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SMNTY Classics: Mistress Day · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Smitha and welcome Stuff Never
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Told You production of iHeartRadio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And welcome to.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Our Valentine's Day episode classic by.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: This expression, that's one of those kind of ironic Valantine.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yes, well, there are a couple of episodes
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: that were on my mind for this. Uh and one
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: was the episode that you did Samantha on Mistress Day.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, which is around the same time I've got
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day, Mistress Day. Uh. So I feel
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: like every topic we come up with for Valentine's Day
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: has traditionally been kind of a darker.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Day anti Valentine's Apparently.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: A lot of them are as I was finding looking
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: through these classics. But please enjoy and have happy Valentine's
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Day and Valentine's.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Day, Happy Valentine.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Anny and Smitha.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm welcome to stuff I've Never Told You production of iHeartRadio.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, so for this Monday Mini Annie, we need to
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: start off with a timestamp, which is we are recording
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: on February eighth, twenty four and this will be released
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: though on Monday, February twelfth, for if you happen to
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: listen on the day of This is when we were
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: recording it. If you're listening much long further down the road,
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: you're like, why are you talking about Valentine's Day? Well,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: now you know why, because yes, Valentine's Day is just
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: around the corner as you're listening to this. Of course
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: we had to do something that was related to this
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: day of love or day of commercially giving, so we
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: can judge our partners to on what they gave us
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: or didn't give us row food. By the way, if
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: anybody was asking, always food or a puppy, I'm not
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: adding to that list.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Puppy not for me. Have you seen pizza as a
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: breakup pizza?
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, they break it up. Break it's like broken, it's broken.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: And the one I said, we've like swirled, we've gone
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: from Valentine's Day is all that romance to like, let's
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: just stop protecting what I think.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: It's kind of background being salty valentied essentially as you
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: were saying. But like the one I saw had the
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: box with the name to the person is sorry about that?
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, good luck.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you're a delivery person like, whoo, well, I.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: This is like the equivalent of when you're in middle
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: school and you don't want to break up with them,
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: so your friend goes and tells you, hey, so and
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: so it is breaking up with you, sorry, and then
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: moving on, and then that friend really loving that moment
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: because you know she gets they get to be a
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: part of it even though they are not a part
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: of this drama. I feel like this is that equivalent.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: So if anyone, if like middle schoolers get a credit
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: card or get their parents' credit card, they're going to
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: do this.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I can see just like sending this to people for.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, if I get a free pizza out of it,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: that's not bad.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: It's better than.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Just being broken up with.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: That's yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying I haven't had a Pizza Hut pizza
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: in a very long time, so I don't know the quality,
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: but I'm just saying a pizza a win is a win.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: At a certain point, yes, I mean definitely, I'd be
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: like Pizza Hut, But then I'd be like, all right, sponsor, praps.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Sponsor, apparently we need to have it.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: So with all of that, you know what, because we
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: have started one rabbit hole, we're gonna do another one,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: so y'all can come with me into this very interesting
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: romantic tale of Mistress Day, which I didn't know anything about.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: But Annie, you said you knew something about.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I had heard of it. I think we had done
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: we'd done something on Ashley Madison. Yes, and it came up,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: which I know you'll talk about more in a second,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: But yes, it came up with that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that makes sense. But it's been around before
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Ashley Madison apparently. But for me personally, February thirteenth is
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Gallantine's Day, which is all cheerful and great. See our
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: previous episode where we talked about it, and we enjoy
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: the joys of that. Thank you Parks and Ratt for
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: giving us a name for this holiday. But for some,
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: specifically those in the restaurant industry, because this is kind
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: of where it comes from, is what many call Mistress Day. Me,
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: being my naive self, had no idea. Again, this was
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: a thing makes sense, but I didn't know.
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  Speaker 2: Yet.
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  Speaker 3: But I will say part of this kind of the
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: first thing I have in my head is like the
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: eighties nineties soap opera thing with the rich older men
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: taking out their Valentine to these restaurants on the low,
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: you know. And by the way, again, rich people think
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: because Valentine's celebration is ridiculously expensive, you try to go
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: out to this like prefixed menu, it's like four hundred
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: dollars and that doesn't include drinks, which I did that
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: last year because I just wanted to do it for
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: one time round. Have a nice little I love a
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: prefixed milk. Like if it's good, it's good. But damn
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: is expensive. Yeah, yep. So for a person to do
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: that twice in one week, well, I guess because the
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: February thirteenth is not necessarily Actually, most of the restaurants
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: that I was looking at recently they had a prefix
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: menu from like the twelfth to the fifteenth, so they
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: were covering their damn basis.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I think it's like if you can't get one, you
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: can't get a reservation, and or you're busy the day
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: quotever reason, Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Just put that quote saying yeah for whatever.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: For whatever reason.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yes.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: But thanks to TikTok again for informing me of such practices,
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: and more specifically to Delish the site who did an
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: article and did a whole video talking about these things
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: and traditions. So here's a definition from them. Mistress Day
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: is the day when affair havers choose to shower their
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: other special someone prior to whining and dining their actual
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: partner on February fourteenth. They explain. Also Mistress Day also
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: called mistress Night or paramore Night, which I like that
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: title better. I'm not gonna lie. It apparently occurs on
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: the day before Valentine's Day. So there you go. And
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: there's a couple another term that we're gonna talk about
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: a minute. I think it's just as funny. And the
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: article continues. A study from Ashley Madison Australia suggests, yes
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: the Affair website, so take this with a grain of salt,
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: that thirty percent of male and female cheaters typically spend
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Valentine's Day with their outside partners, and they often spend
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: the same or more on their affair partners during the holiday,
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: between one hundred dollars to two hundred and fifty dollars
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: per partner. Again, why would you cheat it? It's expensive,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm finding out.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: It is expensive, and it's also, like I think, pretty
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: telling if you spend more because you don't want them
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: to say something you're like, see, I appreciate you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: So a couple of the articles that I read outside
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: of this, and they are older so one of them
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: was two thousand and nine, one of them was two thousand,
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: one of them was twenty eleven, so a little older,
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: and talking about these some of them said that seventy
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: percent of more people who have these partners, I guess
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: will will be spending more on them, so they're more
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: likely going to spend more and then move on and
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: kind of talked about how the women or people who
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: are their spouses or actual partners get less and less
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: and less every year. Yeah, that's so sad. Do better
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: people again. All of this makes me very sad, both
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: for the amount spent in general, to the cheating and
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: to the cheating like both of those things, I'm like,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: don't wow, wow, Like I want to be cared for,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: but I want thoughtful presence just knowing that you care. Yeah,
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: any I know you care, Which does bring in the
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: perspective that it may not be about mistresses at all,
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: just as a reminder, but couples who are making smart
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: financial deals and decisions and also not missing with those crowds.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: So they're like yeah, we're gonna do it ahead of time,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: or later we'll just do our own thing, so you know,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: that's one option. Or perhaps they are polyamorous or in
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: an open relationship so they are communicating, so it's not
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: so much cheating, or so we can't judge any of
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: these things by that appearance because you never know. You
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: never know, So as just someone like, don't become that
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: person that comes to like you're cheating unless you actually know.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I guess.
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  Speaker 3: Also, can we talk about how this sexist idea links
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  Speaker 3: very heavily into the rich man having an affair thing,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: because again, mistress day is definitely gendered as we see it,
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: and of course one article the New York Post puts
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: it this way, mistress day has become a misnomer as
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: more cougars have gotten in on the action. So there
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: you go, I guess. And then there's some just shows
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: up bad. So I was like, okay, add another sexist
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: term to that to make it worse. While this is
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: just a fair having men, it's mistresses and cougar's in
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: that term. I was like, yeah, that's about right, But
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: there is another term also for this practice. I enjoy
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: a bit more. I will say, which is Valence swins Day,
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: y'all Valence swines And I was like, oh, okay, which
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: is not to be confused to the German tradition of
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: their own form of Valentine's I guess I don't know
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: if that's what they call it. I'm sure they don't
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: call it valanced wines day that Germany has a term
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: for it. But they do actually exchange pigs, unfortunately, not
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: real ones, because I want to pot belly pigs. I'm
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: gonna give me one, just kidding, but keep seeks and
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: as such, and pigs are considered good luck and oftentimes
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: will be a picture of a pig instead of cupid.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a practice, but this is not what
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: we're talking about. This is not a cute term of
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: endearment for that no, but as would indicate, people use
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: this term as more of a dig as A New
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: York Post titled it titled their twenty eleven piece about
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: this subject Valence Swine's Day When Pigs romance mistresses. Dang,
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, I really appreciate
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: this title, So we're gonna gender it. Let's do it
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: this way, because I'm like, the very least, we're not
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: blaming the mistress on this one, just the mistress on
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: this way Paramore day, Paramore night. I feel like it
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: is a fancier version, right, Maybe this is Ashley Madison term.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: And of course we had to do the urban Dictionary
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: example about this term the day before Valentine's Day that
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: guys used to spend time with their second or third
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: most important woman in their lives. February thirteenth is the
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: day that just get to feel like wives and sideline
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: hoes get to feel like star players. Yes, this is
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: all urban dictionary, y'all. It's especially sad when the girl
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: doesn't know she's not the only girl her boyfriend is seeing.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: And of course they have a little dialogue. So, uh,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: you want to be a girl too in this Annie? Yeah?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Sure, all right, here we go. Girl.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: So he's taking you out the day before Valentine's Day.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he has to work late on Valentine's Day.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure he's going to be with his actual girlfriend.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: That's why he's taking you out on Valencewine's Day.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And scene scene what you need to do these more often?
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so apparently it's a thing. I'm not really
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: I try to find the history of where that began.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's just the easily done, like obvious term and
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: it just kind of grew with that, but yeah, it
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: did start. It does look like it originated from restaurant
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: because they had to prepare and knowing that how much
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: money they were going to make or who's coming in.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: A lot of servers were interviewed talking about how they were,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: you know, given the eye or the look from the
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: cheater be like please, please play it cool, how oftentimes
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: they were so uncreative, not creative, that they would come
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: to the same place two or three times back to
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: back to back, so they knew who these people were.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I think there was one person talked about how they
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: did out them quite loudly and it was quite funny.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And then there was another person talking about how she
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: had a huge tip because the dude was like realizing
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: she wasn't playing along because she would look just look
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: more confused more than anything else, not saying anything, just
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: obviously wasn't aware of what's happening, and it was like
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: please with the love of Jesus, and gave her a
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: huge tip in order to keep her quiet.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Aw geez.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: So so they go Happy Valentine's Day. I hope your
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Valentie's Day is better than this mess right here if
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: you happen to celebrate, if you would just rather do
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: the joys of Gallantine, we hear you, and Happy Gallantine's
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Day from us.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and if you want to go
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: check out our you know not too oftenly updated Instagram
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: we did prior to a Gallantine's Day post from Disneyland.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: It's true, it's very cute. Thank you, that is very cute.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: But yes, whatever you're doing, because again I'm pretty much
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: just like eating food by myself, and I'm pretty excited
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: about it. You can email us at Stephanie moms Stuff
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: stuff One never told you. We have a tea public
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: store and we have a book you can get wherever
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: you get your books. Thanks as always too, our super
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: producer Christina Ing, secret producer My and your contributor Joey.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: Happy Gallentines Day and Friends Day.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, thanks to you for listening.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Stefan ever totallys prediction of My Heart for more podcast
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: from My Heart, You can check out the radio app,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Apple podcast or where you listen to your favorite shows.