Latest / Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast / 24 | Woman Addicted to Sniffing Her Dad's Boxers

Transcript

24 | Woman Addicted to Sniffing Her Dad's Boxers · Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast

• 0:04
  Let's talk. All right, I got a Reddit off my
• 0:07
  chest. I snapped and called out my
• 0:10
  friend's husband for making fun of her love of spicy books in
• 0:14
  front of everyone, and now the group chat is blowing up.
• 0:19
  For a good reason. I'm tired of people coming for
• 0:21
  those books. I mean, they're good, they have
• 0:23
  a whole following, so shush. Reading.
• 0:25
  People are reading. I have a close friend group
• 0:29
  that's been tight since college. One of the couples is Jake and
• 0:32
  Emily. That's not the real names.
• 0:34
  Emily's always been the reader of the group.
• 0:36
  She got into some fantasy series years ago, but the last couple
• 0:39
  of years she's gone deep into romanticy, like Butcher and
• 0:42
  Blackbird haunting Adeline, the ritual God of malice, all the
• 0:46
  dark, steamy ones. She talks about them the way
• 0:49
  that people talk about sports or video games.
• 0:52
  I love that, right? Excited, analyzing the
• 0:55
  characters, laughing at the banter.
• 0:57
  It's clearly her happy place, especially after a rough patch
• 1:01
  with work and some family crap. I've seen how much lighter she
• 1:04
  is when she's in the middle of one of those books.
• 1:06
  Her husband Jake has never been into reading, which is fine, but
• 1:10
  he's gotten increasingly meaner about her choices.
• 1:14
  He'll make snide comments like still reading your trashy porn
• 1:17
  novels or can't believe you're wasting time on that garbage
• 1:20
  when there's real literature out there which he doesn't even
• 1:23
  read. What are you talking about?
• 1:24
  Thank you. He doesn't read anyway so she's
• 1:27
  like, you're not going to crack at none of that open so calm
• 1:29
  down enough. She usually just laughs, laughs
• 1:32
  it off and changes the subject, but you can see her shrink a
• 1:35
  little every single time. Last Saturday we were all at a
• 1:38
  backyard hangout, maybe 8 to 10 of us, grilling beers, music.
• 1:42
  Emily was telling me and another friend about a scene and pucking
• 1:45
  around that had her crapping up. It's a hockey romance, I think.
• 1:50
  I mean, hockey's hockey's big now.
• 1:52
  Heated rivalry, Jake overhears, rolls his eyes and goes loud
• 1:57
  enough for everyone to hear. Yeah, she's obsessed with that
• 2:00
  smutty fantasy crap. It's basically just erotica for
• 2:03
  women who can't get it in in real life.
• 2:05
  And he laughs like it's the funniest thing 'cause if she
• 2:08
  can't get it in in real life, whose fault is that?
• 2:11
  As your. Husband, not your wife.
• 2:15
  So you just hold on yourself. Exactly they they see, see.
• 2:18
  But how mean is that in front of everyone themselves?
• 2:23
  OK. The vibe went dead.
• 2:25
  Emily went quiet, staring at her drink.
• 2:27
  A couple people gave awkward chuckles but I was pissed.
• 2:31
  I set my beard down and said straight up dude, why do you
• 2:34
  feel the need to humiliate your wife in front of everyone for
• 2:37
  something that makes her feel happy?
• 2:38
  She's not hurting anyone, she's reading books.
• 2:41
  If you don't like them, cool. But dumping on her every time
• 2:44
  she mentions them is insecure as hell.
• 2:46
  Knock it. Off.
• 2:47
  Good for her. Good for her.
• 2:49
  Because yes. Because why do you have a
• 2:52
  problem with it if it makes her happy?
• 2:53
  Shouldn't you be happy that it makes your wife happy?
• 2:55
  No, because she's happy and it's not attached to him.
• 2:59
  Yeah, that's so selfish. Jake got defensive real fast.
• 3:03
  Said Whoa, relax man. It was a joke, but his face was
• 3:06
  red and the. Joke needs to be funny.
• 3:08
  You know that's what I hate. It was a joke, but nobody's
• 3:12
  laughing. Exactly.
• 3:13
  Real comedian right here. Uh huh.
• 3:16
  OK, but his face was red. Emily looked at me with a mix of
• 3:19
  surprise and gratitude, then quietly said thanks unto her
• 3:22
  breath. The rest of the night was
• 3:23
  awkward as hell. Jake barely talked to anyone and
• 3:26
  we all left earlier than usual. Since then, the group chat has
• 3:29
  been a mess. Two of the guys are saying I
• 3:32
  overstepped and shouldn't have talked to him privately or it's
• 3:36
  their marriage and it's none of your business.
• 3:38
  Wait, wait, so I should say privately about what he said
• 3:42
  publicly? Publicly.
• 3:43
  So he's allowed to just say his opinions and I can't?
• 3:46
  I know that's what I'm saying. And then one girl one girl said
• 3:51
  since she thought Jake was being a jerk and appreciated me for
• 3:54
  saying something, Emily texted me separately and said that it
• 3:57
  meant a lot because he's been dismissive of her hobbies for a
• 4:00
  while and she feels like it's she has to hide what she enjoys.
• 4:03
  Jake hasn't said anything to me directly.
• 4:05
  And he won't. He won't because he's a coward.
• 4:07
  Exactly. But he's talking mad shit behind
• 4:09
  her back. There's a separate group chat
• 4:11
  that she's not a part of. Exactly.
• 4:13
  He know there is. She said I don't regret it.
• 4:16
  Watching him belittle her like that, especially when she's
• 4:19
  finally found something that lights her up, feels wrong.
• 4:21
  But now I'm wondering if I just made things worse for her at
• 4:24
  home or if I turned a small thing into group drama.
• 4:27
  Just had to get this off my chest.
• 4:29
  Felt good to say it out loud in a moment but the fallout sucks.
• 4:32
  Anyone else ever had to call out a friend's partner like that?
• 4:34
  How did it play out? I understand what she's saying
• 4:37
  that I don't want to cause problems at home because she
• 4:39
  can't control what's going on in their home exactly, but it did
• 4:44
  mean a lot to her friend to stand up for her.
• 4:47
  I'm glad she did it because that's that sucks.
• 4:50
  Like you're sitting in front of a whole bunch of people.
• 4:52
  You are gushing about this thing that you're really passionate
• 4:54
  about that you really love. Like I would love to know what
• 4:57
  his favorite football team is. And then so she can shit all
• 5:00
  over it in front of everybody when he's sitting there talking
• 5:03
  about how they won the Super Bowl or whatever.
• 5:05
  Exactly. What's the difference?
• 5:06
  It's your passions. It's your likes.
• 5:09
  Why does it matter? You know what I mean?
• 5:12
  I know why it matters because he ain't putting down in the
• 5:14
  bedroom and he's mad that she's getting it from books.
• 5:17
  I'm just going to say it, sorry. Dave, we went there.
• 5:21
  We went there because it's not always the case, but he outed
• 5:23
  himself. He did, he said, for not getting
• 5:26
  it at home. OK, pause.
• 5:28
  Whose problem is that? You know it's.
• 5:31
  Sorry, this guy in the book is way more romantic than you've
• 5:34
  ever been. Oh my God, Jake, you know,
• 5:38
  whatever. Literally.
• 5:41
  Yeah, I'm not a fan of Jake. He deserves our red flag.
• 5:43
  Yes, red flag. Oh, I love it.
• 5:46
  Yeah, 4. All right, whatever, Jake.
• 5:52
  I know. Am I the asshole for threatening
• 5:55
  to make my friend homeless? Whoa.
• 6:00
  How do you how do you have the ability to do that?
• 6:03
  I will let you know. All right.
• 6:05
  My husband and I have 4 kids. Eloise is 12 and Mateo is 7.
• 6:09
  And they are adopted. Cute names.
• 6:11
  Yeah. Margot and James, nine and four,
• 6:14
  are biological. OK.
• 6:16
  Eloise has special needs. She's got autism, hearing loss
• 6:19
  in both ears, and a few other diagnosis.
• 6:22
  She receives daily PTOT and speech therapy at school.
• 6:26
  Eloise's biological aunt, Julia, is heavily involved in Eloise's
• 6:30
  life. She picks her up from school two
• 6:32
  days a week and takes her to the trampoline park or her favorite
• 6:35
  indoor playground or swimming. Eloise also spends one night a
• 6:39
  week at Julia's house. And Julia has a key to our
• 6:41
  house, so she can drop in and see Eloise whenever she's
• 6:44
  available. I really love that she's got
• 6:46
  that. Yeah.
• 6:47
  A connection to her bio family. Exactly.
• 6:50
  So Julia also brings Eloise lots and lots of gifts.
• 6:53
  They're always either clothes that meet her sensory needs and
• 6:56
  current interest, toys that manage to sneak PT and OT into
• 6:59
  play, toys for sensory play or tools for self regulation.
• 7:03
  She usually brings something for the other kids, but it's
• 7:05
  typically much smaller, like a coloring book and a pack of
• 7:08
  crayons, a box of play DoH, a theater box of candy.
• 7:11
  But. That's so sweet.
• 7:12
  She's thinking about them too. The other kids, right?
• 7:15
  So one of my friends, Alexa, and her three kids are living with
• 7:19
  us for six months while Alexa gets back on her feet following
• 7:21
  a divorce. We split child care evenly for
• 7:24
  all of the kids except Eloise because she has more needs and
• 7:27
  agreed that everyone would be treated equally.
• 7:30
  All right, let's get into it. Julia continues to visit Eloise
• 7:35
  and bring small gifts for the other kids, including Alexa's
• 7:38
  kids because she now brings more for the new people.
• 7:41
  But the differences in the gifts and the amount of attention
• 7:44
  given to Eloise has been bothering Alexa.
• 7:47
  OK, she asked me to stop Julia from bringing Eloise such
• 7:51
  extravagant gifts and for taking her out without the other kids.
• 7:55
  And she wanted me to take back my house keys so.
• 7:58
  So that she can't visit as often.
• 8:01
  Whoa, that's the extreme. I mean telling me.
• 8:06
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also you don't understand
• 8:08
  the differences and situations. Like it's just a given she
• 8:12
  doesn't care. I told her that Julia is family
• 8:17
  and I don't plan to change anything about her visits.
• 8:19
  Alexa then went to Julia and told her to stop taking Eloise
• 8:23
  out without the other kids, stop bringing all these expensive
• 8:26
  gifts without getting equal ones for the other kids, and
• 8:29
  suggested that Eloise would be happier if they spent more time
• 8:32
  at Julia's house instead of mine.
• 8:34
  Stop not you speaking for me now that's insane to go over my head
• 8:39
  when I already told you no. She made about 5 assumptions in
• 8:43
  that one spot. Right?
• 8:44
  That part, Excuse me. Julia came to me and told me
• 8:48
  everything Alexa said. When Alexa confirmed everything,
• 8:51
  I told her that if she pulled that shit again, she will be out
• 8:54
  of my house and I will personally drop her kids off to
• 8:56
  her ex-husband. Oh my God.
• 9:00
  She said what she she said go. Back to the ex.
• 9:05
  That's you will be out on the street but your children are
• 9:08
  going back to the air. Alexa has profusely apologized,
• 9:13
  but she is upset that I'm threatening to make her homeless
• 9:16
  and take her kids away. My husband thinks I might have
• 9:20
  been a little harsh so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.
• 9:23
  No, I don't think, see, I don't think you are.
• 9:28
  What you said was like quick and like write to her soul.
• 9:32
  That's the thing, she said, what she said initially.
• 9:35
  And so yes, you came to me like you should.
• 9:37
  You have weird thoughts going around about what's going on
• 9:40
  with this child exactly and her special needs exactly.
• 9:44
  But the Julia, the auntie still brings gifts for everybody.
• 9:48
  You would have a greater problem if no gifts were given to your
• 9:51
  kids or her kids. It was just Eloise.
• 9:53
  Right. But I'm still thinking about
• 9:55
  your kids. Exactly like you showed up in my
• 9:58
  house, you are a guest temporarily.
• 10:00
  Only, are you a guest? Your kids are guests.
• 10:03
  Yes. And she still brings them gifts.
• 10:07
  I'm doing above and beyond at this point.
• 10:10
  Take it or leave it. Yeah.
• 10:11
  And I told you no. Yeah.
• 10:12
  And you still went around and you still went over.
• 10:15
  You going to be on the park bench?
• 10:17
  Your kids will be back at you, exes.
• 10:18
  And you're going to have to deal with that issue.
• 10:20
  The park bench scene. Yeah.
• 10:23
  She went there. Well, honestly, I'm not.
• 10:27
  I'm not even mad. I was shocked, but I'm not mad.
• 10:29
  I mean, I'm not mad at her. She is not that asshole.
• 10:30
  Absolutely not. No, First of all, she said what
• 10:33
  she said. You went around her.
• 10:35
  And so she said, OK, look. This is your.
• 10:39
  Last chance you got one more game to go around me after what
• 10:44
  I told you what I told you. I'm not mad, I'm not mad.
• 10:47
  So she's passionate and she loves her kids.
• 10:50
  She loves all those children. I'm not mad.
• 10:54
  Period. No.
• 10:57
  All right, so we're going to get into it.
• 10:59
  Is the Winter Olympics still going on right now?
• 11:01
  While we're filming? I believe yeah.
• 11:03
  All right, well, I'm sure y'all have heard, but basically 72
• 11:07
  hours into the Winter Olympics, they started to run out of
• 11:10
  condoms. If we can bear with me because
• 11:14
  I'm having this conversation with my mom right now.
• 11:16
  So let's just. This shows how open we are.
• 11:19
  You know, let's get into it. But, yeah, so they ran out of
• 11:22
  the free condoms at the Winter Olympics.
• 11:25
  And apparently the condoms are, like, really cute.
• 11:27
  Hold on. Let me see if I can switch.
• 11:29
  Yeah. So the, they're really, really
• 11:31
  cute. They have, like, doodles and
• 11:35
  caught, you know, cartoons and stuff on them.
• 11:37
  They look really, really cute. But all of them were gone, I
• 11:40
  believe. What?
• 11:41
  How many were handed? It was 10,000 condoms were
• 11:43
  handed out. I did.
• 11:46
  I was reading through it and I was like God, 10,000.
• 11:48
  There's only about 2800 athletes, like 2871.
• 11:52
  I was like, God, That's a lot, but apparently in the 2024 Paris
• 11:56
  Olympics. Yes, they provided 300,300
• 12:00
  thousand but condoms, but that's not the that's not the record
• 12:04
  because the record was back in 2016 for the Rio Olympics,
• 12:07
  450,000. That's running.
• 12:14
  So first of all, you shortchanged my Winter Olympic
• 12:19
  people this year, 10,000 How? You know, I don't want to get
• 12:22
  freaky. It's cold.
• 12:24
  It's cuffing season. You know what I mean?
• 12:26
  Everybody needs some warmth. And you said 10,000 they're
• 12:29
  like, shut it down. The nerve of you to try to limit
• 12:31
  me. That's only 3 1/2 condoms per
• 12:34
  person, and that's assuming everybody there is screwing.
• 12:42
  Because you want to do the math on 450,000 condos, there was
• 12:47
  dozens, dozens and a half. We're going to split it.
• 12:52
  They were like Randy. Everybody was worried like
• 12:54
  Randy. But The thing is, is that they
• 12:57
  do this so that everyone can be safe.
• 12:59
  Everything is great. They started this during like
• 13:01
  the AIDS epidemic in the 19. 80s I believe 80.
• 13:04
  Eight games, yeah. So they're trying to be safe and
• 13:06
  they're trying to be cool. Why 10,000?
• 13:09
  Why did you shortchange my friends here?
• 13:11
  That's what I'm saying. OK, Remember, I don't know if
• 13:14
  you heard, but I think the last Olympics they were trying to put
• 13:16
  them on cardboard boxes for their beds.
• 13:18
  They made the beds out of like, cardboard, trying to make it so
• 13:22
  people don't have as much sex as they've been having.
• 13:25
  What? First of all, these are the best
• 13:27
  athletes in the. World I know, but also.
• 13:28
  They're going to figure out a way How.
• 13:29
  Fun on cardboard? I've never done that before,
• 13:32
  Thanks. Like you think that's going to
• 13:35
  stop me? Well, more athletes in the
• 13:41
  summer, way more athletes. Yeah, 'cause they had.
• 13:43
  I don't. I think I looked at it, but I
• 13:44
  didn't write it down. Way, way, way more athletes, but
• 13:47
  still. But you know what?
• 13:55
  I'm saying it's people need comfort and for you to sort them
• 14:01
  out with 10,000 is insane. So yeah, bring in that second
• 14:04
  shipment. Yeah, they're supposed to get a
• 14:05
  new shipment of condoms, so. Bring it in, because that's
• 14:09
  ridiculous. Just hold out, be safe until
• 14:11
  they get there. So a lot of Olympic babies.
• 14:14
  Out there. A lot of Olympic babies, Well,
• 14:16
  that's kind of fire, right? Yeah.
• 14:19
  I like, I was conceived at the 1990.
• 14:23
  Yeah. Like my parents are both world
• 14:25
  class athletes. I mean, that's fired.
• 14:28
  That's fired. That's a good story.
• 14:30
  Anyway, Don't short them. That's the point of what we're
• 14:34
  talking about right now. Don't you dare short them and
• 14:39
  consider it. All right, moving on to the
• 14:45
  favorite thing I want to talk about today.
• 14:47
  Bring it. My strange addiction.
• 14:50
  I know y'all are watching this hot mess of a show.
• 14:53
  OK? It's a weekly release, so
• 14:55
  there's just we have time to process, we have time to talk.
• 14:59
  And this week, the star of the show for me was this young lady,
• 15:04
  Anissa. Oh my God I had opinions
• 15:08
  watching Anissa. Anissa's 29.
• 15:11
  Yeah, she has an addiction to sniffing her father's dirty
• 15:17
  underwear. Y'all not just underwear.
• 15:23
  Her dad's underwear. Dirty, dirty underwear.
• 15:28
  She called it fresh. She said this is a fresh pair.
• 15:31
  She said. I sniff it the second he takes
• 15:34
  it off, she is up in there. But the front, not the back
• 15:39
  though Remember when she clarified that she was like,
• 15:40
  it's the front? Like it matters.
• 15:42
  It's like no, bad is bad. So how this got started?
• 15:47
  Her mom walked out on them when she was like 9 or 10.
• 15:51
  And then a few years later, she was doing laundry and she was
• 15:54
  like, I need to make sure this is clean.
• 15:56
  So she's like sniffing, like clothes.
• 15:59
  And she got a whiff of her dad's dirty underwear.
• 16:02
  And she said she felt like euphoric, like it calmed her
• 16:05
  down instantly. She was like and ever since that
• 16:08
  moment, I've been addicted. You see, I just closed my mouth.
• 16:12
  Why don't? I was like.
• 16:14
  Watching her inhale like I have to demonstrate she was like.
• 16:18
  Like she was in the there. In there, she has stolen over
• 16:25
  100 pairs of her dad's underwear.
• 16:27
  Which she hides around the house in her bra.
• 16:31
  In her bra. Which is filthy because
• 16:33
  remember, these pairs are dirty. You just got underwear
• 16:37
  everywhere and they're not small underwear.
• 16:39
  Her dad isn't small, OK? It's like a triple XL at least.
• 16:44
  So she is hiding them all around the house.
• 16:47
  So she always, she said she can't go longer than 25 minutes
• 16:50
  without sniffing her dad's underwear like she is.
• 16:53
  She's a hairdresser and she has lost clients because she was
• 16:57
  pinning them to her face like a mask so she can just.
• 17:00
  Inhale. Smell it all the time, girl.
• 17:04
  I'm upset. Girl upset girl.
• 17:11
  I'm. Upset.
• 17:12
  I'm looking over there. Producer, editor.
• 17:14
  I was so mad. That's how I was looking when I
• 17:16
  was watching the show. I was just like, what are we
• 17:19
  doing? It couldn't get any worse.
• 17:22
  So she finally goes to the point because she told a friend of
• 17:25
  hers. Well, first of all, a while ago,
• 17:27
  she got caught. Her sister walked in on her,
• 17:29
  like doing her euphoric smell. And she promised she wouldn't
• 17:32
  tell. After she explained that it
• 17:34
  calms her down and it makes her feel better.
• 17:35
  Her sister's like, this is weird, but OK, fine.
• 17:38
  I won't tell your dad. She tells a friend while we're
• 17:41
  watching. Her friend told her straight up,
• 17:43
  I don't like this. This is weird.
• 17:45
  Yeah, but I'm not going to not be your friend.
• 17:47
  Right? We're going to work on this.
• 17:48
  It's good. It's good because she mentioned
• 17:50
  how previous friends were like, absolutely.
• 17:52
  Do not cut ties. No longer friends, which tough.
• 17:55
  It's tough but also ill. Girl, don't do that in front of
• 17:58
  me. Don't do.
• 17:59
  No, she can't. My stomach 25 minutes if we hang
• 18:02
  out longer than 30 minutes, you finish set an alarm.
• 18:05
  But like, all right, I got to go because you about to do that
• 18:07
  thing. So she goes and tells her dad
• 18:14
  and her poor father, I know he felt ambushed because he's she's
• 18:18
  like, you know how sometimes, you know, your underwear
• 18:21
  disappears and you're not like sure where your underwear is
• 18:23
  going? Side note, she goes and buys him
• 18:25
  fresh underwear so he doesn't notice that it's going
• 18:28
  disappearing. So she tells him.
• 18:30
  And he was pissed. Like he was really upset.
• 18:34
  Yeah, he said she had an issue. Like she had a mental he was, he
• 18:38
  was really going in. Like he was upset.
• 18:40
  He was really upset. On one hand, I completely
• 18:42
  understand him because when I first heard that she was
• 18:45
  sniffing her dad's underwear, the first thing I thought was,
• 18:47
  oh, God, there's abuse that's happened.
• 18:50
  What's what's going on in her past, all this stuff, Right.
• 18:53
  But the way he reacted, I feel, is how he should have reacted
• 18:56
  for a father who is a healthy role model.
• 19:00
  Yeah. For his daughter.
• 19:02
  Primary caregiver after the mom left and was like I'm gonna take
• 19:05
  care of my girls. He seemed to have done a good
• 19:08
  enough job and all of a sudden your daughter comes clean about
• 19:12
  sniffing your underwear. How do you, how are you supposed
• 19:15
  to react? And then he called.
• 19:18
  First thing he did was call the sister was called the sister,
• 19:20
  which is so tough. It's like, and he came running
• 19:22
  out and he was like, did you already tell her?
• 19:24
  She already knew? So, I mean, I felt really bad
• 19:27
  for the dad. Yeah, totally relatable.
• 19:30
  I get it. It is weird.
• 19:32
  It is really. She went to therapy, though.
• 19:34
  She did. And.
• 19:36
  Were they? Yeah.
• 19:38
  Hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy.
• 19:39
  Yeah. I'm trying to, like, just talk
• 19:41
  to her subconscious mind because apparently, like, she has no
• 19:44
  control over this. So it's just her subconscious
• 19:46
  telling her that this is how she remains sane and OK, because
• 19:51
  when she has anxiety she immediately reaches for the
• 19:54
  underwear. Sorry this is 25 minutes.
• 19:57
  You got 25 minute anxiety girl stop.
• 19:59
  She is doing that all the time now and I.
• 20:03
  Just, it's so weird, but he explained it.
• 20:05
  The therapist explained it as a way of feeling closer to her
• 20:09
  father because she had just lost her mom.
• 20:10
  She was feeling abandoned at this point.
• 20:12
  I'm sure things were weird in the household and that was her
• 20:15
  way of just being the closest she could be to him.
• 20:18
  To him literally because she said she tried it with a
• 20:22
  boyfriend and she was like it smelled.
• 20:23
  Disgusting. Yeah, it's like, and she really
• 20:26
  called it disgusting. It's like, oh, so your dad's
• 20:29
  underwear is less disgusting? It's perfectly fine.
• 20:31
  She described it as smelling like soil and like dirt and
• 20:34
  stuff, didn't she? Yeah.
• 20:35
  And grass, she's like, it's kind of like a earthy smells like
• 20:38
  girl. Enough, enough.
• 20:40
  We are good. We are so good.
• 20:47
  The last episode was the ray we rage made at each other.
• 20:50
  Now we're freaking your dad out. Yeah, sorry.
• 20:54
  No problem, we're. Like perfectly promise we are
• 20:57
  good. So that wasn't the only really
• 21:01
  interesting one of the episodes. There was also her name is
• 21:06
  Angela. She's 45 from New Jersey, NJ.
• 21:10
  For sure the accent was giving. I actually love it.
• 21:13
  Love she drinks 100 cups of coffee per day.
• 21:17
  Per day. How is she still standing?
• 21:21
  I don't understand. She has.
• 21:24
  First of all, her mug collection was fabulous.
• 21:26
  He was. Pretty great.
• 21:27
  So many great. Had a little basketball 1 and I
• 21:29
  was like that's a little. But she leaves them out because
• 21:33
  she drinks so much coffee. It's constant.
• 21:36
  And when she's like, oh, I'm so thirsty, she reaches for coffee.
• 21:38
  Not water, no. Coffee, coffee all day,
• 21:42
  different types of coffee. She had a little iced coffee she
• 21:45
  made like a little Frappuccino, and then when she opened up her
• 21:47
  fridge it was coffee and Creamer and Creamer.
• 21:50
  That was literally it because apparently she doesn't eat
• 21:53
  anything. Well, she said, I actually feel
• 21:55
  fine. Why would I go to the doctor?
• 21:57
  Because I feel great but the only problem is I don't eat or
• 22:01
  sleep. That's the issue.
• 22:03
  The only problem, the only and her kids had to force her to go
• 22:08
  to the hospital too because they were like this is a problem.
• 22:11
  The normal is 4 cups, which is still a lot for a regular
• 22:14
  person, but the normal is 4 cups or less.
• 22:16
  And she was pushing 100 a hundred.
• 22:20
  She says I can do that no problem.
• 22:21
  Like when she went to a diner, she was like diners have the
• 22:24
  best coffee. She sat there at that table and
• 22:27
  when I tell you she drank it like it wasn't even hot.
• 22:30
  Yeah. Worst nightmare, by the way.
• 22:32
  Worst nightmare? I do not like that.
• 22:34
  I hate getting. Burned by hot.
• 22:36
  Liquid. So when she was just going, I
• 22:37
  was like, stop. I mean just and then there was
• 22:40
  that Lady behind her at another table.
• 22:42
  She was hot. She was like, I'm a companion
• 22:44
  customer too. Why is she getting all the
• 22:45
  coffee? I got away from the fresh coffee
• 22:46
  because she drank it all like she was hot.
• 22:49
  Make 21 is for her, one is for everyone else.
• 22:51
  Everybody else, she was just like pounding the coffee.
• 22:55
  So then she goes to the doctor and she's like, I'm fine.
• 22:58
  The doctor said how is your diet?
• 23:00
  And she was like, it's fine, it's fine.
• 23:02
  But she brought her daughter with her.
• 23:03
  The daughter gave her side eye. So she finally.
• 23:05
  Admitted that she drinks a a bit of coffee.
• 23:08
  A bit, but how much? Like, all day, every day, yeah.
• 23:13
  About 100 cups and the lady lost her mind, told her all the
• 23:16
  things that could happen. She says, how's your digestion?
• 23:19
  She's like, do you have diarrhea?
• 23:20
  She's like, Oh yeah, I do. Every day, all day.
• 23:23
  I thought it was normal every. Day, all day.
• 23:28
  She says she goes to the bathroom 20 times a day.
• 23:33
  Her body's like eject, eject eject eject.
• 23:40
  And that is insane. I cannot She thought it was
• 23:42
  normal. She had what was her blood
• 23:45
  pressure 160 / 90 way too, and she couldn't sit still.
• 23:49
  She was just. Shaking like I start shaking on
• 23:51
  an empty stomach and 1 cup of coffee start shaking and she
• 23:55
  just could not stop moving. She apparently got kicked out of
• 23:58
  her son's like game because she was yelling at the coach.
• 24:01
  She's just too much. She's hyped up.
• 24:04
  Yeah, she's. Yeah.
• 24:05
  Yeah. Coffee is a drug.
• 24:08
  It is. But because it's legal, yeah,
• 24:11
  she is just going crazy. Insane.
• 24:15
  Absolutely insane. Like she drove to.
• 24:17
  The hospital with a bucket of coffee.
• 24:19
  When she says a bucket, it was literally No, it was like it was
• 24:21
  quite literally a bucket. Like the ice cream had been
• 24:23
  eaten. Yeah.
• 24:24
  And she had a PO of a straw. And she was like.
• 24:26
  Like she's like one more sip. I'm super thirsty.
• 24:28
  I'm so thirsty. Addicted.
• 24:31
  So addicted. Yeah, she needs to stop.
• 24:33
  So at the end, they always give us, like, a quick update, right?
• 24:35
  And so she has cut back to 40 cups per day.
• 24:40
  Girl, that's more than half. No, I'm.
• 24:42
  I'm very. Proud of her for cutting back
• 24:44
  but still 40 is insane. 40 which I'm probably it's like nothing
• 24:48
  to her. It's nothing.
• 24:49
  She's probably thinks, oh, she also is not drinking after 8:00
• 24:52
  PM because since she's having such a hard time sleeping well,
• 24:57
  if I have coffee after noon, I'm not sleeping.
• 24:59
  I'm. Not sleeping.
• 25:01
  And she's like, yeah, yeah, 8. It's cool, it's cool.
• 25:04
  Yeah, I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't sleep, but it's
• 25:06
  like, whatever. I know.
• 25:08
  Yeah, she's insane. If you're not watching my
• 25:10
  strange Addiction, that's fine. Just come back and watch us.
• 25:13
  We'll tell you all. About We'll tell you everything,
• 25:15
  I promise. All the good ones.
• 25:19
  All right, so you ready? Because I warned you freehand.
• 25:23
  Are you ready? Let's talk about some rats,
• 25:25
  y'all. We've got a rat.
• 25:28
  This specific rat was found in a condemned home in New York.
• 25:33
  Your face is hilarious. And animal rescuers are trying
• 25:37
  to find homes for these condemned rats.
• 25:41
  Don't look at me like that. They deserve homes, too.
• 25:44
  Yes. Are we sure about?
• 25:46
  That yes, they deserve homes, but I don't understand why
• 25:57
  they're in people's homes she didn't have them in cages or
• 26:00
  anything they were pulling them out of the walls yes, because
• 26:03
  this could end home OK so apparently this is what they
• 26:06
  apparently this is what they thought happened they.
• 26:09
  Didn't think it was like a purposeful thing.
• 26:11
  They didn't think they were breeding these rats, right?
• 26:13
  But rats have like every 20 weeks, they have 20 days, 20
• 26:17
  days, 20 days. They can have a.
• 26:19
  Dozen. Rats and they mature within two
• 26:22
  to three weeks, right? So you're having babies upon
• 26:25
  babies upon babies, so many, so many babies.
• 26:30
  And you can't and you can't. And you can't stop them because
• 26:38
  let me let me get a little closer and you can't stop the
• 26:41
  breeding. Of these babies.
• 26:44
  So apparently the home just got infested.
• 26:47
  It's an infestation with the rats and there was nothing they
• 26:50
  could do. There was poop on the floor.
• 26:52
  They were scurrying all over the place and burn it and they've
• 26:58
  only euthanized 10 When the article was happening they only
• 27:02
  euthanized 10 because. They were sick.
• 27:04
  Yeah, they were sick and they were just, it wasn't too much.
• 27:06
  So they got like infections. They've got bites.
• 27:09
  In your face, I can't. It's just why do you have that?
• 27:13
  Like go away from it so close. OK, I have a better picture.
• 27:19
  How about this They a picture from the home, by the way, they
• 27:25
  were everywhere and it was a problem because the home owners,
• 27:29
  they had children in that house, right?
• 27:31
  A toddler sleeping next to these rats poop everywhere.
• 27:36
  They could have gotten sick. So that was the like primary
• 27:39
  like primary reason, you know, they had to have gotten sick.
• 27:43
  So I think they were charged with animal cruelty, neglect and
• 27:47
  endangering the welfare of a child.
• 27:49
  So that was their main thing and they pleaded non guilty.
• 27:53
  Which are you serious? You got to plead not guilty, you
• 27:55
  know, prove it. Proof.
• 27:59
  We've got the proof. It's there.
• 28:01
  But yeah, they're trying to rescue these rats because they
• 28:03
  deserve it. They deserve it.
• 28:06
  They are looking for homes, temporary or permanent homes and
• 28:11
  people from like Virginia and. You're going to foster a rat?
• 28:14
  Why do you say it like that? Yes, I'm going to foster a rat
• 28:21
  because they deserve it. And also they're domesticated
• 28:23
  rats. OK.
• 28:25
  Is that if that makes a difference?
• 28:27
  So, so I get this straight, domesticated rats are different
• 28:32
  how they're domesticated than the ones that you find in the
• 28:36
  sewers and stuff. Yes, they're domesticated.
• 28:39
  That means they have some sort of, you know, they're a little
• 28:42
  bit civil tidy. But keep them in a cage.
• 28:46
  Like if they're in a cage, that's fine.
• 28:47
  You guys. You and your sister used to drag
• 28:49
  me into pet stores to look at the little pink.
• 28:53
  The little babies and domesticated rats.
• 28:56
  They said that these rats are not much different than
• 28:58
  hamsters. But you'll take a hamster in,
• 29:00
  right? Yes, in a cage.
• 29:02
  In a cage, though, it's a rodent.
• 29:05
  Insane, insane. But these babies don't deserve
• 29:10
  look how cute they. Are actually no no with those
• 29:13
  red eyes. They're actually kind of cute
• 29:17
  They. Hate domesticate the white rats,
• 29:22
  I believe. So they said.
• 29:23
  A group of 10 volunteers has spent the last couple of weeks
• 29:26
  rounding up domesticated white rodents at the home.
• 29:29
  They're not domesticated because they are having.
• 29:31
  I wrote that down 20 dozen babies every 20 days.
• 29:36
  They're not domesticated. They were just in a house.
• 29:39
  So domesticated rats can't have domesticated children, No What?
• 29:52
  OK, I am not going to continue falling for this.
• 29:59
  All right, well. All I say is that they're just
• 30:02
  adorable and they deserve are not.
• 30:05
  They deserve to live. Nobody deserves to kill a bunch
• 30:07
  of rats. But yes, they are not cute.
• 30:10
  They're a little bit cute. How did you put it back to the
• 30:15
  Are you literally itchy? OK, that's fine.
• 30:17
  We are fine, I promise. But yeah, so they deserve homes
• 30:21
  and they're still looking for homes for.
• 30:23
  Those. So if you want a rat, go to get
• 30:26
  one at from New York. They got plenty of rats for you.
• 30:30
  OK. All right.
• 30:32
  OK. We are OK.
• 30:36
  Speaking of New York, yes, so during the Super Bowl, Bad
• 30:42
  Bunny, apparently people in New York, everybody in New York was
• 30:47
  watching and holding it. You know what I mean by holding
• 30:51
  it? Because in the 15 minutes I need
• 30:55
  to get my notes here, in the 15 minutes after the Super Bowl
• 31:00
  ended, every toilet in New York flesh at the.
• 31:03
  Same time. That is amazing.
• 31:08
  That is absolutely amazing. I thought that was so funny
• 31:11
  because you could pause. We all of our TV's pause.
• 31:16
  No, but there's something about knowing that you're watching a
• 31:18
  live with. Everyone else, Everybody.
• 31:21
  No, because it was a great show. It was fantastic.
• 31:24
  It was such a fun performance. It was great seeing all the
• 31:27
  people dancing on the porch. The message which I put up on
• 31:30
  the screen is great. The only thing more powerful
• 31:32
  than hate is love. Because yes.
• 31:36
  And everybody wanted to see it live and they held it.
• 31:40
  They held it. So for what other artists are
• 31:42
  they gonna hold it? Real Puerto Rico baby Puerto
• 31:45
  Rican. 'S all in New York.
• 31:46
  You know they held it too. I had it last year cuz right for
• 31:49
  Kendrick, yeah, we held that. We held it, but it's history.
• 31:53
  You have to witness history live, live.
• 31:55
  Exactly. And I'm not trying to cuz you
• 31:57
  know, you sitting on the toilet, you got your phone.
• 31:58
  I'm not trying to get anything. Spoiled for me, absolutely.
• 32:02
  Not and yes. Toilet with the phone,
• 32:04
  absolutely. But yeah, it's just, I thought
• 32:07
  that was hilarious. Other Department of Water
• 32:08
  released that stat. They were just like, see every
• 32:11
  toilet. It's on the ground journalism
• 32:13
  that I'm talking about. Okay, this is what I want to
• 32:16
  know what's important. That was just a short little
• 32:23
  thing we saw. We thought that was hilarious
• 32:25
  and we wanted to share and I also.
• 32:26
  Wanted to make sure I put Bad Bunny's message out there.
• 32:29
  Yeah, because it really was a great show if you even if you
• 32:32
  didn't watch the Super Bowl. She's like me it.
• 32:38
  Was great, good for them. But the halftime show, honestly,
• 32:41
  what, three years? Oh, they've been great. 3-4
• 32:44
  years, been really, really good. So yeah, good for him, good for
• 32:48
  everyone, for everyone. Unity, yes.
• 32:54
  And now we shall go back to what y'all are here for anyway.
• 32:58
  Y'all ants like I've got another Reddit off my chest.
• 33:03
  Great. Said my brother ruined
• 33:04
  everything for us because of his stupidity.
• 33:07
  OK Heavy, I don't even know where to start.
• 33:11
  I'm actually about to break down right now and punch my window.
• 33:14
  I've never felt this angry. We've had this trip planned for
• 33:17
  almost a year, a week in France. We had a hotel booked in.
• 33:22
  It's spelled Nice, but how do you nitza nitza?
• 33:27
  That's confusing activities planned and my dad's been
• 33:32
  talking about it non-stop. Most importantly, I've had an
• 33:35
  online friend on Twitter that lives there and we've been very
• 33:38
  excitedly talking everyday about meeting up for the first time
• 33:41
  and making plans now that might be ruined.
• 33:44
  I can't even bring myself to respond to her right now.
• 33:46
  I've been stressed out of my mind with school and exams and
• 33:49
  this was the only thing I was looking forward to.
• 33:52
  Dang, what do you do? This morning we were already
• 33:54
  cutting it close because my 21 year old brother couldn't wake
• 33:57
  up. He's 21 and my parents still
• 34:00
  have to go to his room multiple times to get him up because he
• 34:03
  was on discord or whatever till 3:00 AM like usual.
• 34:06
  What? We had something planned bro.
• 34:09
  I was already irritated but whatever.
• 34:11
  Fine, he gets up and we're still OK.
• 34:14
  Then we drive 2 hours to the airport.
• 34:16
  We get there and about an hour before boarding, which already
• 34:19
  stressed me out because international flights freak me
• 34:21
  out multiple times. We check in all of our bags and
• 34:25
  we're fine until we go through the security lines.
• 34:28
  My idiot brother forgot his passport.
• 34:30
  He forgot his passport. I knew it.
• 34:34
  I could strangle him. I knew it as soon as yes he
• 34:40
  realized it. Literally while we're about to
• 34:42
  pass through security, after we had already checked our luggage.
• 34:46
  After my aunt who dropped us off had left and was on the way
• 34:49
  home. 2 hours on the way home by the way.
• 34:51
  I swear my soul left my body. At first we thought maybe he
• 34:55
  shoved it in his checked bag by accident so all three of us were
• 34:58
  tearing through our carry ONS right there on the floor like
• 35:01
  idiots and everyone was stepping around us.
• 35:03
  My dad runs back to the counter to ask if we can retrieve the
• 35:06
  checked bag and they said no, not realistically in time
• 35:10
  because they arrived too late. Yeah, because of him.
• 35:14
  We're all ripping open every zipper hoping it magically
• 35:17
  teleported into one of our bags. It wasn't there, so now we're
• 35:20
  stuck at the airport with no passport and no ride.
• 35:23
  We Oh my God, save I I wasn't sure 21 I used to say that, but
• 35:29
  I am leaving. He is 21.
• 35:31
  Get your ass back home. OK, we going to see you.
• 35:34
  And we going to niece. Is that is it?
• 35:36
  Niece, Niece, niece? We're going.
• 35:38
  To niece and you can leave weed. My aunt had already been driving
• 35:47
  for a while and I had to call her to ask her to turn around
• 35:50
  mid drive and come and get us again.
• 35:52
  And my voice was cracking the whole time.
• 35:54
  You know that anger that like makes you want to cry?
• 35:56
  Yeah, I feel her. I was so embarrassed, like
• 35:59
  actually humiliated, just standing there with all of our
• 36:02
  stuff, knowing that we missed our flight because my grown
• 36:04
  adult brother couldn't be bothered to make sure he had the
• 36:08
  1 document you absolutely need to leave the country.
• 36:11
  And he couldn't even do that. In the whole 8 months that we
• 36:14
  have planned for the trip, he had eight months to make sure
• 36:16
  that he had that passport. I know we missed our boarding
• 36:21
  time and then the flight. Obviously every minute was
• 36:24
  painful. We had to sit in silence for our
• 36:26
  luggage to be returned if it was not in there, and we drove 2
• 36:29
  hours back home in silence while I cried silently in the back.
• 36:33
  First of all, I'm not crying silently.
• 36:34
  Everybody going to hear this. I'm sobbing looking at it.
• 36:38
  Also y'all are. Hearing my mouth, I do not care.
• 36:42
  You are hearing my mouth. Then we get back and we were
• 36:45
  expected it to be in this drawer or something and we just pick it
• 36:48
  up and go back. Nope.
• 36:49
  We tore the house apart for hours.
• 36:51
  I tore everything apart trying to find it.
• 36:53
  I didn't even care. Every random pile of mail, me,
• 36:56
  my dad, even my mom on FaceTime at work.
• 36:59
  We're trying to think of places it could be.
• 37:00
  It was nowhere. And my brother, he looks for
• 37:03
  maybe 15 minutes and then just kind of gives up.
• 37:06
  He's like, I don't know where it is and just stands there
• 37:09
  slouching and moping while our whole family is looking
• 37:12
  everywhere, including the garage in the bottom of the trash bin.
• 37:15
  And then he goes to use the bathroom and 5 minutes in while
• 37:18
  I'm passing it, I hear him scrolling through Instagram
• 37:20
  reels. I'm we're fighting.
• 37:24
  I'm sorry, we're fighting. Like he didn't just potentially
• 37:27
  cost us thousands of dollars and a round trip we've been planning
• 37:31
  for a year. Oh my God I know you are the
• 37:35
  reason we're here and you're barely even trying.
• 37:37
  He has no idea where it is, no memory of when he last used it.
• 37:41
  Look at this, he tried to pin it on my mom because she cleaned
• 37:44
  his room for like cleaned his room to call him out his name
• 37:49
  because he cleaned his room like 3 months ago before Christmas.
• 37:52
  Yes, a grown man still has his mom vacuum and clean for him and
• 37:56
  he said she might have taken it but Nope.
• 37:59
  All of us remember having dinner just a week ago and specifically
• 38:02
  asking if he had his passport and everything ready and he said
• 38:05
  don't worry. I'm mad at my dad too because he
• 38:09
  knows how who my brother is. He knows he forgets everything.
• 38:12
  He can't even wake up on time for his job which starts at 11.
• 38:15
  Oh my God. Why didn't he make him
• 38:18
  physically show the passport last night?
• 38:21
  Why wasn't he on him about it before we left the house?
• 38:24
  Why does everyone just accept that he's like this Now
• 38:27
  everything is up in the air and I don't even know.
• 38:29
  The flight is missed, the hotels are booked and there's still no
• 38:32
  passport and I don't even care anymore.
• 38:34
  It's almost night time now. I don't even know if we're going
• 38:36
  anymore. Been stressed all year and this
• 38:38
  was supposed to be the one thing I was excited for and like
• 38:41
  everything else, it got ruined. Oh, I feel so bad for her.
• 38:45
  But I go back to I would have been in nice.
• 38:48
  Yeah, I would have been gone because actions have
• 38:52
  consequences. Yes, that part and that's the
• 38:54
  thing and it's like not to dump on the parents but but 21 year
• 38:58
  old has never faced consequences.
• 39:00
  He was sitting there after the whole family got their trip got
• 39:03
  ruined and they are the ones looking for your passport and
• 39:06
  you're scrolling Instagram. Yeah, we'd have to fight.
• 39:11
  I'm sorry. We are fighting like furniture
• 39:13
  is moving. That part in the airport, on the
• 39:16
  car ride home and in our house. Furniture is moving.
• 39:20
  Absolutely. Because absolutely not.
• 39:22
  Are you kidding me? No, I'd.
• 39:25
  I'm so mad right now just thinking about this because I'm
• 39:28
  mad at my parents for even suggesting that now we all have
• 39:31
  to stay because of his. Failure to plan exactly his OK,
• 39:36
  either auntie would have turned around and come back or he would
• 39:38
  have taken his little work money and bonna got an Uber to go home
• 39:42
  and go home. Because this trip wasn't
• 39:44
  important to you to begin with. Because if it was, and if you
• 39:47
  were excited just like I was, you would have made sure you had
• 39:50
  everything that you needed exactly.
• 39:51
  But you didn't do that. Therefore, I will send you a
• 39:55
  picture from Italy. I won't even send him a picture.
• 39:58
  He can kick rocks, you know, that's mad frustrating and I
• 40:02
  know he's 21 years old, but if you know he's like this and you
• 40:04
  insist on bringing him regardless, make sure that you
• 40:09
  physically see everything. His passport has everything like
• 40:13
  he is a child. Make sure that he has
• 40:15
  everything, because yes, this apparently effects you too so.
• 40:19
  I'm not missing a flight. For that, absolutely not.
• 40:21
  No, no, no update. I know she's just furious
• 40:27
  because she had just she was writing it that night as she was
• 40:30
  mad. But I will keep an eye on it.
• 40:31
  Like did she kill him? That's the valid officer.
• 40:37
  She's guilty. I promise she was with me, OK?
• 40:44
  I know. Would I be the asshole for suing
• 40:46
  my friend when she didn't come to my wedding?
• 40:49
  Yes. I need contacts please.
• 40:53
  So I-25 female recently got married to my husband who's also
• 40:56
  25 in Bali, Indonesia in January.
• 41:00
  I know right? So she didn't want to go.
• 41:02
  I could have gone. It was a destination wedding.
• 41:06
  My parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and
• 41:09
  hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel
• 41:11
  stays. That's nice right?
• 41:13
  Each plane ticket was about $2000 and hotels were 150 to 300
• 41:18
  for a week. All right.
• 41:20
  That's very kind of that. Right.
• 41:23
  My friend Gemma brought along her newlywed husband John and
• 41:28
  paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and
• 41:32
  John did not show up to my wedding.
• 41:35
  Gemma used the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room that
• 41:38
  I paid for and when I asked her why she didn't show up, she said
• 41:42
  that since they couldn't afford their own honeymoon that this
• 41:45
  was a perfect opportunity. You're.
• 41:47
  Lying. You are lying on my dime.
• 41:51
  Also, Jim decided he didn't feel like going to my wedding.
• 41:56
  You never planned on coming to my wedding.
• 41:59
  Y'all were like. Perfect.
• 42:00
  All they have to do is pay for him to get there.
• 42:03
  Perfect. Are you kidding me?
• 42:05
  I did not sign up to pay for your.
• 42:06
  Honeymoon. I was really hurt by this since
• 42:10
  Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years.
• 42:13
  Would I be the asshole if I took her to small claims court for
• 42:16
  the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?
• 42:19
  No, absolutely not. OK.
• 42:24
  And I hope you enjoyed your honeymoon.
• 42:26
  I hope on me, on my dime. The nerve of you.
• 42:30
  Oh my goodness. I mean, the audacity to use the
• 42:33
  things that I bought because I wanted you to go to my wedding
• 42:37
  and then just be like, oh, we didn't feel like going is
• 42:39
  insane. Who said you couldn't have gone
• 42:42
  to my wedding, stayed later, enjoyed your honeymoon and just
• 42:47
  pay for the return? Exactly, pay for the return.
• 42:49
  Well that's the thing, round trip and the hotel.
• 42:53
  So if you want to stay any longer, just pay for those extra
• 42:55
  few days. And that's still a really great
• 42:57
  deal on a honeymoon. Exactly.
• 42:59
  But you didn't even go. You didn't even go.
• 43:01
  You ditched me completely. That is so rude.
• 43:05
  Judge Milian, we go on a small claims court right now are.
• 43:08
  Going I want the smoke. All of it.
• 43:11
  That's the worst reason I ever could have thought.
• 43:14
  Because what I know. You never planned on going in
• 43:17
  the 1st place. No she didn't.
• 43:19
  She was like this is actually great.
• 43:20
  I've always wanted to go to Bali.
• 43:22
  Let's have our honeymoon instead.
• 43:26
  Just gross. We are no longer friends and I'm
• 43:28
  getting my money back. Excuse you.
• 43:31
  So nasty. I got another Reddit off my
• 43:34
  chest. I'm sorry, but this subreddit
• 43:36
  was cracking this week. I was like, y'all give me the
• 43:38
  stories. We go where the stories lead us.
• 43:40
  Okay. And people were trying to get it
• 43:42
  off their chest. All right, so this one has a
• 43:44
  little bit of Spanish and just I'm putting it out there.
• 43:46
  I did take Spanish in high school, but do not hold that
• 43:48
  against me. That was forever.
• 43:50
  I got well, I haven't been in school in so long.
• 43:52
  All right, all right, read it off my chest.
• 43:56
  I've been teaching my racist grandfather fake Spanish for two
• 44:00
  years and he's accidentally becoming a better person.
• 44:02
  Oh hell yeah. Right OK my grandfather is 83
• 44:06
  and racist as hell. Great start.
• 44:13
  The way he'll say things like why do we have to speak Mexican
• 44:17
  in public? And I just don't trust them
• 44:20
  about literally any brown person.
• 44:24
  I'm sorry racism is so fucking stupid.
• 44:29
  Explain to me why. I just don't trust him.
• 44:32
  Reasoning behind like, you can't even.
• 44:35
  That's so stupid. He said he grew up in rural
• 44:39
  Ohio. Damn, it's another loss for
• 44:42
  Ohio. OK, we lived in Ohio for a
• 44:43
  little while. It's a loss.
• 44:46
  It's not even the city, he said. Rural, he said he worked at the
• 44:50
  same factory for 40 years, never left the Midwest.
• 44:53
  He's been like this my whole life.
• 44:55
  We've all tried to talk to him, my mom, my aunt and even me
• 44:58
  After a few beers at Thanksgiving.
• 45:00
  He doesn't listen. He's 83 and definitely not
• 45:02
  changing. Except he is because of me.
• 45:06
  Through lies. So my grandpa moved to Sunrise
• 45:11
  Senior Living in Toledo two years after grandma died and he
• 45:14
  couldn't keep the house anymore. His main character is a woman
• 45:18
  named Rosa. She's from Guatemala, been in
• 45:20
  the US for like 15 years, and has two kids in the high school.
• 45:23
  She's incredible patient, kind. Gets my grandpa to take his
• 45:27
  blood pressure meds, which is a miracle because he's convinced
• 45:29
  they're too expensive to work. He was called to.
• 45:32
  Her stop what? They're too expensive to
• 45:36
  actually work, they're past my price range, therefore they will
• 45:38
  not work on me. On my poor body apparently.
• 45:40
  Like I don't think that's how Med works.
• 45:43
  But I don't think so. But hey, but.
• 45:45
  Sure, that works. He was closer at first.
• 45:48
  You can tell it was a race thing.
• 45:50
  He talked to the white nurses, fine.
• 45:52
  But with Rosa, it was one word answers and no eye contact.
• 45:55
  One day I'm visiting. It's a Sunday.
• 45:57
  I brought him those butter cookies from Costco he likes so
• 46:00
  good. By the way, the butter cookies
• 46:01
  in the in the tin. Yeah, literally.
• 46:05
  So good. Rosa brings his lunch, Turkey
• 46:08
  sandwich, apple juice, a cup of pills, and he just grunts at her
• 46:11
  and doesn't say thank you. I've watched this man thank
• 46:14
  waitresses and Bob Evans his whole life.
• 46:17
  He just won't do it for her. So after she leaves, I said,
• 46:21
  grandpa, you should say thank you in Spanish.
• 46:23
  She'd really appreciate that. And he goes, I'm not learning
• 46:26
  Mexican. And I don't know what possessed
• 46:28
  me to say it's easy. Just say, oh God, tequiero,
• 46:33
  tequiero, I love you. Tequiero, tequiero, which is
• 46:37
  thank you. Tequiero does not mean thank
• 46:42
  you. It means I love you.
• 46:47
  He practiced it like 3 times and his accent is awful.
• 46:50
  I told him it was perfect. He said it to her the next day.
• 46:54
  She looked so confused for a second then looked at me.
• 46:56
  I was sitting by the window pretending to read People
• 46:59
  magazine and I just slightly shook my head.
• 47:01
  She understood immediately. This woman is a St.
• 47:04
  She just smiled and said then nada and walked out.
• 47:08
  Oh I love. President, I know that was two
• 47:10
  years ago. I visit every Sunday and I've
• 47:12
  been teaching him fake Spanish ever since.
• 47:15
  Here's his current vocabulary. I'm sorry, TE quiero means thank
• 47:18
  you. It actually means I love you.
• 47:20
  Eres MI familia means good morning.
• 47:22
  It actually means you're my family.
• 47:24
  Mia cortisone means excuse me, it's actually my heart.
• 47:30
  Quedios TE Bendika. I think sure it means see you
• 47:36
  later. It actually means God bless you.
• 47:38
  And eres unhail means sorry. It's actually in.
• 47:41
  You're an Angel. That's amazing.
• 47:45
  That's amazing. Literally the fact that she got
• 47:47
  him to actually learn. That to actually learn these
• 47:49
  things, even when he said it, I'm not going to learn Mexican.
• 47:54
  Something shifted. I don't know if it's because
• 47:56
  he's saying these words out loud even without knowing what they
• 47:58
  mean, or if Rosa started being warmer to him because she thinks
• 48:01
  it's hilarious, but there's. He's different with her now.
• 48:04
  He asked about her kids. He remembers their names.
• 48:07
  He saved a cookie from its lunch last week, one of the butter
• 48:09
  ones I bring, and gave it to her.
• 48:11
  What? And he does love her.
• 48:14
  OK. He told my mom on the phone that
• 48:16
  Rose is one of the good ones. Which is still racist, but like,
• 48:20
  progress. Yeah, I guess because there's
• 48:23
  only a handful. Literally the bar is
• 48:26
  underground, but he's digging towards it.
• 48:30
  That's funny, but Rosa knows everything.
• 48:34
  We talk about it while he naps at lunch, which is usually
• 48:37
  around 1:30. Like clockwork, we sit in the
• 48:40
  hallway by the vending machine and I teach her the next phrase
• 48:42
  to expect. It's like reverse but it's so.
• 48:46
  Funny, I love this. She says she's never had a
• 48:49
  patient tell her if she's an Angel 6 times a day.
• 48:52
  She calls him MI estudiante and he thinks it means Sir students.
• 48:56
  Yeah. She showed me a video of him
• 48:58
  practicing ER as MI familia in the mirror and I almost cried
• 49:02
  laughing in the Wendy's parking lot earlier.
• 49:05
  My family doesn't know. My mom visits on Wednesday and
• 49:08
  just thinks grandpa's mailing out his old age.
• 49:11
  My aunt thinks the facility is doing something right.
• 49:13
  They don't know it's because I've tricked him to speaking
• 49:15
  love to a woman he's ignored 2 years ago.
• 49:18
  My only fear is if he goes into the dining hall and tries a
• 49:21
  Spanish on someone else. Or my cousin brings her
• 49:24
  boyfriend who actually speaks Spanish and grandpa thinks him
• 49:27
  by saying I love you my heart. I'll deal with it when it
• 49:30
  happens. Exactly.
• 49:32
  Wait, where's my green flag? I think that's the best thing.
• 49:36
  Ever. That was one of the best ones I
• 49:38
  read. I was like, that's so cute.
• 49:40
  That's really sweet and the fact that she's just like, OK, this
• 49:43
  is how I'm going to change him It's it's harmless.
• 49:47
  It's actually doing a lot of good because he's speaking to
• 49:50
  her like a normal human being. I mean, she's keeping you alive,
• 49:54
  bro. I could I could miss one day
• 49:57
  and. I could get your dosage
• 50:00
  incorrect. And you're gone.
• 50:01
  It's like. Like be nice to that person.
• 50:05
  It's not. Hard, but I think it's so.
• 50:06
  Sweet. Yeah.
• 50:08
  I love that. That is actually really sweet.
• 50:10
  Way to go for the granddaughter. I know she's like you love her,
• 50:14
  you know you love her. And good for Rosa.
• 50:18
  I mean, that's a first of all, just doing that type of job
• 50:21
  period for anybody, even the people who are nice to you.
• 50:23
  It's really hard. It's really hard and it takes a
• 50:26
  lot. And I know I couldn't do it.
• 50:28
  And so to do that for somebody who's being actively racist and.
• 50:31
  Meaning to you and you still show up and give him his pills
• 50:34
  and still they're usually still really kind.
• 50:37
  It's like the least you can sue is say thank you, thank you.
• 50:41
  Just a quick thank you. I love that.
• 50:44
  That was a good one. He doesn't.
• 50:47
  He doesn't. It's a simple.
• 50:49
  Grassy house, but it's like. No, he says.
• 50:51
  I love you. I like to get all right.
• 50:56
  Mine is not sweet. Sorry.
• 50:58
  I. Try to mellow it out y'all.
• 51:01
  Am I overreacting? My boyfriend said he wouldn't go
• 51:04
  to his new job if I was mean to him.
• 51:08
  OK sensitive much? Yeah I live with my boyfriend.
• 51:11
  We're both in our mid 30s and a tween aged kid and I have been
• 51:15
  paying 100% of the bills since my boyfriend told me he was laid
• 51:18
  off nearly two years ago. I found out later that he was
• 51:21
  actually he actually quit. OK, yeah.
• 51:25
  Throughout this time I have been struggling a lot with my health
• 51:28
  and overworking myself to keep everyone in the household fed
• 51:31
  and sheltered. I often pleaded with him to find
• 51:35
  a job, any job, something, and every day I come home from work
• 51:38
  to find him either sleeping or playing a video game.
• 51:41
  Not even trying. Eventually I told him that
• 51:46
  because we couldn't survive as a family on one income alone, I
• 51:50
  would need to find a second job, and if I found a second job
• 51:54
  before he had one, the relationship would be over.
• 51:57
  Oh, I like that. That's a good ultimatum,
• 52:00
  actually. Exactly.
• 52:01
  Very good. Well I have two jobs now,
• 52:05
  working 60 to 70 hours a week and I'm more exhausted than I
• 52:08
  have ever been. I've been looking at apartments
• 52:11
  and planning to take my kid, not his, and just leave him there.
• 52:15
  But I've also been keeping him in the loop that now is
• 52:18
  definitely the time to find a job because if he doesn't, he
• 52:21
  will eventually be homeless. Not the second chance.
• 52:26
  I feel like no, I already got the job.
• 52:27
  We're good. Like no.
• 52:28
  But she's just like, no, I'm actively looking for an
• 52:30
  apartment. You're going to be homeless,
• 52:32
  just so you know, as soon as I find this.
• 52:33
  Yeah. So she's keeping him in the
• 52:35
  loop. I have been a lot more cold and
• 52:39
  distant and needing more alone time.
• 52:41
  I don't have the patience to emotionally cater to him
• 52:43
  anymore. So I have just been being a lot
• 52:45
  more blunt and honest, he says. All of this is mean.
• 52:49
  Aw. I'm sorry your little feelings,
• 52:52
  my little Violet. I feel for you.
• 52:57
  I do yell sometimes like for example.
• 53:05
  I mean I mean I do yell sometimes like for example when
• 53:10
  I tell him I'm exhausted from work and need some time to just
• 53:13
  chill and not talk to anybody and he leaves but then comes
• 53:16
  barging in every 5 minutes to tell me something.
• 53:18
  Eventually I will snap. I always try to communicate my
• 53:22
  needs calmly first but he ignores them unless I'm mean.
• 53:26
  My God, is he a child? This week, he finally got a job.
• 53:31
  Hallelujah. He's very excited about it and I
• 53:35
  was very happy for him until he said, quote, if you're mean to
• 53:39
  me, I just won't go. You already had one strike
• 53:42
  today. You have two more strikes left.
• 53:45
  You giving me a strike system? You are in the gutter right now
• 53:50
  bro. Yes.
• 53:51
  I just looked at him and said that's stupid, he said.
• 53:55
  I know it's stupid, that's why I'm telling you so you won't be
• 53:58
  mean to me. I asked if he would really
• 54:00
  sabotage his own self just out of spite for me and he said yes.
• 54:08
  Oh that part we would have been up and out of there.
• 54:13
  I said absolutely not, we are fucking done.
• 54:16
  I'm not going to let you blame me for your decisions and
• 54:19
  actions. And he continued to argue that
• 54:20
  he was in the right and I'm just mean.
• 54:23
  We could have like a. Drinking game for the word mean.
• 54:26
  I'm so mean. So I walked out the door.
• 54:29
  My head is spinning. I'm thinking of just picking up
• 54:31
  my kid from school and taking us to a hotel.
• 54:34
  Am I overreacting or am I just mean no and I'm not going to a
• 54:38
  hotel? No he can bounce.
• 54:41
  If he steps 1 foot outside that door, his shit is out.
• 54:44
  Troll, change the locks, your stuff will be on the patio, come
• 54:49
  get it. And now you really don't need
• 54:51
  that job. I bet it's like a part time job
• 54:52
  too. Something pathetic, like he's
• 54:54
  barely stepped over the line. And he's like, quit being mean
• 54:56
  to me, Rose, I'm not going to go.
• 54:58
  Bro what? What?
• 55:00
  He is literally a child that made me so mad and you're going
• 55:05
  to give me? Strikes right Seriously like
• 55:09
  you're punishing me like I am already working 2 jobs 70 hours
• 55:14
  a week and he's like well I just won't help you out if you don't
• 55:16
  stop being mean. This is not about me first of
• 55:19
  all, this is about you. You, you need to survive because
• 55:21
  I already told you you about to be out on your.
• 55:23
  On your own. I'm doing fine.
• 55:27
  I will take care of my child. Yes, we'll be fine.
• 55:31
  We will be fine. Two years You've been putting up
• 55:33
  with this. Seriously.
• 55:35
  Two years of unemployment, too. You know he works at Wendy's.
• 55:38
  What could what could he get? He didn't even get unemployment
• 55:42
  because he quit. Wendy's came to Australia bio
• 55:46
  sorry sorry. Your chicken sandwiches are
• 55:48
  amazing. Wendy's call me and the.
• 55:49
  Frosties put a little fry in there.
• 55:53
  Y'all be? Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean that.
• 55:58
  But by giving me strikes like I did something wrong?
• 56:02
  Absolutely not. Excuse you.
• 56:04
  Not overreacting. Not All right.
• 56:09
  I got another one. Read it off my chest.
• 56:10
  I know. I'm really digging in.
• 56:13
  Cheers. Should I continue babysitting
• 56:16
  for a lady whose baby is a doll? What?
• 56:22
  I thought you meant like a doll. Like she's so cute.
• 56:24
  She's a doll. Oh no she's a doll.
• 56:26
  She's a doll. The baby is a doll.
• 56:27
  OK I-19 female posted an advertisement that I babysit.
• 56:33
  A lady from the area responded that she has an 11 month year
• 56:36
  old baby that I'll call Toby. I told her it'll be 13 year olds
• 56:40
  an hour and she said that's fine she'll be gone for three hours.
• 56:44
  When I turned up she greeted me while holding what looks like a
• 56:47
  baby. She handed me it saying this is
• 56:49
  Toby. I then realized it was a doll.
• 56:51
  Oh my God. I wasn't sure if maybe she had
• 56:53
  given me a doll to give to Toby or if she actually wanted me to
• 56:56
  babysit the doll, so I asked is there any other children in the
• 56:59
  house? So if I had misunderstood her I
• 57:01
  could pass off as joking about it and I wouldn't upset her if
• 57:04
  she really did think the doll was a baby.
• 57:06
  She said no, just Toby. OK.
• 57:11
  She made me aware there's baby monitors around the house so she
• 57:14
  didn't have stop laughing. I can barely get through this,
• 57:21
  she is wasting so much money. Babysitter baby monitors for a
• 57:25
  doll for a doll just so she can have Peace of Mind that he's OK.
• 57:29
  I said of course and she kissed the doll in the head before
• 57:31
  leaving. I basically just paid pretend
• 57:34
  like the doll was real hugging it.
• 57:36
  I found a bouncer, she had left and it slept in the crib.
• 57:39
  I went to the toilet at one point and on the wall there was
• 57:41
  a picture of a real baby that looks similar to the doll.
• 57:44
  Damn yeah so I'm assuming this is her way of grieving.
• 57:48
  I cried a bit to myself in the bathroom at this realization but
• 57:52
  I put on a happy face and went downstairs and continue looking
• 57:55
  after the baby. Changed his nappies so that her
• 57:58
  watching she could have Peace of Mind.
• 57:59
  Right when she came back and she asked how how he was.
• 58:02
  I told her he was so well behaved.
• 58:04
  I said basically he was the more well behaved babies then I've.
• 58:08
  I only had to change him once every hour.
• 58:11
  She messaged me again saying if I could babysit another time.
• 58:14
  I haven't responded. My friends don't think I should
• 58:16
  do this because it's taking advantage of her when she's
• 58:18
  clearly mentally ill. I wouldn't want to take
• 58:21
  advantage of her. This is a really sad situation.
• 58:24
  I also think I should tell her that it's just a doll but I
• 58:26
  don't know if I should do that. I don't know if that's the best
• 58:29
  way to go about the situation and I'm just, it's really not my
• 58:31
  place, do I do? I don't know, I'm not a
• 58:34
  therapist, but it sounds harmless enough.
• 58:39
  Enough, but I don't want her wasting her money.
• 58:41
  Oh, she's giving her money freely like she thinks even if
• 58:46
  she because she knows this is not a real child, but this is a
• 58:49
  stand in for the child that she clearly lost.
• 58:52
  And so she this is helping her. You know, we just watch My
• 58:57
  Strange addiction like people do things to help after a trauma or
• 59:02
  after a loss and. Just from my opinion, like I
• 59:07
  would go watch the baby for her. Absolutely.
• 59:09
  I'd go watch the baby and that baby would be fed, slept well.
• 59:13
  OK, Yeah, we are taking care of Toby because.
• 59:16
  That's what she needs. She needs this to be able to
• 59:18
  because she needs to overcome. Like, hopefully she is in
• 59:21
  therapy, or maybe we'll go soon. Yeah, to be able to deal with
• 59:25
  her loss. Exactly.
• 59:26
  But in the meantime, it doesn't do anybody any good to be mean
• 59:29
  to her. Be like it is not real.
• 59:31
  Yeah, like that. Hang on.
• 59:33
  Yeah, hang on. I think if it goes on for, like,
• 59:37
  years and it turns into a whole thing, or she's like, cut a pet
• 59:40
  with the baby with a doll and she starts neglecting other
• 59:44
  parts of her life because of this, that's when it becomes a
• 59:47
  problem, when it becomes harmful for her and other people.
• 59:49
  But right now, let her hire a babysitter for her baby for a
• 59:54
  couple of hours. You know, that makes me sad.
• 59:57
  I know. I hope she's OK.
• 1:00:00
  Yeah. All right, am I the asshole for
• 1:00:03
  telling our roommate she might need to move out if she keeps
• 1:00:06
  complaining about hearing us at night?
• 1:00:09
  Hearing who? My boyfriend and I let a friend
• 1:00:14
  he's known since childhood stay at our place because housing is
• 1:00:18
  expensive and her university is nearby.
• 1:00:20
  She stays here five days a week and goes home on weekends.
• 1:00:24
  We don't charge her rent and we pay for utilities and groceries
• 1:00:27
  while she's here. She has her own bathroom and
• 1:00:30
  full access to basically everything, the kitchen, pool,
• 1:00:33
  sauna, etcetera. Well, her bedroom isn't next to
• 1:00:38
  ours. Between our bedroom and her
• 1:00:40
  space is a computer slash workroom and her bathroom is
• 1:00:43
  also in between, so there's some separation.
• 1:00:45
  A few months ago she told us she could hear us being intimate at
• 1:00:48
  night and it made her uncomfortable.
• 1:00:50
  We said we'd try to be quieter when she's around.
• 1:00:53
  Since then, she has brought it up multiple times.
• 1:00:56
  Recently she asked if she could switch rooms.
• 1:00:59
  The only rooms we could realistically swap would be the
• 1:01:01
  one my 7 year old sister uses when she sleeps over, or my
• 1:01:04
  hobby room. All the other rooms are already
• 1:01:06
  set up permanently. We don't want to rearrange our
• 1:01:09
  home for this, especially since we intended to help her out.
• 1:01:12
  After the last complaint, I told her calmly but firmly that we've
• 1:01:17
  adjusted as much as we think is fair.
• 1:01:19
  I said if this will keep being an issue, maybe this living
• 1:01:22
  situation just isn't a good fit and she might need to find
• 1:01:25
  another place to stay. She thinks I'm being unfair.
• 1:01:28
  Am I the asshole? I.
• 1:01:29
  Don't think so actually, because you got a luxury situation right
• 1:01:33
  here, a sauna that shows that this house is no one.
• 1:01:36
  You are comfortable up in there. You are comfortable.
• 1:01:39
  Exactly. OK, Get you some noise
• 1:01:44
  cancelling and get you some sleep.
• 1:01:46
  You feel me? OK, no rent.
• 1:01:48
  You're not paying food, utilities, nothing.
• 1:01:50
  And you don't have to drive back and forth wherever you live.
• 1:01:52
  Yeah. So the fact that you felt
• 1:01:54
  comfortable enough to come to me with any sort of complaint.
• 1:01:57
  Girl, no girl, bye. Get you some noise cancelling or
• 1:02:00
  go home or go home. You go home on the weekends
• 1:02:03
  anyway. Sorry.
• 1:02:05
  This is my house. Period.
• 1:02:07
  You know what I mean? There are things that you can do
• 1:02:11
  to help yourself better. But anyway, I'm enjoying my life
• 1:02:13
  so. Exactly.
• 1:02:14
  Goodbye. Calm down.
• 1:02:17
  Real. No, no, I got one.
• 1:02:21
  It's OK. It's OK, it's.
• 1:02:23
  OK, it's relationship advice. Is it time for me, 32 male to
• 1:02:28
  leave my pregnant girlfriend 26 female?
• 1:02:32
  I'm at my breaking point. My partner and I are expecting
• 1:02:35
  our first child. While she can be sweet, she has
• 1:02:37
  a pattern of blowing up at me publicly whenever she's upset
• 1:02:40
  and it's reached a level where I feel totally defeated and erased
• 1:02:43
  as a father. To give you an idea of the
• 1:02:46
  dynamic, the Taco shop he he names.
• 1:02:48
  The the situation. OK, we got the Taco shop.
• 1:02:51
  Got it. The Taco shop.
• 1:02:52
  I ran into an old high school friend at a Taco shop and she
• 1:02:55
  was texting my partner updates. To be transparent, she showed up
• 1:02:58
  at the shop already screaming at me in public and forced me to
• 1:03:01
  call the girl on the spot so she could explain herself.
• 1:03:04
  I was humiliated. Wait, so he ran into a female
• 1:03:07
  friend at the Taco shop and then she showed?
• 1:03:10
  Up screamed at him and yeah, OK, I know the breakup text.
• 1:03:15
  I love how he's naming. I mean.
• 1:03:17
  Give it to me. Recently I missed a call because
• 1:03:21
  I was on the other line with my guy friend.
• 1:03:23
  I texted her I'd call her right back.
• 1:03:25
  She spiraled, blew up my phone, and then texted our pastor and
• 1:03:28
  therapist telling them the relationship was officially
• 1:03:31
  over, only to get back at me to 24 hours later.
• 1:03:34
  The emotional whiplash was a lot.
• 1:03:36
  Girl stop. I know this is toxic.
• 1:03:38
  The last one, the family group chat, I mentioned inviting a
• 1:03:43
  male friend to the baby shower. She didn't like him, so instead
• 1:03:46
  of calling me privately, she blasted me in the family group
• 1:03:49
  chat. She tried to weaponize our
• 1:03:51
  therapist's advice incorrectly to shame me in front of my
• 1:03:54
  family and then told everyone the shower was off.
• 1:03:56
  Oh I know the biggest issue is the gatekeeping.
• 1:04:00
  She has removed me from the baby group chats when she's mad and
• 1:04:03
  tells me basically to take a back seat with planning.
• 1:04:07
  When I questioned a $2000 food bill for 50 people for the baby
• 1:04:11
  shower she labeled me a damper. I was just wondering why the
• 1:04:15
  food alone and nothing else was $2000.
• 1:04:18
  Yes, that's a good question. Valid question.
• 1:04:21
  Then came the hurtful comments she told me to my face.
• 1:04:25
  I want you to know this baby shower is about me and the baby.
• 1:04:28
  It was designed to include you, but the focus of main decisions
• 1:04:31
  are not yours. I also found out that she told
• 1:04:34
  my own mother this is about me and I'm allowing him to be a
• 1:04:38
  part of it. I feel like I'm being treated
• 1:04:41
  like a sperm donor or a guest in my own life rather than an equal
• 1:04:44
  partner or father. I've been quiet and short with
• 1:04:47
  my family lately because I'm emotionally paradised.
• 1:04:49
  Every time I express hurt I get blamed for starting a fight or
• 1:04:52
  not being consistent. I'm supposed to go to
• 1:04:55
  Valentine's Day dinner and she expects me to have planned it
• 1:04:58
  but I feel like I'm grieving a French or relationship that's
• 1:05:01
  already dead. I love my soon to be child but I
• 1:05:03
  feel like if I stay I'm just signing up to be an authorized
• 1:05:06
  guest in a home where I have no voice.
• 1:05:09
  I've drafted a long message telling her I'm tired of the
• 1:05:12
  emotional whiplash and the lack of respect.
• 1:05:14
  But a part of me wonders, is this just pregnancy stress or am
• 1:05:17
  I being fundamentally devalued? Can this be saved or do I need
• 1:05:21
  to leave my partner for my own sanity and rights as a father?
• 1:05:25
  The second one, yeah, you are being devalued.
• 1:05:28
  You're being disrespected because as someone who was
• 1:05:31
  pregnant three times, not saying that we all experience it the
• 1:05:33
  same way. She is leaning in if she wasn't
• 1:05:36
  this person already to begin with.
• 1:05:38
  She's leaning into the the feelings, the emotions, the
• 1:05:43
  thing. She's not trying to include you.
• 1:05:45
  She's not trying to, she's told. You that she doesn't want you
• 1:05:47
  involved. Exactly, but still.
• 1:05:49
  Support me. Though yes be there but don't
• 1:05:52
  say nothing. No, I think he should leave if
• 1:05:58
  you're asking my relationship advice.
• 1:06:00
  Yeah, I mean that's. Why, you know, just leave.
• 1:06:02
  You're there for your kid, but you do not have to be in a
• 1:06:04
  relationship together. You don't.
• 1:06:05
  No. Oh, is there like legal reasons
• 1:06:11
  sign adversity? Yeah.
• 1:06:13
  Signed the birth certificate also just Yeah, because somebody
• 1:06:18
  can take off, not even let you know they had a baby.
• 1:06:20
  You know, there's we've read a lot of these things and things
• 1:06:23
  happen. So yeah, got you.
• 1:06:30
  Exactly. That's valid.
• 1:06:32
  That's valid. Oh Dang.
• 1:06:34
  I know because she seems vindictive.
• 1:06:36
  Yeah, and just being like and then getting me a family to just
• 1:06:39
  come and be against. Me and to go tell my Mama.
• 1:06:41
  Yeah, about that. No.
• 1:06:42
  Just so you know, your son is not involved.
• 1:06:45
  I'm allowing him to be here. No.
• 1:06:46
  Whoa. No, no, you feel a little too
• 1:06:49
  comfortable here. I'm saying I know, I know all.
• 1:06:54
  Right, this is my last one. I'm ready OK?
• 1:06:57
  Am I the asshole for telling my sister-in-law to work on her
• 1:07:00
  personal issues because of how she treats my boyfriend?
• 1:07:05
  Context. So my boyfriend, 24 and I-22
• 1:07:09
  have been dating for a little over 5 months.
• 1:07:12
  We're both fairly private people when it comes to relationships
• 1:07:15
  and personal lives, but we recently decided to introduce
• 1:07:18
  each other to our families. Last Friday I invited him to
• 1:07:21
  have dinner with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews.
• 1:07:24
  Everyone liked him and got along great together except for my
• 1:07:27
  sister-in-law, 34. Throughout the entire night she
• 1:07:31
  would barely say a word or even look in our direction.
• 1:07:33
  She he complimented one of the dishes that she had cooked and
• 1:07:36
  she completely ignored him. I'm not very close with her, but
• 1:07:40
  she's never acted this way before.
• 1:07:42
  Skip to Saturday morning and I wake up to a long Facebook
• 1:07:45
  message from my sister-in-law in which she tells me that she had
• 1:07:49
  been abused in the past and my boyfriend's appearance resembled
• 1:07:52
  that of her abuser. Whoa, I did not expect.
• 1:07:56
  That that was a twist. Whoa.
• 1:07:59
  I genuinely felt bad and apologized and asked if we can
• 1:08:02
  meet privately and talked talk. She rejected my offer and told
• 1:08:05
  me that she had said all that was needed in her previous
• 1:08:08
  message. I really didn't know how to
• 1:08:10
  reply so I apologized again for bringing up any negative
• 1:08:12
  feelings from the past. I assumed that she just wanted
• 1:08:16
  to get that off her chest and possibly explain her behavior
• 1:08:19
  the previous night and that was going to be the end of it.
• 1:08:22
  Then my parents announced that they're having a family BBQ this
• 1:08:25
  weekend and my sister-in-law calls and tells my mom that she
• 1:08:28
  and my nephews aren't coming if my boyfriend is going to be.
• 1:08:31
  There. This is tough.
• 1:08:35
  After my mom told me what was going on, I decided to go over
• 1:08:38
  to my brother and sister in I expressed that she was being
• 1:08:51
  unfair and that I wouldn't choose.
• 1:08:54
  She told me that I'm being insensitive and disrespectful
• 1:08:56
  towards her by putting her through this, that I'm being
• 1:08:59
  selfish for wanting him around after she expressed how she
• 1:09:02
  feels and that I'm only 22 and won't even be with him forever.
• 1:09:06
  So why am I choosing him over family?
• 1:09:08
  Whoa, OK. I was incredibly upset at this
• 1:09:12
  point and I told her that it's unfair that she's punishing him
• 1:09:14
  and me for something that he has no control over, and that she
• 1:09:17
  needed to go to therapy and work on her personal issues instead
• 1:09:20
  of projecting them onto someone who has nothing to do with her
• 1:09:23
  past. Yeah, she was furious and told
• 1:09:25
  me to leave. Since then, she's blocked me on
• 1:09:27
  everything. She's upset with my parents for
• 1:09:30
  refusing to take sides and for not uninviting me and my
• 1:09:33
  boyfriend to the BBQ. She's messaged both of my
• 1:09:35
  younger sisters, one of them being only 15, and told them
• 1:09:39
  that I treated her badly and escalated the situation.
• 1:09:43
  My brother, her husband, wants no part of it and refuses to get
• 1:09:46
  involved. Honestly, I probably won't go to
• 1:09:49
  the BBQ, but I have no idea how to proceed.
• 1:09:51
  Am I the asshole? I don't think you are no.
• 1:09:55
  And I was on her side until she started getting real mean
• 1:09:58
  because I get trauma is trauma and her coming and being like
• 1:10:01
  yadda yadda. But then also again, not his
• 1:10:04
  fault I look the way I look because of my parents and I'm
• 1:10:07
  sorry, yes, but and. She's getting so.
• 1:10:11
  Yeah, it's a problem for me now because obviously I'm not just
• 1:10:15
  going to break up with him just because he isn't the person.
• 1:10:19
  He didn't hurt you like. I'm sorry, he looks like him,
• 1:10:22
  but then again, go to therapy and then messaging my sisters.
• 1:10:25
  That's where you cross the line. You do not do that.
• 1:10:28
  This is in between me, you, and apparently him because.
• 1:10:31
  Apparently my boyfriend who has nothing to do with this.
• 1:10:33
  Yeah, like poor guy, but like that's mad and considerate.
• 1:10:37
  It is and it's wild because she sent that Facebook message and I
• 1:10:40
  was like, yes, explain why you acted a little funky the other
• 1:10:43
  day and get it off your chest. But to be like, we aren't coming
• 1:10:47
  if he's coming and you need to uninvite him like he was the
• 1:10:50
  person who hurt you. She is treating him like he's
• 1:10:53
  the person who hurt, not no. So she really needs to go to
• 1:10:56
  therapy because if you can't see someone who resembles this
• 1:11:01
  person and separate it from the person who actually hurt you,
• 1:11:05
  then maybe you have some things to work through.
• 1:11:07
  Absolutely. Yeah.
• 1:11:09
  And her acting like it's everyone else's fault and
• 1:11:11
  everyone else is wrong and they need to just like cater and move
• 1:11:15
  to her and like come on. Yeah, she's like, let me call as
• 1:11:18
  many people as I can call to get my side through.
• 1:11:21
  Girl, realistically, I am so sorry that happened to you.
• 1:11:24
  That is why therapy exists. Yes, go talk that through.
• 1:11:29
  You know, I feel bad for the boyfriend 'cause he's like, Dang
• 1:11:32
  it. He's like Dang I just want to go
• 1:11:34
  to a BBQ. No, with my girl.
• 1:11:36
  And then all of a sudden, like that sucks.
• 1:11:39
  Yeah. No, she's not.
• 1:11:41
  She is not the asshole. No.
• 1:11:43
  Well, that's all. I got what you got.
• 1:11:45
  I got nothing else. All right.
• 1:11:46
  All right, now, thank y'all for tuning in.
• 1:11:49
  We appreciate y'all. Love you.
• 1:11:51
  Go watch the previous episodes, too.
• 1:11:53
  Love you.