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Do narcissists have a favorite? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So do narcissists have a favorite?
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  That's the question we want. We want me answering today,
• 0:06
  y'all. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:07
  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
• 0:09
  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code
• 0:29
  Bing. Welcome back folks, welcome
• 0:30
  back, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:32
  So before you happened in today's episode y'all please
• 0:34
  check out and consider following my other channel.
• 0:37
  It's called Lee dot actions. LAE dot action is going to be my
• 0:42
  reaction channel while react to videos or responding.
• 0:45
  I do text message breakdowns and also do you know, do my
• 0:49
  voicemails and things like that. You can find a link in the
• 0:51
  description of every video and podcast that I do.
• 0:54
  It's going to be a beautiful channel.
• 0:55
  Y'all. I'm just same type of content,
• 0:57
  just separate stuff and whatnot. So check out Lee dot actions.
• 1:02
  Follow it and send your story in as well.
• 1:05
  But yes, narcissistic people. What do you know a do they have
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  a favorite? I know you her favorite person
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  when you a lot when you're referring to people with
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  borderline personality disorder, borderline people typically have
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  a favorite person or a person that they, you know, get
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  attached to and can be, you know, obsessed with and what
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  not. But narcissists can have a
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  favorite person as well. Not favorite like person, like
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  as deep as borderline, borderline can get, but favorite
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  person as they can be obsessed with this person in in a very,
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  very unhealthy way. Like an extremely unhealthy way.
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  This attachment is unhealthy as hell.
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  You know what I mean? Unhealthy as hell.
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  Like for real, It's seriously unhealthy.
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  But so like, we'll leave. Since you're talking about it,
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  do you have any favorite supply? Favorite X favorite person?
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a very toxic X.
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  I've told this story before. My toxic X was my favorite
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  person for a very long time. Was was my favorite supply for a
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  very long time. But we're both toxic.
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  We kind of fed off of each other.
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  Narcissists and narcissists don't match very well.
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  It seems like it would be a match made in hell, wouldn't it?
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  A perfect match created in the fiery pits.
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  But it it is a perfect match. It is fiery, but we burn each
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  other down. We burn each other and everybody
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  else around us. Now happens so much happens all
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  the time. We burn each other and everybody
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  else around us down at the same. Yeah, it could get very toxic,
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  but your narcissistic partner right now might be obsessed with
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  their ex, might be obsessed with their baby Mama or baby daddy,
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  their ex-husband, their ex-wife, one of their one of their kids.
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  They could have a favorite person.
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  Yeah, they could absolutely have a favorite form of supply that
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  they're addicted to. Like if you have a narcissist
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  that is addicted to their ex, that is still obsessed with
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  their ex, they will either bash them, trash them, bashing, you
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  know the old bashing trash. They'll either do that or
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  they'll go the other direction. They'll worship them.
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  They'll just be not super. They'll talk about talk about
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  their ex in a very nice way to you.
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  They'll make it seem like there's nothing their ex could
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  do nothing wrong. My ex is perfect.
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  I have the perfect ex, but you know dad well that they don't
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  have the perfect eggs. They really don't.
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  This happens so much like if you're in a relationship or you
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  just getting, if you just getting to know somebody and you
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  might think that they're a narcissistic.
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  If your relationship is fresh two 3-4 months in year in and
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  they're still hyper focused on their ex, yo, that is super red
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  flaggy. Super red flaggy.
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  Y'all see this right here super red flaggy.
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  The flags are flying the horns, the the the fire of Gondor is
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  lit. It's red flaggy as hell.
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  A I'm not telling you to abandon ship, but I'm telling you to
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  abandon ship because they can give it can get very toxic very
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  fast like because if they're obsessed with their exes, if
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  they have a favorite and you can tell that they have a favorite,
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  will they leave you for that favorite?
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  Yes, no matter how deep y'all get into our relationship, they
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  could they will sometimes still leave you for their favorite
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  person if it has little to do with you.
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  It's just like this is my obsession, this is my addiction.
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  I'm addicted to this person. This is the one that got away.
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  And you know that narcissist don't like to be alone.
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  So if they have a one that got away, they can use, they can try
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  to use you as a segue, they can absolutely use you as a
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  placeholder until the other person tries to come back, you
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  know, until the other person lets them back into their life.
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  And then they will abandon you, discard you.
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  No matter how many kids you have, y'all have, no matter how
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  many things you'll have going on, you know what I mean?
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  No matter what y'all have going on, no matter what y'all have
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  built together, they will still leave you for their favorite.
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  They will. And y'all will be.
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  So, you know, y'all will be so hurt, you'll be so sad and
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  you'll be blaming yourself. But it had nothing to do with
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  you. It's just this other person
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  they're obsessed with. But Lee, what if they if they go
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  to this other person, would they treat them better?
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  Probably for a little while, probably to get back in their
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  good graces. But just because they try to
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  treat them well to get back into their good graces doesn't mean
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  that it's going to be a permanent change of behaviors.
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  You know, I always try to tell people when you don't focus on
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  how they're treating someone else, focus on how they treated
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  you because that helps you heal how they're treating somebody
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  else. Like Lee, they're treated in the
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  next person better. You can't control that.
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  The only thing you can control from here going forward is how
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  you were treated, right? That's the only thing that you
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  have control over is how you were treated.
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  It may be how to rebuild your boundaries of how to have new
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  fresh boundaries, how to get to that point where you're not
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  afraid to walk away early on in a relationship.
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  To hell with them. To hell with them.
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  It's new, the relationship is new.
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  It's fresh to hell with them early on, like you could tell
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  that they're still obsessed with their ex.
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  They still their ex is their favorite.
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  To hell with them because if you don't say it to hell with them
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  now, they're probably going to say it to hell with you later on
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  when they with the doors of the church are reopened and then you
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  allow them back into a new relationship with you.
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  They're going to come and try to destroy you.
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  They'll they'll destroy you and leave you for the other leave
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  you for their ex. They could.
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  They will leave you for their ex that they hated, the exes they
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  claim to hate. They will leave you for believe
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  they always they saw. They said they hated their ex
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  and their exes this, their exes that, and they left me for What
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  does that mean? It means that they were lying to
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  you if they were lying to you to so that you would think that
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  think negatively of their ex. So you wouldn't suspect
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  anything. If they, you know, if they the
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  relationship started to, you know, heat up behind the scenes,
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  you wouldn't expect anything. You would just be like, oh,
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  you'll be just dead, deadly shocked like you are now that
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  you got left for their ex that they were obsessed with.
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  Obsession doesn't always have the obvious signs, the signs
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  that this person is their favorite.
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  You know, if they, let's just say they broke up with their ex,
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  right? Let's just say your narcissistic
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  partner broke up with their ex and they broke, they left their
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  ex. The ex has been broken up with
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  and everything, right? But they just still are stalking
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  their social media. Like you see them at night and
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  they're looking at that social media from a fake page.
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  Their ex has been blocked, but they created a fake page that
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  stalked their ex. You don't think that's obsession
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  or stalkerish? You don't question that.
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  I mean, you don't have to ask them a question because they're
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  going to make something up. They'll lie to you, but you
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  don't. You yourself ask yourself this
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  question because asking yourself these questions help you heal.
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  Asking the nursery these questions ain't going to do
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  nothing for you. Asking yourself these questions
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  at least allows you the opportunity to heal.
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  At least allows you to the chance to heal, to give yourself
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  y'all. Give yourself a damn chance.
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  Give yourself a shot. Damn.
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  At least a little bit of shot. At least a little shot.
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  Damn. Come on, this is where the
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  healing happens at y'all. This is where like when I'm
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  telling y'all what? I'm just saying hey, it's time
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  to, it's healing season, it's time to heal.
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  It's time to get past this, it's time to grow.
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  This is where it comes into play at.
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  Like if they still are obsessed with Lee, what can I do to make
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  them treat me better and stop being obsessive over their ex?
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  Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
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  So now there's nothing you can do.
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  You can't make a narcissist treat you better.
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  Yeah, if you think you're dealing with a narcissist and
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  they are pathological, there's nothing you can do to make them
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  treat you better unless you just have, unless you are able to
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  enforce some type of boundary and or have some type of
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  leverage to get them to move. You have to have some type of
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  leverage to get them to move in the shake.
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  You have to have some type of leverage on this person to get
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  them to adjust. You see what I'm saying?
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  You have to. If you don't have, you know what
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  I'm saying? If you don't have any type of
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  leverage, then why would they listen to you?
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  Like why? Why would they listen to
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  anything that you have to say? That's what I'm telling you.
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  You have the power, you have the strength in these situations to
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  empower yourself to be able to move forward, to be able to
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  grow, to be able to heal. It's on you.
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  You have the power, it's on you. You have the strength, it's on
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  you because the narcissist in your life is only going to do it
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  benefits them and a lot of times it benefits them to have their
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  favorites. And like, are they?
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  Are they always going to leave you for one of their flavors?
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  Are they always going to leave you for one of their favorites?
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  No, they're not always going to leave you for one of their
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  favorites. They're not going to do that.
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  Sometimes their favorite with their ex is out of reach.
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  They'll never get them back. You know their ex has blocked
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  them with no contact with them, right?
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  But it doesn't stop them from being obsessive.
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  Y'all know sometimes when you go, when you go no contact with
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  a narcissist, they get worse. They get, they become more
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  obsessive, they become more dangerous.
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  They try to come back and get you.
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  They they, they try to do a lot to you.
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  They try to hurt you, they try to harm you.
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  They do a lot to you. They try to just come back and
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  bury you in some way shape or form.
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  They do this, you know what I mean?
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  They do this a lot. And again, at the end of the
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  day, I want y'all to win. But winning takes strength,
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  Winning takes resilience. Winning takes boundaries.
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  Winning takes power. I want y'all to win so damn bad.
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  But you, in order to win, you have to be willing to release
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  this person. You have to be willing to let
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  this person go. Let free, free this person.
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  You have to be willing to free them because it freed them free
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  because it allows you to heal, it allows you to grow, but you
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  have to power up. You have to be able to do it
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  because if you don't do it, y'all, I'm just telling you,
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  they're going to run over top of you all the time.
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  They're going to run over top of you and continuously run over
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  top of you. Like narcissist can't absolutely
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  have a favorite. And like I said, the end this
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  video, y'all, you might be the favorite, you might be they
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  might be obsessed with you. You might be that ex that they
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  won't let go. I'll say this, I know this.
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  I know this is going to sound ignorant to tell.
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  I know it's going to sound dumb, but bear with me.
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  Just because you're their favorite or their and they might
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  be obsessed with you does not mean that they will treat you
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  any better. I can say that just because
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  you're their favorite does not guarantee any type of
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  preferential treatment or any type of better behaviors.
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  They still will cheat on you. They still will beat on you.
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  They still will manipulate you and gaslight you and demean you.
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  Just because they thank you and their favorite does not mean
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  that they will treat you any better.
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  You know what I mean? Anyway, y'all make sure you
• 11:36
  subscribe to this channel. Make sure you subscribe to my
• 11:38
  other channel, Lee dot actions. Check me out over there.
• 11:42
  You want me? If you want me to consider
• 11:44
  breaking down one of your videos, check it out.
• 11:46
  Like send me an e-mail to mentalillness85@gmail.com and we
• 11:52
  will keep chatting. Y'all subscribe make mental
• 11:55
  illness is out. Peace.
• 11:57
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:59
  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 12:02
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:03
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
• 12:06
  to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 12:08
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:11
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 12:13
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 12:15
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:17
  Peace.