Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Dirty Rush: Moms Listen Up

Transcript

Dirty Rush: Moms Listen Up · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush The Truth about Sorority Life with
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia, Judice.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Pessler.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody, This is Tristep and Joan and we are
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: here with the Dirty Rush podcast. We're actually in Tahoe
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: and I love these events because we get to just
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: podcast all day long and just chat and hang out
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and talk about life.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: And it's such a great way to catch up.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Like we had this community that is really important to us,
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: but we only get to see each other really very occasionally,
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: and these podcast opportunities, I hurt, are really special.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: It's so much.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Really, I'm so glad you could come. This was like
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a they always do the golf things. Yeah, and I
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't play golf. Could you could do
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: a pick a ball thing?
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: So we're here having to play pickable because of you.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We get to chat all things rush. So I of
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: course have a daughter who loves you.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I love her, but she's been like with me at
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: really special times.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, she just because.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: She's part of this bachelor community. She grew up in it,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: so she gets to like experience these school things. So
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: she was at a date that you well, it wasn't
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: a date a time that you came and gave me
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: advice on my season, and I didn't know that she
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: was sitting right behind me at a cafe table and
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: then I turned around up like.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: She's so cute.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I love her.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I love her, But you know that kind of brings
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: me to thinking about like she your son's going off
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: to college this year, right, so she's right behind him
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: next year him, and like I feel I don't know
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: if she's going to go southern school or what kind
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: of school she's going to do, but like Russia is
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: such a big part of like the beginning weeks of
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: college when you're like the most unsure of yourself. Do
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: you have any thoughts like as a mom, how you're
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: going to support her when she goes through this because
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: it's scary.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: It's so scary.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: So even with Max, like you know, obviously it's I
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: think mostly we talk about girls, but you know there's.
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: Fraternity to rush.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, like on.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: The podcast, But I feel like for him, he'll be
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: going to college next year, yes, in couples, so he
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: is going to see you older and I am so excited.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: I am a good boy close to Mama.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I like he will be like an hour away. I'm
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: just gonna pop in. Can I take you to lunch?
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Firstnutes from He went to Georgetown, which is twenty minutes
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: from where I live.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know if Max would be happy with that.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I think he wants to like go a little further away.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: But I am so happy he's going to be an
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: hour away. And it's Ryan's all mutter and everything. So anyway,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: but I'm wondering if he will rush. I don't think
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: he will. He is more of like hanging out with friends,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: not necessarily the big party frat guy.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but who knows how.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: It smells like beer all the time exactly.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he'd be fine with that part.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: But I think it will be interesting to see and
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I and then blakes Lay next year will be I
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: assume going to college, and we've talked about if she
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: would rush. And I was in a sorority. I was
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Alpha Kayomega and I still still to this day we
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: are on a big text thread.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: It was one of our.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Sorority sister's birthdays, like two days ago, when all of
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: us were wishing her happy birthday and trying to make
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: a plan to get together they are my part of
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: my chosen family, you know, my sorority sisters. So I
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: feel like Blakesley would love that part of college. It
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: will depend on where she goes and the Greek system there.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, every school it's very different.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I'm so surprised when I hear about, especially recently, I've
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: been hearing a lot about California schools and that it's
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: not such a big thing. I think they have so
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: many other things. They've beaches and other things that maybe
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: create community for them because you can be outside so much. Yeah,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: so I think that it just depends on where she goes.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Totally depends on where she goes.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I did have a great conversation with her the other
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: day because my best friend from high school and college,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: we were sorority sisters, and her daughter is Blakesley's age.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: We gone to like the Taylor Swift concert together.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Like they love each other, they're good friends. She just
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: said that she was taking her daughter to Indiana, which
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: is where I went, and she's like, you should come
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: with Blakesley, and I was like, I I have been
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: trying to get one of my children to go to
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Indiana because I loved being a Hoosier but neither of
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: them have been interested until I said, let's go with
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Cindy and Taylor. There you go, and she's like, oh,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I would love that. That would be so fun. I'm like,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, maybe maybe.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: She'll actually.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Friend there.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: To ask you about that, though, yes, I'm curious that
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: if she goes with do you think that she will
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: expand in the way that she should at college if
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: she has the safety of her best friend there.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: She's my best friend from growing up and it's they're
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: super close. But yes, I do feel like even if
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: it was her best friend, I think she'd be fine.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: That's how I was like. We went from high school
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: to college and it was fine. We expanded, We got
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: to meet other friends on our own, and then we
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: joined the sorority together because they have like a winter
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: rush or second semester or whatever.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: So we got to know our dorm friendriends first, and
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: we were in different dorms, and then we came back
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: together that alpha Kai.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So I feel like she would.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Be fine and it would be great for her to
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: have at least one friend some person college. Yes, she
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: does want to be in California, so it will just
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: depend on where she goes and the Greek system there.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: So we've talked to Daisy and my old producer Hannah
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: both went to San Diego State and they were Alpha
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Kai's which is what I was, and so like talking
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: to about it, like she loves Daisy and she's like, oh,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: well maybe I'll be in Aphacai.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, ye that, Oh my gosh'd be so happy.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, Rush, it's fine, Like I'll be happy, like
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: if she's happy.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: But think about your RUSH experience and like like being
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: chosen it's like your first like really big test in
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: college because for so many stories it happens like before
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: you actually even start in classage you know nobody and
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: you're in like the judgment that you feel it's so intense,
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Like as a mom, how do you support a kid
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: through that? Well, you need to tell me straight up.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Neither one of my daughters rushed. So I have four kids,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: not one of them was None of them were part
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: of the Greek system. My sons played a sport, so
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: they kind of had a community from their sports teams.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: They both played sports in college, but my daughters didn't
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: had no interest in the Greek life.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I think honestly, it's just trying to encourage them to
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: be who they are, you know, be confident in who
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: they are. And if you if you shine your light
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and are honest about the kind of person you are
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: and are sincere in what you say, you know, all
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: of those things, If you're genuine and authentic, then you're
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: going to find your people.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think so many people think that I
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: got to be really fun and I got to be bright,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: and I got to like show my best outfits, and like,
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, certainly, so much of it.
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: Is about your part. The way you look. That certainly
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: is a part.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: But like, you want to find your the right tribe, right,
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: And it's hard because you're I want to be in
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: like this sorority for the most popular girls, or the
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: sorority for the most whatever, right, yep, And it's hard
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: to find the right place for yourself unless you're being
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: truly authentic. Yeah, you have to make sure the girls
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: and that sort of are like looking for people that
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: are like them.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Right totally, Because I mean, you can always change, you
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: can always not live in the house or whatever. But
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like just listening to your gut is what
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like. I tell my kids, and I will
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: continue to tell my kids, is listen to your gut.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: If you are feeling like this, this environment and these
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: people make you happy, then go with your gut. If
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: you're thinking, I cannot wait to get out of here
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and I don't want this conversation.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So uncomfortable one more minute.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Then that's telling you something, you know what I mean.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: So I feel like it's just about listening to your gut,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: talking about like talking with trusted people about what you're experiencing.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe you talk through something or just journaling or something
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: like that so you can actually.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Like process, I know, because remember and go back. It's exhausting.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, like those days of rush are there is
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: so exhausting and so much pressure on you, And I
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: think that you should also always remember that. I think
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: you think it's very one sided that they're choosing you,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: you're also choosing that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I totally agree and don't forget that you say that
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: because we're in this whole Bachelor Nation world in Tahoe
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: right now. But Bachelor is very much like that. I
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: have always thought it's not just the lead who is picking.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I said that on my season to the guys' same
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: same same. You may not like me exactly.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: This is a two way road.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if if you, I need you to be choosing
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: me just as much as I am choosing you.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: I said that very specifically after I had done my
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: four hometowns. Yeah, and two of the guys on my
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: hometown said kind of like, I'm not sure I'm going
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: to get to war. You need to be at the
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: end of this process. Although I don't think they really
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: knew where I needed to be, and I wasn't necessarily
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: looking for an engagement. I was looking for a person
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I wanted to explore outside of bachelor books. Two of
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: them said that. So when I did that last Rose
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: ceremony to go to Exotics, I said, I just want
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: to make sure you know that this is a two
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: way street. We've now spent enough time together that both
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: of us are making decisions, not just me, and that like,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: if you really don't want to go and continue this,
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: you need to not accept this Rose.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I can say no, and it's the same it's the
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: same thing.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And maybe and this happens that you will get
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: down to maybe the last few storties that you like
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: your preference one and you know you have your first
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: and second choice, and you may decide, no matter what happens,
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: that neither one of those were the right thing, and
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: you can rush again the next year.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: You don't have to accept a bid.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I know people who I have I did not tons
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: of recommended. Really, it happened to you.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: I did not accept the bed, and again the next.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Year exactly that has the same thing happened to me
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: with the Miami dancers.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: So I tried out.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: First year, didn't make it, second year didn't make it,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: third year made it. It's all just keep trying. If
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: it's something that you want to do, then keep doing it.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, keep trying.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: To feel like.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: There's like this negative connotation if you don't make if
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you are not in a house the first time you
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: go through it, that you're like a bad seed or something.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, whatever, it just didn't.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Work out for whatever reason, whatever reason knows, and it
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: does not mean you're a bad person or there's anything
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: wrong with you.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: I felt really down at myself when I didn't get
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: the story that I really wanted to because I had
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: a really good friend in that story and I knew
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: a lot of her friends, and I'm like, how did
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I not get in right, and I felt really, really,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: really hurt, and so I just said, I'm not doing it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: I didn't get in the one I wanted to be in.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: I got in another really good one that I had
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: a good friend in, but it wasn't my first choice.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I just.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: Didn't do it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: But I spent that entire year wondering if I've done
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: the right thing. Oh yeah, not knowing that I was
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: going to get in the next year, thinking I probably
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: ruined my chances completely of being part of the Greek system,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: which I really didn't want to be part of. I
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: was a computer science major, so I had a very
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: boring group of friends based on my major. I swear
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, this is not how college is supposed
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: to be spent in like the depths of the computer
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: science building with a bunch of really nerdy people, and
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: I was like the only female. So I had to
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: get Oh, I was such a nerd. I look like this,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: but I was a huge nerd. I was very shy
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: and awkward, really bad. I minored in math. Besides that,
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I was like especially nerdy, so I needed a sorority
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: to get to get a social life out of it.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: So I felt really bad about myself when I came
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: out of that first year rush, but it all worked out, okay.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: You know, one of the questions on our rundown is
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: what are a couple of things you wish you knew
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: as a mom to help your daughters through the rush process?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel like it's also life advice, like
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: know who you are, be true to you and know
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: that you are loved and it will all work out.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: And if it doesn't work out, I'm here.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the whole.
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: Thing, because because it doesn't work out for everybody, and
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: you know, I know so many girls it didn't work
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: out for it, and it's so scary, which is why
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: maybe this is so stressful on the moms, right, maybe
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: as stressful as you as.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: A mom, as it is as on your daughter, right,
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Like I gotta imagine when Blake Slee's going through this,
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: they're gonna be a nervous wreck. Oh you want to
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: be because it doesn't always work out.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have When they get their heart broken, it
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: just breaks your heart ten times more.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: That you weren't chosen and I know how like how
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: much they just screwed up by not taking you yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: and like.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what you have to say.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had to deal with that with Blakesley, with
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: you know, if she didn't get into a dance in
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: her studio or whatever. You know, being like there are
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: there are reasons that people make certain decisions and you
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: might not ever know those reasons.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: But just know that you're.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: An amazing person and you are so loved and it's
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: all going to work out.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Because it's so hard.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: It's hard for them to accept that, to believe it
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: so hard.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: But we know it because we're older.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we know it's true.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: It's true to have some hindsight into like things that
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: have happened, and it all works out. It really does.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Everything happens for a reason, it all works out.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I know my daughter, my oldest daughter, Erica, had a
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: girlfriend who went to.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Mississippi. Uh huh huge. Oh right.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: If you do not get into a house as a freshman,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: you are like lost, you have like no friend group.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And she didn't.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: She was probably my daughter's most attractive friend, probably had
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: the best clothes of all the woes at her little
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Catholic high school and she didn't get in and it
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: was very shocking.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: She ended up leaving ole Miss.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: She she she did not finish start there.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And you know what, that's also the message.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: If it doesn't work out and you're not happy, you
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: can change your mind.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: She ended up in New York City, like in a
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: fashion thing, and I was like, so much better than
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: old Miss. I know that she loved the idea of
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Ole Miss and the big you know, football school and
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: the social life and she was very social.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: She ended up in New York City right where she belonged.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: To exactly like it's okay to change your mind if
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: you don't have a great year.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: It is not said in totally.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I think it's a really important thing just in general.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Again we're not just talking about storties, but just talking
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: about the college experience. That you don't have to stay
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: at the college you originally pick. You know, try to kiddish.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Transfer you do. It's not a four year sentence if
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: you don't really like it. My oldest daughter transferred from
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: she went to school in Chicago and she ended up
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: back in DC at American University. She just didn't like
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: she did for a year and a half and then
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: eventually said this is the place for me.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: It's all good.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: It really truly is I've learned that. I feel like
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: the older I get, the more I'm like, does it
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: really matter where you went to college? I don't think so,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: does it really matter what?
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: You know? What I mean, it's just.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Maybe if you went to Harvard, yeah, or you went
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: to the Naval Academy, right, there are a few places
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: that maybe make a difference in your life.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: So true the rest of the colleges.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not making Maybe your first job, right, might be.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Dependent on I feel like so much these days it's
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: just about networking. Yeah, it's like about who you know
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: in the contacts that you've made with AI taking over
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: so much of everything that I feel like it really
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: truly is about.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: The connections, the personal connections that.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: You're tru And that's hard on some kids because they, Yeah,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: you got to think about, like where we are in life,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: and we are in a good place.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: We have friends who are successful.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: There is a whole generation of kids who are coming up,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: you know, and this happens not just for us, It's
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: been happening in our whole lives that maybe are the
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: first to ever go to college, right, and their parents
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: probably don't have friends who are college grads. You can
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: help these children, you know what, Like how hard it
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: would it be right being those kids? They're already working
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: like swimming upstream a little bit.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Right, I know, Yeah, I agree.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I I'm I feel very lucky that my kids can
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: go to college, that we can.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's it'll.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Be a stressful time for me to pay for two colleges.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Four four three at the same time.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Literally can't.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you on a firefighter salary. And I don't even
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: know what I am.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: Going to get you.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Some big old branded that's a that's a public service
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: asnouncement right now? Interesting there to pay for college. So
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: think and look at her, give her some products.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I'm well, I was just gonna say I'll do whatever
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: you want. That's not.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: But the bar has gotten a little lower now that
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: college tuition is on the table.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: My eyeballs are like, wow, I know.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: That is one thing I wish there needs to We
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: need to actually do a podcast. Here's another idea, Heather,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: an idea about how to prep for when your kids
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: are older, because there's so many things I wish I
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: would have done when my kids were younger that would
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: set themselves up for success as they are as they
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: launch as they soar from my nest, like all the
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: things that I wish I would have known back then,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: like like prep being for college and making that massive
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: decision and going on tours when they were in middle
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: school high school?
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: Did that?
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: I did the complete opposite.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: I said, applied to a bunch of colleges and we'll
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: see where you get in and then we'll.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Go visit them.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I know a lot of people who do that too.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: That was easier.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Well, I just feel like, gosh, this summer if I
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: had done that, but they.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Might able to. We wouldn't have had time, but they
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: might not have known what they wanted. I think it
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: like that would be like do you imagine yourself here?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: And they're like, no, I imagine myself on the playground
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: with my friends.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: No. Well, I'm saying, like going into high school like
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: eighth grade, but when my kid was playing lacrosse and
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: we were traveling or hockey and traveling and dance and
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: traveling and being in specific cities and not taking advantage
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: of just going on college campus, just walking around the
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: campus exactly like we don't have to do an official tour,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: but just like being like, oh, like, I don't know,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: do you like?
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: But whatever you did that a little bit though, like
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: when my kid was playing lacrosse and because.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: We would stick to hotel, do you know what I mean?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Like if the dance competition was at the Hyatt, then
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: you stay at the Hyata anyway. I just feel like
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: for Rush, you know, she knows and he knows that
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I was in the Greek system.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Ryan wasn't.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: But I am still so close with my sorority sisters,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: and I feel like just kind of modeling that, yeah,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: you know, and sharing that part of my life with
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: my kids has been really important for them to know
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: that the Greek life was such an amazing part of
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: my college journey and even afterwards, I mean, please, like
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I've shared about this, Ben and I went to I
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: went to the college national Championship because I you finally
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: was in it this year and I went, way, you're
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: doing it three sorority sisters and one of their husbands
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: who was in the fraternity system with us at the
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: same time.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: So I love it that you kept your relationships going.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: You didn't, No, I didn't, And like I feel like
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: kind of sad about that a little bit. I didn't
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: tell I was, and I have a little bit, I
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: didn't pledge tell it as your junior.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: So I had kind of a shorter stint in.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: The Greek system, but I loved having those friends. They
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: formed helped me form a social life in college that
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't have. For the first kind of a couple
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: of years, I had friends, but like I said, I
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: studied a lot and I wasn't part.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: Of the Greek system.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: But after I left college, I felt like it was
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: really hard to keep in touch with everybody. We didn't
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: have social media, we didn't have cell phones, right, I mean,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: we didn't have cell phones at the time. So to
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: get on a phone and catch up with somebody and
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: talk to for a month, you think, oh gosh, wait,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: I don't have time. And we're also all studying new jobs.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: And I at that point had a serious boyfriend who
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: I actually married. Yeah, that was my late husband John,
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: And so like my need for this social group kind
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: of went away.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: I kept in touch with some of them.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: I went to probably fifty weddings in the next like
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: two years of Like my sorority sisters, they were all
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: at my wedding, but as lives as our lives got
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: became kind of different, Like I got married a little
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: younger than a lot of them. I had my first
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: baby before any of my sorority sisters did. My life
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: changed enough that I didn't like my connections kind of
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: like faded a little bit. And I'm only friends with
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: a few of them now.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: And that's okay, yeah, you know what I mean.
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: It's the purpose at the time, and it was.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: It was great.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: I did go.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: They invited me back this year, probably because I was
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: a bachelor. They invited me back a bunch of times
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: since being on TV, but to Founder's Day and I
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: went this year. I couldn't go last year, so I
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: went this year and I loved being there, and I
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: felt a sisterhood with these young girls. So it's not
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: like this the feeling of that you have this commonality
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: that you're you know, I was adulta gamma that they were.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: That I felt like I was part of these dgs
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: for some reason, like they were this little weird, chosen family,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: and these girls I don't didn't know at all, still
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: felt like they were my storty sisters.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Totally. Yeah, you have that. I liked it forever.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm gonna go through some tips from sorority
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: source on Instagram. Oh, just tips two moms from a
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: mom who's gone through recruitment, because I feel like, for me,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely looking for these kind of tips if Blakesley
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: does choose to go through recruitment. And then also I
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: feel like they're just like we've been saying, just good
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: life advice. Yeah you know, yes, Okay, So sorority source says, uh,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: tips on going through recruitment Number one, listen to her.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: She's calling and needs a safe space. That is what
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I want for my kids all the time.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Have you ever thought that the whole pledge process or
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: the whole the whole process of getting in a sorority
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: is kind of cruel? Like it really isn't like it's
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: very judgy very And I would never say to like
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: suggest to my kids that you should go through this
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: kind of judgment, especially in your freshman year.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: Of college when you were your fire. Yeah right, that's
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: what they're doing. They're going through Russia.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: So we really these pieces of advice are like just
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: the tip of the iceberg when totally like maybe the
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: conversation needs to happened before you ever leave for college like, right,
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: this is going to be really stressful.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're going to feel very.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Judged by these people. But you said, like the most
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: important things be yourself.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yourself, your life time, and you've got a safe
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: space at home. Yep. And you're right listening to them
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: when they're going through this, and don't put your hopes
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: and dreams that didn't ever come true on them.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: It's their journey. Let them experience.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: I want this if you want this, yes, yeah.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: And number two, don't ask what did you say? If
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: she calls you and says a fave house cut her.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: She's not asking for advice. Just be there for her.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I feel like that.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: You know, when my kids have ever gone through anything hard,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: it is it's so hard.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: To like feel would they do that right?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: What did you do?
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: No?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Just listen they're loss yeah, exactly three.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Know her recruitment schedule, and be ready to take a
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: phone call at any point during rush.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh yeah dah.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Like that's so me answer your phone on life three
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: sixty being like, oh she's.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: A yeah, she needs a letter for gig.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: Just call me, okay, oh I will, I'll write letter.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I'm writing that down now. I have a whole list.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Number four, prepare how you will respond when people ask
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: about your daughter's rush. You might get asked this from
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: people you hardly know. At the grocery store.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's weird.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, at the grocery store, what do you mean?
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: I was like, why are you asking about how my
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: story my daughter's unless she's one of my daughter's best
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: friends mothers, Yeah, you had some any business.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Unless I have like shared about it on Instagram and
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: people are like, oh, that's like, what's you know? I
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: feel like it's her process and I'll share about it
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: if she's you know, all scream from the rooftops, if
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: she's happy with her decision, yeah, and then if she's not,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it will be a very private moment just between her
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: And actually, and I think you know how to negotiate
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: those because you've been doing it her whole life hopefully.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Last one is if you can make mid day
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: be there. Oh, you won't spend much time with her,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: but you can get a big hug and a few pictures.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: So last year, one of my good friends in Denver,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: her daughter rushed at Arkansas, and I wrote her a
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: letter of recommendation. Their rush process is intense, and it's
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: a huge school, and it's intense. She got into a
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: great sorority. And the way that they do it the
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: mid day stuff, Like they're sitting in this auditorium it's
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: kind of like the colisseum, like a big theater, like
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: outdoor theater, and they give girls letters and they open
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: them up with all these other thousands of girls.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: That's horrible. It's crazy terrible.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: But anyway, her mom, like all these parents are sitting
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: on the like lawn behind the like auditorium or whatever
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: it's called, and they're taking video and whatever.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: She said it was amazing.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: And about the ways she didn't get well, that's.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: What I mean.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, like if she didn't get
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: into a sorority, then at least you can be there
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: for her, like just wrap her in a hug, take
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: her out for to go shopping or something.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know, get her.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, go sit and get your nails done done,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: be massaged. I just feel like that's a great piece
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: of advice, is to be there for mid day if
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: you can't.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: So, you know, it was so foreign to my parents.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: My dad grew up in high in World War two
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: and like much as college at a teeny little college
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: in Indiana, by the way, and my mom went to
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: nursing school and she grew up in an orphanage. They like,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: the concept of being in authrority was so foreign to them.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Everything I did. They're like, well, I have no idea
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: what you're talking about. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing rush
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: and they're like, what's rush? Let me look and they're like,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: so you're finding girls. You're gonna pay for them to
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: be your friends. Like, yep, that's what we're doing. That's
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: what And not only that, they said, we're not paying
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: for it.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: You can use your student loans for that. I had
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: to pay for my instagrament.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Oh wow.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: They're like they don't get at all. No one was
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: paying for it, my parents.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: It can be very expensive. I feel like for both
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: of us, I feel like we're on the same page.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: If you had a daughter to go through it again,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like we would be on the same page.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: How involved moms should be. I feel like I want
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: to be there for her. I want to be there
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: for him if he decides to go through it, but
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: just to be supportive and try to not input my
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: like my experience onto her and just let her experience
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: it and help her talk through anything that she's dealing
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: with or talk through process like the houses if she's
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: trying to decide what house or he's trying to decide
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: what house or where to go. Just helping them process
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and just being them there for them.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Is there ever a part of you that thinks I
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: want to give them realistic expectations and to tell them
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: like my stoid and get in this straight. I want
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: to be sure my friend's daughter who didn't get any
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: and she went to a big school, like I almost
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: feel like you want to make sure they go in.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: Not expecting perfection.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: Totally scary and that will be a bigger disappointment to
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: go in knowing all the things that could happen.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Just the great thing.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Well, I feel like we've also talked I've talked to
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: blasilely about people who haven't gotten into sororities and.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: We're really really really.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Hoping to and they're fine, they're good, fine, they're happy.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: I survived it.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Okay, awesome, thanks for doing Dirty Rush with me.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: I love doing Dirty Rush. Thank you, and I'll be.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Write a letter of recommendation.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: I hope she's a DJ.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I know you wanted to be an Acadel.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: But she would be a great little teach I love
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: it or Alph okay, she.
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: Could be a great akyo.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening, guys,