesday came and you quietly abandoned it, feeling like a failure for not sticking with it.
3:25
Misty Celli: Perhaps it was the vision board that's still sitting in the closet somewhere, full of things you meant to accomplish.
3:32
Misty Celli: Maybe it was therapy, which genuinely helped you understand yourself, but you left each session with insight and no idea what to actually do with it.
3:40
Misty Celli: Here's what I want you to notice about all of that.
3:43
Misty Celli: Every single one of those things asked something of your behavior.
3:47
Misty Celli: Wake up early, journal more, say no more, do the checklist.
3:52
Misty Celli: And actions without something solid underneath them become chores and exhausting obligations that don't bring relief.
3:59
Misty Celli: This isn't a discipline problem.
4:01
Misty Celli: It's an order problem.
4:03
Misty Celli: Identity has to come first.
4:05
Misty Celli: Behavior that isn't built on top of identity always collapses because you're asking yourself to act like someone you haven't actually agreed you are yet.
4:14
Misty Celli: Your mind says this isn't who you are.
4:17
Misty Celli: This isn't really what you want.
4:18
Misty Celli: And then reminds you of all the things that are more important should come first and those things that support the role identities you're currently saying you are, those that you agree with already.
4:30
Misty Celli: That's the missing ingredient.
4:32
Misty Celli: That's why it fell flat.
4:34
Misty Celli: You haven't lost yourself, you've lost access to yourself.
4:38
Misty Celli: So when you say I've lost myself, it feels true, but it's not accurate.
4:42
Misty Celli: It's a misdiagnosis.
4:44
Misty Celli: A misdiagnosis leads to misaligned solutions.
4:47
Misty Celli: And every time you've tried to find yourself using surface level advice like journaling, bubble bass, time blocking, habit stacking, you were trying to solve an identity problem with lifestyle tools.
4:59
Misty Celli: You've been using a system that was never designed to help you feel like yourself.
5:03
Misty Celli: It's like trying to bake a souffle with half the ingredients.
5:07
Misty Celli: You can follow the instructions perfectly, but it will still fall flat because the system was incomplete.
5:13
Misty Celli: You were trying to rise without the structure required to rise.
5:17
Misty Celli: And every time you fell flat, you assumed you were the problem.
5:20
Misty Celli: But the truth is you were using tools that were solving the wrong problem.
5:25
Misty Celli: Last week I named something for you: the identity eraser effect, the slow erosion of your sense of self.
5:32
Misty Celli: And when you're disconnected from yourself, you can't feel desire, preferences, clarity, direction, agency, or identity.
5:39
Misty Celli: So you say, I've lost myself, because that's the only language you've ever had.
5:43
Misty Celli: Today you get a new language.
5:46
Misty Celli: I also promised I'd show you exactly how it happens, not as something wrong with you, but as a pattern with a shape that you can actually see.
5:53
Misty Celli: There are three patterns that do most of the erasing.
5:57
Misty Celli: As I describe them, notice which one grabs your attention the most and speaks to your day, the way you feel.
6:02
Misty Celli: Roll rush is the pattern that happens before the day starts.
6:06
Misty Celli: You wake up and you're already behind.
6:09
Misty Celli: Before your feet hit the floor, your brain is already running through everyone else's needs.
6:14
Misty Celli: You're already everyone's everything, and you haven't given a single minute to yourself.
6:19
Misty Celli: It sounds like, what's for dinner?
6:21
Misty Celli: Did I get that ordered?
6:22
Misty Celli: Did I tell him about the meeting scheduled?
6:25
Misty Celli: You wake up tired and you start your day in reaction mode instead of intention mode.
6:30
Misty Celli: You're grabbing your phone before you've taken a moment to notice how you feel.
6:34
Misty Celli: Roll rush erases you before the day begins.
6:38
Misty Celli: Calendar creep is the pattern where your time gets taken before you ever get to use it.
6:43
Misty Celli: It's when your time and day fills with everyone else's needs before your own ever makes it onto the schedule.
6:49
Misty Celli: What matters to you lives in your head, not your week.
6:53
Misty Celli: It sounds like I'll cancel my appointment and get it scheduled for later when I have a moment.
6:58
Misty Celli: I know I really was going to start this today, but there is so much to do and I just don't have time.
7:05
Misty Celli: If you're constantly squeezing yourself in between obligations, your desires live in your head, not your calendar, and you can't remember the last time you planned something just for you that you actually stuck to.
7:17
Misty Celli: This is calendar creep.
7:19
Misty Celli: Your calendar is full and you keep moving your own priorities to tomorrow.
7:24
Misty Celli: You have ideas, dreams, and plans, but they never become structure.
7:28
Misty Celli: Calendar creep erases you by stealing your time.
7:32
Misty Celli: The permission loop is the pattern where you talk yourself out of the things you want.
7:38
Misty Celli: Permission loop is when you know what you want, you feel the pull, you see the possibilities, and then the voice says, Who do you think you are?
7:47
Misty Celli: Now is not the right time.
7:48
Misty Celli: You should wait until things calm down.
7:51
Misty Celli: Your family needs you more.
7:53
Misty Celli: So you put it back down.
7:54
Misty Celli: You wait for the right season.
7:57
Misty Celli: But then another month passes, another year of resolutions is copied over, and you look back and you see you've been copying your hopes and dreams and goals over for years.
8:07
Misty Celli: It feels like excitement that you immediately squash.
8:12
Misty Celli: You feel selfish for wanting anything, and you feel guilty for imagining a fuller, more vibrant you.
8:18
Misty Celli: You should already be that.
8:19
Misty Celli: You have a great life on paper.
8:21
Misty Celli: That's what your mind says.
8:23
Misty Celli: So you put your desire back on the shelf, you wait for the right season, you copy the same goals into a new planner every January, and you look back and realize you've been copying those same hopes and dreams and desires for years.
8:36
Misty Celli: Permission Loop erases you by convincing you to wait your life away.
8:41
Misty Celli: Sit with those for a second.
8:43
Misty Celli: Most women hear all three and feel some sort of version of themselves in each one, but usually one of them is louder than the other two.
8:51
Misty Celli: One of them is your pattern.
8:53
Misty Celli: I'm not just naming these to make you feel understood, though I hope you do.
8:57
Misty Celli: I'm naming them because each one of these problems blocks a specific exact thing you need.
9:02
Misty Celli: And once you see which one is yours, you'll know precisely where to start instead of guessing.
9:07
Misty Celli: Roll rush means you've never given yourself the minute it takes to actually see yourself clearly.
9:12
Misty Celli: So you can't discover who you are because you're never still long enough to look.
9:16
Misty Celli: You're living in reaction, not reflection.
9:19
Misty Celli: Calendar creep means even when you do know what matters to you, it never gets built into your actual week.
9:25
Misty Celli: So you can't design a life around it because it stays a thought instead of becoming a structure.
9:29
Misty Celli: Your desires never really make it onto the calendar.
9:32
Misty Celli: Permission loop means even when you know what you want and it's sitting right there in front of you, the old voice talks you out of moving.
9:40
Misty Celli: So you can't do the thing because you keep putting it back down.
9:43
Misty Celli: Your identity never gets embodied.
9:46
Misty Celli: Three patterns, three blocks.
9:48
Misty Celli: And here's the part that changes everything.
9:50
Misty Celli: Three matching phases undo them.
9:52
Misty Celli: That's the whole framework.
9:53
Misty Celli: So let me show you how.
9:55
Misty Celli: There are three phases to actually getting yourself back.
9:58
Misty Celli: And I want to be really clear, this isn't a secret.
10:00
Misty Celli: It's not complicated, it's just been missing or incomplete in almost everything you've tried before.
10:06
Misty Celli: Most women have been struggling through because they've been handed fragments, tips, habits, motivation, inspiration, or routines, but never the architecture that actually makes those pieces work.
10:17
Misty Celli: Discover, design, and do the 3D doctrine, the structured method a woman must move through for her to feel like herself again instead of performing a role.
10:26
Misty Celli: Live a life that reflects who she actually is instead of who she's expected to be, and become the woman she keeps imagining at 2 a.m.
10:33
Misty Celli: when she can't sleep.
10:34
Misty Celli: Discover, design, do.
10:36
Misty Celli: Not three separate projects or overwhelming tasks, but one pathway, the only pathway that gives you back the woman underneath the roles.
10:44
Misty Celli: The discover phase gives you yourself back.
10:47
Misty Celli: This is where you see yourself clearly.
10:49
Misty Celli: Your patterns, your truth, your desires, your worth, what you actually need that nobody's asked about in years, including yourself.
10:58
Misty Celli: This is the phase that gives you clarity, language, and self-recognition.
11:02
Misty Celli: If role rush is your pattern, this is the phase you've probably skipped entirely because you've never given yourself the minute it takes.
11:10
Misty Celli: But some of you have actually spent a lot of time here.
11:13
Misty Celli: You've done the journaling, the therapy, the self-reflection.
11:17
Misty Celli: And if that's you, I want you to hear this clearly.
11:19
Misty Celli: That work wasn't wasted.
11:21
Misty Celli: It just isn't the whole framework.
11:23
Misty Celli: Insight alone doesn't move you.
11:25
Misty Celli: Insight without structure becomes rumination.
11:28
Misty Celli: Insight without direction becomes overwhelm.
11:31
Misty Celli: Insight without identity becomes confusion.
11:34
Misty Celli: Discover gives you the truth, but truth alone isn't transformation.
11:39
Misty Celli: Truth needs a shape.
11:41
Misty Celli: That knowledge and truth has to go somewhere.
11:44
Misty Celli: Design is the phase that gives your identity a shape.
11:47
Misty Celli: This is where you take what you've discovered and intentionally shape it.
11:51
Misty Celli: Your standards, your boundaries, what you'll tolerate and what you won't.
11:56
Misty Celli: Who you're choosing to be on purpose instead of by default.
12:00
Misty Celli: This is the phase that gives you direction, structure, and identity authority.
12:04
Misty Celli: It restores the part of you that says, I choose who I am becoming.
12:08
Misty Celli: If calendar creep is your pattern, this is the phase that's been missing.
12:12
Misty Celli: You might even know some of what you've discovered about yourself, but it's never been built into an actual shape, an actual plan inside an actual week.
12:21
Misty Celli: And some of you have done a version of this too.
12:24
Misty Celli: You've made the vision board set the goals, but if it wasn't built on something true, you actually discovered about yourself.
12:30
Misty Celli: First, it was decorating a house with no foundation.
12:33
Misty Celli: That's why it didn't hold either.
12:35
Misty Celli: Design gives your truth a shape, but shape alone isn't transformation.
12:40
Misty Celli: Sheep shape needs embodiment.
12:43
Misty Celli: Do is the phase that makes your identity real.
12:46
Misty Celli: This is where identity becomes visible and embodied.
12:49
Misty Celli: The small, repeated, identity-aligned actions and boundaries that prove to you and to everyone watching who you've decided you are.
12:58
Misty Celli: This is the phase that gives you agency, confidence, and it restores the part of you that says, I live as the woman I've decided to be.
13:07
Misty Celli: If permission loop is your pattern, this is where you keep stalling.
13:11
Misty Celli: You know you've maybe even designed it, and then the moment comes to act and the old voice shows up and you put it back down.
13:18
Misty Celli: This is the phase everyone tries to start with.
13:21
Misty Celli: The habit trackers, the checklists, the 5 a.m.
13:23
Misty Celli: routines.
13:24
Misty Celli: And it's also the phase that collapses fastest because behavior without the first two underneath it has nothing to stand on.
13:31
Misty Celli: Do makes your identity visible, but visibility alone isn't transformation.
13:37
Misty Celli: Visibility needs foundation.
13:39
Misty Celli: Discover, design, do in that order because each one is standing on the other one before it.
13:45
Misty Celli: Skip discover and design has nothing true to be built from.
13:48
Misty Celli: Skip design and do has no shape to follow.
13:50
Misty Celli: Skip do and your identity never becomes real.
13:54
Misty Celli: This is why you've been stuck and your past attempts collapsed.
13:57
Misty Celli: This is why you felt lost, invisible, disconnected, overwhelmed, or numb.
14:01
Misty Celli: You weren't missing motivation.
14:03
Misty Celli: You were missing architecture.
14:05
Misty Celli: You weren't missing discipline.
14:07
Misty Celli: You were missing identity.
14:10
Misty Celli: You weren't missing effort.
14:11
Misty Celli: You were missing sequence.
14:13
Misty Celli: Discover gives you clarity.
14:15
Misty Celli: Design gives you direction.
14:18
Misty Celli: Do gives you embodiment.
14:20
Misty Celli: Together, they give you yourself.
14:22
Misty Celli: That's the whole complete framework.
14:24
Misty Celli: Not complicated.
14:25
Misty Celli: Just been missing pieces or in the wrong order and almost everything handed to you before now.
14:30
Misty Celli: Looking back, I can see seasons of my life where I was doing these phases separately.
14:35
Misty Celli: Discover without design, do without a foundation, long before I ever understood they were phases.
14:41
Misty Celli: And I want to tell you about the moment it all clicked for me, not as an idea, but as something I felt happen.
14:47
Misty Celli: There was a season of my life where I was doing all the right things.
14:51
Misty Celli: I was the errand runner, the planner, the snack maker, the four-course dinner chef.
14:56
Misty Celli: I was a logistics queen who made everything look effortless.
15:00
Misty Celli: On paper, I was a rock star, but inside, most nights, I was crying in the shower.
15:06
Misty Celli: My husband would pop his head in to ask where something was or what the plan was, and he would ask me if I'd been crying and I'd say, oh no, I just, I just got soap in my eyes.
15:15
Misty Celli: I didn't have a single boundary or a single thing that actually refueled me.
15:20
Misty Celli: My calendar was planned to the minute, and every conversation I had was logistics.
15:25
Misty Celli: I'd fused so completely to the roles that my actions had nothing to do with who I was, only to what needed to be done.
15:33
Misty Celli: And I slowly started becoming irritated, snapping at the people I loved most, not because they'd done anything wrong, but because there was no actual woman left in the mix to bring anything else to the moment.
15:43
Misty Celli: I was annoyed instead of present, doing everything except being my whole self.
15:48
Misty Celli: That was due running all by itself with nothing underneath it.
15:51
Misty Celli: A few years later, I found myself in that same roll rush cycle, doing all the right things, except this time a dream I'd carried for 20 years resurfaced out of nowhere.
16:01
Misty Celli: I had taken a part-time assistant job with a real estate group, and for the first time in years, I felt a spark.
16:07
Misty Celli: Maybe I could get my license and I could build something that was mine.
16:11
Misty Celli: And right behind it came that old voice.
16:13
Misty Celli: Wait until things settle down.
16:14
Misty Celli: The kids need you right now.
16:16
Misty Celli: Don't be selfish.
16:17
Misty Celli: You're ridiculous for even thinking this.
16:20
Misty Celli: Permission loop, calendar creep, and roll rush.
16:23
Misty Celli: All three working together.
16:25
Misty Celli: I remember the exact moment everything changed.
16:29
Misty Celli: It was a sunny day in Texas, and I was driving to a real estate appointment.
16:32
Misty Celli: I had done it, I had gotten my license, and I had become the real estate agent I had dreamed of for over 20 years.
16:38
Misty Celli: And as I drove, I found myself thinking back to a woman who once sat in a restaurant booth wondering if anyone would ever notice if she disappeared.
16:46
Misty Celli: The woman cried as she stared at the beautiful blonde in the Mercedes, convinced she was too late, too past her time and used up to ever fully become who she wanted to be.
16:55
Misty Celli: The woman who had ridden so many emotional roller coasters over the years, trying so hard, but feeling so lost and driving, right then, I realized I could actually remember what it felt like to be myself again.
17:07
Misty Celli: Not managing or performing, but just there.
17:10
Misty Celli: A woman with a good life, not just on paper, but in her heart, mind, and soul.
17:15
Misty Celli: A woman who felt like herself again, and a woman who liked herself again.
17:19
Misty Celli: A woman who knew she was giving her family the best version of her because she had finally had access to herself.
18:06
Misty Celli: And at that moment, my heart broke.
18:09
Misty Celli: I realized I couldn't be the only woman who had felt lost.
18:13
Misty Celli: I wasn't the only woman who had felt numb where love and joy should be.
18:17
Misty Celli: I wasn't the only woman whose mind said, you're grateful, but whose body said, I'm exhausted.
18:22
Misty Celli: I wasn't the only woman lying awake next to someone she loved feeling disconnected, not because of him, but because of the emptiness inside of herself.
18:30
Misty Celli: I wasn't the only woman who had pushed her own knees aside in the name of love, obligation, and being the best.
18:36
Misty Celli: And I wasn't the only woman who had believed the lie that being a good mother meant being a self-sacrificing machine.
18:42
Misty Celli: But the truth I realized was this: I am a woman, not a machine, not a service provider, or a tool to be used and then set aside.
18:50
Misty Celli: And neither are you.
18:52
Misty Celli: Your kids need the woman inside the mother.
18:55
Misty Celli: Your husband needs the woman inside the support system.
18:58
Misty Celli: You need the woman inside the superhero costume.
19:01
Misty Celli: And the world doesn't need another programmable operator.
19:05
Misty Celli: It needs you, your voice, your ideas and passions and identity.
19:10
Misty Celli: That day was full of driving in Texas sunshine, and it gave me space to think through my entire journey.
19:16
Misty Celli: I realized I had been discovering for years, naming my truth, my patterns and desires, but without design, it never became a life.
19:25
Misty Celli: I realized I had been designing at times, where I set goals and making plans, but without discover, it wasn't built on anything true.
19:33
Misty Celli: And I realized I had been doing a lot of doing habits, routines, checklists, but without the first two phases, they collapsed every time.
19:42
Misty Celli: Discover, design, do.
19:45
Misty Celli: I saw the whole framework.
19:46
Misty Celli: I saw why I had been stuck, and I saw why everything had felt so hard.
19:51
Misty Celli: And I saw how it all fit together.
19:53
Misty Celli: That's when it hit me.
19:54
Misty Celli: I hadn't been missing discipline this whole time.
19:57
Misty Celli: I had been missing architecture.
19:59
Misty Celli: I had spent years trying to build a life of somebody else's blueprint, pasted on top of pieces of my own, like two different recipes stuck together.
20:07
Misty Celli: So when you finally pull it out of the oven, none of it holds.
20:11
Misty Celli: It was never going to work.
20:12
Misty Celli: Not because I wasn't trying hard enough, but because I had never had one complete plan to follow in the first place that was mine.
20:20
Misty Celli: That's the whole thing this episode is built on.
20:23
Misty Celli: I wasn't broken.
20:24
Misty Celli: I wasn't incomplete.
20:26
Misty Celli: And the moment that I could see the actual shape of what was missing, I could finally go build it on purpose instead of hoping the next round of effort would somehow be the one that stopped.
20:36
Misty Celli: I know what might be sitting with you right now.
20:39
Misty Celli: Three phases.
20:39
Misty Celli: Holy cow, Misty, that sounds like a lot.
20:42
Misty Celli: Here's something that might surprise you though.
20:44
Misty Celli: You're already doing all three.
20:46
Misty Celli: You're just doing them out of order, which is exactly why it feels like too much.
20:50
Misty Celli: You're discovering things about yourself by accident in the car, the shower, and the moment you catch yourself whispering, I don't even feel like myself.
20:57
Misty Celli: You're designing by accident too.
20:59
Misty Celli: Every time you make a plan or a picture of a version of a life that isn't the one you're currently living.
21:04
Misty Celli: And you're doing by accident every time you try a new habit or routine, hoping this will finally be the one that sticks.
21:11
Misty Celli: You're not overwhelmed because there are three phases.
21:13
Misty Celli: You're overwhelmed because you've been trying to live all three at once with no architecture underneath holding them together.
21:20
Misty Celli: This isn't three separate projects.
21:22
Misty Celli: It's one path.
21:23
Misty Celli: You don't have to hold all three today or master all three or fix all three right now.
21:29
Misty Celli: You just have to know which one you're actually standing in.
21:32
Misty Celli: Because once you know that, the energy you've been pouring into do finally has somewhere to reel to go.
21:39
Misty Celli: Back into discover.
21:40
Misty Celli: The discipline you keep trying to force and design stops being the fight because you're not missing willpower there.
21:46
Misty Celli: You're missing ground to build on.
21:48
Misty Celli: And collapse stops feeling like proof something's wrong with you.
21:52
Misty Celli: It just means the order was off, not you.
21:55
Misty Celli: That single piece of clarity, just knowing your face, is enough to keep you from living with exhaustion, guilt, and through the same collapse a fourth time, a fifth time, however many times you've already lived it.
22:07
Misty Celli: This is the thing that gives you back your time, your clarity, your energy, your identity.
22:14
Misty Celli: Three phases isn't a lot to carry.
22:17
Misty Celli: It's just the map you've been missing.
22:19
Misty Celli: You know that Pinterest board, the one with the warm cup of coffee held in the hands of a woman with a quiet smile, radiating peaceful presence as the morning light cascades through the window, the candle flickering, her snuggled in a robe, journaling about her day with such ease and assurance of what she had accomplished.
22:38
Misty Celli: You've pinned them.
22:40
Misty Celli: More than once.
22:41
Misty Celli: And somewhere on Instagram, there's a woman whose whole first hour of the day is just hers, protected, unhurried, and you've scrolled past it and felt something sharp and specific.
22:51
Misty Celli: Not quite envy, but closer to grief.
22:54
Misty Celli: Some part of you longs to know what that actually feels like.
22:58
Misty Celli: But here's the thing that morning isn't a fantasy.
23:01
Misty Celli: And it isn't only available to women with different circumstances than yours.
23:06
Misty Celli: It's what a Tuesday actually looks like once all three pieces are in place instead of scattered.
23:11
Misty Celli: It's available to you now, not someday, not once things settle down.
23:15
Misty Celli: You wake no longer bracing for the day before it even starts.
23:20
Misty Celli: Before you tackle anyone else's needs.
23:22
Misty Celli: You're sitting somewhere quiet with something warm in your hands, setting the intention of the woman you're going to be that day.
23:28
Misty Celli: The life you've designed, the day you've planned.
23:32
Misty Celli: Not because you finally found the discipline to wake up early, but because you built a boundary around that hour on purpose and it holds the same way the boundaries you keep for everyone else hold.
23:42
Misty Celli: You know something true about yourself in that moment.
23:45
Misty Celli: Not a guess, not a hope you're chasing, an actual answer you discovered sitting right there with you, the way a fact does.
23:53
Misty Celli: That time is how you show up fully presently as your utmost self.
23:57
Misty Celli: It's vital and it's yours.
23:59
Misty Celli: Later that day, there's a block of time carved out that's yours too.
24:03
Misty Celli: Maybe it's small, maybe it's 45 minutes, but it's not aspirational anymore.
24:08
Misty Celli: Not a someday you keep almost getting to, it's real.
24:12
Misty Celli: It's on the calendar.
24:13
Misty Celli: And when the moment comes to actually use it, the old voice might still show up right on schedule asking, who do you think you are?
24:21
Misty Celli: It probably always will, but it doesn't win this time because you're not that invisible mama white knuckling her way through willpower anymore.
24:29
Misty Celli: You're acting from something you already know is true about who you are.
24:33
Misty Celli: And that's a completely different kind of strength.
24:36
Misty Celli: The kind that doesn't run out by 3 p.m.
24:38
Misty Celli: You're no longer a support character performing your life anymore.
24:42
Misty Celli: You're living it.
24:43
Misty Celli: And your family feels the difference, not because you're doing more, but because you're finally you again.
24:49
Misty Celli: You walk into rooms with clarity and speak without apologizing.
24:53
Misty Celli: That night, you're not lying awake at 2 a.m.
24:56
Misty Celli: mentally rebuilding a life you can't quite picture yet, running the math on how you'd ever make it fit.
25:02
Misty Celli: You're just asleep, secure in who you were that day, what you accomplished and what you've designed for the days ahead.
25:09
Misty Celli: Not because they were perfect, but because you're the woman who shows up fully now, aligned and connected to her own identity and plan.
25:16
Misty Celli: That's not three more things to manage.
25:18
Misty Celli: That's not a Hinterest board you're still pinning to.
25:21
Misty Celli: That's one woman finally standing on solid foundation inside the life you designed and built.
25:27
Misty Celli: At the beginning of this episode, I promised you three things.
25:30
Misty Celli: I promised you to understand why I've lost myself is a dangerous lie.
25:35
Misty Celli: You'd see the whole framework and you'd walk away with one clear first step.
25:39
Misty Celli: So let's close the loop starting with the lie itself.
25:42
Misty Celli: I've lost myself.
25:43
Misty Celli: Feels honest and accurate, but it's a dangerous lie because you think you're lost.
25:49
Misty Celli: You assume you need to be found and you start searching everywhere except the actual place she is.
25:54
Misty Celli: You look for a new habit, a new planner, a new version of you entirely, but you're not gone.
26:00
Misty Celli: You're disconnected.
26:02
Misty Celli: And disconnection asks for reconnection, not reinvention.
26:05
Misty Celli: That's a completely different job than the one lost sends you off to do.
26:10
Misty Celli: It also makes you believe you're the problem.
26:12
Misty Celli: It makes the exhaustion sound like a character fall, like you weren't disciplined enough or weren't intentional enough to hold on to yourself, but you didn't lose access to yourself because you were weak.
26:24
Misty Celli: You loved so fiercely and set yourself aside because you were needed constantly by people you love in ways that don't leave room for much else.
26:32
Misty Celli: That's not a flaw.
26:34
Misty Celli: That's the actual cost of everything you've been carrying.
26:37
Misty Celli: I've lost myself as you chasing surface-level solutions to the shopping, the spending, the hours of scrolling that promise relief and never quite deliver it.
26:47
Misty Celli: Solutions that cost you time and money and leave you feeling even more empty, alone, and broken than you were when you started.
26:54
Misty Celli: And lost keeps you stuck in a story that's passive and a little hopeless, waiting to be rescued by time or circumstances or a better season that never quite arrives.
27:04
Misty Celli: You didn't disappear.
27:06
Misty Celli: You didn't dissolve into the past.
27:08
Misty Celli: You didn't lose the music.
27:10
Misty Celli: You took your own earbuds out so you could hear everyone else more clearly.
27:15
Misty Celli: And somewhere in all of that listening, the volume on your own story got turned down so low you stopped noticing it was still playing.
27:22
Misty Celli: Turned down is fixable.
27:24
Misty Celli: Lost feels permanent, final, like the outcomes already decided.
27:28
Misty Celli: Those are two completely different sentences to be living inside of.
27:33
Misty Celli: So here's the truth, and it's the whole reason today matters.
27:36
Misty Celli: You didn't lose yourself.
27:38
Misty Celli: You lost access to hearing yourself, and your song can be heard again by putting just one earbud back in.
27:46
Misty Celli: You now know the three patterns doing the erasing: the roll rush, the calendar creep, the permission loop, not as flaws in you, but as shapes you can finally recognize on site.
27:56
Misty Celli: You know the three phases that rebuild access.
27:59
Misty Celli: Discover, design, do.
28:01
Misty Celli: Not as pressure, but as architecture that makes the rest of your life make sense.
28:06
Misty Celli: That's not lost.
28:07
Misty Celli: That's precise, and precise problems are solvable.
28:11
Misty Celli: So here's your first step.
28:12
Misty Celli: Go to yourutmost.com forward slash starter and get the identity reset starter toolkit.
28:20
Misty Celli: It walks you straight into Discover.
28:22
Misty Celli: The very first phase, the one most of you've been skipping, and the one everyone needs to start with.
28:28
Misty Celli: I'll walk you through your first three words and your first draft of your identity blueprint.
28:34
Misty Celli: The language that gives you back your day, that's genuinely all it takes to begin.
28:38
Misty Celli: Ground yourself in truth.
28:40
Misty Celli: Say this with me.
28:41
Misty Celli: I didn't lose myself.
28:43
Misty Celli: I lost access to hearing myself.
28:45
Misty Celli: And today, I start turning the volume back up.
28:48
Misty Celli: If this episode gave you language you didn't have before, leave a review.
28:52
Misty Celli: It's how the next woman finds the show.
28:54
Misty Celli: And if you just realize which pattern is yours, send this episode to a friend who needs the same words.
29:00
Misty Celli: Next week, we continue the series and we're talking about why you don't actually have a time issue or a calendar problem.
29:06
Misty Celli: Plus, the one thing that will actually get you more time.
29:10
Misty Celli: If you've ever felt like there isn't enough time in the day to get things done that you want for yourself, you're going to want to hear this one.
29:17
Misty Celli: I don't have time for this right now is hiding something you haven't looked at yet.
29:22
Misty Celli: And remember, you are more than everyone's everything.
29:27
Misty Celli: You are someone.