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Transcript

Type B Without Shame · The Habit Lab

• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So join me, Jenna Zint, habit coach, teacher, and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Habit Lab.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I am Jenna Zint.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is about being type B.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I was uh I was giggling.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I kind of sometimes when I my type B-ness flares, I used to feel probably like flooded with sh shame and contempt and on this journey that I've been going to.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten to the point where now I I just try to be a little tender.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when there's a direct consequence for my type B ness, I think, oh, bless my sweet, sweet little type B brain's heart.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you guys are familiar with that idea of bless your little heart when you do it from like the southern women who are like maybe tongue-in-cheek empathy.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I don't do it in that sense.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: It just has made me endear myself to my type B brain.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of is the general message of this podcast.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, oh yeah.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk about those of you who are listening, whether it's me, you're married to someone with a type B brain, you are type B brain.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about their sweet, sweet type B brains heart.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna bless them today.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the main premise is actually trying to stop trying to make your brain work like someone else's.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've listened for a while, you know that I've openly talked about getting diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and how helpful that was for me.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think if you've been here, I actually like cried afterwards.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor was like, We were probably 15 minutes in and I'd finished some, I think it was a bunch of written things up front.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And as he's looking through my answers, I was like, So do you think I have it?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he literally burst into laughter and he's like, Oh, yeah, I could tell you you had it when you walked in or scheduled the when we did the like 10-minute consult.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, okay.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then we chatted a bit, but uh afterwards, like I said, I cried because I was like, wow.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for this episode specifically, I've decided to zoom out and use the phrase type B because I am not an ADHD expert.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not here to tell you whether you have ADHD.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not here to tell you you should get diagnosed, take medicine.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on my own journey with those questions, and I would love for you to go on your journey with yourself if you think you need more definition.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it presents type B can present very different for, well, ADHD can present different for different people.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why outside of being an expert, I'm not gonna, I have my own experience only that I could speak to.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna zoom more out for this conversation and just talk about type B people.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've heard the concept, we're all pretty familiar for the last couple decades with type A.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And more recently, um, there's been a joke reference to type B people who are just clearly not type A.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So some of the other verbiage around this is maybe some for those of you who are listening, you know, like I said, don't have an ADHD diagnosis, you're not thinking that way.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe you've called yourself like really laid back or super chill, or maybe you're creative but scattered, or this would make me laugh.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe time feels slightly theoretical to you.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe you're really spontaneous.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Most likely you're probably great in crisis and terrible sometimes, not terrible, I shouldn't say that, but like it's a challenge to remember something that's happening next Thursday, or when someone you commit to something next Thursday asking, can you remind me the day before?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Even though it's in my calendar, maybe you spent your life looking to people who seem instinctively good at this.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd say type A, even if you haven't purposely or articulated your comparison, but looking at our life and our natural skills compared to those type A who are instinctively feel like they understand calendars or enjoy rhythm or see the benefits of organizing things or can understand time and manage it.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you just like I actually remember thinking, like, how are you doing that?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's so sorry, I'm giggling to myself, but I married a husband who is more type A leaning with how his brain wired.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it was shocking that he could go in the garage and do 45 minutes of an organization, and at the garage, you could tell the tool, you know, the tools were put back, you could tell he did the work, and it's like kind of evenly distributed effort.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Where if I go to the garage for 45 minutes, I truly, y'all, ended up at one point alphabetizing his DVD collection.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I spent all the 45 minutes doing that.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or I remember one time in um my childhood, we were supposed to do 45 minutes of um what's it called, yard work, and I just perfectly trimmed one bush.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll never forget.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was like I was giving it a haircut.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: The level of attention I gave my mom came out and she was so bad.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, thought I could have raked the whole front yard, at least one portion of the front yard, and here I am perfectly meticulously trimming one bush.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've ever compared yourself to other people with type A, um you understand.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, how does your how do you brain make your brain not do that?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: How does it, how are you not fighting that internally?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So again, episode not about do you have ADHD?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you not?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is just too nuanced.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're zooming out and saying, okay, you know yourself.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know you're not wired type A.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: How do you steward yourself well then?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that would be the premise of this episode.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, how knowing that you are wired differently, and we're gonna talk about dropping the mindset or the labels around broken.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not broken, you are wired differently.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, how do you steward that unique wiring well?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think one, I heard this great line from a friend who works with people and helps them understand their personality type.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So nothing to do with type B, but I loved her line.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So shout out to Tiffany Williams.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: She said something to the effect of knowing the way you're wired should never become a shield or a sword.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, that is so good.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it shouldn't become a shield.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like you being type B.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: A shield would be that's just how I am.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not type A.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have ADHD.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can't help it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is how, you know, like this is what it is.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think there's a level of oftentimes if you get to acceptance, it's almost like a hopelessness.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of it's like sometimes I'll speak to me, giving up because I didn't think it was possible to be better or different.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it kind of shielded it so that I wouldn't feel the sting of feeling less than, but then it was almost like a complacent hopelessness, really, if I looked at those things.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's the shield half of it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: But now understanding, so now looking at it instead of thinking of your type B-ness and trying to shield yourself from feeling that way, actually self-understanding, like, hey, I am wired differently, doesn't become an excuse not to grow.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then the flip side of it not becoming a sword of like, why can't I do this?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, literally, I remember being like comparing myself to other friends' kids who regularly made the bed.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Kai makes this bed and he's 12.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with me?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Normal adults can handle this kind of stuff.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm irresponsible, I'm lazy, whatever.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that would be the sword portion of understanding how you're wired.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: The third option is treating it like information, not a lid, nor you know, a cross you're dying on, but the third option of like, oh, my brain works this way.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do to build around how I'm wiring?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Again, like stewarding yourself.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it's been such a game changer for me to like go from one extreme to the other to the middle of like, okay, so Aaron systems don't work for me.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: What systems do work for me?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let's figure that out.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I also, like I said, I'm gonna pause for a minute to dig into this idea of your brain, your type B brain, is not defective, it's different.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna say that again.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I actually that was part of why I cr my personal perception.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna specifically spoke speak for a minute with ADHD, with the getting the diagnosis.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was like a oh realizing that what I had, some of the attributes that I had said were character flaws that I struggled with, like again, aspects about me, lazy, irresponsible, you know, character flaws.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now it was like all of a sudden this light bulb of like, oh my gosh, my brain is different.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally wired differently.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm not broken, I'm different.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: But me saying that I'm lazy, irresponsible, disciplined, forgetful, too much, scattered, bad at adulting, ooh, those y'all, those are not helpful.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Those aren't explanations um of my defectiveness or my character lacking.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: They were actually like, it was just meaner.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was not accurate, it was meaner.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of being like, hey, I don't organize things naturally like other people do, what is unhelpful and mean would be it's because I'm lazy or it's because I'm undisciplined.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like that, do you see how it crosses the logistics to then character attack?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, I so I went for my first step in and going on the journey of working with myself with a type B brain was to not label my difference as defective.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's just different.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is okay that I'm different.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think for a little while after learning about how my brain works, I thought, great, and now I know I why I struggle with this.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can fix it and I can become more like Aaron.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I remember actually being like, okay, show me.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was, gosh, I can't remember if his budging technique or because he's an Excel man.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like his Excel sheets have like 12,000 tabs.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's insane in there.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like these it's like calculus in Excel, is kind of what he does.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember him showing me either our budget because I was gonna maybe try to take it over, or um how he manages his time, because I was like, okay, I have ADHD, I know it now, you know, I'm going on this journey.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Show me how you how you do it.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm ready.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like I see the value for dialing in some of these systems.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he showed me, I was like, nope, nope.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's just I've actually felt flooded with overwhelmed at first and then realizing, like, oh, I am not gonna be able to copy and paste his systems into my life and expect them to work.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that it they won't work, not because I am flawed with character.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Again, not broken, not defective, I'm just different.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So expecting this the systems that work for him to work for me is like setting myself up to fail.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be like when your kiddos trying to learn to bike ride a bike, we actually made the mistake a couple times with having too big of bikes for them, and we didn't realize how hard it was until a friend actually let us borrow.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Poor Rosie ended up borrowing a boy bike, even though she had this epically girl feminine bike that we didn't realize was a couple inches too big.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: She gets on the hand-me-down boy bike and takes off cruising.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we didn't realize because we had given her a tool that was beyond her capabilities.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm just saying with the type B and type A people is you can't, it is okay.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not broken.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Rosie's not slow, she's not lazy.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: The tool was unhelpful for her body to be able to pick up this skill.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So my thought would be for you do not try to pick up type A people's systems or skill set or or or even try to adapt some of their methodology.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like get a tool that works for you, build it backwards.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be pretty.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Some of my systems, like even my laundry system, I do laundry daily, but I don't put it away until one big chunk.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because what is super hard for me is putting away laundry on a regular basis.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can I get it 80%, uh say 90% finished, but there's these rogue pile of socks or those towels that no one ever put away.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's if I do it more often than once a week, those piles just live on.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it was actually more chaotic.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: So then instead of me trying to be like type A people who are really on top of their laundry, do it this way.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is the right way.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, actually, if I do my laundry once a week, I only have one 10% undone this that I have to deal with.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I can manage that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: The flip side, the not pretty part of it is that our clothes are more wrinkled.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I do a little bit more ironing.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: But for my brain, that is actually a better option for success than me trying to copy my friend who's type A and does a load and puts it fully away every day.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, oh, okay, no problem.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need, I'm not broken, but I am different.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: So what does it look like to work with my differences?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the best analogy that I've been thinking about recently, um, because I was processing with the Lord of like, okay, I don't think of it, I don't think of ADHD or type B ness as broken anymore.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think of it like, um, gosh, do you guys remember left-handedness?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have you ever learned about the history of being right-handed or left-handed and how they used to deal, like how society used to feel about this and how they used to treat it in the classroom?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So there was a time when like left-handed children were literally forced to learn to write with their right hands.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And now basically we're like, oh, you know, because actually I don't even remember.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I remember reading some things, but I didn't don't think I pulled them in this.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: But they either the teachers would slap their hands until they could do things with their right hand, or parents would be embarrassed and be like, don't do that in public.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was this literal taboo of unspoken, you're broken.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't show anyone else your brokenness.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: But now in the classroom in life, in the world, like if we find out someone's left-handed, we're like, oh, okay, well, here's a pair of left-handed scissors, or which desk would be easier for you to sit at?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you want to swap me seat?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like anything like that.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: We don't say, Oh, you're left-handed.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Have you tried harder to be right-handed?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get the analogy?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: This would be the f to put it on.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be like saying, Oh, you're typed B, type B.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Have you tried harder to be right or type A?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but we do.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: We actually kind of still in our society have this little bit of a um remnant of a thought process around that.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so the point is not to try to be right-handed.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: We recognize that most things happen to be designed around the majority.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: So occasionally people who operate differently need different tools.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, like left-handed people needing different tools, or type B brains needing different tools.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really helped me think of my typing brain.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not my way is better, not my way has no cost, not their way is the way, the truth, and the light.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But different doesn't automatically mean defective.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: My systems, my brain, my way, but I'm also not going to have it be an excuse to not grow.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to have a path to grow that works for who I actually am.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the reality is different does have a gos cost.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's important because working with my brain doesn't mean everyone else has to absorb the consequences of how my brain works.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the shield again.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like the this how I am, deal with it.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: You, you know, like I forget things, I we're late, all the things.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's not a lack of empathy.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've watched some people who are more type B-leaning being like, well, you know who I am.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, either take me or leave me.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what is it?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Love me or leave me.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's the expression versus okay, that's the shield again.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's interesting because in my own life, the cost of being different, August was a great example for us.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: We just finished August.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, technically it's the 31st of August, September starts, and August was like rough for my brain, y'all.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was having sleep struggles and there were stretches that like truly it felt like at two, after two or three p.m.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't make sentences.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: They would ask me questions and I'd go, ugh, like it was it was way worse than normal with the lack of sleep.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, praise the Lord.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I am working on solving some of the sleep issues.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: And for my fellow menopausal, no, what is it, perimenopausal women.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: When I when I crack the code with what's happening with my hormones in sleep, I'll keep you posted.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I digress about the type B brainedness.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: There were a lot of misses for me in August, especially around our calendar.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had to apologize for Aaron.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: I can think of like four or five times where I caught myself and I was like, oh, I'm a one time I was walking him out.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I texted him a bunch because someone had come that he was supposed to meet.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then as he's stressed and just arriving and giving them the tour, I'm leaving.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I on the driveway, he was like, Where are you going?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this look in his eyes.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, I didn't tell him about my small group that it got rescheduled.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he doesn't know that the kids aren't fed, you know, like that it was his job to, oh, this is surprise.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what started as me being annoyed that he was a little late, I was like, oh, this is now a really big deal.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And there's gonna have costs because I forgot him this, I forgot to tell him that, I didn't plan ahead for this.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so there's probably like six of those pretty pointed misses from Jenna that I are sticking out to me when I think back about our month.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it costs something, like it relationally being different.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I don't have is not uh empathy, like I didn't shame spiral, but I was like, ooh, this was sloppy.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not an like this, we have upgraded from here.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Where, you know, why is this happening?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when there's misses around the calendar, I have like I apologize to Aaron way too many times.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oops, surprise we have this tonight.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oops, surprise, I'm I'm not gonna be here.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oops, surprise.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you have to get the kids, like give the kids a ride.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oops, surprise, I committed uh to us this thing.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Can you get in the car?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he honestly, Aaron is an incredibly gracious and patient man.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I know he's annoyed, I can tell it in his body.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: That would be one thing I would say for type B people.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, again, being aware there's a cost.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't he is his self-control loving me well is he doesn't usually open his mouth, but I can tell visibly he's annoyed or the cost impacts him.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: But when he doesn't say something or like pushes the needle in or, you know, pushes the point, I'm able to not partner with shame and be defensive and point out, you know, like, well, you could, if you had been home on time for dinner, X, Y, Z, which I watch people with type B with pain and scheduling do, um, defensive, and then it becomes then this the other spouse is like, this is about your miss, and it becomes this whole fight about the miss.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but when Aaron keeps his mouth shut, even though he is annoyed, I can tell he's annoyed at me, I register that as love and a gift that he's managing himself.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then it enables me when I do have a little bit more self-control, or I'm not thinking defensively about how I'm not the only bad guy here or the only one who made a mistake today.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can just own and apologize, like, hey, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you about this.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I am late.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: We'll talk about it when we get back, but I'm sorry for the impact.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's usually that's my like real succinct type B apologize apology is I'm so sorry that I forgot to tell you about this.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know that it impacts you a bunch.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I feel bad for the cost you're having to pay.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: That is it.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not the fullness, it's not me weeping, it's not me like, hey, I'm gonna cancel it.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not Aaron being like, babe, no problem.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: You do it.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I wanna support you in your vulnerability and connection at small group because it makes our marriage better.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: He's just he sometimes curtly nods, and that is self-control and the high, like the most that we both have to give in those moments.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I think um, unless we're aware of our differences and when it does get a smidge sloppy, we can't own our impact.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I say.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's just my phrase for me.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna shame spiral, but I will own my impact.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um because the reality is when those things get missed or bumbled, like when my type beamess is like whoops, oops, ta-da, surprise.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: The annoying part of having a you know impact on him is he has a job, he has plans, he has preferences, he gets tired, he has a life, and nobody enjoys having their day hijacked by someone else's plans they didn't agree to, or maybe they didn't rem like or told about, or I put in my calendar but forgot to send him a calendar invite, or you know, let's be real.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we did tell our spouse about it, but they don't have any memory of the conversation.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just still not enjoyable.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: But giving him having grace for a reaction and then me having not shame spiraling, but giving him, you know, a dollar's worth of an apology because I do recognize that my oops in my type B ness just impacted you.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so fast forward, that was August.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: So then September this morning, so like I said, end of the month, and I have a little recurring event to remind me to plan my monthly calendar.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting down breakfast before, like probably about 45 minutes ago, and I'm planning, I'm writing out, I'm going from my phone to our paper calendar in our fridge, um, what are what's happening?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Appointments, school things, trips, kids stuff, um, classes we're teaching.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as I'm doing this, y'all, this is not, this is absolutely true.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: I could feel my anxiousness starting to dissipate.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: It literally, I almost felt like the tide receding or something like coming slightly down.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was not this like off on switch, but I was like, what's happening?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, I can see the month when it's like this.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like one of the things they talk about with ADHD or is that uh time is harder for our brains to grasp.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: It almost reminds me of like it feels theoretical to us.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: So there's some habits that I've started to do that actually help it feel concrete to me in a way that I can manage.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And writing my calendar out, even though it's in my phone, is one of those huge ways.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I could see I it's like all of a sudden, as I'm like a couple weeks in, I think I got through like the 20th of September, I could see my month.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I understood my month.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I saw the like high points of like, oh, that's a lot.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that weekend, or oh, the low weekends, or like, oh, I I felt like I owned our rhythms for September, like what are September shaping up to be.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: I caught a couple things, I was like, ooh, I forgot about that.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I literally unbiddenly, this is not, this is very true, start sending text about Aaron, like, hey, just a reminder, two Mondays from now we said this, or have we confirmed?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Blah, blah, blah.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I started seeing things like, oh, he's out of town on that Tuesday.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm probably gonna need to see if he needs me to take kids to school.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then as these puzzle pieces are kind of like fitting together and I'm getting hold of like 17 disconnected things that have been stored kind of like open tabs in my brain.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was like settling.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: It was like making a whole complete picture, which would be our September.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's shocking how much I'm like, oh yeah, this is what my brain works different, but I need this piece.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have learned this is how I help.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: I am different, but not broken.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this is essential actually to helping how I'm wired click in a way that I don't miss balls.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't drop things as much.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: That is part of the pain points of August don't happen when I take the 15 minutes.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the shocking part, like I said, truly, it was about 15 minutes.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when I finished, you know, I got through the 20th before I had to switch gears with September.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have to literally paper tear off the month before if you're writing on the next month.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I pick up the August to throw it in the trash and I realize this is so hilarious.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: That the first, I'm gonna put a, I'm gonna post this somewhere so you guys see because it feels like I'm making this up.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the first three weeks of August, I didn't write anything.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think maybe Rosie or Audrey wrote a few things.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then it just clicked.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my gosh, I never did this for August, which makes sense.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: My time management habits are purposely um decreased for the summer to be a little bit more connection-oriented than efficiency-oriented.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I still do this because it helps.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it was this like light bulb moment where I was like, this explains so much.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I had less sleep and I'm struggling with sleep.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I never did this habit that supports my different brain in a way.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it splashed all over our family.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, this is if I had invested 15, 20 minutes in the beginning of August, oh my gosh, could this August the last couple of weeks have looked so different and so much less, less pain points?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of when one of my biggest uh takeaways with working with your type B brain is actually noticing one of the most common things that I feel outside of cleanly like a cleaner cleanliness or tidiness would be time management.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what I want to talk to, which I think I really haven't heard a ton of other people talk to, is the awareness of how much time management when you're in a family, when you're in a marriage or whatever friend group is relational.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: The impact, it's like a ripple effect of your ability or not ability to manage your time.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: If there's a piece, this is the piece I think we actually like really miss.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: We think I think we tend to think about time management about as productivity.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Productivity, like getting more done, being efficient, being organized.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, of course, that really does help.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the greatest pains of my type B brain tendencies over the last years isn't that I didn't accomplish a lot, like I actually have multiple businesses I've done a lot, but it's been the relational pain from forgetting something that mattered to someone to overcommitting and now everyone's scrambling to overcommitting and now needing to cancel.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, didn't communicate clearly, didn't communicate in enough notice to know if people wanted to actually do that in my family versus just my mom's idea.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was late, I double booked, I forgot to arrange rides, kids, kids were left longer.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Aaron had to leave work, um, surprise, different things.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: I said yes so often, thinking about how, not on purpose, I actually try to think through how it affects the other people in my life, but unless I do this physical time habit, some of my time habits, it I can't I miss it.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I uh the part of my apology and frustration in August with Aaron was like, I am trying to think ahead and think how this impacts you.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to be callous, like I'm not the gen I was 10 years ago, but when I think in the moment, I miss these obvious ripple effects.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: But time management is so relational because it affects my husband, my ability, my type B brain's ability or unability or skills or habits around this subject absolutely affect my husband, my kids, my friends, my parents, anyone who shares life with me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's one of the things that shocked me the most as I've gotten better.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's the best kept secret slash most surprising.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you serious?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: As I've gotten better at time management, how increased how some this sounds so funny, how some really boring logistical habits of time management, time habits have majorly decreased relent relational tension in my life.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say it again.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I've been shocked as I gotten better at time management is realizing I actually it's specifically for me, it's three logistical habits around my time.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: They're all time.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: One's a week, one's my daily time management habit, one's my weekly, and one's my monthly, have majorly decreased relent relational tension in my life, which I would not have said.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you had told me to go after, hey, your job's to pick some habits that'll re decrease relational tension.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Time manage, I'd be like, that's a weird one.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: If someone had suggested it to me, I'd be like, that doesn't make sense.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm gonna go read with my children.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm gonna go, you know, give my husband more words of affirmation, whatever.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I was shocked.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it is not because I became magically type A.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just I got more familiar with my own life.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: I built a system and structures that work for me.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I started learning how to hold my schedule somewhere beside my sweet, sweet little brain who really kind of you give them pieces and it doesn't matter if they have the best heart intention to remember.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: They drop a piece or they just shake, you put them in order, and then the puts, I always tease, it just feels like there's a grab bag in my brain where people give me something and it goes in.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, no, that was supposed to be the third thing on your list.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, I, I, it's a blind grab bag.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I throw pieces out.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: You put you put them in with such order and I just throw them out magically.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I learned how to like look ahead.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: I had to make things I learned how to make things that were invisible impacts and think and actually create a habit that made me think through the impact and double check references, like not references, but like locations and have I thought through my commute time.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my gosh, that doesn't make sense.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: I would have been late, and it wasn't because I wanted to be late or chose to be late.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just missed a really easy variable that even though I've said don't forget, my brain keep does.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think the shocking part is that actually probably one of the ways that I've been able to show up and love my family, or they felt less pain and felt more support would be my time management habits.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Said no one ever that I would have believed before going on this journey.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and really that's why I love talking about type B brains.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I you guys know that I have a time management class right now that's coming up.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I my point of all this, I don't need you to to do my course.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: I always am like hesitant when I do do an episode.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do do ho ho.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm five.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when I do an episode that does correlate to a course launch I'm doing, I want to give you value outside of being like feeling like one long infomercial.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but what I the reality is like you don't have to do my course to be like, wow, I haven't actually thought about dialing in some really basic type um time management habits that would help my B personality.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or what if I actually, instead of doing no edits for the messiness of my house or trying to copy my friend who's a type A's house like chore list, why don't I just try some midge of an upgrade for what actually I'm already doing or what my brain naturally wants to do?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's not a right answer or a wrong answer, or I give up.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what's an answer?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: My brain's not defective, it's just different.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: What does a system look like that could work with how my brain's wired?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next thing would be the I the awareness that so much of these little relunch relational pains, wherever they pop up with your typeiness with those that you love in your life, they could actually be so much simpler as an edit, a new habit.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a 10-minute habit, it could be a 15-minute habit.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of I kind of felt a little bit like my head dropped.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, when I realized I hadn't did did this for August, I was like, oh my gosh, I could have spent 15 minutes at the beginning of August and easy.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: I would, if I'm a betting woman, at least half of the misses and then the pains, relational pain, and the low-key arguments that Aaron and I had around time stuff or forgot would have been, would have been reduced or eliminated.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely would early August Jenna have been like worth the 15 minutes.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where's that calendar?
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it right now.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the goal is not to make you type A, it's to make you a better steward of your type B brain.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because if something as simple as putting a few pages on my refrigerator could decrease my anxiety, could decrease friction of my marriage, could help my kids know what's happening.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: Even that was huge.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: I finally got ahead of it.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this week, with their rhythms of what we had to do after school, they repeat them.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I'm making them, but it actually creates safety in them where they're not like mom's not surprised picking them up.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's a wild ride with Jenna as a mom.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: She might have cookies or she might say, Let's go, we have to go buy for Bernie Man because Uncle John's coming to town and he forgot 10 things from the grocery store.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: But instead of like they know now, there's like some safety and more responsibility that can happen when I use these habits to support them as well.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not because I think sometimes we think of time management, we think of it just like for the sake of productivity, let's get better.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I think of it as relational, I think it as stewardship, and I think of it as really learning my brain does not naturally hold time like that.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: So what can hold it for me versus I'm broken versus I'm the worst versus so what?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Deal with it.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, why don't we look at what could work?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I do think accommodation for how our brains are wired, like again, left-hand versus right-hand children, doesn't mean you're never gonna cut something.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's figure out how to accommodate for cutting being challenging.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do you cut something different?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you cut it backwards from the rest of us?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Should we obviously get you left-handed scissors, like accommodation?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes remembering, like, okay, part of my responsibility in learning some of these ways to help support my brain was what can help me remember this on my behalf calendar immediately.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually so rude and weird and awkward, but if someone tells me something, even if it's not confirmed, I will, as they're talking, put it in my calendar because there's no way my sweet, sweet brain could walk away and remember.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's like a 30% or less odds if I don't do it while they're talking that I'll remember.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: I even put things tentatively in my phone and I put two question marks under them.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Another hilarious little system for me that has helped is I put emoted emojis.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Most of my calendar has emojis.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then I instantly put the location as well.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I don't, I forget.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or I um and then when it's confirmed, I put a little green check because my brain can't be like, I used to be like, well, if it's not, if it's just an idea, don't put it in my calendar.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'd accidentally double booked as I was waiting for people to loop back.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just one of the simple ways of like, okay, Aaron does not need to put tentative things in his calendar.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Bless his little type A heart.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I do, and it works so well for me.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm okay that if it's a smidge different than Aaron's, and maybe it looks, it kind of could look juvenile.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: My my calendar literally looks a little juvenile with all of those emojis.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't miss stuff.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't miss as much stuff.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: How about that?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect's not the point.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I actually see it, my eyes read it.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: The pictures were like, oh yeah, piano before I even read it.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: I my brain kind of just glazes over when it's all just black and white font.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: But right now I literally have, I'm looking at my Wednesday, I have a an emoticon when I do walks.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: I usually do three or four walks a week with friends.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same one.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: When I have a couple coaching people that I only do 15-minute check-ins, it's the same emoji.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have for the one that I use for play dates is the same.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: The piano less piano lessons for my kids is the same.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: The when it's a family dinner, it's the same, same.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: When it's a small group, I use the same emojis because then when I'm just even briefly looking at my day, I can visually be like, oh yeah, hip-hop, um, call my mom, have that coaching, need to send that email because it's it's picture related.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm gonna get back to having a release.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to tell you guys a little bit of a story.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I said get back to, but I was like, didn't I introduce it yet?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just we're just gonna start from here.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if I edited my podcast more, this would be one of those moments I'd edit out that little awkward refrain.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: But here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so in the thinking the difference, even just sharing about how I use emojis so much and being different versus broken, um noticing what works for you and being okay with it.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: I remember with my kiddos, um, it's probably about like three or four years ago, with just things like this.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm different.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's harder.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'll they'll ask me four times and I'll forget something, or um not remember to circle back, or I'm in my own brain accidentally, not even with headphones on.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, mom, are you even listening?
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt just a ton of shame this one day.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: I remember earlier in my type B, like coming to terms with my type B ness.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I went on a run because I just couldn't get out of the like, man, it sucks for them and for Erin to be married to someone who's wired naturally so differently, whose brain doesn't function like everybody else's.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: This was more when I was in my um, I'm broken phase of my brain related relationship with my brain.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not in quite in there as much.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just was like processing it with the Lord and feeling sad.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like the cost, I remember being like the cost that my kids get with having me as a mom.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: And as I was on this run with the Lord, he just so clearly said, Do you think I made a mistake when I gave you them or when I picked who their mom was gonna be?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: When I was like, Wesley, your mom is gonna be Jenna, Rosie, your mom's gonna be Jenna, Audrey, your mom's gonna be Jenna.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Did I make a mistake?
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Was it like, ooh, the best is not available because I already used them over here in this family.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what we have left on the shelf.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel a little teary.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: And he was I was like, no, of course not.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, and did you think I was surprised about how your brain's wired?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, so I chose you to be the perfect fit for them, knowing how your brain was wired.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I must not consider you broken.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're different, but I think you're the I picked you exactly as what they needed.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: You are the perfect match.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: I said you're the perfect match to steward.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I think of raising kids, motherhood as um we're leasing, we're leasing them.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not a lease to own, you know, we have to give them back regardless, but instead of like full ownership, he's like, I chose, because then it reminds me of God's role as the primary redeemer, teacher, lover of their soul, and I'm just this leaser.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have responsibility, you know, there could be damage on my watch, but I'm still the leaser.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, so the Lord was like, Did I make a mistake in choosing I didn't made no mistakes in choosing you to be the one in charge of leasing these of my favorite three kids to you?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, ah.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I think this shift, whatever ways your type B ness affects, impacts, has a relational cost on your marriage, on your kiddos.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: And even if you're listening to this with a spouse who's more type B, God didn't make a mistake in giving you them.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's a beautiful part that is actually perfectly wired.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: He's not surprised how their brains worked.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: We just get to work with how we're wired versus trying to make us be right-handed or type A or not doing anything.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Another humbling moment, I mean, the story the story starts a little further back than recently, but um, when Erin and I were dating, my mom knew we were headed towards marriage, and she sat us down and she had a multiple page list of reasons that I would not make a good wife.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: And oof, it was painful.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: I at that point in our dynamic, I I didn't say anything, I just kind of like quietly, quietly cried.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was a pretty common, well-worn conversation.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: My type B-ness.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, specifically, I mean, like if you have a type B child, you understand there's and you are not type B, you're type A.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of natural friction that happens.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: So this felt like a culmination of oh, I feel a little teary, of all my flaws, which now I would joke and call them type B, but all my flaws trying to be presented to Aaron in a way that he would have a full picture of what he was picturing.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: So wasn't just the cute, excitable girl, like 23-year-old sitting next to him, but um yeah, like a list of my flaws.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it was tough, and for years, years, it has caused me so much pain.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: But then, like the the memory would be painful.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: How about that?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord's like slowly healed it and reframed it and um understand it more and peeled back layers and all these things, and there's uh a redemptive arc arc in it all that I'm not gonna tell the fullness of the story.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: But this summer, I was cleaning out my garage and I was thinking about how um how how long it took me.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we were married for 17 years before I really was good at keeping food in the house on a regular basis, cleanish floors.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think I've told you before that there'd be multiple times in toddler life that a kid would spill a whole bag of things and I would just feel so defeated, I like wouldn't pick it up for like a day.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: So bad.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because it would like take all my effort to clean because it's not some of the like uh in an efficient, fast way, adding like structure or like a plan is not necessarily type B people's strongest suit.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: So then trying to do that with toddlers, and then they'd um, I always would call it breaking the seal.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: One time mopped the whole house, and then Audrey dropped a rotisserie chicken entire thing, you know, all the grease on the floor, and I was like, it's done.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I left it until Erin came home, which is probably like 30 minutes, but still I was like, I could not, I would just get overwhelmed so easy.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: So thinking about that, and then um being so late or forgetting things or just chaoticness, and all of a sudden, and I was like, wow, but I, you know, I've grown so much, that's not the reality of our house anymore.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of those lids were my lids, um, not Aaron's lids, and he was very gracious.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad I picked him instead of someone who was like had more OCD tendencies.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but fast forward, all of a sudden I was realizing I was like, wow, my mom's list was not wrong.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I got teary in the garage.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel teary now because the the observations weren't wrong, the conclusion was so the observations of things that were hard for me because of my typeiness were accurate, but the fact that I wasn't gonna make a good wife, oh, I felt so teary, was not true.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: And though this was told to me, I think a lot of us have come to these conclusions ourselves too, and it's just easy to take on shame you're bad at this, so it's like attached to a character versus I actually I have so much freedom.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's probably why habits have been become so essential to me, is because it takes the onus off of my character and it was like I need an external tool to help support me in this area.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, lots of this was about time management because that's where my type B-ness has flared in the last month and impacted my marriage and my kids.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but in general, that's why habits have felt revolutionary to me because I'm like, oh, I'm not flawed, I just need to fight figure out systems that work for me to help my brain, to like support my brain.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so going on that journey, the other side, which if you are someone who's type B or has an ADHD diagnosis, there's a couple accounts on Instagram that are stunning because again, like I said, I don't know about y'all, but I'm in the word of faith, you know, um movement, which means obviously we b all believe your words have the power of life and death.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: But there has been some times where someone has heard me say I have ADHD and they'll low-key kindly confront me later and be like, don't speak that over yourself, or I rebuke the diagnosis.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I it has occurred to me that, like, oh, they actually going back to the, you know, like almost the analogy of being left-handed versus right-handed, I no longer think of it as for me, I don't think of it as a disability or a hint.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, handicap's too strong of a word, but I even love one of the things I love about the expression neurodivergent is just mean a different brain versus a broken one.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that's been huge in shifting that.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: So then when these people are like, don't claim that of yourself, I was like, oh, I actually, it just feels like saying I'm a brunette and you're a blonde.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's a limitation.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that I'm agreeing with any diagnosis.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm just gonna work with myself in a different way that I didn't know I needed, you know, and now I know how to set myself up for success.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel limited by this.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just again, like the left-handed person, I need different tools.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then the flip side, like I've been saying as I now have that, is there's been so there's a few Instagram accounts, which if you want to DM me on Instagram to refer these accounts that are like the positive parts of ADHD, of like you'll never meet someone.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll go and know a few lists, but it has made me see the beautiful part of like, okay, yes, my brain is different, us type beers, but also it's so stunning.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: The difference unlocks this whole other part that it actually feels almost like a superhero, you know?
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_00: Superman had super strength and kryptonite at this, you know, like a weakness as well.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, sometimes I think of it like ADHD as well.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that has been really helpful to actually see in a positive perspective the difference of my brain.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for us diabeers, I was gonna make a list, but having one of the things at Calvert is just super simple is to follow a couple um ADHD accounts that were so positive and not just about the healing or the diagnosis or people don't understand.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like blame me, blame them.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like a and I hope you never lose this sparkle about you.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, so that one's good for me.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, and realizing like I don't want to spend my entire life studying the cost of my brain and completely miss the beauty.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: So our brains, some of this ADHD, some of this is a type B, but our brains, my brain specifically makes very fast connections.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: Ideas come fast, like enthusiasm comes fast.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'll probably grab you and be like, yes, with enthusiasm.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's been a couple times as Audrey grows older, she's like, Mom, you just touched that cashier.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you I know you're excited for her, but Do you think she wanted you to touch her?
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're a stranger.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, yeah, yeah.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that that part of my brain doesn't really happen.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: It just happens.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time people see the good intent, but it comes fast.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Joy comes fast.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: If there's something I love, you're going to know about it.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hence this podcast.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hence, I'll probably buy an extra one for you if it's a reasonable price.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know, if I love you, you're going to know I love you.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: And also know the 10,000 reasons I love you.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll probably send you a voice memo with like specific reasons I love you.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I like there are one of the things of awareness of my fastness and my muchness.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: My my new phrase that I've been using is my muchness is muching when I'm like kind of on a hype, like um energetic wave.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not always quite so much, but sometimes I'm just like a goal, I call it my golden retriever puppy dog energy.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I can watch it my muchness when my muchness is muching, I can watch people react and like people who are not at that pace almost like cower back.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: They're not trying to be mean, but they're literally like, what am I encountering?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: What is this, what is this humanness?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is a lot.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I think that's the cool part about your brain.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know that happens.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: I used to feel a ton of guilt or shame afterwards.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, it's too much, or yeah, kind of the narrative of too much.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm like, oh, I have moments where I'm more, but I also I love my muchness, and I'm not putting on fronts or airs or people pleasing or trying to get people to like me.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a genuine overflow of my internal world and my brain.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm okay if it looks a little different.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I actually don't want to tone it.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm aware of other people, and I care about my impact.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: Remember going back to the type penis?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: I care about my impact.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I also I was designed this way.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was not an accident.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I have grown, I've developed impulse control, I've learned to read rooms better, and I've learned that, oh my gosh, this one's so real.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not every thought that comes out of my that every thought that pops into my head has to immediately exit my mouth.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I made so many messes in my 20s.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: Praise the Lord that the gap between a thought and it exiting my mouth has increased.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the flip side of that is maturing doesn't mean becoming less of myself.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I desperately want my type B people to hear this.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do not take someone else's strength and turn it into evidence of your deficiency, which for me, with the muchness when people are super peaceful or chill, they're like, oh, that's their strength.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would literally be like, I'm not peaceful.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's my weakness.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a lot.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, wait, no.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if they get to be in their strength and I get to be in my strength?
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not like this seesaw, you know, like where one's up and one's down.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you go do your strength, and I'll go do my strength.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I love it when people are extremely organized and it's natural.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's like a beautiful thing.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was actually in a house last week where you guys, I'm not even kidding, her schedules had schedules.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_00: There was, I think she has a four schedule schedule monthly.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I can't remember.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: And but all of her drawers, when she opened her drawers, they were there's one of those um stunning type A brains that everything is labeled with like a label maker and all the cords.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know how you have UBC and to lightning and USB.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know all the terms, all the ones she had them all labeled, and I was like, that would be so helpful when I'm thinking of my cord basket.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: And there's two baskets, and they're supposed to be in different baskets.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: There was no labels, they're giant baskets, and I'm not even able to really stick with that system.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, her brain works beautiful.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: But what I didn't do is automatically turn her strength as evidence of my deficiency, nor did I judge her.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: I used to maybe would do that in my immaturity once it was like, this is too much, or or make you know, some level of a statement about her muchness with her type A.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: But then I was like, I am so happy this works for her.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: Her you go do you, and I'm gonna do me.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna look different, and there's not a wrong.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not broken, you're not broken.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay that we're different.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go shine our differences.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then lastly, it was actually pretty sweet with like going on this journey, honestly, with habits and maturing.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have shifted, believe it or not, I've become so much less spontaneous.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've increased my self-management.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm able to do things that I don't want to do, tell myself to do hard things and do it.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've built so much trust with myself.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not, you know, time management is a large key.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of tease that the time management habits are the gatekeepers to all the rest of your habits.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't have the ability to tell yourself what to do and do it in a general like time frame, then building other habits is like kind of pointless because you you have to get the trellis before you can add, you know, things to it is kind of how I feel.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that being said, so lots of growth, matured, simmered down.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: My friends, I've told you before, teasingly call me Genitope 2.0.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: I take a tenth of the vacations I used to take.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_00: I shop so much less.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't say shocking things anymore, I don't curse anymore, I don't tell jokes that would be like oh, anymore.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_00: But on all of that has been like beautiful.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: Be like, hey, I can be type B.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what does it look like to mature into like the woman I'm meant to be versus using it as a shield to not do any growth?
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: So then fast forward, I just turned 40.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, in December, my last birthday, so I'm currently 40.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: And one of my little habits at my birthday, I always go on a walk by myself or like the day before, and I ask the Lord, um, it was probably like five years ago, he's like, ask me for a birthday present.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'll do something for you.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ask for something you want.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I've done that for quite a few years.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this year, when I was walking, um, I was sitting out and I was about to ask, I was like, what do I want for my birthday?
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then it just hit me so clearly.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, actually, I what do you want for my birthday for me, God?
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I thought of my my kiddos, when they ask, they just had birthdays, we have August, September birthdays.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: The some of the things they ask for my grandparents, I'm like, in my brain, I'm like, I wish grandma would have just asked me because I know better gifts.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the gifts I have chosen have been more successful than the ones they thought they wanted for themselves because I know them and I think in bigger picture and I'm thinking all the things they don't think of.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just this awareness of God like that for the dad.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, instead of me asking me you for what I think I want or need, what do you want for me?
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you for my 40th birthday?
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is it?
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: You you know me better, you know my future.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you want for me?
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to give me?
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt so clearly that he told me that he wanted me to protect my playfulness and my joy.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was cool because at first I was like, what?
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized that in this maturing in my type B-ness, I had lost in a good way, I had grown out of some of the unhelpful, uh, what was gonna say costly, exaggerated versions of my playfulness, you know, like lack of spontaneity, lack of budget, canceling other things to do it.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, all of that kind of like I had I've lost the unhelpful parts that had kind of supported playfulness, but now realizing like, oh, but it's a choice.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost felt like I could see myself as I'm pursuing growth losing a bit, and the Lord is like, protect it.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this goes back to the you know, your brain's built differently, but it's so beautiful.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I just felt like the Lord was so clearly how how much playfulness is tied to joy.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_00: And at this point, I don't need it because I'm not dopamine seeking like I used to be.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not overwhelmed in my life and looking for escapes like I used to be.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I could almost in the in the pursuit of responsibility and maturing, I could I was almost like losing playfulness, and I felt like the Lord said, don't miss it.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the little small habits is I take up a bid for playfulness for my kids as often as I notice.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would say every day, but not usually.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if Rosie dances goofy in the morning or she does crazy eyes, I'll do it back at her.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's usually when I don't feel like it, it's this choice, and then I've done really like I've done silly things, but planned silly things or plan playfulness, or um, so it doesn't wreck the rest of my schedule, or we don't get homework done because mom, you know, took a crazy left turn on the way home from school and now we're doing something playful.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or I do micro playfulness, where before maybe it was like a three-hour paddle board down the river versus hey, let's bike to the creek and see if we can catch any temples and then come back within 20 minutes.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, but it was just so beautiful and it tied to the Lord being like, I made you playful.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: And even I think sometimes, specifically with ADHD people, there's a joy that comes in your playfulness and your spontaneity and your zeal for life that I'm like, oh, that absolutely feel a little cherry.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, that absolutely reflects the Lord's heart.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: And as adults, how sad would it be if we decided our brains were broken and we left the part, if we left it all, you know, like almost like um instead of thinking of it as maturing, like we murdered, we murdered it.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we're like, oh my gosh, we no longer like lose those parts that are actually supposed to show the world a beautiful part of the Lord.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_00: So um for you type B people, I bet you're wonderfully like you innately are playful and fun and spontaneous.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't don't make it shallow, like there's something tied to those that are joy, joy, full of joy, and in a world that either are workaholics or um numb alcoholics or responsible and overwhelmed, like there's something so close to the Lord's heart up with joy that is that does like renew, renew strength.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: So for my type people out there who are listening, I hope some of the things you walk away with is thinking of it like being left-handed versus right-handed.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's not broken, it's not bad.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna use it as a shield to excuse not growth, nor are you gonna try to copy and paste some type A person's structures or solutions into your life when your brain is truly wired different.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you find um things that support you and give yourself permission for your systems to look different.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then I hope as you mature, you don't also kill the beautiful parts of your brain that are different but beautiful in their difference.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, my question to you, what I want to leave you type B people with, or if you're married to type B, is what have you labeled as a character flaw that might actually be a difference you need to just learn how to steward?
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_00: Some habits you need to build around build around versus weed this character flaw out of myself.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then where do you genuinely need to grow?
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: Where have you used your wiring as a I'm a type B, this is how I am, as a shield to not grow?
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: But also, maybe the flip side of that question would be where have you used it as a sword?
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just why can't I figure this out?
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can't I'm not good at adulting.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um then the next question would be what systems keep failing in your life because you're trying to copy and paste someone else whose brain's not wired like yours onto your life.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what parts of yourself have you been trying to tone down that God might not be asking you to eliminate?
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just I would say tone down actually sounds more appropriate, like grow into, but not up weed up and remove.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: He wants to mature you, not murder them, which sounds so intense.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_00: I like M's, you know, alliteration, mature, but not murder.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, oh, murder, murder is just I should have chosen a different word.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe your creativity needs structure, maybe your enthusiasm needs wisdom, maybe your spontaneity needs some boundaries around responsibility.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your excitement, well, I was gonna say like love of people and commitments needs to practically learn how many things you can actually say yes to versus things falling through the the cracks, which all of that is great.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: We are not eliminating that part of you, that person.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're just building a trellis, we're building habits and a system that help you bear good fruit for who you're designed to be versus trying to steal someone else's who's not even like wired like you.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I want for my type B people.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not this is just how I am, not I need to become more like them so that I adult better, but kind of a level of acceptance of this how I work, these are the places I need to grow, these are the things that are beautiful about me, these are the things that reflect the Lord, these are systems that help me flourish, or even I need systems here to help me flourish.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: What are brainstorming some systems and getting really good at stewarding the person God actually made you to be if he made no mistakes?
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_00: If he didn't mess up when he built you, then there's gotta be a code to help you thrive.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't need to become just right-handed.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need a lot of right hair pair scissors running around the world.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I said running around the world, I'm like, no, every mom's like, we don't run with scissors, and then I lost you with my analogy.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe just my type B people went there, and everybody else was like, no, didn't think that until you said that.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then apparently, maybe I just need to remember to finish my monthly calendar and the pain the pain from me, my type B sweet brain that comes relational when I don't dial my time management habits would be dramatically less for September than they were in August.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Really, really could be that simple to find the right habits to support you versus I don't know, just wallowing in shame or like never trying, never trying something new.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, part of it is if you do want to join me, love to have you for my type management course for type B brains.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make a whole support group out of it.